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I am at work when I find out there has been a shooting at one of the quads. It seems to happen so quick and it feels unreal and all too real at the same time. I am either watching it on video or seeing it like a scene in a movie (or seeing it from a perspective above the ground?) The quad is in a slightly large, open area (none of the quads we really have) and the shooter is inside the quad. With a handgun he shoots down the associate Fitzie. She’s about 20 yards away but still goes down hard. Someone said Imie tried to protect her, wondering which one got hit. At one point, I see w body on the floor. I think we barely see the faint rise and fall of breath, but someone says she’s definitely gone. Later, we know for certain that she has died. I think someone mentions or comes looking for her, and I know we’ll have to break the news.

I'm in some kind of village, surrounded by high walls. There was no way out of the village. I was trapped in there with my last surviving grandfather, who was evil and was keeping me there. I tried to sneak out of the village somehow, and tried to hide from him. But I ran into him anyway. He came towards me, saying that I was coming with him. I got really pissed off, and wanted to defend myself by hitting him in the face. I was so pissed off, I woke up instantly. I smashed my real-life fist into my nightstand, which hurt.

I turned into some kind of small creature, and navigated a miniature village while a girl watched me. I noticed I had many small legs, like an insect. Then I saw the houses of the village were full of giant spider webs. I realized in horror that this village was populated entirely by giant (to my miniature standards) spiders. I noped out so hard, I woke up.

I'm in a location I can't describe. A library? City streets? Both somehow? There's a long line of rubberbands (?) stretching out as far as the eye can see. I excitedly tell another character that this MUST mean the world runs on some kind of algorithm, as no one could possibly have placed THIS many rubberbands. Either it's a simulation, or it's a dream.

I'm on the Moon. Then I'm on Mars. I somehow end up inside a crater. I want to get out. I realize gravity is lower on Mars than Earth, and this should make flying easier. I jump up, and manage to fly out. I see the Mars surface. It still looks barren, but there's some plantlife here and there and I can breathe. There's another scene where I'm on the surface of Mars with a bunch of other characters, sitting on a chair. Other people are sitting in chairs next to me. We're in a long line. Most of them have some kind of superpower. An attractive blonde walks by, and sits down in a chair opposite of us. Suddenly, she's only a silhouette. I figure she's a shapeshifter. She turned into an older guy a bit later. Anyway... I end up flying off and just soaring over the Martian surface. Below me, the barren wasteland is full of people. I pondered about how this is the future of humanity. I thought it was odd. I always thought that in the future we'd all be cyborgs, not mutants. I flew some more, at one point coming close to hitting some tree branches. I figured because this is a dream, I couldn't get hurt. I saw a large building and decided to put this to the test. I flew straight towards it at top speed, and flew straight through the walls. All the way through the building.

I'm with my mother. We enter a strange kind of facility. Maybe military. I know where to go, somehow. We get into a white elevator (industrial-looking) and go down. Then we enter what looks like a missile silo retrofitted into a lab. Scientists are working on a bomb. Some kind of nuke. They needed our help to complete the work. At some I was concerned with how much radiation I was absorbing.

I was in some kind of café. There was this guy. Tall, big guy. He had a massive revolver. He shot me in the neck. I thought I was screwed, but then I noticed I wasn't really hurt and there was only a tiny scratch. I suddenly had such a weapon too. I aimed and tried to shoot. As so often happens in my dreams, I struggled to pull the trigger. It did go off eventually, and the bad guy fled the café. Someone congratulated me for resolving the situation. I didn't want to hear it, as I was bummed out the bad guy survived and escaped.

Morning of September 10, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 1 min. Readability score: 63.



Natural melatonin is still present during my last dream of the sleep cycle, and I am still recovering from residual flu, so water induction is rendered as a lake with problematic associations.

I am locked in an undesirable scenario that features villains trying to recover weapons and explosives from the lake. (This likely relates to my immune system and natural melatonin as associated with being an antioxidant and probably the glymphatic system, which operates as such during sleep.) I get the impression they will take over an entire town or state soon if they succeed.

I stop most of them with a rifle. One man seems to have a bulletproof vest, as he is not affected by being shot. However, a sea serpent gets him from behind. I attach a naval mine to one villain, which pulls him down to the center of the lake. I push some villains back into the lake, and they do not resurface.

In the last scene, there is one villain left who climbs down a big hill. There is a smaller naval mine on shore. He blows himself up as soon as he tries to move it.

On one level, I can sense my anticipation as related to my subliminal awareness of being in the dream state (as is often the case) and the ability to manipulate my dream’s outcome. It is not the same as lucidity as I am not viably aware I am dreaming. (Lucidity and dream control are independent of each other, despite popular misconception.)

---

I am somewhere outside with two familiar others (they feel familiar to me in the dream, though I’m not sure who they really are). The area seems to be dry, open and flat, and desolate. Two cars are parked right next to each other, and there is a man beside one of them (I want to say he looks like the guy with dark hair from Jurassic Park - I look him up right now and confirm I’m thinking of Jeff Goldblum, also thinking that I saw a picture of a man that looks like him yesterday). We are behind this other car and for some reason engaged in a gunfight with this man. I think I have the only other pistol - the other being his. I’ve shot a few rounds towards him, when the slider automatically locks itself in a cocked position, exposing the shiny silver barrel and pronouncing itself out of ammunition. I start to fear, until one of the others tosses me a single bullet. This reinvigorates me, and with certainty I proclaim “I’m going to kill him.” I raise up after loading and I think I only hit him in the leg. He ends up running away. We end up tracking him down to a house. We are in a cul-de-sac, though a fairly long one (with maybe 10 houses). It and its average looking suburban houses seem proportionate but subtly colossal. It is dim, as if twilight. I go to the other side of the street and try to conceal myself somewhat up against a house in which it seems there is nobody home. There is, however, a white truck backed into the driveway. The shadows here make it seem even darker out. I know that what will ensue will be a fight to the death, and I’m apprehensive and maybe slightly fearful. I imagine someone with a sword fighting me with the intent to kill, and the reality of that makes me uneasy. We know that a house on this street is unlocked, and that he’s sitting in it, waiting for us. From on the dirt, I grab some kind of trowel shaped tool with an edge on it, as well as something else that can be utilized as a weapon. Now, the others are up ahead and they’ve opened the front door. There’s a small stone terrace with 2 stone pillars, past which light from the inside is illuminating the others. They are, with swords, fighting an onslaught of what I can only describe as goblin-like creatures. I think the others are one male and one female. One stands by the door and aims to slice the creatures’ necks, while the other stands at the bottom of the few steps, finishing them off. They have created a substantial pile of bodies. I attack a few that escape the others.

Aug 26 2018

I went to bed at 1:15am and woke at 5:45am. The first dream I remember was an NL. I was in a store at their early morning closing time, and there were only 3 workers present. I was on the frozen aisle. One of them said they would help me once they're done buffing the floors. I waited outside with an umbrella near the open back door of a van (I think they were going to help me load something). After this, I wrote something else in my DJ about a WW bus where I was dying and had to plan my escape. Not sure whether WW stood for WWII or Weight Watchers, both seem equally appropriate.

Before sleeping again I got up and went to bathroom (I find it's easier to return to sleep when I walk around first). Tried to focus on HI and WILD, but no success yet. Ended up MILDing with mantra "I will be lucid in my next dream".

Next time I woke was 7:35am. I had just had a long NL with a huge cast of DCs (was a family reuinion/party). I was hanging out with one of the non-family guests who I didn't know. For some reason it seemed like my family would or should have been angry at me for doing this, but they weren't. The dream transformed slightly and instead of being in my childhood home, I was in someone else's large house (I think I remember this house from a work party my Mom brought me to as a kid). I was now in a hallway that seemed like a bathroom but was filled with people. The doorway connected to the living room. I was speaking to Uncle B, who greeted me but was unusually curt (he's my godfather and is always very warm and talkative IWL). Somehow this triggered me to become lucid.

I looked at my hands and said aloud "I'm dreaming!". I looked at my uncle who had become sort of an expressionless robot (not literally but he looked confused, blank stare, furrowed brows). For some reason I poked him in the chest jokingly. His body turned towards me and he started approaching me menacingly. I felt fear at first, but then a surge of confidence. I put my hand out in front of me and said "You can't hurt me, this is my dream!". His face instantly turned friendly and he leaned back and laughed. He smiled and said "That's right ZAD! Excellent!" and he reached out and hi-fived/shook my hand. I walked around the party for a bit looking at the other DCs. They were all ignoring us and carrying on their own conversations. I don't remember if I lost lucidity or the dream faded, but I awoke after. I had a huge grin on my face when I woke up, it was awesome to have such control of the situation! I've had hostile DCs before and usually they kick me out of my dream, so this was a win for me.

I went to sleep with the same method again, trying WILD then resorting to MILD. The next time I awoke was 8:59am. I remember being in my childhood home on the couch, trying to fall asleep next to my fiance. Earlier my dad had come in and thrown at me making a joke about a roach crawling on it. Within the dream, I was actually trying to WILD! I felt my dream body fall asleep just as my waking body does, and was moving my dream-dream arm (i.e. visualizing the sensation of moving my dream arm without actually moving my dream arm). I kept waking back up and couldn't fall asleep in the dream. I remember being afraid of roaches crawling across my face.

At some point I was able to WILD in my dream -- I latched on to some HI that placed me in the same exact room but without the couch or my fiance. I looked at my hands and became lucid! The room was dark and I felt like I was losing visibility in the dream, so I walked to the light switch unconsciously expecting it not to work. Sure enough, it didn't. I was losing lucidity so I dropped to floor and felt the coolness of the wood with my hands. I also tried to use mirrors to stabilize, but I don't remember even seeing my reflection. I should have transitioned to another dream, but I didn't. I "woke up" in the previous dream and lost lucidity. From this dream I tried to DEILD in the dream, and the HI was really close to completing each time, but never materialized. It would be black and white outlines, with the camera moving in a similar fashion to the opening scene of Ocarnia of Time where the camera follows Navi through the village.

I believe the other dream (me on the couch with fiance trying to fall asleep) continued for a while. At some point the lights turned on and we were watching TV. A tall man in a white shirt and red shorts walked in front of the TV and my fiance asked me for some type of food from the kitchen. I yelled out at him, calling him Rob and asking for the food, but he didn't respond. So again I got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen. At this point I became aware, looked at my hands to confirm, and became lucid. I don't think I said "I'm dreaming" like I usually do, but it was incredibly vivid. I walked towards Rob who was in the kitchen. He had that same furrowed brow and broken robot look about his face (his eyes and mouth looked like they were scribbled in). I approached him since he was standing in the way of the fridge, and he started walking menacingly towards me. I felt confident from my previous encounter, so I simply said "Rob, you were going to get me some "X food", right?" He instantly turned friendly and apologetically let me know that there wasn't any of that here. That was fine since my fiance and the couch had disappeared. I felt his shirt to stabilize -- it was now one of mine, a casual tan button-down. Feeling the texture stabilized the dream. I walked away towards the living room and the layout had changed. The hallway was gone and the curtains took up the entire back wall now. There were also more windows now. I looked out them and when I looked once, they would show night, when I looked again, they would show morning or daylight.

I started losing lucidity, so I turned around and faced the kitchen and curtains (there was no furniture in the living room now). I focused on my breathing. The visuals improved a hundredfold. All of the colors enhanced and felt like I was looking out of a kaleidoscope or a stained glass window -- especially with the curtains, which IWL are very bland. Although the visuals improved, there was a white bar blocking the bottom quarter of my field of vision. I tried to imagine that it was like eye black so I could peel it off, but I couldn't. So instead, I tried to take it out like contact lenses, and my eyes naturally rolled up. This almost caused me to lose lucidity, so I just accepted the white bars for now.

I approached the back-left window and opened it. I imagined that it was light and would slide right up. It did! But it was so light that it easily slid back down. I crawled up (and felt my legs here, something that rarely happens in LDs for me) and put my body through the window, continuously sliding the window up as I went through. I could see that there was an awning coming down from this window, and instead of being ground level, I was four or five stories up. It was a hotel, it reminded me of the Arlington in Hot Springs for some reason. The awning was more like a giant blue tarp, and one corner was tied to my window, the other corner being tied to the ground. I decided I would fly down. Unfortunately I unconsciously doubted myself and as I fell I started losing vision. I tried flapping and that helped a bit, but I ended up landing on my back. The dream almost completely faded, but I sort of DEILD'd (still within the outermost dream) myself back into it.

Now I was on a suburban street where I had landed. There were biggish houses lining the street, and a few houses in front on the right, I saw a man and a wife in a truck, possibly about to back out of the driveway or just arriving back. I manifested Animal Mother's gun from Full Metal Jacket (I think an M60) and started shooting at them. I could see the bullet holes in the cars and buildings, but I didn't hit them. Then I walked over to a group of teenagers on their phones outside a nice house. I pointed the gun at them and told them to get inside. I wanted to kidnap them and see if the police or someone would come to fight me. They sarcastically said "Oh no" and started walking into the house. From here the dream faded pretty quickly. I wrote all this down immediately with a huge grin on my face. I think this last lucid must have lasted at least 1 to 1.5 minutes, which is the longest I've had yet. Overall, awesome night!



*Note: The visuals overall in these lucids were the best I've had yet, but I forgot to enhance my sense of touch! I need to work this into my mantra or my memorized list of steps of things to do once I become lucid. So when I was holding the M60, I was really just positioning my hands as if I was. I actually couldn't feel or see it either, I just believed it was there. I don't think I actually pulled a trigger, I just made sounds with my mouth

**Other note: I think the dreams where I was on my couch was a type of false awakening, just not where I actually was IWL.

***Edit: Forgot to mention that in my last lucid, when I was walking through the living room the second time, I asked aloud "Subconscious, how do I make my dreams longer?", but got no response.

I find myself in the middle of the night in a car. As I am about to start the engine I see a man who is driving from left and then right. He bumps in to the back of another vehicle and flips to the side of the road. I get out of my car to call 911 but I could see ambulance already on their way. I take a few minutes to run to them but eventually they drove right pass me and to the scene.

As I run back to the scene I was introduce to this detective. She tells me we are going over to a part where we suspect dangerous criminals live. I ask her have you done this before and if she'll be okay on her own. She said yes but if she needs my help she'll let me know. We both pulled out our guns and enter the forest in till we appeared on a road.

As we are walking on the road we hear a bullet zoom right passed us. It came from twelve clock , I look at the tree's in the distance and could see a man in a tree made house holding a sniper. I tried shooting at him a couple of times but then someone at the far left in the woods also began shooting. I begin wondering if we were cornered so I told lets take shelter at this abandon cabin not too far from us.

The weather was clouded grey but now began to rain. I look out the cabin windows and could no longer see them at their original positions. I assume they were coming to us inside the cabin. I pulled my knife out and enter inside the first room closet to the door. I told her to hide in the closet that would be straight across the hallway all the way down. So that when they open the door she would have a clear shot.

I decided to leave the room door I was in slightly open so that it could possibly distract them. Even if they enter I would take advantage of the situation by hiding at the side of the door and use the knife in a close up fight. The door opens and I could hear someone footsteps can closer and closer to my room. Then the door brushes against my shoulder, I act on my instincts and turn around to stab him in the neck.

I am surprise when I see it is my brother. Unfortunately I had already stab him as he drops to the floor holding his neck. The shock and confusion made me realize there's no way I could have just killed my brother. I become lucid and told the detective with me that I am going to go get some air. I look out the cabin window and jump while now flying through the tree's. My then flying turned in to floating so I decided to land at a near by road.

I could see people who appeared to be near by neighbors talking to one another while making jokes. A woman who resembled a video game character was having trouble starting her car. I approach it and took her out of it as it was car I wanted to test my driving on. She then runs from me and I notice there's no key. If I had better dream control I would have been able to start it off.

I walk towards the neighbors to see if they had any cars. When I got to them I was puzzled to just hearing them repeating the same phrases to each other and then laughing about it. It happen over and over again so I decided I would rather not talk to them. I then had a false awakening.

Morning of January 3, 2018. Wednesday.



My dream begins in an undefined setting. I do not possess any conscious self threads other than a vague association with Nimbin and Tuntable Falls (which I had written about in a recent entry). I am outside, though there are ambiguous shifts where I am also inside at the same time at certain points.

An unfamiliar male of about thirty is present. Apparently, the police are following him, believing him to be carrying drugs. He has a large backpack and some sort of oversized balloon. Eventually, the balloon grows larger and proves to be that of a dinosaur, a tyrannosaurus (though there is no implied threat as it is just a balloon).

Until the last segment, I am not implied to be a direct part of the scenario. However, I am curiously linked to the dynamics of the balloon. When it expands and grows taller, it seems my dream self is also growing larger and taller, though not implied to be seen by the other dream characters.

Somehow, another balloon is present and expands. I believe it is meant to be a rabbit, though there is not that much focus on it.

A third balloon begins to fill with air and grow large and tall, but this time it is a reindeer, somewhat anthropomorphic. Again, I am linked to the balloon, feeling myself growing larger and even hitting my head on the ceiling (though it is not painful) as I watch the reindeer’s head bump the ceiling to my left, even though we are also implied to be outside.

From here, I am annoyed by the presence of RAS (the police) via the preconscious. What started out as the usual return flight waking symbolism (as a flying reindeer is a flight symbol, which truncated the rabbit symbolism of which symbolizes being deeper in sleep) to vestibular system symbolism, triggers an odd level of semi-lucidity to where I am ready to shoot everyone (which symbolizes real-time RAS mediation of the dream state). Bumping my head on the ceiling means a part of my mind is holding me in the dream state, though as I am only semi-lucid, I am unsure of my waking space status and physical orientation. Still, I shoot about six officers in the forehead. They are ducking behind some cover (some sort of flat vertical structure), but I get them one at a time in my semi-lucid waking space. (As I have written in past entries, the association with the man possibly carrying illicit drugs is a dream state potential reinduction factor, as they relate to altering the level of consciousness or unconsciousness.)

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I really don't remember much on how this started but somehow from the sky we were transported to a place of red armor roof tops and grey slated buildings. Upon arriving, we ( a group of people who I do not know) could hear explosions and shooting from pretty much all directions. Then the people that I was around all ran away. I didn't knew where to go or what to do. That's when I heard someone yell something in what I suspect to be in chinese.

That's when you could see a huge bomb land and shook the entire area for a good minute. People kept running and almost bumping in to me. That's when I saw a man in grey trying to shoot people. After killing a few people, he see's me and attempts to take a couple rounds at me. I somehow manage to not get hit but very quickly it partial became clear to me that I wouldn't get hurt. I said it to myself in my head that I am dreaming. Upon realizing this I made an attempt to get shot so that the shock of it will wake me up. I also was curious to know what the dream would make me feel once I did take a bullet.

Before I knew it, I had a false awakening and was lying in my bed with my lucidity gone. When my eyes open this weird looking sharingan was present for about 5 seconds with in my eye sight. I got up from the bed and could see a few people and what look to be my father running. I could tell by the design that we were at the entrance of an airplane. People were rushing through the hall way to get on to it as everyone had this feeling the entire area was going to blow up.

The door's open and was quickly closing itself, leaving anyone who did not get on to it fast enough screwed. I had miss the first one but fortunately got the chance to get on the second one.

This was the first night that I tried the method I discussed in my Method of Loci post to help with dream recall. The first dream felt relatively long and vivid, and when I woke up (around 1:15am), I packed it away in a plain red shoebox. Only now I can't remember what I packed or any details about the dream, except for that I put something in there that resembled the bow of a miniature shipping vessel. Just the bow, as if it was cut off. It was silver or dull light gray.
After this dream I felt pretty good about myself, so I tried SSILD and overdid it a little, to the point that I couldn't get back to sleep for quite some time. I didn't get back to sleep until 3am, and I think this contributed to me forgetting any details about the first dream except the one item I packed in the box (a standard red shoebox, with a separate lid [not a folding one-piece box]). I think at one point I tried to write on the lid with a brighter red magic marker, but I can't remember what I wrote either.

I remember that the next dream was an FA, but when I awoke I didn't have any details to pack into the orange shoebox.

The next dream was the first of the night that I could remember. I was with friends/classmates in an auditorium (it felt like a college, but the auditorium was bigger than my college). I think this was linked to one of my old classmates asking me in WL to come to a graduation party. The non-WL DCs and I stayed there for a while, listening to the lecture and discussing something. At the end I walked out but had to come back for my backpack, which was a dull greyish-brown and black, and was slouched on the ground against the seats in front.
The next scene was a relatively smooth transition, and it felt like the same auditorium, but it was merged with the fellowship hall from my old church, except there were black double doors for the exit and they were mostly glass. A kid from my middle/high school who was intensely socially awkward was kind of harassing an older female teacher. Their dynamic reminded me of the receptionist at my current job and one of my more annoying coworkers. I try to help, and he leaves, but he's at the glass doors again in a second, although they won't open.
Somehow, I exit through the front doors of my old church.
I put a scrap of cloth from the schoolbag and a pencil (reference to socially awkward kid) in the yellow shoebox.

The next thing I remember, I'm in an office with white walls and wooden features, standing with one of my coworkers. The office seems more like an office on campus than from work. He's asking for a raise, at least once every month, as well as "some kind of advancement". The office has white walls, wood floors, and large picture windows showing some greenery.
The scene then cuts to a long hallway with tall ceilings, cream walls, wood beams, and warm recessed lighting. This may be the outside of the office. There are no windows and although it feels very closed off, it's not uncomfortable.
I didn't pack anything in the shoebox for this.

Next I'm in a yard (the music bldg from campus?) walking by huge oaks with sprawling branches and roots. I'm stepping over the roots with some DCs. The branches and roots and even patches of grass are all covered with these bright green caterpillars that seem like a mix between leaves and larvae. They have curling antenae and they're flailing and oscillating. This scene feels like it lasted a while, I talk with the DCs.
Next I'm approaching the courtyard for a dormitory or hotel. The walkway is made of the same red stone as my current apartment's courtyard. All over the walkway, there's a thin coating of crushed green caterpillars. It looks like pollen on the sidewalk on a spring day. There are caterpillars here and there and I'm forced to step on them. The feeling is repulsive. By the entrance to the dormitory, I see a young Romanian boy (adolescent) with missing teeth and a hat, evocative of Titanic.
I put a chunk of the red stone and a few caterpillars into the green shoebox (this really helped with recall later on).

In a school room with my girlfriend, the lighting is blue with some dull warm yellows. There's a mentally handicapped student (older than us - looks late twenties to thirty). Although all of the students are in their early twenties, it feels like a middle or high school class. There are traditional seats as well as what looks like a shop in the back.
The mentally handicapped guy has now morphed into two people - a younger, thinner man in a red shirt (the victim) and a darker, more sinister figure with an automatic gun. The man in red is forced to kneel behind the shop table. I have a handgun in my hand, but classmates grab my shoulder and don't let me use it. The man with the gun approaches the shop table. I now have a butcher knife from my own kitchen, but still they grab my shoulder and don't let me stop the man. The man says "Final countdown. Aye aye," and then starts shooting. Up to the point right before shooting, the victim has been kneeling with his back straight, proud. But at the last moment, he ducks and tries to escape. The man keeps shooting him and the gunshots don't sound right. The man keeps saying "Aye aye. Aye aye. Aye aye," over and over as he mows this guy down. The bullets make thunking sounds as they lodge themselves into him. I don't know how to describe it -- it was like shooting cheese? The whole time this happening I'm drifting towards wakefulness and I think about how much that must hurt, and start imagining the sensation; it's quite vivid.

I put two eyeballs with the trails (think Neversoft) in the shoebox ("Aye aye"), and this was enough for me to remember the rest -- it was quite jarring.

Side note -- I've been keeping a pretty good DJ and actually had two more LDs this weekend, but it takes me some time to revise it for posting on DV. I'll try to be better about this in the coming weeks. Thanks for reading!

Morning of December 12, 2017. Tuesday.



In this dream, there is the transition to water reinduction (water as symbolizing sleep), though my conscious self identity is virtually nonexistent. Even being in the Loomis Street house’s backyard, there is not even the association with my relatives who lived there for years. While in the backyard near the alley (where I have not been in real life since February 1994), there are a number of unfamiliar characters. There is something about going somewhere, another country perhaps, and we start our journey.

The Loomis and Gillette Street area transform into some sort of distorted wharf, which I believe is meant to be with the ocean on the left (even though Wisconsin is nowhere near the ocean in reality). All of the people we meet are dark-skinned and may be Sri Lankan (which I seem to recall being said as such in my dream). They are all males in their twenties, supposedly refugees. It is illegal for us to be there or walk over the wharf to wherever it is we are going. That will apparently not stop us though and our group walks over the long wharf. Still, the other males are very friendly even though they seem slightly confused that we are not like them. I start talking to them in Spanish, “Cuando salga el sol me despertaré”. (“When the sun rises I will wake” - note that I am not viably aware I am dreaming.) I repeat “cuando” several times, as a question. They only shrug and smile.

There is an area where a doorway is too narrow to go through. I do something to where we continue from near the right of it, though it does not make any sense. It seems as if I somehow moved the doorway itself by “sliding” it with my hand.

From here, I am riding in a van, on the front passenger side, on the right (implying America). The driver of this van is riding a motorcycle a car length ahead of the van (which makes no sense at all, but this is how it is experienced).

The port authorities are now following us. Because we had gone through the restricted area that held refugees, we are to be captured and shot, no matter where we decide to go or live. The man on the motorcycle is shot once and splits into several pieces, rolling over the road, the van I am in continuing to apparently drive itself. I do not feel very emotional.

After traveling a long distance, miles away from the Loomis Street house’s backyard, I find myself back on Loomis Street, in the Loomis Street house’s kitchen (likely due to mild hunger in sleep). Of course, this makes no sense either.

I am presumably the last one of my group left. I now have a very vague emergent awareness of relatives having lived on Loomis Street years ago, though no current conscious self identity. An unknown male comes into the kitchen from the south room to shoot me. I decide that this is RAS mediation (even though I am not lucid) and that he is the preconscious factor and thus I shoot him first and then soon wake. I will not tolerate being victimized in my own dream, even when there is no viable thread of current conscious self identity.

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Morning of September 16, 2017. Saturday.

Reading time: 3 min 34 sec. Readability score: 75.



My dream atypically begins in liminal space of the type that is usually an end marker, which a parking lot represents. The main characters other than myself are Ray Romano from “Everybody Loves Raymond” though his wife is Jane Wyatt as from the much older television show “Father Knows Best.“ Ray, Jane, their fictional daughter (who seems like a young version of Zsuzsanna, though my dream self does not recognize her as such), and I are in a dark blue pickup truck. I am in the cab, but I later ride in the back with their daughter.

An additional recurring dream state indicator (other than the parking lot) is the pickup truck itself (due to the play on “bed”). The first situation relates to an appointment made by her parents (I assume with no choice in the matter), because of a government agency coming to take their daughter to place her in a group home for specialized foster care. When other men arrive, parking at a distance from the truck, I take out a small cylindrical rod with a button on one end. I push it, and it transforms into a large pistol. I shoot at the car. After my third shot, it explodes dramatically and consumes four or five unoccupied cars near it.

An unknown man on the opposite side of the truck looks on in a puzzled manner. He does not leave the area of his car. He stands behind its open driver’s side door. So as I do not get found with a gun on me, I press a button on the gun’s handle, and it changes back into the small rod.

I ride in the back with their daughter. I tell Ray to drive down a particular road. Curiously, there are automatically operating French doors set up across part of it. (They are not a part of a building.) We go through these doors. I explain to their daughter about her need to grow up in a family environment with her real parents instead of by the government, which often results in cognitive dissonance through half-attained brainwashing. We talk for a long time, though I do not recall every detail. I agree with her that while some parents are not capable of viably raising children, that does not mean the government should have all children under their observation or utilize profiling based on race or cultural background.

I am aware of owning an expansive organization and area of land in which people live as they want as long as there is no crime. We arrive there, and the family makes plans for their living arrangements.

Before the three new people move into their new home, I talk about the confirmation of their state of health. The daughter says I am not a doctor. “Yes, I am,” I confidently reply.

I press a button on my device, and it transforms into an unusual machine. Parts grow out as a result of nanite activity. It resembles an oversized embossing label maker. The girl kneels down, and I look at the top of the device as I hold it directly over her head. It has scanned her entire body for any health issues and reports (by the print that appears on the surface of the top) that there are no concerns. I have Jane kneel as well. The device does not display any potential problems. Ray seems to have a cholesterol issue, but I will address that later.

An unfamiliar young black man is present. He seems to know me well. I ask him how his friends and family are. They are well. I go into a large room that has an ambiguous outdoors area on one side (a commonly recurring dream distortion that is impossible to resolve consciously). There are others in the room. One male is hunting for food. He shoots at a strange figure that runs behind trees and to the left. “Was that the Tasmanian Devil?” I ask cheerfully (though it looked more like a bizarre cartoon rabbit with human legs and wearing track shorts).

I feel a change in my level of consciousness, so I go down a flight of steps to vivify my dream. (This is even though I am not lucid. However, long-term knowledge of reactive representation often carries over into the dream state).

I am in a featureless field (a dream setting that represents an "empty” area of waking space). I decide to fly but not that far above the ground. I fly stomach down and use my arms to gain speed by pushing down against the ground to propel myself forward. I enjoy this more and more. I feel it will make me stronger in the arms while not tiring the rest of my body. I am aware of Leonard S (my pinhead friend from King Street). He is standing near a storefront that comes into view to my left. I am also aware of an older unknown male whom I feel may benefit from flying in the way I am as I consider he may need to strengthen his heart muscles in a less stressful way. (He seems about seventy years old.) I continue to fly this way. When I wake, my right hand is pushing down on the mattress though I am only partly on my stomach by way of my left side.

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Morning of August 30, 2017. Wednesday.



My dream’s setting is a unique composite as always. (I have never non-lucidly dreamt of the same setting more than once, even in tens of thousands of closely studied and fully mapped non-lucid dreams for over fifty years. This aspect of non-lucid dreams is due to the incidental real-time dynamics of being in non-lucid REM sleep, where reflective cognitive capabilities do not exist as in lucid dreams and even more so in apex lucidity where automatic conscious control of the dream state is achieved.)

The back area of our house is modeled after our present home, (our backyard south of our house), except that the area between the short hallway to the back door and the minimally-rendered kitchen has no dividing layout (and is all an open area). The implied east side of this rendering (assuming our present home) is loosely modeled after the north side of a previous home on Stadcor Street in Brisbane (though the driveway more like the Gellibrand Street apartment in Clayfield), the third-from-last house we lived in. The front of my dream’s house, implied to be oriented northerly, is modeled more accurately after the west area of the Stadcor Street house, which was also the front of that house.

For several minutes, my dream features the recurring event of me taking supposed public money out of a device in our home (that is, a device in our home which is apparently used by the public and the money going elsewhere, which makes no sense from a waking life standpoint, especially as the public would not otherwise have use of our home, the only way to explain this being real-time symbolism related to receiving thoughts from other people via the collective unconscious which was validated long ago from “receiving” from Zsuzsanna long before we met in reality). There is no backstory on what purpose the device serves. It may be some sort of unlikely vending machine (though is too small to serve that purpose). The device is about the length of my hand and looks like a miniature vertically elongated cash register. Zsuzsanna is present and so is Marilyn (older half-sister on my Mother’s side who died in 2014, though I have no memory of her death here and she appears as she was in the 1980s). I make three attempts to get money out. My second and third attempts make no sense as I had already gotten all the coins out in the first attempt, by shaking the device upside-down, yet many more come out on my second and third attempts. The sound of the clinking coins, the movement and momentum of my hands, and the movement of the internal parts of the device are rendered very realistically.

I am eventually aware of a police presence in our backyard. There are at least seven officers standing around on stakeout, though not for us, but a criminal who lives in the area. Still, I am concerned they might see the various coins lying everywhere on the floor. I make a quick attempt to kick sheets of paper and parts of clothes over them. I also slip some into my left pocket. They ask me through the back door if I know a certain man or had seen them and I say no. (I do not recall the name though I know it did not sound familiar.)

At one point, I notice that an unfamiliar female police officer is closest to our house. I also notice that the screen is torn down the middle from the top of the screen door, about three-quarters of the way down. (though we do not have a back screen door in reality.) She pushes it towards me from outside as if to draw more attention to it, almost slapping me in the face with it, but not intentionally. There is an additional partial horizontal tear in the screen (lower down) of less significance and which seems to have already been there for a long time, but this vertical tear was apparently done recently by the authorities, supposedly for my benefit and theirs regarding their stakeout. I find it puzzling but I do not comment. In a short time, my brother-in-law Bob makes his first appearance in this dream (mostly as he appeared in the 1980s). From the left side of the solid wooden back door, he closes it over the screen door (and it closes from the opposite side as in reality). “This door can be closed,” he says cheerfully though informatively. I question if his act is thought out very well, but I do not comment.

In the next scene, I am going to the front of our house. Off to my right, through the windows of the adjoining room I am walking through, the criminal first makes his presence known. He drives rapidly (north based on our present home) over our driveway, the car’s tires loudly crunching and spitting gravel and dust (the driveway of which our present home does not have as such, as it is just a very narrow side yard in reality, though, as mentioned in the second paragraph, this seems based on dynamics of when we lived in Clayfield on Gellibrand Street despite the room being like the one on Stadcor Street, though my dream’s house is at about ground level, unlike in reality for all three locations). This event makes no sense at all, as he is suddenly driving rapidly from our backyard, directly from where several police officers had just been standing. I wonder if they even noticed he was there.

In the front room of our house (which again, is now of the Stadcor Street house) I look out the front windows. Our front doors (screen door and main door) are both open. The criminal has come up our high front steps (despite our house being implied to be low-set a couple minutes previously) and I politely nod “hello” to him through the doorway even though I do not want his imposition. He has a scruffy beard and light red hair. I eventually notice that he is coming in and there are at least two females with him, one pregnant, though otherwise very slim and wearing tight clothes (this character being directly modeled after a contestant on the Australian “Family Feud” game show very recently).

I suddenly change my mind about welcoming him (which is based on a subliminal desire to sleep longer) and now I am not even sure what good the police presence is doing. I boldly tell him to get out. He becomes very angry. I notice that he is carrying some sort of rifle of illogical appearance. Instead of doing anything to me from near the doorway or even approaching me, he leaves the house to go into the street and starts shooting at our house. The noise is very loud and puffs of white smoke (dream state indicator) are floating everywhere like little clouds (this scene partly as a result of real-life environmental noise). I head towards the back of the house, which once again is more like our present home.

As illogically large bullets are now firing through the walls of our house from the front and the back, the female police officer (still near the back door) advises me to get down. I get down on the floor and wake up in the exact same position I had just been in my dream. I then realize that the police officer seemed modeled after an additional young version of Zsuzsanna.

---

This dream entry is probably too long to include a full decoding, but I will note a few details. Emergent consciousness and preconscious factors seem to be “after” each other here and I am (as my personified subconscious which again has no reflective cognitive capabilities despite the bizarre but popular disinformation) caught in the middle, which is amusing, but very atypical, though we did watch two episodes of “Cops” just before sleeping (though this is probably also related to news about North Korea, hopefully not prescient). The torn screen of the back door is a known dream state indicator, which represents a growing metaphorical opening that otherwise divides preconscious from emergent consciousness as a “screen”, though this is more about Zsuzsanna’s emergent consciousness “sending” to mine in real time. (As such, I am surprised that I did not become viably lucid, especially at least semi-lucid, though my dream did noticeably vivify past this point.)

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Sabbath, paperwork, level and boar shovel

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It was a dark afternoon and the evening was close. I escaped from my house, a big, victorian mansion in suburbs of some big city and took a bus to it's centre, thinking about why I escaped from there. I realised that I did it because my sisters literally were witches about to have a sabbath. I had enough of their magic for some reason. Taking a walk around dark streets, I entered some shop and searched for stuff that I could defend myself with. More people entered the shop, they were my friends and tried to help me to stop witches from destroying our house or doing something even more horrible. We convinced checkout assistant to fortify the shop and set up a safe spot there, but I knew that I'll have to go back house sooner or later.

Suddenly I found myself in some office. I had to fill in some forms taken from lobby downstairs and follow a spiral staircase upwards. I had to dodge opening doors once, as some woman was leaving her office and accessing the staircase. I finally reached the office I was meant to leave my papers in, only for clerk to tell me that I need to fill in some more forms. I had to go back down and up three more times to get all the paperwork done, then left the office. I was summoned by my witch-sisters back to our house - they were flying on their brooms, tearing through walls and shooting beams of energy from their walls that blasted holes in it. It was a ceremony of destruction during their sabbath.

My perspective changed for a while and I saw myself working on a level for a video game. I said "Now, that's a great idea!" and imagined myself how the level looked and played out. The player would start in an airlock from which it'd be able to access an interior of space station.

Then I was in some ancient ruins deep underneath the destroyed mansion. I was a knight in full plate armor and I had some companions with me. We ran towards some altar on platforms hanging above lava and met my sisters. They wanted to kill us, so we defended ourselves and fought, eventually throwing all of them down to fiery death, awakening some kind of evil serpent-god. We battled with the monstrosity, killing it with arrows and swords. When falling down dead, it ripped a hole in cavern wall where I immediately jumped. My companions started shouting "Boar shovel!" and I raised something that kinda looked like a strange mix of battering ram and shovel. I started digging for unknown reason and mistakenly dropped one of my gauntlets to lava, yelling "My knightly gauntlet!".

Then my perspective changed once again. I saw an arctic ocean with an iceberg. From underneath the deep, gray-blue water the evil serpent-god emerged and said "In the end, I always win!", my witch-sisters flying high above the serpent, leaving colourful trails on the sky.

---

---

Outbreak, recalling dreams within dream, survival, facing new world, avatar powers and "semi-lucid"

I left a bus and looked at, seeing my reflection in one of windows. I was a tall, muscular, bald man in black t-shirt and in jeans trousers. There were a lot of people in there, it was some kind of a FEMA encampment or factory turned into an evacuation shelter. Suddenly people all around became aggressive and started attacking each other, then anything that was even moving. I was defenseless, so I started showing zombies finger-guns and pretended to shoot them, which actually spawned real colt gun in my hands. I shot my way from courtyard and was about to get to safety of encampment. I saw some horrified dog running towards the entrance that was automatically closing during emergencies like this. I heard some voice saying "And then the death race to doors began! Who is going to make it? Him, or maybe the dog?" I started running after the dog, almost catching up to it, but the canine jumped forward in last moment - the gate closed, leaving me outside. The voice spoke again, saying "So the dog made it."

I decided to look around. Looking at that place I thought that it could be a cool location for a game, and recalled myself a previous dream that I had. In that dream I was a stalker and there were several heavily fortified military fortresses behind my barn.

Then I came back to the reality I was in - there was no way to enter the encampment, but I could see entrance to sewers nearby. I cautiously approached dark tunnels and sneaked through sewers to some supermarket in city centre, shooting undead on the way. I lost all my ammo, so I had to find some melee weapon. There was a long, thin pipe that I could use as a staff or bludgeoning weapon, so I picked it up and moved upstairs, meeting with other survivors. My younger sister was one of them. We moved to some abandoned shop overrun by zombies and cleared it. After clearing it, some cop came from nowhere and cuffed me. As he was taking me somewhere, my sister freed me and he started escaping. I chased him and smashed his skull with my pipe, then strapped it back. With other survivors we decided to leave all the stuff for later and moved to another store. It was a fortress made by other survivors. We surveyed the area when suddenly another cop cuffed me. Sister freed me again and I chased the cop, but he opened the way for zombies, so they could get inside the safe spot. We gunned down all the undead, but owners of the fortress died. With my group I moved to that store we cleared previously and started packing my backpack with foodstuffs. No one else was doing that however. I cautiously checked contents of every glass jar, taking many of those ready meals, and then we moved on.

A map looking like it was made for a NES game appeared. I saw my group on it, inside ruined city. There was a small riverside town and a big metropoly. I saw roads with trucks and other vechicles of 20th century (as in, communism era). A voice said that this small town was forgotten, living in a shadow of a great metropoly ruled by evil dictatorship. Then I saw huge ant-like robots powered by steam marching through cities and that Poland was within one of destroyed nations. The last thing that the voice said is that one must defeat guardian of bridge to enter that little town. With my group of survivors we moved there and everyone except me went through bridge undisturbed. I was stopped by the guardian - a huge bear walking on two legs. I've seen it as if it was a sidescrolling NES game. I shot the bear with machinegun, curiously it shot arrows not bullets. When the animal retreated, I got to the city.

Everything started to look like an animated movie, everything seemed to be drawn with pencil and coloured with crayons. Me and the group of survivors I travelled with had our new lives here. I was living with some family as they let me stay in their house. One day when we were having a breakfast, a group of lizards armed with spears busted into our house and were about to attack me. Instead of escaping, I called the powers of four elements and started blasting those lizards with them. I felt all the forces working on my body and gaining those powers felt as if this part of the dream wasn't meant to be and that I forced it. Everyone in the house asked in disbelief "Does he have avatar powers?" I blasted almost all of those lizards away, but two of them kidnapped father of the family. I burst out through wall and saw them far away, almost reaching mountain top in the distance. I tried to fly up there, getting high up to the sky, but I fell down on the road and made a small crater in it. Several more attempts of flying, I could feel something stronger than gravity pulling me down, but there were no more craters on landing. I got to the mountains, but there were no traces of anyone. Suddenly I received a vision of myself. I was in despair, as I couldn't link great fires after the bell toll and let dictatorship grow strong. Suddenly the kidnapped man appeared and said "That's what I was trying to make you recall."

---

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Damn, writing down those convoluted dreams took much more than I thought it would. Empty spaces are for easier reading, those dreams actually had no breaks between each of "scenes".

23-5
Fragments
-Small red spaceship orbits some planet. I watch it as a DO. Nothing happens, no sound or signs of life.

-Sex fantasy. I'll leave the details out.

Dream 1 - Zooming and Shooting
I'm in a game of Overwatch. I first play as Ana and switch to Tracer when an enemy Tracer kills me. I zoom around the map really fast and kill the other Tracer several times. We win the match. The dream shifts to another kind of shooter. The setting is now a dark WW2 battlefield. I have a sniper rifle and spot some enemies. I drop to the ground and take aim. Aiming is difficult. I miss three times. I start to suspect something at this point. I keep observing the target. He appears to be a doctor. In which case I shouldn't be shooting him. That's a war crime I forget that it's a war game and the doctor starts selling some meds to me.

WBTB, 5:45 - 7

Dream 2 - Showers
I suddenly find myself in a public sauna. I'm a little confused. I get out and see a large room with showers. Naked men and women walk by. There's only men in the showers and all of them are gay couples giving each other a BJ. Yeah, this place is definitely not for me. I don't want someone surprising me from behind, so I quietly navigate my way out of there.

I find some sort of changing room and meet two waking life friends. One of them asks my help with something, but I said I was looking private shower before I was leaving. My friend had a sleeping bag in the dressing room. He was apparently spending the night here.

Fragment
-Weird microwave oven. The bottom of it split in two and since the oven was raised up with some bricks, the bottom had split accidentally while my mom was heating something and the food was all over the table.

Dream 3 - Simpsons and stealing
In my apartment. There's a tv on my nightstand. I watch Simpsons. The scene suddenly changes. I'm stealing some candy from the backroom of some store. A large lady sees me and stops me. I go back in time. This time I buy the item and go get it from the backroom myself. I wait around for the fat lady to notice so I can have the satisfaction of her wrongly accusing me of stealing and then correcting her. By the end of the dream I'm unsure what I got. It was either candy or meds.

Another WBTB. 7:20 - 8:27

Dream 4 - Car ride Really inspired title, lol.

I'm in a car with two friends, mom and my brother. Brother is driving. We are in my hometown. I start telling them about the weird dreams I had this night. As I list things that happened, my brother starts talking over me and listing things that happened in my dreams. He actually lists what happened. It felt like my dreams are predictable and my brother was making fun of me. I was mad and just sat silently until I woke up.

It was in some desert city. With brother and pals we were in special forces sent to capture enemy base. We sneaked through alleys and got to rooftops, from where we were shooting. Eventually we captured the base.