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Disclaimer: This dream journal is about sleep paralysis/demon encounters. I want to clarify that sleep paralysis and intense nightmares like mine aren't normal, nothing about this is normal. I don't recommend that anyone attempt to do this. I've been dealing with SP and demon encounters for over 20 years. It's not something to take lightly or recommend, this is just my own very personal dream life that I'm sharing.

I also want to point out that there's a lot of misinformation in the LD community about LDs causing sleep paralysis, despite how useful LDs are at combatting SP. lucid dreaming didn't cause my SP. Rather, lucidity is the way I've learned how to get out of SP/nightmares and this dream shows how.

Anywho.

As I fell asleep consciously, I felt a demon's claws sinking into my back. Its nails brought an uncanny electrical sensation through my spine, as if a poison was being injected into my spinal cord directly, shooting straight through my nervous system to the rest of my body. This caused waves of pain with occassionally intense spikes, growing more and more intense by the moment. It was dreadful.

The demon was standing behind me (I normally sleep on my side). I don't know if I was paralyzed because I didn't try to move. My goal was to combat this mentally through calm meditation, not physical struggling.

I already know how to break SP with physical movement, and that's not what I wanted to do here. This was a planned encounter. I invited a demon to induce SP.

"This is fine. Keep going." I thought in my mind, wanting the demon to continue as I practiced my mental fortitude to combat the feeling, mentally wrestling with it and pushing it out of my mind. It was overwhelming, but I kept going.

The demon cranked the pain up a tenfold. I started getting severe spikes of pain going through my nervous system every few seconds, increasing in frequency. I stayed calm and still didn't react despite the pain.

I've been inviting this demon to come visit me in my sleep for a few weeks now. Why? Because I'm stagnating, I've exhausted my the resources of my personal dreamwork and I can't figure out how to push myself any other way... I need to grow, I have to keep going. My life is a mess right now and I'm desperate to become stronger so I can deal with it.

The demon stopped after a while, since it wasn't breaking me. I felt its energy fade, and I too was fading into a dreamed version of my bedroom. The color of the walls, lighting, and layout of the house slowly changed in the emergence of the dreamscape. I was still technically my house, just an altered version of it.

I felt an uneasy presence in the room and knew the demon was still standing somewhere nearbby watching me, invisible and waiting.

I decided to walk out into the livingroom. This part I'm not going to share because it's too personal, but one of my insecurities manifested in the next dream scene of loved ones yelling at me, and it quickly snowballed. My calm demeanor slipped as I felt my mind spiral out of control from the insecurities. I was upset. In that moment of clouded thinking, I actually lost my lucidity.

This was not normal. It's rare for me to lose lucidity when I'm upset. This went on for a few minutes before I regained my lucidity. Being upset normally triggers lucidity for me, so I got it back pretty quickly.

I felt the demon laughing at me, though, and realized it did that on purpose. Impressive, I thought, but I was still freaked out. I realized that this demon had found one of my weakness. It couldn't get me with sleep paralysis and pain, so it had (successfully) targeted a psychological weakness instead.

Challenge accepted.

I quickly walked into another room, intending to change the dream scene to get myself out of that negative emotional state. If I could calm down, I could regain control and prevent the demon from weakening me any further.
This was kind of thrilling, I have to admit. I like playing these mental games, and learning from my mistakes.

I suddenly woke up for seemingly no reason, which is unusual for me. I typically always have a reason for waking up, whether because of an alarm, the natural end of a dream, a nightmare, or my own intention to awake... I don't just 'randomly' wake up from my dreams.

So I sat up in bed, unaware that this was a false awakening, which is AGAIN unusual for me. I haven't fallen for an FA in a while, yet this time, I really thought I was awake.

Now nonlucid dreaming, I walked back out into the livingroom and ANOTHER one of my insecurities manifested. Some of my personal embarrassing text messages were revealed to people I didn't want to share them with! Thinking it was really happening, I was mortified. But then I became lucid again (since negative emotions normally trigger lucidity for me) and was incredibly relieved that this embarrassing moment wasn't actually happening.

The demon was laughing at me pretty hard though. I knew it had tricked me into having an FA and being nonlucid.
I suddenly woke up again. The demon was trying it's trick a second time.
"No. Not this time~" I told myself, laughing maniacally.
Fooled me once, shame on me...

I was kind of unsure though, so I did a reality check and it failed. My hands were solid.
Whatever. I don't trust reality checks anyway, so I wasn't nonlucid just yet.
I tried to use dream control next, going to fly upwards towards the wall. Normally my dream control works, but this failed too.

"Huh... " I thought, starting to believe I might actually be awake...
Reality checks and dream control can fail, though, I thought, so I still wasn't fully sold on this being waking reality. I was really thinking hard on this one.
Could still be a dream.
I was determined to not be tricked again and I was pretty sure that my uncertainty meant this was for sure a dream.
What a puzzle.
I normally ALWAYS know when I'm dreaming, so this was... really weird.
The weirdness of it alone made me even more suspicious.

I proceeded to have several more false awakenings, over and over again. Sometimes I knew it was a dream, and other times I wasn't sure, but I felt like the demon was flipping a light switch back and fourth repeatedly trying to break my lucidity.

"Mother-" I cursed and laughed.

Normally I'd be fine continuing this game, it was fun, but I knew I had to get up early in the morning and didn't want my sleep quality to be obliterated tonight (lucidity doesn't affect my sleep quality, but nightmares like this can when they go on for too long).

So I decided I was going to end this by waking myself up.

First, I found an alter for the demon in the dreamscape (which had offerings on it). "Thank you, that was impressive. No hard feelings~" I said to the demon as I destroyed the alter, shoving the whole thing off the table and breaking the artifacts.

Then I woke myself up (for real). I checked the physical reality clock and realized... That whole thing only lasted an hour?!

It felt like 4+ hours had gone by, so I was shocked. This is also unusual of for me, since I've specifically trained myself to not experience time dilation (I don't like when my time perception in dreams doesn't match waking reality).

I reached for the protective pendant I keep on my desk (which keeps demons away, but I had intentionally taken it off before bed as an invitation). It was shoved under my photography lightbox for some reason, kind of wedged under there (not where I put it, but ok). I was going to put it on when I realized the chain was torn off.

This was in waking reality. I searched high and low for the necklace chain. I found the chain on the floor and put my pendant on, did some other protection stuff in the room, and went back to sleep.
Had normal dreams for the rest of the night.

Final note: this dream happened the night before last.

Dream 1

I'm in an operating room about to perform sugery on someone. I position 8 supporting doctors around the patient as well. There is a visualization of a number pad, the patent was represented as the center key "5" and the other doctors are represented as the remaining 8 keys surrounding it.

How 'bout those Chiefs?:
I'm in a hotel room, hiding off to the side by the entrance.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are in bed together 'celebrating' the Superbowl win.
I'm stressed out that I'm going to get caught.
I decide to come out from behind the wall and admit that I don't know how I got here.
There is a tall, regal looking red alien in front of me. There is another off to my left. That one seems to be observing Taylor and Travis.
The aliens are wearing robes, and have mostly human features, minus their elongated heads and red skin color.
They would have fit in with Marvel's depictions of green and blue aliens from Guardians of the Galaxy.
The alien near me says in a deep feminine voice "When you became lucid in your world, you came to our world."
This triggers me to do a nose reality check.
I become lucid...but the dream fades.
...
I false awake and tell my girlfriend about the red aliens.
I've lost lucidity.


The Red Alien.

Nostalgia Band:
I'm in a highschool gym at indoor band practice. I'm a senior who will be graduating soon, so feeling nostalgic.
I walk over to our saxophone cases and join the group. I feel the familiar rush of uncertainty.
Where are we going? What are we doing? Gotta do it fast!
...
I'm with the same group, this time outside. We have our instruments and backpacks.
It's a grassy mountain hike, spiraly.
I see PK, a senior from my 2nd year. He is talking about burying time-capsules for future years.
There are already a lot of time capsules buried in the ground waiting to be opened.
...
We're in a large, cylindrical, dimly lit room now. There are pictures of previous band members along the wall.
My brother's picture gets pointed out. It is his picture from 1st or 2nd grade.

Sunny Day Lucid:
I'm in my childhood neighborhood on a sunny day.
I'm running through the backyards, with the grass being typical vivid dream green.
I have a sense of urgency to get somewhere soon.
There are some horses up ahead, stabled at somebody's house.
I'm on a garden path moving toward them. I try to leave the path to avoid alerting the horses, but I can't.
I eventually pass by them without a problem.
I stop and stand still, realizing that my childhood neighborhood and sunny days are some of my top dreamsigns.
I perform a nose reality check and I can breathe.
I check my hands and I have 4 fingers and a thumb. That's strange, shouldn't they be off in a dream?
I keep checking my finger and nose, and eventually conclude that I must be dreaming.
I try to summon somebody, but it doesn't work.
I feel the dream start to fade.

‎
Dream 1

I'm running on roads that are just on the outskirts of a city with plenty of trees around. I am running very fast in a sonic the hedgehog kind of way, with a blur trailing behind me. I don't have a shirt on. I notice something on the ground and stop just before I step on it. It's a rusty shovel, but just the spade part and no handle. A woman is walking by in a skirt suit, she takes notice of my situation with a glance and continues on her way.

I pick up the rusty shovel head and notice there's a recycling bin on the other side of the road so I walk over to it and toss it in. But then I hear things sort of scraping against the pavement. I turn around to see that all of these pieces of recyclable materials are slowly sliding towards me.

As each piece reaches me I pick them up and put them in the bin. So many random things were coming out from the woods across the street. I thought ‘If I stay here much longer this will become my full time job’



Dream 2

Violet and I are talking as we are arranging furniture/pictures etc in a house. I don’t know if we’re moving in or out or just making adjustments to the place.

As we’re doing this we’re having a genuine conversation about our thoughts of each other and reflecting on different traits we have. It felt like this was us meeting in an afterlife, there was no pressure or expectations. It felt light and easy.

I was in a crowd of people, there were two in the center doing something I couldn't quite see. Some guy with uncannilly cubed teeth blocks my view and asks me what I think of the tournament. I tell him I have no idea what they're doing. I feel a pain on the bottom of my foot, he is pinching it with a single chopstick. He then lets go and gives me a pair and tells me nobody will suspect they're weapons.

I am walking down a hall littered with boxes, mostly popsicle boxes. I kind of want to eat one, but I don't.

‎

Notable day substances: No caffeine

My recall has been pretty poor the past few days.



Dream 1

This dream is really fuzzy but I was walking in a large mall with a friend and I was putting clothes on or something, like I wasn't wearing much initially or something. It was very lightly raining in there.



Dream 2

I'm in a special education class and with some sort of mental disability. I'm wearing shoes with no socks on. Everyone ends up going home, including the teacher, except me and two other students.

Tami is one of the students and she's frusterated with a book she's reading. It seems like the entire lower third of the book was cut clean off and then another copy of the book was glued back on there. So near the bottom third of each page there would be a line of text that would be difficult to read because of that.

There's a bowl of pop rocks, but they're way finer than actual pop rocks - almost like sand. I keep putting it in my mouth and like the popping effects.

I text the teacher if we should wait for her or if I should take the other students home. I receive a text back that just says "I'm trying a lot to leave this lot."

I dreamed that I was in my room, sitting on my bed. It wasn't quite my room, but the bed was pretty spot on including the headboard. In the dream I had a stuffed animal that resembled a tailless Aipom. I hated it, because every time I looked at it, the eyes were looking in a different direction, or it was even leaning to a different side. I decided that it was going to go in a bag and into the car and straight to Goodwill tomorrow. No leaving bags of stuff in the trunk for days before donating them, it was GOING.

But then I was at least a little aware of dreaming, because I thought to myself that I couldn't really get rid of it, because I didn't really own it, not in real life. I thought about the items on my own headboard, just few decorations and definitely not that thing. So I laid down and tried to sleep. I actually felt the doll climb down from the headboard and gently pull my hair, several inches of it. And that's what did it for me.

I have a buzz cut. You can't pull my hair. Once I acknowledged that that wasn't real, the dream shifted.

I was on the deck, tending to plants. A loud car drove by, one of the ones modified to make more noise and whose owner probably did donuts in parking lots to show off. He slowed and stopped, seeming to look right at me. Then he stuck his hand out the window, holding a gun, and fired three times at me. He missed all three times and I ran. He seemed like he hadn't really cared about hitting me and just messing around.

The dream changed again. A recurring thing in my dreams is going out to the backyard to tend to my dogs, who died almost a decade ago. I realized again that I was dreaming and wondered if I stopped tending to the dream dogs if they'd go away and I'd stop dreaming about them. Like just no longer watering a plant you don't want anymore.

Fragment:
I'm backstage somewhere with my girlfriend's parents.
They might have been disappointed with me.

I was at some sort of event, I was at a counter where blocky things that vaguely resembled SNES's were being sold. They had purple, black, and blue. I was disappointed there was no orange, so I grabbed a blue and started walking away.

I was in my father's truck, he had told me to pick up some burgers or something. I had to pull up the seat and adjust the height because he's the size of a gorilla, anyways I back up, and speed around a small gas station like building with a burger king sign. I park outside and enter, there's some chairs and a table. I end up in a grocery store like section. There's some lettuce and a couple tomato slices just sitting on the shelf. I think it's convenient and take a couple bites, its messy as hell and I am somehow covered head to toe in juice. I toss my clothes on the floor and walk into the clothing section, I'm hoping the employees don't catch me naked, so I steal a pair of camouflage pajama pants and struggle to put them on.

Me and some other guy are eaten by some giant monster, there is a room inside it, I catch one of the several strings attached to the ceiling and watch his shoe disappear into the darkness below. I see 3 doors, one has a green sign above it which says exit. Another has a red exit sign, and the last one has a blue sign above it which says not exit. I swing across the strings like a monkey until I reach the red door. I open in, and I get a view of a parking lot and some bushes. I'm about 10 feet off the ground, but I think the bushes will help break my fall a bit. I jump into them and miss a little bit, my butt slams into the asphalt, and my shoulders land in the bushes. I get up and start walking around [COLOR="#0088000"]I think the fall should have hurt a bit more, I remember that I wanted to steal a car. I see a maroon one with the door wide open, I'm about to hop in, but I think that they left their door open for me, so it doesn't count as stealing. I find a nice white one and try to phase through the door. I fail, so I just open it. I tell myself that it doesn't need keys to work so I don't have to look for them. I examine it a bit, where the radio should be, there's a blue button with a G on it. In the back seat there's a small instrument which looks like a ukulele, but the body's square, and it lacks a sound hole. I pull it out, and pluck a string as I run my finger up the fretboard. It has 7 frets and a higher sound than a uke. I toss it back, and push the brake and G. The car starts, I slam the gas to the floor and swerve right. There's a small group of people and one of them is in my way, unfortunately he dodges just in time. I remember that I was supposed to get something from the gas station, I leave the lot, and go down an empty highway with several curves and a bunch of tan walls around me. I end up is some other building, there's a small crowd, and in the center there's an old lady making her crusty white dog stand on an upside down metal bucket while she showers him with a hose. Some other lady is squatting a foot away acting like it's the cutest thing she's ever seen while the water runs off the bucket and soaks the carpet under her shoes. I go have a closer look, and I sit on the carpet, the old lady asks me how I feel about her dog. I'm trying to think of a response, when my father comes out of nowhere and asks me to give my mother's shorts back. [/COLOR]

Some people have messaged me and/or left comments asking "Who is Jamie?" I understand my journal entries must seem like the ravings of a madman, I can assure you, I consider it a possibility every single day. Jamie is someone I use to work with in 2011, We were friends (the vocal pretext we had both agreed upon- the subtext however... slightly different story). Long complicated story I'm not going into. to the layman, (Someone who is completely atheist and is a scoffer at anything spiritual, or having anything like a god in the universe, supernatural, paranormal. etc) I suffer from a bizarre form of Limerence, and "Spiritual psychosis", and Jamie is the Idealized object of this. In more spiritual terms it is also known as "Twin Flame," or "Alien Love bite", Neither term I agree with, however I have read experiences from many people that I can relate to ( I watched a long youtube of a panel of people from the ALB community and listened to a couple explain how they were having mutual or shared dreams). Scoffers will scoff, fine. I define it simply as: Seemingly paranormal facilitation and interference in human relationships. There's also a psychosis in the mix as well, BPD, Both of us have levels of such a disorder. In my case I love bomb someone who shows interest in me and when I feel they are going to abandon me, I promptly dump them or cut them out of my life, and then horrifyingly try to "Win them back,". I was not even aware of this "Cycle," until I met Jamie and analyzed our friendship years later, and reading what BPD is.

Years after, the "Discarding" of one another. I began experiencing paranormal events all over again. Seeing annoying "Angel signs," regarding her. As well as a sudden influx of dreams about her. I have a long history on this forum being able to share dreams with people. And i Still experience this to this day, the sharing of dreams. I began to wonder if it was a possibility, that we were somehow reaching one another in dreams. Such phenomena increased with such intensity (and things jamie was doing and saying in dreams) It became such a great concern to me that I was compelled to send her a handful of messages over a period of a few months. I told her from as many angles as I could what stuff I was experiencing. Just being open and relaying messages that I had learned. After the first message, In the dreams of her, she began to first act repulsed by me in the dreams and then began to be more okay with it. And after my last long explanatory message the dream her seemed fine. I did relay in my message that this dream journal exists, and that she can read it. These dream journals have a subscribe button, (I don't get notified of subscribers) and such people get an email every time I post an entry. It's likely I gave her a link to my dream journal when we were friends in 2011, and she has been subscribed since then. Or a few years ago she did. I'm not going to speculate. But it definitely seems like she reads my dream journal and then in later dreams she will react to what I dreamed about. She has never messaged me back however, But did mark my message as, "Read." sometimes she would leave a message, "Unread" So I take it as a sign of minimal respect for my efforts. In the end she has a disorder, where various people are discarded, and most of those people will never be in touch again. so no, I am not expecting a message back, or for her to be friends again. We both have some severe emotional problems that would probably end in complete disaster, or worse, all over again, if not handled EXTREMELY carefully.

Unfortunately, I have had to move back to the area where I met her. and it's possible I may have run into her when I first arrived here, at a convenience store. The person, had to turn around and leave the store, after their purchase and I was standing in. She didn't look me in the eye at all, seemed slightly aware that it was me. but looked really pissed or at least annoyed that I was there. I was not surprised at this reaction at all, I even expected it, given what I know about the disorder. and then a few times over a few months. she had driven by me at least once or twice and was stealing glances at me. No, I don't imagine she is stalking me. This IS a series of small towns where you are bound to run into anyone you ever known in this area at any given day.

This journal then is for Jamie to read as she sees fit. As long as I dream about her, I will keep posting entries.

Dreams

1. Jamie, is tied to a wall in a hotel room... she is naked. and some guy is standing near her. He had glasses, hair poorly bleached with brown hair at the part.

that's all I remember. I wake up and The voice says,, "Why was I naked?"

2. I dream my dog is getting really angry at me because I am playing with a cat. His mouth looked really strange and scary.

3. I was in bed with someone, But it was this other girl, from Wal-mart. She is pregnant I start kissing her and she kisses me back. A strange thought of doubt runs through my head.

I wake up. and fall back asleep.

Note: it seems the past few weeks, I have been unable to meet Jamie in the dreams lately just have dreams about her. We both seem to have been dreaming about people who are "Distractions". The goal: to prevent us dreaming the same dream. I will pray and/or meditate on this.

‎

Notable day supplements: No caffeine

I didn't put very much effort into recalling my dreams last night, I guess I've gotten used to them coming to me fairly easily and thought I wouldn't have to try as hard. Turns out effort is still required, I didn't recall that much.



Dream 1 - Fragment

In my dream, I wake up in bed (different than my IWL bedroom). I feel kind of odd so I glance at my watch and see that my heart rate is fluctuating between 5 and 10 bpm. I'm alarmed but I try to really freak myself out to get my adrenaline going, which works and my heart rate goes up to normal.*



Dream 2 - Fragment

I'm flying FPV, but instead of flying the drone I have it's sort of a hybrid between two different models. I like its power balance and agility, I think I'm flying over the ocean at one point.



Dream 3 - Fragment

I'm with two girls and we need to drive somewhere fast, but we won't make it in time. They say that we should try flying. I say 'Wait, we can fly here?' and one of them says 'Yeah, but it's really difficult. You just have to 100% believe that you can fly'. One of the girls can slightly hover, but the other one and myself are struggling.



* This dream was triggered by a reddit post I read just a few days ago where someone's heart rate dropped down to 10bpm.

Sneaky Crabs:
I'm at a party at somebody's apartment, sitting at a desk with a laptop in front of me.
My coworker J from the lab is here. I noticed that I'm not wearing pants and feel nervous.
...
I'm at my second Arizona apartment, and there is a group crowded around the TV playing a game.
I watch the screen for a bit. It is a dark area, with tiny crab monsters all around.
The player needs to navigate a dark pathway forward while avoiding the crabs.
I brag that it looks easy. Somebody calls my bluff and hands me a strange controller.

Fragment:
Something about my coworker G.

Fragment:
A nightmare about shitting my pants.

The Zoomies:
I'm at my friend D's apartment. He is holding a large chonker of a cat, and is about to weigh it on a scale.
He has a boyfriend that walks out of their bedroom. I don't recognize him, but I'm happy for D.
I smell something like a fish smell.
...
I'm at a Coney Island diner with some people.
We're talking about how times have changed, how the last generation "had it simpler."
There is some discussion about time-travel.
I ask my brother nearby if he can smell fish on my breath.
He says that it smells fine.
...
I'm at my current home with my girlfriend. We're cleaning up the house.
Parts of the house are torn apart, with walls revealed that generally are covered up by furniture.
There is some discussion about a concert with my friend M.
...
I'm in the front driveway area, but there is an overhang with a carport.
I'm surprised to see that my Grandma P is coming to visit.
She's parked in a large SUV and waiting for me to come say hi.
But when I approach, her and the car are gone. Her voice is now coming out of a PA system connected to the carport.
She directs me to pickup a nearby hose, and try to control the jet setting on it with my mind.
I successfully do this, controlling the water flow.
...
I'm at a park on a sunny day. There is a field of grass and several small ponds up ahead.
We have a golden retriever/australian shepherd that looks about a year old.
It is running around so fast that it makes airplane-like noises as it passes us.
The grass deforms strangely as the dog moves over it.
For some reason, I make the estimate that it is running around 30MPH.
I worry that the dog will go into one of the ponds and get dirty.
So naturally, it does. The dog is now covered in mud and looks excited about it.


Big Fast! Much Zoom!

I was on the top floor of some sort of indoor skyscraper. There was a sign with rules for people who wanted to go down, so I barley glanced at it and started walking down the stairs. I walk down a flight, everything's hunky dory until I start going down this one section, and one of the stairs crumples under my weight. I lose my balance for a second, but I'm holding onto the rail, so I step onto the trim that's on the wall, and make my way down like that. I turn around, and see Santa Claus stepping out of a square shaped hole in the wall. He looks at me and asks "Why didn't you follow the rules?" 'I didn't even look at them.' was the best response I could think of. He walks away like he's disappointed in me.