non-lucid

October 4, 2005

I was in a school, not the one I go to but I was supposedly writing insults about the principal. I didn't even know him or what he looked like. So everyone was after me. I quickly ran to the nearest elevator, and usually when you get off an elevator in real life it leads to a hallway. This one went smack-dab right in the middle of the library. It was a pretty big library with a ton of computers. There were people at the desk of every computer there and the principal was after me now. (I don't even know how I knew that) So I crawled under all the desks of the computer until someone spotted me and shouted, "Hey! You're the one who was writing insults about the principal!" Then everyone's head turned and looked at me. I ran to the door to get out but it was locked. Then I woke up.

(Backdating this entry because this is a dream that's been on my mind for several weeks now. Originally posted in my private blog November 13, 2010.)

Okay, this sucker is way too weird not to journal about. And I've just awoken from it, so retention should be pretty good - although it was too detailed and involved to easily forget. I'll follow the usual practice of dream recall and work backwards.

The dream ends with me losing my temper at Aidan right after he finds me hiding in his apartment. I'm yelling at him about everything. In fact, true to Clonazepam's side effects, I'm still yelling at him in my head as I'm getting up from my bed after waking up, or rather hearing him yell that this is all a dream now and I'm awake anyway....

He has just discovered me hiding there in a closet in an empty room that he obviously never uses, sitting on a portable potty he's got in there. (Marker of my dreams: there are lots of these fake potties not connected to any plumbing.) I've managed to evade discovery up to now because Aidan's been in the next room (which has a slightly ajar door connecting to this one) writing/singing a song about how much hate is in him bursting to get free, and a variation on the usual bait line about longing for the right woman, this one about how he'll know her because she will see and discover that hate and know what to do with it.

This is after I've just left some other girl, part of Aidan's circle, sleeping in his spare room - we'd been there because Aidan had given me a key and we were stopping there to get ready to go to the party. I'd left her, found a little alcove with a bed, and found this closet and pulled my laptop into it to blog, with the AC cord plugged in around the corner. I was reading a book that the other girl had written. She said she was from Madison, Wisconsin and four of her five sisters were nurses, while the other was a lawyer and she named the firm (I can't remember, but I think one of the names sounded like Blast). I had read a book that was chronicling what had happened in my life five minutes ago. I was making notes all over it. It was fine when I confronted Aidan and R, a well-known Canadian actor, playwright and activist, together and said, "Obviously I'm well known among your friends. How am I known?" (A waking-life concern for several years now.) Whereupon both of them sort of hem and haw and Aidan finally takes it: "Well, the usual comment is when they see you walk into a place, 'That's your stalker? Wow - I'll take her off your hands, man!'"

(In real life, not to be obnoxious about this, but everyone tells me how beautiful I am and how I don't look my age, and I have to say bluntly that I generally agree. But not once - not once - has it meant my romantic feelings for a specific person have ever been returned in kind. So it's a great compliment, and I always appreciate it because I usually forget it as real-life experience doesn't support it, but I do wish it would lead to better results.)

So I'm reading further into this manuscript - which has an advising professors's name on the front page - and it goes on to describe how other girls at the party say things like, "We've all been taken in by crocodile scrips like Colm." (???) I've finished the book and finished arguing with the girl about how non-roadworthy my car is, and obviously the party's over by this time so she goes to bed. I look for a bathroom to use and notice noises indicating that Aidan's home. It'll look like I'm stalking him if I've stayed there.

Cut to before the apartment: It's 4:00 in the morning, and a wafer-thin African-descent hooker named Lola (word in a crossword puzzle three days ago), with blonded Afro hair and a skin-tight micromini sheath, is following me, saying no one cares about her. The other girl with me from the party is getting exasperated, and she turns into Bree from Desperate Housewives. Cut to a moment before: Lola has been eyeing me as if I'm encroaching on her turf, but then she just says, "You done for the night?" "Yeah." "Good night!" "You're beautiful!" Then she follows me, saying no one ever calls her beautiful. My Bree-like friend looks exasperated. "This is Melissa," I say, "and she already knows she's beautiful!" Melissa gives Lola a strained smile. We get to Aidan's building and I say, "This isn't my apartment, so I can't invite you in - but I'll help you find a homeless shelter for the night." Then the details get lost in how I'm using my iPhone to look up hostels online, but that turns out to be a bad idea because they'll ask for a credit card from Lola.

Cut to: My old parking lot in a suburb of Toronto. The Lada is there that my parents gave me in 1989. That thing was ten years old and never worked properly. It was broken into once just for the radio I'd put into it. It doesn't stop on snow unless you press the brake at least five car lengths ahead of time - the brakes are ground almost to nothing. I'm nearly out of gas. Repeatedly, I impress upon Melissa that perhaps driving this thing to a party in North Hollywood, where I would almost certainly be drinking, wouldn't be the sharpest move. She just goes, "Uh-huh," and does up her seatbelt. I sigh and continue to drive, making a mental note to stop at the store near my parents' house, 1500 miles away, for gas before going on the half-hour drive from Toronto to North Hollywood for this geographical confusion of a party.

Cut to R's (said Canadian famous person) estate in LA. I've met a bunch of girls from various parts of the US that are there for a fan convention. Most of Aidan's crowd has left, but some are straggling around passing around the address where the party will be. I don't have it, so I hook up with a bunch of girls who know the address and have GPS in their cars.

Cut to previously mentioned conversation in which R and Aidan reassure me that I'm okay. But this time it's about stalking R!! We also talk about the fact that I'm usually unaware of sex, but when confronted by R's full-frontal naked body, I feel a strange, oddly familiar, and unbidden full-body sensation of pleasure. It's commented, I think by R himself, that this is natural and biological. It occurs to me that pure, plain sex is something I rarely, if ever, think about these days. (And it's true. If I'm ever turned on - and I don't think I am - I don't know it. I'm not certain, but I think it's a side effect of my antidepressants. Possibly when Jeff claps me on the shoulder the way he usually does. What I think of as a "rush of endorphins" when he hugs me might actually be a rush of reproductive hormones, for all I'm aware. I just know I enjoy it.) R is very nice and logical about it, kind of as if he's trying to explain this to a 12-year-old kid entering puberty. (And I think I noticed him favourably in a movie when I was about 16.) But by the end of this conversation, I somehow just want to be around Aidan some more - as if he's raw masculine sexuality, without the complication of actually liking or having any feelings of friendship for him. It's an intriguing feeling.

Prior to this, R is smiling at me and telling me he's sorry he didn't tell me that the pool was a self-contained pool, not a pond connected to the earth. I in turn tell him I was about to apologize for peeing in his pool. And then I'm inside the main house where everyone is drying off, and I'm looking for a place to get to a bathroom and change. The only place avaliable is off R's bedroom, where I walk in to discover him lying naked - only he looks like a giant burnt squid. I still avert my eyes and stick my hand out to block my vision, and I manage to get past him and get to the stall. Meanwhile he wakes up and discovers me there. There's a definite you-are-a-disgusting-stalker colour to being discovered uninvited in a room where an attractive and sought-out man is lying naked.

Before this, I go down to a pond. It's just after dawn, calm and idyllic. I strip down. I'm in the pond, and I decide to relieve my bladder. Then others arrive - all people from Aidan's crowd. It's a closed-off pool. I'm certain the yellow cloud of social-ostracism flag surrounding me is obvious to everyone.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, R and I are doing a scene from MacBeth in which we have to kiss. I'm trying my best not to be obviously attracted to him. He is attracted to me as his character, but when the scene ends, he's an acting teacher. He's even coldly analyzing my kissing technique.

That's pretty much the bulk of what I remember. A few things are obvious in writing this dream down. 1) I must have had to go to the bathroom pretty badly. 2) It's all about my fear of being considered a stalker if I get too familiar and informal around celebrities. 3) There's a slight possibility that I may be feeling the lack of a current boyfriend who is actually in the same city with me.

And 4) It's probably these drugs I'm on that are making my dreams this detailed, complex, convoluted and weird.

Regardless, I know for sure that I'm not an obsessed fan of R in real life, though I do have a good deal of respect for him as an actor and as an activist and teacher. I'm just not the obsessed-fan/stalker type. Getting into that would be just plain dumb. Perhaps he is an attractive man, but that has no relevance to me in waking life and I simply never think about it. I guess I must have seen him on a rerun recently and thought about the romance between his character, a painfully shy scientist, and one of the main characters on the show, and I must have thought of a painfully shy man to whom I've found myself involuntarily attracted lately. Plus, Aidan is still normally not at all attractive to me or even someone I'd normally hang out with. What are either of these two gentlemen doing in my dreams?

Dreams have been pretty repetitive for the past couple of days. MSN conversations, and fragmented sexual escapades. Last night, I had a dream about being on a school bus again. We went to another school, and we were walking through it in a single file line. On that note, it's time to get back into it.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Good morning! Was super tired last night, and slept for a long time. Woke up at 4.00 and did a WBTB, but not a very long one. Although it was enough for me to become lucid!

Sleep: 11.00

04.00: Fragments
*I'm at this big white house. I take a look inside and it's enormous. The ceiling is very high and there are several doors, leading to rooms just in the huge hallway. I close the door and tell some guy I'm with how amazing it is. We walk for a while and end up at a cool sheet of glass, acting as an elevator. My co-worker Snusknicke is there, and he's riding it to the top, only to fall off it. He isn't hurt, and tells me it's so cool. I try to stand under it, and I don't get crushed! But when I jump on it, it's solid. Like in a game.

*A large tanker is standing at a gas station, and it has been cleaned. Some guy is complaining about the way it has been done, and tells me they have no right to do it.

04.00: WBTB: 10 minutes or less.

10.00: Nice control MILD
I'm at work and we're laying down sewage pipes. There's a big block of concrete which the pipes are going in to. I walk away for a while and come back. Everything's almost complete, but I spot something about one of the pipes. "How are we supposed to bend that pipe without breaking it?" I ask. "Well, you can just push down on it, but we do need tennis balls" Björn tells me. I don't think much about it, but figure it's for some kind of hole in need of plugging. I walk away towards the large tennis arena.

Two guys are just about to close the metallic gates. "Wait! Don't close it yet!" I yell at them and they stop. "Hey, I need a few tennis balls. Can I have some? It's work related" They shake their heads. "Sorry... It's closed, and you can't have them for free anyways, if it's work related, you could rent them for around 10k" one of them says. I look around and spot several balls in a fence and up in a tree. I slowly become lucid and reach out towards them with my hand. Six of them comes rushing at me at once, and the guys get nervous.

I make them spin around all of us for a while, and then line them up on the ground infront of us. I start wondering if I could do telekinesis without using my hands. The balls start bouncing around and move at my will. I forget about the guys and focus on a piece of scrap metal on the ground. I grab it with telekinesis and make it fly towards a few cars parked at a wall. I totally destroy one car with the metal, but there is absolutely no sound. I decide to try out what I've been wanting to do lately, just walking around.

I take a good look at my hand, and I notice atleast 4-5 small fingers branching off the larger ones. I then turn around to check how stable the dream is. I appear to be at some kind of dock, and it's pretty grey outside. It must have been dusk. I can see very far over the water, alot further than I can IRL and it's all very clear and vivid. I start walking down the road, with absolutely nothing in mind but keeping the dream stable. I got a very nice buzzing feeling going through my whole body. Every second I stay lucid and the dream is stable is so cool! My head starts to hurt a bit from all the concentrating but I don't mind. I walk on.

"Perhaps it's so stable because I've just taken Calea?" I wonder. There are dumpsters on each side and I feel the texture of one of them as I walk. A homeles pair appear to the right and smiles at me, but I ignore them. After a few more seconds, I must have gotten bored with just walking, and suddenly the gravity gets weaker with each step I take. Each step makes me float more and more, and soon I'm flying through the air. I spot a construction company's name but I forgot about it. I also spot a school and the name is Jach something.

I fly for a while and end up ontop of a roof. The weather is still very grey and quiet. "Haha I bet I will wake up soon" BAM! I start to feel my body, and try to L-DEILD. My hands are feeling very numb, and I'm afraid I am cutting off the blood flow. I get a bit more awake and the feeling goes away. I concentrate for a while, and I get the same feeling back. But I never succeed in going back... I wake up with a headache. Perhaps from sleeping so much, but perhaps from the Calea. I had a headache last time I took it aswell.

Wake up: 10.00

Amount of sleep: 11 hours

Food before bed: 2 x Omega-3, Applejuice
WBTB food: 1 x Calea extract pill

That's it! Feels awesome to have another lucid, and one with great control, and thinking ability! I would say it was the longest I've had in a long time, perhaps 3 minutes or more. But still awesome! I'm not sure, but I think I will do the same thing next time I have a lucid. Just walk around and keep the dream stabilized!

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

(Good morning, everybody. This is a really long entry. Sorry.

I remember three dreams from last night. The first two dreams happened sometime between midnight and 5 AM. The third dream was between about 5:30 AM and 7 AM.

I became lucid in the third dream, and sustained my lucidity for quite a while. But I think it was mainly because I “conserved my energy” and didn’t really try anything out of my normal range of dream-activity.)

Dream #1

I was coming back to “my apartment.” I was walking through a building that itself was as big as a small neighborhood. I walked through one area, a huge room with tall ceilings and wood walls.

As I walked through the area, I went past a young man and woman who were possibly standing outside the door to the woman’s apartment. The door may have been pale blue.

The woman was very pretty, with copper-colored skin and long, straight, black hair. The man was handsome, white, tall, with blonde hair about down to his shoulders. He wore a grey, wool cap and some winter clothes.

The man was telling the woman that he would make sure her move went smoothly. She was apparently moving to another place, and she was nervous about it. I gathered, from the man’s speech to the woman, that the man would make sure she didn’t experience the same harassment she’d experienced at her present apartment.

But as I was walking past the couple (I didn’t actually get very close to them, and I had to exit via another door into another room in order to get to “my building”), the man and woman expressed some kind of concern that I was going to get them in trouble. It was as if, as well as the woman experiencing harassment from some group of people, the man and the woman had themselves been accused of causing trouble in their neighborhood. They thought I was the kind of person who would get them in trouble again.

I walked softly and quickly through the door, trying my best to give an impression to the man and woman that I was nice, that I wouldn’t harass the woman, and that I wouldn’t get the man and woman in trouble – in other words, that I would just mind my own business.

I walked into the next area, which was like a mix between some completely forgotten room or corridor in an enormous mansion and a back alley. A light shone from high above, and at the heights of the room, it was dark as night, though it was light enough near the floor. The walls were wood, and the floor had a pale, blue-grey carpeting. But there was junk everywhere, like tattered cardboard boxes, wadded up pieces of wrapping plastic, and other garbage. There seemed to be turns and staircases here and there, leading up to other “apartment buildings.”

I walked toward my building, which didn’t even have a front door, just a staircase leading up to a winding ramp into darkness. My landlord, an older, black man or woman, stood at the top of or on one of the curves in the ramp. He/she apparently knew I was coming home, so he/she was waiting to welcome me back. I may have been away for a few days, doing something like visiting my family.

I didn’t realize, but the young man had followed me all the way here. My “building,” it turned out, was the building that the young woman would be staying in. I thought that for sure the man would now be panicked. He and the woman had been so afraid to begin with that I would get them in trouble. And now it looked like I had “reverse followed” him all the way to the woman’s new residence.

I tried to act natural and cool, to make the man understand I wasn’t going to do anything mean to him or the woman. I spoke a little bit with the landlord, in a kind of easy, happy tone. I then said I was going to head on in to my room and get a little rest.

As I headed toward my room, through a door along a dim balcony facing at an odd angle to the ramps and the long alley-corridor, I heard the landlord now speaking with the young man. I thought, Why not prove that I’m a good guy, and let the young man see inside my room? Once he sees how lived-in my place is, he’ll know I’ve been here a few years, I’m a decent guy, and that I won’t do anything rude or mean to the woman or him?

So I called attention to the landlord and the young man. I had them come over to my room. I opened the door to my room. The room was humongous and dim. But I could tell, just by glancing inside, that the room was a complete mess – a disaster! Plus, the place just let out a horrendous smell, like tons and tons of socks that hadn’t been washed for months!

I quickly closed the door and told the landlord and young man nevermind, that I must have forgotten what I wanted to tell them. They walked away, kind of disappeared.

I suddenly felt suspicious of the young man. I felt that, now that he’d seen even just a little into my room, and he’d seen where I live, that he’d try to break into my room. I closed my door. I walked slowly away, as if I was trying to put on some kind of show that I didn’t really live in this apartment.

I suddenly recognized that, just beyond my door, the wall to my room only went up to about the middle of my chest. You could see inside the room just by standing out on the balcony. I looked inside, hoping that nothing of value would be easily spotted, prompting the young man to break into my house and steal things.

All I could see, though, anywhere, was a bunch of clutter and garbage. I felt like there was no way I could have left my place this way when I’d left. Had I been that neglectful of things? Or had I been gone so long that my place just kind of dissolved into these shambles of itself?

I walked around the corner of the balcony, now facing some dim corner of the alley-corridor directly, but still having a good view into my room.

Down below, in my room, I saw a huge, pale-blue, L-shaped couch. It was completely torn up. The stuffing of the couch was bloating out of the cushions, and a black, metal frame jutted out the edges.

Suddenly, my mother burst out from the inside of the couch. She scrambled out of the couch cushions. She then rabidly twitched and scratched against the couch, tearing it even more to pieces. She looked terrible, like she’d become some kind of wild animal.

I was terrified by this. But I quickly became indignant. Who had allowed my mother into my apartment? I ran down the balcony to find someone to complain to.

I ended up on some dark hilltop, under a small tree. It was pitch black night, but I could see, as if a car from somewhere were shining its lights on the scene. There were a few people wandering around, possibly Hispanic.

I found my father, who was almost cartoonishly wide. He was also dressed somewhat like a clown, in red clothes with pink and orange polka-dots. He may even have worn a clown-nose.

I yelled at my dad, “Why did you let my mom into my apartment?”

My dad gave me some kind of excuse that sounded half-hearted but official, so that I couldn’t really argue against it.

Dream #2

I was in a subway station, waiting for the train to come. I was in a far-off, unfamiliar neighborhood, and I had been doing some kind of activity that made me tired and ready to go back somewhere familiar.

The subway station was more like the lobby for a building like a hospital. I sat at a table in an area that looked like a makeshift café. The serving counter may have been in a small room, off to my right. Behind me, there may have been the main lobby area, large and bright, with a lot of sunlight flowing through the window-walls.

To my left was a wide doorway, through which I could see one subway platform. Through a kind of dim, plasticky window at the opposite end of the room and in front of me, I could see another subway platform.

I pulled out a book, crossed my legs, slumped in my chair, and started reading. A couple of teenage boys sat down a couple of tables away from me. They were making jokes with each other, pretty relaxed. They seemed cool. But for some reason, I didn’t want them to notice me. I thought they might start trouble.

Suddenly I could see, from some kind of reflection, that the train on the platform to my left was coming. It seemed to be coming without warning and very quickly. In a rush, the boys and I stood up from our tables and ran to the platform.

But I didn’t want the boys to know I got on this train. I felt that if they knew this about me they could hurt me somehow. So I tried to act like I wasn’t getting onto this train.

But when I got out to the platform (which was huge, wide, with tall ceilings, nothing like in NYC), the train wasn’t there. I heard the rushing of a train to my left. I looked and saw, down the platform, and up at the top of a tall staircase, a different train arriving at another platform. Was it just that train I’d heard? But I could have sworn I’d seen the train arrive on this platform, as well as heard it.

I looked down into the well for the train and tracks for my platform – and was terribly shocked! Instead of tracks, the floor was completely empty, trackless, and painted a bright yellow. There were no tracks! No train could ever have arrived here! But I was sure this was where the train was supposed to be – where I had actually seen it arrive!

I felt terribly foggy all of the sudden, as if I had fallen into a different world.

I heard the train on the second platform, off to my right, arriving. I thought I’d take that train. But I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere close to where I wanted to go. I knew I’d just have to take this train, at this platform, whenever it came, no matter how long it took.

So I went back into the café area to go back to reading my book.

Dream #3

I was in my great-grandmother’s house. I had apparently been there for a long time. The place looked nothing like it had looked while my great-grandmother was alive: it was dim, grey-blue, and strewn garbage, household items, and even streams of toilet paper.

I walked around in the kitchen and dining room, possibly picking up and eating and drinking pieces of food and drink that had been left out for a long time on dirty plates and in dirty, grimy cups. There may also have been dirty, rusty knives, or something like that, somewhere.

I walked back into the living room. I felt like I had isolated myself in my great-grandmother’s house for so long. It had been days. Here I’d been, back home all this time, and I hadn’t visited my mother once!

I thought I’d give her a call and let her know I was at my great-grandma’s house, and that she could come visit me or maybe even pick me up so we could go somewhere to visit with each other. But I hesitated – I now felt so guilty having neglected my mother for all these days, that I knew just calling her would cause me a lot of heart-breaking pain.

I was suddenly in “my bedroom” at “my house.” The room was clean, a little barren. Nice sunlight flowed in through the window. It was cheerful enough. But it felt somehow lonely – not just lonely, but sterile, padded.

Something about this feeling made me realize I was dreaming. I realized I was now lucid. I told myself to keep calm and just go exploring this place as if it were a real environment.

(Oddly enough, when I became lucid, I may have “transformed” into a tallish, white, young man with tanned skin, blue eyes, and short-shaved, blonde hair. I have no idea why.)

I walked out of the bedroom and into “my living room.” I was in a suburban house. The house looked small and nice. But it was completely empty. It had thick, brown carpet.

I walked very slowly, to keep my emotions calm. I was heading for the front door. This was a kind of challenge for me, and I knew (even in my dream-state), that I had to keep calm in order to do this. I knew, I remembered (the truth, not a false memory – I mean, insofar as etc., etc.) that when I’d become lucid indoors in the past, my lucidity would end as soon as I walked outside, as if I hadn’t believed my imagination could “create” an outdoor space.

I got to the door. It had a strange bolt-lock on it, which I thought was kind of over-doing things. I worked the lock out and pulled open the door.

It was a bright, sunshiny day in a suburban neighborhood. I told myself to remain calm, remember this was all a dream, and just explore the place like it was a real environment.

My front yard was a tangle of flowery vegetation and rough, dark shrubs. There was a driveway off to my right, with a big, brown, 1970s-style car.

A blonde man, very tan, with a long tangle of hair and beard, was messing around near “my car.” He looked crazy, and I was afraid of him. But I was also pissed that he was messing around my car. So I yelled at him, “Hey! Hey! What are you doing?”

The crazy man hunched up (he never really stood) and turned toward me. He shouted and growled and barked all kinds of weird things at me and started rambling toward me violently. For some reason, he was holding a Panini and a paper plate in his hands, as if he had been eating a Panini when he’d seen my car and decided to vandalize it or rip it off.

It seemed as if the crazy man were going to try to invade my home. So I yelled at him, “Don’t you come near!”

The neighbor from the house to my left, an Asian man, in his late 30s or early 40s, wearing glasses, a pink-red polo shirt, and khaki shorts, walked out of his house and into my yard. He’d heard the commotion and was coming to help me.

I yelled again at the crazy man to back off and not to come anywhere near my home. But I also tried to make it seem to my neighbor like I had the situation under control. I felt like this crazy man was somehow important to whatever I was supposed to learn from this lucid dream. So I had to keep him at a distance without scaring him away entirely. I also wanted to make sure my neighbor didn’t scare away the crazy man.

Off to my right, in my garden, I saw a strange plant that looked like a Cleome topped with a cabbage. The cabbage was pink and white, like Cleome flowers.

Somehow, either my yelling my neighbor’s yelling had finally scared away the crazy man. He ran off. I, and possibly my neighbor, ran after him.

He ran down toward a chain link fence that ran along the crest of a kind of tall, kind of steep, cliff-like hill. I was calling to the crazy man to stop. I wasn’t trying to do him harm. But my neighbor was running faster than me, and he was chasing the crazy man quite violently.

The crazy man found a bent-up part of chain-link fence and crawled under it. I followed. I saw the crazy man run down the steep, brown hill-face, jumping into a shallow, muddy river or creek at the bottom.

My neighbor was still ahead of me, intent on capturing the crazy man. But once the crazy man was in the water, he did something to himself so that my neighbor could no longer see him. He had changed his wild, blonde hair into a weird, pink, green, and white, spiky flower style, looking like a hairdo-mix of a Cleome and a lotus. He ducked down low in the creek so that only his head was above water.

But I could still see that it was the crazy man. I wondered why my neighbor couldn’t. Nothing was different about the crazy man’s face: it was just his hair that looked like a lotus floating on the water.

I could see that the crazy man was drifting toward a group of copper-skinned, black haired children who were playing and splashing about near the creek’s banks. I thought that it might be a good idea to get the crazy man away from the children. He had gone over to them to blend in with them until we left. But I had a feeling that if he suddenly went crazy again, he could hurt the kids.

But now the crazy man and my neighbor were gone. I stood in some rocky area, looking down to the kids playing in the creek. At some point I looked over to my right and saw that there was a subway station, just jutting in a platform out of the hill, as if it were half-finished, forgotten. But it also looked new, clean, modern, even futuristic. And it was functional.

I saw some kids, maybe pre-teen or teenage, playing around near the platform, waiting for the train. I was up near the top of the hill now (which, instead of being muddy or earthy, was now rocky). I was at a pretty level view with the platform and with the kids. I hoped they wouldn’t notice me, because I didn’t want them to start trouble with me.

My emotions got so unstable that I felt my lucidity fading away.

But instead of the dream continuing, not lucid, everything blacked out. I told myself, you’re losing your lucidity. You’re waking up altogether. Go back to being in the dream, and being lucid.

So now I was back in the dream, lucid. I lay, stomach down, over some ledge of rock, looking down to some of the kids playing in the creek. They may have been a boy and a girl. They noticed me and started handing me toys to play with with them. One of the toys was a plastic horse.

I played around with the horse a little bit, then handed it back to the kids, who went back into the water.

I walked into the subway station. Inside, it seemed like it had become night. The station was lit gently with a kind of street-quality, greenish, fluorescent flood-lamp. The walls were a brownish stone, and the floors were some kind of granite-like grey. There was a downward staircase in the center of the lobby-area, and there were a few different corridors leading off from the main lobby-area.

I walked down one of the corridors off to my right. I heard a bunch of teenage kids who sounded like they were joking and having a good time. I decided that I should probably talk with the kids instead of being nervous and shy around them. This was a dream, and I was here to explore whatever I ran into.

So I saw the kids. They were a group of white boys and girls, dressed in kind of loose baggy sweaters and wool caps. They were making a bunch of jokes which struck me as intelligent and funny. I thought I’d talk to them. But they really didn’t pay any attention to me. So, rather than trying to hard to get their attention and getting hostile attention, I walked down another corridor.

But now I heard somebody calling for me. I wound around through the corridors, back to the area where the kids had been. It had definitely sounded like one of the boys, calling me back to be part of the group.

But when I got back to the area – something like a lobby, with a long, wooden counter at the front of the room, and a tall, nice painting on the cinder-block wall to my left – there were no kids, only two women. The women were both naked. They walked toward me, side by side.

The woman on the right was very tall, maybe a foot taller than I (or “I” in the dream). She was naked, but she wore a dark-blue plume of feathers as a headdress and a spray of dark blue feathers around her waist and back. She looked like a burlesque performer.

The woman on the left was still taller than I, maybe by an inch or two. She was pale, with long, curly, light-red hair. The women were both offering themselves to me for sex. I chose the shorter woman.

The woman stood right in front of me, almost to the point of pressing up to me. I asked her a question, and she replied. Satisfied, I began kissing her body.

We had sex in two or three different positions. But in one position I realized I was just doing a terrible job, and that I must just be making a weird situation for the woman, even though she did at least appear to be having fun. Regardless, I got so ashamed of what I perceived as being my stupid clumsiness that I woke up.

I was inside of Ezio's estate, and I knew the assassin well. He was having a metting of various people inside of his estate, and I gladly invited myself to it - although I didn't really know anything of the tactics they were planning. Instead I found myself heading upstairs with some other girls, though I kind of wish I hadn't. Instantly I found they were Courtesans, and there to keep another assassin occupied.

When he saw me, though, he asked the Courtesans to leave. What ensued was a short conversation, followed shortly by what was - essentially - him asking my permission to have sex with me. I don't know whether I said yes or no, but I probably said no. This didn't stop him from doing "other things."

This part of the dream was kind of blurred, except for the basics. I understood we both took "turns" as a kind of way to explore each other's bodies and see what we liked to do and what it did to the other person. When he started to go for my neck, I readily enjoyed it.

Then I was waking up and getting dressed again - I don't know how far we went in the dream - I paused, because something felt wrong. The assassin was still sleeping in the bed, but it was raining outside. There was a flashlight on the ground, and I picked it up on instinct. Not a moment too soon, either. The lights suddenly turned off with an audible snapping noise, and since we were located on a hillside, I found that half of the city below us had lost power, too.

The television in the room flicked on, and I found myself freezing as fear flooded through me. Voices and whispers originated from the television, and with an audible shout of fear, I found myself sprinting down the staircase and downstairs. I wanted Ezio. He would be able to protect me. I tried to hide inside of a room, but its features were distorting and changing. I threw a hoodie and pants on as fast as I could and then I was sprinting outside, into the pouring rain.

It switched to Ezio's point of view, then, with the assassin feeling a kind of dread. He had remembered hearing me shout, and had gotten up to investigate, only to find me not in his estate at all. He went upstairs, and found nothing. Then double backed and followed the trail leading out to the front door. Getting a Courtesan with him, Ezio got a carriage together and began to investigate the town.

The first stopped turned up empty. As did the second. And the third. With every stop, the assassin got worse and worse, more anxious to find me. . . And eventually, he noticed a tightly-curled little ball of a person underneath a lamplight.

He jumped off of the carriage and sprinted to me, dropping to his knees beside me. He began to touch me, asking me what was wrong, but I was quiet. I felt like I was drugged, like I was another person entirely, and the world just felt wrong.

I woke up before I could tilt my head to look up at him.

I was on the subway with MA and KA. We were supposed to go to MA's house or something. When we were about to board the bus, we had trouble deciding which one to go on. KA said she wanted to go on one that was a 2 hour long bus ride to go to the airport or something like that. We got on it but then I said it was ridiculous. We then got on another bus.

I think eventually we were at the subway again, debating over whose house to go to. MA said we could go to her house, and I really wanted to (at one point in the dream I did slightly wonder why I would even bother hanging out with her) for some reason. But KA kept saying that we should go to her house. Eventually we got on a bus but it ended up being the one to KA's house; I got annoyed and made us switch directions.

---

I was eating popcorn, and was about to get the cheese flavoring. The dream then faded.

Fragments: Dream Share
In the dream, I've just had a shared dream with my brother and William Shatner. I compare notes with my brother, and he tells me the details of his version. My recall of that dream is somewhat poor, but all the main elements are there.

I think I was in a church? And I had to walk through it, and I did so with my middle fingers up in the air? lol? The people in there were looking, staring me down as I did it.

Some kind of creature person that looked like 'she' was from a scary movie. I know there is more to that part but I can't think of any of it.

CJ and I... and something more to do with the creature girl.

Dream 1-- Home Training with Ninjas and Cats

This dream starts out in a miscellaneous location that I cannot recall off the top of my head. What's happening is that me and the other "ninjas" in Ninjitsu are doing drills by lining up and then all completing the same technique, then running to the back of the line. I don't remember actually completing any technique, but I remember looking at the line, and watching people do it. I remember looking at Sensei, standing with his arms crossed and not looking particularly impressed by anything that was going on.

Suddenly, the drills are still going on, but now they are in my house-back-in-Dallas's kitchen. I think there was this white ladder-like thing that people had to climb before they could perform the technique. I sat down in a chair, eating some chips while they all did the technique because I didn't want to stand in the line, but I was still prepared to have my turn I think.

After a while, the scene changes again, and all the people are gone, it ends up being night time, and there is black cat rubbing up against me. Now, I have a cat in my house, but she is orange and white striped. When this black cat starts touching me, I turn into what I have deemed "passive observer." This state is a crucial dream sign for me and is basically where I no longer identify with a body or actually do much of anything. Instead, I am just thinking about what is going on and watching the dream as if it were a movie that I have no control over or stake in.

So, this cat rubs up against my leg, and I use my hand to pet its head. I get this thought that's like I wonder if cats like to be handled this way and what would be the best way for someone to pet me if I were a cat. So I stop petting the cat and it rubs up against my leg again, presumably to get pet again. I am thinking now about why I would rub up against someone's leg if I were a cat (my dreams can be super-analytical sometimes because that's who I am in real life). I don't do anything and the cat remains unmoving, while still contacting my leg, for about 4 seconds, realizes it won't get pet, and then walks away.

Then, it comes back with two other cats in tow. This part of the dream is really confusing, because I was semi-playing with the cats, and they randomly became kind of hostile. I think this dream brought me back to my childhood where I would mess around with and abuse my cat.

I try to incorporate my dreams into my real life because I think they are intimately connected. I try to find those connections within my dreams and see what my subconscious is trying to get me to remember or do in the future.

Anyway, I'm still in my kitchen and these three cats are just walking around. I have a blanket and I playfully throw it over one so that it is completely covered. I have done this to my cat many times, and it would freak out, and sprint up the staircase to hide under a bed. I found this really funny at the time but looking back it was pretty abusive and silly.

So in the dream, the cat doesn't really find that amusing. I take a hold of the blanket again, and the cat starts walking toward me. For some reason I have this thought that the cat is being hostile, so I start backing up until I back up into a wall. The cat continues to approach me so I raise the blanket up to my neck to protect myself. The cat, who looks like a male version of my cat at home, starts to get up on his hind legs and climb the blanket with his front paws. I start to get scared about what would happen and that this cat could potentially claw the shit out of my face.

I think at this point I wake up.

Dream 2-- Detention in the College Kitchen

This dream was rather long, but I can only remember bits and pieces of it.

The general setting is that I am in a cafeteria, and I am serving detention for I don't know what. There are DCs that all seem to me to be relatively dumb but also surprisingly cool. As in, I become a passive observer by analytically assessing the situation and determining that I am not as cool as everyone around me and I'm trying to notice their movements/gestures/words so that I can copy them in the future. I don't really DO much of anything in this dream except observe while the action happens all around me. In my opinion, it's not awful because I'm really interested in figuring how I see the world, but at the same time it serves as a constant reminder about who I am in real life because I will totally zone out during conversations or parties just because I'm so caught up in my head.

Anyway, enough about my problems this is a DJ. So, I am in this large cafeteria with brown tables and yellow walls. It doesn't remind me of any place in particular, but definitely looks like a cafeteria. The first DC I run into is this guy with a buzz cut and a moustache. He reminds me of a thin version of Ryan from my Spanish class, who I don't really talk to except this one time where he brought up that he really likes to smoke weed. I guess it stuck with me.

Thinking about it, this dream is really scattered and fuzzy. The event that stands out to me the most is that there was this poster that someone gave to either me or my friend as a gift in the dream. It was a green poster board with magnets in the shape of dicks placed on it. There were three dick-magnets on the green posterboard, and the guy said that combined they managed to accurately point north or something.

There were marking on the posterboard and I wanted to measure it and figure out if it was legit. I took out a six inch ruler, which I apparently had in my hands, and starts to measure to angle of the distance between the dick-magnets or something. As I got more and more into it, I forgot what I was doing, and I would be blinking and seeing that more pencil would appear on the board even though I wasn't actually drawing anything. I thought the dick-magnets were really funny when I first saw them.

Dream 3-- Tim Jang and Frat Guys Make me Sleepy

This dream was short. It was night time and I was hanging out with Tim Jang, from my high school, and frat guys from college. I always feel out of place in these kind of dreams, where there is partying and alcohol and drugs just because I have abstained from them for the sake of trying to meditate and find my higher self.

So, they are smoking weed and are probably cross-faded at this point, we all walk into an apartment. I am totally passive observer at this point, and I am tired. I can recognize that I am tired because my thoughts feel really heavy and incoherent, my eyes are only 75% open. So I decide to lay down on the bed even though everyone else is still having a party and doing their own thing. I have regrets about doing this even in the dream but I feel like I have no choice because I am so tired and am not conversing with anyone anyways.

When I wake up, all the frat guys are gone but Tim Jang is there. I don't really understand where we are and I look down to see my Halloween costume, which was a large white board acting as my Fbook wall, totally covered in the marks from the guys. The board in my dream didn't really resemble the board of real life because it had two actual status updates from me, which I couldn't read. Something I've found interesting, though, is that text in my dreams is usually legible and will actually keep stable when I look away and look back if I am paying enough attention to notice.

So, I get a little sad/pissed off knowing that my board just got ruining and that I fell asleep when everyone else was having fun. Tim and I decide to walk back to the dorms, but I don't know where we are. We discuss it for a little bit, and then start to walk. Then I wake up.

My mom, me, and two of her sisters were inside of what was supposed to be my Mom's house. It was a little like the house she grew up in. We were all getting ready to walk outside to go somewhere when we heard a terrible wind- one so strong that I thought the house might fall apart. The wind didn't last long though, and soon it was sunny and beautiful outside. I went out to look around. I couldn't see any damage from the wind, and everything looked as usual- except for a strange spot in the air. I was like space was distorted in the shape of a 20-foot-tall jellyfish. I could see through it, but there were streaks of "air" that were smeared and slightly opaque. I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of it. It seemed familiar to me in my dream, like I had seen or heard of this phenomenon before, so I wasn't afraid. I attributed it to the large wind that had just ripped through, and assumed it would dissipate over time. I laid down on the ground to get a shot of the sun rays piercing through the anomaly and as I was focusing my shot, I saw that the thing was moving, and that it was much much larger and farther away than I had initially thought. Almost immediately after this realization I saw that it was a giant light bulb, the size of a house, and then it crashed to the ground, glass shattering everywhere. I was far enough away that only tiny shards of glass showered me, but didn't cut me as they probably would have in real life. Still in shock, I got up, and looked farther down the road and saw a giant lamp shade and lamp base (both the size of skyscrapers) crash from the sky. I ran inside and explained to my mo what had just happened. I told her that I wondered if the recent creation of tiny black holes by the LHC was responsible for this. All I could imagine was that reality as we knew it was breaking down or universes were colliding, expanding, shifting, distorting…something very serious.

I turned on the television to find the news. I couldn't find anyone speaking about these events. I couldn't think of anyone else to call so I called my ex and asked him if he had noticed anything. He hasn't heard about anything, but he came over. My mom was making some kind of sugar cookies. They looked already cooked, but she is puts them on a baking sheet and throws them in the oven. She offered one to my ex. He took one and so did I.

My mom's ex-husband was there instead of her current one. We were all in survival mode. I went to the garage at the back of the house and I heard cats meowing, as if they were crying, and it seemed to be coming from the walls. I ran to the backyard where my two dogs had been. They were gone. To my left, where my dog Mina had been, I saw a large 4' X 3' baking pan filled with what looked like a chocolate cake or uncut brownies. There was a face on it, and it looked scared. I was terrified of it, it seemed to be looking at me. I picked up some nearby garbage (packing material or insulation?) and threw it at the thing. The trash was light, so it didn't hurt the thing, but some of it fell in it's mouth. I turned to run and I heard it pitifully ask, "Help?" I turned around, "Are you ok?" The thing was looking at me, and said in a frightened voiced tinged with nervous laughter, "I..I don't know" and it tried to smile. I started to go back and get the trash out of the cake's mouth, but I was too scared to approach it. I told the thing, "It will come out on it's own eventually," and tried to fake a smile.

I ran back inside to tell everyone what I had just seen. My ex was already inside telling my family about the thing, he had encountered it before me it seems. It now was apparent to me that this thing was previously my old dog Mina. I ran back out to it and out to look for Nadja, my other dog. I saw another cake pan, with something pink inside…but before I can run to it, we all saw a small injured white cat walking slowly towards us. My mom's ex says, "I heard that t he cats are "mascots" and they don't change, but they are preyed upon by other things." The cat was very sick but came to us willingly. We brought it inside and looked for food to feed it.

Once we are inside, something started shooting as us from outside in the backyard. My mom's ex, who now looks like a stranger and perhaps isn't supposed to be her ex, was fighting back and had a massive supply of weapons scattered all over the living room floor. I wanted to help fight, so I looked for something I could use. I touched a few guns and knives but realized that I didn't know how to use any of them. One strange metal medieval-looking cross-bow/sword started to move on its own. It had been infected/effected by whatever was happening to reality. I grabbed a weapon that looks like a flashlight, and I pounded the thing until it was smashed and not moving.

My mom screamed as she opened a trunk in the dining area. "Another alligator head!" One of the men in the room grabbed it, it was alive even though it was a bodiless head, and he kicked it outside the front door, where I could see dozens of other live alligator heads chattering around the front yard.

We had to run outside from the shooting, and soon we ended up in an urban city-scape that seemed deserted. Things still fell from the sky, and I knew the reality breakdown was progressing.

A flock of sparrows flew up to us. We threw some bread to them. "They are normal!, they are real!" someone yelled. "Yeeesss, weee are reeaallll…" the sparrows all droned together.

I woke up at this point, wrote everything down, and decided to go back to sleep and re-enter this dream, but stay lucid. I was successful, for a short time:

I was back in the house, but no one else was there. I could see white walls in front of me, and two small puppy faces merged into the walls, as if a small husky and a small bulldog melted into the wall with only their faces left unconsumed. "I am dreaming, so I don't have to be afraid of them," I thought. As I grabbed the husky I saw that he wasn't melted into the wall like I thought, I just hadn't been able to see the rest of his body. I pulled him out and pulled out the bulldog too, and then I lost lucidity.

I saw my mom, and kept trying to tell her about this crazy dream I just had. She was busy with some paper work, and eventually I got the idea that I was being annoying.

Later my littlest sister and I were out riding bikes through the neighborhood, which now looked ravaged. We were trying to help a group of people. Something scary happened at a house…(can't remember what) I woke up again.

non-dream - non-lucid - lucid

12/11/10 I am putting this one in a separate entry as it occurred during an afternoon nap.

I am in a supermarket, or rather I am listening to the story of a guy who is not allowed back into the supermarket although his friends are in there drinking beer. He says that if he knew he wouldn't be able to get back in he would have stopped for a beer like his friends. It doesn't make it better that he can see them laughing at him from the other side of a window screen where he is trying to get them to help. They are pretty drunk apparently.

Skip (There seem to be a continuous temporal structure to the dream, but a radical change of scenery takes place here and there)

I am supposed to go meet some friends of mine (I actually had to do this) and I promised Ronja I would pop by with some groceries. I obtain these groceries at a meeting of some kind, seems a bit like a therapeutic setting (the details are a bit unclear). The groceries are some she has left from a prior party or gathering of some description and includes half a sack of coal and numerous rectangular boxes. Nothing weird about that, I pick it up and head to her flat, I am speaking to multiple people on the way out and even ask one of them to hold the door, which isn't like me considering my total social ineptitude. As I get out of the main door the bottom of the bag drops and I am forced to put the boxes in the half empty (Not sure if this it is thinking positive or negative here, from Ronja's perspective I would come across as negative seeing I am referring to her lack of coal, but it is a positive thing for me that there is enough space to fit the remaining groceries inside the sack, I suppose optimism isn't an absolute variable independent of context. Philosophical ruminations aside and back to the dream) sack of coal, and although it is an anoying situation that will further obstruct me from meeting my friends I join in with the random laughs the situation is sparking from bystanders, I mean come on the situation is actually a cliché so just go with it when it happens, right? I get to Ronja's block, which is located in Hornslet and the building is way to tall for anything that exists in that little town. I feel a bit down again as I know it will take a bit of time to get all the way to the top. I try and cheat my pulling out my mouse and clicking on a very small area towards the top of the building to call the lift. This is where I start realising that something is off. “Hang on a minute, my interactions with those people back there and this”. I check my hand and although all fingers are there my index finger and the one next to the pinky (sorry too lazy and busy to look up the actual name of it) are growing shorter. Right, Dreaming! I fly up a bit, lending a brief contemplation to how easy it would be to go and drop off the groceries now, and how utter pointless it would be to even try. I see a man up there and call out “Hey! you know we are dreaming right?” “Yeah sure” he replies sincerely. I get down activate my senses in order to promote stabilisation and start touching a lot of things. The road that should have a stony asphalt sort of feel to it feel an awful lot like a mixture between rubber and the wooden floor you would find in a sports arena, weird. There is some more scaffolding in the surrounding and a man is walking up the street in the same direction as me. I go over to him intending to introduce myself, but I realise it is my old school friend Thomas. I tell him we are dreaming, and he seems to handle it with a bit of difficulty trying to run away from. He runs in a weird zig zag fashion trying to get away from me. We end up fighting and although he is no match for me I am not quite able to throw him far away into the galaxy as I intended with my first move and he keeps coming back as I keep grabbing his wrist and kicking him in the torso. Some woman appear and join the fight, but I would rather just kiss her so holding on to Thomas, I grab the woman's arm in the other and sort of position her between us as she strikes. I kiss her and I can see her cheeks gaining colour and a small smile arise. I later try to get rid of Thomas to get with the woman, but she refuse me and Thomas keeps coming back, damn! I try to force her a bit as I have heard DCs can be easily persuaded, but I wake up prematurely to lend empirical support to that theory.

November 12, 2010

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am at a sleepover, and Mr. Steeper is the parent supervising. I am in a room with a large bed and comforters all over the floor. Emily, Nicole, and someone else are on the floor with blank stares, unmoving. A little girl with black hair is on the bed, laughing. Sam is there as well, and she is being her usual Sam self, yelling and getting excited over nothing. Mr. Steeper comes and checks on us, and with no surprise, he is wearing his usual HTS faculty golf shirt and the track suit pants with the shirt tucked in. We eat something of some significance, I have a feeling it was to do with pirates for some reason. I have to go to the bathroom, so I walk outside the room. I am in Megan Sherifovski’s house. The tiles on the lower floor are still white marble, and the staircase is the same, curved and not carpeted. I walk down the staircase and look around for the bathroom. Then I remember, this is Megan’s house. The bathroom is to the right of the staircase. I look up and see movement. There is Megan in a short white flowy dress, gracefully pacing back and forth. She must know that I am here in her house at a sleepover that is not hers. I walk over to the bathroom. Wait. Why would Mr. Steeper be in Megan’s house? I must be dreaming! Everything goes white, then flashes to colour. I am excited, but then I calm myself down. I can feel my dream body and I move around. I am in no particular place, just surrounded by flashing light. I think this must be a very unstable dream. I can feel the dream fading, so I decide to spin. I try to spin, but my surroundings are so strange that I can’t tell if I am spinning or not. I wake up.

My first lucid dream!

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

22:00 GMT

Hiking, cooking and walking
I’m climbing up some mountain with my BF. On the way we meet local pilgrims and a French lady. The path is full of Buddhist sacred places, like this huge terraced slope with thousands of small golden Buddha statues.
This French lady knew nothing about Buddhism so he was feeling awkward with the pilgrims offerings and prayers. But we talked to her and then she was starting to actually enjoy the whole thing. She spotted a statue that had fallen backwards and went there to put it up again. She left a golden coin on top of that Buddha. Then I noticed it was the only one really shiny around, as if it was new. All the others were darkened by age and weather.
When we reached the summit of this mountain, we found some houses and tables on the outside. There was a culinary competition going on with people from all over the world. It had just ended and people were stowing their dishes and pans and glass bowls. I helped. Some Italians were talking about a sci-fi series that didn’t air because it was just bad, like a B-series kind of movie. Then like a vision, I get to see some scenes from the series and it’s really cheesy. The spaceships are just cruise boats with their lights on over a dark, star-lit sky. Then there’s this main character who is simply a klingon but with 1000 eyes all over his body. It’s just bad and I laugh.
Then we’re all downhill, at my mom’s kitchen, were the award ceremony takes place. I’m surprised that all the Italians get awarded, but so the French, Spanish, and many many others, mostly Europeans. I wonder what kind of competition is this, where everybody is awarded. I’m bored and I go to the window. I see a gay couple walking outside on the back alley and I think why don’t they go up the hill, do the same pilgrim’s path we did, but telepathically they say they are not interested, because it seems exhausting. OK, just a suggestion. At this moment I am half-lucid and I think about going to visit the Flea Market near my home. In RL it is tens of kms from my mom’s home, but this is dream world... So as I walk my way there, I’m feeling really amused and I am singing Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” and dancing. People look at me but I couldn’t care less – dream, remember? Then I realise I already walked too much and passed by the street that goes up to the Flea Market. As I turn back I bump into my BF who decided to follow me. I tell him it’s better we take the bus back to the place, 'cause I'm tired of walking.

4:40 GMT

“I’m nobody” and snake venom
I’m on some weird place with Buddhist people I know. People are sitting down on chairs and that’s when I realise they are waiting for our guru to come. I then see the place prepared for him to seat and luckily I get a sit just in front of it. But I get tired of waiting and waiting and decide to go for a walk, leaving something on the chair to mark my seat.
When I am on some kind of lobby of this building, some other old guru comes in. I have this weird feeling of coming out of my body and I start floating in the air, involuntarily. I feel like a cloud with no defined shape or form. He passes by me and I come down a little bit. He holds my hands (so I did had hands!) and he smiles looking deeply into my eyes (so I guess I also had eyes!). He asks “Who’s this girl?” and someone from the staff replies with a couldn’t-care-less look “She’s nobody!”. First I feel a bit upset but then I also smile and reply “Yes, I’m nobody.” And he releases my hands and continues his way. I follow him back to that teaching’s room where people are waiting on their seats. But on my way I pass by a corridor which has lots of young boys and girls sitting on the floor and some neons or billboards hanging from the ceiling above. For some reason, some of the boys start to tease me, trying to provoke a fight. Because it is kind of playing, I play along and I defend myself, but then they get serious and I have like 4 or 5 attackers simultaneously both from my left and my right. But my kung fu is strong and I kick their asses, although not really understanding what they want from me. I then get on some kind of skateboard I see nearby and I slide out of there.
I end up on the end of some long corridor and tired, I simply lay down on a sofa that is on the corner. Then some Russian lay who is cleaning the floor, starts cleaning around the sofa and then the sofa itself. I am like “Really? Couldn’t you wait that I get out?” But she is really sweet lady and she rubs my shoulders and gives me a head massage. How nice of her! But she never says a word. Then a door just in front of us opens up and I see a kind of clinic lab. A nurse or whatever is taking blood samples or vaccinating a person. I go inside and I see two guys collecting snake venom for cosmetics. But the snake goes crazy and is spitting venom like a water hose. They warn me to be careful, cause no venom can fall on my eyes or mouth or I’ll die. But I do get all covered in venom everywhere else.

6:30 GMT

Beams of light in my hands
I am in some shared room with other people. I am trying to have some rest but it’s too crowded. Then the Russian lady appears again and she’s cleaning the room. I find out there’s a room next door which has just been emptied and I take all my stuff to there. As I am cleaning up the bed which is full of crumbles of previous guests, the Russian lady comes in again – is she stalking me in dreams? – and she also seems surprised that I’m there. She still hasn’t said a word but we kinda communicate telepathically. I tell her I’m staying in this room and she seems to be ok with it. She won’t tell anybody. She just needs to do her job and clean it up to. In the end she hands me over a very nicely scented soap for my shower.
Then I am (again) among this people who came to listen to a guru. But this time when entering the place of the teachings, I slide through the floor to some really good seats and pass in front of everybody who is simply walking – bad luck for them! This time this “room” is on some open air space, like a terrace. The guru comes in, he is very old (I guess the same from previous dream) and he needs a translator because his English is not so good. People are eager for him to start, but then the mic doesn’t work and we can’t hear a thing of what either him or the translator are saying. People complain but no one seems able to fix it and the guru doesn’t stop, he keeps going as if he didn’t care if people are listening or not. I make an effort, but then I give up and go to the terrace handrail to see the views and I notice the terrace is actually a boat deck. Below is the ocean and smaller boats are sailing around. Someone shows concern over me being so close to the limit of the deck, so I decide to play with this person, by letting myself fall on the water – of course I didn’t really hit the water, I simply flew up and appeared on some other spot on the deck, but sure it was fun to see his/hers (?) face. I’m half-lucid by now but the dream starts to fade. My peripheral vision reduces as lately it’s been happening on fading LDs and everything becomes a bit dark. I ask some DCs around me to help me stay in the dream, by holding me down. It’s a weird strategy but kind of works. The dream stabilizes a bit more, but the darkness doesn’t go away. The DCs look scared and I provide some light to them by emitting white beams from the palms of my hands. They seem amazed and thankful, but I end up waking up anyway.

8:00 GMT

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


22:00 GMT

Undergroung radio station
On a big room, like a school canteen or lounge area, at night. It’s semi-dark, but I can see tables and chairs piled up. Whoever was around is leaving the place but I stay behind, hidden, because I want to explore some basements below. I found out there’s a -1 level which is used for storage and a -2 level that is attracting my curiosity. After descending some stairs to -1 basement, there’s a square hatch to a -2 level. I touch the walls and find some metal ladder to go down. Then I can’t see a thing, it’s pitch black and I can’t find any light switch.
Then I hear voices of a group of girls coming. I am hopeful they’ll stay in level -1, but they actually come down the hatch and I’m trapped. I decide not to make a big deal out of it. They know where the light is and turn it on. I smile at them. Luckily they didn’t shit their pants when seeing me there. Apparently there was also nothing so important down there, because they were not upset with my presence. The first half of the space was also for storage, but then they invited me in to the second half, much cosier, full of posters from the 80’s on the walls. It was an amateur radio station, they used to run when they were school girls! They tell me their old stories, we plaid some music, we spent a good time.

0:30 GMT

Fragment
Similar dream – probably continuation of previous dream – but can’t recall details. Also something about my cat and my BF.

2:00 GMT

Trying to stabilize a WILD
I fall asleep and I enter a dream lucid. Just hold on to some images passing by and started to dream, but control and lucidity were a bit weak. I felt sleepy and tired as if my awaken-life body was still too present on my mind. I felt that if I sat meditating, the dream would fade away, so I just consciously watched it. I was on some kind of fair on a village. I notice the stands and a freaky guy following me around. I then saw some tourism promotion shop with glass walls – selling German arts and crafts and sharing brochures about the country. To stabilize my lucidity I decide to go inside it and just look at all the things in display. There’s a desk at my left with some German lady smiling at me. By her side there’s some kind of children’s book I find fascinating, because the book is in the format of a flower and the pages are the petals and fold to the centre. Then I sit on a very cool resting wicker chair and unfortunately I’m still feeling tired so I can’t hold lucidity and I just wake up.

3:00 GMT

Another unstable lucid
Again lucid, on a roadside. I think some guys invite me to a road trip but I say no. Instead I float around some village trying to stabilize the dream, but I still feel very tired. I remember something about vegetable gardens and narrow streets, then I go blank.

Museum and party on a village
Now I'm on a mountain village. Getting out of some café/restaurant with my BF and heading to our car. I notice we left our bags and wallets on our seats and didn’t even close the car. The car is parked on a sightseeing terrace over the ocean. I am looking at the view, the water, the boats and the clouds in the sky when a jumbo jet passes by really low altitude. I pick up my camera to film it. And then the jet flips in the air and sinks on the water down below. I get scared but then the jet jumps out of water and it is now a whale. OK. Then as I watch this jet-whale jumping on water, This whole terrace thing is now a theatre on some museum, where they play 3D movies (been recently to something like this in Japan).
I’m now accompanied by my father and the movie is about sea monsters – the whale now transformed into a pre-historic whale with sharp teeth. It is so cool and realistic but my father is totally missing it, because he didn’t like the place he was at (everybody had to stand, leaning over a handrail). The movie was ending and he was complaining he didn’t see a thing. During the movie, I tried to get him on a better place but he was in a terrible mood, not accepting any suggestion, so I just gave up. In the end, I was so excited about the movie but he had found another horrible guy who also just kept complaining about everything. Then a new session was about to start and I suggested they tried again but now they were demanding that the session was halted someone from the staff came over and take care of their complaints. I told them they were being jerks, that they had no experience of these continuous playing movies on museums and if they were not happy just please go away. They didn’t go, so I did.
I went outside and I’m still on the same mountain village. Lots of amazing views around. Lots of green, cute little houses in the hills. I become lucid again. I see many people gathered at what seems to be the main square of the village, a bit down below from where I am standing and decide to fly over to see what’s going on. It’s some kind of party but it’s too crowded and I decide to go under an arched tunnel just by the side of this huge crowd. As I fly by the tunnel I see some long table full of toys and dolls, placed in a way to create a kind of domestic scene. I guessed it was some kind of birthday party for a kid and this display was for the party’s kids. I am coming out on the other side of the tunnel, when I cough in RL and I wake up.

5:10 GMT

Attack of the gadgets
On a wood cottage with my mom, my aunt and lots of other people. We’re trying to find a spot to put a mattress and sleep for the night on some mezzanine over a large empty living room, but it is simply crowded. I finally find a spot near the stairs that go to ground level. When I’m settled, I go downstairs, as do my mom and aunt. As they sit outside on a tree trunk, relaxing in the sun, I see a bunch of robots and gadgets coming up the hill behind them and terrifying everyone at his passage. My mom and aunt don’t seem so worried. OK, it wasn’t like the “I, Robot”, so I understand they didn’t look threatened – ipods, toy-robots, those alarm clocks with wheels to run away from you when they ring, and so on – but still, they were marching as an army and I didn’t feel secure. They ended up invading the house and cornering people. Then a huge LCD with a home cinema sound system came majestically into the giant empty living room and forced people to watch some film on its screen. And demanded full undivided attention. When there were music clips playing, people had to dance to it. I was hiding and watching this at distance. Then some guy got tired and stopped dancing, wanted to run away. The LCD beamed the guy up with some type of laser and disintegrated him. Then people started to really freak out. I’m thinking about how I’m gonna save people from this when... in RL my BF wakes me up.

6:30 GMT