lucid

I was in my bedroom, lying on my bed, and a friend of mine was lying on my sister's bed. We were in a zombie apocalypse. There was one sitting down and leaning on the wall, but it didn't see us, so I told my friend we should rest, because we had found a safe spot. She was pointing a gun at its head and I tried to convince her not to shoot it, because the sound would only draw more zombies. She listened and we tried to rest.

During a few moments of peace I had, I thought of how frustrating it was to be in the apocalypse, because there was no way of escaping. Then, it hit me all of a sudden: "wait, but I can escape this, because this is a dream. There is no zombie apocalypse in waking life. This is just a series of recurring dreams I'm having about zombies and I can end it now". Then, I looked at my hands to do a RC. I thought I had to see more than five fingers in each hand. At first sight, I could only see five, but when I checked again I saw six or seven in my left hand and about eleven in the right hand. I got up of the bed and saw Michelle Knight (I don't know why it was her) standing there. She wasn't exactly a zombie, but looked scary. I knew I had to talk to her, she was like the embodiment of the bad feelings of the dream. As calmly as I could, I said to her: "why do we hurt each other? Why can't we just get along?" Her complexion changed at once. Suddenly, she looked calm, her skin was soft and she looked at me intently with big bright beautiful blue eyes. At the same time, all feelings of fear and frustration vanished. I walked around the room, admiring the vividness. I would say this is the most real dream I've ever had.

Then, I got out of the bedroom. There was no apocalypse anymore. I went down some escalators and, as I did, I imagined the neuronal pathways involved in lucid dreaming getting stronger the longer the dream lasted (sorry, I know this is weird ). But also, I thought (and it was a big mistake) that if the dream lasted for too long, I would forget about the details, but I didn't want to wake up yet.

Eventually, I made it to a playground. I sat down on a thin mattress to think of what to do next. I thought it'd be a good idea to make some affirmations to myself. I made two: the first one I can't remember and in the second one I asked to become lucid more often. We'll see if this last one has an effect.

Finally, someone called my attention from inside a car and the dream finished.

#352 - WILD - 6:32AM

I don't recall the start maybe it was just a really smooth WILD but I am having lucid sex with my wife. I'm really enjoying myself but at some point I worry that I am making humping motions in bed.

I have an FA where I am doing just that on all fours. To my relief my wife is asleep and only stirs a bit. I lay back down to DEILD and make some really weird moaning noises. Then theres the sound of someone in the bathroom and I know this is all wrong. I quickly realize that I am still dreaming.

I get up quickly making my way into the living-room. I recall my goal to attack the enemy in a pillow fight. I am in my daughter's room now so I take a pillow from the empty bed.The first one that comes to mind is OneUpBoy71. I search the house calling out for him but no one is there. I remember that I heard a noise in the bathroom so I go check that out.

The door is locked so I kick it down. The air is hot and humid and I hear the sound of the shower going. I open the shower to find him standing there naked. I immediately start hitting him in the head with the pillow. He runs away into the next bedroom with a huge grin.

Laughing, and doing my best to not look at his nakedness, I chase after him into the next room. He stops not sure where to go and I whack him in the side of the head. I get curious about my accuracy of DC oneup's appearance and focus on this face. It's too blurry and undefined but he seems to be a teenager with longish hair that changes color from blond, to brown, to black.

Oneup darts into the closet and I decide that I have had enough chasing a naked dude around my house. As I turn to walk away, I laugh and say "Alright dude, get some damn clothes on. Shit."

With pillow still in hand, I decide to look for the next person on team McCoy. StephL comes to mind and I head outside to find her.

When the night time air hits me if feels unseasonably cold. I comment in this as I step into the yard. Its way too dark and I'm not up to fighting for some light. I consider going back in, then stop. No, Ill go ahead and do some dream control. Mass TK... But all I have is this pillow. I throw it up and make hand gestures to make it float around. I flick my wrist and let the pillow fly off into the next two yards and into the next block. I watch the pillow unfurl into a blanket and gently float to the ground. I start go ahead and walk back inside but the dream goes black and I wake up.

#351 - WILD - 5:49AM

I have a smooth WILD from HI. I notice that I am working at my job with my normal coworkers. I take a chance and run forward hoping the dream was deep enough. After a second of running around I feel stable enough to continue. I go ahead and clap for further stabilization but my arms feel weak again. I'm looking for an enemy team member to fight but the more I progress the more the dream start emptying itself of major elements. First all my co-workers vanish and next large equipment and workstations until the plant is mostly empty. The hallways are now covered with blue tarps that drop from the ceiling. I still believe I can make something of this dream but my vision fades and I wake up.

#350 - WILD - 3:44AM

I WILD and enter SP. I spend some time there in the vibrations and make my exit. Its really dark in the house so I try light switches but its no good. I'm beginning to feel some irrational fear with slight panic rising. I swallow it down. I wake up.

DEILD back into SP..

Several trippy things happen here and I'm probably forgetting some parts and order of things.

I pull my galaxy player out to try to test if I can create light. Its not really lighting the room but I have a white screen. I get experimental and try bringing it close to my face. My vision whites out and vibrations increase the closer I move it and decreases the farther away I go.

Suddenly, my galaxy player creates a strobe light effect and the ghost from Occulus appears over me screeching. I have no fear and I calmly dismiss it. I fades away. I hear my wife starting to mumble something so I hit her with the galaxy player. I don't know why but I want to really hit her so I take the GP and hit her even harder. Theres no response. I pull something else out from under the pillow. This time it feels like a plastic clothes hanger. I hit her with that.

My son appears on the bed laying in a strange position on the bed. I say something to him and tickle his feet. I feel like my arms are super heavy and can barely move. My son crawls down from the bed and I hear him stomping away into the bathroom.

I think of my wife again roll over top of her. She doesn't really seem to notice me and continues to sleep soundly. I think of maybe creating some sexy time but decide I wont get many points like this for the competition.

I roll back over and notice the vibrations have stopped. I quickly get up and enter the living room. This time its brightly lit and theres a strange calico cat running around crazily.

I want to nail down my 3 step tasks so the first thing I do is go for number 1, use electronic device. I reach for my cell phone, but first I don't feel it in my pocket. I try to fake it anyway. My hand come up empty. I try again but this time I really believe thinking of how it will feel in my hand. There some strange sensation of my hand bonding to my clothes then I feel the phone. I quickly yank it out and examine it. I am surprised how vivid and realistic it looks. I try to unlock the screen but its like its dead and the screen wont light up. There is glare from the lights and I squint to see. Now it looks like my night mode is on and I can bare see in all this light. I try turning it off but the app will not respond. I catch my reflection in the screen. One eye is a normal blue the other a super light blue. I look back at the first eye and now I notice I strange mechanical pattern in the pupil. My DC self starts making funny faces at me that I not doing; he has a life of his own. I decide Ive completed the task enough and look away.

Now I turn* my attention to task 2, time control. I spot the cat wondering around and with the phone in my hand, try to use it as a remote to pause time. It doesn't work. Now I focus more intensely. I recall my old lucids that were triggered from watching Heroes. Hiro Nakamura was able to control space and time with thought and I was often able to do the same. I clap my hands together Full Metal Alchemist style and focus stopping time. The cat pauses in mid stride but something strange happens. The cat now looks like a hologram;* ghostly and insubstantial. I let out a whoa in surprise as I get on my* hands and knees for a closer look. I try to pet the cat but my hand passes right through. My mind tries to explain this by thinking is some* effect of existing on two overlapping time lines. Whatever. Satisfied,* I move on.

Now its time for task 3, full transformation. I step outside on the front porch and let out a hulk roar into the night. My feel my body grow taller and my muscles bulge to massive proportions. I reach up at the awing of the roof with huge green hands. Still roaring a guttural cry, I crush the wood like its made of thin wafers. I go blind now and decide its time to let the dream go.

I think I will use StephL's method to bold competition points so that it is easier for me to add them up.

8/3/14** pre-bed lazily ask my subconscious to look out for any of my dreams signs and I guess one dream sign was part of my first LD and quite a few dream signs were part of my second LD. Several theories worked on tonight: startle induced, clenched eyes vibrations telling me how close I am to sleep, sex IWL and LDs, more simple dream sign alertness. / touring a home converted from a funeral home (casket showcase area looked odd converted - like two odd wings near the entrance. we hurry through like Halloween maze. I joke that I saw something move...then there was...was security in few spots. Last room had a line to next section or home maybe 15 people not bad. / price of corn syrup at a big discount (political/economic/health statement?) / ~30 minute wbtb.. DILD#1 someone won a lot of money and gave me a stack of money(money/treasure dream sign). I look the gift horse in the mouth and this seems to be a good thing for catching signs that you are dreaming. I flip through it and see not all big bills like top one. $300 total I seem to determine. I see a $30 bill! (no such thing in US currency) Aha! I'm dreaming. I will explore this. One bill changes the color picture scene (no unlike NZ dollars) on it each time I look at it, very cool (could possibly fit the photoshop TOTM - BUT not specifically thinking of that). One was a mountain scene, another a forest scene, and then a futuristic city scene. Then I look at signatures that show on US currency. Wife's maiden name was part of name, first name Robert I think, not far from her father's name. I look again...completely different name and it is harder to read and in cursive and I wonder for a second if it is one of the actual names that shows on US currency. Very cool, but goal time! But I get an FA where I am crawling to foot of my bed where phone is charging to record dream but then wake for real. / shorter wbtb the 2nd time, back to sleep with mantra. Too long, shorten it to "vivid..... lucid"...lots of old houses try to find right one (that is our home). Armless monkey looked to be hanging from a poll thingy but closer examination reveals wood carved arms and hands and the monkey attached some other way. he bites me kind of hard and is now loose on the ground.. Warn the monkey that I will have to hurt it if it does that again. Also around house is a temperature box that maintains hot or cold either way - 2 pizzas inside..feel heat from it (I used to have a tiny mini-fridge that also doubled as a food warmer, so there is such a thing). / 2 section amusement park. Sit and wait for a group of four to leave so we can enter the other section (done when full/busy). Lady/worker says you can go in now...stuck in crowded midway area. Watch (son) so he doesn't get crushed. He's younger? / D back already? hmm.. crayfish / dild 2: dreams signs: taking wrong turn/driving, vehicle out of control, parking lot, boldness, security or police, on trip. Although I only got two steps of my longer plan done I was able to mix in some other points. I had planned to also get to step 3 and an attempt at a task of the year and my personal goal (those last two are planned to transition smoothly and quickly between) if I had an epic long LD. But pretty darn good and my best night of the competition so far. Hopefully not too late to get going here. Driving with son in a truck. We take a wrong turn and the truck is going fast and a little bit out of control and my son is concerned. I am NOT concerned and I feel as if I'm already semi lucid at this point, possibly due to a couple of dream signs showing up already. The road becomes a parking lot without driving the truck into the parking lot. The road leads incredulously to some stairs into the mall and I am bold and drive right on down the stairs realizing completely that I'm dreaming now. We get to the bottom of the stairs and get out of the truck and there is a security guard or mall cop and I use my trusty pocket watch to freeze time (&step 1 and Lucid challenge) on him. (I have only used it once before to freeze time specifically but I say I "trusty" because I try to use it to stabilize my dream from the beginning and almost always use it at the beginning of my extended RCs in waking life practice.) I examine the guard a little bit and his uniform looks a little cartoonish and unrealistic. My son says what if you get arrested? I say no worries this is my dream I can make sure I do not get caught but then I start thinking that I guess it is possible to get caught in a lucid dream. It could cause some challenges and I would just have to escape. Sure enough handcuffs appeared on my wrists. My hands are out in front of me. I blast my wrists apart from each other in a feat of super strength and I feel exhilarated! I fly up in this mall and decide to do step 2&mass telekinesis. My first attempt moved a few things rolling forward like a good gust of wind pushing them but not impressive. So I reached back and pushed my hands out in a big shoving motion down towards floor and many things(trash can, stroller, unidentified items) and the entire floor were slammed forward revealing dirt below. The scene goes dark and I remain patient like I have been doing lately. I feel myself laying back in bed but it still feels quite dreamlike and I remain still and patient and I hear couple of knocks to the left of my bed. I decide to do the glottal motionless RC. It is not conclusive it sounds kind of like what it would sound like in waking life if I am not doing it properly. I do the one where I clench my eyes, normally to nudge on the vibrations, and the vibrations are strong which I take to indicate that I'm still quite firmly in dreamland. And my wife starts to move but I assume that it is part of my common false awakenings. I roll over and I can feel that I'm still dreaming and fool around with my wife a little bit . I then start to wake up for real at least partially I think. Perhaps mostly awake this time but I do the clenched eyes again and the vibrations are much lighter but still noticeable like I have found many times when I'm starting to wake up or at the early stages of going to sleep. I find this fascinating and feel as if I discovered an important factor within my transition in and out of dreamland. I will have to experiment some more but basically after a while trying to go back into a dream my bladder got the best of me and I had to get up to urinate and when I came back and lay down I couldn't get any light vibrations at all from clenching my eyes softly or mentally, seeming to confirm that this is a way to indicate closeness to sleep along with heavy vibrations indicating fully asleep or at least at the doorstep of REM sleep. I think that I read someone else mentioning something very similar here on DV.

This lucid is from the morning of August 1st.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #226: Bum Steer

I’m driving on a long, tree-lined road when I remember that I was hoping to have a lucid dream. I become lucid and just sit still for a moment, still driving as the dream continues just as it did before. I have this slightly paranoid feeling like the dream is going to “catch me”, but nothing happens.

I settle in to driving for a bit, thinking about what I want to do, feeling pleased with how smoothly the transition to lucidity went. I come to a rightward curve in the road and turn the wheel, but the car refuses to follow my instructions. I crank the steering wheel hard over to the right but nothing is working. The left front tire grinds along the curb for a while, the car shudders, and after a few seconds, I’m thrown into the void.

I rub my hands together and try to move my legs in a walking motion. It sort of works but I’m not feeling proper resistance in my feet and I have the sensation of my legs flailing around. It feels like this is going too long and I recall how Dreamer used flight when her dream went dark. I take to the air and fly around for a bit, the sensation partway between flying and falling. I finally remember that I have had good luck singing when I fly through the dark.

But before I even have to do any singing, I find myself flying high over a city. There are two tall, ruby-red buildings below me that are shaped like stretched out hexagon. As I look at them, an unseen voice gives me some kind of garbled warning about “balls” and the dream ends.

Notes: Given the theme, It’s interesting (well, to me at least) that during the day I was implementing the character-steering code for our video game project. Maybe I’m a little anxious about how well it’s going to work.

I feel like most of the lucidity pegs were in the holes last night . . . not sure what I was missing, really. Maybe my awareness was low. I have been trying to up that a bit today . . . .

(??): I awake with the distinct impression that I had just been lucid! Unfortunately, not a single memory. Not sure what awoke me either--maybe just the autosuggestion I give myself to wake up and remember stuff! I take it as a good omen, though, and go back to sleep . . .

5:44 AM: I am in a movie theater with my wife and mom. Mom asks my wife why I keep pinching my nose (!). My wife explains to her that I'm "testing reality" and then my mom begins to pester me about RCing. I yell at her while walking down the hallways toward the movie. I ask her if she would rather spend the evening alone, and threaten to sit in the car for the rest of the night if she doesn't put a sock in it. She somehow transforms into one of my professors from college. He wanders down the hallway lamenting, "Literature!" as though I had turned my back on it forever.

My wife and I stop in front of a movie poster. It has black and green detail -- similar to night-vision goggles -- and is about lucid dreaming. She asks if I want to see it and I realize I have wanted to see it for some time. I check the run time (134 minutes!) and then check my watch (!). I realize we will not be out until very late. I am suddenly not so keen. Wife wants to stay now, however. She shows me where our theater screen will be. We will not be sitting in the main theater, but out in the hallway. Our screens are in front of us, to the left, and above us, to the left. She indicates them with a laser pointer, and a little smiley face appears where she points it. She tells me "This is a good thing," indicating the seats. Our view is obstructed by other movie goers. I tell her this is not a good thing and that we have terrible seats. We end up staying. Before the movie starts, we are asked to stand and clap our hands and sing to some music. My wife joins in with everyone. I just stand there because I don't want to sing.

(??): I am walking down a sidewalk and I realize I am dreaming. I also can distinctly feel the vagueness of the dream world. This is not a visual-quality issue, but more of a "this is a very unstable experience." Probably due to being fairly awake while trying to LD. I observe the dreamscape and allow the action to move of its own accord. I continue to mosey along, and then enter a shop to my left through a glass door. The shopkeeper or cashier is positioned behind a counter to my right. She sees me and my NL body attempts to walk past her; I choose to smile at her as I pass. As I make it to the back of the shop, I decide to test stability at this point. I feel that if I can just manage some concrete physical action, then the dream will be good to go. I nose pinch. I of course can breathe but this destabilizes the dream and I wake up, breathing deeply. Really a great time to DEILD, but I wasn't able to pull it off. Think REM needs to be a little more strongly asserted to get there!

This dream took place in the mountains. My sister was there even though I haven't seen her in about a year. I was exploring the outside a little bit with her when I found these golden coins hidden in the dirt. They had the names Joshua and Jordan on them. I was putting them into my pocket when I spotted a cotton swab that had been freshly unearthed. My sister's face got all distorted and her eyes widened. She said to me, "Don't disturb that! It is evil O_O...It will be bring bad luck to all women you know". So I covered it back up with dirt and we went back inside. My dad was there with a couple of his mountain buddies. I sat down with them. One guy was telling a really long, boring story when guy #2 interrupted him and started telling his own but with a more animated and charismatic voice. Guy #1 was offended and just kept talking louder, so guy #2 talked even louder. They kept going on in this manner for a couple minutes before I got up and left for my room upstairs.When I got into my room I saw an active blowtorch hanging on a patch of wall that had been charred black. I muttered to myself, "that can't be very safe" so I picked it up and turned it off. Nothing exciting. Woke up

In this dream, I was working for Gordon Ramsay but I realized that he was pure evil and he was cooking evil weapons to control the minds of the public. I remember he had a vortex beneath his kitchen. But I didn't fight him, I just worked on solving these complex physics equations with another chef. I will call this other chef.....John! I had just about solved an equation explaining the seemingly chaotic behavior of neutrons? or neutrinos? I don't know I think it changed between the two a couple of times. But then here comes John with his genius mind telling me that the reason for the anomaly was because there was an opposite particle that wasn't being accounted for. He added these entire other terms to the equation and I was pretty skeptical. He told me that he had won 100$!!!! for submitting this idea and I thought, OKAY you must be right then. Then my dad came out of nowhere and started about Gaussian neutrino distribution and stuff I've never heard of and that these things had been known for a long time and just not accepted because there was no way to prove anything.

Then I noticed my sister! hanging out next to me. I asked her what she was doing here, and she said to me, "I lost my job so I came back early". This made me sad but I was glad to see her.

NEXT DREAM. I only remember being in a hallway, staring out a window, when I realized that I was dreaming. I was about to walk through the window when I woke up.

another dream. This time I was on a navy vessel, traveling to a small country in Asia. I was hanging out with this gay girl and we were having a good time but she was really lonely because she hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time, so I decided to help her find one. We went all over the place talking to different girls until eventually she met eyes with another and the connection was seen. So I left them alone to talk and went over to the stern. We had arrived and there was a dock maybe 30 feet away from us. There were beautiful, naked, bronze women laying out in the sun, enjoying their weekend. I was about to jump off the ship and swim over to them when I noticed these crocodiles everywhere. One of them jumped up and bit off part of my toe somehow. Didn't hurt but I just thought, damn, another scar.

There was also a fragment where I was in an arena throwing fireballs.

Ritual: Went to bed 1am, woke at 2, too early to do anything, woke again at 5:40 with fresh NLD, so forced myself to get up and do a proper WBTB. Returned to bed at 6:15, did hybrid of SSILD and counting, but kept getting disturbed by environmental factors. Hard to sleep, eventually dozed off without awareness, finally woke at 7:20 and declared it a failed attempt. I could still squeeze in another hour of sleep though so I figured I'd just try FILD as a last resort.

After this things get confusing. My best guess is that I did FILD, then fell asleep and into a NLD, then... I woke up, or thought I did (might have been an FA), and did FILD again (possibly in the dream state). Then I noticed that my arm was lying free on the bed rather than tucked under my pillow as usual, so I thought, "Fine, I'll do the stupid nose pinch RC," and what do you know, I could breathe! So I knew I was dreaming, but I was very perplexed. I had just been doing FILD and hadn't observed any kind of transition or even a momentary lapse of awareness in which the transition could have occurred. How could I have fallen asleep and not realized it? In retrospect, I really do think that this started as an FA that I mistook for a real waking, so I did FILD without realizing that I was already dreaming. Hey, whatever works.

So I sat up, and immediately became more perplexed. I was in a bed, but it was not the one I had gone to sleep in, and the bedroom also bore no resemblance to mine in RL. I got up and started looking around, but then I realized that I recognized the place after all: hadn't I been having a non-lucid dream here, just before I woke up and tried that FILD attempt? (This also argues for the FILD-during-FA hypothesis, and it wouldn't be the first time I've had a "WILD" that was initiated from within an ongoing dream—a DIWILD?)

This is hard to confirm because I always have a hard time putting dream events in their proper sequence, but there were events I remembered taking place in this building that don't seem lucid and don't fit into my memory of the lucid episode, so I think that must be what happened. That is, all the previous events took place downstairs, but the entire lucid sequence took place upstairs in what I took to be the same house.

NLD: Earlier when I was downstairs, there had been some complicated narrative I don't recall, but it resulted in me opening the front door several times to let cats into the house. At one point there was a really big one, an orange tabby, both large-bodied and very plump. When I saw him sitting on the doorstep I thought he was the biggest cat I'd ever seen, and I invited him in and closed the door. But there had been two or three other orange tabbies of normal size sitting with him, so I relented and opened the door again to let them in too. "Okay, fine, we'll just let them all in." I knew we didn't have room for them all, but figured it wouldn't be fair to turn them away after I'd already let in others. We could sort it out later.

After this I stood in the entry and watched the extra-big cat ambling away down the hall. Now it was even larger than it had seemed at first, with a lean, bony frame that was not at all cat-like. In fact, I thought I recognized what it was, and said to someone standing nearby, "That cat looks an awful lot like a moose. You know, I think it might actually be just a moose with no horns." Only it was still orange, which seemed a very odd color for a moose.

DIWILD: So apparently this all happened earlier, before the FILD attempt, and afterwards I was convinced I was still in the same house. In the wall facing the end of the bed was a doorway to another room, and when I went inside, I encountered someone that I immediately recognized as the moose-cat from earlier, although now he was a human-looking man with orange hair. I was still curious, so I asked him, "Are you a cat or a moose?"

"I have three types of glands," he answered, and I had the impression he was suggesting that he was both, and something more besides, a protean type of creature.

The two of us sat down on the couch, and for a moment my dream libido took over, and I started making out with him. But as things got more intense I recognized that this was a distraction and would accomplish nothing useful. Didn't I have tasks to do? I remembered that last night I had been on DV looking over the monthly tasks for August, and there had been one that I particularly wanted to try out. This seemed like the perfect opportunity. So I disentangled myself from moose-cat-man's embrace and said firmly, "Tell me a word in a foreign language."

It was hard to make out what he said at first. It sounded like "Arab mormon."

"What?" I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly.

This time he distinctly just said, "Mormon."

It didn't sound like a word in a foreign language, but whatever. Run with it. "Alright, now tell me what it means."

"A married man."

I wasn't very satisfied with this result and wanted to try again. Another DC was in this room, sitting on another small couch further along the same wall, so I went and sat down next to him. This time I made sure my instructions were more explicit from the start: "I want you to tell me a word in a foreign language, and then tell me what it means."

"Sprenn," he said promptly.

"Spread?" I repeated what I had thought I heard at first.

"Sprenn," he clarified, and helpfully spelled it for me. "S-P-R-E-N-N."

"Okay, what does it mean?"

At this he smiled coyly, as if embarrassed. "I'll... tell you later."

I had the impression it must be a word for something naughty, but I needed to find out. "Please?" I wheedled. He shook his head.

I decided to be more forceful. "Come on, you have to tell me!" I tried to think of how to back this up, and added, "It's my homework assignment."

He tried to explain in a roundabout way: "It has to do with the city of Myrkbalik, and the laws of Garibaldi."

The two names he mentioned sounded complicated, so I wanted to make sure I had heard them correctly. "What was the name of the city? Mrkbalik?" He nodded. "And the second name? Garibaldi? Garifaldo?" This reminded me of a name I had heard in waking life, so I tried to remember, then joked with him, "The laws of Janeane Garofolo?"

He laughed, though it wasn't clear whether or not he recognized the pop culture reference, and repeated the name for me. It still sounded closer to "Garibaldi" than anything, though I had so much to remember at this point that I didn't dare ask him to try to spell it. Already in the back of my mind I was cycling through data points "mormon... married man... sprenn... mrkbalik..." trying to make sure I would be able to preserve them through waking.

Mrkbalik... that's how it sounded, and I didn't ask him to confirm the spelling of that one either. But he had said it was a city name, and to my ears it sounded Russian or Eastern European. I had a sudden insight about this DC, and asked him, "You majored in Slavic studies, didn't you?" He confirmed this.

I felt as though this conversation was winding down, so I got up and crossed the room. Against the opposite wall was a sort of shelving unit, framing square cubbyholes about the size you might put a pair of shoes in, six cubbies high and six wide. It was resting on some elevated base so that the fourth row of cubbies up was equal with my eye level. I looked in this row and saw that a couple of the cubbies were inhabited by small kittens. Could the kittens talk, I wonder? If so, I might even try the task again. But as I was wondering this, the little grey tabby kitten in the cubby I was peering into addressed me first. It had a tiny creaky high-pitched voice, like you might expect of a kitten, and said something about how its eyes were damaged or hurting. I was troubled to hear this and wondered how I might help. Since this was a dream, I figured the most effective way to help the kitten would be to correct its expectations. I smiled and said encouragingly, "No, your eyes are perfectly fine!" We had a few more exchanges like this, where the kitten would say something upsetting and I tried to reassure it. I don't remember anything afterwards so around this time I guess I woke up, although I don't have a distinct sense of the moment when it happened.

Dream - Lucid

I had woken up for a little while and I was having trouble going back to sleep. I decided to try to meditate to see if that would help. I cleansed my chakras and did some affirmations, and it worked!

Not only did it work, but I felt myself enter a dream. I was lucid immediately, and it felt quite stable. I was in my room at my parents' house. It was set up the way I had it when I was in middle school/part of high school. It was dark and nighttime out.

Of course, the first thing I did was call to Mike, but I got no response. Oh well. Onto other things.

I decided to try to make some portals. I hadn't done that in a very, very long time. The first portal I made was to erm...a sex world where I was the only female. I figured since this was my dream, I could go wherever I wanted, even if it was just for pleasure. Anyway, I drew the outline, and it was the oily rainbow color that it usually is, and jumped into it. Details will be spared, but it was an interesting experience. I woke up for one part of it, but I DEILD'd back into it. When I went back into the dream and other things happened, I woke up and again had to DEILD.

Upon the second DEILD, I found myself again in my dark childhood bedroom. I drew another portal and entered it. I intended to go to an astral world. When I got there, it was outdoors and sunny out. It had some nature around, so it wasn't like a city. I decided to try to change my outfit. There was, conveniently enough, a full-length mirror in front of me. I stepped away from it for a second, and imagined myself in a long, strapless, ballroom-type red dress. I stepped back in front of the mirror, and the dress looked nothing like I imagined, being a short, tight red dress -_-. I then tried again, and this time, it was a skimpy, see-through black lingerie type outfit. Nope. I kept doing it and getting different red and black dresses. I finally settled on a black one, I believe, though again, it didn't look like the one I imagined.

At some point, I woke up and DEILD'd again. I was back in the dark bedroom. This time, I decided to try to get to Teraluna, since it had been awhile since I'd tried. I drew my portal, and was going to write "Teraluna" in the center, but I decided to just fill it in instead. I jumped in, and was then inside of another dark room. Hyu was asleep on a bed there. I figured he must be sleeping IWL. I approached him.
"Hyu?"
He opened his eyes.
"Krista?" he said. He seemed surprised to see me.
"It's been so long since we've talked," I said to him. I don't remember his response. I do believe there was more conversation here, though, of course, I can't recall it. -_-'

We were then somewhere else, another world. I didn't see Hyu, but I was with a tall, thin person in a green shirt with a bob haircut. I thought maybe it was Hyu, but it was a woman...I saw that she had boobs. I was kind of confused, because it still seemed to be Hyu; I felt that it was, though the looks were deceiving. He told me it was him, and that he had just changed his form. Ahhh. Makes sense now.

I do not remember all the details of every place that we went, but we traveled around via portal quite a bit. There would be times when I woke and DEILD'd, and I'd end up back in the dream with Hyu where we left off. I also know that he changed his form a few times, once appearing as the tall skinny Asian guy that he first appeared to me as.

There were also points where I would do a finger count RC, but it would always fail; I would always count 5 fingers on each hand. Interesting.

Finally, I woke, and decided to end the DEILD chain. I was a little disoriented at first, thinking that I was still in my room at my parents' place. I turned over and went to sleep, entering a non-lucid dream.

~

Dallas and I were going to have a wedding ceremony. We were already married, but we had to have the formal ceremony. It was to be at a church. I pictured us walking in from outside with many other people, me in my dress and Dallas in his tux. It was a sunny day. I was picturing it in 3rd person.

Scene skip, though the wedding thing still applies. I was eating at a restaurant with a couple that looked to be in their mid-thirties. They also looked kind of country, and quite skinny. I remember the man had a country accent. There was someone else with us, but I can't recall who. The guy got up to go to the bathroom or something, and I saw on his plate three hot dog buns. They were not separated, but still whole without the slit down the middle being all the way through. I started to separate them for him. One of them looked very lopsided, and I was trying to fix it. He came back, and got onto me about trying to help him to separate his buns (lol separate his buns). He said it was rude. I apologized. I had only been trying to help.

Then, I got up to go do something. When I returned, no one was at the table; it's like everyone had gotten up to go, and no one was watching the table. There was a bill on the table, plus an extra fee of $4 for leaving without paying. Ugh, frustrating. We hadn't intended that to happen.

~

I was watching some weird version of the movie "Hook", where Hook is redeemed and finds his place in the human world. Towards the end of the movie, someone says "run home Jack", like they do in the actual movie, but it jars something inside of Hook, and he remembers that his name is actually Jack, and he gets overjoyed as he remembers his true identity, and somehow gets to the human world, though I can't remember how. I then remember seeing a commercial in the movie of an older version of him being topless with only underwear on. He was very fat with boobs, and trying to cover up his nipples as he jumped around with other people on the TV screen. I don't know what he was advertising, but he failed to cover up his very large nipples at one point. Pretty sure it wasn't an accident. Something about breast milk. I saw some coming out of his nipples. He was talking about "alternative milk". I thought about how that wasn't possible unless you were lactating after pregnancy. I couldn't believe they put that in the movie.

~

I was "recalling" my dream adventure with Hyu, trying to put the details together. I don't remember Hyu being there at all. All the worlds were somehow linked within a story line that was chained together through children's nursery rhymes and such. I remember being in a city at one point, and my brother being there at another point. He was talking on the phone. I remember at one point being in a bathroom and pooping...a lot.

I think these false memories made it harder for me to recall more details of my lucid adventures. Ugh. Dumb.

~

So more lucidity, and a visit with Hyu! Meditation really seems to help, and of course intention. I've also noticed over the years that I tend to LD more when I am laying on my back to sleep, which is not a common sleeping position for me. When I was meditating, I fell asleep, and I had been laying on my back as I usually am while I meditate. But there have been times where I haven't been meditating, but I've fallen asleep on my back, and even had a WILD that way. An interesting observation. I wonder what the link is between LDs and sleeping position? Does anyone have an ideas, or has there been any research done on it (formal or informal, it doesn't matter)?

Dream
Lucidity

I was at the apartments and the whole area outside the pool was flooded with water. There was a hot, curvy girl that I swam by while I was underwater. She was wearing a bikini and I could see a lot of her nicely-drawn tattoos. I saw another, skinny girl swimming really weirdlike and I said "I wanna swim like that". I got out of the water and went into the apartment where the clock on my phone was going crazy.
I said "This is a dream!" and looked back at my phone. The clock was still going crazy and I thought of things to do. I was with a girl who I think was Laurie and told her I was dreaming and that we should do stuff. I increased lucidity many times by saying to myself what to do. I was at my apartment but when I exited it, the area outside it was enclosed. When I exited the enclosed area, I was outside still in the property. I was going to practice my magic abilities but didn't know which, so I started using telekinesis. At first, I couldn't lift stuff so I tried again and I reminded myself that it will only happen if I believe it will. After I did this, my telekinesis started working. I picked up small stuff and even closed doors. My lucidity began to fade so I said "Increase Lucidity to Lucidity Max!", which increased the vividness of the dream and my lucidity. I rubbed my hands and counted my fingers but counted 5 at first. I asked the girl what sort of magic I should practice and she said to practice on my water magic, so we walked outside towards the pool. I started telling the girl how the whole area around the pool was flooded recently and how good it looked. There were puddles from the flood. I forgot to close the door to the inside of the condos so I turned around and closed it with telekinesis, The keys were in the lock so I tried to get them but some kids opened the door, which made me run up to get the keys while the parents' kids yelled at them. I walked towards the pool, which was populated by people. There was a little area with a table and I tried using telekinesis on stuff. The girl asked me how I knew what I was picking up and I said "I just look at the stuff I want to pick up". I brought my hand closer to my ear and said "When I use telekinesis, I will hear a sound of wind." I used telekinesis again and as son as I grabbed something, a short, faint sound of wind could be heard.
I played around with telekinesis and messed around with people. I suddenly wondered how I would remember all of the dream. My right eye started to close and I said to the girl "Let's go inside and have sex before we wake up" She followed me and I thought I would remember this whole dream. I decided to wake up and after a couple of tries, I woke up.

Journal Entry Lucid #68-69 Dream,Lucid, thoughts in dream,(Comments)
Background: I didn't meditate for this but I put on Robert Monroe's Audio tape about focusing and fell asleep while listening to it.

Lucid Dream # 68, day: 07/30/14, time: 1:32-5:22 Am " Met Vegeta":
I was with AL and his sister BY. I am in their supposed house. They had the same house. I feel so relaxed, I am beginning to fall asleep. I am now at an airport. I see a man, he is moving his lips, I start to listen. He said," If want to be at focus 10 you just have to say 10". I was confused, I turned and kept on walking. A women shows up and says the same thing. Then another man tells me I could use force field. I am confused. I realize that I had played the mp3 before I went to sleep. I said, "Focus 10" like he told me. I started to gain lucidity. The world isn't completely focused. These men tried to run towards me. I then use telekinesis to throw some of them. I remembered what the man told me, "I could create force fields". I am on some sort of bridge on a building. I believed and I put my hands out. The men that came after me stopped dead in their tracks. I am amazed that I created a force field with no straining. I then woke up in the dream room of my cousin. I have lost lucidity.

I wake up moments after the audio ended when Robert Monroe does his countdown.I went straight back to sleep. I see dragon ball z characters fighting. I became lucid shortly after. I am at church when I became lucid. These children are bugging me to make the dragon ball z character vageta to become real essentially. I then go to the poster that vegeta was on and I pulled him out of the poster. He was still in cartoon form but he had life. He was way taller that I expected for him to be. I then told him to entertain the children. I then lost lucidity some where after that waking up. I then had an extensive dream about an old high school friend.


Lucid Dream # 69, day: 07/31/14, time: 4:20-5:22 Am " Jaguar Motorcycle":
Dream was about Doctor Who. I see Marta Jones and she is in the sewer looking for some sort of clue. She climbs out and aliens showed up and chased her. I then get a physical form. I become lucid. In the middle of the street was a yellow car. It is hard to describe but it had no real form until one goes inside of it. I went inside and it was a fast farrari. It didn't have controls, just willpower to maneuver if want to turn it turns. As I was going down a hill, the car transformed into a motorcycle but in a jaguar form. It looked like it is jumping and the front paws hold the wheels together, the back holds wheels and I am in the middle, it had a glass protection.I kept on riding until I woke up. .

Ritual: wtb around 12:30am. Had to get up at 8am so no time for serious WBTB, but I had been reading about FILD and how it relies on short WBTBs that allow one to go back to sleep quickly, so thought this would be a good opportunity to try it out. I was waking up naturally every couple of hours and each time did FILD as I went back to sleep, but no results. If I was having NLDs, I didn't take notes and don't remember them now.

My fourth waking occurred at 6:50am. I did FILD again. This time, as I was nearing sleep I saw a tiny white light, rayed like a star and unusually bright, appear in the darkness behind my eyelids and seem to come closer. This reminded me: wasn't I supposed to be paying attention to hypnogogic imagery? Actually I don't think that is a part of the FILD technique but in my half-asleep recollection I was convinced it was, so I focused on that white star, and for whatever reason I felt like it was actually effective in helping me transition.

I had not been doing the "nosepinch" RC during my FILD attempts, as the tutorial recommends, because it struck me as potentially counter-productive to make such a large motion—if the body is not already in SP then one would end up moving one's physical arm and disrupting the transition. Plus, I figured, if I still had the presence of mind to remember to RC in the first place, then I could probably figure it out in some other way.

As I was trying to come up with alternate RCs that didn't involve physical movement, at one point it occurred to me, "Hey, if I'm lying here with my eyes closed, how come I can see my bedside table?" What a giveaway! So then I realized I must have transitioned without even knowing it, and got out of bed.

WILD: The first thing I did was go look out the sliding door in the bedroom. In RL it leads to the back patio, but in the dream, it opened onto a wide grassy lawn that extended a great distance. The air felt very real and fresh as it came through the door. I remembered my tasks, but after botching them last time because I rushed out of the house before the dream had stabilized, I didn't want a repeat of that failure. I realized I'd better take some time first and let the dreamstate develop a bit more strength. It felt unusually "thin," even for an early-stage WILD.

As I walked down the hall, I noticed three coins lying on the floor just inside the door to the library. This pleased me immensely, because I recognized it at once as waking life residue, the consequence of a conversation yesterday, and I was glad the dream was showing a bit of initiative. I picked up the coins and then wondered where to put them when I discovered that was wearing a skirt that had no pockets. "Don't be silly," I reminded myself, observing that this shouldn't be an obstacle in the dreamstate. So without looking, I slipped my hand down until I could feel the edge of the pocket that manifested on the skirt just where I "expected" it to be, and slipped the coins inside.

Shortly after this the dream was disrupted by a half-waking, but I was able to re-transition. I got out of bed again and realized I'd better work more deliberately on stabilization, running through each of my senses in turn to better engage them. Touch always seems the most foundational, so I rubbed my hands together and over various differently-textured surfaces in the room: the fluffiness of a sheepskin, the scratchiness of the wool rug, the smoothness of the wall. My sense of touch tends to be robust even in the most poorly-integrated dreams, so the results were satisfactory. What next? I thought of sight and sound, but immediately hesitated. The dream felt so thin and fragile that I felt convinced engaging sight and sound would expose me to RL stimuli and risk waking me. I thought it might be better to do taste and smell first to try to get a little more traction. As I walked toward the kitchen I saw a potted basil plant (much like the one I had bought yesterday from Trader Joe's) sitting in the door of the hallway bathroom. "That'll do for taste," I thought, plucking a leaf and putting in my mouth. It tasted very much like real basil, spicy and herbaceous, but somehow not entirely pleasant on its own. The leaf was unusually large and now it was filling my mouth in an unpleasant limp wad, so rather than chew and swallow, I took out what was left of it and put it on the counter. Surely there must be something else to eat? Ice cream maybe? I looked in the freezer, but remembered that I had finished the chocolate ice cream last night. I considered manifesting some more, but didn't get around to it. This might have been around the time the second half-waking occurred, and I had to re-transition.

It's not unusual that I have to chain a few WILDs like this before the dreamstate stabilizes, but this time it only seemed to be getting weaker rather than more robust, despite my deliberate attempts to gain traction. I guess my REM state wasn't very strong or I was already too wakeful. At one point I had opened the screen door by my work area and was standing with one foot inside the room, one foot outside on the patio, looking down the side of the house and thinking how unusually lifelike it looked, rather than showing the typical degree of dream-like distortions. And not long after that I woke up for the third time, too fully awake to retransition. I checked my clock and it was 7:35am.

It was a rather unsatisfying WILD in that the dream started out thin and only got thinner as time went on... there was one rough patch in the third part where I felt like I was holding it together through imagination alone before my senses re-engaged. By the very end, after it became apparent that I wasn't going to be able to accomplish anything worthwhile, I think I just gave up and was indulging in libidinous pleasure—through thought alone, as it seemed too much trouble at that point to try to create a scenario.

I'll have to keep trying with FILD to see if I can get better results. On the upside, it has the advantage that it can be practiced during very brief WBTBs, so it can be used at times when other techniques that require more mental focus would be unsuitable.

Journal Entry Lucid #66-67 Dream,Lucid, thoughts in dream,(Comments)
Background: I Meditated before going to sleep. WBTB. This is the first time I have ever killed a DC, while lucid, and it was brutal.

Lucid Dream # 66, day: 07/29/14, time: 3:30-unknown " The house in middle of nowhere":
The dream started with an investigator that looked like
He started a charity even in the lady's death. He bought all her stuff, before she died. People cheered him because they thought he was noble man. A screen pops-up and it asks to add a new character the girl that died. He looked dismayed by it. He didn't want her to come back to life. He killed her. The game say's new character added. She is transported to a new house. She is wearing 1600 cloth, the corset. I became her. I am using telekinesis to lift the couch and I see a glowing green thing around the object. I started to pay attention to it. It looks like an aura. The object started to move on its own. I see these twin sisters, old I mean really old. I became lucid without any cause.


They tell me to a have a good day, as they smiled and walked away. I looked for a door and left. I see a front porch and the house looks old too. It had wood coming off of it. It had an old wild wild west feel to it. I wanted to go some where but I see only the house and grass that surrounds it. Everywhere I looked was white space literally just empty white space as if the dream hasn't finished forming. Maybe the dream doesn't want me to go somewhere else.I looked back at the house and I see an elevator man, he had the hat and everything to the red top. He shook his head with disapproval. I felt the sensation that I am about to wake up. I went to the floor to interact with the dream. I started to touch the grass and the dirt. I woke up though.

I woke up to write down my lucid and then after some time I went back to sleep.

Lucid Dream # 67, day: 07/29/14, time: unknown-5:02am " First Blood":
I wake up in my room and I see that SN and his brother, YA were in my room playing on the ps3. It was night time so I didn't expect them to be over at my house. They left to get some food or something. I wanted to go back to sleep so I turned off the light. The light switch controlled controlled the ps3. That's strange. I plug the tv and the ps3 back on. I am suspicious now. My father brings another person and tells us to get along. The kid started to threaten us and he wants to play the next game because he is tall. I am angry now. I could beat him up. He couldn't do what he said. The guy from Doctor Who season 2-3 was in my dream. he summoned us all at once. We are in a room. He tells us that everybody has to obey their goddess and this creature with a head on her chest about 2 ft in diameter. She also has a big head where her head should be. She also had an uncanny smile. The color of her skin is green. And that ugly thing had the nerves to put on red lipstick, absolutely disgusting. I see her talking to her granddaughter. She tells her that she could do anything she wants and told her to fly. I see them fly. I then see the Doctor kiss goddess of his. It was repulsive. I asked them to stop kissing.


I realized it was a dream and I am back at what looks like my house, but bigger. I see all these people worshiping one of the goddess' minions. She was told that she could have power over these group of people. I told them to stop worshiping her. They were too scared at first. I started to fly and they trusted me. They got up and came towards me. She started to yell at me. I use TK to lift her up and push her against the wall. I see one kid from church, the one that practices LD was there, he was also using TK. I told him to stop assisting me. He stopped. I tried again and further inspection led me to see that she was just on her tip toe. I was upset that I didn't have control over my power. I strained myself hard and I managed to get her up on the wall. I then lost control again.

I wanted to create water out of my hands. I put my hand out and imagined sweat come out. At first it was just normal amount of sweat and then it started to rush, more and more. It was up to my ankle. The DC were all scared. I told them that I am going to kill them. They became terrified. I told them I am joking around. All the water vanished just like that. I wanted to try and do TK again since it is all that I love. I then tried to lift a table. I put my hand out as a gesture and it started to levitate. I then realized that lifting my hand was just a guidance for my will. It started moving up even though I didn't move my hand. I started experimenting with it, bringing it closer and further.

"HOW DID HE GET THOSE POWERS", screamed a man. He continued, "HOW DO WE KNOW WE COULD TRUST HIM?" He turns to me and demanded, "HOW?" He said with a whimper , "my grandmother told me 'avoid the things you don't know' " . Look at him still wearing orange. He is still a slave. Even though I freed him from the cult, I didn't free him from his mind. I mockingly said, " Your grandma is not a very smart lady". I laughed at the Forest Gump reference, no one else did. We then went to tables. They were filling me in on what is going on. They told me that we are underground tunnel. I started dazing off trying to understand will power. I started to use TK to lift chairs around. I grabbed a ring about 10 inches in diameter. I threw it and I willed it or used TK, but I didn't use hand gesture. For the first time I understood that it was not TK but will. I would throw it and in mid flight I bring it back like a boomerang. I didn't quite master it. A man came in. He sat next to me and he had a metal neck brace that signifies that he once was a slave. It had cool designs. He had all these tattoos. One of a tear drop on his face. He didn't look at me at all. He just sat there. I look down at the table and see this 3 x 4 ash tray except it melts metal. It is red hot. I tried to do the TK thing. I kept dropping it and nearly hitting people. One time it fell and hit a chair and shattered it. I then accidentally dropped it on the guy's foot.

He got mad at me and he grabbed me by the neck. He looked at everyone they looked scared. He said, "I don't care what they think you are but I don't care". He started to put a stronger grip on me. I tried to use TK on him but it wouldn't work. I then looked at the metal burner on the table. If only I could reach it. I stretched my arm. It started to move towards me. I thought, Maybe I have magneto's power control metal.I couldn't reach the man's throat but I now can use magnetism. I put my hand towards his throat and I start clinching my hands into a fist slowly. He grabs his neck. I then without hesitation put my hand in a fist and the metal around his neck just got so small that it was a decapitation. He died instantly. His head didn't fall though. This was the first time I killed. I don't care far too long have I let my DC kick me around. I see a hand on my right hand. It was frozen shut. I said jokingly, "how can I remove this hand?" I looked around everybody looked at me with fear. I said, "It is just human hand". I broke it off like it was just frozen meet. It was easier to break. I threw it into the metal burner. I saw his hand burn away. It happened instantaneously, I saw the skin burn right away and then the flesh with the bone.

Everyone is rushing towards the exit of the tunnel. I wanted to leave. As we were leaving I see that the girl that was cloned by the game was what they used to make the tunnel. They were cloning her and grinding her body into mush.
I do not get the ending.

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.