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12.19.2012

Akashic Records and Deep State Meditation (Note)

Spoiler for Personal notes:

I'm getting better with meditation, but I still need to improve on staying up straight. I don't make it a priority, but I just want to make sure I'm positioned in a comfortable position.

I want to consider meditating while resting on the bed, but that's an challenge simple because the awareness and willpower has to be augmented.

This is why I prefer the Indian style pose, or half or quarter lotus pose while meditating.

I'm definitely positive why I want to understand the concept behind the Akashic Records, and use them as a progressive base for improvement, seeing probabilities that I can take to the best of my abilities, and seek nothing ambition in making sure these possibilities are things that will benefit me.

I also realized that I'm still attached to a few things before I can even meditate. I realized that I tried helping too many people who continue to take advantage of my help. It's about waking life, not on Dream Views.

People are so amazing, wanting help, but not understanding how to actually appreciate the methods in which they receive it. Took passive in their thoughts, one moment they're so happy of the advice you suggested to them, and the keyword being SUGGESTED, not forced.

There's no point giving "advice" if you shove it down people's throat. I admit that I did that a few times with a few people, but that's only because I cared about them, or at least thought I did.

The important thing here when learning about Akashic Records is that I need to eradicate what people think about it. I know it's not a literal place you go to, but rather a frequency you align yourself into. If people don't believe in that, by all means, don't believe in it.

It's all for a high level of awareness of what one can do in their life and the steps they can take to understanding the outcomes that are most likely to occur if they partake in a specific action.

It's your life if you don't want to experiment with something like this, I shouldn't be responsible for your fate, and I shouldn't be interested in your life or your fate. The only thing that I can be sure of is my own fate, and that this is merely an experience for growth of knowledge, love, and much more.

The more I constrain myself with people I thought I respected and saw as people to look up to, the less likely I'll meditate with confidence.

People are absolutely entitled to their own beliefs, and I should just accept that. Some people change, some people remain conservative and blinded and ignorant because they are afraid of trying something new.

People who don't take failure so seriously and make it something negative that should be avoided at all costs are, in my opinion, just too afraid for change.

Ultimately, it's the simple fact that we can't conceptualize or understand something as abstract as the Akashic Records, or anything that sounds absurd at first glance.

Sadly, the only thing that would make it enticing if it's apparent that the person they think is absurd for believing in such things actually makes huge benefits from it.

Money Money Money Money....god people are so bothered with it that it's sickening. I admit money is necessary to get the rudiments of life established, but when you go into this indulgence where money only matters, just what are you?

I just need to realize that people are going to say a lot of things are crazy, and the more I consider their thoughts without doing the ambition through my own eyes, or...behind my eyes and into my mind, the less likely I'll succeed.

I'm sick and tired of my generosity towards others that I'm making slow by gradual progress in dissociating that with tulapforging, another concept people love spewing horseshit about and making it bad.

If you don't take the time to understand why people believe a certain concept, don't assume so much that it makes you look silly and completely lazy to learn.

There are many things that are crazy, but it's only because the concept is not understood in a practical way where it can consistently benefit yourself or society as a whole.

12.19.2012

Itachi Uchiha and Youtube (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember is that I'm posting a video on YouTube involving Itachi Uchiha coughing up blood as he's using the last ounce of his power to summon this Susanoo.

It's not the dark orange color like in the anime, it has more red into it, and it looks quite scary as Itachi has blood dripping from his mouth and his eyes completely blank.

The day before this dream I was sick, with a temperature that rose to 99.7 from my normal temperature of 97, then dropped to 95. I couldn't sleep the night before or during the day. I finally was able to sleep at around 5 am, but only for an hour. I think the dream lasted the whole hour, but it felt like a year.

There was a murderer named Tom Tiddlediddle who ate peoples heads. The police couldn't find him but there were a lot of people who were found dead with no head, so he was still killing people the whole time.

There was also a nice alien named Hoopsha. He looked like a wrinkly old woman with white skin, but he had huge elephant ears and a pig nose. The texture and look of his skin reminded me of the Shpongle mask thing.

The whole dream was in the Egyptian desert. The Egyptians had religious ceremonies inside of stone temples, where they made tea with some cool blue flowers and meditated. At the front of the room was a clay statue with angels holding cannabis leaves.

Near the end of the dream, I was talking to Hoopsha. He moved closer and calmly told me to look at his wrinkled skin. He asked me if it looked familiar. I don't remember my answer. Then his calmness turned to an evil stare as he said "I'm Tom Tiddlediddle". His face morphed into a human's face. He slowly opened his mouth, knowing that I was paralyzed with fear. I woke up still feeling scared and confused.

So I meditated for the second night last night, once again loving the effects. I'm currently using a meditation guide which focuses on accepting the universal mind, which is perfect for me as I find it hard to accept and get very scared. However, I'm thinking of trying another one at some point to see what it's like. Anyway, I had my first visual hallucinations! I reached the point of feeling like I was floating that I always get, and got OOBE like vibrations, when suddenly it got even more intense and I could see these faint purple patterns in my eyes!! It was awesome, as I've never had these for some reason. Anyway, unfortunately that got ruined as, lets just say sexual energies propped up and it was too hard to concentrate. I'm going to try to work on that. Anyway, like the previous night, I had an intensely vivid dream. However once again, I forgot to write it down. This is what I remember.

1) I was in an area that looked like the woodland area I used to wait for my bus at secondary school. It was twilight, with a beautiful purple-blue sky. I was with other people who I can't remember unfortunately, and we were waiting for a bus. I was at the far left of the woodlands at one bit that I remember. Another bit was me remembering that I was running away from whoever I was waiting with, laughing. For some reason I remember holding some sort of cord. Was it the OOBE cord!?

Okay, so this morning I had my first DEILD-induced LD! It was at least 5 times more realistic than the DILD ones!

I don't have time to write about the night before now bout maybe I will edit it later as it's important.

black: Side-notes
red: Non-lucid dream
blue: Lucid dream

So, here's the dream:

I'm laying in my childhood room's bed. My eyes aren't open, I just know I'm there (in reality I'm in my real bed). This doesn't seem strange at the time. I feel strong vibrations in the lower half of my body (from my chest to my toes). First I think it's only because some phenomena during meditation can be very strong. But hey! I wasn't meditating for the last 30 minutes! Then I feel the vibrations in every part of my body. I conclude that this must be SP because there is a nearly painful weight-on-the-chest effect too. So I hold still and wait. After about 15 seconds I open my eyes. I stand up, make a reality check, and I am lucid dreaming! Yeah! I want to exercise my strength a little so I try to break in the walls of the house but I don't succeed. Then I go into the living room where I find my friend's sister. My friend suddenly jumps to my back and tries to cover my head with a pillow (a scene from one of my previous dreams that night) but I can evade it. I go out to the yard and I suddenly remember my current goal: Have sex with the girl in the orange swimsuit . So I constantly try to summon her with not much success. Then I walked down the street. When I passed a house, a voice came after me. I turned back and saw a girl standing next to a house and talking to me. I went there, and thought if I don't find the girl I wanted she will be just as good . We went in but then the girl transformed into some old woman in black clothes. She showed me the house which was a bit dirty. I tried to summon the girl I wanted again. I stood in front of a room with closed door and thought: She'll be inside when I open it. I tried it many many times but I could only summon a boy with six eyes, a 300 kg sumo fighter and a woman with a mustache . I think my lucidity started fading here because I did some not-so-normal things like turning knobs on a guitar amplifier to achieve my goal.... After that my vision went away and I woke up for real.

It was a very memorable experience and got me into LDing again after 2 weeks of laziness and it got me think hard on the "What is reality?" topic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at the edge of a balcony, slightly aware I'm dreaming and making considerations about lucid dreams. I am not afraid of the height because I know I can fly or hover and will not hit the floor if I fall. But that's not enough. I realize that I need not to be afraid of hitting the floor, because there is no floor. I make an effort to become fully lucid to do an experiment. I let my body lean forward and just let go of all fears and all doubts. My body goes through the dream balcony and I free fall. I only feel the uncomfortable sensation in the stomach, of falling in the void, for about 2 seconds and then its gone. I see the ground closer and closer but I also go through it and then I'm free falling in the darkness. I don't make any effort to stop it, I let go completely.
After a while, the falling sensation stops by itself and I find myself being laid out gently on a grassy patch under a tree at nightime. I feel peace and I feel like meditating. I decide to get up and do a walking meditation. I try to visualize a Buddha against the night sky. I can't. Instead I see a white light that starts from a point and expands into the shape of an angel like figure. From it I hear a "hello". The light shines brighter and I hear again "Hello, [my name]!". I recognize the voice of my guru. I don't just recognize his voice, I feel him! Hard to explain the entirety of what happens in these few moments. I feel overwhelmed. I wake up.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes


Got it? Great! Now enjoy reading my dreams.



Dream #1 Woman with no hands.

Im in a house with some kids, there is a woman who looked french. She spoke french, and a man shows up and says he loves her even though she has no hands. I tell the man that he can always Imagine her with hands or something like that.



Dream #2 Liquid of Immortality.

Im walking down a sidewalk, its sunny out and i stop in front of a crowded temple. There are a bunch of different people standing outside talking with one another. One guy was saying how it is this drink that is said to give you powers, and it is called liquid of immortality. One guy mentions that it has liquor in it though. I tell the guys i don't drink anymore.

Another guy says..

"But dude, you got powers and immortality! What more could you ask for?"

"Hmm...i dont know about that."

Another guy tells me that we can go get something close to that that cost thirty five dollars. I look at the men then shake my head and walk away.



Final dream. Meditating.

Im walking in this temple with a bunch of different shaolin monks. There is a huge Buddha statue in this one room i am in. I decide to sit in the middle of the floor and start meditating. Thats all i remembered and woke up.



Did'nt do much subconscious training or reality checks yesterday. Soo guess i should have seen this one coming. Well its ok, will go hard tonight and get back on board!

First

I'm at a meeting of a company. They're talking about hiring lawyers. I'm not concentrating very well, I'm mostly paying attention to the static in the visual field. This is a meditation I might actually do in a really boring meeting.

Second

I'm a lawyer, in court defending someone against the company. The company people give a rating to all the lawyers in the room that they haven't hired yet. I get a C, which apparently is not bad at all. Then they say, in the middle of the session, that they wish to hire me.

Yay ! Lucid!
I was running away from something, or for something, I don't remember which. I was in a parking lot I can not remember from real life, but suddenly I stopped and realized;
Hey. I thought it felt a bit like.. air. Why am I doing this? This is ..a. dream. I shouldn't have to run.
I got the satisfactory feeling of realizing this just like that, but started feeling my body in bed. I resisted, trying float back into the dream, and luckily managed.
I then set running after what had been chasing me, and I generally remember having fun before I lost my lucidity again. No big deal, I'll make it stay longer next time

Um okay, I'll just note here that I had been focusing on living in the present, and I had been drawing a lot, the day before. Drawing sometimes work a little bit like meditation. So I think that daily focus is key. Notice your surroundings.

"You can't live on a breath in the future, nor from the past. You have to breathe now." I just love that quote. A man on TV said it yesterday. (Yesterday was a really great day, and this is starting to look like a blog post. I better shut my trap. Have fun )

Meditation to Prime my Mind in order to Lucid Dream....

I used Between Worlds hemi-sync CD.
I sit in the same chair with my feet on the floor. I like to be touching the 'earth' or ground as I meditate.
Hands, palms up, thumbs touching middle finger in order to keep my body connected.

I begin as usual by focusing on the blackness behind my eyes [side note: Recently read CosmicIron's SILD method and it is very similar to the way I meditate.]. I watch the flashing colors as I go into a light trance. I also focus on the music. As I go into a light trance, I lose sense of my body as it becomes very heavy - just like you do before you fall asleep. If I go too far under, my body snaps awake. So, I have to try and hold this in between state of consciousness - not too far that I fall asleep but not too awake that I can't focus.

Today, I got into a light trance surprisingly fast. I didn't expect to go under until a certain point in the music.

The most memorable part - two parts actually - were when my centers just started pulsing. For some reason, I was elated. I thought I'd shut them down. I haven't done this in so long - I thought I'd completely cut myself off. So, to feel them pulse again, it's ... I'm thankful. As my centers pulsed I got this burst from my heart center and then this all over rush. It was like ... :hmm: when you get excited or surprised and you get an adrenalin rush, maybe? It was not orgasmic. It didn't start at my root/base chakra. It came from my heart center and enveloped me. I know for so many this just sounds like rubbish...because I was there once too.

The other memorable part was as this buzzing/adrenalin rush continued to buzz all over my body I felt both my forehead/brow chakra and the crown chakra all beat/pulse. It was not harsh but this consistent beating that just kept an overall buzz in my body - almost like when your limb falls asleep but then finally wakes up and you get this tingling? That's the sensation that occurred throughout my body. As this happened, I imagined/saw my golden form shooting from my crown and upwards, hands together like in prayer, towards the sky. She fought to get out but got stuck at her waist. She struggled but was not released.

What does that mean? How the heck do I know. It may mean nothing. I may mean that I am not fully opened and so she can only be freed when I am able to sustain this energy - which I can and could not. Or it may mean my tummy was really hungry and I needed some food!!

Meditation: Previous Experience from the years 2006-2009
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I don't know how I became interested in remote viewing, but when I did, I so enjoyed it. It began as a challenge and as a way to expand my own experience/knowledge. I was part of a group that did controlled experiments, so to speak. Just like this group here, so it was nothing formal.

Once I figured out ways to remote view, and trust me, my ways are mine, they do not work for everyone and many will say, that's not how you do it. So be it. I only know what I know.

This session was more of a curiosity tour. After my 'tour' on a UFO in a very lucid dream, many years after, I just couldn't resist spying. I can not recall if this was my 'first' or last time viewing them, I only know it was one of the times I viewed them. What they are - I don't know. Figments of a collective imagination? Alien life forms? Astral forms? Or none of the above...

When I RV'd, I would go in my golden form, looking like a wisp of golden silk. I would fly from my solar plexus area and to my target. I only did this after I had meditated and calmed my mind. Then, I would focus on my target, leave as golden, and see what I could find.

On this expedition, I came to what looked like a red desert. There was an opening to the cave and I went inside. I settled to the ground and began walking of floating. As I moved, I dragged my hand along the wall to my right. It felt sandy and rough, perhaps like sandstone. The cave walls were cool and the inside was very dark. But I kept following the wall.

When the wall ended, or perhaps I got bored and fast traveled, I came upon a room of sorts. It was dimly lit. There were what I can only call beds or gurneys in this room. And several "Grays" were lying around. They did not look like the typical bright-eyed, light skinned beings we see depicted on the cover of novels. These Grays were ashen and frail. Their mouths were mere slits but they had teeth I believe. They appeared in agony. There was so much pain and sadness.

At some point, I was discovered. I don't understand how. I just recall knowing someone other than these frail creatures became aware of me and sent me on my way with one heck of a headache. And yet, I continued to view them. In a way, I felt like I had turned the tables on them. And at points, they did not like it.

(2009) Old Meditation


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When I was meditating a lot - every day, for at least an hour a day, I had some very surreal experiences. One memorable session occurred while I meditated without music. I had progressed to the place where I could go to a black void and just hear and think nothing. I was able to hold that for quite awhile - THEN - now, not so much.

While in this void, which is very peaceful, by the way, a figure floated toward me. I simply observed it at first because sometimes the brain does send us images, but when you get to a point that you can quiet your mind, you can discern your thoughts. This was not my thought.

The silver man looked like a solid, human form of quick silver. He was quite stunning. I don't know why I knew he was male at that point - I think I noticed his chest was male and lacked breasts - sooo that certainly would give him away.

At some point, I saw myself floating in this void, and I was my golden image. I was floating, like in a pool, on my back. He floated above me, his face looking into my face. His eyes were the same color as his body, as were his lips and every other part of him. He was not translucent like me. He was solid and you could not see 'through' him. He had no male anatomy that I could discern. As he floated above me, I got the sense he was going to do 'something' to me. I became a bit nervous but not enough to leave the meditation. I think I was far too curious, as this was one of my first encounters. I was not able to control him. And I know that sounds weird, but it was similar to a lucid dream, after what I've read in here (as I've not had many lucid dreams) when you can't control your DC. He did his own thing.

He spoke to me but I don't recall now what he said exactly. His voice was deep and definitely male. He also was talking to 'others' and I could not hear them. I never did see these other people(??). But he continued to float above me - sort of in a missionary position, but yet, he never touched me, during this session. He was sort of a sexual being, but I got the sense that he was there for me, but I didn't know what that meant at the time. I was attracted to him. He had a very domineering personality. It was not mean, it was just matter-of-fact and you're going to do this. He faded away, and I came out of my meditation. It would not be the last time I encountered the Silver Man. (kind of reminds me of the Silver Surfer - which was not out then and I never read comics) He visited me a few more times and the visitations became more intense.

April 12, 2012

Day 3
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Meditated with "Between Worlds" CD hemi-sync. Survived w/o any "distractions". I noticed that I kept feeling like I was moving when I don't think I really was. I seemed to go into a light trance very quickly and float in and out of a deep trance because when in the deep trance I tended to nearly fall asleep. So, as soon as I went under, I snapped awake and was out of the deep trance.

Still my mind chimed in with all kinds of comments and advice: "Don't think about the bum gif...", (which means I thought about the bum gif)..., "Okay, don't focus on the base chakra but move onward." (which means I focused on the base chakra BUT I did move on and got my abdomen chakra to thud as well as the solar plexus and heart - didn't go further). I did a bit of energy work as when one wants to experience OBE it's helpful to prime your energy body for OBEs. Basically, I'm just preparing for whatever comes or doesn't.

Nothing special in meditation other than feeling heavy, getting some reaction to my energy work, and trying to focus on the blackness behind my eyes. (Energy work: envisioned white pool of energy beneath my feet, then I draw up the energy from the pool through my feet and eventually circulate the energy. It makes my feet and body warm and buzzy...no not that kind of buzzy.)

Tonight, I will write in my journal an affirmation and leave the real life DJ on my beside table. Sooner or later, I will recall a dream and I want to be READY!

Meditation Day 2: April 11, 2012

I hunted for my other CD that is also hemi-sync but not "Between Worlds". I could not find it! Poo! So, I decided to try and block out any unintentional or unwanted distractions. This round I noticed a few things - I seemed to nearly fall asleep a few times, and I was startled awake during the session. I hadn't gone completely under, but was on the edge, like you feel right before you sink into unconsiousness.

I kept my focus on the blackness behind my eyes. I use it like a screen or chalkboard when I want to visualize something, but in the beginning meditations, I use it as a focal point. When thoughts came, and they did come, I would blow them away or acknowledge them and realign my focus.

I felt very relaxed today - maybe because I didn't get enough sleep the night before or because I was going deeper into meditation. I don't know yet. My body got very heavy. I know at various points my fingers, the middle and thumb, felt like they were no longer touching and had actually moved into different positions. When I pressed them together, they had not moved and were still touching one another as the back of my hands rested upon my thighs.

No particular images arrived to distract me....until the Didgeridoo sounds began. I swear to God this thing must be some sort of vibrator because it's tones send a vibration straight down my throat to my groin area.

I just acknowledged these sensations but realigned to the blackness behind my eyes. However, the Didgeridoo vibrations increased and so did the sensations in my core. And like a little girl on Christmas morning, I ran straight to the present under the tree! I found myself reflexively breathing very deeply - deep enough so it inflated my whole midsection. And I became aware that as the Didgeridoo played and held its note, I held my breath. As I held my breath, the vibration seemed to have a better path/connection to my sexual center (chakra above the base). This vibration just grew and then the sexual images arrived - And it was all over until the Didgeridoo stopped playing and another instrument took over. Ahem. Naughty self...

I'm a bit disappointed, but I knew it was like playing with fire. I knew my mind would be just itching to repeat that sensation. So, it's my own fault. Not a bad punishment - I'll take it. But it's not my goal to climax every time I meditate.

After my fun time ended and the music shifted, I found myself lost in darkness again with random thoughts coming and going - mostly berating myself. "Told ya you should have gotten the other CD" "Why didn't you just meditate without any music?" "You wanted this to happen, so why are you surprised?" "Better find that other CD." On and on the comments came like some scolding friend or parent, chiding me for my misguided choice of CD. I heard them and refocused each time saying, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. I know you're right.

*Black screen.*

The rest of the meditation was good. Got very sleepy. Felt a little disconnected from my body at times. I get the jumpy sensation or that falling sensation when I lose myself. But it was a good start...

*Note to self: FIND THE OTHER CD STAT!

Apr 10, 2012

My meditations have always been vivid, and when I start the process of dream recall I amp up, or in my case now, start my meditation schedule. When I meditate, especially in the beginning, I use metamusic/hemi-sync/embedded binural beats with headphones to assist my focus. It's just my method and won't work for everyone. I find it blocks out my bodily noises that are especially distracting at first - heartbeat, breathing, gurgling stomach...as well as blocking out external noises: clocks ticking, cars, airplanes.

So, in this particular meditation I used the 'Between Worlds' metamusic CD, which at one point has a very heavy beat that reminds me of a tribal setting. I had no intent other than meditating and focusing my mind on the music. But scenes of nondescript tribal people in a circle around me came to mind, and I couldn't shake it. So, I went with it. Everything was blurry though. It was almost like I was in a drug induced state within this 'visualization'.

The tribe acted in chorus with the music. They chanted and played the instruments I heard - one of which is a didgeridoo. Google it and listen to the heavy sound vibration and you'll see what I mean. You can also google Hemisync and binural beats to get an idea of what I use.

Then, my focus shifted, and I felt a pulsing in the first/second chakra. It's not a helpful way to focus your attention because it ends up being a complete distraction, which it ended up being but in a good way, I guess. Anyways, the first chakra is in the lower pelvic region and the second one is your sexual center, I suppose. It's they are the two most primal and basic of the charkas, IMHO. [Feel free to correct that if someone knows otherwise.]

As the first/second chakras pulse, my attention gets drawn specifically to that region and my pelvic region begins pulsing with the music. Well, the music had a very heavy beat that began slow and sped up. The visualization - or my imagination - which is one and the same in the beginning - happily went with that.

In the center of the tribal circle lay this man - I never saw his face just his legs and I knew he was naked, but I did not see any naughty parts . Again, the whole scene was blurred. I felt, more than saw, myself moving toward this man and I did a sort of 'hands in the air and move like you don't care' type of dance to the beat. I fell to my knees and straddled him and began moving to the beat in my visualization. As the One thing lead to another and...I'll leave it there as I don't know the appropriateness of this post. [so apologies ahead of time]

Now, what always gets me with meditation is wondering why my brain pulls me to one direction or another as I don't recall thinking about sex before I started. While some might say this is a GREAT meditation, do it again - it becomes a complete and utter distraction from the main goal, which is to focus and clear your mind. Well, if you're focusing on sex and climaxing, that's not going to clear your mind. Next time, [today] I will use a different CD because I think it will become an issue and my mind will immediately go to the tribal scene like a little girl on Christmas who can't wait to open her presents and runs directly to the Christmas tree...

Dang body - you're a treacherous sneak!

During a short nap, I’m doing a meditation practice I’ve been experimenting with. I open my eyes and I’m in a large room that reminds me of a yoga class. Someone is explaining the practice as we go.