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I've had enough sleep today, but my recall is still vague. Go figure. I am in a village, and our community has to defend regularly against some kind of threat. I am seeing things in a side-scroller perspective, like Starbound. Someone is complaining that I find too many children on my expedition and leaving them at the village just put them at risk. I'm... not sure how that logic works.

18th century. It was a late afternoon. I visited some woman in early thirties - she had dark hair and was wearing a gray coat - in a museum, she was a teacher leading a group of children. We started dancing to music played on a strange piano - whenever a girl playing on that piano pressed a button, one of huge lightbulbs on top of it went lit. We talked as we danced, children watching. We were talking about some ghost of a kid in some old orphanage. Everything went black. I woke up in my house on the floor, some woman in early twenties lying on top of me. She had long white hair and was wearing only green underwear. The girl that played on a piano slept in my bed. I said "Hell, DC wake up and let me stand." After a while she woke up and we both got up. The piano girl woke up too and asked "Aren't we late by now? We must go!" The woman stripped of her clothes and we both said "No, we've got something to do first." Then we had sex.

I found myself in a bedroom. The floor was covered in blood. So were the walls. Something felt very, very wrong. I was freaked out, and wanted to get out of the room. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I was afraid something would jump out at me now, that it was a trap, that they were waiting for me to try and escape. Luckily, I could unlock the door and exit into a corridor. To my horror, the rest of the house looked much the same. The floors covered entirely in blood. The walls covered in "blood" as well. I use quotation marks, because the blood on the walls resembled moss a little bit, reminiscent of the red weed from 'The War of the Worlds' (no surprise, I read something related to tWotW the night before). I got out of the house, and realized something bad was happening everywhere. It was night. I noticed the house was located in a typical suburban neighborhood. At another house across the street, I noticed a woman and her two kids. Little kids, aged approximately 5 or 6 years old. I "knew" they were possessed. The mother too, probably. The kids ran towards me, and I knew they would try to kill me. One of them threw rocks (or shot them at me with a catapult). The other tried to set me on fire using a kind of highly flammable liquid. I was forced to use extreme force. I held the kid in a stranglehold, and said that if he torched me, he would burn too. I don't remember what happened next, but I think I either simply knocked them out, or killed them. I woke up, remembering what horrors I had just committed to survive.

There was another dream, which I forgot.

Morning of October 2, 2016. Sunday.



I am in our front yard at our present address in late morning. Three of my fictitious sons and one real one (the youngest; Oliver) are present. They are in a group facing each other. There are also a few unknown children, both male and female, closer to the curb. No one is perceived as mischievous.

I absentmindedly tell a fictitious son, “I told you not to stand around at the front of our house”.

Immediately after this, I am facing a young girl and it is implied that she thought I had said this to her. The sudden location shift, as if I had unwillingly rapidly turned counterclockwise as my fictitious son only moved slightly to my right so that I now suddenly faced the girl, does not strike me as impossible or trigger any realization that it could only be a dream.

I inform her that I was not talking to her but was saying this to my son in the hopes of not offending her. I am not sure why I am making an implied apology to the preconscious avatar, but this situation seems a bit backwards, as it would make more sense to tell strangers not to hang around at the front of our house rather than our own children (whether they are only a dream state denizen or not).

---

This dream is not symbolic of, or literally relevant to, any recent real-life event and I would certainly not talk to any of our children this way in real life. It is typical waking transition autosymbolism that often involves the preconscious avatar (the unknown girl in this case) initiating a return-to-consciousness trigger, in this case, because I had been asleep on my right side (which I consider unhealthy, as it results in lighter and less restful sleep). In this case, it is a precursor to rolling over in bed (counterclockwise as in my dream), in the direction Zsuzsanna is sleeping (on my left).

---

1) A girl was in a cablecar. I had to get to her so was on the roof of the cablecar. There was an announcement that the cable had become jammed, a guard came to check the girl's ticket, I scrambled around the cablecar to get to her without being seen.

2) On a long distance car journey. It was getting warm later morning and I commented that the traffic was increasing and it was good we had got away early. Then I was sitting outside the car with another man he seemd like a student of some sort, he was asking questions. He asked me if I undertood the futures market, I said that I didn't know anything about it and he offered to explain it to me.

3) In a large hall. There was a cartoon like woman running around I gathered she was something to do with lightning. She ran up to the top of some steps and went onto a ledge - it was like I was watching a film. She was rolling a container towards the edge and some old powerful looking man was talking to her in a booming voice (just like in a film) telling her not to do it. Then I was back in the hall. My wife was organising some sort of sleep over and children were arriving and being put to bed. For some reason I started getting changed into my motorcycling clothing, it as so tight I had to lie on the floor and ask my wife to do up the final zip, after that all I could do was lie there and couldn't move.

4) Walking down an alleyway, someone walked past me and smiled as if they knew something. I got to the end of the alley and there was a large thorn bush growing across so I couldn't get past, so I turned around. As I reached the other end two people I knew were walking past, they were organising a run and I think I talked to them about it and realised that I couldn't join in because I wouldn't make it on time.

A Japanese "castle" that I explored with a group of others?

Sailboating somewhere (not me driving) off the coast. The weather looked like it was getting pretty bad when we left (dark clouds approaching, already pretty high waves), so I wondered if this was really a good idea.

I was with some kid in the desert, next to a large structure. We wanted to leave. I started climbing a sandy hill, but the sand was deep and hard to move through. The hill suddenly turned extremely steep (90°), so it was impossible. A kid (possibly accompanied by another) appeared on top, seething with anger. He was mad at the kid who was with me, I think. I asked him why he was so angry. He replied that he had shown a potential customer the apartment, and that customer didn't want to rent it. Or something like it. He was in our way, and I didn't want to be trapped in there forever (it was the only way out), soI walked up to the wall of sand and kicked it. The sand collapsed, and the kid on top fell down with it. He immediately attacked me, possibly wielding some kind of stick or bat. I kept fighting, until I realized I must have been 15 years older than this kid and could easily overpower him. With some help of the other kid (he was possibly inspired by "Piggy" from Lord of the Flies, I watched the 1990 film yesterday and am still reading the book) I got him on the ground. He was swearing, but I grabbed his throat with both hands, and in the heat of the moment felt the desire to kill him. I squeezed hard, he went red and coughed a bit. I leaned closer, bit into his neck and savagely ripped out a chunk of flesh. Last thing I remember is me saying "Die, you little shit!". Then I woke up.

Thought I'd add another dream to my log.

The only thing I remember of last night, is that I was murdering children. Yes. With my bare hands. And I didn't feel anything. No anger, no remorse, nothing. I think I killed a dozen of them, and was still doing this when I woke up. I have plenty of violent dreams, or "rage dreams" in which someone pisses me off or attacks me, but this was unprovoked. Very disturbing.

Bedtime:
10:15pm
Wakeup:
7:30am

Recall wasn't so good last night, I didn't have my focus. I had a 10 hour work day, so my sleep was very deep. Did recall one solid dream though.

Dream 1
I was at a mass in a town near where I grew up, and my whole family was there. Halfway into the mass, this woman started giving a presentation, but there was some kids who were being really loud. I didn't witness exactly what happened, but the woman made these kids leave. I saw the mother gather her children and yell "Don't worry, we won't be coming back!" and she looked really angry. The next thing I know, my aunt goes up to the woman and ruins her presentation. She scribbles all over her whiteboard and says some stuff to her about how you can't just kick children out of the church. Then she realizes how embarrassing her actions were and starts crying. I get up and take her to the sacristy, and she's crying and says she was just really mad at how the woman treated that family. Then the priest comes in to talk to her, and I'm just sort of observing the whole thing. I forget what he was saying to her, but then the woman came in and she seemed really embarrassed and emotional as well. My aunt wouldn't talk to her or even look at her, and then I think we left.

Dream 2 (fragment):
This fragment is like a fake memory from high school, there's a bunch of kids from my class in a park behind my house, and we're all doing this music video with choreographed dancing and singing. I remember seeing my best friend from high school, who I haven't spoken to in years IRL, and I just remember avoiding her the whole time, even though we were still in high school and supposedly still friends. Awkward feelings...

Bedtime:
2:00am
Wakeup:
10:30am

Dream 1 (fragment):
I was on a rooftop of a high rise building, and the roof was a pool. I was with my sister, and we had this giant floatation device in the shape of an octopus, it was huge and pink, and somehow it fell off the roof into the street and I could hear crashing and horns and screaming. Oops!

Dream 2:
I came home but my apartment was way bigger than normal, though I didn't question it in the dream. There were children running around, and I knew my roommate was supposed to be babysitting them, but she was talking to some tall mysterious men on a screened in porch. The kids were crying, and I had to give one of them a haircut, but she kept thrashing and running away, and then she said she hated the haircut cuz her hair looked curly. I tried to get her to sit down to let me finish, and I offered to blow-dry it so that it would be straight but she was just crying and freaking out. Eventually my roommate came out to take care of them and then the parents came and got them.

#490

Im at some church service with my mom. They talk about some lady keeping her baby after being raped and that baby having 33 kids. Justin says doesn't that hurt? I say, "Nah after awhile they just fall out in a conga line." We laugh, but notice she's right behind me. I'm not totally sure it's her but Im scared to look. I tell Justin look because I can't tell.

We are on a bus now. The lady is question is talking in British accent about her recent child birthing. I realize it is her and hope she didn't hear me make fun of her.

The bus stops. My son, Riley and younger daughter, Dalynn, get off. I'm overly aware od Riley's glowing red shirt. They walk past my window alone. I panic and start knocking on glass the glass to get them to loo at me. I yell, "They got off!" Dalynn phased through the bus and takes a sear, but the bus driver leaves Riley. He's too young. My mom is the bus driver. I scream, "You're leaving Riley!"
She calmly says" Well, he'll have to find his way back."
I say, "You're not leaving him. If this was real life you wouldn't." I look at my older daugher, "Hey! "Is this real life?" She just looks at me curious. I go ahead and do a nose plug just in case

Lucid now, I move to front of bus. I say to my mom "He's back right there now. No worries...boom." I point and turn expecting to see him. There he is. "Look mom, there he is. I look at mom and look back. He's not there for a second but I refuse to believe it. I look harder and a different child morphing into his likeness. I see he's wearing the same red shirt and leave it at that. I don't get caught up on the details. I'm just really determinded to not leave my child alone at a bus stop dream or no dream. I wake up.

There was an evil man who lived in town, and Jasper and I both knew it. We seemed to be a part of a super hero team (he was even wearing a cape!) and were trying to get him so that we could kill him. He lived in a mansion and had at least two daughters (once of which was closer to our age, and the other was a younger girl who was probably seven or eight years old. The older daughter knew how terrible her father was and at some point in the dream was even with us in the car, plotting. The younger daughter was also with us . . . but I don't remember how (or when) she got in there.

The dad stepped out: he was wearing white clothes and had a full head of blond hair. It was raining and night time and he was yelling so much, but we weren't afraid (because fuck yeah super heroes). The older daughter disappeared and we were worried because she might be in there with her father, and who knows what he would do to her if he knew that she had changed her alliances?

So we were left with the younger girl, who clearly did not grasp the gravity of the situation and did not seem to fully understand just how bad of a person her dad was. It was terrible!

I remember I was in the back seat with her, trying to take care of her, while Jasper was the one trying to man the wheel. The girl started complaining that she was hungry, and she did so so much that we were about ready to give in. "We don't have the money for that," said Jasper.

"You have to have the money," she said. "It's not right if you don't. I want to go somewhere."

"And where do you want to go?" he asked, weary.

"Rat-E-Cheese."

"That place is expensive. It'll wipe out our bank card. Will that do it for you?"

She seemed to take the hint because she sat down in an odd angle in the car seat and didn't say anything for a couple of moments. Then, when Jasper and I thought she was done, she said, "Yeah, that'll do it though!"

We decided that we did need to feed her somehow or another. Jasper knew where Rat-E-Cheese was and set off. We were talking about our battle plans when, half-way through, we realized that the girl was no longer with us. We thought that she might have been re-captured by her father, or even that she had fallen out of the car door. We inherently knew that she was safe for the moment, though, and kept going until we could find a place where we could turn around, and while we were doing so we used that time to keep talking about battle plans.

"We don't need to tell that girl what her father is, though," said Jasper.

"I know, that would be shitty." I was thinking about all of the times my mom had talked so badly about my own dad to me. I knew "what he was" then, but it was nonetheless distressing hearing it come from her. I wondered what we were going to do when we actually broke into the mansion. I pictured killing him beside his fireplace by chopping off his head, and then finding the little girl afterwards and trying to explain that she was going to be living with us from now on. Even in my head that didn't sound like it was going to go down well.

We passed Rat-E-Cheese before we were able to turn around, and when we did I realized that it was just a knock-off version of Chuck-E-Cheese (even "Chuck-E," which was painted on the building, was just a more realistic rat). I told Jasper that it was a good thing we didn't take her to that place anyway, because we could do better.

The beginning of the dream featured my best friend Jasper as an actor of a comedy movie. I didn't think that the movie was very good, because you could tell that it was cheaply made and very crude. I don't remember much about it, except I do remember that Jasper puked everywhere in one seen, and that he was wearing a red plaid shirt--and his hair was different. Made to fit the part of the silly environment.

After Mama and I watched the movie, I went to a school. I'm not exactly sure what I was doing there, but there were a lot of kids that kept teasing me and touching me. I tried to just shake it off, but it was becoming very frustrating (though, I will note that I don't remember it making me sad or embarrassed). There was one little kid that came up and hugged me. I could tell that he had a bit of a little boy crush.

Then it seemed to be early in the next day, and my dad was trying to get my attention. For whatever reason I didn't want to talk to him, and so instead I ran out the back door. I remember thinking that I was running pretty fast and that that was a good thing. I ran to the direction of the other half of the trailer park, except the area in the dream was more forest-like. I climbed up a tree by using a ladder that was leaned against it and came to a sort of boxed-in opening, and crawled through. I crawled all the way to the back and sat, with my heart beating fast and feeling the exhilaration of running away. It was still very early in the morning, so I didn't have to deal with any of the neighborhood kids. When looking out I was able to see the tree across from me that had a hole in it just like the one I was in. There was also the head and shoulders of a young woman with long brown hair and a green shirt that seemed to be painted on the wall of the opposing tree.

As I was looking at the painting, the neighborhood monkey joined me in the tree. It had a red shirt and blue jeans on, and looked a bit cartoonish. It came to light that my life was a children's television show, and at the end a bunch of children that I couldn't see were singing about how the monkey had mayonnaise.

D1 - I have no idea, there is some kind of big ominous robot, quite smooth and grey and green, it is backlight so pretty dark. Either side are duplicates that are half size. There is some significance to all this and of course it all seemed important in the dream lol.

D2 - Queueing with a load of kids, also a woman with a buggy and baby inside. We are waiting for some kind of rations.
I am feeling worried. The queue is super slow, it seems we will be waiting a long time. Everyone is acting like its an everyday happening.

D3 - Some guy has come into my mum and dad's garden, wandered in (this actually used to happen lol). I am busy talking urgently to someone and so do not have the time to talk. My friend gives him the low down on the best file compression algorithum for using on his mac.

D4 - I am in the back of someones yard, it is a real mess. I am doing gardening to make some extra money, I am quite happy till it hits me that this money will not be enough.
I go taking people on tours of london, even a Harry Potter tour but again I get little money. I try to find out how to encourage more people on my tour and am busy learning my lines, and reading up on places of interest.
I am frustracted and worried.

Preface:
Oh yeah, saw The Cure live in concert last night!!! Super excited! I did a few RCs while at the concert, because I felt like I was in a dream. It seems to have helped as I was able to recall a lot of details. I did get caught in the rain though, so the sickness I was fighting has finally caught up to me. Sore throat, itchy throat, headache, stuffy nose.

DR 1
My best friend and I are walking; we've just come from eating soup at a restaurant in Chinatown. The weather is warm and we are both wearing shorts. She has on a white cotton blouse. We are talking about life and our next career move, etc..when we see a yellow banner from one of the restaurants has blown down. It has red letters, but I can't make out what it says. I just know its a restaurant banner. It blows across the street and becomes entangled in a black gate. I go across the street to untangle it. I take my time getting the banner strings loose, and it untangles. But then, as I am holding it, it turns into two white figurines. They look like little white figures of a king and queen, with no faces, about 12 inches tall. There is a man walking by, kind of scruffy looking, and he starts to kind of bother me, hitting on me and such..I ignore him and I walk around the corner (to my right) to a place where there are bushes, and a small garden. There is a small plot- someone has dug a small square plot for the figurines. Feeling like they want me to bury them, I place them in the plot and I cover them with leaves. I stand in silence and there is a soft breeze. I can hear the spirits on the wind agreeing that I have done what they have asked me to do.

DR 2
I am on vacation with friends, some of them are from work. We are on the coast, and the water is blue- very blue and clear. There is a long wooden board, about 6 inches wide from land to a yacht. My friends tell me to walk it, that I'll have no problem, so I start. I begin to walk it like I am on a balance beam. I'm being careful, and when I come halfway to the boat from land, I sort of lose my balance. Instead of falling into the water, I revert to gymnastics training and fall, with one leg on either side of the board, and catch myself with my hands. I softly place my behind on the board and let my feet dangle in the water. (whew!) I then notice one of my friends (? nobody i know IRL, a blonde girl) jump from the yacht and begin to moonwalk over the water. She starts saying its so easy, and my friends start to follow her, doing their own versions of the running man or "cutting" across the water. I am laughing and I think it so cool. I get up to try and the dream changes. The water is so beautiful, clue and clear. (I realize now that all of this really should have woken me up into lucidity.)

DR 3
I am back on land with my friends and we are still vacationing. We are sunbathing on land in front of a huge sand pit, The inside appears to have been lined with millions of very colorful lego blocks. Its like, a pit for dirt bike riding or something. I find this very interesting because I have never seen anything like it before. I look around and there are different sand pits around but before I can look at them in detail.. a toddler girl comes running up to me and puts her face right in front of me, tells me my name and cries "tell us about ellomenopy!!!"
I'm like, "what is that?!" There are toddlers all around, and in front of me, a few feet away, is a professional filmmaker. They scream the word at me again...In surprise, I ask the kids to use the word in a sentence. In response, they sing the alphabet, and I laugh, be cause they have combined the letters L M N O P and created a word..I make up some meaning of the word that is very very silly and go on to explain it, and the camera crew laughs. They finish the scene and the babies go off to play.
My friends and I continue about this play land, and we want to get something to eat. I wake up.

My dream starts off with me working at The Boys and Girls Club, I was the server at the snackbar making and passing food to the children. It was closing time and I was supposed to start walking home. I walk outside and see a shooting star, and next to that a blimp starts to crash and fireworks started shooting off at the same time. because of the crash I hear an ambulance in the distance. Some of the children where left behind so I started to walk them home, I take them through the park and I see fire in the distance, as I get closer I see that it was a house on fire! One of the children run inside then run back out, I grab the water-hose and run inside. there was allot of smoke so I start spraying the hose, I look down and see a toddler crying so I grab him and run back outside and give him to one of the children. I run back inside and get to a recliner and see a blanket with a figure under it. I pull back the cover and find a 1 year old baby, looked dead but then looked up. next to that was a cradle with another blanket and a smaller figure. I pull the blanket and find a newborn , grab him and now I had 2 babies in my arms running back outside and give the babies to the children. I run back inside and in the kitchen I find the mother dead on the floor stabbed in the heart. (looked like a suicide) . I run upstairs and there was even MORE smoke. I hear crying in the bathroom and open the door, I found a 3 year old little girl in a bathtub of water, I grab her, I hear another cry coming from a room, I open the door and find a teenager tied up to a chair with rope. I cut her loose, run downstairs with both of them, pass their dead mother and take them to safety. I run back into this burning house 1 last time to make sure everyone was out and safe. I get to the master bedroom and found the father stabbed to death and the knife plunged into his heart and is set on fire. I came to the conclusion that The wife killed her husband then she killed herself after hiding the babies and setting the house on fire. I ran outside grabbed the newborn and cried. I had all the children surrounding me, the fire department finally arrive and end the fire. The news reporters start showing up and ambulances come to help bring the children to the hospital.. I wake up