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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some house, looking through clothes my mom found in trash, then also some toys which are to be donated to a kindergarten, checking if they are complete and playing a bit with some of the games.
Then for no reason I see my teacher sitting at the end of this room, with it's back turned to me and I get lucid. I go towards him and surprise him by touching him softly in his back. He is wearing a light brown shirt and he looks to the side to see me. I move my hand down his arm and gently caress him. He shuts his eyes in total surrender. So I kiss him. I notice his lips a bit dry, but soon our salivas mix and our tongues intertwine, while I caress his shaved head. I enjoy every bit of it.
Then I realize there is someone else in the room. We stop and I turn to this person. It looks like my dad, he doesn't seem to recognize me. He turns away quickly and heads to a door. As he opens the door, he looks back one more time and his physiognomy changed. He is taller, slimmer, more tanned and dresses like an Indian man. I follow him but lose him in the movement of people outside. My attention also gets drawn by the majestic landscape and I don't follow the man anymore. In front of me are some amazing mountains covered in luscious green vegetation. And there are people going up and down the mountains, apparently carrying things, picking up fruits, going about many different activities. Strangely, the mountains seem extremely tall ,but people have the same apparent dimension whether they are at the top of it or down at its base. I see a huge strange black bird flying over my head. It is the size of a big eagle, it has a beak like a toucan and strange wings that make a half-moon shape with the first two feathers on each side slightly round and color red. I follow its flight and to my left I see what seem like clouds made of liquid water, which give the impression that everything beneath it, is underwater. There is a type of tree whose top touches the liquid cloud and behaves like kelp in the ocean. Then I turn my attention again to the mountains. I realize the contours of the mountains, the hills and valleys, the rocky surfaces, are all fractal shaped. I decide to take off and fly to see it up close. I am mesmerized by these patterns, and the psychedelic colors they have and then I almost wake up, but instead I have a FA in a totally white empty house. I remember I left my teacher back in the other house and I go around this house calling out his name, hoping to summon him back. Going through some corridor I spot someone that looks like him and other people going after, but when I get closer, it isn't him. But he is also a teacher to these people, who admire him and are respectfully walking him out as he leaves. I am starting to feel the LD fading away, so I decide to get out of here and do my own hing. I find a window and jump to outside. It's again a beautiful landscape with green hills, but this house is right on the slope. I have to climb some moss covered rocks to reach the top of the hill. Some lady who had made some comment to me inside, followed me out the window and insists on asking me something about mind training. Something like, if I feel that realization is a consequence of how much time you practice. If it is an inevitable consequence of your time dedication to practice, because she is feeling frustrated for not seeing results. I don't remember exact words I said, it was very short answer, but it was something in the line of "no, it's not just time related, more about quality and merit."
Then on the top of the hill I see a valley below, but really far below, like we are many kms of altitude up. I decide to jump and fly some more. I enjoy it for some time, once again absorbing the details of the majestic landscape. Until I start descending and land in some city below. I land in a town square between some classical buildings and there is a giant painting on the floor with a reproduction of some classical work of art. I dig my hands in the floor and have fun picking up elements from the painting and throwing them in the air to watch them slowly fall like confetti. Then I want the painting to become a giant trampoline and I have fun jumping and doing flips in the air.
When I am done with it, I walk down a street. The LD is weaker and I don't remember exactly what happened but I end up in a TV studio, where a famous morning show is being recorded and I am sitting with the live audience. The show hostess is demonstrating some modern appliances and its uses and we are offered some bread cooked by a bread machine. I taste it and it is completely bland and tasteless. I feel this is boring and once again I aim for a window to change scenario At some corridor outside the recording area, I see a window. I look through it and down below I see a moat or a lake. I am about to jump to it, when I notice it is full of big animals swimming. First they look like crocs, but on a closer look, I see they are mainly big fish, turtles and some mutant creatures, like fish but with tiny arms and hands. I decide to go get the tasteless bread and feed it to the animals. The bread wasn't a lot but seems to multiply as I split it into bits, so I keep feeding the animals for quite a while. Then I wake up. .

Back to Dreamviews after more than 2 years away! Wow

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In an Inception like dream, I dream that throughout several days and nights I dream sequential dreams with revelations that I later share with my mother. These dreams are very vivid and reveal information about my alien DNA.
In my first dream within the dream, I am attracted to a forest at night and find myself in a circle of people coming from all directions towards a strange eerie female figure surrounded by light. All the others freeze on the spot. I also feel paralyzed, but my feet lift off the ground and I levitate towards her. She says she has been looking for me. All the others also got the message and were attracted to the forest, but I am the one with the DNA she is looking for.
I want to know more, but she must depart immediately and says she will return to provide me with more information. I catch from her telepathically the word "Trvo" and then I wake up (in the dream).
I tell this dream to my mother and she believes it was a real experience.
Next night I have another dream. The female appears again, now at my home. She reveals I am the daughter of Trvo Årven. She doesn't want to say more, but again I collect images from her mind, telepathically. I see this man, he is tall and handsome, with pale skin and completely white hair. Kind of nordic elfic type. He is in a remote mountainous fortress, he guards something or someone very dangerous. I sense something wrong, I sense that he is alone and about to be attacked. I don't know much more. I don't know if this is the past or the future. But this woman confirms that I am in danger and that I must stay hidden until she can figure out what to do with me.
When I wake up (in the dream) I tell again to my mother. She is totally convinced I am in danger and someone will come for me. She says that we have to go, just grab a few things and leave. When I have the essentials and join her at our van to go away, she surprises me saying we must take with us a pet pig she is taking care of. I get the unexpected job to go grab the pig

I became lucid, can't really remember what had been happening. I was in a room laying on a bed, and it was morning. There were people in the room but I didn't want them knowing I was awake. Eventually they left, so I peaked out from under the blanket I was hiding under.
My father was in the dream (but a young version). I didn't want him there spoiling my dream, as I don't get on with him (he's a control freak) so I shoved him out of a top window. Unfortunately, only landed on the window sill, so I opened a bottom part I created and booted him off. He fell a satisfying distance down a cliff onto some rocks and that was last of him for that dream.
I then moved back to the bed and manifested some people there and had cuddles, it gave me a very warm satisfying feeling

Morning of October 23, 2018. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,936-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 69.



I am at the Concordia Ballroom in La Crosse. (My father often performed publicly here when I was very young.) There is a service counter at the east end of the hall (a fictitious orientation, as it was on the north end). My father is sitting behind it. (I do not recall that he had died in 1979). His father is standing to his right but appears as being much younger than my father. (I do not focus on the absurdity of the scenario.)

My grandfather is talking about the history of our family. During this time, I am trying to connect wires so that both speakers will play music. The one on the far left is working, but the far right one is not. I hear sound only in my left ear. I wrap the clusters of wire around each other. There are many that stick out from different areas of the plastic coating. My father looks on as I do this. I am wary of touching certain ones together, but in reality, it would not matter, as there is no electrical current. I spend several minutes doing this, starting over a few times.

I sincerely tell my father how much I enjoyed singing with him when I was a boy.

My grandfather speaks of a fictitious family history meant to be the truth. I remain puzzled about the details, but I do not say anything. Supposedly, my father’s mother’s name was Boyat (unfamiliar to me). She was famous and had an artificial knee. (In reality, the name was Ruland and appears in a book about Tecumseh.)

Eventually, the right speaker starts working. When this happens, I absentmindedly but dramatically run off to the far end of the hall. I enter a bedroom where Zsuzsanna is sleeping. I leap into the air and fly a short distance. I try to wake her, as it is supposedly late in the afternoon. (In reality, she is awake, and I am asleep in my dream.)

---

There have been numerous dreams of connecting wires. It seems to indicate a subliminal attempt to become lucid or connect with my current conscious self identity. I hear the sound in my left ear, which is dream state orientation, as I sleep on my left side with my right exposed to the real environment, so having the full connection would initiate conscious awareness within my dream.

In this dream, I become more subliminally aware of being in the dream state, but I do not achieve a viable liminal or lucid understanding that I am dreaming. Still, I automatically enter the usual vestibular system correlation stage by leaping and flying in dream state indicator space; the bedroom where Zsuzsanna is sleeping. Up until then, I had no recall of my current conscious self identity. I wake shortly after this. Before I am awake, I see patterns of an offset dream forming to my left, which mostly shows laundry, and I consider it is “correct” in being down to the left.

---

Earlier yesterday I took a nap. I became aware that I was dreaming but I wasn't really in control. The scene in front of my was flickering. It turned into this weird structure like the one from Interstellar with the bookcases but instead of bookcases it was the blue sky and the clouds. It looked like the same sort of image or block of space was going off in a bunch of different directions around me. I felt very high but the dream collapsed.

I haven't had a nightmare that freaked me out in a long time until this morning. The dream was back at my house from when I was a kid and my parents were still married. There were things that happened earlier in the dream, but I started to remember when I was inside what looked like our garage. My father was narrating the dream. He was telling me about something that had happened in my past, something dark. I was myself now but watching my child self playing in the garage. There were these white strings that had bounced on the ground and were attached to something away from my view. My dad was explaining that I had discovered something, or something evil had discovered me. As he explains it, the object attached to the strings comes into view as my child self picks it up. I don't know the significance of it but it's this bell that looks similar to the liberty bell with a crack in it and a piece missing but it's small enough to hold in my hands. My child self becomes extremely terrified. I can hear my dad's voice get bitter. I'm freaking out now. The story is that two spirits took me that day up into the sky for hundreds of years. One spirit is a dead woman dressed in a gown whose colors are negative. I couldn't see the other spirit, but something was telling me the spirit I couldn't see was much powerful than the woman spirit and was controlling the entire situation. They took me up into the sky where there was an old floating house. It was weird because I could vaguely remember that I had been there before. My dad was so distraught telling me they took me up there for hundreds of years but for them it only lasted a blink of a second. I was just finding all of this out now.

I woke up in a false awakening in my dad's old house. I ran to the door with my mom on the phone, I was asking her if it was real. She couldn't answer which told me it had been real. The door was locked and I was frantically trying to open it because I could feel the spirit behind me. I burst through and ran downstairs to see my dad in the kitchen. I walked over to him crying and wrapped my arms around him.

I woke up in another false awakening, this time in my current room. Because my closet door was open, it made a tall giant dark figure in the corner of my eye. I was in sleep paralysis. At first, the shadow wasn't doing anything, but then I thought it might move and it became evil. The thing just flew at my face and was hovering there. I was stuck in a flinch terrified. This lasted a few moments before the evil thing made a lunge at my face and I woke up this time for real.

Eventually, I went back to bed and had this dream that Donald Trump was about to do something entertaining yet destructive to the entire world, like a giant show that would lead to some sort of bad thing happening. I was with another person, I think maybe my mom, living this story of two agents who were going to stop Trump. I had been caught by a secret agent who brought me into a room. Trump ordered me to get beat up or something. The agent had taken off his belt and had hit me and was planning to kill me. Trump all of the sudden flew at the agent and knocked him out. Turns out Trump was my mom in disguise. We get out of that room and sort of ninja jump over a pond away from bad guys.

I'm now in this pool surrounded by buildings with a few of my friends from college including lauren and there were a few kids I didn't recognize. Someone whispers for me to flip over a floating device she's on but she gets off. Moo tells us there's not a lot of time left for us to stop Trump and the only way to get there is through this amusement park. He tells us to jump on this roller coaster on the second to back left seat because there is this really strange robot that sits in the seat with you or something. Moo Owen and I jump into the station and get into the carts before other people can. They just seem to let it happen and get back in line. Most of us are in the back cart. I look up and see Moo's on the other side of the train next to this cowgirl robot and I realize that's where we were supposed to get in. The ride starts and we hang on. It starts to go up a hill as I ask Owen when we should be getting off. Moo yells that we need to get off at the next slow part. The train takes a few turns and then starts going up another hill. We jump onto another rollercoaster track which is made of what looks and feels like brushes for shoes or maybe horses. I'm struggling to get a grip and finally start gaining some traction. Someone yells that we need to get ready to surf. The rollercoaster takes a dip downwards and we start standing up surfing on this rollercoaster down a hill. In front of us is this wide alley with buildings on both sides that contain rides and rollercoasters coming out of the buildings. The idea is that we need to jump from ride to ride in order to get through and stop Trump's plan. The dream collapses.

Morning of September 5, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,888-02/03 (two dreams). Optimized 2 min 15 sec read.



In the first part of my dream, I get out of bed to go into a different room. (My dreaming experience lacks the dynamics of a false awakening). I am aware of Zsuzsanna, but there are also a few unknown people sleeping in the immediate area, yet I do not perceive them as intruders.

My dream self perceives the unfamiliar setting as our present home. I look at a different bed in a well-lit room. Two Ragdoll cats are sleeping near its corner where the walls meet. One is ours; the other belongs to Zsuzsanna's sister. I think the cats are finally used to each other. The darker one gets up and moves to the opposite end of the bed.

I notice my youngest daughter on the floor. She is only about one year old. At first, I am concerned. I go to her, but she seems okay. I notice blue veins on her face, but she is cheerful. I ask the cats if she had fallen off the bed, anticipating a spoken answer, but there is no reply.

My dream fades, though I eventually enter another one. This time I am in the Cubitis house's living room. I do not recall that I had not lived there since 1978. It seems to be morning now.

I go to a fictitious entrance in the middle of the east living room wall. Farther to the east, from the doorway, I see that clouds are close to the ground, creating a virtual horizon at about where the railroad tracks would have been. I consider this incredibly strange. My youngest daughter is present again, though now about three years old. I tell her, "Look, the sky has fallen." I do not believe that the sky has "fallen." I only say this to pique her curiosity. She seems cheerful and wants to see. Still, I think something inexplicable is going on.

I am aware of my father being in the southwest bedroom. (I do not recall he had died when I was in my teens, long before I came to Australia to marry. I have no recall of my mother.) Suddenly, through the curtains, I see that the area where the clouds had been is blue sky. It is suddenly brighter, like a curtain rising from the false horizon. However, I am aware it means all the clouds in the region had suddenly come together to go higher in the sky to form a tornado. It will likely come straight toward our home.

Something unusual happens, as a thread of metacognitive awareness of recently working on a compilation of January 1970 dreams becomes the focus. It changes the outcome of this dream that otherwise anticipates a vestibular phasing response.

It causes my dream to model my experience from January 1970. Instead of a threat, the scenario resets to where I am looking at the "same" clouds near the ground. An angel with large white wings appears in the distance, hovering in the air in a standing position. She is wearing white and will probably give me a gift.

A dove flies into my hands, giving me the strong impression that the angel had transformed into it (somatosensory phasing). As I look down, as it settles into the palms of my hands while facing right, it is almost like a fuzzy pastel painting expressing peace and beauty as I slowly wake.

---

I found myself in my old house in father room where my mom and dad were talking. I get up and open the door and close it back once the thought occured that I must be dreaming. I turn around to look at my father as still everything felt real but I knew this was apart of the vivid dream. I open the front door in to the living and approach the back door, the door I use many times to leave the house to begin my lucid dream.

I could see the lock was already unlock which would be odd but this only confirmed to that I was in a dream. I open it and walk out to see that it was maybe night but it was really breath taking. When I look to the dark sky there was 3 suns in the sky in different angles that gave it this solar eclipse look. I walk outside on the grass and immediately saw two men in trench coats walking about to confront each other.

I decided to turn the other way in till my lucidity started to fade and for some reason I got the feeling it would return if I continue the original path I was on. I continue walking that direction in till I step in something that made me realize I was in quick sand. Out of no where not able to tell from their appearance as it was also shrouded in a cowboy hat and trench coat. Said hey Anfernee, I look up and said hello to the person on a horse that was able to float. Then I notice the building they were standing on.

Wasn't able to tell by their voice either if it was a man or a woman. The person ask me if I needed help. I said yes and soon they had this wrench that was quite long brought down to me. I had my hand out and I could tell this person was seriously trying to help me from the quick sand. It was interesting to me to see a dream character care so much about helping me. I was able to get out of it and thank the shrouded person. I then ask how did they know my name.

The person said I don't know this stuff is weird. Lol I understand the feeling. Another person with a cowboy hat appeared to me and I could now see the people faces. It look like I was in a western old style town. Everyone was dress in a old style way. I thought it was cool and I was told by this person to go to the customer serve to identify myself. I did so and notice people taking phone calls and filling out sheets.

I approach one woman talking on the phone but notice she was busy. I decided to walk around to find more available area's in till I false awaken.

While lying in my bed feeling tired I doze off for a few and find myself in walmart. My father and I are at the cash register and are going through the scanning part. As my father is about to complete his purchase he tells me to go get my stuff that I was going to purchase. I am confused because I do not recall ever going through the store to buy anything. I told my father where?

He points to where there is a pile of things that I would never have gotten. I am confused as I have no memory of getting those things and putting it there. I then question that I must be dreaming and realize not to long ago I was lying in my bed. Upon this I return to being awake.

Morning of April 19, 2018. Thursday.



In my dream, I find myself standing near the center of the southwest bedroom of the Loomis Street house, facing north (toward the kitchen). It seems to be morning. My father, appearing as he was in the 1960s, comes into the room. I seem to be in the process of moving a few things around. I am also facing “my” bed, which is oriented along the north wall, west (head) to east. His presence annoys me, so I rudely ask, “What do you want?” He does not become angry or visibly annoyed but walks off into another room. I eventually see that he is going down the hallway into the bathroom.

It turns out that he had wanted to know where a band-aid was, as his right upper lip was injured. However, when I see him walking around in the kitchen, I do not discern any blood. It seems my mother might know where a band-aid is (though I do not see her at any point), so I go back to “my” room. My dream fades without incident.

---

Rule: Beds and other obvious first-level dream state indicators occur in at least one dream per sleep cycle. I do not technically typify this as autosymbolism, as it is a literal subliminal awareness of being asleep.

Detail: I find myself standing on the right side of a single bed in a fictitious location at the beginning of my dream.

Rule: A dream’s setting, either lucid or non-lucid, cannot match a real setting. The obvious neurological reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life.

Detail: The main setting of this dream is the Loomis Street southwest bedroom (Wisconsin), where I have not lived since February 1994. The secondary setting, rendered in my dream as southeast of the main setting, is an erroneous link to the Cubitis house’s hallway and bathroom at the end of the hallway (Florida), where I have not lived since the summer of 1978. The final location is the kitchen of our present home (Australia) rather than the Loomis Street kitchen that would otherwise be immediately north and adjacent to the main setting. This is a new unique composite, continuing the rule of no two settings ever being the same in my dreams. My subconscious self does not notice this error at all.

Rule: A non-lucid dream cannot correctly model the current conscious self for a number of reasons. One reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life. Autosymbolism that represents liminal space (the dream state and precursory waking space itself) and more so, liminal space dividers (the metaphorical barrier between fictitious dream self and current conscious self identity), confirms this factor. Preconscious access to threads of the unconscious mind is not of the nature most people claim. My dream self (subconscious self) is without viable memory of either the unconscious or the conscious self, and additionally, has no viable discernment of time, space, or sustained coherency in language. Otherwise, synaptic gating would build false memories and false associations.

Detail: My (non-lucid) subconscious self (which is always unique in each dream, just as settings are) has no memory that my father died in 1979. It has no realization of the erroneous setting or its typical hodgepodge nature. There are no threads of my current conscious self status. My perceived age in my dream seems around thirty years younger than I am. Additionally, there was never a bed in the southwest Loomis Street bedroom.

Rule: The main event in a dream is the waking alert factor (WAF), autosymbolism based on RAS mediation (or modulation depending on the dream state depth), a biological factor of the dream state itself. This is for reestablishing conscious self identity in the waking transition. RAS mediation will utilize everything from a present association or conflict to features or events long since forgotten and irrelevant, and the dynamic‘s foundation is always literal despite being borrowed as waking alert factor autosymbolism.

Detail: My father in present dreams is typically an emergent consciousness factor that represents my conscious self identity. One, I have mild soreness in the upper right area of my mouth from the loss of a tooth (though with no bleeding). However, there is also a very old association utilized as the waking alert autosymbolism. Many years ago, when I was twelve years old, this was the only occasion when I felt annoyed by my father’s presence. He was grinning and looking through my open jalousie windows into my room. I walked over and was ready to pull the curtains down (without saying anything) when I realized there were two very large new illustrated dictionaries on my desk, which he had bought for me and placed in my room earlier that morning.

So how does this relate to RAS mediation borrowing the event? Books and reading are a conscious self factor, as only the conscious self in waking life is intelligent enough to sustain reading while understanding written language (as text in dreams typically changes when looking back at it and often becomes gibberish), thus this was a trigger to begin consciousness activation despite the association being from childhood.

Rule: Typically, there is at least one thread in a dream in each sleep cycle that originates in Zsuzsanna’s mind, but most often based on thoughts she had elsewhere, not when at home. (Do not ask me how this is possible, it just is.)

Detail: While out shopping, Zsuzsanna was thinking of buying band-aids yesterday, but she did not (and she did not tell me about it, either).

Rule: Waking autosymbolism usually initiates on my dream self’s right (when I sleep on my left side, which is less exposed to my real environment).

Detail: In this dream, my father approaches me on my right and later goes into the kitchen, which relays subliminal awareness of mild hunger. Additionally, my dream begins with me standing near the right side of the bed (the side I sleep on in reality), although this dream is certainly not a false awakening.

---

A dream scene ends of me and my father waiting in a room with a group of people. The new scene appears and it is me at a store, appears to be a clothing store. I look through a few in the section I am in. I notice a book that seems to be a part of the bible. I read some of it verse and brought it back to where I had originally pick it up. I then notice I was around a lot of baby clothes for children.

I look around the corner where I heard a group of people talking. When I saw them I notice one person that means something to me. It was my cousin. She appeared different, as if she had gain a lot more weight recently. When I observe further as I notice her picking up baby clothes, it became apparent that she is pregnant. I continue browsing in till my path cross with her.

I simply smiled and waved while walking away. I then decided to look for clothes that I could wear since I needed some new ones. That is when the dream scene change again in to my room. I had assume I was awake as it identical in every way, it was night with no lights on. But something was feeling off to me, I decided to ignore it. As I sat up from my bed something happened to me that I don't know how to explain. I felt like I lost control of my surroundings. I was standing up at the front door of my room.

That's when I heard screams , it felt piercing and loud. It was a girl voice screaming in pain. I started looking around my room asking what's going on. That's when I started pacing my room to see if there was a way I could find her. For some reason information was toss in to my head against my will, that told me this girl I am hearing is my daughter. Even though I do not have children.

There was such a desperate urge to help this person, that I started screaming when I kept hearing her. That's when I finally woke up, I was slightly breathing hard and clutch my covers. I was wondering why my dreams were a bit tense lately. Then some DC mentally answered my own question by saying some dreams are bad/ I ask mentally in my head is there a way where I can always have good dreams? He said unfortunately dreams are always good and bad depending on the individual.

I was going to ask why in till I became lucid on sensing something was wrong. A voice began mentally speaking to me saying , so you have now seen apart of my inner world. Now you see how scary it can be when you will now have to suffer and I will be coming back. Once I heard this I told her no don't bother me anymore. No do not do this. The dream scene change again to me waking up in my bed. It was another false awakening. I got up out of my bed as I was finish sleeping. As I stood up on the floor that's when the feeling hit me again.

I became lucid and was beginning to see another person in 3rd person and yet I could still see through my own self as if I was in 1st person. I notice someone running aimlessly in grey. Then I completely was back in 1st person with this intense fear around me. The shocking screams began again and I couldn't help but panic to try to find this girl that was in so much suffering. I kept looking around in my room and started saying this can't be happening to me. That's when my window turned in to a grey realm. I ran in there as I continue to follow the loud screams.

However the grey realm only led me back to my room to where I couldn't see anything. I began to scream as I hear the screams of the girl and my own echoing endlessly. It made my head go numb after hearing that after constantly screaming I open my front door and bang on my father door. His door was lock which is not normal for him as he usually leaves it unlock. I began yelling him to open up the door and that I was being attack by someone. I could hear his television set come on as the door opened.

I told him I needed his help and I was beginning to talk to him about what was going on. I wake up. This time I think I am really awake and the first thing I do is open my door to get to my father and to explain to him what is happening. I began knocking on his door again as it opened. His TV once again came on and he was not in a good mood. I told him something is wrong and that I was being attacked by some person. He doesn't care and tells me to leave me alone and ask me do you know how early it is.

I look at the time and see that it is 2:02 AM . I told him he still has plenty of time to rest. He gets angry and tells me he is done helping me. That's when I found myself waking in my bed again. No I said, I was already lucid and yelled why are you doing this to me? That's when something on my bed sprang around like a spider. A woman out of no where appeared sitting in front of me on my bed with red hair. A voice told me in unintelligible words that it was angry with me. I knew it was anger because of how intense the sensation was around me. I began saying I am sorry for what I have done.

It began showing me images and a vision that I would understand. I knew what the issue was now and said I was sorry. But it didn't matter I could tell nothing I was saying was getting through to her. Whatever this thing was. That's when I woke up again from my bed. I was already lucid and the same terrifying scenario happened again and again. I couldn't stop screaming and I remember falling to the floor which somehow made me continue falling endlessly further down. My head felt so much confusion that I didn't know what to do or think anymore.

I didn't know when I had waken up or if I was awake all this time. My eyes were just staring at the ceiling. It was like I had been in a trance. I place my hand on my head, my head felt empty as if nothing was in it. I sat up to check the time and could see it is 2:02 AM. I am sorry.

After awhile the dream scene changes to a street. This guy is having a fight with another man and eventually throws him to the ground and the man thrown to the ground is now laying there unconscious. The man who threw him and I begin to run in the dark as the street lights went out. He and I continue to run as I begin to take up speed while laughing about how the wind feels against me.

That's when it occur to me that I can run faster that what I could in waking life and this triggers my lucidity. I begin running faster in till I was running in while in mid air. I then fly off telling the guy goodbye. The dream scene changes to a house where it would appear other family members like my father, aunties and cousin were residing. I get up from bed and lose my lucidity. Then a weird fluffy small animal came to me from the backyard.

Morning of March 9 2018. Friday.



My father is alive and appears as he was in the 1960s. I do not remember that he died in 1979. I am also not at all aware of my current conscious self identity. My age may be implied to be about thirty. I ride around in a car with him in late morning. The driver’s side is on the left, implying America.

There are a few repeated scenes. We mostly visit apartment buildings where gangsters supposedly live. No one is around but us until the last scene.

My father punches a wall and creates the impression of dampness and marks like small squid tentacles instead of fingers.

At one point, I watch a waterbed wiggle. A large squid apparently lives inside the mattress and the movement of the mattress’s surface is caused by this otherwise unseen squid. I am briefly, though not viably aware that I am dreaming, and I consider if this scene is autosymbolism as relating, as a precursor, to hypnopompic kicks (as did my donkey inside a mattress dream from Christmas of 2016, which crosses my mind as such very vaguely and briefly).

In the last scene, my father and I are standing in a hallway where a curtain is drawn across one area. An unfamiliar male moves the curtains aside and says my father has a doctor’s appointment.

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Water usually represents, as autosymbolism, the essence of sleep, dream state induction (in fact, my most common form of induction since early childhood, occurring at least once every sleeping period), and the absence of emotion in unconsciousness. I suspect, curiously enough (from personal evidence), at least on one level, that a squid has something to do with augmented sexuality, however, as related to dream state reinduction (as a subliminal directive) rather than waking life. The problem with pretending that dreams are symbolically about waking life is in ignoring how the fictitious non-lucid dream self (personified subconscious, which lacks temporality and intelligence) is not the conscious self and that, even when non-lucid, I typically seek the understanding of the dream state rather than waking life, to develop clarity of mind. Plus, dreams are primarily autosymbolic in symbolizing the nature of biology, vestibular system ambiguity, transitions in unconsciousness, and consciousness reascension, so how could they viably relate to waking life in the way many people seem to believe (other than when additionally prescient or as literal carryovers)?

Other than being autosymbolic of the usual RAS mediation and the emergent consciousness factor (by way of preconscious personification), the last part of my dream regarding the doctor (looking into my dream self’s essence through the curtains, which is autosymbolism for the liminal space of the waking transition) is possibly literal and reflects my occasional focus on mortality, though hopefully not literally prescient yet. From experience, I know that my father now often represents my current conscious self identity even if it is otherwise not extant in the dream state. Still, I really had to go upon waking, and as a waterbed mattress is called a “bladder”, there may be a connection, though I had a dream about a squid on a mattress in 2015, and although there were pools of water on the bed, it was not a waterbed. Incidental associations are probably enough to trigger such a dream, though, especially in punching a wall (vaguely influenced by the 1980s movie “Altered States”), with a wall representing the autosymbolic barrier between fictitious dream self identity and conscious self identity.

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I had experience a false awakening and was sitting on the top of my bed. For some reason my entire room was like a park of some sort. I could see a skinny young man walking in a odd way. He seemed to be listening to music. But I notice in his right hand was a knife. He was approaching a woman who was on her phone not aware that he was planning to rob her.

I notice my father in my bathroom which confused me but I decided that wasn't important right now. I go to him and tell him what I am seeing and to ask him to help back me up in case anything goes wrong. We begin running towards the man as he has just grabbed her by the arm. My father pushes him off her as he brings the knife to our direction.

He begins to run at my father but I made an intimidating move towards him as if I was going to attack. I need to get the knife out of his hand before I can do anything. He then takes that as an insult and runs towards me with the knife. His reaction was so fast I couldn't even think. I luckily dodge the first jab from his knife. It was very intense almost being stabbed that I became lucid.

I told myself that this is quite the experience to help my combat. But I do not enjoy doing this so I ended the dream.

I am in a non lucid dream, playing basketball with people I do not know. We play for a good awhile and then something that resulted in a school assembly happen. I did not know what was happening but it seem like people were celebrating for the students. I drop the basketball and decided to get in line with the rest of them. One guy talk about his son and how he was almost involved in a murder but now has change his life around.

I didn't really understand anything around me, but I had this intense desire to continue playing basketball and this was ruining it. I eventually woke up out of it and could see only black. My eyes were closed and I decided I was a bit tired to get up so I let them stay that way. Before I knew it I was in a dream again when I opened my eyes. My front door was slightly opened, suggesting that someone must've been inside.

I could then hear my mother voice and realize that she is an my apartment talking with my father. This can't be happening, I knew I had to be dreaming and woke up soon after.

Morning of January 26, 2018. Friday.



I become aware of being in the living room of the Cubitis house. (No threads of my present conscious self identity are extant at this time.)

My father is alive and as he was in the 1960s. I have no recall of his death in 1979. He is standing near the north end of the living room. I am sitting closer to the kitchenette.

A television is on for a short time. It shows a group of teenagers yelling and going into a school building. “I never really liked school,” I tell my father, “I would have rather gone to a labor camp, chopping wood or laying bricks.” My father seems passive but expresses mild interest in what I am saying. Eventually, I decide that this is not entirely true, as I did not mind elementary school so much. (This is mainly a result of the typical failure of viable memories in the dream state. I did not really dislike school as much as my fictional dream self implies here. It seems to be a reference to when I actually did chop wood, use a fence pole digger, and help build a fence instead of going to middle school for a short time, when the “outdoor classroom” was first being designed and built in Florida.)

Eventually, I get the impression that I can influence the movement of the curtain on the east window, closest to the kitchenette. Although I am not lucid, I start to notice that the curtain responds directly to what I say aloud (similar to how a real-time scripted dream works, and yet, again, there is no lucidity at any point). My father goes to the southwest bedroom as I remain in the living room. After I am sure I am controlling the curtain, I call to him to show him what I can do, but I do not see him. The situation is interesting but somewhat eerie. “Up to the ceiling,” I say, and the curtain obeys, swaying and moving to become flat against the ceiling. “Twist around,” I say, and the curtain twists itself around. “To the right,” I say, and the curtain slowly moves toward the kitchenette. I do this about twenty times, with at least five different instructions, and they always work.

I become distracted by a noise in the backyard. Looking out, I notice a tidal wave, all along the eastern horizon, approaching from a distance. It seems to be nighttime, but I can see the whiteness of the high foamy wave.

“Tidal wave, there is a tidal wave coming,” I yell. I do not see my father come out, but I am trying to warn him. Soon, the tidal wave hits the house. I can feel the house shake. I see and feel water coming in through the east windows. It flows quickly throughout the living room and my bedroom, and yet there is no direct impact of water on my body, only some cool refreshing splashes. Still, I yell, seeing that several high stacks of paper with documented dreams, under my bed, are apparently soaked, and I slowly recall Zsuzsanna’s dream journals as well. There is wetness, but no indication of flooding over the floor at this point.

I yell in annoyance just as I hear Zsuzsanna and our children on the carport. I get the impression that they had just returned from shopping or the library. Zsuzsanna calls out to me, wondering what is going on. There is no indication that the tidal wave had affected their approach to the house, or that they had even seen it (which of course is ludicrous if one wants to force logic on dreams where none exists).

She and our children walk through the front door. “Everything is wet,” I say loudly. “Not everything?” Zsuzsanna asks hopefully. “Everything,” I confirm. I wake at this point, with Zsuzsanna standing near our bed in reality and our youngest daughter nearby. I am somewhat confused as to whether our oldest daughter is in the area since she had been in my dream, though I do not see her.

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This dream is partly a beautiful connection to a fully lucid childhood dream, “The Staged Bull” from 1971 (as well as several other dreams). Both dreams use curtains as the division between the dream self and the conscious self and the perceived danger of RAS (as the waking alert factor), familiar autosymbolism for the waking transition. In this dream, my subliminal focus on reinduction brings a tidal wave (also a circadian rhythms factor) rather than the usual passive connection to water rising at the beginning of most sleeps. (This is also an association with the indoor rain we had in real life after our roof was torn off, though in reality, our dream journals did not get wet.) The typical doorway waking symbolism is utilized by RAS here, with no recall that Zsuzsanna had never been to America, let alone Cubitis (and as I have written before, I believe this is to prevent dream memories from being mistaken as having real-life meaning other than when prescient). My father wanders off to a bedroom (dream state indicator) and my control of the curtains seems like an amazing breakthrough in adding one more thread of dream knowledge in validating the autosymbolic meaning they entail. (Both autosymbolism for liminal space division and an association with control of the dream state as an implied stage, which also has curtains, yet also has the association with stage of sleep.) In previous dreams, I had chosen to “freeze” tidal waves and nuclear explosions in order to sustain the dream state and make it last for ten to fifteen additional minutes.

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