side notes

I was in something like an electronics store.. Something in the dream clued me in to the fact that I was dreaming, I got excited and almost woke up, used a "dream spinning" technique I read about. Closed my eyes , spun in circle and regained vivid lucidity. Used force like powers to lift and hurl electronics. Realized I had much dream control and was excited about it while still dreaming.
Note: read that if you ask a person if you are dreaming in a dream, they will say no. Asked a person in this dream, he said no.

Irrelevant perhaps but note to self...

14/03/11

Tried OBE-ing tonight. I can slip into deep meditation/sleep paralysis quite quickly now with the help of binaural beats. I tried different techniques to Exit my physical body and I tried four times in the span of 3 hours. Not sure what's holding my astral self (correct term?) back...
The closest I got was on the third (or fourth not quite clear) try when my whole body starting tingling and vibrating and it instantly became lighter and I felt like I was floating halfway out of my physical body and halfway in. I had vague dream-like flashes of vision - of a humanistic lizard who appeared twice (Maybe my guide?), a dream-like world with a large tree shedding leaves in autumn sunset, of demonic white faces half in shadows...- and I managed to keep this up until I started to lose consciousness of my mind and I felt myself slide back into my physical body and I opened my eyes.
I was trying too hard on my first few tries of OBE-ing (I was thinking too hard) but I found it helped to clear my head, concentrate on my breathing and to look deep into the darkness of my closed eyes. Sometimes if I do this I find my astral body spinning and feeling lighter and expanding and I feel like I could just fly out of my physical body and something is holding me back!!!!!!! I've tried different techniques but it didn't work. I guess practice makes perfect?

So, I went on a camping trip and I was too cold/tired/busy and it was too dark to keep my dream journal. When I came back I didn't have time to keep track of my dreams. I have been having some cool dreams lately though and I am going to attempt what I was doing before (keeping my hard copy dream journal and then posting when I have anything particularly interesting). I would like to mention a cool dream I had on my camping trip though.

I had a lucid dream inside of a dream. I was dreaming, and I was in control of the dream (I was shopping and I bought this green floral dress and befriended the shop keeper and then ended up having a huge party in the dressing room area) then I woke up and I was like "Oh, I have to write that down" so I wrote it down and I went down to breakfast with my mom (we were staying in a hotel or something) and this lady was offering me all of these brightly colored pastries for dessert (they weren't cooking from the menu that morning for some reason) so I got this green cake thing.

Then I woke up and I was in my tent and it was such an odd feeling. I hadn't really been controlling my "lucid dream" I just thought I was having a lucid dream. It's difficult to explain, but I am 100% sure I wasn't actually lucid, I just thought I was.

*These will be grouped together, as I do not wish to flood and update them separately, and as several of them are fragments.

Age 5, August:

I was in the apartment I shared with my elder sister(whom adopted me after our mothers death and my fathers abandonment). I knew it was late at night, and dark outside, but someone had covered our window with a childs drawing of a bright, sunny day. My dream self knew that the picture was fake, but my sister (I will refer to her as mom from here on out, as thats what I call her) did not seem to realize the picture was false, and continuously insisted that I go outside and play. She became so insistent that my dream-child-self could no longer resist, and so, full of suspicion, I left the house. Upon seeing that it was indeed dark and late, I turned to bang on the door, but she did not answer. I desperately looked through the window, my terror mounting, and saw that she was sitting and watching TV. I screamed, called out to her, and pounded on the door, but she could not hear me. In real life, she would have been able to hear me, and the fact that she couldn't scared me even more. I began to wander around. I was in the alley-way between apartment complexes, and the night was unnaturally dark; I could see the buildings clearly, but it was as though someone had colored all else with charcoal. I began to wander towards the main street, and as I did so, yellow eyes came towards me from the darkness, and I felt the panther pass me. I knew it was a panther because they're black, and all I could see were the eyes, so obviously it was blending in to the night.
I finally came upon the street, where one yellow street light illuminated the dumpster and a row of parked cars. By the dumpster was a zombie and a robot (at that age, I had no idea what a zombie or robot was. I wasn't allowed to watch anything beyond G, my TV was moderated, and the only thing the computer was good for was MS Paint. I went to a nice little all-white preppy-school, and I was actually the MOST cultured of my classmates, who were stupid enough not to know what the Fox and the Hound was. I recognize the monsters as a zombie and robot, NOW, but I am at a loss for how I knew what they might look like, THEN). I was terrified of the zombie and robot, even though I had a sense that they were not threatening. Called to my terror, a witch came down from the sky on her broom and swooped me away to her home, where she puttered about in the kitchen while I sat uncomfortably in the dining room. She continued to say how grateful I should be for her rescuing me, and how lucky I was, but I was quite uneasy. When she finished in the kitchen she brought out a sheet of cookies, and I KNEW that they were blood-cookies, and that she was evil and the zombie and robot actually good. I stole her broom and ran outside as she followed, screeching, and jumped off the cliff, managing to make the broom work inches before I hit the ground.
I came home, and finally found my way in, only to see my mom on her exercise bike. I tried to tell her what had happened to me, but she again couldn't hear me. As I began to scream at her, a T-Rex burst through the window. My mom didn't notice it, and then it roared and I woke up--somehow sensing that the roar was a sound both in real life and the dream. Turns out my mom was snoring REALLY loudly on the couch.

Age 8, December:
I was at the YMCA, my daycare, late at night. Everyone else was there as well, but it was far past the time when the daycare closed. My friend Chrystal was showing me her haircut (In fact, two days after this dream, Chrystal got a haircut and I had deja vu when she showed it to me) at one of those fold-down white tables with the long, attached benches. She had cut her hair VERY short. I was admiring it when I great bright light illuminated the windows behind Chrystal, and her and I jumped under the table, knowing it was aliens. (Yes, by this age I knew what those were, although the only form they ever took in my imagination was green, pointy chin, big head, and big black eyes. No antenna though) The aliens were soon chasing us through a LARGE McDonalds play-place suddenly inside the YMCA gym, only it was larger than the gym, and it was terrifying. Then at one point the aliens chasing us turned into Jesus, and I thought 'oh, he's supposed to be cool, we should go to him', before I thought 'it's a trick!' and continued to run away. Chrystal ran to Jesus for help, and he turned back into the alien and ate her, whereas I had continued running, and made it to a safe point. (ALSO, I wasn't allowed to have or play or watch people play video games until I was 13. And, while my larger family identified as Christian, my mom never forced any kind of religion on me, or had any views on the subject, herself, so Jesus was kinda a vague concept I was rather suspicious of) So basically, this dream baffles me by basic rights of 'where the hell did I get this'.


Unknown Ages, Reoccurring: I continuously had dreams where I KNEW that, if I ran fast enough, I would run right off the ground and into the air, and be able to fly. I would have to keep my legs running, in order to keep myself up, but I could do it, and I did do it, quite frequently. The only other flying dreams I had besides these were back before I was 7, I would be able to sit on my blankey and it could fly me around.

Note: I have nightmares very infrequently, and after having two in a row when I was 7, I taught myself how to go back and 'erase' them, by imagining that my dreams were in a file-system in a computer, and that if I took the nightmares and 'deleted' them, they would no longer bother me. To this day, I still use this system in order to 'delete' nightmares immediately after I have them, so that while I can remember the nightmare, I don't remember the fear or pain, and can thus go immediately back to sleep, and not have the nightmare reoccur.

Alright guys, I was reading the thing on here about how to lucid dream and doing reality checks and wat not. And it said that during your dreams take note of things happening and if something that would happen in real life, then you'll know it's a dream.But I have a prob. with that like 90% of the time it's not like having a dream, it's like watching a movie. I'm not using my brain I don't see out of my eyes I see myself and my surrounding, again, like I said, a movie. It's I'm retarded or something, I just dont regester things. HELP PLEASE??!!

-Space trips

This dream has been haunting me for a year and yet though I wished to re-enter the dreamscape, I was unable to do so mainly because I was quite uneducated regarding the Lucid Dreaming. The reason why I post this is because I may conduct a way of lucid induction of the very same dream (through MILD). Words cannot simply describe the emotions that I have experienced during my interaction with this peculiar simulated world, unlike any other dreams that I have ever experienced.

The dream contained 2 specific parts, and yet they were chained without the repulsion of change, which is extremely odd as they conveyed opposite philosophies.

The mountain in which the paradise stood still

The origins of the place I had the honor to visit thanks to my revolving subconscious seemed to lead a root in ancient mythology and rural simplicity. And however what seemed to be a rural dreamscape, with green meaningless fields of grass turned into a vivid green forest, in which I encountered a family of natives (DCs of course). They were interesting and friendly, but what impressed me was mostly was the fact that they could live in the wild forest, needing no cover. Their clothing (an overestimation of course, they were barely clothed) resembled the clothing old Indians used to wear. The men were bulky but with no exaggeration, they carried beards around their faces and yet no mustaches, and even so they we're not vibrating with masculinity but rather ignorance of the reality they lived in. The women were firmly shaped, with wavy hair and in contrast to the males, they were extremely feminine, by the way they would walk or gesticulate. I couldn't help but notice the way both males and females would convey sexual emotion though not in an explicit way, and I could also observe that they did not seem to limit themselves to the opposite gender, and though they would convey that through movements and interaction between them, there was no explicit action related to this topic, from which I could understand that they had the intelligence needed for one to be considered a "modern human being". The innocence they were living in was impressive and so I discovered the end of the forest, a great dark lake leading towards a broken mountain, from which cut I could see great shadowy horrific figures, overshadowing that part of the forest, allowing but a clearing to light the environment. As I have stated before, the feeling I instantly received through simply observing this image was one that I have never felt before, vibrating both bliss and and misery, and so I could only allow myself to kneel in front of it. For a moment, I had to look away, as it was too much to take. Peering again at the pretty postcard landscape, now that I could comprehend more of it, I noticed a ship sailing about, one that resembled the ones old Vikings used to sail with. I began to depart as I was waving to the family, still locked in its innocence, as the ship was taking me far away into the grotesque but peaceful nothingness.

In a moment's revelation, I looked and I could see but the lake, the ship and the stars, a true cosmic projection in space and time, which a moment will reverse, and the lake, and the ship, stood still amid the paradise.

The world that spins the other way

The flow of euphoria vanished and without the image of me landing somewhere, I could see the representation a a dystopia environment but I realized that it was just more than that. I was amid some strange metallic fields, displaying horrible representations of strange entities, from which I could stare at their heads, looking like gas masks, with the exception that these were no masks, they were certainly part of their head, as in the reddish glow of the sky, I could see both flesh and blood. The grass was now vibrating silver gleam and the demonic red of the sky, not to mention the crawling fire around me, showed true suffering. Two thoughts came in my mind: the suffering was useless, meaningless, unlike the wars men has started, I just knew that, no explanation being given. The second thought related my view upon this world: I was embracing it in harmony. Though these horrors moved sarcastically in a metaphysical procedure through me, I was at peace. A building displaying the image of ying-yang though the dark part was replaced by a red colour. More peculiar was my knowledge upon the world, I simply knew there were no cycles of day and night, but one single state, a red state, at which moment, looking in the far distance, an old house was burning in flames. I walked away, swiftly, observing suffering around me, perhaps beings running away to nowhere.

And I woke up.

Commentary:

The states of my mind which allowed me to preview this world were complex, and I hope that one day through lucid meditation, I could re-induce myself in this state of world... and could somehow cultivate more information regarding it.

TL;DR Iammad

I have poor recall on this dream, but basically there were several women vying for the position of host for a radio show or as an advertising spokesperson. They were all trying to earn a vote.

This one lady came up to me and put her face up against mine to seduce my vote. She kind of ended up kissing me, and then knocking me over a couch or onto a bed.

Her appearance changed to another woman who slid down the covers. She put her face close to my groin. I thought how nice it was, but she could just go ahead and give me what I really want. She kind of starts to, but never really did. I felt good, but I was disappointed I couldn't get her to commit.

I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. Maybe drinking the perfect amount of liquid could induce a sexual dream in a man without waking him up. Hmmmmm.

Comment Dream Lucid
Amount of sleep: 10.5 hours
Supplement before sleep: Fanta exotic
Epic: 8.1/10
Real: 6.5/10


I was in a house that felt like being on top of a mountain. I was at a guy who had injured himself. the house was designed as a large aircraft. I knew none of those who was there.
The house was almost like our cabin only reversed, it was stairs going down instead of up, the rooms were almost the same place, and the kitchen and living room was where they should be.

Later I went skiing or something in a high mountain pass, it was a dive on one side and a large frozen lake on the other side. (Clear references to our cabin and the cabin area of these dreams) I was with a large group, I would see off the cliff next to a stick that was sticking up with a red banner on it. (Just as those who show the way in the desert in the game Ocarina of Time) I slid down, but no one helped me up, but I got myself up. there was a lady (with dark hair, but not the same woman as before) who said that I should slope down in the hill there. I said that I would break every bone in my body. she said what and I said then we would have to go to the hospital. On my way up I saw a red banner over the lake.(Maybe showing me another path here) The whole group was heading towards a cave, right by where I slid down. (It was more of the banners farther away, I drew a drawing.

I landed at an airport. It was like the airport was high in the sky also, the gates floated, and it looked like a space station. Then suddenly I was down under the platforms (the gates). It was a football field. I think it was a local team playing. The arena was bigger than any football court I have seen, but there were no people in the stands, for there were no spectators, only big fat walls. I sat down in a staircase. the walls were blue, and of plastic, as were the stairs, just like you'd expect in a swimming hall. but the color of the stairs was gray. there were white lines under the blue. Some of my buddies walked towards me, so then I ran up the stairs, and was on top again.

I was high in the sky all the time in these dreams. I dunno why. I also dreamt that I got my paycheck somewhere in those dreams. I wonder if the numbers are correct with what I actually get.

Recall was really low the day before yesterday, and yesterday I only managed to write out one dream before bed. It was interesting but not solid enough for me to want to type up on the computer.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

04.07.2011

Song Assignment (Non-lucid)

We have to chose a song to turn in to the teacher at (my old) school, *Miss L. I randomly choose what's on, 'Sonne' by Rammstein. I'm called over to her in school in the back of the classroom and asked what I wanted to convey. I admit I just chose what was on.

She goes to the front of the class and turns on a stereo - it's all Rammstein songs, including 'Pussy'. I see C nearby moving her lips along to the lyrics.

Miss L says some stuff about how others have chosen Rammstein and probably something about how it was a bad choice. I could just feel her looking down on me. When she starts to say 'if some of you are fans' while holding up freezy cups with Rammstein stuff on them and other merchandise, at least five people raise their hands a bit (inlcuding C and J) but Miss L isn't paying attention.

- When I first got to school I realized that I'd forgotten my binder with pen and paper, and when I went to see if I had any in my locker, that I had no key to get into it. In class, J turns around and passes a stack of paper, the kind I used as a child to practice handwriting on. I take two and pass them back, saying "have some paper" or something like that. I somehow end up with a few utensils to write with too.

- Someone starts to defend me around when Miss L asked why I chose the song. After, Miss L drops my CD with the song on it into a trashcan with a black trashbag.

- I remember hearing her play the song throughout class because she paused it a few times as I was tuning in.

- I remember wondering how everyone got their songs to school. Surely not everyone had CD's or iPod's or whatever. I wondered how I got my song there, briefly considering my iPod (this might have been before Miss L threw my CD away).

- Around when she was obviously looking down on my choice, I wondered what I should have brung. Tori Amos? (One of her songs played in my head then.) What would I say when she asked why? All I could think was because she was my favorite. Isn't it kind of too personal to even want to tell her anything (for everyone)?

*Old gym teacher.

Esperanto Verbs (Non-lucid)

Looking through a list (row) of verbs trying to find a specific one.

Note: I went to bed with this on my mind.

In only a emotional sense this being was unlike me, I am more of fighter than a flightier. Now that you say what you have said, I believe this maybe my fear of the future, That I won't get into a good college, Get a good job, etc. that is the only thing I think I am afraid of, is failure. He looked to be young, As he ran so fast. This whole time I have felt it to be a he, But doing more meditation on this creature, It did have female traits, Such as, The language it spoke, was like a female banshee scream but yet the demeanor was very masculine. After this all, I think the dream symbolized the confusion about who I am, what I want to be, and Where I want to go in life.

This was an interesting dream on many levels. First, its setting was almost indistinguishable from my real life office, which is a recent first for me in terms of dream architecture. Second, its remarkable likeness to a familiar real life location makes the trigger that I came across painfully easy to spot and I did spot it. What is disheartening is that my unconscious mind accepted the explanation given it by a DC thus preventing a DILD. I would be interested to see how it would have played out had the DC who provided the explanation not been present. Finally, I was attempting a MILD that night and I find it very encouraging that I was able to spot a trigger and almost DILD right off the bat. As I am still a newbie when it comes to LD, and have only ever had one, I believe I am making solid progress.

Please excuse the many side notes in this entry. I believe they are essential to some of the comments I make in describing the scene. As a further aside, I am amazed at how incredibly helpful keeping this DJ has been in my quest to explore my unconscious mind.

Friday, March 4, 2011

I am at my office, which in my dream world looks almost identical to its real world counterpart, save for very slight modifications. For example, I work in an area comprised of four rather larger cubes with high walls on three sides, but in my dream, my work area is comprised of many very small cubes, with small desks and only dividers in-between; in the middle of this large workspace is a series of filing cabinets with a countertop surface on top of them.

I arrive at my office carrying my hockey bag and two sticks. In the real world, I play on my firm’s ice hockey team, so I would own such a bag and sticks but would never bring them directly to the office with me. I leave the bag and sticks on the shared filing cabinet surface in the middle of my shared workspace. I have a constant fear tugging at me that I am going to forget about the game I have after work and miss it entirely.

There is a big to-do in the office and everyone is running about, rushing to get things done. I have no idea what this may be, but considering I’m an attorney (both in real life and in my dream, apparently) and I work in a high pressure environment, this is not unusual and does not trigger lucidity. I go to find Brian, a new guy we just hired (in both the dream and real world) to see how he’s handling all of the pressure and to make sure he’s settled in. I am unable to find him at his desk, which is occupied by a number of workers, who appear to be moving men or janitorial staff of some sort. These workers look to be setting up Brian’s new work area, which is surprisingly nice for someone who just started work.

I leave Brian’s desk area and go to Baj’s office, one of our Senior Managers, to discuss a business matter. I do not recall the content of that conversation, but I seem to remember it being lighthearted. When Baj and I are finished speaking, I return to Brian’s desk and find him there, leaning against it and speaking to a tall man in a white robe. I interrupt the conversation and realize that the tall man is Dave, one of the Senior Managers in our international tax group.

Dave is dressed, as I mentioned, in a floor-length white robe. Additionally, his hair is an afro, like the style sported by 80’s rapper Kid, from Kid and Play. Around the shaved sides and back of his head were carved various symbols, with what would appear to have been a straight razor, thus these symbols were bleeding. The symbols were of the sort rappers from the 80’s would have carved into their afros (with a buzzer into their hair and not with a straight razor into their scalp), they included a Nike Swoosh and the Chicago Bulls logo, among others that I cannot recall.

I join the conversation and begin to discuss how Dave was a professor that both Brian and I had in law school (this is true. Brian and I, in the real world, attended the same post-graduate legal program to receive our masters in tax law and Dave was really one of our professors). The conversation ends, Dave says he will talk to us later and kisses Brian on the forehead. He attempts to do the same to me, but I pull away and exclaim: “Whoa, Dave. Whatever you and Brian have going on, I don’t want any part of it.” Dave leaves and I ask Brian why in the hell Dave is dressed in a white robe like some kind of a saint and why a tall white guy has a gigantic afro with symbols painfully carved into his scalp. This is the closest I come to lucidity in this dream sequence. I clearly realized something was off considering how close the rest of the dream mimicked my real-life office. Brian responds by saying that he’s dressed for the Halloween party and I accept this answer without a second thought, putting aside that in the real world our office does not have a Halloween party.

I leave Brian desk area and remember sprinting down an aisle of cubes to return to my desk. On my way, I pass a different Dave, a partner with whom I play hockey once a week, and he mentions how everyone is gathered by the elevators to head to the hockey game. I run back to my desk and grab my hockey bag and sticks, but every time I try to shoulder the bag by the straps, the straps break and the bag falls to the floor.

I awaken and perform my RC.

Addendum: I added the following to my offline DJ on 3/7, following this enty's transcription here, but forgot to post this online. It is a fragment from the same dream that I recalled upon waking deliberations of various specific elements of this dream sequence:

As I sprinted down the aisle of cubes from Brian's desk to return to my own I noticed several desks to my right arranged in square patterns, with each next to a computer server of some sort. The servers all have flashing red lights and clear glass doors on their fronts; I can make out green circuit boards inside of the doors.

Sitting at the desk directly next to the aisle and facing me as I run by is a girl that I recognize as working in my office in the waking world, but whose name I do not know. I remember thinking that it was odd that her desk was on on this side of the office now, because she usually sits on the other side of the floor. Additionally, I remember thinking that I have always found this girl extremely attractive and that if this was in fact a lucid dream I would probably sleep with her.

I then arrive at my desk to get my hockey bag and sticks as I mention above.

Upon recalling these specific dream events so vividly upon further reflection, I was amazed that such blatant DS's would go unnoticed by my unconscious mind, including the incredible reference to an LD within the dream itself! Clearly, I have work to do in regard to my concentration and mental discipline.

This dream was not quite as vivid as the last few and I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I didn't recall it until I had been awake for about 10-minutes. I may not have woken up right as it ended, so I'm lucky to remember it at all:

I was on a half destroyed city street. I had a very cool gun with a future blue night-vision scope mounted on it. Walking along the streets were flesh colored monsters with big heads and tentacles for arms. I was shooting at them from several blocks away using the amazingly cool scope.

I was with a small group of people. We decided to move onto other areas. (Recall gets very hazy at this point.) We traveled until what seemed like noon because the environment became very crisp and sunny after this. We moved to a valley that was huge and forested with trees in every direction. There were no signs of civilization and I had the impression there had been, but it was all over grown now.

Without quite being lucid, I reasoned with the right amount of effort I could fly like a Falcon over the valley to scope out a place for us to scavenge for weapons or make a base of operations. I vaguely recall sending out a Falcon firstly, and then some how deciding that I could simply follow him. I soared into the air over the vast forested valley. I clearly remember flapping my arms at one point, like a bird, while the other watched.

I discovered, I was actually looking at my home city deep into the future and now massively overgrown. A tall mountain had ripped upwards miles into the sky completely altering the appearance of the entire region.

I directed everyone to my house so that we could scavenge it for food and weapons. It was half flattened and overgrown with trees and dirt. I did find several of my belongings that didn't quite look right. I was perplexed by how different my stuff looked in the future.

Eventually we made our way further down the valley to a compound that was sitting in front of a black-ish swampy lake. There was something like a private militia residing there. They welcomed us in, and warned that the lake was filled with monsters. I looked out a window with thick metallic blinds. I could see what looked like pink fleshy half men half fish creatures swimming around in it. The leader informed us that the lake ran underground, all the way under the compound. (These visuals were extremely realistic.)

I looked at my group and asked, "Why would we stay here then?"

For a long time I've had dreams in which I fly, but don't become totally lucid. Pretty annoying actually. I also made the connection that seeing a bird in flight triggered the lucid power of flight exhibited in the Super Lucid: Blackbird Flying dream.

The following dream I had on 5-hours sleep. This would have been my 3rd REM cycle which means this dream may have been over 45-minutes long. It was extremely, extremely, realistic. To the point that when I woke up I felt I had not been home in days or weeks. The visual quality, in complete honesty, was more vivid than real life. I say this because in real life our eyelashes block our view and veins in our eyes can make some lighting conditions slightly blurry. I have 10/20 vision so this was not a product of wearing or needing glasses or contacts.

I woke up. My long time friend Lynn was massaging my right hand as I did. She didn't look completely sober and she seemed very bleary and passionate about giving me this hand massage. I felt uneasy, because I have a jealous girlfriend and I was wondering how I let myself alone with Lynn in a room.

Sitting in the room on a chair a few feet from my bed was an earthy/hippy looking guy in his mid 20's with rusty blond hair and beard. Lynn was saying something to me about working my energies or something. She eventually got off my bed and headed out the door. The guy sitting there laughingly told me about how Lynn had pulled a similar stunt and acted really weird to someone else recently in attempt to practice her Chinese medicine.

I did not recognize the room I was in. It was beige, metallic, somewhat cramped and had no windows. I felt confused as to where I was or how I got there. The guy started making small talk (which I don't recall and) I wasn't paying much attention, as I had a sinking feeling I was some how terribly lost.

The guy suggested I go into the living room with him, so I got out of bed and followed him. The living room looked shabby and unimpressive. We sat down on a brownish colored sofa and continued to talk as I desperately tried to orient myself. Soon afterward, one by one, all my "roommates" came home. There must have been at least ten other people I appeared to be living with. I didn't know who any of them were, but they all seemed very familiar with me.

They all sat around talking to each other about various things. (This part of the dream could have easily lasted 10-minutes by itself.) I sort of made excuses for myself for not knowing what the hell was going on. I just woke up. I didn't feel too hot. But eventually admitted, "I have no idea who any of you are!" They laughed it off, and implied I had done too many drugs or something the night before. I started to become terrified of the possibility I had a massive case of amnesia. I hid it, but inside the fear was swelling up strongly.

Then, Sabrina, a girl I haven't seen in many, many years walked in with a big smile. She looked thinner and healthy and I stood up to greet her. I somewhat shouted for joy. "Sabrina! Now you I know!" Everyone laughed. At this point I said "Now I don't know if I'm dreaming or not." I was so relieved to see another person I knew, the fear level dropped and I could pretend to fit in a little. (This part of the dream could have lasted another 10-minutes.)

Eventually my girlfriend walked in and it looked like she had just got off work. She looked sweet and very calm like she had a good day. When I saw her I felt desperate to take her aside and confide in her how lost and uncertain I felt. She told me "Lets go up to our apartment." I felt relieved, because I thought we all lived in that small unit together and I couldn't understand why I would ever choose to live that way.

We walked into the halls which were also metallic and had dark worn-out atmosphere difficult to put into words. The place looked futuristic but extremely old like something from the movie Bladerunner. I followed my girlfriend up flights of stairs like a lost puppy. She remained calm and not alarmed. On the way up the stairs I asked her "Can we go back to my home? I just want to know that it's still real." She laughed it off and we walked to our apartment door.

At this point I turned around and saw a crazed looking man was following closely behind me. I opened our door, which sealed like the door of a submarine and had a bright red glowing light above the thick black metallic peep hole. I seemed to know how to open it perfectly well and I shoved her in the door, followed, then double locked ourselves in. Checking the locks from inside, they seemed loose.

Our door entered close to the kitchen. The place looked even darker, more cramped, and less inviting than the first apartment. I was starting to become very, very, uncomfortable again. Our apartment was divided into three floors. The basement level I never went to, but it was nearly pitch black save for a few red LED's on the walls. I followed her upstairs to our bedroom area. There laying on a chair was a very pale girl with shorts on sitting on a chair half dazed.

I was alarmed, but my GF explained that was only our roommate. I told her I couldn't take this place any more and asked if we could go for a walk outside. She agreed, and we left through a side door and went outside where there was only an empty parking lot, and gray looking forest. We walked into the forest and I started to feel dizzy. (The dream started to destabilize.) Horror struck again...

I put my arm around her for balance and asked "Am I mentally retarded now? Did I have some sort of accident?" She only just slightly smiled and looked at me. --Then I woke up.

I want to emphasize, when I woke up I felt I hadn't seen my bedroom in at least 2-3 days. I felt like a stranger to my own life, and I noticed that my real room was not as visually intense as my dream room.

This dream falls into a common category of my dreams: Bizarre Apartment

a
March 1, 2011

I think this peanut butter I am eating for increased vividness is not only working very well it is helping me increase my recall. This first dream is very long and is chaotic which is characteristic of dreams earlier in the night which usually are not remembered. Nothing lucid though.

Dream 1 : Train of Destruction
There was some random stuff going on before this.
It was dark at night and I could barely see things happening. This was a place like Alaska in the summer, rural, tons of pine trees, and small town feeling. Me and some of the malcontents of the small rural town created a crazy rail-mega-truck thing. The center was a rail car that had old trucks connected to it on both sides, it was huge and we got it to go really fast and then burst off the track into the woods busting itself and anything in its way to hell. This was done just outside of town and may have killed people but we obviously didn’t care, the town’s people were scum. I felt bad at this feeling after thinking about it, ‘would I feel OK if there was a little girl killed in there?’ I decided to get away from what we had done and the jerks doing it by leaving town.
Under the few street lights I saw police cars looking cars over looking for the people that created that crash in the woods. They saw me but let me pass so I figured they didn’t know me or my car yet.
I am now in the dark metal like room and there is a guy there trying to calm me. He says something about “it taking effect soon” and figure I have been drugged somehow. There is a metal chair that looks like people could be strapped into it and I have to wonder if I have been made to talk about what happened before.
Then I am in a New York suburb in an empty lot. The lot is surrounded by apartment buildings and a typical chain link fence. There is an oldish guy looking like a retiree sipping iced tea in his lounge chair on his tiny back porch. I went over to him and he said something like he was impressed with my progress. Then I feel that he and others have “made me” like I am some kind of clone. I plan to escape. Figuring he may know what I would plan to do I do something totally random and ad lib and I run to the other side of the lot and then hide down under the very tall weeds and crawl to the other corner. When I come up there are 2 women looking for me frantically. The leader of the 2 says regretful “we were stressing him” to make me better. I ran out of the lot at inhuman speeds and out to the street. I had no idea where this was even though the lot I just came from seemed oddly familiar. I took a right and ran up the street than I started walking fast to not attract attention. I knew I had to get more distance between me and those people in the lot. Passing some shops and pubs to my right there was a street corner just up ahead. Then I recognized the guy on the corner [Charlie Sheen], could he be one of “them?” He was talking to other on the corner and turned to see me and nodded at me knowingly. His nod was one of ‘I got your back’ but I was too paranoid to care and ducked in the door I was at when he nodded at me. It was dark in here I could barely see anything but rushed down the hallway. Then at the end the light was visible and I recognized this as what I call ‘proximity light’ which is light that is only visible at a certain distance, a dream world invention and a little extra vividness entered the dream, I was more clear now. I hurriedly opened the door at the end of the hallway and slammed the door shut but it didn’t close but I didn’t care too much I had to get to the phone. There was a guy standing there reading the paper like he was minding the place [he was dressed in 1930s brown pants and suspenders and vertical stripped dress shirt] he just moved out of my way. There was a box on the wall that held the phone I pulled out the one piece ear piece to the old phone and was worried that I couldn’t say something into the phone and put it to my ear and looked for the piece you talk into. Before anything else, I heard a voice on the other side say in acknowledgement “I got the car”. I knew I get my way out and instantly calmed down.

This was in a wooden wall box.

Darkness

Dream 2: 2 Pink Fro’s
I was looking at 2 strange looking guys all in pink. They where white guys with huge pink afros, pink shirts, pink pants and shoes. There faces were made up to look peach colored in an artificial way. They just stood there looking like there was a camera watching them, posing.

Darkness

Dream 3: Washing a Boat
I was washing a boat in a dream world that was very familiar to me. I had some friends that came into a lot of money but never showed it too much but this was a dream world created to express their desire to flaunt their riches. In their driveway they had a Cadillac and an expensive boat up on the trailer thing. I was washing it and getting paid of course but it was ridiculously easy and fun to be around so much wealth. Then the father of this wealthy family came out to see a friend of his [I have no idea who this guy is] and after saying pleasantries,
Friend: “how’s it going these days?”
Rich guy: “not bad, just have some gambling debts to pay off.”
The friend didn’t answer knowing that there was probably going to be a mention of money.
Rich guy: “You wouldn’t mind loaning me some money would you?”
Friend: “No I really don’t have any money after my family.”
Rich guy: Smiles, like a mob boss, knowing that now he knows he can lightly threaten the “friend’s” family to coerces him to give the loan.

Darkness

Dream 4: Gold Tea Strainers
I am seeing gold tea strainers that look a little like little globes of vertical lines. I can feel they are 99% gold and like looking at them and moving them in my hand.

Wow didn't know these existed till I Googled them!
I knew what they were but kept thinking they look like earrings. Getting a good look at them again I can see why.

There were 3 more very short dreams which I didn’t feel were worthy getting up to record.