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The first dream happened the morning of the 25th.


The dream memory was pretty jumbled when I woke up, so I am reconstructing based on memory, voice recording, and a bit of creativity.

Earthquake / Movie Series
I was trying to ride a bike, but it wasn't working correctly. A device I was looking at told me to visit two locations in town due to recent "embarrassments" that happened. My brother went with me to check out one of the stores. I recall seeing some items such as old gameboy advance SPs, UFO stuffs, etc. Thinking back, it reminded me of a souvenir shop.
Next thing I recall I was in a shed behind the house I currently live at, when suddenly the ground started shaking fairly violently. I walked outside and the earthquake got serious. I could see the ground moving and I had to crouch to the ground and try to hold on to something. I then saw what looked to be a tree in front of the house topple over completely. I heard it crack and snap, and saw the top of the tree disappear out of sight. The earthquake stopped, and I went to go investigate. My family stayed back in the shed for some reason. Turns out the majority of the tree was still intact, but a large branch had snapped right off and was lying in front of the tree. Suddenly it started pouring outside. I had the feeling my family was just about to leave the house to go visit my niece and nephew. I went inside the house for some reason, and on my way up the stairs I noticed it was raining indoors! Like a minecraft glitch or something the rain was just straight and consistently falling from the roof, yet there was no visible holes showing the outdoors. I noticed how odd it was, then I saw the window was open, so I shut it, even though it didn't fix it. I went to my room and it had a layer of water on the bottom. It was also raining in this room as well. I started lamenting my computer as it had to be toast now due to the water exposure. I grabbed whatever it was I went into the house for.
I then explored the house further for more damage and found myself in what seemed to be an attic. Again, it had a layer of water on the floor, so it was flooded. I noticed 3 distinct holes that were just spewing water. One spot looked like a drainage pipe that just came loose, so I pushed it together and it was fixed. The other two were a hole in the floor and one on the wall. I then noticed what I figured was either a hot water heater or otherwise a pipe of some sort. I turned off the water flow and let it drain a bit I opened the hatch to get inside and walked on in. I patched any further holes I saw inside these pipes, but on my way out a family member must have noticed the door open because the door suddenly shut and the water valve was turned back on. I then drowned due to the rising water level inside...
Suddenly the perspective changed and I was watching the character that died, and he looked just like Jim Carrey did in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(Which I just watched the night before. Good movie, recommend).
I get a glimpse of the character's funeral which included the typical black dresses, weeping, etc. The family was mortified. I then saw the outside of the home again. I'm just observing whats going on, and I see a few white statues gathered around the yard. I thought about how I could have shared with the family what I was doing before trying to fix the leakage. I then blamed myself for causing my family so much grief. Even though the character, or me, or whatever was dead, I was still walking around like a ghost or something. Feeling guilty, I left a message for the dream wife explaining what happened and apologizing for being an idiot. The white mages I saw before approached me, and called themselves dead poets. They invited me to join their group, under the condition that I abandon my old life and never contact them again seeing that I'm dead. They did recommend staying for the burial. They told me I would not be seen due to the SEP. (Somebody else's problem, an effect from HHGG that causes people to ignore the supernatural as if it wasn't there simply because they couldn't possibly be bothered to see it.) I replied that I kinda sortof made a scene my leaving a voice message on the wife's phone. They laughed it off and said that couldn't possibly have any effect. She wouldn't hear it, or it wouldn't have any ramifications, etc. They were wrong. My dream wife saw me immediately at the wake and chewed me out for "faking my death" and "Being an asshole" and "betraying the family..." RIP. She accused me of having an affair, that I didn't love her, etc. what a mess.


The next dream happened the morning of April 26th, after my sleep cycle ended. I recalled no other dreams, so I set my alarm to snooze. Still no dreams. Back to sleep, and that's where this dream comes in. Tragically, I immediately lost many of the dream's details once I woke up, and even with grabbing the voice recorder right away, I could not recover many details I wanted to.


TOTY / Lucid
The dream was very hazy. I found myself floating which is a normal dream sign for me. I commented that I must indeed be dreaming, since this only happens in my dreams. I instantly became lucid, but I really wanted to stabilize the dream. I wanted to make it more vivid, make sure it doesn't end soon, and to increase my control in the dream. I did the nose plug RC and I could breathe well. I noted how unusual this was, since usually when doing this RC I have to struggle to breathe through the plugged nose, but this dream it worked as if there was no blockage at all. I did indeed stabilize the dream to where it felt vivid, but I couldn't fully engage my senses. I was there, but it was not as good as it could be. I started on my list of tasks I would like to accomplish. Step 1, teleport to dream house. One goal is to make my childhood home the center of my dreams. I want most dreams to start there, and I want it to be a hub to visit various persistent dream realms and projects. Anyway, I don't remember how I got to the dream house, but I recall seeing a table and thinking with expectation that I would spawn in a fantasia hat. This hat would allow me to make inanimate objects come to life and do what I wanted them to. The hat did not appear at first, so I then tried putting my hand in front of me and covering my sight of the table where I wanted it to spawn. I then said it would be there when I lowered my hand, and it indeed was there! The hat felt very fake though. The color was more purple than blue, and it was smaller than expected, so it didn't fit my head. It just sat on top. I made a small object come to life. It floated, it glowed, it made sounds, but it didn't do any chores. I then tried it on a vaccum cleaner and a broom. While it did work, I noticed each object earned a small black attachment that signified it was being controlled by the hat's magic.


I then went exploring in the house, and found it was a mixture of 3 homes I have previously lived in. My logic was clearly not as it should have been at this point because I exclaimed several times how accurate things looked while at the same time fumbling throughout the place like I didn't know where I was going and the layout didn't make sense. I was sortof trying to recreate my dream house as I was walking around and it didn't quite work. I recall going upstairs looking for my old bedroom and I found 3 bedrooms that shouldn't normally be there. I was exploring my old bedroom and noticed it had purple paint on the walls and it was nothing like the appearance of any bedrooms I have had before. I did notice my old comforter on the bed though, so that's interesting. I did actually see the hallway and my older brother's bedroom upstairs as I remember them. The bedroom had a blue carpet and was empty. I called for my dream guide but she didn't show. I tried summoning her around a corner with no success; I called her name, and random children and pets showed up. I actually called out the name Melania at first before catching myself that her name should be Sarah. I ended up going back downstairs and I saw my two brothers eating a pasta meal, and I was going to sit down with them but the only open seat was covered in pasta..

I am place under hand cuffs by my manager at Dominoe's , he and other co-workers guided me to this location where a lot of people were playing basketball and surprise me with it. Then let the hand cuffs off me and my manager told me I was on team sprite, the soda drink. I went out there and as I am running I remember I was suppose to tell my manager that I am quitting today. I bump in to him but he seems to be completely indulge in to the game.

He points to a direction that he wants me to go and so I dash there and manage to get to the ball. The basketball feels a lot heavier than a regular one should feel. That's when I observed it closely and notice it is actually a bowling ball. I began trying to roll up mu sleeves to gain a better grip but was having trouble doing so. I could swear the shirt I am wearing is alive as it would roll itself down immediately. I then had a false awakening.

I appear to wake up lying in my bed. My laptop was in front of me and had been running the game league of legends. It was in searching queue but as I continue to observe it I notice something was wrong. However it didn't matter if I observe or not I was lucid the second I awoke from the fall awakening. I just started thinking to myself, should I lay here and play league of legends or should I go outside and observe my inner world.

I decided to observe my inner world as I knew it was something that needed to be done. I want to find peace, I walk out my room and in to the living room. It was a reddish color and dark rather than a yellow lighting. I then approach the front door which was now a huge wide white metal door. I open it and walk down the apartment complex stairs. I could feel my feet touching the water from the rain outside.

I made it completely down and notice that the sky was heavily gray and the rain was pouring down profusely. I tried walking in it but the rain was hitting me so much that I had trouble walking through it. I then remember a lucid dream back in 2014 where i raise my hand and made all the rain stop in mid air. That was my favorite moment in all my lucid dreams. So I decided to try it again and raise my hand. I began to focus and all of sudden as I thought it was working as the rain began to slow down with in a few seconds.

But I was wrong, instead the rain became intensively violent. I could hear the sky making a roaring sound that hurt my ears. I knew what I was doing was making things worse so I stop focusing. The sky and rain began to go back to the normal rapid pace it was at in the beginning. I walk through it as best I could in till I saw rough waves flowing my direction from a mountain. It hurled me to the floor as I regain my footing. I look around and realize there was a mini tsunami coming down another mountain so I decided to move out the way. A few other large waves came knocking me down.

So I decided to climb up a few rocks to gain some form of shelter. I notice there was no one around at all. The outside had nothing but a clear road with some broken down houses and just a lot of flooding and rain. My hear began to beat loud and could now hear my waking life body breathing. I knew I would be awake soon. I close my eyes and performed a DEILD. As I was starting out a false awakening and could see my dream bed. I blink my eyes too many times and woke up.

I saw a video with a Falcon 9 and the Saturn V. My precalculus instructor wasn't happy about seeing a Falcon 9. In the same scene, a sudden downpour hit when I was crawling under power lines. I made it to a small tree. After the 30-second downpour was over, the power lines were instantly restored, and the downstairs part of my old house gained a hardwood floor.

Morning of February 19, 2018. Monday.



In the first part of my dream, I notice a square hole in the floor in front of our couch, near the middle, about a third of the size of the couch. I consider that our youngest daughter might fall through if she is not paying attention, although the concern does not dominate my thoughts, as I also consider she would likely be aware of it for the most part. It seems to be late afternoon. The couch is in the wrong orientation. It is perpendicular to its real location, as it is on the west side of the lounge room facing east (where it has never been in reality) instead of being at the south edge of the lounge room facing north.

Later, Zsuzsanna and I are in a fictional room that is oriented where our oldest son’s room would be in reality, though is implied to be a mostly featureless lounge room, though there are bookshelves present. Zsuzsanna remains on my left. I focus on what looks like water dripping from a small area of the ceiling. I somehow see through the ceiling and see a large hole in the roof (as if I had x-ray vision, a fairly common dream state trait), oriented to my right. I tell Zsuzsanna of this, remembering that a new roof had just been built onto our house (in reality) and this new one has already partly “dissolved”. I also notice a smaller hole in the roof near the far corner of the room. I strongly focus on the idea of rain and water coming down, and (without viable lucidity) see water pouring through the small narrow irregular hole in the ceiling.

After this, I expect more water to come in near where the cat is sleeping in the far corner. A smaller amount of water than in the first instance comes through the ceiling near the corner and splashes the cat, but it does not seem that annoyed and remains in its position. I have a vague concern about books getting wet, but no more water comes through and I slowly wake. (The supposed rainwater event is more like someone quickly pouring water from a bucket from the two areas above the ceiling rather than a leak caused by rain or an even amount of water over time as it does not even seem to be raining when I look through the ceiling with x-ray vision, and then through the hole in the roof each time, as the sky is blue and cloudless.)

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My dream self’s first focus is on the hole in the floor. This represents neural OR gating relating to a subliminal focus on Zsuzsanna’s unconsciousness, as it is in the same location in front of the couch where Zsuzsanna sits in reality. However, when Zsuzsanna later appears in my dream, she remains on my left when subliminal autosymbolism of our real sleeping position is present.

Vestibular System Personification is incidentally rendered as our youngest daughter in this case. There is no modulating RAS factor or personification thereof and my dream self’s concern is illusory and ambiguous as in many past dreams of this nature.

The holes in the roof represent neural OR gating of my conscious self identity (which has featured in many past dreams as such), to my dream self’s right as I am sleeping on my left side, my right side more exposed to my real environment. The larger hole, closest to my dream self, opens to my consciousness precursor, the other, Zsuzsanna’s. Neural OR gating means that my conscious self is manipulating my dream, with my personified subconscious (dream self) being only subliminally aware of the implications (that is, without full recall of the dream state, as the subconscious level lacks viable intelligence and temporality). To clarify, my conscious self is subliminally aware of being in the dream state, though my dream self is not (and does not even recall what a dream is), though my dream’s autosymbolism is still based on a value of “one” (OR gate). This is why there is a hole in the roof and why my dream self can see it through the ceiling (liminal space divider, that is, a neural pattern between dream self and conscious self).

The cat is a precursory emergent consciousness factor (as a common liminal space denizen). My dream self is aware of its autosymbolism, which links a thread to my conscious self identity of which tries to reinduce and sustain the dream state by willing it to rain. (Even though in real life, rain coming into our home after the roof was torn off was obviously a negative event.)

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Morning of February 16, 2018. Friday.



In my dream, the most vivid scenario of the waking transition involves my dream self (personified subconscious) being on a bus with my wife Zsuzsanna and our youngest children. I remain in a passive and thankful mood. The location is unknown. It does not seem familiar, though the bus driver is on the left side, so it seems to be implied to be in America (though I have not lived there since 1994 and Zsuzsanna has never been there).

The bus driver is an unknown chubby female of whom reminds me of my crossing guard from when I lived at 901 Rose Street (near the intersection in a second floor apartment of a building which is no longer there).

It seems to be late morning, though the perceived time seems to change a few times (of which is very common in my dreams, as my subconscious self has no viable sense of time or continuity). There is an intersection up ahead. I am aware that it had been raining. An interesting mood develops. I realize that rain makes human life possible and that without it, the world would have no life. I have a vague awareness that the bus driver had telepathically caused me to realize this.

There had been a flood in one part of the street (from the rain), but the water has lowered. As we near the intersection, I have the typical focus on whether or not the bus driver is competent (this being a long-term carryover from waking life thought since childhood, though this thought does not dominate or seem problematic and I ultimately trust the driver to get us home safely).

The bus stops, but we are apparently not at our destination yet (though my dream self has no focus on where I presently live as is often the case). The bus is on the right side of the street, its back close to the perpendicular street it just turned from. The bus driver says, “I have to find something”. I am standing in the front stairwell of the bus watching her. She puts her hands down into the murky water near the curb. Soon, she pulls out a small tennis racket that is slightly muddy (though with very light-colored tan sand). I am uncertain if this is what she had been looking for, but she gives it to my youngest son. My dream fades from here.

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Zsuzsanna, in real life, had been looking at, and thinking about, small tennis rackets made for dolls while at a Kmart store on the previous day (Our Generation dolls and accessories). There is no explicable way I could have known this or for it to influence the main event in my final dream of the sleeping period. Not only this, she said her thought processes were “stronger” than usual during this event. Additionally, after my dream, she told me of how she had won a tennis racket at age twelve by reaching into water and pulling out a toy duck (relating to a matching number for the prize at a Brisbane show). This is not unusual in my experience, as at least one dream per sleeping period is based on something Zsuzsanna had thought about (or said to someone else) of which I could not have possibly known about. This was validated to have been going on, continuously, long before we met, and additionally, Zsuzsanna is the “mystery girl” who had been in my dreams since childhood (and of whom I even saw in my dreams as an adult while she was still very young).

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The scenario of this dream, a bus approaching an intersection and stopping or bumping into a curb before turning right (sometimes in the event of water lowering waking symbolism as here), has recurred since early childhood, though always with different dynamics. This is based on neural gating. It signifies whether or not the dream state will terminate or continue. (However, there are also inexplicable dynamics of which I will describe below.) As here, the bus turns right and my dream soon ends after the RAS to emergent consciousness factor, additionally validated by the water lowering waking symbolism, which occurs in at least one dream during every sleeping period (water symbolizing sleep in autosymbolism, its dynamics relevant to the specific aspect of REM).

RAS as the personified preconscious is a bus driver here. The biological function of RAS (Reticular Activating System) is for sleep-wake transitions (though again, there are inexplicable dynamics). This is why a dream is primarily autosymbolic of the dream state and waking transition itself, which is why “interpretation” as most commonly propagated is not a real concept despite the Barnum effect.

There is evidence that the side the bus driver is on in a dream correlates with what side I am sleeping on, especially as buses and cars often symbolize (or are an autosymbolic extension of) the human body. (This is also true for boats, airplanes, and trains when vestibular system ambiguity is more extant in REM. In fact, there has even been a dream where a bus I was on rolled over after I rolled over to sleep on my opposite side. However, the content of a dream must be looked at closely, as autosymbolism is based on the specific level of unconsciousness and varies from state to state through the waking transition.)

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I know that RAS mediation and modulation as a dream’s final event, when it utilizes personification as the preconscious as here, is often transpersonal (inherently unrelated to both the dream self and the conscious self by its very nature and purpose, as its purpose is to ignite enough emotion to trigger waking, including by way of dominance or perceived conflict, real or not, though some of this “conflict” is caused by muscle tension in unconsciousness as well as vestibular system ambiguity or subliminal concern over unknown environmental noise). This tells me that RAS is not simply the biological factor of the neural gating of the dream state in REM, but transpersonal neural gating that also occurs when I am conscious. However, the dynamics are puzzling. Sometimes these events have happened in real time (during my nap while Zsuzsanna was elsewhere and “sending” in real time) and sometimes based on recent thoughts that Zsuzsanna had held in her mind but which later integrates into my dream.

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Morning of December 4, 2017. Monday.



I am in bed in our present home, though as usual, the appearance is different. Our bed is oriented as it was prior to the devastating storm that tore our roof off.

Over time, I become aware that rain has possibly been coming through the ceiling (as it had in real life before the tarpaulins were placed over our house). (Note that it was raining in reality at the time of my dream, which I had become aware of through partial awakenings.)

I notice that the ceiling has unusual downward bulges, especially in one area where it almost resembles the shape of a complex vase. The ceiling is not of narrow boards (of their original wood appearance) as it is in reality, but is lower and constructed of white ceiling tiles. I get up and tell Zsuzsanna to leave the area near our bed, as the ceiling might collapse.

Between the dining room (which we use as our bedroom) and kitchen, a part of the wall (which does not exist in reality) and ceiling falls. It is more like an unusual curtain rod with some sort of odd elongated plumb-bob-like features hanging from across it. (This probably relates to an association with vertical evenness.) An identical feature on the other side also partly comes down. While looking towards our bed area, I also see a number of thin boards sticking randomly out from the left edge of the wall at various angles, which was apparently part of the inside of the wall.

I am then in the room of our two youngest sons. Eventually, one of our daughters, a fictional character however, as in my dream there is a false memory of having at least five daughters around nine years old, comes in and talks to Zsuzsanna (with the girl standing near the south wall of the room and facing Zsuzsanna). She is Hispanic with darker skin. She seems worried. When I look at her, I notice something on her neck, the front lower area. I first worry that ceiling debris had gotten into her neck, possibly going through her neck from behind. Puzzling over this, I also worry for a short time that it is an actual bone slightly protruding from above her skin. Eventually, I decide that it is just a large droplet of water below her neck and I gaze directly at it for a few minutes, noticing a slight quivering effect. (This is liminal dream control in trying to reinduce my dream with water induction, especially as it appears on the neck of the precursory form of the personified preconscious, though it also relates to transferred associations with Zsuzsanna’s throat and the soothing of it, as she had been coughing in real life prior to my dream.) No longer worried about her status, I go back into our kitchen. Still, looking back, I notice that the preconscious form (as our fictional daughter) is looking up, blinking quickly, and moving her eyes side to side (symbolizing the REM factor of the waking transition). I ignore the RAS manifestation (which also foreshadows my hypnopompic illusion that comes after this dream ends) and as a result, my dream lasts a minute or two longer.

While standing near the center of our kitchen again, I notice that the walls below the windows have large jagged holes directly leading to our backyard (representing the emergent consciousness factor with subliminal realization of being unconscious yet still being able to look deeper into my mind), the perimeter of these holes made up of splinters of wood. However, this area of our kitchen is rendered incorrectly. It is more like the inside of the residential turret of the northeast room I used to sleep in (on the second floor) in the King Street mansion or the first-floor bay window area on the south end (dining room) of the Loomis Street house. I consider that there is too much damage for our house to remain livable; as I also consider someone could easily crawl through a hole into our house if entering our backyard through our gate.

After a short time, I see that bed sheets are now covering the holes and that they might also be smaller than I first thought. As I am thinking about this, I wake, realizing I am focused on the curtain that divides our bed from the kitchen area and listening to the rain and that I had been partly creating my otherwise non-lucid dream with vague threads of my conscious self’s will.

As I am not fully awake, I am then looking up at our real ceiling. I see a hypnopompic illusion of large raindrops hanging everywhere across our ceiling. I blink my eyes a few times, but the illusion remains for a minute or two. (There is actually nothing present to create the illusion of water droplets. It is just an atypically sustained hypnopompic illusion with concern about when it did have water droplets present, though never as dense as in my illusion.)

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Morning of November 4, 2017. Saturday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 3

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Over time, I become aware of a very unlikely situation (which has no discernible backstory), although my dream self does not consider it unusual. I am resting outside in an unknown location on the side of a hill that is about the height of a one-storey house (when not elevated on stumps or with a higher roof as our house has). It also seems to be part of a house on one level. I have a blanket over me. I am aware of a number of unknown people also sleeping on the hill or “building” and within the sparse framework. It seems to be nighttime.

It begins to rain lightly and this hill or odd pyramidal building (note that the roof of our house in real life is pyramidal) seems to take on unusual properties as if it was made out of miscellaneous junk and tarpaulins as well as at least fifty percent dirt. I feel a bit uneasy, but not uncomfortable. It begins to collapse due to stormy weather, the metal part of the tarpaulins noisily clattering on other parts of the framework, which seems somewhat oppressive after a time, but I do not respond with emotion or fear. I cover myself fully with my blanket, including my head. The hill or building is eventually flattened though no one is hurt. No one talks directly to me. I look up at the sky and notice very unusual clouds passing overhead. They have very unusual shapes and atypical colors, some vaguely similar to jigsaw puzzle pieces. I enjoy seeing them but I do not know if it is suitable to sleep here now.

I get up and walk through a doorway to find a better place to sleep indoors. I am vaguely aware that the room is modeled after the Loomis Street house’s living room, though it is more like a cave. To my left, in an armchair recliner, is a large Minotaur. In front of me is a couch with the back oriented to the right of my viewpoint. The furniture layout is the same as it was in the Loomis Street house living room. There are other features that I do not directly focus on. I consider sleeping on the couch.

“You’re not sleeping there,” says the Minotaur somewhat frustratingly, as he notices me looking at the couch, though indicating no anger or threatening posture. It almost seems as if he is afraid of me or at least does not want anyone else intruding on his relaxing environment. Eventually, I decide to turn around and find myself in my own bed in reality upon waking up.

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Friday, 30 March 2018: What I presently understand about this dream, based on the following real-life event: A few days after this dream, on November 7, a totally unexpected devastating storm (with very atypical clouds prior to it - unusual shapes and of odd colors), tore the roof from our house and carried it down the street, where it landed in front of another house.

My family and I had to endure over a month of large tarpaulins slamming against what was left of the front part of our roof. (The noise was almost ear-splitting and my family had to leave the house at times, though there were days when it was not as noisy.) This devastating storm was so unexpected, there were still a few people working on the street near our house only minutes before. Members of my family had been out to see a movie, and had taken the bus. If the timing had been different by only one minute (when they had come in the house), there would have been more serious consequences.

What is usually RAS personification (for preconscious RAS mediation or modulation) is the Minotaur in this case, and an association with my brother-in-law Bob. It seems pertinent however, that bulls were only otherwise a recurring RAS modulation factor (bulls crashing through the wall for example, as a WAF - waking alert factor) in very early childhood, which should have told me there was something in this dream’s autosymbolism that was very atypical and of which was a warning. The fact remains however, even if I had fully known of this event beforehand, there was little that could have been done. Additionally, another literal factor that came to pass was members of my family sleeping under a destroyed roof covered by large tarpaulins. Zsuzsanna and I slept on the floor in the front room for a time, until the destroyed beds and roof were replaced. This is part 3 of what will be at least 500 parts, as prescience is a major factor of my dreaming history other than autosymbolism and auto-scripting. These main factors of dreams are usually completely ignored by most of modern society.

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Morning of October 17, 2017. Tuesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we appear now are living in the Cubitis house. There is a gentle rain. I am aware that our oldest son will be returning from his job (same job as in real life despite the erroneous 1978 setting of Florida rather than here in Australia). I contemplate if one of us should go and get him so that he will not get wet walking back in the rain. Zsuzsanna says that she will when the time comes.

I am in the living room with Zsuzsanna. I look out the windows into the Cubitis backyard (it seems to be late morning but still raining) and notice a row of tall purple larkspurs that are close to the windows, under the awnings, and parallel to the entire east side of the house. They are not yet in full bloom. I think about asking Zsuzsanna when she planted them (perhaps very early on the previous morning), as I do not recall when she could have done this, which puzzles me slightly as I consider how wonderfully industrious and sedulous she is.

In an area near the center of the large backyard are a few weeds where there is otherwise mostly short grass, but I also see about three or four potato plants in a couple random spots. It is raining, so I will pull out the weeds later. There is a vivid sense of love and peace.

Zsuzsanna tells me that our oldest son will probably be off work about an hour early, as people do not usually shop there when it is raining. (This turned out to be prescient curiously enough, and it has not happened in this way before. I fail to see why people would stay home from shopping just because it is raining, but I guess I forgot that some people are “depressed” by rainy weather, whereas I am not.)

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I have been a devoted dream journalist all my life (and I even married my literal dream girl) and yet have never held any interest or belief in “interpretation”, mainly because my dreams, other than literally prescient threads, naturally decode themselves prior to fully waking, revealing their origins and manner of synthesis, but also because my dreams have held the same basic components and patterns, especially variations of waking symbolism and the same RAS triggers (such as emergent alertness to real environmental noise) since early childhood.

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Look closely at the threads that are accurate and those that have no basis for accuracy.

My personified subconscious (dream self) is aware that I am happily married to Zsuzsanna, yet we are living in a house in America (Florida), where Zsuzsanna (and our children) have never been and I have not been since 1978 when I was only seventeen. (Zsuzsanna and our children have always lived in Australia.) This is not even the house in Wisconsin I was living in years before Zsuzsanna and I first began writing to each other.

My dream self is aware that it is raining in real life at our present location (and in fact, this dream began within seconds of falling asleep again) and (again, as in the above paragraph) I am in a different house in my dream, also aware that it is raining, yet without the awareness of where I am in time and space (and how interesting is that?).

I am aware that our oldest son has a job and even the exact location of where he works, and yet again, there is no conflict between the impossible contrast of living in Cubitis (an isolated rural area through which only a small highway intersected) and in an urban area in a different country. (My dream self usually does not find the implication of either bilocation or mixed-up composites, which are very common in my dreams, as unusual in any way.)

I am aware that there are weeds in our backyard in real life (it has been raining continuously for a few days), yet (again) this is rendered into the backyard of an incorrect setting.

Despite the otherwise fictional nature of this scenario, there are a few real-life factors, and even a typical thread of prescience (which I have always experienced on a day-to-day basis, yet do not always go into detail about as my entries are often already very long).

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Me as a kid watching tv in messy house with parents and brothers and sisters, we have to stop to tidy up the place and I sneek of to tidy up stuff that is in a giant bird's nest (arts and crafts at school).

Trying to get somewhere on stonestairwell but can't as too big a gap, i'm clinging on feeling nauseas from fear of falling.

I bump into Art teacher ive know since a kid then go outside where people are sunbathing. I use my powers to make food appear for someone then to make it pour rain idk why

Morning of August 20, 2017. Sunday.



In my dream, there is an unfamiliar library I go to, which takes the place of where the King Cinema had been in real life. I am also living at the King Street mansion (boarding house) not as I was years ago in reality, but with my family as we appear now.

My dream starts with me leaving the apartment. I walk westerly down King Street. The library is only a few blocks away. I am carrying, in a backpack, a computer keyboard, a flat monitor, and two small unknown devices (each about the size of an iPhone but thicker and one with a curved bottom) related to computer technology which apparently store data and may be additionally used for other purposes.

In the library, I delete a list of URLs, one at a time, from one device for the purpose of clearing memory. I sit at a small table near the left end of one row of shelves. I do not question why the computer keyboard and monitor are all I have (with the two other small devices) to apparently do some work on my computer.

Water begins to drip from various areas of the library’s ceiling. I become annoyed, because one of the devices I am looking at goes blank and the screen is apparently ruined by water. An unfamiliar young female librarian assures me that it will work normally again when it dries. She pushes against me a bit from behind and I am slightly annoyed by this, as it makes it more difficult to type freely.

It starts to rain more and more inside the library. I tell them that buildings in Australia sure leak a lot, adding how where my family lives now has leaks, a few near the foot of our bed. I compare them to the houses I lived in in America. This is very flawed dream-self memory as usual, as the setting is implied to be in America. Somehow, even though I perceive that I “still” live in America on King Street, I am also seemingly aware of where we live now (in referring to the leaks in our present home). There is no way to consciously resolve this distortion, as, when I leave the library near the end of my dream, I am walking easterly back towards the King Street mansion (in America) in the rain, yet with the feeling I am in Australia. There is no aspect of bilocation of the two buildings, so it is just some sort of oddly skewed parallel thinking that only the dream self can maintain.

I decide to move to another location and sit down on the floor in an informal meditation position. It is closer to one corner near the main entrance. There is a male to my right who reminds me of classmate Bill W. All three of my devices with screens eventually become ruined. Bill talks to me a bit about some sort of research. Several other people are around, a few even reading books in the indoor rain.

I rub the surface of one of the devices. The screen is more like transparent glass by this point. Inside the device, which seems somewhat hollow, I see pieces of leaves and a few small stones and sand that I consider somehow got inside over the past few minutes. I am annoyed that I will apparently have to buy new computer devices.

I realize that, even though I am wearing a long-sleeved sweater (which goes down a bit below my waist), I do not have any pants on. I also have no shoes and am only wearing dark socks. The fact I do not have shoes annoys me more than not having any pants on, since I do not like the idea of walking on a cold wet granular sidewalk with only socks on. I ask Bill if I had come into the library with shoes on, though he seems not to know, and I am uncertain if I did.

Eventually, I leave the library to go home. I am firstly walking, then I start running in an exaggerated manner. My “running” becomes stranger, similar to the movement of The Spirit in the 2008 movie when he runs on the telephone wires. (We saw this movie just prior to my dream.) It feels like I am kicking sand out from the back of my feet as I am oddly moving along. Eventually, I reach the King Street boarding house, and there are some more dream elements, though which become abstract.

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Raining indoors is a sort of forced symbolism based on the dream state itself, biologically related to a process that occurs during sleep (which I have described more fully in other entries). The library represents potential for conscious self awareness (and critical thinking skills), but the circadian rhythms factor holds my dream in the deeper phase. Being undressed in public, which is a subliminal dream-state indicator (as I do not wear clothes when sleeping) has rarely bothered me. (In fact, I am more embarrassed in some dreams when wearing clothes, as in real life, I do not like to be seen as wearing clothes in bed.) It is no coincidence that I am often undressed in public in a library, as these are two common dream-state indicators (dream signs) for me, especially as in sensual lucid dreams, when I deliberately initiate this situation. (This is additionally validated by the library being where the movie theater was in real life, a movie theater otherwise symbolizing subliminal acknowledgement of the dream state.) The association with “The Spirit” movie, where he runs on telephone wires, even though I am on the sidewalk in my dream, is based on increasing neural energy and communication between different layers of consciousness during the waking transition.

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Key:
Side Notes (Can be in Parenthesis)
Title
Dream
Lucid

Mental

I was in a mental hospital, my Mother was there. I walked away from her and the lady who was typing what meds I take.
I was walking back thinking what that other med was...A lady walked by me and says "Ranitidine"
I get by the computer and I am about to say it but the computer person did it already.
I don't trust this place, I feel like they kill the patients.
They take all the patients somewhere and one woman told me "You can go on the computer."

Firelane

It was raining, a girl with black hair was walking on the Firelane at school, no one in sight.

Crime and Punishment

There was a road block, passed by the school football field it had it's big lights on covering the field.
It was around 10:30 PM. I was now at the school in the lobby (the lobby looks like the middle school's lobby).
I told the cop two people here are criminals, I point at Kasie but can't find the other one.
Everyone gets mad and the cops says "You're in big trouble, that's a felon."
Another Part of the Dream:
A football player told someone "Our games usually end at 10 PM"

Accidental Murder

I was at a Walking Dead BB Gun tourney. There was a woman sitting on a chair, sweating, she was Mexican.
(The room I was in looked like something from Splash from Black Ops 3 Multiplayer)
I shot her in the face with my BB, which you're supposed to do, but I noticed she was bleeding and blood was coming
out of her mouth.
Later at home, I realized I just killed someone for the first time.

Season 7 and 8

I watched the Walking Dead S7 E1-E4 to catch up for Season 8, One Episode 4 there was a big chocolate factory.
I thought 'I gotta invest in a Chocolate Factory' it would be good for a Zombie Apocalypse. Someone also spoiled
who dies in the season and I scrolled up fast, I don't like getting spoiled.
I looked up Season 8 on Youtube and saw a Video Titled "The Walking Dead Season 8 Comic Con Trailer"
The thumbnail showed Negan with lots of shaving cream or something on his face.
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I had a good amount of Dreams today, I'm on a Streak! I like writing/typing down my dreams, to be honest I don't like dreams like these but at least I got more content for the Story I'm making. People are already setting off their Fireworks, hopefully it won't be like that during the night when people are trying to sleep.
July 3rd, 2017

Morning of February 25, 2017. Saturday.



Much of my dream’s foundation involves walking around with Zsuzsanna at night in an unknown city, though of which is possibly implied to be Brisbane.

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Eventually, I find myself going into an unknown large office which has a number of cubicles. It seems to be on the second floor. Several unfamiliar people are present. There is a computer workstation on most desks. I feel as if I should do something (though there is no backstory regarding this situation) and I decide to make it rain indoors simply by willing it. (This is liminal dream control, that is, control of the dream state without lucidity, the cause of which is based on the virtuous circle effect developed out of understanding dream state autosymbolism, which began in very early childhood.) I vividly create clouds that come in and hover near the ceiling, raining down on the office. It vivifies my dream and makes me feel more aware as well as very cheerful. It also augments my sense of touch and the very pleasant tangibility of the water itself. (This is based on the knowledge of water reinduction, as the essence of water is autosymbolism for sleep and the absence of waking life emotion.)

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At the time of this writing, I am nowhere near having substantial content from my lifelong dream journal online. There are only 462 entries on my main sites that describe dreams based on water induction autosymbolism. Water reinduction is an additional factor that developed out of liminal dream control and of which reflects the liminal desire to remain sleeping. In this case, it is based on the liminal awareness of being in a thread of emergent consciousness correlation, that is, the presence of computer workstations, which represent RAS mediation for thinking skills activation (due to the subconscious self not possessing thinking skills, so this is used by RAS as a precursor to activate consciousness). My choice to make it rain, in addition to being liminal dream control, reflects my desire to remain asleep in bed (which is a carryover association developed out of remaining in bed for a time when it is raining in real life).

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The vivid scene of walking in a city at night, often with awareness of someone being with me to my left (dream awareness orientation, as I sleep on my left side, though Zsuzsanna also sleeps to my left), has occurred during virtually every normal sleep cycle for over fifty years. Although this is usually based on vestibular system correlation as a precursor to a waking start as a hypnopompic kick, it occurs more vividly when I had done more walking that day in real life. (This proves that dream state dynamics are often based on residual physicality and biology. This is important to recognize and understand in a world where most of humanity has zero understanding of dreams. It is a significant advantage to have this clarity of mind.) In this case however, it serves as a form of dream state induction that is not interrupted as such.

Despite this dream being based on liminal dream control, the “raining indoors” thread was a major factor in our lives on November 2017, when it rained heavily indoors after a completely unexpected storm tore our roof off.

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Last reviewed on Friday, 18 May 2018.

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Morning of February 21, 2017. Tuesday.



Although many of my dreams begin with water induction (which includes water sometimes flowing from a wall or ceiling), I do not bother to include that detail unless atypical or unusual, or in this case, sustained, with no main dream body or waking prompt that I can recall and already in the dream state indicator phase (being in bed).

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I am in a very relaxed state. Zsuzsanna is sleeping with me to my left. I focus on the wall to my right. It is of a light teal color. I notice that there are “fringes” at three different heights on the wall. I reason that these “fringes” (similar to an association with a hippie fringe jacket) might indicate that the paint is peeling off in an unusual uniform manner. (Still, the bedroom we are in has only a bed.

I eventually confirm that water is slowly flowing out from each height of the fringe feature (each of which is horizontal along the entire length of the wall), but not enough to cause actual flooding, only minimal depth on the floor of only about an inch. I try to focus and consider if this is presently because of rain or perhaps some of the pipes leaking. It does not bother me at all; I remain only slightly curious (probably because water induction and reinduction triggers some degree of liminal dream state awareness).

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A wall is autosymbolism for the division of liminal space, that is, the barrier between the incomplete dream self (the very limited subconscious self, typically rendered in a fictitious scenario and without viable memory from either the unconscious or conscious self) and the conscious self identity. This is a correlation with RAS mediation that otherwise renders a door or doorway as an exit point out of the dream state. I liminally am in control in this case, and I am using water to reinduce and sustain my dream (validated by the waking autosymbolism being to my right). Interestingly though, this dream became literally prescient, when an unexpected storm tore our roof of in November of 2017 and paint actually did peel in an unusual way as here, proof that liminal dream control can correlate with literally prescient threads, which is very unusual to say the least. (In other cases, I mentally paint a wall to initiate dream state reinduction to “freshen” and sustain the dream state. Additionally, although the room was mostly featureless otherwise, it had an atypical feeling of being in our real home. At any rate, this dream is a composite of water reinduction and wall reinduction.)

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I had thought (for no particular reason) about an unusual model kit I built as a child just prior to this. It was a show car with fringes around the bottom and bullhorns on the front; the AMT “Hero” Lincoln Continental kit. (I had many model kits when growing up.)

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Last reviewed on Friday, 18 May 2018.

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It was a slightly grim afternoon. I was outside my house, just in front of my exit gate. It was raining a bit. I turned back, facing entrance to my house. Suddenly a huge knight in black armor appeared and challenged me for a duel. We started fighting. Just like the knight, I was able to block or parry each of incoming attacks. I was fighting bare handed while the black knight used a battle axe. When I finally managed to land a hit, the knight escaped and came back with someone helping him. It was a human in rags, he blown a dust off his hand and made a purple mist form almost everywhere. I escaped from it as I knew that it was poisonous. After a few more blocks the mist dispersed and I was able to counter one of his attacks. I made a surprise upper cut punch that sent him flying back and fall, bouncing on the ground twice.

This dream was what I recalled this morning following the intention: My intention for tonight is first and foremost to wake up and remember my dreams. Secondly I feel like I am approaching a cross-roads and I feel uncertain about where to place my efforts, so I would be thrilled with some assistance from my dreams in this respect. But foremost I trust my dreams and want to remember whatever they bring. It feels as if it is relevant somehow and I will use it as an opportunity to practise both descriptive evocative writing as well as Jungian interpretation methods.

I am pondering the idea of going to Mexico, which appears much as you perceive a fantasy or mnemonic ideation in the waking state – the incipient sense of an image, a map perhaps, appearing before my inner eye.

I direct my attention outwards and find myself in the passenger seat in Steen's silver-grey car, although I am inside the car I can clearly see the matte nuance of the silver grey colour on the outside of the car. My dad is in the back seat, and he seems gleeful and excited though he doesn't say or do much during the dream. We are going on a trip, and my dad and Steen are there helping me out, as it is mainly me going on a mission.

It is pouring down outside, it is clouded and grey, which produce a darkish hue. We are at a ticket office, which resembles a mixture between a gas station and a junk food drive in. There are two protruding window tills on our right hand side and above an almost square section of roofing is covering the pavement next to the windows, providing some cover for the rain outside.

We drive slowly towards the first of the two window tills – one for ordering another for picking up the tickets – and as we do I feel something bump into the car towards the back, which also produce a mild audible thump. I look out the window and backwards to see if Steen has accidentally hit one of the massive concrete columns extending from the building. He is really close but I can't see any damage done to the car.

I lean back in and Steen switches on the radio and the GPS system. The audio-scape is flooded with remnants of old mobile conversations, radio clatter and noise. I feel uneasy and a bit confused, as it is supposed to be a GPS system, providing guidance. Steen remains rather calm and composed and simply asks the GPS if it is there, and it dawns on me that it is a voice activated system.

“I am here” a clear loud and direct female voice responds, which is a tremendous reassurance.

Steen proceeds to drive forward and I wonder why I don't have to open the window to get the ticket. “It isn't necessary when you have one of these” he says and points to a rectangular electronic device, with an old school digital display in the bottom right corner of the front window, just in front of me as it would seem. It is essentially a device that registers that he has been here and automatically charges him for the ferry ride, which is what the ticket office is for.

“So we are going to Iceland” he says, and I feel at first excited, but then a bit concerned because we will be sailing and we are supposed to go to either Mexico or the Faeroe Islands as well today and I am afraid we won't have time. I think about this only briefly before relinquishing the thought at aspiration to do all of these things.

We look at a map and a black marker line appears that takes us from the ticket office “to Odden” which on the map is a full scale island, elongated and egg shaped except for a very pointed en on the right hand side. The black line takes us to the top and centre of the island, where the port town is based, from where we will board the ferry to Iceland.

End of dream.

In this interpretation I will start by breaking down the dream into its constituent motifs, and run free associations on them.

There is a preceding map, an idea of a journey – which implies a plan and a set destination it also represents an overview of a trip, which can symbolise knowledge of where I am going in life. This is particularly salient as I am taken somewhere else than what I had “mapped out”, which excites me although the expectation of having to go somewhere specific within a given time frame becomes a source of frustration and tension/restlessness.

The car is a solid and large station car, it is silver grey – the colour symbolising the silver grey snake-like pathway through space I frequently perceive in meditation, cannabis and psychedelic states also symbolising the spiritual cord often reported as seen in OBEs.

The car is a symbol of my body, it is in good shape and the fact that my dad has been relegated to the back seat can be an expression of our recent confrontations and my insights on how he has dominated the development of my low self-esteem though his parenting style. He is now put in the back seat, representing that I still carry him with me and care for his approval and love, yet this aspect is no longer the driving motivating psychic energy for my aspirations for life – such as “save the world and become super famous”, which is simply a conditioned tendency I have developed as I felt under appreciated and unseen as a child.

Steen is an old friend of the family, both my mum and dad – I associate to him that he recently helped me out with cheaply renting his summer house to me following an Ayahuasca journey where I wanted to stop smoking and I didn't feel for returning to my parents' house where I currently live right after. At this time he said to me that he sees how my dad communicates to people and told me that one would get insane living in that environment constantly, which felt extremely pleasant to hear as someone external with knowledge of my dad seemed to understand how hard it can be. Recently my mother expressed – in a sober state – that it can be extremely challenging for her to live in that and that friends of the family finds it a challenge to be around him as well. With Steen in the driver's seat I feel that I have taken a step towards taking control of my life and am grateful for the moral support of individuating myself from my dad, who has – without fault of his own or even consciously – dominated much of my life, through establishing uncertainty both with regards to a fragile self-esteem but also the messianic and grandiose drive to save the world to finally be worthy of his admiration and love. Steen represents a new found aspect of myself that is compassionate and understanding towards why I have turned out as I did as well as the drive to liberate myself from the clutches of my dad.

The rain outside symbolise a torrential state of affairs with regards to my emotions – since my last Ayahuasca journey it is as if a lid has been removed and my libido is now coursing freely upwards, which result in more passionate responses and an easier time setting boundaries. It could also symbolise the fact that I am expending a lot of emotional energy in response to external uncontrollable aspects of the world, which is reminiscent of the saviour complex alluded to earlier.

The ticket office could symbolise a public institution, such as the Health Authorities which I have recently been in contact with, with regards Ayahuasca. I might be approaching, or at least that is how I perceive it, a point where I am close to getting in trouble due to my enquiries, yet no harm is done yet. The whole point of issuing a ticket could represent my thinking on Ayahuasca's precarious legal status and potentially in the future thinking of a license model for practising, where the dream hints at that license is nothing that comes from the outside but an internal license, a calling (electronic ticket system).

The GPS and radio system is particularly interesting to me. The clatter represents conditioned thinking and the attention I pay to outward clues for finding out how to direct my life. However when I look closely the “ancient mother” (female GPS voice) is there and is capable of taking me in the direction I need to go. The trick is to ask and learn to listen for what is coming from within and ignore restrictions I put on myself based on external sources of esteem and approval.

The fact that I am concerned with the duration of the trip represents a problematic aspect of how I relate to life in an impatient way. I am lacking trust in life unfolding as it is supposed to. This is related again to the map I saw in the beginning of the dream, which representative of how I tend to construct expectations of how life SHOULD unfold and I am operating under an assumption that I need to go somewhere specific and I need to go there quickly. In essence this result in an escapist approach to life, where I am not allowing it to unfold on its own terms and cannot fully embrace and meet events in a curious, compassionate and open way.

The end of the dream I see the ocean and the beach sort of imaginatively overlapped onto the map with the black line. I take it to symbolise that I am still in the process of letting go of my tendency to construct expectations and narrow definitions of success, but I will shortly arrive at a position where I let go and let Life overcome me and simply concede to the abrupt changes that are about to happen, with excited anticipation and joy in letting whatever happens happen. The fact that it is a sailing trip could represent a recognition of the potent force of the collective unconscious, and my submitting the stubborn fantasy that I am in control and surrendering to the collective collected wisdom of the evolution of Life itself.

Reconstructing the meaning from associated and elaborated ideas.

So a potential message from the dream could be that I am still constructing expectations of where and how life should take me. This becomes a source of frustration when I run into unexpected opportunities and twists of fate.

My dad has been a source for grandiose and messianic ideation, due to his belittling and command-like style of communication, from where he will never explain why he commands, reminds, reprimands, but simply asserts himself in a supercilious tone of voice. Since we have widely different interests in life and he has proclaimed that he has no interest (or capacity) in trying to understand me I have since very early childhood developed these tendencies as a way to garner his approval, which is already there he has just never shown it in a way I could understand it when younger. The fact that he is relegated to the back seat symbolise that I am relegating the grandiose and very ambitious saviour identities – and associated expectancies – to a position where they are no longer “driving me”.

The downpour contrasted with the comfortable, sturdy and undamaged quality of the silver grey car, can symbolise the progress I am making with meditation, where I have found an easier time dealing with painful emotions, as well as physical symptoms. They aren't allowed to penetrate to my core and when I continue the exercise I will strengthen my capacity to sift out the “radio clatter” (which can also signify the attribution of value to others' judgement of me) and listen to the voice of my heart, represented here by the Anima archetype, my deity in prayer – Mother Gaia.

The ticket office close call could symbolise that I need to tone down my activities with certain authorities to avoid getting in trouble, especially because I already have an inner license to pursue my dreams.

The trip to Iceland represents where I am headed next, which isn't a literal journey, although that might be fun also. In fact it might be very useful as it is Steen guiding me, which could mean a pointer to a place of safe haven, which he provided following my last Ayahuasca journey. However I have also recently considered reading up on mythology to get a better understanding of the empirical data that underpins the theory of the archetypes. This journey serves as a pointer towards examining Nordic mythology and shamanistic/divination cultural history.

In short. With particular reference to the intention here I am being reminded that uncertainty is OK, cause if I try and envision or anticipate a direction I will form an expectation, which will lead to suffering when life takes me elsewhere. As long as I listen to my inner voice the direction is guaranteed, so I should just continue the work of being better at letting go of old ways of thinking and sharpen my attention on what matters instead of the clatter. Then a further dive into the Nordic mythology is in store.