non-lucid

Aug 27 2018

In my first dream I was in a compound of some sort with steel floors, walls, and ceilings. It reminded me of the early Fallout games. There were some doors with alternating red and green lights on them (stop and go, not Christmas). The ones with lights felt like they held danger behind them. There were some NPCs but none got too close and I think I could see grey status bars/informational popups when my vision hovered over them. There some connecting tunnels with walls that were like large fractured thin chitin or shell material. I kept having to go the back way through this facility so I would knock down the barriers, but each time I came back that way, they would regenerate and I'd have to knock them down again.

The next dream, I was in a bomb testing facility. My fiance, parents, and I (along with some anonymous coworker DCs) were standing atop a huge white metal ball-shaped plant. There was an "exhaust tube" a few feet away and each time the bombs would be detonated, a huge faux mushroom cloud would emerge. But it was as if the mushroom cloud itself was the bomb, rather than their being some actual explosion. I went third-person and showed myself leaning my face very close to the exhaust jet as another one exploded, and said "It's perfectly safe!" My third-person view changed and I was high up looking down on the clouds. They were wisping away sort of like those leaf tornados that spin up on the sidewalk sometimes. These wisps would carry on for a short while on the desert dunes.

Finally, I was in a large white building reminiscent of the fellowship hall at my childhood church, mixed with the middle school building at my old school. In the back there was a kitchen, going forward a connecting hallway, and through there was a huge white room. To the right there was a large open hallway, and all the rooms had high ceilings.

I'm sliding around on my socks through the different rooms on the white tile floors. I see one of my neighbors, and some girls from high school. They are all happy that L (fat girl from high school) was made prom queen. I suggest a toast with Nestle Drumstick ice cream cones. I think I toasted to "taking a bite before you toast".

A dying land...

I was going to check out a place but first I needed to go there by car and then switch to a cable railway. But on the way I was being chased by a dog. It tried to bite me, I told the car to go faster even thought it went a bit slow when going over the hills. The landscape looked like it was dead, all the plants, grass and trees all looked brown and boring. No leaves no nothing. I tried to push away the dog and told the car to go even faster and so it did. But soon there was a cat as well... and soon more animals to follow. When I came to the cable railway I met another person who told me that it was almost near impossible to go to another isle. I didn't listen and went anyway. Soon the cable railway was supposed to go into a tunnel but it was blocked with mud underneath a tree. I tried to dig my way in there but soon the animals would appear and I panicked. I closed my eyes and was hoping I would wake up.



Unpopular foster kid

I was in a foster home with my sisters. There were other children as well. One of them mention an amusment park which of course my little sister wanted to go to as soon as she heard about it. Before checking my wallet I told her that we could go, she was really excited but I noticed that we didn't have enough money for us both. So half way there I turned back and asked for money but no one wanted to lend me so I entered the toilet. I was in there for quite some time before going out. When I walked out from the foster home I noticed it had gotten dark and I was no longer in need of sunglasses. On my way back to the other children, they came one by one and told me that I was way to late and it was my fault that they never got to the amusment park. My little sister cried and told me she hated me and she even refused to talk to me. She disappeared into the mists.



Famous Woman Killed

I was walking on a beach when people caught my attention. They were looking at the birds, holding there wings and trying to make them run away from. The ocean instead. I kept on walking and soon I found a ring. It was really pretty with blue stones on it. I put the ring in a blue high heeled shoe. Then I found a pink, green and so on rings and shoes that I did the same with. I soon realized that it was a crime scene. I found out that the woman was blonde because of the hair samples on the weapon and basically everywhere. There were also shoes and clothes of a man laying in the sand.
I figured that the woman and the man had a drink of wine because of the bottle laying in the sand. They had a quite romantic evening because of all the candles. It went wrong somewhere when the man, probably drunk, went all insane and killed her. But when I told my theory for the policeman he started to yell at me and threw the wineglass on me. Scared, I walked away and went to the victim’s house. She was a very famous woman and film director. She had made at least 30 movies were all women were strong and independent. She was truly loved by many women but hated by men. I searched through her house and found bees. I ran outside with the bees in a box and left them outside. Then I just ran away.

How to drive?

Needed to learn how to drive a car with a baby seat in it. So first I practiced with a bike but I needed that seat so I went to a doll store but couldn’t find one. Contuined walking around in that building and found an art gallery. Both my sisters were sitting there in a dark room with their iphones. I damaged a carpet before I started to rip off a piece of the wall. Underneath there was pictures of EXO. I even went to the blinds and so I could look outside the window. But even there on the window glass there were even more pictures. But when I saw a person outdoors I would let the blind slide down again.

Time to Join the Military

It was time for me to join the military like all the other women. All the men were already out in a War and soon we’d join them. But my mom was a bit sneaky and hided my uniform so I became late enough not the be able to cut off my hair. When I tried to find my uniform tho, I found a lot of toys and such that I played with when I was a kid.

The Shadow Court

I was walking in something that seemed like an abandoned graveyard in the middle of a forest. I felt drawn to an old looking house with many small windows. When I came closer to it, I noticed big shadow figures looking like a weird combination of many different animals. They seemed to talk to either other before they turned to look at me. I was being led to the door of the house. Before I opened the door I saw a note that was from Baekhyun, but I didn't have the time to read it since the shadows wanted me to go in. Inside they all showed me something really scary on the wall. They couldn't talk but instead they made a shadowplay. I remember that I glanced over to the windows and wanted to go outside but I was forced to be there since I was accused for something but I'm not sure for what reason.




Note: Baekhyun is a Kpop star, he is an EXO member.

Non-dream stuff - woke up earlier than 10 a couple of times but got up at about 10:10. Was having a non-lucid but some details are missing.

---

Dream:
I remember that this was the start of a transition between two dreams, and I was walking to a gravel car park. It was day, and I had a backpack, full of stuff, whatever it was. Then in the car park were two of my old school friends. At first they didn't notice me because of the distance, but I hoped they would because they were walking away from the car park in my general direction but I also wanted to leave my backpack in their car.

As I approached, I remember I was struggling with walking; it felt like it took a long time to get to them and they had at least spotted me. They walked back a few paces with me to their car, which looked like the car my dad has in waking life. One of my friends opened the boot and I dumped my heavy black backpack in there, remembering I still had some lessons that day, so I took out a couple of my pencil cases, ones which in waking life I use to keep pens and pencils separately and that I've always used.

Then there was either a transition or it was implied we walked somewhere else.
We were in an old building, ruined. There were more people, and now this was some sort of game. Me and my two friends ran out of the building first and it looked like it was some sort of hunger games/battle royale thing, so the three of us had an advantage for getting out first and we went through areas of a ruined city. I remember seeing our health numbers, 64, 40 something and another. I spotted some monkeys or something and decided to make them friendly with us; my friend asked what the point was, and I explained that as the other people came by, the monkeys would attack them and weaken them, without putting us at risk.

Then the rest of the groups started arriving in a scattered manner. I grabbed a stone and watched each person cautiously. Many of them went by ignoring me, running and looking for things to use. I went past a girl with a dog, that initially was on a lead, and then the lead vanished. The girl went one direction down some steps and the dog went another direction, where I came from.

Then there was some sort of flat area lower from where I had been, and everyone was here now. In a way it was like people had a short field of vision, like they couldn't see how close I was, like how ridiculous stealth can be in some video games. I remember the stone I held was limestone square cobble; it had a very sharp edge. I slashed a girl on her naked back and prowled away; the girl became complaintative to the rest of the people something like "how am I going to win now?!" with some sort of moody attitude.

The slash I'd inflicted on her was quite deep along the spine, but in retrospect she didn't seem to struggle or feel too much pain about it. I remember as I prowled around the area that these people all looked like former classmates or were simply random dream characters. My two old friends, I couldn't spot anywhere.

Then I remember I cut two other people, on their shoulders and arms. Not as serious, more like scratches. I seem to remember either everyone was naked or something. I think this was inconsistent in the dream.

Then there was a group of 5 or 6 older adults, in their 40s, 50s, 60s. They stood straight and graciously at one end of this area and one, a white, large lady, barked some complaints she had about something. Another, a black man, disagreed with her and said something about mental illness, and the reality of it. The comments were all related to the "game".

---

Notes:

• In this dream sequence, my old school friends would probably have been the best cue for RCing. I have not seen or spoken to them in several years now.
• I think that to make the monkeys friendly with us I had given them something they could eat, though I can't remember what.
• Through the whole second part of the dream I was mostly calm but in that mode where one observes everything very carefully as if anyone could be a threat. It's a basic instinct feeling, which is not surprising given the dream's context.
• I'm not sure why I cut the others with less force than that first girl; I remember the cut on her spine looked a vivid red. I think I felt like perhaps I'd caused too much harm, even if I should be concerned about my own "survival". I could have just killed any of them, but I didn't, and I don't know why.
• I think the man at the end was making a point that conflict could make us mentally ill. That's how I felt about it, somehow.

It's a couple of days past my 5-year LD practice anniversary. It's still a bit of a struggle coming back from the events of the past few years. And there are very positive waking life things going on, which also distract from dreaming a bit. But I'm focusing on recall and increasing mindfulness, and I'm sure I'll return and surpass my former glory

(earlier)
+ bus/girls I'm on a bus walking down the center aisle. Everyone is supposed to get off now, but there are some girls sitting still on the bus. I know that they are staying behind because they want to have some fun ST with me. I'm trying to figure out how I can make an excuse for us all to stay on the bus and I'm hanging back but I'm a bit nervous about the chaperones discovering us.

+(f) GP says he used to be fatter

+ catering in the kitchen. There is a big event going on and the kitchen is full of trays of food, very tasty looking, people are moving quickly around, I'm trying to see which tray I can take some bites from but things are moving and changing. I'm then sitting at a high table on a stool and there is a skewer of some kind of meat I'm holding, and the chef is holding a blow torch to it and I'm rotating it around so my fingers don't get burned but it is really hot. There is not much food left after all, I feel disappointed. The caterers are musicians, or the event is being catered for musicians.

(later)

+ prepping for the trip, colorful toys, whipped cream. I have on a t-shirt and shorts, I wonder if this will be enough for the trip, I know I've packed jeans. I'm standing in a stall in a line of stalls like beach dressing rooms, with a fairly large space open under the wall to the next stall. I look down on the ground and I see a large pile of colorful children's toys has spilled over into my stall around my feet. Bright red, yellow, orange, things with big round white poka-dots. I think people with kids have to really carry a bunch of stuff, and I wonder if they'll ask me to help carry everything to the vehicles. Standing in another stall and a young woman is pouring purple/red yogurt onto red grapes. Another young woman comments on the whipped cream, she says it's good she bought extra, and I think and say this is the whipped cream I bought for extras. She comments on the spouts on the cans and that one is better than the other.

I feel like on a map, I'm on the western part of it. I see some floods and rising water. Not too worried.

Then I see a very detailed, full color map of western united states. California ends by Oxnard. Everything south of it is non-existent. Then I see a map of my first country in Europe. It ends by D.S. But looking at the map now, DS is parallel with my town, while in a dream, DS was more north. So my town didn't survive.

I was also looking at surrounding towns, which I got a recall of now, while looking at a map IWL.

In a second dream, I was at my mom's place.

Aug 26 2018

I went to bed at 1:15am and woke at 5:45am. The first dream I remember was an NL. I was in a store at their early morning closing time, and there were only 3 workers present. I was on the frozen aisle. One of them said they would help me once they're done buffing the floors. I waited outside with an umbrella near the open back door of a van (I think they were going to help me load something). After this, I wrote something else in my DJ about a WW bus where I was dying and had to plan my escape. Not sure whether WW stood for WWII or Weight Watchers, both seem equally appropriate.

Before sleeping again I got up and went to bathroom (I find it's easier to return to sleep when I walk around first). Tried to focus on HI and WILD, but no success yet. Ended up MILDing with mantra "I will be lucid in my next dream".

Next time I woke was 7:35am. I had just had a long NL with a huge cast of DCs (was a family reuinion/party). I was hanging out with one of the non-family guests who I didn't know. For some reason it seemed like my family would or should have been angry at me for doing this, but they weren't. The dream transformed slightly and instead of being in my childhood home, I was in someone else's large house (I think I remember this house from a work party my Mom brought me to as a kid). I was now in a hallway that seemed like a bathroom but was filled with people. The doorway connected to the living room. I was speaking to Uncle B, who greeted me but was unusually curt (he's my godfather and is always very warm and talkative IWL). Somehow this triggered me to become lucid.

I looked at my hands and said aloud "I'm dreaming!". I looked at my uncle who had become sort of an expressionless robot (not literally but he looked confused, blank stare, furrowed brows). For some reason I poked him in the chest jokingly. His body turned towards me and he started approaching me menacingly. I felt fear at first, but then a surge of confidence. I put my hand out in front of me and said "You can't hurt me, this is my dream!". His face instantly turned friendly and he leaned back and laughed. He smiled and said "That's right ZAD! Excellent!" and he reached out and hi-fived/shook my hand. I walked around the party for a bit looking at the other DCs. They were all ignoring us and carrying on their own conversations. I don't remember if I lost lucidity or the dream faded, but I awoke after. I had a huge grin on my face when I woke up, it was awesome to have such control of the situation! I've had hostile DCs before and usually they kick me out of my dream, so this was a win for me.

I went to sleep with the same method again, trying WILD then resorting to MILD. The next time I awoke was 8:59am. I remember being in my childhood home on the couch, trying to fall asleep next to my fiance. Earlier my dad had come in and thrown at me making a joke about a roach crawling on it. Within the dream, I was actually trying to WILD! I felt my dream body fall asleep just as my waking body does, and was moving my dream-dream arm (i.e. visualizing the sensation of moving my dream arm without actually moving my dream arm). I kept waking back up and couldn't fall asleep in the dream. I remember being afraid of roaches crawling across my face.

At some point I was able to WILD in my dream -- I latched on to some HI that placed me in the same exact room but without the couch or my fiance. I looked at my hands and became lucid! The room was dark and I felt like I was losing visibility in the dream, so I walked to the light switch unconsciously expecting it not to work. Sure enough, it didn't. I was losing lucidity so I dropped to floor and felt the coolness of the wood with my hands. I also tried to use mirrors to stabilize, but I don't remember even seeing my reflection. I should have transitioned to another dream, but I didn't. I "woke up" in the previous dream and lost lucidity. From this dream I tried to DEILD in the dream, and the HI was really close to completing each time, but never materialized. It would be black and white outlines, with the camera moving in a similar fashion to the opening scene of Ocarnia of Time where the camera follows Navi through the village.

I believe the other dream (me on the couch with fiance trying to fall asleep) continued for a while. At some point the lights turned on and we were watching TV. A tall man in a white shirt and red shorts walked in front of the TV and my fiance asked me for some type of food from the kitchen. I yelled out at him, calling him Rob and asking for the food, but he didn't respond. So again I got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen. At this point I became aware, looked at my hands to confirm, and became lucid. I don't think I said "I'm dreaming" like I usually do, but it was incredibly vivid. I walked towards Rob who was in the kitchen. He had that same furrowed brow and broken robot look about his face (his eyes and mouth looked like they were scribbled in). I approached him since he was standing in the way of the fridge, and he started walking menacingly towards me. I felt confident from my previous encounter, so I simply said "Rob, you were going to get me some "X food", right?" He instantly turned friendly and apologetically let me know that there wasn't any of that here. That was fine since my fiance and the couch had disappeared. I felt his shirt to stabilize -- it was now one of mine, a casual tan button-down. Feeling the texture stabilized the dream. I walked away towards the living room and the layout had changed. The hallway was gone and the curtains took up the entire back wall now. There were also more windows now. I looked out them and when I looked once, they would show night, when I looked again, they would show morning or daylight.

I started losing lucidity, so I turned around and faced the kitchen and curtains (there was no furniture in the living room now). I focused on my breathing. The visuals improved a hundredfold. All of the colors enhanced and felt like I was looking out of a kaleidoscope or a stained glass window -- especially with the curtains, which IWL are very bland. Although the visuals improved, there was a white bar blocking the bottom quarter of my field of vision. I tried to imagine that it was like eye black so I could peel it off, but I couldn't. So instead, I tried to take it out like contact lenses, and my eyes naturally rolled up. This almost caused me to lose lucidity, so I just accepted the white bars for now.

I approached the back-left window and opened it. I imagined that it was light and would slide right up. It did! But it was so light that it easily slid back down. I crawled up (and felt my legs here, something that rarely happens in LDs for me) and put my body through the window, continuously sliding the window up as I went through. I could see that there was an awning coming down from this window, and instead of being ground level, I was four or five stories up. It was a hotel, it reminded me of the Arlington in Hot Springs for some reason. The awning was more like a giant blue tarp, and one corner was tied to my window, the other corner being tied to the ground. I decided I would fly down. Unfortunately I unconsciously doubted myself and as I fell I started losing vision. I tried flapping and that helped a bit, but I ended up landing on my back. The dream almost completely faded, but I sort of DEILD'd (still within the outermost dream) myself back into it.

Now I was on a suburban street where I had landed. There were biggish houses lining the street, and a few houses in front on the right, I saw a man and a wife in a truck, possibly about to back out of the driveway or just arriving back. I manifested Animal Mother's gun from Full Metal Jacket (I think an M60) and started shooting at them. I could see the bullet holes in the cars and buildings, but I didn't hit them. Then I walked over to a group of teenagers on their phones outside a nice house. I pointed the gun at them and told them to get inside. I wanted to kidnap them and see if the police or someone would come to fight me. They sarcastically said "Oh no" and started walking into the house. From here the dream faded pretty quickly. I wrote all this down immediately with a huge grin on my face. I think this last lucid must have lasted at least 1 to 1.5 minutes, which is the longest I've had yet. Overall, awesome night!



*Note: The visuals overall in these lucids were the best I've had yet, but I forgot to enhance my sense of touch! I need to work this into my mantra or my memorized list of steps of things to do once I become lucid. So when I was holding the M60, I was really just positioning my hands as if I was. I actually couldn't feel or see it either, I just believed it was there. I don't think I actually pulled a trigger, I just made sounds with my mouth

**Other note: I think the dreams where I was on my couch was a type of false awakening, just not where I actually was IWL.

***Edit: Forgot to mention that in my last lucid, when I was walking through the living room the second time, I asked aloud "Subconscious, how do I make my dreams longer?", but got no response.

Morning of August 26, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 2 min 23 sec. Readability score: 56.



In my dream, I am in a new variation of the Cubitis house. It seems to be late morning. Zsuzsanna is present. The television is in the west area of the living room (where it never was in real life.)

I seem to be mentally creating or recording calculus equations onto a VHS tape as I am standing on the other side of the room. The VHS player is on a shelf below our television. As it is recording over previous content, at least one episode of “Sesame Street,” I am still able to see parts of the original content. There are also brief sections of music and random patterns of static and snow.

Eventually, I see that the “Sesame Street” images are upside-down, yet rendered very realistically as such. I am only vaguely puzzled by this.

Soon, I have a small video camera, and I go out to the south side yard. I am going to make a movie about flying. I rise in the air, and before I fly higher and faster, I find amusement by seeing my shadow over the front yard, north of where I am hovering. My shadow is distorted, short and somewhat round, but I can discern from it that I am wearing a top cat and a cape or cloak. The movie may also be related to a fictitious detective serial. From here, I effortlessly fly higher and faster over Arcadia until I wake.

---

Pertinent information for new readers:

Since childhood, I have developed and enhanced various processes in the dream state. One of these is attempting to clarify the status of my infra-self by focusing on concepts such as reading or using a computer (before computers were in use in households), yet by association, mathematics sometimes occurs though is rarely viable. It typically enhances threads of liminality (sometimes lucidity) even when I am not lucid (as the infra-self does not otherwise have a viable reading ability or logical reasoning). The muppets, which I associate with control of dreams, are a result of this process. Television is a type of liminal space division (similar to a fence or wall), the contrasting dynamics of infra-self and conscious self.

A significant factor of the dreaming and waking processes is vestibular system correlation, that is, resolving the illusory nature of the dream self’s body with how the real physical body is oriented (though it also includes the distortion or expansion of space around where one is sleeping). That is what is behind falling, flying, rising, and hovering dreams.

The first dream of each sleep cycle, for over 50 years, usually involves falling, though is more vivid when I had done more walking that day, while in stark contrast, the last typically involves effortless flying whether or not I am lucid, usually in the final scene. However, I have often deliberately used falling for reinduction or sustaining a dream.

Zsuzsanna’s presence typically has priority over threads of where we live in reality. (Zsuzsanna has never been to America as my dreams often imply.) I never dream of correct settings, as they are often mixed-up variations of everywhere I have lived. (I have not lived in Cubitis since 1978.)

The upside-down dynamic mainly stems from Zsuzsanna saying, “if it sounds upside-down, it’s from down under” on her first recording to me. However, this did not result in my infra-self remembering I live in Australia.

A shadow stems from a subliminal, liminal, or lucid thread of my conscious self looking into the dream state. In apex lucidity, I play with or test my shadow to see if it is “me.”

---

81/ At a swimming resort and got involved with a game show that featured celebrities (who I can’t recall now). The game involved water so I went to change into a swim outfit. Got distracted by a guy who looked like Tom Hanks son. He auctioned things off. Remembered there was a game to take part in, changed into swimming attire, went back with five minutes to spare. I got into my game seat, which was partially submerged in water. The games made no sense. I just made random guesses and kept winning.

Not even a fragment. Woke up with the feeling I’d been in a nightmare. Can’t remember it.

82/ I ran shoeless through an old forest. On the ground, the old trees had no bark on them and the wood was worn smooth and shiny. The logs were twisty and spirally so I’d run and jump on a log and slide along it on my feet, leap to the next log and slide along until there were none left. Reminded me of Disney Tarzan sliding through the trees, except I slid along old toppled tree trunks and branches.

Fragment: Running through a hilly wooded area.
Hypnagogia: A mountain range in the distance unraveled bit by bit from the top down.

12.8.18, Dream 1/2
I was at school with 3 people I know, all of whose names start with a J, where we were eating bread fresh out of the oven with butter. It was our noon break, though mine was significantly longer than theirs, wich resulted in me beeing alone from this point forth. With nothing in particular to do I walked up the main staircase, where a teacher, or at least an adult asked me if I could tell some class that he could not do the social course on behalf of him beeing busy otherwise. He went up with me for a bit, now on a staircase entirely unfamiliar to me and pointed at a door. This door was two stories above where we stood, so I went upstairs, passed one floor and made for the second set of stairs. I was a few steps up when he sshouted at me I was to go back, so I did, returning to the door directly beneath the one I had thought he had pointed at. I asked wether this was the correct door, to wich he replied that it was the one directly above this one, so I began ascending once again, arguing with him about why in the world he called me back when I was going the right way. At some point he climbed over the stair's railing and began fooling about. At one point another teacher came by and talked to us for a bit, until the first man suddenly fell, hit a ledge on a lower floor leaving behind orange and yellow textmarker rather then blood, and then falling out of my sight. At that point a friend turned up carrying out something asking me if I could help him by holding his "friend". I said I would, but I had to go to that room first and tell the people therein that this guy couldn't come teaching for a while on account of having had an accident on the stairs (I was not entirely certain wether he was dead). This I did, although it was hard to begin talking, it felt as though I was out of breath.

17.8.18
This is only a fragment of a dream, but I thought it, in contrast to the rest of the dream, worth including.

I was in a shop, where a gril I know appeared. Scene set. Another girl I could not yet see addressed her wich made me assume this was her sister, although the voice was not hers. My dream then reshaped itself to fulfill my expectations: When I first looked at the girl, I could only see parts (e.g. Hairs) of the girl I expected to see. The rest of her appeared and the dream continued.

W went away to the sea and never came back. I texted her, but nothing responded. I suspected she died in a shipwreck and I eventually had an emotional breakdown, closing my eyes and silently crying into my pillow before getting a text back from her saying she changed her name to Jose. I talked to her after finding out that she sold used car parts and asked her why she changed her name. She said that there were too many girls with girl names.
Probably one of the more emotional dreams I have had in a while, but still hilarious.

Non-dream stuff - a couple of non-lucid fragments and small DILD lucid.

---

Dream fragment 1:
I was at a garden centre place and there was an old man that (in the dream) was a regular I came to talk to. Come to think of it he looked a bit like the kind of old man like the guy who delivers certain parcels to us. He was on a small step-ladder tending to some sort of plant colony on a pot. He was flipping a "plate" of dirt around, because of seeds or something. There were many terracotta plant pots displayed around this outside part of the garden centre, in a somewhat hectic manner, but that seems to be how it tends to be in waking life too.

Dream fragment 2:

I remember playing a game, like Path of Exile, and I remember seeing the screen. Some monsters from another game such as Monster Hunter appeared and I didn't make note of that fact. But then I got a lot of oddly lucky item drops, and the character (or my dream self?) said something odd and I remembered to do a RC as I've been getting used to doing every so often while I'm on the computer too.

I held up my hands with my palms facing me, partially blocking the screen and I realised I was dreaming because my right hand's fingers were missing segments. It felt like I became too excited, as with other times, and the dream quickly destabilised, but I also made particular note of being too aware of the waking world environment at the same time that the dream visual detail was getting lost. I tried spinning, and doing something with my hands, and also produced a chocolate bar (that I could no longer see) and tried eating that; it did taste somewhat of chocolate, though I'm not certain if it was dark or not, but the dream faded anyway.

---

Notes:

• Before I went to sleep the last night, I remembered I haven't been setting an intention properly for dreaming lately.
• I initially set an intention that I might lucid dream and reminded myself that I could do it; then I realised that there was something wrong about the way I set my intention but did it again and it felt different.
• Despite not being able to see the chocolate bar, I know it was a Cadbury's chocolate bar, because I could still "see" the purple wrapper, even though I couldn't see.
• After waking up I did a RC and when I came to write this DJ entry I did a few more too. I tend to always RC in the morning.
• I may have lost some detail on the memory of the dreams overall because between looking after my partner's dad's yowly cat and needing to use the bathroom desperately, it was being a bit difficult to hang on to the memories.

I go to a grocery store. There's many empty shelves. I look at some donuts closely. Really want to buy one, but I manage to stop myself. Julia from university is selling these pastries. She's also eating one. We have a short chat, apparently there's a new donut hitting the shelves tomorrow. The name of it was confusing me.

Scene changes, I'm at my childhood home and plan to interview someone in their dream. I have a DC in on this with me. Suddenly I'm interviewing the person. I pick something from the table and tell them it's a tarot card deck. I'm going to tell tell them their future. The black deck keeps changing when I look at it. I expected this, because I know I'm in a dream. But I still believe the previous dream to be real, so I still act like the person I was in that dream and not myself. I have no memory of my actual lucid dream goals or my actual waking life, so I don't feel lucid and wouldn't call this a lucid dream.

When I look up from the cards again, the scene has changed. I'm sitting in the living room and the person I'm interviewing is outside, under the apple trees. I pick a card. It's a queen in a long dress sitting on a fancy chair. There's a dark box under the art and a line of text. "Lust..." I only read the first word. The text wasn't going to help with my BS. I place the card face down on the table and lie what it was. I ask the person what their worst moment with their parents was. Just came up with that on the spot, I didn't even know what to ask.

While they were answering, suddenly they disappeared, leaving only clothes behind. I look around me for my DC partner, another pile of clothes like some odd scarecrows. They had woken up. I saw a wave of energy hit me and I woke up too. These strange scarecrows were still around. I tried to hide them before they guy I was interviewing would see them.