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My sleep-meditation mp3 tracks continue to manifest in my dreams. Last night I listened to a reading of Go Rin No Sho (Book of Five Rings), a text about the Samurai and Japanese Swordsmanship. In a dream I entered a dark space, in a degree of sleep paralysis, then a light appeared and suddenly I could see and move. I would class my consciousness as 90% lucid. The reading I was listening to was coming into the dream as movement and light. After a short time I slipped back into a normal dream-state.
My sleep meditations at night seem to be appearing more often in my dreams. I am excited, as this would mean I am having an effect on my unconscious mind.

Originally journal on 06/29/2023.

Bizarre experience! I've never had anything quite like this happen.

I had a lucid nightmare the other night. Being lucid, I decided to stay in the dream. However, my spouse (in waking life asleep next to me) woke up in terror and started yelling.
Her yelling woke me up. I opened my eyes and she was yelling right in my face clear as day. She was looking straight at me, shouting "Go away!"
I could distinctly see the horror in her eyes. I told her that everything is fine, trying to calm her down.

Afterwards, she told me that she was NOT yelling in my face at all. That never happened. Not from that perceptive, anyway. She did yell those words, but not at me. She was looking at something red behind me and that's what she was yelling at. She had leaned forward to get close to it when she started yelling at it.

So, I saw from the perceptive of the red thing she was yelling at, not my body, which was facing a different direction in a completely different position in the room.
It was completely dark in the room as well. I saw her as though there was a bright light illuminating her face, but there was never any light.
This was an OBE, I concluded.

That's all for now!

I'm in the car with my dad and we're driving into the town that I grew up in. As we're driving down the streets, I look around and notice how much it has changed. The school I used to go to is all new and so much bigger than it used to be, the roads have been updated, everything is so much flashier than it used to be. There are new shops and houses all over the place that I've never seen before. We park in the parking lot of the shopping centre my dad and I used to go to every week, and we enter in through the back way that we'd always use. For the most part, it looks the same.
I'm excited to see the people that I grew up with again, considering its been about 3 years since I'd been here. In the grocery store, each aisle is littered with teenagers talking and messing around with each other, but there isn't a single kid I used to play with. I recognise some of the faces, being kids who live in my new town, but none of the ones who went to my old school. None are kids who I'd shared classrooms with. I realise it's been so long that I've forgotten the faces of everyone who made my childhood what it was. I go back to my dad whos in the self checkout and dejectedly tell him none of my old friends are here.
We walk back through the rest of the shopping centre to the car park. I look around, the shopping centre is the same. The neighbourhood and the school and the people might've changed, but this mall is the same as it always was. The $2 store, the fish and chips shop, the spices store, it's all the same. And then I woke up.

Also, tomorrow is my birthday

My dreams have been pretty fragmented lately so I don't have any full dreams but I thought I should share anyways.

Teen Titans 10
I remember yesterday dreaming that I was Dick Grayson as Nightwing again. Jason Todd was killed so I agreed to team up with Batman again and return to the mantel of Robin and go back in time to save Jason.

Star Wars Battlefront VR
I put on my VR headset and am totally imersed in the Metaverse. There is a new Star Wars Battlefront game where you get to be different characters from the movies and I go on an adventure playing through the game. When you choose your character you walk up to these statues of the characters to choose. There are all sorts of characters to choose from both sides. I start out as a rebel and save Princess Leia. Then I am her and I am starting to help organize the rebelion. Then I switch to a Jedi in a bar. There is a place for target practice with blasters but three Sith women notice me use the force to pick up a blaster. Their leader has a bow and arrow and I duck under a table only to find someone else is already hiding there. The Sith come down to find me and I try shooting the blaster at them but the trigger is nearly impossible to pull. There was a lot more to this dream but it is so fragmented now from sleeping in.

Almost WILD
At about 11:45 AM my partner K starts moving around and I realize I am half awake and I feel that the arms of my dream body are in a differnt position than I left my real arms were when I left them last which is a sign I'm about to get a WILD. I can't maintain it because my K is moving around so my WILD fails. I get short bit of dream I am in a Runescape trying to sell some stuff on the Grand Exchange. I see people wearing adamantine armor before I wake up.

All the most interesting dreams from this week involved music in some way. These included:

-Applying a temporary tattoo of the notation for the amen break to my face, apparently for some event I was going to attend.

-Working on a piece of music. As the dream progresses, the different parts become associated with characters, and a story plays out among them. The characters all travel somewhere special, like the moon, a number of times. I think it ended with everything being absorbed back into the composition again. Unfortunately, I can’t remember many of the details as I woke up to one of the cats getting ready to cough up a hairball and had to immediately turn on the lights and make sure she didn’t do it on my bouzouki.

-Programming a couple weather patterns on something that looked suspiciously like a groovebox. I’m doing this at somebody’s request, at the shop he owns. There’s a sense of the machine making the process much simpler than it would be otherwise, just a matter of pressing a few buttons. When I’m done, I make a mental projection of the future to check that my proposed patterns won’t screw up the weather in other places, and since everything looks OK, I confirm them.

At some later point in the dream, I gain lucidity flying over a place that’s a cross between a highway and a waterway, with cars going one way and ships going the other. I decide to go back to the scene from the earlier dream, and I speak with the man to find out if he has anything else I can do there. It strikes me as an interesting thing to do while focusing on maintaining lucidity. I woke up not long after, though, which wasn’t surprising as it was actually getting rather late into the morning.

27.6.23-3.7.23

I got lucid after going back to sleep
I kind of were subtle about realizing I'm asleep, carefully checked my hands, then just going on, I thought the dream is against me being lucid
I went out then everything turned into nothing
then I tried to stabilize because there was nothing infont of me really, just sludges of colour
I thought then I guess I can try imagine a scene, then it kind of came to me
now I was in a house, looking out of a window with no glasses
a swamp formed in front of me, there was.... water was everywhere, calm water, and green trees and a blueish lightish fog not too thick, made me feel like I'm in a closed comforting space
I heard some birds in the distance
I just stood there and absorbed the landscape, just chilling, it was really nice

College Again (NLD) 07.02.2023

I am in the animation drawing class at my old college except instead of rows of computers there are normal desks with seats. The professor is MF and he says we have to design space craft for this assignment. I look in my portfolio for a blank piece of paper and pull one out. After I start drawing I realize there is already part of a drawing drawn in ink and it clashes with what I have drawn in pencil so I need to find a different paper without anything on it. This is when I start to question why I am back in college. After all, I already have my degree. This is a common dream sign but the dream logic keeps me from doing a reality check! Instead I walk up to MF and ask if I am on the list of students. He takes a look at his notes and says I am indeed enroled in the class.

After the class is over I go to the information desk because this just doesn't seem right. I walk up to one of the people at the desk and ask if they can tell me if I am enrolled in clases. "You see, I often have dreams I am back in school and I just want to know if I'm enrolled." They make up excuses of how they don't have access to this information. "What is my current GPA?" I ask. "You have a 2.2 from missing so many classes." I was an honors student so this stresses me out and I still don't become lucid.

I go outside and there is some sort of game where you walk around a square shape made of squares drawn on the pavement in chalk. I get hung up in playing this game where you walk around the squares and things happen depending on where you land. This part of the dream is fuzzy now and, of course, I don't become lucid.

Yesterday I made nap with WILD intention. As anchor I used history podcast about soviet BTR armored vechicle. I entered in to dream after 30 minutes of lying in bed and for first seconds it wasn't so obvious for me if i'm already in dream or not. I didn't experience hipnagogs nor paralyze. Ofc I felt a little bit different that usual but I would not call this hipnagogs. Anyway when this weird feeling stop then I opened my eyes.

LD
I woke up in my bed. Nothing special for first look so I just stand up and I made positive RC. "Nice" I thought, but what to do? My bad I didn't prepare any plan for LD so my ad-hoc idea was to explore my inner senses. I mean how I'm feeling my own body in dream.
In first part I was changing my haircuts and I checked it in mirror every time. My face looked normal and I felt my new haircut like in real life as well. After few minutes I woke up but it was FA so I made another positive RC.
In second part I was focused how I feel myself with new clothes. My wear was really nice in touching. Despite my experience was similar like in real life I really was enjoyed. Usually I feel pain in my LDs if my touch sense is working.
In entire dream I was in hurry. I tried to do everything as fast as possible. In second part of my dream I told to myself „It is pointless to be hurry because it is stressing me. I have no power to make my dream longer so if my dream will end that’s okay. No more rush, only peace can help me”

I met on online friend last night and went partying and clubbing with him and his friends, it was a wonderful evening and I had a great day, came home around 7 am and fell asleep almost immediately

In my dream, I meet a random celebrity and get to join him on his "premiere tour" for the night, they go to random openings of locations and then sit at a table at the back of the venue for a while until the next one comes by. At some point they get the venue and tell me it's at the station called "pizza" I ask them if I should get on the underground on my way there but they telling me I should take the "Louvre tram"

I then slowly wake up still tired, but rested enough to no longer sleep (hungover lol)

long sleep, vivid dreams, tons of day residue

+ walking through a theme park with JT (company 3) and family. I sort of suddenly find myself here in this location, and I look around and "recognize" it. Outdoors, daylight, there are vague buildings all around, and some walls dividing up the open area. I have to go poop I feel, so I leave the group and I go to the public bathroom. It is a fairly large, open indoor area. There are a lot of people there, men and women. There are no stall walls. The "toilets" are all out in the open in the middle of the room and are of a strange form, a little stand made up of a very small cup-like circular receptacle and very thin "wings" extending out to the sides of the cup that are the place you're supposed to "sit" on. I position my butt over the tiny cup area, not even planning to sit but to hover instead, and try to poop. It seems I'm constipated, it's hard to get anything to come out. After trying for a while I stand up and look down and see that I've managed to crap all over my pants which are down around my ankles. The "poop" is bright red which meat-like chunks like ground beef chili. I'm thinking OMG what am I going to do, take it off and wash it and then it'll be wet all day long?

+ walking on city sidewalk at night, I come to a Chinese restaurant/cafe with an older woman proprietor, selling the remains of the day's food just before closing. It looks good so I go in. I'm closely inspecting the food that is left, a few pieces of various different fried foods like shrimp are what I'm mostly looking at selecting. Another customer comes in and makes a move for some of what I'm looking at and I get offended and tell him to back off since I was here first. The woman sounds a "closing time" gong by banging on a ventilation pipe that makes a beautiful chiming sound that echoes through the neighborhood, and I say how lovely it sounds.

+ moving through fields that turns into a city, something to do with mafia running an illegal prescription drug ring. The fields are made up of tall golden grasses like wheat. In the city I'm approaching a tall building on a concrete path/sidewalk.

+ [super long, vivid, nightmare] I'm playing in a concert (I'm the featured first performer) and a piece of my instrument goes missing, ensues a long, emotional/angry search for the missing piece and who moved/took it, the concert begins without me, I meet with my parents in the audience and explain my problem, continue the search, turns out it was my son S2 who was working backstage and when I discover the missing piece in his pocket, I turn away from him in fury and resolve never to have dealings with him again

Journal from 06/23/2023. This is one of my PR dreams that was especially fun!

Since I haven't been journaling my PR much, I'll include some backstory for what's been going on.

I started this particular dream in my territory, which is a dreamed replica of my childhood home (I really should come up with a name for it). The property spans about 2 acres. It's by the coast just outside of an isolated fishing town.

This place is dreary and full of death, guarded by my zombie hoard and packs of wolves. The whole place is surrounded by towering trees, which is where the zombies and wolves usually creep in from.

The home itself is a small two-story shack. The ground floor is half kitchen (with concrete floor), and half garage (which I'm pretty sure is haunted).

Recently, I've decided to put a portal to hell here. It was originally in the field, but I moved it inside the house to be the kitchen to go with my haunted garage (seems only right to have them be side-by-side).

Specifically, I made this a portal to the Helluva Boss universe hell, because that version of hell is fun. I figured it would help liven up the place.

And boy, it worked! Lots of terrifying entities have been coming through my portal ever since I added it, ranging from spicy to downright malicious.

This has resulted in a few lucid nightmares for me, but that's fine—it was my intention to expose myself to nightmares in a controlled environment like this in order to overcome my fears. I used to have a severe fear of demons, ghosts, and other hellish beings... *cough* This was pretty embarrassing and debilitating, since I live a good portion of my life in dream realms as the supposed Lucid Guardian.
What kind of lucid guardian is afraid of ghosts? Bah!
So this is why I've done this to myself, and I've since made breakthroughs because of it. I'm not easy to scare anymore. I can deal with zombies, ghosts, demons, you name it.

Anyway, I was standing in the kitchen looking at my nifty new hell portal. It's invisible now (used to be more noticeable). I can sense its presence, though. When I walk through it, there's no immediate signs that I've entered hell, but very subtle differences in the atmosphere clue me in. I can feel the emptiness in the air and something ominous.
Everything looks like a mirror image of the same location, but it's not the same.

There was a native mortal human visiting my house in this dream. She unknowingly went through my portal, so I followed her through. I crept behind her as a shadow while she wandered outside.

Human girl noticed the dark clouds rolling in and seemed rightly unsettled by the place. The sky was a mixture of ashen clouds and yellow fog lit by distant fires.
I revealed myself to her, telling her that she had stumbled into another realm. With glee, I warned her that she better turn back.... Unless she wanted to brave the demons and animated dead.
Only a fearless soul will survive in a place like this. So which will it be? I gave her the choice to go back, but I'll be honest that it wasn't without provocation. I was having too much fun!
I asked if she'd cave in to cowardice and flee for her life like scared little mortals do, or dance with me?

I drew flames up out of the ground, engulfing my home in a blaze to demonstrate that this was no joke. I began a musical number (yes, like a Disney supervillain!), dancing and singing to a variation of that "It's Tough To Be a God" song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZKE10BQlXY).
It was fun coming up with lyrics on the spot! This was my favorite part of the dream.
Through my own version of the lyrics (I forget the exact details), I conveyed my identity as a dream deity, revealing that her universe was my lucid dream. Isn't the nature of reality frightening?

Stolas (from Helluva Boss) came through my portal during this, so I pulled him into it without skipping a beat. He passively went along with the number as I used him as part of my demonstration to the human of the kinds of hellish beings she'd find here if she stayed.

Right as I was singing about being a dream god, I woke up because my significant other rolled over in bed and slapped me in the face, mumbling in opposition. lmao
She was half asleep. When I told her what she interrupted, she said (jokingly) that somebody had to put a stop to me because I was getting too cocky, and that's why she did it.

The dream god Achilles heel! One second you're singing about having unlimited dream god powers, and next thing you know you disappear because waking up is all part of the gig. That's so annoyingly hilarious! I love it.

I gotta do more of these.

+ buffet, spaghetti, Ash from Kub, lasagne on buffet

+ see Suz Bntn with red hair standing there, looks like her, with her lesbian lover? Screws are falling out of my pocket and I'm picking them up (and putting them in a cup?) outside, daylight, a man walks by and starts helping me?

+ adventure with Sop Grv., swimming in river/ride fighting live alligators, wrestling with them, trying to get away, then we're preparing for an ocean drive, I ask "will we be using SCUBA?" Answer: yes. I say, "OK but this will be my first SCUBA dive," the dive master promptly removes a set of tanks (the one for me) from prep and says "nobody is taking this dive as their first SCUBA" I was nervous about breathing and safety procedures, which I didn't know at all

+ in a room in line waiting to (buy?) or pay for tickets at a theater, someone says "your first time here?" "yeah" "it will take a while", then a guy comes (with a few things to buy?) and cuts in line and I say "how rude for cutting in line, this is not allowed" and he retorts "it's not allowed to be using two chairs" (me and my friend), my friend stands up. We get to the front of the line and then we're asked to review the play, I make some bland generic statement like "it revleas the qualities of the universe", I notice a woman is writing down on a pad everything I'm saying, I say "so you're going to publish my silly review?"

+ in a grocery store, a young man has a cart full of "Splash" drinks, a sort of V-8 tomato vegetable drink, he's bought all of them up and I'm upset because I wanted some, too. I go farther in to the store and see a display and there are some left but in cans not bottles

+ outside some sort of monument, daylight, a historical building, there is a tour group there, I'm sitting inside a covered outdoor structure across the street from the tour group, something falls from the building and rolls to rest at a spot near the road (across from me), and another one, they are small concrete butresses of a female form, (I pick one up and examine it?) we decide to keep these as souvenirs? A man (the leader of our group) sees me sitting there across the street and comes for me saying "I told you not to go there!" I'm defiant and answer something like "Ive been here before and I'll go where I want." A girl in the group is handing out chips and my best friend MR takes a bag and in thanks leans in quickly for a kiss from the gril before she can react, she's embarassed but not angry.

+ I'm looking at my left inner wrist, there is a large red/purple blotch there, it seems I've been bitten or gotten poison oak or something, I'm concerned about it spreading to the rest of my body.

+ outside daylight, gliding, in the air, there are hang gliders taking off from a steep hill, I'm flying DO among them then it's like I'm on one and streaking through the air, descending quickly but with a lot of forward speed, I'm ecstatic at the flying feeling but am then concerned about landing, I'm going so fast and descending so quickly, there is a jumble of images and I'm landed, say "landing was not pleasant," there are guys dressed in marching band uniforms there? SuzBntn is one of the hang gliders?

+ guy playing a concert on an instrument? Then indoors, there is a dance/singing event and the DJ (to my right) is playing strange music? The performers are looking at him funny but they keep performing

+ in a large room with people, seated in rows, one gets up and tries to get me to take some pill, I keep asking "what is it?" they keep saying "here, take it!" It turns out to be an apple juice pill that turns to liquid in my mouth. Some agents enter the room and are demanding certain people, I think they're after our group. One comes up to me and asks me for my (something, sex?) code. I'm not sure what he's talking about. "Oh come on" he says," everybody has one, that's how they (ordered "services"?). I think they're going to take some of my colleagues. Turning to leave the room, there are small beings (like in animal costumes) with a lot of feet on them.