non-lucid

I dreamed I was lying in my bed tired and had an iPad mini in my hands that I put on the nightstand next to me, except the nightstand was my radiator for some reason so the iPad mini melted and broke apart like sugar.

Post

I was listening to the album L.Y.F by Hong Kong Express before going to sleep.



After falling asleep, I had a dream that I had a small role in the sequel of Chungking Express (1994). I was sitting at a table in the café from the original film and I rested my head on the table as I was so tired in real life that I was even tired in my dream.
In the background, there was music playing that sounded like a mix of HKE and Aphex Twin.
The dream had the same green-ish colour scheme as the L.Y.F album cover.

I've had a really bad recall the past days. Pretty frustrating.

I'm by Håkanssons' house and I'm vacuum-cleaning the floor in the room to the left of the entrance. John is also cleaning upstairs. A big high tech screen is showing up on the wall and I see a brain hologram in neon green color in darker shades. A voice is telling me that she is going to explain why I hear voices in my dreams. The two brain-halves move apart and I hear a certain frequency (Not certain). She tells me that I can experience sounds because of how the brain-halves move apart and together. The brain-halves move together and stand next to each other but on the wrong sides. There is a new hologram head to the left.

I'm on a train with dad. I'm wearing a towel but I'm pretty much naked. I look around and see some persons to my right from last year's upper class in nature. They are half naked too. I'm wearing some kind of underwear but I'm feeling exposed either way.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some Latin America country in the 1900s. I am friend of some people who want to start a revolution. They kill the prime minister. Then the counter-revolutionaries kill one of them. They fight back by attacking people at the burial of the vice-president and kill a few more government people. Some of them are also killed on the spot. The surviving dignitaries decide to bury all victims immediately on graves dug up at the cemetery, because they don't want this incident to be known. Meanwhile, I am in charge of taking my surviving friends to an orphanage, where they'll hide out. But on our way there, we are spotted and there is an attempted assassination of us all. Shots are fired, but no one dies. We get to the orphanage and we shut the doors and gates behind. We are expecting a few more rebels to come, but the other side is now entrenched at the other side of the street, ambushing us, so it becomes a challenge. Every time I open the door for someone to come in under fire, I need backup fire. Our enemy keeps delaying the decision to invade the place because of the kids. They don't want to kill the kids in the process. But eventually they devise a plan taking advantage of some older kids, who already work as apprentices somewhere in the outside world. When they are returning and we open the door for them, a bunch of the government soldiers push their way in and start shooting. I hide behind a column and then between the column and a wall and they don't see me. When they all been through the door and deeper inside, I manage to sneak out and disappear in the street with the crowd. My plan is to reach out to another rebel group at another hideout to get their help.

Though I am writing this DJ entry today, though this really happened a few weeks ago. It was actually an accidental MILD, (as the title states) and I was thinking about how my friend and I were biking to Subway for dinner, (which we did IRL earlier that day) then I got so tired to where I fell asleep. But instantly, my thoughts carried over to my dream world, inserting me into an accidental MILD. This is what happened in the accidental MILD: I was riding my bike with my friend, then I was crossing the road with my bike, and suddenly, a car driving at an extremely fast pace hit the back of my bicycle and sent me flying. I was so close to becoming lucid!! After that, I woke from my dream and my body jerked due to how real the car hitting me felt. Quite a scary one.

1st March 2021

Fragment:

I'm in the kitchen with the intent of cutting up some ginger root. I do that, or chop it up, not sure. I want to feel its scent and get my nose right up to it, but I don't really get much of it.

H is nearby and questions what I'm doing or something. I think H may be concerned, perhaps because I'm not using a chopping board. For some reason I'm doing this at the countertop area under where the microwave is.


2nd March 2021

Scraps:

Dream about drawing, but not sure what or what media. Another vague dream, about Supernatural; me and H were supposedly the Winchester brothers.

Fragment:

I am at my old home, with H, in the staircase area of the apartment building. H goes up by lift and I was supposed to come with but I hesitate because I notice the neighbours' door to be open. I am concerned, wondering if they're dead or if something's happened, so I go in and have a brief look around. At this point I become aware that I don't have a mask on, so instead I pull my t-shirt (red?) over my face as a covering.

Without going further than the hall, I look into the kitchen and see a lady there. She looks at me oddly at first, I explain why I came in and she is grateful for my intent; we then both say goodbye to one another politely and I leave; I think she or I close the door now. I now go to use the lift.

(recall gap)

I'm at some wedding now, H is by my side and some members of my family are here. H is disappointed they are using an electronic organ instead of a traditional one. I get the feeling this area is at the top of the building.

---

Notes:
- In waking reality we had left the ginger on that location after buying it and it just stayed there since then.
- Oddly enough, later that day I ended up using a bit of it to make a curry, but until I actually came to doing it, I hadn't been expecting to do so. Perhaps it would have been a good time for a RC too, but I didn't realise the connections until later.

27th February 2021

Fragment:

(was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With dad and uncles, near their hometown, looking for a place to lunch. They tell me there is a place where they have vegan empanadas, but on arrival the restaurant employees try to convince me to eat fish and they have nothing remotely vegan, so I am upset. We all hear a big noise of planes in the sky, something beyond normal, so we all go outside to the town square and look up to the sky. It's cloudy and we can't see anything. Almost feels like we're at war and we will be bombed. I honestly start feeling afraid. Then one plane comes down through the clouds and starts making strange maneuvers at very low altitude. Actually it looks more like a UFO, not like any plane we know. It's triangular, but not solid, more like a tube structure with two cylindrical deposits on each side and a kind of spear in the front. It hovers over the square and seems like it is scanning us. Then makes loops and plunges into the middle of the people, almost killing some with the spear in the front. We are starting to think this thing is trying to kill us.

I am like in Brussels, but not the actual city I know, more like a conceptual version of it. My mom is visiting me. She is upset, because she saw a puppy in danger in the middle of a road nearby but could do nothing to help him. We get on a bus and we pass by a roundabout close to that location and we see the puppy innocently playing in the middle of the traffic. Then I spot two other puppies on another street and then more dogs. Seems there are a bunch of stray dogs around here. Something I had never seen in Brussels before. There is nothing we can do with so many dogs.
I then go stay at some guest house. My mom is not with me anymore. The place is really posh and all guests are highly educated civilized people. I feel a bit awkward among them, but all the people are nice to me and I make good friends there. Then some lady in a white suit, played by Kate McKinnon, comes by one day and gathers some of us. I learn that some of my friends have extraordinary powers and she is coming to ask them to join forces, Avengers-style. I am also being called in. I am ok with that, but she wants us to leave immediately, and has a van outside waiting for us. I claim that I still have to pack my things and need time. She says there is no need for that, snaps her fingers and a servant comes with a small trolley with stuff for me. I claim that's not even 1/10 of my stuff. She says it is sufficient. I argue I won't leave without my stuff, at least I need to take more than a couple clothing options and a few more shoes, if we're going on missions around the world. Also, I need my gadgets and all my personal irreplaceable items. So they allow me to go pack, if I am fast, but then I take ages.... I find a bunch of food rotting in a lunchbox I forgot about, lots of half consumed chocolate bars. I take it all to the kitchen and start throwing things away. Then a couple of my friends who don't know I am leaving, invite me to some things and I have to decline and explain why. I offer them the chocolates. And then I think "it's been a lot of time and I still haven't packed a single clothes, the others must be gone by now".

Jamie

Had a brief dream with Jamie in it but can't remember what it was.

Dog


Had a dream where I was telling Jamie something about These people in Didsbury who helped me out a lot back in 2012. A nice couple. Suddenly was transported to a dream with them. Jamie wasn't there. We were in a bus and stopped at some school. A dog was with me, maybe my dog. We went near the people by the school, but they also had a dog so I kept holding my dog by the collar since I had no leash... Decided to go back to the bus. Found my seat and noticed the bus was halfway merged with the rock of the hill it was sitting on. Strange....

Fake Family


Was in a house with people that seemed british. They look like the people from the Show I was watching on netflix, British crime shows and stuff. They claimed to be Jamie's family, but none of their looks, hair or eyes were even similar. They were asking me how I knew her I mentioned I used to work with her and what year, we were friends I said but now because of her BPD, She reached a point in her mind Where it's like I don't exist. A little girl in the family had gold locks in her hair and she said something like like, "yeah Jamie said it's like God pouring Darkness into her." That's no the God I know. He wouldn't do that. Not sure what happened after But that's all I recall.

2/27/20

I am in an ice cream place located in a gas station of sorts. There are many treats some infused with cannabis, I gather I am in colorado. While ordering I befriend some people and they offer to give me a ride to where I am going, I'm like 40 min from where I am staying. It is night time and I cannot see out of the car. We joke while he drives and is constantly turning around looking at me and the other girl in the passenger seat. He suddenly drives over an embankment and we plow through an angled corn field as we fall down, the stalks speedily crushing under the cars weight as it falls. We fall for a while as we all scream and feel mostly weightless in the vehicle. We hit the water with a sudden jolt. It is dark and murkey.

Fast forward we are being called into a unique court room. The girl who was in the car with us died. The driver is being held responsible. I am just a witness because I rode in the back. The court seems to be a dual between two large creatures. They are controlled with your mind when you hook up to some alien looking umbilical cord. I have flashbacks of the accident while I sit in the courtroom and the session begins.

I break through the windshield by kicking hard with my feet. The car/red suv is sinking in the murkey muddy water. I drag her and him out, her arm is missing just above the elbow, I can tell it's bad. He doesn't seem too injured so he helps. We all swim together trying to keep her above water. The cliff is high and flat walled. Straight flat segments of wall connect together as they meet the water. We must have fallen a couple hundred feet.

I am sitting in the court room wearing a hospital gown. My family is in the audience. The room is blue and golden with accents along the ceiling. There is a case being made. The boy who drove is being charged with recklessness homicide. The girls family is there too, they are scornfully sad. I gather the only way to win is to have your large creature defeat the other creature. I am not being charged but I am in control of one of the creatures. They are sentient but are also slaved to the brain hookup. One is large and grey, with a long backwards sloping head to a point, no mouth but deep dark recessed eyes, it stands with a hunch almost gorilla like but is incredibly muscular, elegant looking and smooth. The other is colored like a hornet. It has a swollen head and insectoid body, with long dagger like appendages. It stands at the opposite side of the room facing it's companion. I still feel traumatized. The accident feels too recent. I have fresh wounds and bruises all over my body.
I don't talk to anyone.

Even though the water is murky it still feels like there are waves crashing against us. I am the only one who can barely touch the bottom as the three of us hobble to the rocky waters edge. There doesn't seem to be anywhere to climb up. A flat wall against the pounding water. It begins to look familiar to me. I remember seeing this before. Some of these sections of walls have hidden doorways in them I think. I see them open in my mind's eye. We approach the wall and she begins to faint, she is losing a lot of blood, I just can't tell because it is dark and I only barely see her injuries. I press on the side of the rock wall with my free hand, it becomes a sort of doorway and cracks open with dim light on the other side.

I feel the device hook up to the back of my head. I swirl at the sensation. Someone in the room is trying to sell me a $400 pen. It doesn't look so special to me. My perception is now split in the room. I see out of both sets of eyes. One taller and standing where the larger creature is. One small and weak in the front where everyone is staring. We don't fight. Rather there is an internal dialogue now. There is an alien debate occuring in my head. They want to know what to do with us.
We aren't supposed to be here.

26th February 2021

Fragment:

(didn't make enough effort to recall after initial awakening)

I'm in a town or city of some kind. I am trying to find presidents, from Russia and the USA.

In a parking lot, I see a limousine and check there, but they're not there? Or maybe the Russian one is.

Fragment:

Another dream, with H. I'm sitting at a desk and H is standing.

H sort of slaps or flicks a mug that is on top of a speaker or a screen and it flies my way with a rotating motion and lands perfectly in my hands as I sort of try to catch it. I become upset in some way at H for doing this.

---

Notes:
- It's not the first time I've had a dream about politicians, though because of the vague recall I can't really say how they related to me in the dream.
- The second fragment probably relates to one of those things I can imagine H doing on a whim, either for fun or as a prank of sorts.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Visiting some island and something is off. I am heading to the local library and the streets are deserted. When I get to the library, I am almost kidnapped by aliens. I hide behind the shelves but they kinda mock me saying they can see me using infrareds. Some lady comes out of nowhere and rescues me, She takes me to a decontamination shower saying that I got radiation because I contacted with the aliens. Then she takes me to an area not yet taken by the aliens and she reaches out to the police.

My foot hurts but I still go on a trip to the US with some friends. One of them is doing a documentary about the health system and takes us all to a hospital to inquire about costs. We use my own case to ask how much they'd charge for an appointment and right away they ask for $1000 just for just a blanket to wrap me up as I await consultation. I then show my foot to a doctor and it is swollen, two small toes feel numb and my veins are red and popping. I am freaking out that I can't afford treatment but also afraid I can't go home like this either. The doctor says I seem to have a liver problem and I am like "What? I think I just broke a bone."

Again at a doctor office, but for some exam in which I need to fully undress and they have no other place for me to do it, but at the waiting room. I do it, but then spot some old pervert trying to film it on his phone. I yell and take his phone away but other people are sympathetic with the old man, who claims he was just messaging his family.

2/24/20

I am in a dinosaur park with friends and family. While walking through a field we see what appears to be a dinosaur trap laid out on the ground, with weighted wires going into the trees, there are toy mini dinosaurs and torn up sheets in the bed of a larger metal frame. We hear kittens meowing from inside but cannot see anything.

The park is very beautiful with large prehistoric trees and shrubbery all around. My cat is running around unleashed and I gather she has wandered too far. Suddenly a large trex with purple and orange colouring starts chasing us from across the field, it's roar echoing our innards. I call my cat loudly and she runs towards us just barely in front of the rex. She makes it to me while we are running and I scoop her up to run towards the treeline. I tell my family we need to get in the dense folliage to escape. We barely make it to safety as the rex tramples the trees behind us. We begin to walk down a path, we tell a worker about the rex we see, but they are also a dinosaur and smile with big teeth.

We are now in a period based town. Everyone wears decorated corsets and top hats. But there is still a dark like and partially gothic tone. I opt for a train ride and leave my family behind in the town to look around and shop. The train is mainly populated by witches and druids. They are all dressed period, but with pagan garb and accessories.

I befriend a girl who is quite short with almond eyes and brunette short hair. She is coy and playful while also being witty and fiercely forward. We get closer and she reminds me she has a boyfriend regularly, it doesn't phase me in the least as I can tell she doesn't care. He seems like some ringleader with small dreads and bright blue contact eyes who is never around her. I gather she is a vampire of sorts, pale skin, morose demeanour yet predatory in her desires. We venture around the train between the different ornate cars from time to time. Taking in the sights of the passing countryside, sharing meals, and playing games. We spend hours laying in bed remembering our lives and gently caressing each other, nothing sexual, just sensually emotive. She tells me she doesn't like what happens to her at night. Unphased at thinking she is a vampire I ask is it because her teeth get longer? I then tell her I always found the taste of blood to be unquenching. To let her know I am unbothered by her condition, and can relate to her. She hardly looks at me but I know she is sad for some reason. We form a strong bond on the trip, perhaps 2 days have elapsed and the journey is coming to a head.

She sits in a booth table along one of the carriages. There is suddenly a great drama stirring the passengers. The people of the car are now united against me. They threaten me with dark magic. I tell them to do their worst as I am unafraid. At once a dozen of them put out their hands and begin making noises with their mouths like they are casting spells. Nothing happens and I shout they are all made up. The train has stopped at a gift shop town with many rooms to purchase trinkets and accessories. I step out on the platform as the witches are still trying to curse me. I outstretch my hand and shout with strong forward intention "Now That Is Enough!" A bright light flashes engulfing the entire area.

As the senses return, it seems the dark gothic vibe of the people in the car has been lifted. Some people file out of the train with completely white eyes, they are pale and nude, almost stupified. The dozen or so who were dark are now stripped barren and pale. I ask someone on the platform what just happened. She tells me that they saw their real leader and were blinded by the truth of it. I ask who they saw. She points to the woman standing next to me. Who is middle aged and still wearing period dress. She smiles and looks at me knowingly. I tell her it is up to her to be good now. She nods in approval and promises to guide in positivity instead of darkness.

I return to the train for the journey back and walk from car to car looking for my companion I spent the trip with. She is no longer in the booth she was sitting in before. I wonder if the darkness lifting has affected her at all. I see her 'boyfriend' sitting off in a corner with some friends. He speaks in normal modern dialect and I gather his curse has been lifted as well, he is no leader and remembers nothing of his previous dark personality. I talk to him briefly and he doesn't recognize me.

I begin frantically going from carriage to carriage looking for her. She really is nowhere to be seen, I didn't see her get off the train and it doesn't make sense she wouldn't be traveling back. It begins to occur to me I may never see her again. A great grief overcomes me as I slump into the nearest chair, just staring into nothingness while I feel my eyes swell. It can't be I think. I knew she had feelings for me. I felt them. I remember the feeling of her skin. Her smile. The sweet smell of her hair. I sit in silence the entire return journey. People merrily chat around me as the mood is now lighter and people laugh while they tell stories of their adventure. I talk to no one.

When we arrive at our destination back where we began, everyone unloads and files into a large brightly lit dining hall, it is period decorated and fancy with many carved fixtures in the walls and chandeliers. I see my family come through large ornate glass doors into the hall to join me. I am sullen and depressed from losing my companion. We all sit at a large round table with white linens and fancy gold place settings. They are still dressed in period clothes holding accessories they picked up in their own respective adventure. They ask me what's wrong. I tell them I am exhausted, it was a 2 day train journey and I just don't feel well. They are concerned but allow me my space as I seem disengaged. I sit calmly not facing the stage, my eyes still heavy and glistening as I fight the nostalgia of my time with her.

Just then a worker walks onto the stage and gets everyone's attention. He thanks all of us for our participation and hopes we all enjoyed our journey on the express adventure. People cheer. He then says he'd like to introduce us to the one who made everything possible. Please give a round of applause everyone to our very own,
Brand new Model 2 Android!
People cheer louder and whistles can be heard.
I turn around to look and see her.
Out of period dress with a skin tight bodysuit and hair styled even shorter to her head.
It was her.
The truth of it hits me like a pile of bricks. I see her eyes avoiding me in the crowd as she glances around the room. Barely smiling she acknowledges the recognition in a sheepish manner. She won't even look at me. I am in complete disbelief. How could I not have known? I stare wantingly but realize everything I knew wasn't even real. The dream fades as I watch her face and the applause becomes quieter and quieter.

Jamie

Just a flash of a memory of her. Can't recall exactly what.

Walking

Was walking with my brother and C into a haunted house attraction. Some guy was stalking behind us, one of the workers and said, "By the end of this walkthrough. You 2 will be broken up." Indicating to C and my brother. I said to c. "Yeah didn't he say that to us last year when he thought we were a couple.?"

Slightly lucid

I was walking around with my brother and went into some abandoned house. I was floating around previously and become lucid. This was low level. Didn't remember any goals. ?Just walked through the house trying to conjure up people. It wasn't working. There was a shadow man in a dark corner, I went into a different room but it was all black causing the dream to end.

22nd February 2021

Dream:

I'm in a hotel or apartment building. I'm on a floor above ground level but don't know which; I am walking towards a lobby-looking hall, with elevators and I want to go to the ground floor. There's this group of four black guys in their late teens, they seem to be shadowing me but I don't let it bother me even though they look like they could easily be trouble if they wanted to.

I let them know I've seen them by looking at one of them in the eye, through a mirror showing us all. The mirror is between the elevator doors. None of us speak, that I can recall and they're just doing their own thing behind me at any rate, some kind of non-verbal communication.

(recall gap)

I'm outside, in the streets of a town. It's night time? I have awareness of Covid, but I'm not wearing a mask. It bothers me, but for some reason I make no effort to find one. Throughout most of the dream onwards this bothers me a bit on some level.

At some point I meet up with M, whom I haven't seen in years in waking life. I remember he has a car? Like an SUV or something. There's something about my aunt B too.

I walk around town, it's a bit like there's some kind of annual fair on. I am finding these little areas where there's some kind of more conventional role playing game involving furries in fursuits. But they look much more realistic, like they're actually their characters. One of them tells me they will actually pay me if I participate in the games wearing a fursuit myself. I think to myself I wouldn't mind, but I don't have one and would likely end up feeling embarrassed anyhow.

(recall is vague for the following two paragraphs)

At one point I'm climbing some stone stairs. It's sort of outdoors, but under some kind of natural rock formation? There's these two statues... I've seen them elsewhere in the dream. They look like they're flowing with some magical energy, it's a deep blue colour. The statues are damaged, incomplete. I remember thinking they're supposed to be in some museum somewhere, but this is actually their original location. This is a different place from the town? In Russia somewhere, I somehow understand. This is where they were first discovered.

The statues are from ancient Greece, but from a more mythological period or something. They look like the lower bodies of some serpentine creatures, scaly. The heads are missing and one statue practically only has the very bottom of it left. I remember going past the statues while thinking about the whole thing, then I go up some more stone stairs. There's one of those role playing games again here, I forget what happens but it's some kind of murder mystery and I'm greeted by a furry who is dark and almost crawling at ground level, and he seems eager for me to take part in the game.

Eventually I come across an attraction which takes place in a castle. I remember telling M I would try it out and that I'd let him know later all about it. You have to queue up for the attraction but initially there's just me and one other person.

A heavy wooden door opens and allows us in. Inside, I immediately gain a HUD and there's some semblance to Legend of Zelda. I grab a knife, it looks toy-like and oversized somehow. I use it to attack some creatures. I then find a mace, in a similar style. My ally goes first through the next door. A stone armour golem tries to ambush him from behind but I hit it with the mace on the head, making enough noise my ally notices and doesn't get ambushed. We defeat the golem.

We're now in a big room. It's church-like, cathedral-like, even. There's a Dark Souls feel to it. A boss is in the middle, we try fighting it but it deals a lot of damage.

(memory intrusion?)

Something about WoW, a group of players fighting a boss. One player is a monk tanking and rolling around and healing himself but not quickly enough.

Then, we have eventually lost our battle with the boss in the church-like room. I am outside now and at the queue again? There's a lot more people here waiting this time. They're all younger than me and some look very impatient and like they'd be a bit rude.

(recall gap)

I'm on some castellated bit, across from the castle with the game attraction in it. There's other people here too, sat at rudimentary and makeshift artillery things that have a fantasy feel to them. I try one, but it's broken and does nothing. Sunset? I recall artillery from these guns going into the core of the other castle, I remember they were supposedly targetting the boss and providing support this way.

I forget the rest but the dream ended soon after.

---

Notes:
- I feel the chronology of the dream is messed up versus what it actually was, but I didn't try to fix it.

- There's something very personal to this dream about the dichotomy of me separating my life into separate organised areas of thought. Yesterday I had been thinking of consolidating some things.