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So I was in one of these pubs\taverns where alcoholists go usually... my friend was there and I told him to get out of there cuz its a toxic place , but he insisted on staying and drinking more
then some alcoholic said something to me ,interfering
and thats when I had enough...why even hide my thoughts from anyone, I should say what I think.... I hate all these people ,all useless recluses ..
I told him to fuck off , then everyone else started to look at me , and then I was like yeah actually All of you can fuck off
and flipped the finger at everyone , everyone erupted , and then I left the place.
I thought I'd be attacked but nothing happened...

Created Saturday 21 March 2020

Got a DILD and a fragment today.

Scrap Group 1
Driving through a highway during a cloudy day. Cut to my entering a parking garage. Suddenly, I was seized by mysterious figures. A top down view of the scene is shown, revealing I was attacked by two savage female vampires dressed in ancient rags. Rewind after I was killed. The scene repeats in first person view. But now, I simply ignored my assailants, treating them as mild annoyances even as they drained me.

Dream 1 - The Key to Enlightenment

The visuals were slightly blurred. I was in the living room at home. M was there, as was an unknown figure, a man who was a supposed acquaintance of ours.

We sat down to eat an overtly bright-colored frosted cake. Suddenly, a bunch of firefighters and emergency crew burst into the scene. They claimed there was some major hazard that needed to be dealt with, and as such, required everyone to evacuate immediately. As part of some kind of arrangement, this lady cop, light skinned, light brown hair, short, stout, and about my age, instructed me to go with her for a ride to a destination of my choosing.

Soon, the two of us departed within a police cruiser. Much of the surroundings looked unfamiliar to me. All homes had a good distance between them, and the roads had singular lanes on each sides of opposing traffic. For most of the ride, we remained uncomfortably silent, broken only by some occasional small talk. Minutes later, we arrive in a parking garage. I begin dismounting, when the policewoman showed sudden interest in me. Had mixed feelings on that, including flattery, but mostly just confusion. I stammered my thoughts before slinking away.

Cut to my walking through a dark hallway. This soon opens up into a vast, multi-story atrium. Dark wood balconies were divided into sections, each of which contained what appeared as small classrooms hosting 12 late teen students or fewer. Staff and students alike were dressed in professional wear. I looked around for a few minutes, when I suddenly had the urge to start floating around, doing so while seated in a meditative pose. I could glance the occasional double take and dumbfounded stares from the others. In any case, this act brought instant awareness.

As per my goals, I sought for a way to dilate time. As I looked around, I noticed another figure levitating figure above me. This individual was further distinct from his pitch black suit, albino skin, bald head, and youthful appearance (indeed, he seemed more like a tall and skinny middle school aged kid if anything). I approach him, to be immediately met with a query.

"You seek knowledge, yes?", asks the boy in a soothing, near-whispered tone. I nodded. The enigma then pulled out an object from his pocket, a large brazen key of antiquated design. He holds it out in the palm of his hand, and continues. "This is The Key to Enlightenment". I take it, feeling a strange combination of anticipation and worry. The child suddenly stares at me intently, then continues. "However, you must find The Entrance yourself." I nodded again, and set off quickly to do just that.

It didn't take long for me to notice something unusual in the ceiling. Murals, each depicting natural symbols such as leaves. However, it so happened some of the art was actually gilded engravings. Furthermore, on closer scrutiny, within one such engraving was a cleverly hidden keyhole. I zoom in, but notice the opening is obviously not compatible with the key I'd in hand.

I only had a moment to ponder this, when explosions rocked the hall. Bright flashes erupted from the ground, incinerating anything it came in contact to ashes. I could hear repeated calls amidst screams of horror. "Sorcerers! Sorcerer!" But I wasn't in the fighting or curious mood. In fact, I feared losing any chance of finding this supposed Entrance. So I allowed others to take care of the problem, and phased out of the site...

I found myself in the garage again, only now, it was completely unlit. As I bumbled around mid-air, I come upon a locked maintenance door. Incidentally, there happened to be an unusually large doorlock. I tested the key out in it, and lo and behold, it fit! Opening it revealed a white void. I floated through, eager hope filling my thoughts. Unfortunately, such excitement made me unconscious. I don't recall how this ended, only that I woke up a half minute later.

Created Friday 20 March 2020

Been so long since I actually wrote up any dreams on the actual site. Guess now as is good as time as any. But anyway, I have much to write about today. Feels quite relieving, if I'm honest. Recall could be a bit better, but hey, it's still a far sight than what I've been getting these last two weeks or so...

Spoiler for Lotsa Spaghetti...er, words:

Scrap Group 1
In a mall. Jacob was there as well. Neon lights brightened the shop entrances and decorated much of the interior. Along our route, I mention trying to find a supposed buffet we went to before, though Jaboc was reluctant to eat so much. I got aware around that point. Even so, I opt to find the buffet, looking for over a minute until the dream fades.

Two short, uh, NSFW LDs.

Dream 1 - Ephermeral Eats, Still Construct

The visuals were a bit dim and blurred. I was in the lounge at home.

Things were notably different. Much of the furniture was missing, and the sofa there was brown, smaller, and generally unfamiliar. There was also a short, long wooden table. A spread of fried foods was set atop. I sat down, and tried a fried pastry of some sort. However, the food vanished as soon as I bit into it.

I then attempted to conjure TPD. She soon appeared in view, though flickered in and out of sight. It took a bit of concentration before she manifested entirely. The construct fell on the couch, her head across my lap. Rather than flaming hair, she possessed a crown as black as her cold exterior. TPD didn't say anything, just staring at me, waiting for input. I couldn't think of much else than repeat my previous dreams, and some yammering on future dream goals.

I went on for minutes before the dream faded. DEILD transition.

Dream 2 - Crisp Iceburg Lettuce

The visuals were bright, but stil blurred. I was in a white void. Soon, an SUV pulled up beside me. I opened the back door to find a bunch of groceries. Thinking of the TOTMs, I sift through the bags, until I find a head of lettuce (iceburg lettuce, if I'm correct). It was deceptively cold to keep in hand, freezing, in fact. I wasted no time chowing down. Although cold, it was actually really easy to bite into. Crisp, yet quite moist. Of taste, it was faintly earthy, not too bitter, more like drinking cucumber water rather than biting into a raw vegetable. It was really easy to go down, so much so that I at it all in three bites.

The dream faded shortly after. DEILD transition.

Dream 3 - Quick FPS Indulgence

The visuals were a bit blurred. I was running around in some kind of futuristic industrial site, blinking panels and exposed pipes lining chrome-covered surfaces. I also noticed both my donning a suit of power armor and a wielding a laser rifle.

Not long into this, I found myself under fire. A wild gunfight was taking place. Half a dozen or so other figures were zooming around, each armed and armored similar to myself. Figured this was a FPS scenario of some sort. No sense not indulging. I was rather incautious: where others took over, I merely struck out in the open, firing away at random. I acknowledged how improbably lucky I was not to get shot once.

This went on for a few minutes. Think I managed two kills (the other guys were quite hardy) before the dream collapsed. DEILD transition.

Dream 4 - Sky Hill Skiing

The visuals started almost pitch black. DEILD transition in bed. I roll to the side, and fell into a white void. I tried flying around, only to slide atop an unknown surface.

Soon, I found myself skiing down a snowy slope. I descended for over 1000ft, when the hill suddenly crested up at the edge. Somehow, I was launched straight to the clouds. I spun around, and even did some side-flips and back-flips for good measure. Then, from out of nowhere, I randomly acquired a laser pistol. I shrugged, and fired at the clouds surrounding me.

Things got really hazy. Don't recall how this dream ended. Tried DEILDing when I woke up, but I lost consciousness.


Scrap Group 2
At home. I was watching Jacob play some indie-developed game. It seemed to use graphics from various different sources, including the Demon roguelike. Yet somehow, the game could also create new graphics with assets that was fed to it on the spot, a feature I acknowledged at the time. It otherwise played as a ho-hum platformer RPG. Anyway, from the aforementioned roguelike, I noticed Reprobus was on screen. This got me to ramble on about the boss battle with him and Mordecai. DEILD after I woke up.

Dream 5 - Death to Reprobus

The visuals were a bit blurred and dim. I was walking down a dark hallway. Soon, the passage opened up into a rectangular stadium made of earth and stone. Despite its ancient type of construction, it looked impressively well maintained. Regardless, the site was abandoned.

I immediately recalled that frustrating Reprobus boss fight, my hatred towards the character, and furthermore, my disdain of the mythological figure that inspired him. And so, I conjured a being in his likeness. Unexpectedly, it'd appeared like some live-action furry, which only served to further fuel my ire further. It was around then that I noticed my having a hulking musculature, and my wielding an huge axe.

Obviously, I attacked, charging at the figure. In one swing, I chopped the creature in half through the hip. But I wouldn't stop there. I created many other clones of Reprobus, each making goading postures more obnoxious than the last. The nearest one had the displeasure of having his head lopped off. Before his body fell, I grabbed it, leaped several stories upwards, then chucked it into the dirt, whereupon it exploded into a gory mess. Similar carnage followed with each subsequent copies. My only disappointment was that none of these reprobates seemed to fight back.

Don't recall how this ended. I tried DEILDing again, but lost awareness once more.

Dream 6 - The Littlest Home Invader

The visuals were dim. I was at the front seat of a vehicle, which itself was parked near a small house isolated from civilization, starless night sky above. Cast-iron gates surrounded much of the structure plus its yard.

There was a pre-adolescent girl in the vehicle, light skinned, wavy brown hair, eyes very wide. In fact, she looked quite similar to my cousin Cassandra in her youth. Soon, the girl speaks about the denizens of the nearby house, none of it all too pleasant. She mentions how the people there became wealthy due to predatory lending schemes. Among their victims was the girl's own family. As part of payment, the girl had to give up something of hers, something that she highly regarded. Our reason for being there was plainly apparent: she planned to steal the item back.

It seems I had knowledge on security details about the dwelling. I identified the safest access point was in one of the gates to the backyard, the one closest to the main entrance. Unlike the other doors, which would trigger an alarm when unauthorized figures touched it, that gate would only sound an alarm if it were tampered with unsuccessfully. However, I warned her that only a skilled locksmith would be able to pull off such a task, not to mention that she'd somehow have to sneak past world class private security keeping an eye on the place. The girl looked terrified, yet I knew from the look of her eye that she wasn't going to back down.

Timeskip. Things appear from her viewpoint. The girl sneaks towards the designated gate. She tries picking the lock, but it was quite obvious she had no idea how to do that. Cue the alarms. Fittingly, the Tanker Alert Theme from Metal Gear Solid 2 sounded in the background, and continued throughout the rest of the dream. In any case, the girl flees into the thickets within the nearby forest.

Timeskip again. Spectator mode. The girl could now be seen hurrying through the streets of an industrial urban area. She looked to be at the point of collapsing. Using what little strength she had left, she climbed over a chain link fence into a dark alleyway. The girl then ducks down under a nearby stairway. Seconds later, another figure surveys the area. A security personnel. This was a hard-faced 40 year old woman, light skinned, athletically built, hair tied beneath a cap. The guard searched thoroughly around the site for well over three minutes. It seemed she was about to go elsewhere, when suddenly, she spots the girl.

The suspense wakes me up.

I woke up this morning with dream recall. I remembered only one thing and thought I should lay still longer to remember more and then I will write it down. This didn't work and its not the first time I'v done it. I will write things down as soon as I remember 1 piece. Writing this piece will get the writing going and help me continue on to writing more. Don't let me fool myself again tomorrow morning.

Really bad headache last night, but had some semi-lucid dream as I fell asleep. Haven't been making note of dreams very much in the last few days on account of going through a phase of being too tired on waking and too many mornings having their routines disrupted.

Edit: Somehow nearly forgot an important detail here; While I was in bed trying to fall asleep I did try to incubate dreams about working on my paintings again, my thoughts on this passed fairly early on and I got distracted with other thoughts, getting somewhat vivid music and other sleep cues instead but I suppose the lucid dream did relate directly to the incubation intent. I thought I'd try working on the incubation anyway because of my headache, and it did help to distract me from it.

---

Lucid fragment (on falling asleep):

I didn't notice the transition from wakefulness to dream imagery but I was in a bigger version of our front room. It was day time, my paints and the table I keep them on were there and I remember the big window. I don't think the canvas I've been working on was there. I half realised I was dreaming and walked or ran forward into the room, towards the opposite wall, which is a corner where I keep a bunch of my stuff for painting, but in the dream context it's like there would be a door there or something, even though I couldn't see it yet; I carried out some hand checks as I moved even though I was already in a type of lucidity but the stability started to go pretty quickly and I lost my half-lucid state. Sort of faded away in terms of recall after that.

The only thing I remember after that is a gap of nothingness and then some dreams from the morning, that again I didn't turn into notes.

I just smiled as I lay on the bed.

I found myself laying on a wide couch or bed and I realized that I was dreaming. I couldn't see my hands so I rubbed them and tried to make them appear. I began to feel my hands and a thin white outline was beginning to form around them. But i also felt my body on the physical bed and the two sensations overlapped. I woke and deilded a few short bursts again with same difficulty manifesting my hands. These appeared to be in the same house but I was in the hallways or in the livingroom looking towards the hallway.


Food factory
I find myself on the edge of an island and it's a sharp cliff behind me. The island was steep on top of the hill, shaped like Japanese pudding and the flat land on the top was grassy with greenness. I was lucid. I found a small warehouse in front looked kind a restaurant but couldn't find the entrance. I was floating on air looking to the other side of the building and back. The entrance was at the back towards the middle of the island. Inside it was dusty and I found many old out of service machine there. Maybe cobwebs and just abandoned. These were food production machines and I wanted to see how they were while they worked. So I decided to rewind time here and reverse things there. The machines started working making machine noises and it made food. I think it was like hotdog. I can't remember if ppl showed up to see what was the ruckus.


Jess pokemon

Jess was playing video games at the end of the dream he was lending me video games to play. He was in a classroom in the front of the class. He was lending me Pokémon.

Fragment
I was in a large field on the top of a hill, there was a massive crowd. It was a Bernie Sanders rally, there was a stage on one side of the field. We were showing up early to wait for it to start, he was walking with us at some point.

Non-lucid
I arrived at a place, it looked like an outdoor market. There were a few guys my age walking around looking at things on tables. I thought I was in Thailand but eventually going to China. I asked one of the guys something, then realized several of them were wearing these sideways striped outfits that were black and either green blue or red. I got the idea that they were on some sort of lockdown and now I was going to be too, not sure if it was due to covid19.

I walked through the market and to this location that had a strange looking building. It had steps going up to it and then a lot of steps and other paths around it, it was very open with archs and open windows. Walking around the left side of it I get the idea that this is some sort of hostel or summer camp. I look to my left and see massive rollercoaster tracks going high into the sky all over the place colored orange and green.

I go into the building and see beds in some rooms with people in some of them and others walking around. This place was mostly made of white marble or linoleum. Walking into another room there's a few hot tubs. The idea is that we're going to have to meet up somewhere at 5pm or so. Eventually the dream leads outside back behind the building. There's a lake and the group of people are all by it. There was some sort of activity going on in the lake, my view was skimming over it. Eventually I'm back in the building and the room with a hot tub is completely trashed with old food and other things inside it and around it.

I was in a party and saw JC, the mystic there. It was a dinner party in what seemed like a traditional asian restaurant with round tables on dark colored carpets. They had some food and were celebrating something. They were trying to take group photos but his powers made him invisible on cameras, they just fuzzed out like mosaic. I approached him and wanted to ask him about something... but he just said,

"good little plan for abundance."

I was confused, because I wasn't trying to get info on money and I didn't recall any plan regarding it, so I kept trying to pester him, following him into another store but that was all.

Maybe abundance could have been more than just about money. I do recall plans, a plan for my growth and a plan for some money.

Dreams from 14th, 17th and 18th. Mostly just copied directly from any morning notes I made for each day. Some notes in-line with the entries.

---

14th:

Dream Fragment:

First dream? Some Egyptian place, a big outdoor temple. I remember detailed stone and all the shapes I normally associate with ancient Egyptian architecture. I remember night time but also day time. It was a fairly long dream.

It was a game like world or something. I was Link from Legend of Zelda? I remember fighting winged obsidian statues (likely "borrowed" from WoW). I remember the feel of a controller in my hands though. Maybe a Gamecube or Nintendo 64 controller, but could have just been a Wii one, since the joysticks have remained fairly similar over the years.

Dream Fragment:

A dream I'd travelled to my native country but with my high school class, and some other classmates from childhood. I remember we were in a coastal area visiting something. I forget all the details. This black I knew, Milt, was messing around some exhibit area? And then we were burying smoe ancient and withered corpse that had not received any funereal service. We then surrounded him with rocks and then placed larger boulders on top of him. The corpse was on a small dirt incline, about 20 or 30 degrees steep.

Then I remember a room, indoors but nearby. It was dark inside, but I can't remember what happened there.

Dream Fragment:

Last dream that I woke up with, a WoW dream. Was playing rogue as usual and I was together with a raid group in Orgrimmar. We were in a different version of Thrall's throne room, it was more like a mix of Stormwind in a way because there was a lot of white stone and it was well lit.

We were all bunched up in a corner, waiting for Horde players to come. I remember we didn't want to attack Thrall until we'd dealt with most of the nuisance players that would appear. We had already attacked Thrall before? I remember feeling surprise at the fact that none of the Alliance players from the raid group were messing around.

17th:

Scraps:

Something about trains? Vaguely recall the dream took place outside and that it was day.

18th:

Dream:

The dream was a bit of a mix of Freelancer and other space games I've played over the years. I was avoiding some large blocky asteroids while flying a ship, and when I got clear of the asteroids I noticed a planet in the distance. I kept my course which was already on approach to it and noticed a gas cloud/small nebula formation appear. It was a green-ish dark mustard colour and mostly surrounded the planet. Like a smog coming off the planet.

I remember the descent down into the atmosphere in some detail. There was some virtual interface element somewhere that, combined with the structures I saw, made me understand that the planet was mostly covered by factories and dense cities comprised mostly of narrow but tall skyscrapers. It looked like most of the surface area was being maximised for industrial output space, not for living. I landed somewhere and went to a bar of sorts, typical of Freelancer-like gameplay.

People didn't look well off. There was a stereotypical North American "Trucker" feel to the place and there was an overall air that this entire place existed in a state of bare subsistence. I remember talking to some of these people but I don't remember exactly about what. It was night time both through the descent and while I was at the bar place.

Dream Fragment:

Some underground place, very well lit. There was a feel to the dream like some of the more dark and serious anime type stuff, such as full film-type productions. There were policemen with gas masks and they threw some sort of stunning gas grenades. I try to escape with two other people. We were doing a heist or something? The police looked like the Secreta from E.Y.E. but with typical blue and white colours instead of gold and black.

Some transition or outside? A rail track of some sort. The dream was quite long but I was a bit too tired and I've forgotten most details. I remember two groups of people, and Auron from FFX. There was some cart carriage thing that went on the rail track...

Summary
Trouble recalling first part of dreams

I was on the second floor of school in a classroom. It was like a gymnasium and I got a call from a guy who made me irritated. I decided to go find him and leave here. I was going from classroom to classroom via doors that connected from one class to another until I got to the end of the classroom that didn't have any connective doors. There was sabyn there and she was worried about me but I brushed her off. I decided to head out to the hallways and tried to find my destination. I did realize that I had only underwear on and it was slightly embarrassing but I kept going. I was on the first floor after descending downstairs but I wasn't sure where I was going. I headed back to the stairway but somehow I was now inside a mall. People stared at me as because I was still in my underwear. I told myself I decide how I feel and I kept walking. After passing like 2 intersections inside the mall, I became lucid. I walked a bit more and found a bench and sat on it. There was a black guy to the left, I think he had dreads he looked like 30-40, and an older woman with wrinkles in the wrinkly areas that you get wrinkles if you smile too much, to the right I'm not exactly sure where she's from. The lady reminded me of the oracle from matrix. We talked about some things, recalling it now but might have been sort of important. I asked the man's name and he told me... I forgot his name now and then I asked the name of the old lady, she was smiling but I FA/Woke.

I was in a bedroom or a sauna and wasn't lucid but after a bit I did become lucid.

I remember spinning to teleport because the dream was getting unstable, there was someone with me.. maybe it was dream guide. I just remember something/someone trying to help me out.

I was in a snowy field, lucid there was like a shallow pond to the right and there were grassy stuff growing at the bottom of the pond. I grabbed and squished the snowand it became hard, I put some in my mouth and it was indeed hard and tasted like hardened snow. I then entered the pond and tried to swim a bit. I wanted to keep going but woke.


* I remember that I got lucid because I was telling myself "this is a dream" while in the mall.

Hello there, fellow Oneironauts! To aid our exploration, I'll throw my hat into the ring.

My "Self Sustaining Lucidity" theory:

Supplements / Preparational techniques: Meditation, Prospective Memory Training, Binaural Beats. (I also plan to make custom affirmations with my custom MILD Mantra)

Techniques: WBTB, MILD, DILD (Combined only on weekends cause I'm still in school, although WBTB seems to lower my chances. Perhaps it's my perception that it lowers my chances, or maybe WBTB isn't a good tech for me personally. Likely a combination of both.)

Plan: Get into a dream, become lucid, go to my lucid dream workshop, access my dream console (Supercomputer AI that acts as a physical representation of my subconscious) give the voice command "Activate Self Sustaining Lucidity". This will give me a burst of lucidity at the beginning of every dream. I confirm it and it will work as long as I believe it to work and since expectation is everything in LDs, it will work.

I believe that it will work though because I've found that the more immersed you are, the more likely you are to believe something. For example, the entire concept of "Suspension of Disbelief" in games. If you have good worldbuilding that immerses someone in the world, they are more likely to believe things that happen within the world. It's a similar effect here. Sure, I could just walk up to my subconscious in a dream like "Give me lucidity" but that's not really immersive to me. Being in a facility of my own design while interfacing with my subconscious as the most powerful AI in the world would definitely help with immersion.

TL;DR
I'm essentially using a lucid dream to produce more lucid dreams hence the name "Self Sustaining Lucidity". That's what I called Omnilucidity before I realized others had coined the term. I get into a dream and activate SSL from within my Lucid Dreaming Workshop. I do it the way I do it for immersion, as immersion is good for stabilization and aids in expectation which is key in LDs since you control the dream. On at least a basic level it makes sense because if you don't believe you can do something you've already defeated yourself. There's a quote that sums it up best. I don't know who said it, but it goes like this: "Believe you can, believe you can't; either way, you're right."

(Probably) FAQ
Q. Why only a burst of lucidity instead of complete lucidity all the time?

A. This is because we have multiple dreams per night as we complete our multiple sleep cycles. It would be annoying to become fully lucid in every dream because you'd always be aware of the several times you naturally wake up during the night. This gives me an option to let the dream fly by so I don"t remember the times i wake up; thus preserving the feeling of one cohesive sleep like it usually feels. All I have to do is lock in my lucidity if I want to continue as lucid.

I suppose if you are lucid you can use time dilation to instantly skip to the end of the dream. While this is "Faster", because you're lucid, you're aware of wakeup. If you lost lucidity, the next thing you remember will be in another dream.

I'm open to suggestions on alterations of this theory after I've done it. I will definitely make sure to post my findings, although, due to the very nature of my plan, I won't know it's worked until the night after.

Morning of March 17, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,447-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



Dream sequence 1 is predictable sleep-wake mediation of emerging liminality stemming from my instinctual recognition that dream state physicality is not real. An imaginary fence defines my skewed perception of potential liminality as a virtual barrier between sleep and consciousness.

In this instance of the usual process, my dream incorrectly establishes that it is Halloween (an incidental association with the false identity of the dream state). Another error (to stop waking-life agreement) is that the fence on the west side of our house is not a solid wall. The events occur late at night.

At this point, precursory liminality allows for my recall of Zsuzsanna (though the recall we have children initiates later in my dream). Additionally, as a result of the dynamics of this process, I have a viable recall of where I live in waking life (rather than the usual false setting). I am setting up a scarecrow, using some of my clothes, as a Halloween decoration. It is on the inside of our fence near the northwest corner. It is my instinctual analogy of validating my dream state physicality as false but still as a precursor to potential physical discernment. (A scarecrow has occurred as this signification in previous dreams, though statues and dolls are more common.)

Dream sequence 2 is further activation of the foundational process as previously described and explained. It stems from physicality becoming a more emergent factor but also inclusive of disguised recall that I have a young daughter. As a result, an unfamiliar black girl (of about seven years of age) stands to the left of the outside of our front gate (from our porch’s viewpoint) where the mailbox is in reality (though it is not present in my dream). (Being near the mailbox location, despite its erroneous absence, is a factor of sleep-wake communication or, assuming enigmatic space is overlapping into my dream space, transpersonal communication, probably from our daughter.) She aggressively shakes the vertical bars of the fence, making an incredible racket. I tell her to stop, but she continues.

“I’m going to get my gun,” I say through our open front door, though I am not serious. I want the unknown child to go away even though her presence is the result of deliberate summoning to vivify my dream, which it does, exponentially. (A gun is typically the result of the fictitious dream self attempting to maintain an illusion in contrast to the reticular activating system initiating, which is otherwise the natural progression of sleep-wake transitioning.) The child does not leave. I turn left to ask Zsuzsanna where the gun is. (Zsuzsanna sleeps on my left.) I have the false recall that I own a gun and that it might be on the DVD player (association with imagination, correlating with watching movies). The girl eventually leaves but comes back with her father.

Dream sequence 3 establishes that emerging liminality changes the direction of my dream. The girl and her father are in our lounge room. At first, I see it as an intrusion. My dreaming status resets and loops with different events five times. In the third loop, there are about five members of the girl’s family entering our home, including her mother and an older sister. I am puzzled and ask them how they are doing this. One of them points at the outside of our front door, and I see that there is a silver key in the door’s barrel lock. Still, at this point, my dream has reset again, and the family is only now arriving on our porch.

Suddenly, I recall that I have a young daughter (which eventually unlocks recall I have additional children). I think she might like to meet the unknown girl. I no longer see the people as intruders even though I did not ask them in. I look around, but I cannot find her. I ask family members where she is.

Dream sequence 4 is the fourth form of liminality mediation when the unnamed man sits down on our couch to watch television. I notice that, as he is sitting down, a much older man than him on the television screen is sitting down, mirroring his actions, though he has a white beard while the man in our lounge room has no beard. I find this amusing, but I do not comment on it.

---

The man on television, with his short white beard, correlates with my waking-life identity, triggering my waking.

---

Overall, this is the same preconscious template as in thousands of previous dreams.

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Go into ‘Nana’s house’, call for her but she seems to not be there, it’s dark, (it’s basically Kandy crescent house, but not fully,) I go around looking for something, but weird things start happening: in the dim light I can just see a chest of drawers come sliding down the hallway, and either it bumps into me or I kick it; I kick it and the drawers fly out. I call out “who’s there?”, “Nana?” and “stop it!” Soon I start to walk down hallway to leave, and more things happen, things just fly around, I might scream, I hear noises, and I might shout at them. I think I still ask about Nana; do I ask if she’s here, if she’s ok? I know I need to leave this house. Outside, I’m flying, and it soon occurs to me that I’m dreaming. I’m aware of this for a few seconds before I decide to actually stop what I’m doing and do what I want to do. Then I’m like, ok, be lucid, I’m lucid, and then I go down on the ground and I think of eating lettuce, a basic task of the month. I basically am on a mission now, I expect a fridge is where I’ll find lettuce so I find a house, actually I think I go back into the same house, but I am hoping it will look different to before, and it does. I go to the kitchen, open the fridge, on my way to there I'm sort of rushing, thinking I want to get it done fast before I lose focus and forget or wake up, but then the rushing means I’m not even experiencing everything I’m doing, so I force myself to slow down, and think about what I’m feeling and seeing as I open the fridge, hoping to kind of move at the same speed as my body, not letting it get ahead of me. I seem to remember seeing carrots, but don’t think I do anything with them. I decide to open a tub of margarine and scrape some up in my fingers, hoping I can smell and taste it strongly and be anchored more in the dream. I sniff it but can’t smell it, it barely has a scent. I give up, must somehow get the butter off my hands (I don’t remember, perhaps I just forget it’s there), and then look to find some lettuce; on the bottom shelf, on the left, see a lettuce, or a third of one, the bottom third, but it’s a lettuce nonetheless, I’m sure, not cabbage, and I pick it up and take a bite - suddenly outside again? - and I’m feeling pretty amazed and on top of the world because I just for the first time ever completed a task in the correct month and it feels good. I take another bite or two of the lettuce. It’s quite thin leaves, or the first was, but it still feels ok, not like rubbery or old. I don’t focus very much on the taste or texture. Then there’s something about Mum, and Adam? I think of other goals, there’s a person here and I try to think of a lucid goal involving them (though there might not really be any)? Expect I soon lose lucidity.
At like a little beach or lake, with my mother (maybe Jenn Husser from Claws) and others, I start to notice and get suspicious about part of the water, basically the part of the beach/shore next to a building the others are standing nearer to, so from where they are they can’t so much see it, but a few dogs are standing on the shore, maybe first just a couple and they’re barking, and also another person - Polly? nah maybe not - says something about it. I’m getting ahead of myself - I think first, I’m suspicious, but can’t prove anything to myself, and finally the other person points things out, points out the bones which confirm my suspicion that my mother/Jenn (if that’s who it is) killed her sister and this is where.
Ask Polly about other woman’s, my mother’s, sister, who died, if she knows anything about it; remember as I'm about to ask that it was Polly's sister who died; ask anyway, hoping I might still be right about that. Polly’s face changes a bit like she’s thinking about it and worried and then she quietly says ‘yes’, tells me about it? Or her telling me yes is enough for me. Then I go into the room, upstairs (?), and Polly comes too, and are we packing? Preparing to leave?

Chaos. Memorable moments. Lots of false awakenings, 3 LDs. No techniques used, just enough sleep after a short night before.

In the fourth sleep cycle (probably) I had a long dream of some action movie stuff. It wasn't lucid but there was an ever increasing underlying knowledge of being in a dream. When I was driving in a car in an obviously unrealistic setting (jumping across a large gap) it suddenly clicked and I felt lucidity setting in. I remembered to try rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream and did so. Everything I was looking at got crystal clear and I got even more conscious, too. Maybe I was too aware because the dream ended shortly after. It was so short I'll not even count this as full lucid dream.

In the next sleep cycle I had another long non-lucid dream where I was at my old school. After some time I realized that it wasn't normal for cars driving around the school office and down the stairs (btw, what's going on with cars this night?!). I wasn't fully lucid up to now but as I went down the corridor my awareness increased. I went towards my former classroom and greeted some classmates on the way. All of them were very friendly which is rather rare amongst my DCs (when I'm lucid). In the classroom there were lots of people, a wild mix from different times of school, university and work. Most of them were no close friends or I didn't remember their names at all, so I looked out for more familiar faces. Turning around I found an old friend I've lost contact to since then. I went towards her and hugged her; she wouldn't let go for quite some time.
Then, I remembered that I planned to have some deeper conversations with DCs and - in this setting - I thought it would be a good idea to have a philosophy lesson next. The dream obeyed: one of my former philosophy teachers walked through the door (not the one I had expected but still). Sadly I never got to discuss anything there as I woke up.

I'm not sure how much time passed but eventually I found myself back in bed apparently awake but suspecting a false awakening. I did the nose pinch RC repeatedly but the results weren't clear, breathing was quite difficult. Then I noticed my mother standing in the room talking to me which was rather unlikely but no clear indication either. I needed to prove my dream state somehow and swung my arms forwards - they went right through her body. Now I could be sure and she disappeared.
I was walking towards my computer when everything changed all of a sudden. It's somewhat hard to describe but it felt as if I went through different dream settings one after the other at light speed. I couldn't notice any details as it changed too fast; they were just like three dimensional pictures raining on me or maybe I was travelling through these 'rooms'. Perhaps this is similar to what people experience when they talk about seeing their life flash before their eyes, I can't tell.
Anyway, I knew this would be a chance to dive deeper into my subconscious. After some moments my travel came to an end and I found myself standing on a deserted street. A female soldier was walking towards me in a resolute manner, holding something in her hand. I somehow knew what had to be done to go deeper: I had to die.
She got closer and I tried to remain as calm as possible as she stabbed me with the dagger in her hand. There was no pain, I simply sank to the ground. Suddenly I was back at my computer and it felt as if I was only playing a video game. But here I too got down onto the floor and died.
Then, I was back in bed. I RCed again, this time clearly indicating the false awakening, though moving my arm felt far too real. I was in a weird state of consciousness and so it was easy to let go and continue on my previous path. The surroundings changed and I was standing on top of a skyscraper. Once again I knew what to do: this time I had to jump down.
But I never got to do it as something else got in the way. With every step I took towards the abyss I felt more and more (sexually?) aroused. This has never happened before in a LD. It was an utterly primal feeling and in the end it got almost too intense. I woke up with my whole body tingling.

Jamie dreams

First thing is a dream about making out with jamie. Second is just us walking somewhere in a house or something and she's walking beside me and she seems happy. I miss the longer more detailed dreams about Jamie.

Living room.

i was in a living room with lots of people. We were watching tv or playing video games or something. A blond girl that seems familiar (maybe a co worker?!?!?) starts trying to kiss me and complains i've never made any moves on her. I say, "I'm just to shy unless a girl really lets me know." or something and we start kissing. I suddenly can't breathe while kissing her and i panic myself awake.

weird

Okay before this dream I was watching star trek Picard. I was dreaming a dream from soji's ( a character in the show) perspective. She was in a house or something and kept seeing oeople that looked like her out the window. The most startling was when she looked in a mirror and someone who sort of looked like her was in the mirror.

Crazy

A dream about the blond girl again... this time it was clearly my coworker. She seemed overly flirty or something and offered me a ride home from work, the only condition being was that she was going to spend hours visiting random guys. I said, no that's okay i have to be home sooner and I'll just take the bus, because I have to take care of my dog. to that she seemed overly offended, was really mad at me and stormed off.

She was taunting me throughout the dream. i was later on a mountain ina village or people on the side of the mountain. A bunch of people were possessed and acting evil, including the girl. we then somehow put them all on a truck and drove the truck off the cliff to kill them and the evil. I was still paranoid the evil was still lingering. Then the sane people lost their minds and started acting like zombies. then I woke up.