memorable

Well, that was a weird, dark dream. I was part of an intelligence unit raiding a Native American trailer park that housed a dope-growing operation. We went in there in suits, chucked bottles of accelerant at all the trailers except for two, the guy who tipped us off and the HQ, then lit it up and either rounded people up or gunned them down as they ran around in confusion. My boss in the operation was this 'spooky calm' kind of Tommy Lee Jones-ish guy, who gave a very rational defense of the whole operation when I declared it monstrous. He wandered around the trailer collecting tree branch specimens that were hanging around, and since we were doing it, I called dibs on an industrial juicer we found

a
4-22-2011

I was aware this was a dream but did not have the awesome clarity and mental plasticity as a full LD.

I was also aware, on some level, of my dream goal of wanting to be a hero or helper and was expecting for this to show up during the dream.

Dream 1: Sarcasm

I was in a building that opened its doors into a dirty dusty courtyard. I thought ‘what a pathetic place.’ Unimpressed with this dream already, I still had to explore so I walked out into the dusty lot of a yard and walked toward a group of people I saw in a far corner. I then saw a boy (about 5 years old) at the opposite end, he was dirty and had raggy clothes. He was looking at a little blond girl his same age with mud on her face and on her torn clothes. Now I was angry at this dream giving me this out an infinity of interesting things I could be seeing. “Oh this is great.” “Oh its Mr. Little. And oh look, its Misses Little Ugg Lay.” I decided to walk in-between them and see what was up with them.
Before I got there a woman (white in her 60’s with obviously artificial brown hair) stopped me “Wait I need to take your blood pressure!” It was harmless and you never know it could become interesting. She put the cuff on my wrist then realized that was not the right place for it and put in on my bicep and pumped it up and started to count.
After she was finished I started to walk to the business men talking in the corner but the oldest one with gray hair said “Don’t.” So I walked a bit and thought about using telekinesis to rip the whole surrounding buildings down for kicks. Then this guy came towards me from that corner, now a little ways away, and said “Now if you don’t behave I will have to throw you out.” “Oh I wish you could throw me out” I said knowing he was no match for me. He then walks up on the wall defying gravity toward me and down on the ground closer to me shocks my arm a tiny bit with a bolt of electricity. I am unfazed. He then shoots a laser at my arm and cuts it open to the muscles inside which would be horrifying if this was not a dream and I was not the indestructible being that I am. Still it is a cool power I suppose. He stormed off.
A couple came out to me and threw down a picnic blanket. I felt their expectation that I was supposed to join them so I sat down and waited for the woman, who looked a lot like Dharma from the TV show Greg and Dharma

(the short haired girl in blond?), put everything in place. Sitting down I didn’t feel like myself any more, it felt a lot like when you wear a mask and you feel the difference of what you are supposed to be. “Wow this is great ain’t it?” I said sarcastically. I didn’t like what I had said but fortunately it was taken as me joking around. The woman put out the food which was the tiniest amounts of food amounting to 3 gray pees and a thumb sized spot of gravy. I then yelled “DON’T TOUCH! I DON’T WANT ANYBODY TO HAVE TOO MUCH!” I was shocked and thought ‘where did that come from?!’ The woman was sitting there in disappointed shock and the guy with us was like with his mouth hanging open. “I didn’t mean that” I muttered, “it’s perfect, it’s just a taste. Just a taste…” Embarrassed and unsure at what just happened I got up and walked off.


Dream 2: First Aid Hero

I was in a large parking lot like out front of a Lowes or WalMart and so I walked into the garden center area these kinds of stores have and someone behind me asked for help. It was a woman about 23 needing to get up high on to the shelved plants up high. She felt like I worked there and I felt that maybe I did in the real world and this was my dream from that life. I helped hook her up to some pipe on the ceiling so she could use it like a zip line but it didn’t work. A female manager came to us and criticized how I attached her to the pipe which made me hate the idea that I may work at a place like this. I thought about several ways to blow the store up but realized that chemical reactions don’t work in this dream world so no real explosion would happen.
‘Screw this’ I thought and headed for the outer fence of the garden center “where you going?” a female voice called out to me from behind, I completely ignored it.
At the fence I flew up a bit and passed through the chain link fence and flew over the parking lot to the woods. I tried to get some more height but could only get as high as the trees which I ran into. Then I saw a very large and pointed hill of dirt and thought ‘well this flat city really does have a “mountain” after all’ I chuckled to myself. I let myself float onto this hill but then saw a lot of ants on the hill, and was for a moment scared that they’d bite me, but remembered they can’t bite me in a dream.
I drifted toward the highway where there were cars and 18-wheelers speeding by. I floated into the traffic but was too high for the cars. Then in another lane 18-wheeler tipped over on its side and skidded my way. I couldn’t get enough height and the truck hit me but I felt no pain it just bumped me up into the air more. Seeing the truck on the side of the road on its side, I flew over and opened the door and went inside to see the driver had a lot of scrapes and a bloody wound on his chest. I spun into hero mode, at least from my certification in First Aid, and dressed his wounds in record time. Then I knew the last instruction is to wait for the emergency crews ‘I did enough here, this was successful, I can go now’ I thought and woke up to record this dream.

I was taking a break from all the work I've had recently.
Just chilling out, watching some random episodes and movies. (Game of Thrones pilot, Dr. No)
Then I got tired and decided to take an afternoon nap.
I put my rather comfortable chair all the way back and listened to some ambient music with my eyes closed.
For some reason there was some Daft Punk in my playlist, I remember it because I was getting into SP whilst listening to:


The music slowly becomes muffled (I don't know if this is the right term), like if I was under water.
I know I'm about to enter a dream when I'm startled by the feeling of arms embracing me from behind.
Assuming that this is caused by SP I try to ignore the feeling, but when I notice a breeze of air on my face, I decide to open my eyes.
My vision is extremely blurry. I can only distinguish between different intensities of light, but I cannot see any shapes.

But then I feel the presence of Yuya. She's holding me from behind, these are her arms, and suddenly I feel very much at ease.
My vision sharpens and I notice I am riding a motorbike with Yuya.
We're on some sort of red planet. At first I think that we're riding in a red sand desert, but the bike has too much grip for the surface to be sand.
It must be some sort of stone with a sandy texture or something along those lines.

I don't really care much about my surroundings though, I'm very much focused on Yuya.
For some reason, even though I can't see her because she's sitting behind me, she feels even more real than usual.
I can feel her chest expand against my back as she breathes, for some reason this really overwhelms me.
She's resting her face on my left shoulder, and I can feel her breath against my neck.
I can even feel her heart pound very lightly.
I feel extremely good, ecstatic even.

I take a short look of my surroundings.
Besides the red planet surface, I see a red sky covered by some white clouds.
I'm a bit surprised, because my dreams usually feature cold colors. Blue, Green, Yellow are common colors in my dreams, but not Red, at least not so much of it.
There are weird animals flying in the sky. They look a bit like jellyfish, except they are waaaaay bigger, and well, float in the sky.
The bike I'm riding is futuristic, and definitely not of human design.
The dashboard is in an alien language, it consists of combinations of different geometric shapes.
I spot many triangles and circles.
The engine has much more torque than one would expect from a bike engine.
It's sound is also very deep and bassy. It's definitely a combustion engine.

I accelerate a bit, but not really by much. Testing out the bike doesn't really tempt me.
I just want to enjoy being so close to Yuya.
We keep driving like that for about a minute, sharing our thoughts.
But none of us really think of anything, our minds are blank and at peace.
Sharing this feeling is very refreshing.

Then I wake up. The transition out of the dream is very smooth.
I regret that these WILDs during afternoon naps don't last very long at all.
Nevertheless I feel very happy and refreshed.

It was storming outside, pretty intense-like. I was going around the house shutting the windows as rain was spraying in and making the curtains go crazy. That's all I remember from my "nights" sleep if you can call it that.

Then I went back to sleep and I was upset, everything was how it was when I fell asleep. A bunch of girls that I hang out with occasionally showed up in PJ's, they were planning a sleepover at my house, which I didn't expect. T got up and we weren't talking cause I was angry with him and he was angry with me. He was trying to get his car up and going so he could go celebrate, he said later that he was celebrating his birthday a little early, and he was mad at me for making plans, I guess. The girls were all hanging out, my house was a mess and I told them we should go get movies later, thats when I went up to T and asked him to just stay gone tonight.

Then I'm with T at the lake, same dream as above, and everyone's tuning into this stupid talk radio station. They're telling everyone to call and answer questions or shout out their opinions and everyone is calling. The station people were there too, in front of us, and there were guys acting clever for calling and watching their phone call. I remember thinking it was all stupid.

I became lucid in my house and when I had fallen asleep this time, Alice in the Wonderland had been playing on my TV. I became lucid, and was angry, I pulled a gun out and started shooting the characters on the movie. Then I said fuck it and tried to fly through my window, part of me doubted it was going to work, I got through the window and there was nothing on the other side, I woke up with my eyes still shut. Then I had to get up.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my wedding...I was going to marry Ryan. It was outside in a green field. There were tons of chairs set up. We had never had a rehearsal dinner, so I was kind of worried about how things would go, but I hoped it would work out fine. I thought about being up at the alter, saying my vows. The wedding was to be at noon.

Then, I remember seeing a soccer field that kind of looked like a volleyball court behind where we were supposed to have the ceremony. I remember seeing Kim, a girl I work with, playing soccer with a group of people. My boss told her she wouldn't get credit for something because she wasn't going to be at my wedding. She said she knew. I wasn't really too concerned about it. The only thing was, I thought the game may interfere with the ceremony. Someone kicked a soccerball and it went out of bounds towards me. I took it and threw it back to them.

People started to fill up the empty seats that were set up. I was laying on my stomach to the right of the alter. I was wearing a strapless wedding dress. I noticed that my bridesmaids were all late; I didn't see any of them. The seats were full now...there were tons of people on both sides.

Then, a director by the alter started to direct the organ. The Wedding March started to play. I thought it was just a rehearsal of the music, so I just stayed where I was and watched. But then, I saw Ryan and his groomsmen walking to the alter. I thought about how it was said to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding. I also thought that Ryan must be confused, because this is just a rehearsal...right?

I remember seeing the director quietly counting the beats off to himself as he directed. He then looked at me as if to say "We're waiting for you, get up here!". I started to mouth to him whether or not I needed to be up there or not. Ryan and his groomsmen were standing at the alter. I then remember seeing 3 of my bridesmaids in long, black dresses covered in sequens standing at the alter. They had HUGE tags that the bridesmaids hadn't taken off of them yet. I guessed they were going to return them. I remember Rachel being one of the bridesmaids, and then a girl I barely know in waking life that I went to high school with, Lindsey, being one. I can't remember who the 3rd one was. They still weren't all there though. Upon closer examination of the bridesmaids' dresses, I noticed that they had some crazy, huge headpiece attatched to them. Wtf?

~

I was in a house. I was laying down to go to sleep. My bed was in the kitchen. I remember hearing music play. A woman was cleaning the kitchen, which was only lit by the light above the stove. She laid down next to me and tried to cuddle me. She whispered something in my ear. I said "no" to whatever it is that she said.

Then, I remember seeing Nick. He told me it was a shame that I was getting married, since so many guys liked me.

I then remember being by the kitchen sink. A lizard was swimming in a large glass of dirty water, which was sitting in the sink. The lizard was Kacey's, and I was watching him for her. I dumped out the dirty water in the glass, and filled in with clean water from the tap. The lizard then proceeded to use the bathroom, dirtying the water again. The glass was warm. Gross.

I was then going to fill the sink up with water and let him swim in there, but decided I first needed to put Belle, my cat, away first so she didn't eat him. I asked someone if the "Spanish room" was being used. I then saw my old high school Spanish teacher, Mrs. K. She said no, the room wasn't being used. I thought this was odd for a second, but didn't look too far into it.

I took Belle into the "Spanish room", which was located in the back of the house. It was a beautiful, old-timey-looking bedroom. I remember seeing big, billowy off-white curtains. It was very cute. I put Belle down in the room.

Hello I'm Aurianna potter I'm 11 years old and very recently all has gone bad...
My grandfather passed away and the following day my first cat did to i was in shock in tears in depression. but before that my grandfather wanted to die at home with his family and there was this particular cat that kept getting in.... he still found a way in in even tho every single door window was locked and shut she still got in..? So after that he died i went home and then then my cat got hit by a truck that sort of disappeared. So we went to go get that Odd cat and we took him home and he stayed there and stayed there and for a week he was there but when my dad went to get my grandfathers ashes the cat disappeared.. so the following weeks i went to my moms house and layed in bed after a long deppresing day at school on top of my tv layed to fropg with magnetice lips so when they touched it went "mmmwaa i love you" and i sat up to grab nail polish when out of the corner of my eye it went "mmmwwwaaaa i love you" and i was stunned frozen in bed as i hid under the the covers i heard it agine and it sounded closer "Aurianna" my mother called and i peeked above my blankets and the frogs had stopped. I got up and ran from my room.. i didnt want to tell my mom she would think me crazy so i kept it a secret. And yet agine it happend as i went to be! i had a brillinat idea i was to ask my mom to swit5ch rooms with my 1 year old brither and my 3 now 4 year old sister she agrred scince they had the smaller room we switched. but each night i still hear "mmmwwaa i love you"

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This is a complete but rough draft
From a couple nights ago


Spirituality's Just a Clunky Flashlight: Surprise Gratitude

I wasn’t expecting to have another lucid dream. Not since I did the other night after probably years of not remembering a lucid dream. I wasn’t even particularly focused on it last night, I was more interested in the emotional processing of dreams I’ve been remembering.

Before falling asleep, I went into the deepest meditation I think I’ve experienced before. During this meditation I was using audio with delta binaural (as well as other aspects) for the first time. I had used the demo before, before falling asleep and having the first lucid dream in this journal. That was the first lucid dream I remembered in a long time and it happened maybe 3 nights before the lucid dream in this journal entry.

There were many exceptionally vivid visuals that arose during the meditation. I kept coming back to my breath, but sometimes would just give in to the feeling of witnessing instead, feeling like why focus on the breath if that’s not the real point? Being the Witness is. Then I would lose my deeper connection with witnessing and come back to my breath. Cyclic.

I finished the meditation, rolled on my side, and meditated a bit without audio. I jumped when my name and something else was said in my ear. It seemed like a loud voice because of my stillness, but it was a whisper as if coming from a man, a lover, behind me. It was just so real and audible that it startled me.

I fell asleep normally, not trying to WILD or whatnot.

My mom in the living room, then in my room. Us conversing throughout this. Having the sense that I’m both in my living room and in my bed asleep simultaneously. She kind of giggles at me. I wonder if she’s there with me or not, if I’m hallucinating or something. She comes to my room and I’m only there, not in two places at once anymore. My window is open and there is a breeze. I ask her to close it for me; I don’t want to get up. She starts to close just the blinds and I ask her to close the window as well. She does. (Was some man coming toward the window, flying?)

I thought, this is a dream.

Darkness, vague sense of my body and no surroundings, as if I had my eyes closed in the dream. A strong, turning slowly in bed sensation. I couldn’t control it. slowly, over, over, tipping the sensation of falling at the same time. The slow shift ended.

Walking, it is rather dark around me, a kind of muddy and empty yet dense darkness, like mist. Around something, turning, perhaps it was a small gate that I walked around.

The dream felt very ordinary. Almost disappointing.

meditated for a few breaths but then

wanted to experiment with other things

Asked to see my higher self (I don’t think I reflected on the forum thread specifically, but knew it was something I wanted to do.)

A muted gray "wheel of fortune" with different faces on it, spinning slowly. alternating panels of dark grey and darker grey. Thought it was a very fitting image for how I conceive of a higher self intellectually.

Kinda sorta looked like this

Seemed somewhat boring, too intellectual.

I asked to see what I “need to see”. saw a white light in nothing, black background.

Questioned what I was seeing, like, this? Thought of typical images of god as light.

After waking I thought of the similarities to Alex Grey’s God sacred mirror painting. Similar colors.

I looked for depth in the light but it seemed kind of boring. Again, too intellectual perhaps. On reflection, was it the center of that higher self wheel?

After thinking it was boring, another light moved into my vision as if responding to my thought. I realized it had been there but I hadn’t seen it. It was so bright when I started to focus on it. I questioned that this was really what I needed to see, thought I was just making it up. I reflected on the light being there all along, but I hadn’t seen it next to the dullish moon-like first light. The bright light fell onto the dark ground next to me. It clattered and I saw it was a flashlight.

I guess I dismissed it, that is the feeling I have after waking, and felt joy at being lucid in the dream world

I took a moment to feel gratitude and amazement at this lucid experience. I remembered a show I’d seen the other day about dreaming and how the brain comes alive with activity more than at any other time. I saw that clear image of the brain and nervous system pulsing with activity, inside my body. Deep, shimmering, pervasive gratitude hit and filled me.

Similar to the end of this video.

I felt grateful for being in this state and a deep appreciation and almost affection for my body for allowing it. It felt like this state was healing me. It was that awed, blissful feeling in dreams that I desire to experience more.

I looked around and saw a lit up tunnel in the dark distance, like a tunnel for cars. I decided to try to conjure something. What popped into my conscious mind was a baby and I immediately tried to conjure one. (Odd because in waking life I don’t feel much desire to have a baby, though I love to be around them.) The attempt at conjuring was so quick, it seemed to step on the heel of the thought of a baby. I wanted to give it love and feel its love.

A cat had already been walking up to me. Small, solid, short haired. I concentrated on changing it and a baby’s light transparent image superimposed over the cat for a second but that cat wasn’t going away. I thought about learning more about dream control and gave up on the baby thought.

The cat talked in a witch’s type voice. (Funny, now I remember that I had been listening to Ken Wilber the day before this dream and I’d thought about Ken’s voice being grating and nasal, kind of like a witch.)

The cat seemed sinister.

I picked it up, being careful not to hurt it. Held it like a baby, then shifted it into a more upright position. I thought of it being like Chaos, (my loved and peculiar cat that died a few years ago,) but no, not Chaos.

The physical sensations in this dream were very obvious. The light breeze, the cat against my chest and under my hands.

The cat said it wanted a kiss in that same crackling, grinding, deep yet high witch’s voice. I wasn’t sure if it would hurt me or not. I took its face in my hand and held its mouth closed and gave it a kiss.

I remember its teeth and the feel against my lips.

I was afraid of being bitten (the only times I’ve remembered feeling intense physical pain in dreams was when I was bitten. It has happened twice.)

It was talking like it wanted to hurt things. I kind of tuned it out while I tried to decide what to do. I thought it was talking about wanting to hurt a baby and other darkness, I could hear it but I was only half-hearing and half-aware. It kept talking on and on.

At some point I flew low to the ground

That tunnel, somewhat lit, going into it. On my feet now. The cat still in my arms. Did I put it down? I think so.

Fear and darkness, though I wasn’t completely overcome by the fear. I remember looking down to the other end of the tunnel.

The dream changed

Walking slowly through an office
many people at desks in this main room
one man I identify with emotionally as I walk by is creative
he is conjuring a model/landscape of buildings on his desk that rise up slowly and gracefully

much like the Game of Thrones intro.

The young man seemed very creatively developed but he felt stuck and repressed.

I felt myself fading out of the dream slowly, into nothingness. Nothingness for a bit. I hoped I wasn’t coming out of the dream. Heard a sound, realized it was like breathing. I still felt like I was sleeping. Still. Then I tested my breath, tried to change its rhythm slightly and felt the change, felt the air going through my nose like when I meditate. damn, I’m awake.

This dream helped me put my finger on that feeling of bliss that I’ve experienced in dreams many times that is so profound and just expansive and freeing. Gratitude. And appreciation. A deeper love than egoic love, though it is kind of like the feeling of when you first fall in love and everything is vibrant and feels like you’re bursting.

So this is what gratitude is. Fuck. I want to be grateful more! LOL. I’m grateful for wanting to be grateful, even.

So strong. I’m going to practice bringing that into my walking life.

I just felt some gratitude while saying that and it warmed my stomach (where some deep emotional knots are). Gratitude. Wow. God and gratitude seem the same at this moment.

Reminds me of a woman I know who is so vibrant so much of the time. Gleeful in a grounded and beautifully feminine way. She showed me about being feminine in a positive and not fake way, truly feminine. I’d tended toward being a tom boy before that. Well, I still do but I also appreciate that exuberant feminine side.

Now I want to love. Everything. (Dammit, bring back that creepy cat!)

It feels like the gratitude for my body and brain lit up with lucidity was what I “needed to see”. A roundabout answer to a question I wasn’t sure how to ask. Being grateful, I feel in a sense like my higher self, as discussed in the thread.

Since that dream I’ve researched practices in gratitude. Tonglen and others have appeared. My main focus is bringing it to all of my life (waking, dreaming, lucid, all). Now, can I be grateful while being with that cat or other similar darknesses? Yes, I’ve experienced that to degrees. Experienced gratitude along with protective boundaries simultaneously. I don't want to get stuck in "blank gratitude" – not consciously to the extent that I’d hurt myself with it.

The emotional tone of the gratitude in the dream and that came with me into waking life is hit on in the tone of this song.

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Spoiler for Lyrics:

There is nothing in between us when we sleep
Every night the bliss begins to leak
Nothing in between us when we laugh
it’s something that our head will never grasp

It’s seen in between

There’s nothing in between your joy and mine
It’s all a lot of nectar on the vine
Joy is how my parents were entwined
and there’s nothing in between their lives and mine

We’ve seen

There’s nowhere to hide in the open Reality
Love is so wide, there isn’t a boundary
There is only one eye without any enemy
when you’ve seen in between

There’s nothing in between our skin and light
Nothing in between the wind and kite
Nothing in between our lips and grace
Nothing in between the tongue and taste

It’s seen

(Refrain)

There is nothing in between you and I
Nothing in between blue and sky
Nothing in between us and love
Nothing in between wings and doves

(Refrain)

There is nothing
in between

April 22, 2011

Notes
After forgetting my dream last night, had 3 dreams tonight, one lucid. Went to bed at around 1am, woke up several times but eventually at 1:30pm. Great dreams tonight, some of the typical weird stuff that happens in my dreams. Attempted control at the end of the lucid dream, almost succeeded, blocked by some creepy projection of myself. Very memorable at the end of the lucid, very unsettling. Reoccurring people, which I've never noticed until I started this journal, and of course my dog Riley shows up again. Motifs of weird adventures, futuristic settings, otherworldly experiences, school, etc.

Entry 009
My first dream begins in a house. It's my house, only my room specifically seems to be bigger, with a really strange wall shape. The room sits kind of like a townhouse, on the second floor of some other apartment and only loosely attached to the main house. The atmosphere inside is just like my room-- books scattered everywhere, clashing color schemes and fabrics, random nic nacs on every surface. I'm sitting by the window, looking out at the street below. There's an eclectic shop across the road, filled with antiques and dried squid hanging from the ceiling (what?). I see a friend walk into view, maybe Sejal, maybe not, I can't really remember. She waves, I wave back then open up the window and jump down to the street. We go inside the shop for awhile. There's an old woman who looks like some kind of cartoon gypsy or one of those old fortuneteller machines sitting behind the counter, watching us like a hawk from behind her round spectacles. We leave and I go back up to my room, only to find everything either gone or covered in a white sheet. My mom comes in and said she did some "cleaning" and that she's packed up all my stuff for me to go to college.

---

Another dream in similar setting to the first, only without the previous one ever happening and with the place that was my room now being a classroom. We live in some futuristic world, with tall white skyscrapers and even a couple flying cars here and there. Despite all the modernity, there are still places like the antique store with dried squid cramped along the narrow paths between buildings.

I'm walking, then I stop at a towering building meant for residential apartments. On the first floor I can see Burell, but I'm not here to see him. I am at a different floor in the building. I ring the bell and Donahue answers. There are already some students waiting inside. I get the impression that we always have school in these residential apartments for some reason, even though the classrooms are more like personal houses of the teachers than classrooms at all. We have a lesson, but I'm hardly paying attentions. My gaze keeps shifting to the wide, floor to ceiling windows which give a panorama view of the world outside, flying cars and all.

Eventually, one lesson ends and the majority of the students file out of the apartment. Only myself and a couple others are leftover, and we're all given instruments. We practice for awhile, then Donahue says something about us "being ready". Apparently there's some kind of festival around a bonfire today (something that seems strangely uncivilized for a nation with flying cars, but whatever...) and they need musicians so that the dancers have a beat. I leave, stop in at the antique-squid place again.

When I come out of the shop I look up at the sky and see it's getting dark. I have to hurry to the festival. Someone or something is with me all this time, but I'm not sure what it is. When I (we?) get to the festival, all of the other musicians have already taken their places in a horseshoe of black chairs set upon a hill. I kind of lurk in the back of these chairs, but never sit down or play. I have an ominous feeling, like something sinister is happening. I see Donahue front and center playing a tuba or something like that. The people around the fire dance.

As I'm walking back to the building, Burell sees me and intercepts. As we walk back together, I tell him I have some strange feeling about Donahue and the festival. Burell then tells me that I was right to, then reveals some dark past of Donahue's; why we have classes in his apartment, why there's a festival, why we were made to play music in the festival. When we get to the building, Burell slips in to his apartment on the first floor. As I'm standing there, staring at the place where Burell was standing only a second ago, Donahue sneaks up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. Is something wrong? He smiles.

--

Final dream. I'm lucid. I'm in some kind of futuristic world, an underground society connected by dim, floating lights and wide tunnels of whooshing air used to travel. I've just moved in to a new, comfortable home and I'm inviting people over for a party. We're playing video games, watching TV and talking; just generally having fun. Eventually, however, some neighbors come over to complain. They're already holding a grudge against me for not inviting them, and so they want to interfere in our fun. I invite them in and I get some impression that I shouldn't have. Riley is here, and she's snapping at their heels. The floor is made of large multicolored tiles that light up underneath your feet and I can see myself backing away, lighting yellows, purples, reds, as they move forward.

The dream gets fuzzy here, I think I may have temporarily lost lucidity, but I get the impression they severely beat me up and that one of them rapes me.

When the dream comes back to me, they've switched my new home in to some kind of place of indoctrination. A bunch of brainwashed kids are sitting around me, my previous party guests, all wearing bathing suits, raincoats, tutus and other bizarre clothing. Occasionally a new person tries to enter the room and join us. If we find them attractive we let them in, and if we don't we beat them to a bloody pulp. One fat little girl in a purple bathing suit tries to come in. The room tenses. There's no way we can let her in.

Just as we're about to strike, I stand up and shout "NO". I'm wearing some kind of cosplay or costume with a tutu and a crown. It's very scanty. I run to the front of the room and tell the girl to quickly leave, and she won't get hurt. This action seems to somehow snap the rest of the people in there room out of their daze. I notice the original neighbors look furious. I also notice they don't seem to have human forms any longer, but are more like purple shadows with glowing eyes. I run out of the house with them chasing me. Somehow I am faster or more quick-witted than they are, so I can easily escape. The problem is how determined they are. They never stop chasing me for even a second.

I come to one of the air tunnels people use to travel in this world. There is a slight breeze coming down the tunnel, and floating in the air are things that look like orange lifesavers used on boats. I jump into the tunnel and the wind catches me before I drop to the bottom. I'm still slowly heading to the bottom, however, and I realize that you have to grab the lifesavers for the tunnel to effectively work. I somehow control the wind with my mind to blow harder, and then I'm swinging from lifesaver to lifesaver like a monkey, the wind at my back driving me down the tunnel.

I do this for a long time, sometimes running through crowds of people at entrance to a movie theater, one time skating down an underground waterfall. I have to keep running or else I will be caught. Eventually I'm just walking through a crowd, aware that my enemies are far behind me. My lucid mind starts to wander. I remember that I need to try and control my dreams sometimes, and then I remember that one of the tasks of the month was to gather some flowers, and so I decide to create a field of red flowers. I see a door up ahead and open it. As I do a field starts to spawn ahead of me, an endless field of roses and poppies and other, unidentifiable flowers. I look back and the door is gone. I realize that there is some kind of presence with me. I look to my right and see a carbon copy of myself, grinning malevolently. "You can't control this." She says. I fall flat on my face in the field, and I can feel myself losing the dream. I try to feel the texture of the ground, like I've heard can stabilize the dream, and for a second it works. I can feel myself getting a grip back on the field. Within seconds, however, my twins face is between me and the ground and she's laughing at me. "It's already gone," she says. She's right. My eyes are flickering open, and I'm getting glimpses of my bedroom and the field alternately for a couple seconds. I try for several minutes to re-enter, but all I can see is my own face glaring at me, laughing.

I wake up.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This is a very rough draft
From the night before the night before last


Pairing Off

Going up a long curved ramp/hallway, similar to the casino on Catalina Island
At the top, people are evaluating each other as potential dates, taking turns
each successive pair going inside the large room where the dance is being held
I am the last girl to walk into the room, but I see the guy that is left through the door and I don’t like his body language or the way he’d talked to the girl. I don’t go into the room and instead turn around and walk back down.

The ramping hallway is lined with settings of a wine glass, a martini glass, and other items, repeating over and over. I look for a martini or glass of wine that hasn’t been drunk from yet as I walk down and down.
I unscrew the base of a martini glass and drink from the small, hidden bowl portion of the stem.
a man is walking up
we both think it is funny that I’m drinking from the bottom
I turn it right side up and drink from the “correct” top bowl (It didn’t spill when I’d first turned it upside down). it tastes delicious and I’m surprised. Best martini I’ve had.
I want to impress him and it looks like I’ve succeeded
we walk up together
I think I tell him about a friend (girl/potential date) he should meet

two of my girlfriends are up there and he and one of them hit it off
I’m kind of jealous but also not, I don’t think it is right for me to be with him for some reason (not the right time?)
we dance with yellow (Big Bird color) feathers arranged and held in a shield shape. shields of feathers, lol.
we shake them and are performing or practicing for people (a coach?)
6 groups of dancers. the guy, me, two girls, (and two other people?) make up our dance group

the teacher shows us how to do a yoga pose that is specific to the type of dancing we’re learning
stand on one leg, hold your right foot and press the big and pinky toes’ pads together, as well as the 2nd and 4th toes’ pads together. A might uncomfortable in the dream. I thought it was funny. While in the yoga pose, I struck a playful disco pose with my arms. It actually felt like the silly pose helped the energy align and flow. (makes me think of my PTSD and anxiety. Absurdity can be an antidote.)
I looked at the others and they were holding their foot behind them instead of in front of them so I went to switch, though it didn’t seem right to me to have my foot behind. The dream ended before I finished "correcting" my pose.

Out of the many dreams I had last night this is all I can Remember in great detail.



I had a dream about being younger although knowing I was older in a playground with a lot of other kids.

I was apparently taking 2nd grade school classes again and was at recess, I walked around the park, it was covered in wet grass and puddles, it was a little chilly. But not too much to worry about. There were colorful slides and structures on the playground so I went towards one of the yellowish blue forts and decided to play on it. but three big kids were in my way and said they wouldnt let me on and that I would never get passed them, but I did, one by one my stubborness pushed them aside and I got to the top of the slide fort, they were angry so they started to chase me . I ran all around and hid behind slides. as I was hiding I noticed my school building, it was familiar in a way I could not explain. My teacher and some kids were playing in a large puddle it was deeper than most of the kids.I looked over and to my horror the three older kids found me and were running towards me, I noticed a HUGE slide easily taller than three school buildings combined and started to climb it knowing that it would be the best place to secure myself in, also aware that I could kick any of them down if they chose to start climbing, halfway up, however them pulled on my legs and threw me down, then they started wailing on me. I lost conciousness.



2. (LUCID) I was in dark room with a couple of candle lights illuminating the room, there were two portals on either sides of the walls I fought to stay lucid using every stabilization trick I knew, but soon after wandering around the candles the dream ended.



(Lucid) After I awoke from my first lucid I decided to fall back asleep and after about 10 mins of Sp, Large gusts of wind pulled my from my bed and threw me into a new room. It was a very brightly colored house. Very clean and nice. The walls were a bright feiry orange with blue to the sides. I looked around the rooms and saw my mom cleaning like usual. I went back into my room and saw my little brother playing video games (also like usual) I felt like the dream was trying to trick me with things I was comfortable with, so that I would just accept reality. But I knew there was something different to this place. A whole nother vibe to it. I walked outside and down the stairs around me were some quaint shops and a large cathedral. The whole town was vibrant with color, but very empty. I wandered around the streets in hope of finding someone new and interesting but i found no one. I woke up soon after ( or atleast I thought I did)

I awoke in the middle of my room telling my big brother about the dreams I had just had (later noting that I had no recollection of ever telling my brother that, because he had left for california the night before, which meant that I was in a false awakening and therefore still in a dream.) Tricked by my mind, I lost lucidity and continued with the dream plot.



(Fragment)

The next thing I knew I was in a large field joining in on a huge sport that most of my classes were playing. I saw alot of kids from my school and teachers as coaches. I joined in my World Civ 2 teachers team and grabbed a lights blue jersey. The game was played with a round ball and the object of the game was to tackle anyone who had the ball for a point. I played a couple rounds of the game until it ended and socialized with some of the friends I knew how I normally would.

I woke up.

Very clear, detailed dream - hence the long journal entry.

This dream began with me talking to a friend on the the phone. She mentioned something that caught me by surprise because I didn't remember telling her anything about it. I did an RC by checking my hands and noticed one didn't have as many lines on the palm as it should. I became lucid and took the time to anchor myself to the dream by chewing some gum (Trident Spearmint <3).

I decided to try and find Catie (a DC that represents my subconscious/dream guide/whatever you wish to call it). I didn't want to walk all the way over to the front door so I opened a window and decided to jump out of it instead. The moment the window was opened, a crow flew in my room and told me I should look for Courtney (an irl friend) instead. I wasn't sure why it wanted me to search for Courtney but I thought I may as well since it was the first time a crow had spoken to me without being asked a question first.

For some reason I went downstairs and went out the backdoor of the basement suite instead of the window. Once I opened the door, the fox (I really should name it soon) appeared and followed me out. It didn't do anything to attract my attention so I just ignored, I've grown used to it showing up randomly and following me around. I'm even starting to like it's company, except when it makes me lose focus by yipping, yelping, barking, or whatever you call that sound. Anyways, instead of being in my backyard, we were in the street of some residential area that seemed strangely familiar.

We went down a couple houses and stopped at one that I somehow identified as Courtney's (although it didn't look like her's). I knocked on the door and, through the window, saw someone making their way over to answer. A girl opened the door (or woman I should say, she seemed to be slightly older than me) but it wasn't the Courtney that I'm friends with, just some DC. An adorably cute one, mind you, but a random DC nonetheless. Her face did seem familiar however but I'm not sure why. I've probably seen her in another dream or maybe seen someone who looks similar at the mall or something.

I was happy to see her and I soon got the impression that she was supposed to be my girlfriend in this dream. She was even happier to see me and greeted me with a hug that literally seemed to last hours. I noticed the faint scent of black jellybeans (which are awesome) so I guess she was wearing perfume or something. Do they even sell perfume/cologne that makes you smell like jellybeans btw? I should Google that. I managed to do a couple reality checks and a few stabilization techniques before she finally let go. It was at this point that I realized the fox had left to do something. She then kissed me, which also seemed to last for hours. I didn't need to do anything to stabilize the dream during those ''hours'' though, she had (spearmint flavored <3) gum or something in her mouth so the taste was enough to keep the dream from falling apart. We eventually made our way to her bed and did the grown-folk. =P While we were lying in bed, she started telling me something that she felt was important but I couldn't pay attention because the dream was destabilizing. I "woke up" soon after.

I was back in bed and checked the clock to see how late I had slept in. When I saw it had odd symbols on it, I realized it was only a false awakening. I did several reality checks to make sure I was dreaming, then I went back out the basement suite's backdoor (the fox didn't show up this time), and headed towards Courtney's place again. This time she was wearing a blue slip dress. Normally I don't remember what DC were wearing in my dreams but this time I did so I guess my recall's improving. Hurray for progress. We sat down on her couch and started talking about something but I can't remember what was said. The dialogue seemed to have been significant to the dream but I've never been very good at remembering conversations, I'll have to focus on improving that. The dream fell apart soon after.

I woke up and checked the clock, this time I really was awake. Turns out I had only been asleep for just under two hours but the dream felt like it lasted much longer than that.

I don't know if this dream means anything but if it does, maybe I still have feelings for Courtney (my friend, not the DC). We never really had a full-on relationship but we had something going on between us; for a short while at least.
-----
I need to remember to ask that fox a couple questions next time I see it, like why it's been following me around lately. I've got to come up with a name for it too since simply addressing it by ''the fox'' sounds weird. Also, I just had the strangest feeling of déjà vu déjà rêve (since it feels like I've dreamt of this before) while typing this out. ._.

i can still remember this because what happened inside of it
dream part1 this dream is some kind of mishmosh there is a lot of those

i had body and verbal control we were sitting at a bench in our primary school at night for some reason well we were talking at the bench we were talking about the school trip to some waterpark the night went on so we went inside the school which was a morrisons then i saw nibbler from futurama then i read a newspaper saying about a mysterious killer and nibbler teleported into the vent and went crazy and tried to kill us and i saw a portal a time portal because it was day and the waterpark jumped in it ended
part 2
i repeated the portal bit again and i started to fall, i hate that feeling and i fell on the floor and got some blood on my mouth you know the matrix yes there was blood on my lips in real life (i died so many times in my dreams it just went on now) so anyway i went into this massive water slide and as i finished i saw some children and as they got closer i saw that they were cyborgs and i started to get chased by them and then i got in a dinghy and flew away

Awake, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

The moment I see my old college campus start to appear out of the darkness, I realize, Oh, cool, a dream is starting. There are lots of multistory buildings all around me, and it's a beautiful day with a vivid blue sky and puffy white clouds. The dream is fairly vivid [and remains so throughout its entire length]. I observe that the environment around me is consistent with the environment I've observed in previous dreams set on my old college campus. [Although, now that I think about it, I think the dreams I have that are set there feel similar more than they look similar. Being in the environment always feels the same, but I think the layout, the spatial relationships of buildings, is slightly different each time. The style of the buildings is always pretty much the same, though.]

I walk along among the buildings, and eventually [possibly after a dreamskip?] find myself inside somebody’s house. The living room has been filled with chlorinated water and turned into a big, deep indoor pool. The second floor of the house is open to the living room, and has a balcony-like walkway that surrounds the living room on three sides. The water comes almost all the way up to the level of the walkway. When I see the pool, I think, This is a dream. I should be able to breathe underwater. I get into the water and start swimming down into the pool, testing this hypothesis. It proves to be correct. By consciously focusing on the knowledge that I can breathe underwater here, I can breathe underwater. While I'm swimming, I feel the resistance that one normally feels from the water when swimming, but not the wetness; I still feel completely dry. I also notice that breathing feels exactly the same as it normally does when I'm breathing air; those parts of my body don't feel any resistance from the water, whereas my skin and limbs do feel it. [I think this experience further demonstrates the same phenomenon that lies behind the nose-pinch reality check: doing something that would obstruct your ability to breathe in reality will not obstruct it in a dream, because your real body is still breathing normally.]

I resurface, then dive again, this time going all the way to the bottom of the pool. I find a small, square sticker there, part of a board game. I retrieve it and bring it to a dream character who is sitting on the walkway at the side of the pool opposite where I came into the room. He's playing the game that the sticker came from. I hand him the sticker, saying something like, “Here. This is part of your game. I brought this back for you.”

The dream character accepts the sticker and asks me to go over to the far corner of the room (near where I came in) and retrieve another, similar sticker that he dropped. I agree to do so. Before I dive under the water again, I pretend to take a deep breath and hold it, for the sake of appearances. I don't want any of the several dream characters who are around to realize that I have superhuman abilities. I dive toward the bottom corner of the pool at the far end of the room, where two walls come together at an acute angle. I find not only another sticker like the first one, but also a die, a playing card, and other, similar small objects from games. I pick them all up.

I decide to try to get back to the second floor by flying. [Apparently because I want there not to be,] There's no water around me anymore. With a short grunt, I try unsuccessfully to take off. I decide to just climb the nearby stairs to get up to the second-floor walkway.

I walk along the walkway and stop in front of the male dream character playing the game. He asks me, “What was that grunt?”

“I was trying to jump up and fly back to the second floor,” I answer.

“Why?” he asks.

I throw my handful of small game pieces at him. “Because you're a dream character!” I exclaim. [Or it might have been, “Because I'm dreaming!” I don't quite remember. The main point is that I dropped all pretense that I was a regular person with no superhuman abilities at this moment, and admitted to being the dreamer.]

A second later, my conscience kicks in. “Wait. I don't know why I did that,” I say. “That was rude. I'm sorry.”

A woman about my age with short, dark hair joins our conversation at this point. She starts off by addressing me, saying something like, “That's right. You're dreaming.” She, the game-playing DC, and I all proceed to have a long, in-depth conversation on the subject of lucid dreaming. [Unfortunately, I don't remember much of what we said. What I do recall is an overall impression that this woman was an expert on the subject, and that her attitude toward me was that of a supportive older mentor. She seemed interested in my progress and how much I had learned so far.] The dark-haired woman asks me something like, “This is your fortieth or so lucid dream, right?”

“Forty-seventh, or fiftieth, something like that,” I answer.

At another point during the conversation, another guy my age, named Andy, is also there in the room. The dark-haired woman points him out to me as another dreamer. [I had no intention of anything like that happening to me. If it did, it was completely without my desire or consent.]

Andy, the woman, the game-playing DC, and I all walk out of the building onto the coast by my university. We're facing a sea cliff with train tracks running along it. We walk along and come to the grassy, topmost level of an amphitheater, built into the land where it slopes down toward the beach. Below the grassy part are many levels of bleachers made out of a metal mesh.

“I really like floaty things,” I observe, addressing the woman. I point out that there are a lot of colorful helium balloons around, and a lot of the other people who are around are flying small, colorful kites. I have one myself.

The other DCs who are there are passing around a strange contraption. At its center is a device that has a chamber in which marijuana leaves are burning, and a fan. The fan is keeping the semi-transparent plastic garbage bag that surrounds the device inflated. The bag is there to keep the marijuana smoke in, but there is a tear in the plastic near the knot, allowing the smoke to escape at a limited rate so that one might inhale it. One of the other, female DCs in the scene comes over to me and my group and offers us the contraption. The other DCs in my group accept it first and take hits from it, then offer it to me. My immediate reaction to getting the opportunity to try marijuana is, Yay! I can do this without getting in trouble or risking the health of my real body, and if I do it, I can brag about it on the forums! [Meaning DreamViews, of course.]

I accept the blown-up garbage bag and maneuver it so that the tear in the plastic is near my face. This isn't easy to do with the fan device constantly inflating the plastic from the inside and making it move around. When I've gotten the tear as close to my face as I can, I inhale some of the smoke through my nose. It has a plant-like smell. The drug doesn't make me feel any different, nor does it change the environment around me.

My companions and I sit down on the metal mesh bleachers to watch a concert [or something like that]. As I sit down, I try to be careful not to get the string of my kite tangled up with the strings of my companions' kites.

There is a blue reusable shopping bag from Wal-Mart lying just to my left on the metal bleachers. It comes to life and starts wrapping its handles around my left arm and constricting its handles tightly, much like Devil's Snare from the Harry Potter universe. I'm not sure if this occurrence is a weed-induced hallucination or just ordinary dream weirdness. I look up and to my right at the dark-haired woman, who is sitting next to me. She looks back at me with an expression that communicates, “Yeah, this is what I was expecting would happen; how are you going to deal with it?”

I'm a little frightened by the shopping bag attacking me, but I'm still secure in the knowledge that this is a dream, so I'll be safe and sound when I wake up. I close my eyes and think to myself, Take me home. [By which I mean, “Take me back to the real world.”]

I then woke up for real, just as I had desired to do. I was amazed to discover that a full 6 ½ hours had passed since I'd gone to sleep. When I recalled my reaction to the opportunity to smoke marijuana, I laughed derisively at myself and thought, Oh, boy. I need to sort out my priorities.

-----------------------------------
Side notes:
It's certainly fitting that I dreamed about smoking marijuana on the morning of 4/20. I first learned about 4/20 from peers in college, but on a conscious level, I had completely forgotten about it until I found the “Happy 4/20!” thread on DreamViews this morning. My subconscious sure remembered, though. :-)

I've never tried marijuana in real life, so I can't compare the reality to the dream. That might also be why it didn't really make me feel any different: my brain doesn't really know what it's supposed to feel like to be under its influence. I have drunk alcohol in real life, but I haven't done so in a dream yet. If I ever do, I expect it will probably feel just like it does in reality.

I noticed something today: When I write dream journal entries, I write like a scientist. I write down what I've observed and compare my new observations to previous ones. Sometimes I draw conclusions from all these observations. Often, I perform experiments within the dream and report on their results.

This one was definitely entertaining. I quite enjoyed it.

I was in a really small community with people who I referred to as my parents though they really weren't. It was a pretty forest-y area, and quite often came under attack by a family of four bears. The attacks were always non-lethal, and almost playful if the members of the community didn't get so angry about it.

In one attack, the bears came armed with hammers (the father bear had a gun-hammer), and in a frenzy, I chased them into the forest. I eventually got lost and ended up wandering into their home.

It was somehow part tree-house, part cave, and they weren't happy I had entered their home. They tried to fight me and get me out, starting with the youngest bear, the son. He appeared to be a stereotypical cartoon bear and wore a small vest and hat. He attacked with a hammer, and I easily incapacitated him. The mother bear, dressed in only a shirt, came next, and she was dispatched relatively easily. The daughter bear was wearing a sort of fur bikini, and had a much more human face and a round black nose. She swung her hammer around, making it hard to get close to her, but I disarmed her by throwing my hammer and knocking hers out of her hands. She fled, and I chased her down, grabbing her around the waist. She fought back (rather playfully, and laughing all the while), and when I brought her back to the room where we started fighting, I set her down and the father bear (who was the most realistic and didn't wear anything) asked "Why are you in our home? Why won't you leave us alone?"

I replied that it was because they started attacking us, and I just got caught up the moment. We came to some sort of agreement, and they helped me build a rocket ship to leave their home. It was probably the cave segment, being deep underground, and requiring some serious effort to get up from there.

Flash forward about three months (I actually watched a montage of us building it) and the rocket is done. I launch out of the bears' home and come up in the middle of my little community. It's winter now, and my family is remodeling the house. For some reason, everyone is out and about and looking really sad. I walk up to my dad, and he says to go get ready for a party. I walk up to my house and the front door is partially painted and hung crooked in the door frame. I open it and walk upstairs, accidentally brushing against a wall and getting wet paint on my shirt.Then, I get undressed shower. It's about here that I wake up.

I've just realized that the construction of the house at the end of the dream is similar to that of my grandfather's condominium. Altogether a quite entertaining dream!

[INDENT][RIGHT][SIZE="1"][COLOR="#000000"]21.04.2011[/COLOR][/SIZE][/RIGHT]
[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Black"]Figures, This Had To Be A Dream...[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="1"][COLOR="#000000"](DILD)[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="#000000"]NON-DREAM[/COLOR] [COLOR="#800080"]DREAM[/COLOR] [COLOR="#00008B"]LUCID[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR="#000000"][/COLOR][COLOR="#000000"]I was sitting down on a bench with a girl I knew in the dream. I also had the ability to think about dreams I had previously that night, but the dreams I remembered in the dream, I forgot when I got up, either way, good ability.

[/COLOR][COLOR="#800080"]I was on the bench, talking and laughing with the girl, she appeared to be my best friend in the dream. [/COLOR][COLOR="#000000"](That role is open in real life too...) [/COLOR][COLOR="#800080"]In the dream I didn't love her, she was just a friend. We were talking about what we did on some sort of school trip we had not long ago. I apparently had a few funny mess-ups in the high rope course.

I then thought for a bit, "....Wait....who is this girl...?" I did a nose pinch and [/COLOR][COLOR="#00008B"]realised I was dreaming. I then went and moped for a bit, while thinking, "Of course this is a dream, like I could actually have a friend to talk too..." After a few minutes of moping I eventually remembered to do something a bit more interesting, I rubbed my hands on the stone ground to stabilize the dream.

I walked away to get a grip on my surroundings and saw a girl, I was thinking if I know her in real life, or if she really means anything. I was thinking how she appeared in every dream so far tonight.[/COLOR][COLOR="#000000"](Remembering dreams like this in lucids could prove to be useful)

[/COLOR][COLOR="#00008B"]I went and talked to her for a bit, I can't remember what we talked about though, she asked me if she looked nice but I didn't really answer. If I recall, she was wearing a red dress with some gold highlights, and had brown wavy hear, similer to mine, but longer. I can't remember much past this. [/COLOR][COLOR="#000000"]

Sorry if my DJ bores you, dear readers...[/COLOR][/INDENT]