non-lucid

last couple nights:

last night:
+ walking in street, AA man in a car heads right for me so I jump up and levitate and look down and watch and he drives under me and is trying to figure out a way to run me over

+ (f) radio equipment?


2-3 nights ago:

+ at McD's line with MR, black face/afro, baby to cut line
I'm in line at McD's, my friend MR is with me but can't be with me in line. There's a long line, and I'm wondering what I should order for him, some burgers? He's not going to make it in line with me. Then he appears and I'm startled by his appearance: he has painted his face completely black and has put on a short afro wig. He has disguised himself to cut in line with me. I am moving to our table and he joins me, carrying a fake infant. I think he has used his disguise plus this fake baby to cut the line, but I'm worried that the waitress will come to our table and see through his subterfuge.

+ [vivid, long] buds at table, talking morals with Hervé Villechaize, fly away, girls at next table seduce all my friends, they capture and sell the videos
I'm sitting down to a table with a bunch of friends of mine (2-sided table with benches like a picnic table). They're asking me about my fitness program, I say I'm doing (my program), and start describing it, but they're not listening any more. There are some girls at the table next to us, and they start coming over and talking to us. I'm walking around the area and notice my friends are all paired up with the girls on various couches.

Spoiler for sexy time:

One friend has his face between the legs of one of the girls (they're still both dressed). Another one is making out with a girl on a couch. I see another, also closed, but he's having sex with his girl, I see his (ahem).

On my side of the table at the far end of the bench (right side as standing facing the table) is sitting Hervé Villechaize. Then I'm in a high balcony alcove with Hervé Villechaize, there is a large open square area to the right, we're about on the 3rd floor so we're up pretty high. HV is putting down my beliefs & morals, saying there worthless. I'm trying to figure out a way to respond to him. I'm glancing to the right at the square open high area and thinking "I could just lean over [I'm sitting right on the edge] and fly over that area". HV keeps talking. I say "yeah, but can you do THIS!?" and lean over and launch myself into the air and fly over the open area, to the other side, and do a barrel roll and turn up and to the left and fly up a flight of stairs. I emerge into an area where there is a TV. It is playing videos of my friends having sex with the girls. Text on the screen reads the price of the videos, something like 116 euros. I think the whole girls thing was just a ploy to get candid sex videos and sell them. I then see some of the (wives?) of my friends and they are disapproving of this whole thing.
I'm walking in a corridor and see JS (SS coach), he says "FM buddy! Look at you, you're all buff!" and I think he's referring to my chest, but he then says "Hey man you've got abs!" But I know that's not right, and say "nah, not really"

09-02-2918 -- Massively cool Doctor Who dream, at least in my mind as I woke up. Earlier bits stumbling around in a house, half asleep, barely able to walk because of a bad foot (from real life today), then I find myself in a sort of a cross between a space ship and a planet. The place is mostly metal, and a slightly odd mix of seeming both medevil and futuristic. The TARDIS is parked in a sort of a junction of blocked off corridors, and is within a slightly shimmering, but almost invisible bubble of some sort of force, so it looks like just the walls of the corridor, but if you walk up to them, you can pass right through them.

I am Andred, the place guard, played by Peter Davison, and the Doctor in this story is the 12th Doctor, Capaldi. I'm not traveling with the Doctor, I am simply on the planet he has landed on. He and his companions (who are never quite seen) are running through corridors trying to figure out what is going on, but I have seen this before, long ago, so I am kind of starting to remember things. Eventually the section of wall that is phased out, allowing passage, is starting to look like some sort of dark iron mask, and as things are becoming more intense, the only thing that is missing, are the glowing red eyes, but I know they are coming.

As I said, things are getting more intense, and one of the Doctor's companions has gone missing. He is trying to find them, and is half-listening at the iron mask, when the bad guy makes some sort of comments about the might of the Sycorax or some such thing, and the Doctor is commenting about how something isn't right here, and I know what it is. At this point of time, the Sycorax should be barely starting their evolution, and incredibly slow and stupid, without enough knowledge or interest to kidnap one of the Doctor's companions ... except that (remember, I've seen this episode before) because of traveling in the TARDIS for a while, they are all soaked in chroniton particles, and having one of them around will jump-start the species' evolution. I know that in a few minutes the Doctor will realize this, and will take the TARDIS back in time to rescue the companion before they manage to get a hold of her, and thereby keep them too stupid to think of kidnapping her in the first place.

But first he has to run around for a bit, and find the clues he needs, to tell him this, and in the meantime, I am just kind of wandering around with him. At one point, he finds a silent sort of weird guy he is trying to communicate with, who seems to look kind of like Chip (Cassandra's servant), but Chip pushes his way head-first through a small hole in the floor. The Doctor begins to follow him, and I'm looking at the small hole and thinking of my large size (mine, not Davison's) and am thinking 'there's no way.' But then I notice that the carpet is rather flexible in the area, and realize the hole is a lot bigger than it appears, but the carpet hides most of it, and I go head-first through, as well.

Dropping to the next level, the Doctor has already run off, and I find myself in a large set of rooms divided by walls here and there, but no doors, a sort of open floor plan. But around the edges of the area there are a lot of confusing, unmarked doors, leading to small corridors with more doors, and a fair amount of people running through them, and nobody is paying any attention to me at all. There is a sort of storage area, with boxes and crates on the ground, and people wandering through the 'aisles' picking out supplies and parts and tools, and there's a sort of lounge area with a bunch of chairs. I duck through one of the doors and through a couple of the small corridors and more doors, but things just keep opening out on even more corridors and rooms, so I head back to where I started, just to find everybody is gone.

So I keep looking around, and more people are arriving again, and in the lounge area, there is an odd sort of display called something like the Eye of Boh, where you sit in a seat and look through a sort of telescope, and your mind is being focused across the universe, to where you are staring into the eye of the provinence of Boh, and are kind of hypnotized. And the passage through the area sort of passes right through the viewing area, so people try to dodge around to avoid being caught in the line of sight, for fear of what might happen. And I see somebody that looks kind of familiar, and find myself asking 'Is that Emma Watson?' and I remember, 'Oh yeah, she did have a guest role in this episode, didn't she.'

She is somewhat young, probably 15 or 16, and looks a little bit different than usual, but still pretty recognizable, and she has taken a seat in the lounge area with a bunch of other fairly young people, and more are gathering all the time. I stumble, and fall back against a wall, and am hoping as I fall that it is a real wall, and I'm not going to knock down part of the set. It is real, and I don't collapse the set, but in the fall, I spot a camera man filming in a dark corridor, and am thinking to myself that the low lighting helps, and that the less observant viewers won't manage to see him in that scene, but the sharper ones will. (ie I am the camera, so his filming there will be caught on film.)

I make it back to my feet, and return to the lounge area, which is getting more and more crowded, and as the crowds grow, balloons are starting to pop -into- existence above them. They make almost no noise, and a barely audible over the industrial sounds of the area. It's also getting darker and darker, so there is less chance of people noticing them appearing, either. The balloons are all black and white, and oddly shaped, somewhat like a Mickey Mouse balloon, except they don't look at all cute, but rather creepy, and as the crowds grow ever larger, and more and more balloons appear, they start drifting down onto the people, where they cause great pain, and cause the people to start screaming and disappearing. I dive out of the way, and am dodging through the corridors again. This time other people are starting to notice me, and beginning to call out for me, and I'm starting to run from them. I find myself back in the shopping/storage area, but this time it is really crowded, and I am having to push my way through the crowds, and am hoping the Doctor hurries up and figures it out, so he can go back in time, and I can take the companions' place, since I am of this time and world, and don't have any chroniton particles to fuel their evolution. I'm ready to sacrifice myself for the team.

Sep 3 2018

Woke 3:35. In a fight with parents and grandpa about cooking or setting up something (possibly speed-reading). Daylight outside, long tables (possibly crawfish boil).

Woke 5:05. Long fragment in a stadium, receiving some sort of business presentation from coworker. After it's over, I'm picking up my laptop bag and I stand out of the way for a coworker and an unnamed DC, who say that they have a "merge request in the morning". The presenter (another coworker) is kicking us out.

Awoke directly from FA nightmare. My dog barked and I could tell instantly that it was serious, not just him barking at another dog. The door to the bedroom is thrown open and the midget from Twin Peaks season 3 entered with a small gun. He approached the bed, not looking directly at me or anyone, just at the wall behind us. He said something vague and I tried to lean up in bed asking something to the extent of "What do you want?". As I tried to move, and in some sense solve the problem, my vision blurred and the dream started to fade. He was wearing a blue shirt with the pattern of "I (heart) N Y" but the letters were "? (eye symbol) T Y" in white. The room's layout was completely realistic and accurate unlike other false awakenings. I woke up and said "holy shit" aloud. Very scary experience, but very vivid -- would have been invaluable if I could have gotten lucid and converted it.

Before that, I was in my childhood home, on the phone with my manager about something that needed to get done. The screen was black with red nubmbers and dial-screen graphics, and an orbiting globe outline. The call got dropped. I was worrying about this with my parents but they seemed to think it would all work out (it was nighttime). My sister was in my room on my computer, looking for the first book in a series my fiance is currently reading. I suggested that she can just read my fiance's copy rather than buy it herself. I end up also giving her a japanese manga volume and another poorly translated japanese book, I remember the engrish being hilarious in-dream. After this, I went to the kitchen (all of the lights were out). I was trying to write down my dreams in ink on the wood floors. In the back of my mind I knew this was a terrible idea and that my dad would be furious, but in the moment I wasn't worried about it. There were some drops of water on the floor and it was smearing the ink, so I started wiping it up, making the smearing even worse. I was also worried about cockroaches.

After the ink, I found myself in a distinct dream scene. I was on the ground looking up at the side of a cliff maybe 4 or 5 stories high. There was a good bit of dirt caked on and I thought to myself how nice it would look if I could get the dirt off. I grabbed a wedge-shaped piece of reddish slate and scraped as much dirt as I could off and stepped back, and noticed how nice the geometric patterns were. I remember the thought-phrase "cliff face". When I looked again, one of the rock formations sort of looked like a nose, and the one below looked like a mouth! When I started examining the rest of the cliff, the whole thing was taken up by face structures (abstract and Easter Islandish). The ground went from being solid dirt and rock, to having some cracks in which curved red boards were shoved and prying the cracks apart. In the cracks were green cylindrical vegetables (I thought of okra or fat asparagus stalks). As I moved forward towards the cliff, I noticed a mesh oyster bag of sea urchins, which were moving around each other in the bag, sort of like you expect spike balls to in a metroidvania or platformer. This was a really vivid and overall nice and creative dream that's simple but feels profoundly peaceful, the kind of nonlucid you generally want to have. So of course this scene transitioned directly to the nightmare FA.

I woke again at 8:59. My fiance was in trouble. We were in some sort of college sign-up, car buying, or other related scenario. There were DCs everywhere, and specifically several DCs with deep blue eyes and short hair meant her harm in an insidious way (they were outwardly friendly). I became more and more adversarial over the course of the dream, eventually hitting them and throwing things at them. We moved from the student union/indoor car lot into a side hallway which transitions to a long house with lots of corridors and small rooms arranged in pretty much a straight-shot, but almost labyrinthine at the same time. I was thinking somehow they were hypnotizing her, and she was getting more and more bruises on her arms and abdomen. Eventually I get in exaggerated physical fights with them and I somehow manage to get 2-4 of them to defect to my side as allies and stow her away under a sliding hole in the kitchen (sort of a drain hole in the floor, like you see in restaurant kitchens). She escaped succesfully.

I'm unknowingly in an FA but think I'm fully awake. I am having the "transparent eyelids" effect, and I'm looking around my bedroom at the closet door, but it's the wooden closet door from my childhood home. I'm etching a human face in it with my mind.

After this, I'm in my childhood home and members of my family as well as random DCs are dressed in "starship troopers armor" -- white and blue, and white and red. It was a long and in-depth dream, but I don't remember much of it. I finally escaped the fray and sat back on my bed, but then my father entered my room with his gun held high, and I remember thinking "oh good, you'll just be my bodyguard". When I thought this (non-lucidly), he changed his course of action from running forward to attack me to climbing in bed next to me with his rifle held out (think Fullmetal Jacket "This is my rifle"). I got up from bed* and started walking towards the hallway. Almost instantly I became lucid! I didn't say "I'm dreaming!" or do any RCs or stabilization unfortunately. I walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, and it was daylight outside, maybe early morning. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, seeing a girl in a dress instead of myself. In this moment, I started to think of the "bad guys" in the starship troopers armor and then banished the thought from my mind, knowing that if I thought of them I would encounter or summon them. So instead I took advantage of the situation -- although I was seeing the girl in the mirror, I felt my dream body as my own physical body. So I turned away from the mirror and decided that I would become the girl in the mirror. I turned back around and I was!

Spoiler for nudity:

My body had changed competely and I was naked. Naturally, I touched my arms and chest to test sensation (it was dull, sort of semi-numb as my dream body sensation usually is). I did a little twirl and

inspected my face further in the mirror -- my face was sort of ugly and homely**, and as mirrors in dreams usually do, my face shifted quite a bit. I leaned in further to inspect myself and kissed the mirror (it was cold). I then leaned back out and decided to try my "Clear sight. Clear sound. Clear touch. Grounded. Calm, confident. I can stay here as long as I want." stabilization phrase. However, as soon as touched my thumb and forefinger, I accidentally said "Clear mind" first! It rejected me from the dream instantly. As I began to feel my waking body, I realized my thumb and forefinger were touching here too; maybe this triggered the waking?

I laid awake for quite a while after that, as I had already slept more than usual for the night, and for the whole weekend basically. I was also still excited about the lucid and hoping to drop back into it. Eventually I went back to sleep and had some more non lucids. In the first, I was with my fiance in a rest area/cabin in the woods. In the next, I felt as though I dropped into the dream as a visualization from waking, but it's possible I was only visualizing from an FA. I was imagining tall waves, and how my body bobbed up and down in them. It felt incredibly nice and peaceful. I was at a beach, and my sister was standing on a board of some kind zipping up a life jacket. I think my fiance was bobbing up and down in the water too. When I looked at the shore, I couldn't quite see the sand but I could see tall buildings above the waves, which I identified to be my apartment buildings from WL. A distinct black shape was swimming towards me, and I thought it might be a shoe or a fish (I thought it could be a dangerous fish but dismissed the thought instantly). After another waking, I had a final dream of being in a wood panneled shop with an old woman who was offering the shop to me (inheritance?). Her wares were laid out on a long wooden table, which after looking away and looking back turned out to be a giant Knorr pasta packet. I believe this all happened in 3rd person.



*I think getting out of beds in nonlucids is a lucidity/awareness trigger -- will have to investigate how to encourage this).
**This is actually the second time I've transformed my body into a woman's in a mirror while lucid, but for some reason I always turn into butterfaces. Also not sure why I keep doing this. Why, lucid mind, why?

Dream in a dream?

I was listening to a song and kept it on a low volume since I didn’t wanted to be annoying to anyone else in the house. This was my childhood home. I went down the stairs and into the kitchen when I found Do Kyungsoo. He glanced at me briefly before concentrating on the cooking. I kind of wanted the hug him and did so a couple of times. He was busy and didn't really care much about me tho. He got me thinking about my first love and made me miss him a bit. Soon when Kyungsoo was finished he looked at me with a smile and lifted me up. I was kind of embarassed since I had a very short dress on and whenever he lifted me up it was possible to see my underwear which I desperatly tried to hide by pulling down the dress with my hands. He was just laughing and kind of smirking even. Then he let me go and I went to bed.

I told myself that this was the real world and nothing like spirits or fairies actually existed. As I fell asleep someone spoke to me telling me that they did exist but only showed themselves for people when it was necessary. I ended up being in a forest and standing on the water surface to a lake. I didn't really understand. But the voice said that right now everything are calm as I could tell on the water. It was merely moving. But things could change and make it go wild the voice said and suddenly the water flew around me. Like waterbending kind of. I was terrified and said that I didn't wanted the water to hit me. The water did as I told it and split into two big waves around me and fell down and became the calm lake as nothing happend. That's when I realised I was dreaming...

But woke up because of my alarm went off.

Running with Do Kyungsoo

I was running together with Do Kyungsoo. It was a competition and we kind of helped each other. There were many stops on the way were every stop had a question. You needed to solve it to be able to get to the next one. As we came to a place full of gemstones Kyungsoo freaked out at the question. “What is the name we are looking for?” The thing was that non of the stone were named. Just numbers. Kyungsoo thought we needed to know the names of the stones but I told him that, that’s not the case. I wrote down: Xiumin. Then I found a picture of him and showed it for Kyungsoo and said that we could move on.


Note: Do Kyungsoo is a Kpop star

Non-dream stuff - Woke up with the earlier alarms, around 8:30 and then let the alarm repeat itself every so often, but ended up snoozing a bit and got up at 9:50. Remember the last part of a non-lucid.

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Dream fragment:
It's difficult to remember what came before, because I went through a door, I think the front door of a very small terraced house. Inside it was dark but there was daylight from a window.

Immediately inside there were stairs that went either up or down, and I decide to go down, where it was darker and there were no windows. The stairwell was cramped and it felt like an old building for that reason alone. Eventually at the bottom there was a room with a light. This was a shop, even if a very small one, as this room was no bigger than a pantry and it is implied by dream context to be a basement; a man was at the counter and there was someone else browsing. There were metal shelves and wooden crates with things in them.

There were all sorts of things, I remember thinking it was a drug store at first. I saw some melatonin and other drugs I didn't recognise. I did not remember to question the dream's reality or context. As I looked around the room became bigger and the layout changed; there were a window or two now and toward one corner there were weapons; I remember moving them carefully to the side since I wanted to get past, further into the corner. I remarked on each weapon as I moved them; "this looks like a pillum... this a javelin...".

When they were out of the way I got into the corner and there was a big cabinet that didn't interest me, and there was a narrow piece of wood furniture that almost looked like a column but was some sort of display cabinet. The other cabinet I wasn't interested in, the other man in the shop was interested in it. I think I either somehow passed it to him or he came to get it, as it was now next to the counter, and inside the cabinet were vinyls.

Not just any vinyls however, the boxes' covers were decorated in a 20s or 40s style and they were all children's stories. Then I noticed there was a vinyl player from the 70s or 80s next to the cabinet now and the man was trying them out; I could see the vinyl under the perspex lid. Somehow, the vinyls produced images. I remember seeing animated cartoons of whatever the stories were. I liked the vinyl boxes because they were very colourful; with red or blue trims.

---

Notes:

• I've never had a sleep related supplement or the like simply appear in a dream like the melatonin did, so it feels a bit silly that I didn't notice it, especially given that currently, for me to get melatonin I have to ask my parents for it.
• The weapons didn't look old; in fact the tips were in pristine condition and the wooden handles were nicely oiled.
• The cabinet that didn't interest me looked old and dilapidated; it was one of the many lifeless-looking objects in the room that seemed to have little colour to them.
• I'm starting to realise there may be a pattern to my interaction with stairs when they appear in dreams. Often I choose to go down, and when I choose to go down, it does tend to get darker and it tends to feel like it takes a long time. Stairs going down generally seem longer than stairs going up in my dreams.

Sep 2 2018

I went to bed with strong intentions to become lucid, as well as a solid plan for what to do once I became lucid. I was trying the anchoring method I mentioned in another thread, anchoring positive and confident memories with the sensation of touching my thumb and forefinger together. I had a phrase burnt into memory to repeat nonverbally once I became lucid (to replace "Clarity now!"): "Clear sight, clear sound, clear touch. Grounded. Calm, confident. I can stay in this dream as long as I want" (in retrospect this is extremely long, but I think I'll try it out for a few new nights anyway). I also used my standard mantra "I will become lucid in my next dream"/"In every dream tonight" in combination with "In my next dream, I look at my hands and realize that I'm dreaming". In the future I will stick with only "IWBLIMND" since it's more succint and sets a clear intention for the immediate future, rather than a broad concept of "every dream".

I awoke at 1:18 am in a somewhat strong paralysis with extremely vivid imagery (not dreamlike, more like imagination). There was a man, possibly me, conjuring lightning circularly all around him. The lightning was blue, white, and green. I awoke again at 2:47 am. I remembered several dreams involving my fiance and my dog. In the first, I was at the elementary portion of my high school (it's K-12) and I swerved my car to narrowly miss my dog, who spontaneously started running out at me in the street. I got out of the car and was rubbing his front leg and paw. I noticed that his paw had too many joints and was curled in too much. Somehow this felt connected to a drive through.

In the next dream, I'm in a living room with a wrap-around bar counter. I think I've been here in a dream before. I'm watching Bob Ross on TV painting thick brushstrokes -- X's, C's, and U's -- over an already finished landscape. My dog jumps off the counter. I'm trying to remember what to do tomorrow, two important things in the morning and night.

My next set of dreams came after WBTB. In the first, one of my cousins was referred to as "3". There was an interesting story about diving, and D&D. I vividly remember descending in a well, looking up as the light was blocked out by the silhouette of a monster (Demogorgon?), although I didn't feel fear. Next, I was in an arcade or bowling alley, some sort of indoor entertainment place. I left my fiance to go to an adjoining room from the lobby and get ice cream. There was a girl there who was going in the same direction as me, and called me a "creeper" jokingly. She was trying to be funny or cute in the way she was getting her ice cream. I was friendly but not overly so. I got maybe 4 flavors of ice cream, in sort of a flight. In the next dream, I'm an intruder in a man's house. He has a lot of weapons strewn about, some intricate compound and traditional bows, swords, guns, blowdarts, etc. I go through room after room and find the man, he's in his mid 50s or 60s. He threatens me with a long, thin, metal pole, and I think he threatned to castrate me with it. He transports me back to some memory of 1950's New Orleans with a McDonalds, and a small building with an advertisement to "teleport you to the Science Museum". The visuals are faded, blackish, and all the buildings look like plywood.

In the next dream, I'm at Sonic at night/early morning with my fiance. She's handed me a cup, but I threw it away; there are two crumpled cups beside it. I understand it to be sonic, but it's more like someone's backyard, there aren't any lights or servers or menus, just the standard sonic table and trash can, as well as an overhead cover. A group of foreign men walk by, talking about wanting some cervezas. In the next dream, I'm going over some train tracks covered in water, in a swamp (I've been here before as well). The waves are rounded like tiled hills -- at certain points they are covered in grass, at other times they're just water/waves. I see the sasquatch.

My old boss is giving me cryptic hints about something, laughing about it. We're in the woods, sort of. Something about eating a spider/the dust that comes out when you crush the spider. Possibly my fiance was warning me not to eat it. I eat the dust, and then eat the crumpled spider husk too.

Next I had a dream about DreamViews! It was something about inline comments/spoilers; I remember red and purple text. There were other sites too -- DreamBattles and DreamWars (reenactments, maybe I read about this before).



*Slept for a really long time hoping to get lucid, and kept trying to go back to sleep. After this frustration, I decided to not get bummed out when I don't get lucid. It doesn't help. And there's always tomorrow night

Dream 1 - Just enjoying a nice meal

I'm at my parents' place, in the kitchen. My brother has a visitor, a man I don't know. I eat ham, potatoes, carrot casserole, diced and steamed carrots and sweet potatoes. It's something you would serve for Christmas here. It's great. I don't really do anything else but eat and listen to my brother talk with a stranger in the other room.

Fragment 1

A DC told me her dream. It was a nightmare where the world was ended by a strange biological weapon. I saw this like a vision: cities covered in white web-like stuff. The DC told me the weapon killed 50% of all life.

Fragment 2

I see a game. Characters have some fight on a train at night. The train isn't moving. Supernatural things happen. At one point I think I was manipulating the dream too. This was Kojima's new game, false memories told me.

Re-adjusting my sleep atm. Recall will get better.

Non-dream stuff - I woke up at about 20 to 7 in the morning, sweating a bit. Woke up from a non-lucid dream, right as I was starting to cry for the second time in the dream. The emotion didn't carry over. I went back to bed after writing a draft and eventually woke up again at 10:50. My alarms between 8 and 9 haven't been working of late.

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Dream:
I was walking around with my mom on the quay in the capitol of my native country. I was holding her arm sort of interlocked with mine, as we've done in the past. She was for some reason lamenting that we, as a family, hadn't accomplished much or that it could have been more, or something like that. I commented that if it weren't for the debt, we would have owned all of the factory in front of us now, instead of just part of it. It was some sort of biscuit factory. I remember we walked along until reaching a cafe.

The cafe was an odd place, very vertical. I remember my middle brother being there, with his cap and glasses. We went up and down the place trying to get something specific my mom wanted, like a cupcake or muffin from the factory.

I don't remember the details but I found out my mom had passed away from some natural cause.

Me and my partner were at home. We somehow had heard or found out that his mom had passed away too, again from natural cause, and I remember thinking that my mom passed at "64" in the dream. I asked my partner if we should message his mom's partner, to inform them, he said maybe, yeah, but we weren't sure about it. In the waking world, they have been somewhat nasty to us over the years, so we have a hard time gauging their reaction to anything we might say now.

I commented that they passed away at such a similar age, and I cried a little. I then commented "at least my mom passed away at this age and not older; I didn't want to see what she would have been like with all her medications at an old age" or something of this sort, and I collapsed on my knees from the sofa we were sitting on and I cried again, waking up.

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Notes:

• In the dream, there was a small moment during the conversation with my mom where I thought the topic was odd. Yes, my family had a factory, but that was long ago, and it was on my dad's side of the family, not my mom's. In addition, we've never had any debts as a family.
• This is the sort of dream I'll have to wait and see. Years ago I had a dream that may have been premonitory about when my dad would pass away, and this dream had the same feeling. If both dreams were correct and my parents passed away respectively at ages 83 and 64, then both events would happen 11 and 6 years from now.
• My mom had several dreams about her dad passing away several months before the event, which is one of the reasons I've never discarded the possibility of premonitory dreams like this actually happening.
• Apart from the conversation with my mom in the dream, nothing else during dreaming struck me as "odd", unfortunately.
• The cafe scene was actually kind of vivid and surreal but I really don't remember many details, certainly not enough to put to words now.

2 days ago, I think.

I'm in a house I recognize with people I know. (I lived here IWL by the beach.) I know I used to live there. It's a huge house, quite long.

I'm trying to take a shower. As I come to the shower, people are gathering. I realize they didn't tell me about some party. Shower is just a stall, inside the room, separated from it just by a curtain. At first I almost get in, then I change my mind because it feels awkward. I go to find another shower, but people are everywhere. I walk through many rooms. There are at least 2 more showers. One is suppose to be up the narrow, winding stairway and I realize I ahve never been in this part of the house, it's like a secret room. I do not go in there.

I decide to leave. Walking outside on the patio. Cemetery on my right hand side. I think to myself, dangit, i walked that far inside of the house, now I have a very long way back. And I never realized there is a cemetery near the house. I do my best not to look, since I don't like that place. But I see large, shiny slabs of white and black stones. Now below the patio, there are 2 graves. I try to look to the left how I could go around, but there is a fence and someone else's house.

I get a thought, that I should walk on those graves and get over my fear. This would be a good time to do that. But I also decide that not now, perhaps next time. Suddenly my path is clear and I can continue on. Either the graves are not there anymore, or they don't bother me since I decided I won't be scared, or a fence has changed it's shape and it's not blocking my path. I think it's a combination of all 3.

Waking up, I'm surprised and happy that my quest to conquer my fears continues even in my non-lucids.

THANK YOU!

Sep 1 2018

The night started with some visualization of a dream I'm trying to incubate, which lasted probably 30 minutes to an hour. After that, I set my intentions to become lucid and headed to sleep.

My first dream of the night involved some kind of network TV teenage vampire drama plot, which took place in a neighborhood similar to mine from childhood. In the next dream, I was in a trench coat placing high-stakes bets using a 90's era cell phone. At the end of this dream, all of my cronies were in a room, facing forward in rows, and I was facing backward. We were all peeing on the ground (I think it was a power play).

Next, I'm in a huge convention center. I had just seen the newest Avengers movie (I haven't seen it IWL). I was ranting to others about how Thanos had all of the Avengers on his side and wasn't even fighting, but was just using the Avengers to fight. The convention center was huge (should've caught that, since disproportionate structures is one of my dreamsigns). We (a couple of DCs and I) were walking through the ground floor when we ran into

Spoiler for nudity:

three girls in fishnet shirts, whose nipples were poking through the fishnet. I or one of my DC friends picked the middle girl's girls up and examined them like a fine connoisseur, asking "These are same-size, no?". I remember they had a lot of moles and sort of looked cancerous? The girl on the left had red fishnet, but the other two had dark grey or black, and all of the fishnet was thick, like yarn or wool rather than thin like you would typically think.

The dream shifts and I'm walking with some old high school friends and acquaintances. We come across M, who's sitting on the floor in front of some people trying to take a picture. We tell her to get up and stop blocking the picture, and she says "This is a picture?" in a way that for some reason made me give out this awful dolphin-like laugh. I remember thinking in my non-lucid state, "stop that, you'll wake yourself up!". Sure enough I did.

After this dream sequence, I got up as my fiance left for work. I walked my dog so he wouldn't bother me for the rest of the session and drank a little apple juice. I MILDed with "I will become lucid in my next dream" and "The next time I see a person, I will look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming". The first dream had very low lucidity. It was sort of a western setting in a two or three story house. Outside I could see a desert/grassland with tall grass growing and mountains in the background, and the sky was really beautiful (should have RC'd here also, abnormal sky is a dreamsign). I walked around the house and looked out of the windows.

From this dream, I awoke into a false awakening. In the FA, I was trying to get back to bed to LD (didn't catch this). At some point I opened my dream eyes and saw a shallow, long, white plastic sink on the wall. It occured to me that I was dreaming because that doesn't exist in my room, but it didn't "click" until I got up and reached for the knob. At this point there was a shift in my consciousness that almost threw me off balance, like flipping a switch. I walked to a nearby mirror on the wall and experienced what people say -- the properties of my face were changing and twitching, especially my nose, jaws, and lips. I didn't say "clarity now!" like I usually do, and I really need to stabilize. I had some feeling throughout my dream body, but felt numb, so I started slapping my face and pulling on my lips, tongue, cheeks. I was incredibly focused on engaging my tactile senses. I tried to summon my dream totem associated with stabilizaiton, but for some reason I didn't have pockets. I decided I would summon a DC to help, so strangely I called out the name of an acquaintance from high school (I haven't even consciously thought of this person in years). At first I called aloud, and I could only get out the first name since my voice was garbled as it always is. So I used non-verbal commands! I looked towards the doorway and she appeared! It was awesome to see this work, as it's only worked for me in the past in a semi-lucid. I think I told her to give me a massage so that I could feel my body better. She had a serious face on and nodded agreeably. I was wearing a red t-shirt and a thin, dark blue jacket like the band kids used to wear. I started to take this off, and sat back on the bed as she approached, at which point I woke up.

The first thing I did upon waking was an RC (I've been trying to train myself to do these at each waking), but it wasn't a dream. I was really pissed at myself for not thinking of the ways I've stabilized in the past ("clarity now!", breathe in and focus on senses, pry eyes open, etc.), but I was happy to have an LD after about a week-long dry spell. I reflected on what I could have done better and visualized it, then MILDed again and went to sleep.

I had a chain of FAs/DILDs at this point*. In the first, I was in a lit version of my bedroom. I got up, became lucid, and walked around briefly before losing lucidity. In the next, I'm in a grocery store on a higher staircase. I see a lot of DCs around the corner of the opening, and I look at a clock that says "08:00". I become lucid, feeling off-balance like before, and walk around the display, looking at some bread before losing lucidity. In the next dream, I'm on the street of my childhood home looking at a large white column in the middle of NOG's yard (one of our neighbors). There's moss or dirt up to about shoulder level on the column. My sister and mom are behind me and commenting on the small car parked in middle of the yard, trying to make out the license plate. I become lucid and start looking at some huge leaves on some plants that appeared spontaneously. We're looking through the leaves, arguing whether the license plate is UWP 117 or 116. The dream fades slowly out and back in, then fades completely.

From here I had a series of longish NLs:
I have a collection of wood carvings/sculptures. One in particular is of Spyro, the others are small people. The house I'm in reminds me of a previous vacation house.
There is a mouse running around the backyard at my childhood home. It runs up to the door and allows me to pick it up. My parents' dog and mine both just sniff at it when it approaches. It's almost cartoon-like, but is very real. We all fall in love with the mouse. At some point my sister finds a "water snake" which looks like it's breaded with panko bread crumbs until she places it in a bucket full of water and cleans it off (now it looks like bread dough). There is a 1ft dark green toady that walks through our back porch in the midst of all this, as well as some small slugs. My mom is sad/angry, lashing out passive agressively (this is practically a dream sign).
The next dream is in an urban fantasy setting (by this I mean full-out fantasy that just happens to pass through some urban sections, not vampires and werewolves in modern clothing). I am tasked with delivering something. I have to walk around these long, curving, somewhat cyberpunk blue corridors in the middle of the city. I'm wearing peasant's clothes and have a sword. Whatever it is I'm delivering is in a brown sack (possibly the remains of something or someone?). I have to double-back at some point (this could be a dream sign, going down the same path twice). Eventually I arrive at the base, which is a fraternity or sorority house. I meet with the buyer/receiving party, and they say that it's not what they expected. Don't remember much after this and my pen ran out of ink, so the world will never really know.



Overall, it was a pretty good night! Summoned a DC and learned to use non-verbal commands. Will need to practice and visualize how to stabilize VTA (visual, tactile, and auditory) senses more.

*Because of their short nature and the fact that they were pretty much chained together, I'm going to count all of these short lucids as 1 in total, for a grand total of 2 LDs tonight.

Morning of September 1, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,884-02. Reading time: 54 sec.

I seem to be only 14 years old. I am in the Cubitis living room on the couch (lengthwise against the north wall, where it never was in reality, as it would have blocked a door). I sense it is Saturday morning. An unknown male is present. I do not see him as an intruder.

I missed at least a day of school, so I need to write an excuse. It has to involve something dangerous. The only idea I have is that an octopus attacked me, so I am recovering. Along with explanatory notes, I need to provide physical evidence.

I have two long yucca roots. I think they might provide evidence as octopus tentacles, but it does not seem feasible. I think about mentally willing them to become meat, but it does not seem to work.

Eventually, I do not think my plan will work. I remain concerned about not finishing the report on time. I start to worry about validly explaining my absence. The roots are white as I wake.

---

Which valid threads are extant in a dream and which are not has always fascinated me. I am aware it is a Saturday morning and that I am sleeping on my left side on a couch, yet I have no memory of my current conscious adult self or of where I am living or what country.

---

In this dream, I seem to have been selected to contribute to some collaborative project that has to do with “Game of Thrones” and a couple of prominent political figures, including Trump. I think there are 25 of us in all, but I don’t actually meet with the others—I just have an interview with someone, and that’s it. It’s in a large, modern building, and I recall being in an elevator at some point, deciding that I’ll go to join the others and see the complete work. It seems a little strange to me that I should be playing a part in this—I haven’t watched or read “Game of Thrones,” and I don’t seem to be personally involved in these matters the way everybody else is. But I’m curious enough to go anyway.

I join the others in a room with a large screen on one wall. It’s divided up into smaller rectangles of various sizes and proportions on which video loops are being played. I can see my own contribution among them, in the upper central area, showing the collapse of a temple-like building with hundreds of statues in front of it, among other images.

Then it starts playing, and my part comes first. In the narration, I recognize what I had said in the interview, now in a more polished form. It’s now clear that what I provided was the prologue, tracing out the historical background of the story told in all the subsequent parts, setting the stage for it. That makes a lot of sense, actually—now I can see how it’s relevant, even though it doesn’t directly concern the characters that the story is focused on.

(30.8.18)

This was a somewhat peculiar dream. The school I go to had arranged this even where you could get on one of two sides and participate in a fake war, to see what it was like. However, they didn’t actually give us any fake weapons or anything, so we had to fight with our fists.

I remember the group I was in, Law, marching side by side with the Chaos group. It was actually a surprisingly long line of people. Most people in both groups were wearing this uniform similar to Goro Akechi’s Metaverse outfit. The Law side had a really light yellow colored uniform and the Chaos side had a dark red colored uniform.

After a bit of marching both groups reached the town center. That’s when I noticed that the uniformed people just... disappeared altogether. And as I looked around, a few groups of people appeared from various alleys that were around. Those groups were full of people I didn’t recognize, but they were always led by someone whom had been in one of my classes at least once. I assumed these guys were Chaos groups, so I avoided them. After all, I couldn’t really take 15 people by myself.

After walking for a little bit, I got to this McDonald’s. I thought “Why not? I could go for a mid-battle meal.” And I tried to go in. I’m fairly certain the building had automated doors. But, as I was getting close to the door, three people exited. I knew two of them, Blake and Jack, but for some reason, I couldn’t make out who or what the third figure was. It looked kinda shadowy, but it was more of a grey color than a black.

I greeted them and asked them if they were enjoying this even at all. That’s when I felt a slight pain in my head, and this sort of blue-ish light appeared around the corners of my eyes. I think the same thing had happened to them as well, because they looked like they were in pain.

Some fighting between the three of us happened, most of which I can’t really recall, but I think I was trying to avoid hurting them, so I was just dodging. I ended up falling to the ground, and the two of them sat on me in order to pin me to the ground. I started laughing for some reason.

That’s when I woke up.

I was next to my computer, messing around with plugs. It is night time and I have a small uncovered lamp on next to me. I have an outlet strip in my hand and I took a white plug and plugged it in the wrong way. I plugged it in one slot off and only on prung went in and the other slid down the side of the outlet. There was a loud pop and flash and I threw the strip down. The plug began to spark and knew that I had to take it out but didn't want to touch it and end up getting shocked.