nightmare

8/3 A bunch of my soccer teammates were in like the appalation mountains in a town. When we would yell it would echo like 5 times. We were warming up for a game a one of our players (Lance) kept telling jokes. We were all making echos when a loud really deep Satan sounding voice said something about dividng the weak from the rest and it did not echo at all.

I had too much recall on exactly what happened in the dream. Kind of scares me. I wrote down everything I could remember, conversations and all. I apologize for all the grammatical and spelling errors but I was going crazy with the typing since I just woke up and had to write it down quickly. I do not feel like correcting it tbh.

Begin dreaming.....now:

I don’t know how I got here. There wasn’t anything wrong though, my family and old friends were there. They were happy and I was happy. There was flirting going on between me and the woman I always thought had an honest heart, and she does.I chat with her online, seperated by only a wall it was our only way of communicating. For a while we enjoy ourselves and it becomes apparent to our families that were are happy together. Although we haven’t told anyone, even ourselves, that we are dating the relationship develops to the point of becoming an “unregistered” couple. Our makes take down the wall and we live together. The house is nice, I have an old fasion balcony, you know? One of those you see on an apartment in France. There is a small jacuzzi pool that is always dimly lit. It is in a rather dark room but seems kind due to the patio right outside. You would never believe me but you can see the world from here. It feels like your heart has embraced the air and towers the skies, it is such a beautiful cliff. The water is just as beautiful as the sky it sits below. The clean blue runs on till the sky and ocean touch. Scattered around this majestic blue are rocks large flat rocks that don’t upset the surface. Like a bruise that doesn’t cause any pain. It adds an important imperfection the the ocean. I can sit there night and day wondering what it feels like to be so utterly……. Simple. No worries, just the waves, the warmth of the sun kissing my skin and the sounds of bthe birds calling while passing above. But I am not the ocean so I must leave for now. I am a person and so are all you. We have secrets, desires and pain. Mine wasn’t too far away.

As I left the edge of the cliff I felt heavy. My mind was in a haze and my heart felt wrong. There was no reason why… my soul just wanted to cry. For now I just needed to think of happy times, current times, to releive me of this burden. Soon I found her, my lovers mother, acting strangely. She was trying to take me away from my lover…..something was wrong. This burden only grew stronger everyday. The world was taking the ones close to me and turning them inside out, revealing the the lies we all hide. The heart that bore the burden grew weaker, I cannot describe the event of days passed since it was all a dream to me. I just know like the hanged man I was between to realities. I had reality a where everyone was normal and the other place where there were a bunch of mannequins claiming to be my reality. I didn’t know what to chose. I didn’t care anymore. There was no reality, nothing had value. There was just fear.

Today I took a trip outside with my “family”. My camera was on hand so I decided to take pictures. Since I didn’t want to spend time with my “family” I headed out to the back of the house. It was here that I was stuck for hours. Fear had immobilized me. Where is this fear? How is it doing this? My eyes searched and my heart searched and I knew… well I could feel it. This made no sense. I felt it coming from the woods as though something was threatening me, telling me to leave. Whatever it was filled me with fear. I broke. I couldn’t help but look and feel so small. If it came after me I would be like like a bush caught in a brush fire. It would consume and leave nothing. My hands move without me tellnig them and look through the lense. My fears are only intesified. Why do I want to look closer? I want to crumble. Please let me disappear. I sound so hopeless and weak.




“….It’s because you are weak. That is what I seek”
Am I weak?
No, I am not weak
Fear is my weakness
Fear is not my own. It is not MY weakness
“… the weakness that you cannot see are those which prove to be the most scary….”
So how can I move forward?
Fear has shackled me
My mind and my body are stuck
I cannot see you or touch you but you have stolen my body and mind
“…fear is yours to alone. It isn’t anyones to own. You must share it even if you think it is wrong”

The world is moving closer to me. My fear is moving away.
I feel it free me. On my shoulder. I see it telling me everything is alright, even though it doesn’t know what I’ve been feeling. It’s a hand. My lovers hand. I look away from the woods and I bearthe. I still feel it behind me looming. But when I look at her I feel it collapsing, all of my fear built up….it’s just crumbling.
That reality… it wasn’t real, was it? I just told myself it was. It was easier to give in. To sever my commitments, my relationships. It was easier to fear.

I always think about it when I sit by the cliff. I always feel it, alive and waiting. Life should be so simple and beautiful as the ocean the lies before me. But maybe it is just like me. The ocean can be calm, warm and predictable but it can also create fear for days or minutes. I don’t know.

It wasn’t long after that I slipped. For just a moment. I was leaving for good. Heading outside I stood by the jacuzzi and looked out at the world. It was then I SAW it. In the bubbling water next to me. The pale, fleshy, dead mannequins reaching for me. They got me. My body now submerged I struggle… I feel the blistering heat. I cannot breathe. The heat is too great.

I am stronger
You are not that man anymore
You are loved
You love
You have always been strong
Your only weakness was not knowing how to use it
Just be happy
Be the person you deserve to be
Love you memories
Now go and make new ones…

I am free. As I glide across the room I know it can’t be… I see the smiling faces all ready to leave… as I get close we all fade away.

End dreaming

That is of course when I woke up.

I am with my mother,walking beside a main road where we stay.I can see lots of cars,bikes,buses traveling in the road,in this cool shady sunlight, & am enjoying this calm & pleasant atmosphere,its like rain is about to fall any min. now. but kind of getting irritated cause of the vague noise caused by the people around me. As we both walk along the road,a strong gale suddenly rushes through us in the direction we were going.I instantly realize..something bad is about to happen!!!.I look back & see a man,dressed formally, running like a wild dog,hovering his arms in the air like a swimming motion & screaming something on top of his voice,in the middle of the road.A sharp,cold chilling sensation runs through my spine,as i see a large,red fire truck,whose back is on fire,comes crashing,making sparks with the ground & a screeching noise, suddenly rolls over & SLAYS the man, & about two cars & then bursts into flames few meters away from us,causing more casualties.. I am awestruck by this scary yet beautiful site & though not hurt in any way,i can literally feel the heat on my skin.Now i realize what is actually going & get scared.My mother grasped my hand tightly & just as we are about to run away,another can crash in the explosion,followed by many more.The road is totally blocked now.I can hear the screams & crying of many people who got themselves tangled in the accident & many people trying to save themselves start running wildly here & there without any sense of direction like ants running away from a fire.I can literally sense the fear in the air,the chaos in the environment,& start shivering vigourously because of the sheer realism of the dream, & to my surprise i realize i can't move an inch!!!no matter how much i try. .The smell of burning tires is making me dizzy,& my heart started throbbing like someone is literally hammering my chest.!!!Now a man looking like Morpheus ,with a black coat & sunglasses slowly comes to me & Whisper's in my ear"Stand still if u want 2 live,Ur time has still not came" & disappears leaving a horrifying laughter in the air.Now i realize"Hey WTF!!!! This cant be real" & just about to go fully lucid,I woke up.Shit

I was either traveling to China with my father, or already in China. I was in a store looking for a suitcase with a few dudes, then they were replaced by my crush, Jade. One of the suitcases had some glass compartments, and I thought, “they’d be perfect for storing food, even ice cream!”

I saw that my dad had tried to call me on my phone, but my phone didn’t have service anymore. I asked to borrow Jade’s phone, and when I started pressing buttons, the phone was beeping. Jade grabbed the phone from me, hurriedly putting the phone on silent so we wouldn’t be heard. I urged her to hurry up, as people started to gather in the room we were in; they made me uneasy. Some of those people were missing limbs, or were smeared with blood.


Just imagine the blood is a darker shade, closer to purple.

Suddenly all of the merchandise in the room was gone, and there was just a circle of chairs. One man sat in a chair and started sharing a zombie story. Jade got excited and wanted to join.

“Jade, don’t, we have to go.”

“Caenis, you have to do what I say!” Good to know she's demanding even in my dreams. Jade sat down next to the man sharing the story, and quickly began sharing her own zombie story.

I watched the crowd of bloodied and dazed people grow. Anxious, I abandoned Jade, making my way to the front of the store. The front of the store was dark, most of the lights had gone out. There weren’t any more humans, crowds of zombies passed me by. I peered in a room where a human corpse was sitting in a chair, with a severed zombie head on top of his. His head was crushed beneath the zombie head.

I found the exit and wandered the streets. Zombies and humans ran chaotically through the city. Zombie blood sprayed my right cheek. I wiped it off and decided that I wouldn’t turn into a zombie from coming in contact with the blood. I observed a few zombies get struck by lightning, and thought it fitting that even nature was trying to retaliate against the zombies.

I found a nice couple to travel with, and we walked to a Georgian city. We stopped in front of a large, elevated building. I looked up and muttered “No….” It was a train station. Though there were no zombies on the streets of Georgia, I knew zombies would pour out of that train station. People and zombies alike streamed out of the train station, and lightning struck the building causing an explosion.

My hand was torn or bitten off. Determined to not become a zombie, the couple and I suddenly appeared in a room. They amputated part of my arm in hopes that the zombie infection would not spread. “Cauterize the wound” the woman declared while stretching and cutting my skin. My skin was peach-colored and transparent.

The nightmare starts off with me walking in a park with my cousin Candy. I was complaining of some back pain to her. Out of nowhere, a guy shows up and tells me " You have back pain, why don't you show up to our sermon and get a free massage from our master massager!" Before we can say anything he guides us through some bushes and into a huge park clearing where there's about 50 people sitting on the ground all turned to a raised platform in the middle. The man guides us to the front row, and makes us sit down. My cousin says "Why not? Free massage!" so we stay and wait. Finally the "Master massager" shows up. He looks a lot like Salazar from Resident evil, only that hes taller, and is wearing purple robes with gold accents, and has a gold alarm clock necklace hanging from his neck
Salazar
I forgot what he talks about in the sermon. Finally it finishes and he says " And now for the free massages!Who's first?" he sees my cousin and says, " You." My cousin starts shaking her head but he gets her by the chin and looks into her eyes. I start feeling uneasy, and decide to get her and leave. All of a sudden his eyes glow yellow, and he tells her "I finally found you, Aries!" He opens his mouth and a long snaky tongue comes out and enters hers. She screams and disinagrates into ashes in front of my eyes. I scream,and so do the others,and chaos ensues. He sees me and his eyes start glowing again "Its you, Cancer!" he grabs my wrist and I scream. " What do you want with me?" I manage to stutter. He says "Don't you realize yet? You and your cousin are the one of the 12 human versions of the Zodiac.I already absorbed your cousin, Aries, into me. Once I absorb all of the Zodiacs, I'll become immortal! And you're next, Cancer." Still holding me with a tight grip, he opens his mouth and his tongue comes out. It manages to touch my chin before I kick his stomach hard, and he releases me. He doubles over and I run. "You won't get away!" he yells, and I keep running. I dont stop running for a long time, untill I see someone up ahead of me. Finally help! I catch up to him. Before I can say anything he turns around and lets out an inhuman yell. I remember him as the man that showed us the sermon. He's turned into a Zombie! His yell is followed by others, and I see the people from the sermon too, zombified as well. The start running toward me. They look a lot like the zombies from resident evil 4
The drag me to someone in the distance. Its Salazar! (In the dream, i never got his name, so I will just call him Salazar) He says " Good work, my minions." as I get closer and closer. I dunno how, but I manage to break free about 10 yards away. The zombies start to follow, but Salazar holds out his hand " No. Go find the other Zodiacs. I'll take care of this girl." I speed up. It is nightfall by now. I think "Great, I can use this to my advantage.If i have to." I can hear Salazar behind me. I make a turn, and realize I hit a dead end. There is a gate in front of me, and its locked. Its unclimbable.I turn around, but its too late to turn back, Salazar was coming this way. I see some bushes near the gate. I have no choice but to take cover, and hope he doesnt see me. Luckily, the path is surrounded by bushes, so i might not be noticed. I dive behind the bushes and make myself as small as possible. I start ripping leaves of the bush and throw them on me,hoping to hide my clothes. Then i sit there and wait, trying to stop my body shake violently from the terror. I hear Salazar's steps approaching. And hes checking the bushes one by one! I scream internally, and realize that its over for me. Finally he stops at my bush. He starts feeling around, and touches my knee. He grins " Ah, I found you little Cancer. Dont shake, it'll be over in a minute." I close my eyes and wait for my death. Then something rips him from my knee. I open my eyes, and see that a car crashed through the gate and ran him over. A hand reaches through the bush to grab mine "Are you alright?" she picks me up. It is a young woman,about 20. She is wearing black short shorts and a pink t-shirt. Her hair was up in a braided ponytail. "Thank you for saving my life." I tell her. " Dont thank me just yet," she says. "I saw him absorb Aries. Her power will keep him alive. Hes only knocked uncousious.He'll wake up soon. You should get a move on." I nod and she starts to turn around to run off. " Wait,can I go with you?" I ask. She shakes her head " 'Fraid not, he can detect our power greater if we go in groups. You're safer alone. Its harder for him to detect us that way." I nod. Before she takes off, I ask her "Wait, who are you?" She gives me one final smirk. "I'm Gemini."
I decide to make a move on before Salazar comes to. I run till dawn. I reach an area that is filled with zombies. I have no choice but to run through them. They see me, but they are to slow. Suddenly something hurls themself on me. Its some kind of black dog, with a skeleton for a head. Its too heavy to throw off. It pins me to the ground and starts chanting something. The zombies start chanting more. And get closer. I scream. Then something shoots the dog off me. Its a man. Hes wearing a gray tshirt and black pants and has two holsters with guns strapped across his back. He shoots the zombies and picks me up. "Thank you." i tell him. He nods. " Follow me." We start running, him leading the way. "I'm Leo," he says, " Who are you?" I tell him "Cancer." He nods again " We are going on a helicopter." soon, we reach the helicopter. There's another person there. Shes a woman with short red hair. She doesn't acknowledge me, but speaks a couple words with Leo. I dont know what Zodiac she is, but I get the feeling that shes Saggitarius. I take a dislike to her. Leo opens a glass dome thats on the side of the helicopter and tells me " You're safe now. Get on. Hold on to the pole though, you might fall off." Inside the dome, there is two seats. I sit on one and he straps me in. Then he goes inside the helicopter and we take off. Its not until we are high in the air that I start crying. I know that I am safe now. He waits till I calm down and explains to me that we arnet safe yet, we got to rescue the rest of the zodiacs, and kill Salazar. I get determined. We are going to save everyone. And finally bring peace. I make a mental note before I fall asleep that I will kill Salazar personally. The dream ends.
Note: I woke up pretty scared from this, even though this seems like an adventure.Didnt sleep the rest of the night.I still have this shaky feeling in my stomach.God, I hate nightmares.But it was a pretty cool dream

So I haven't been keeping a dream journal all month. Mostly because I mainly wanted to use this site but my internet connection was being unreliable. Luckily I can remember a few cool dreams.

July 25th

Mostly non-lucid. Had a very severe nightmare. A terrifying beast with long dirty hair and dead eyes was tormenting. Could talk. Had a horrible woman's voice. Would not let me wake up. Multiple false awakenings. Was in weird sleep paralysis state.

July 27th

Completely non-lucid. Had a dream involving Osezo, Setaron, a girl I had just met that day that we'll call Ace and several of Osezo's friends that I only barely know. At first, we were all in an odd circular house. Just hanging out. Then Ace and I were wondering in a city that resembled New York City. We found a building with a huge door. Had a big colorful neon sign. We went in and then were selling a bunch of Japanese food products. Ace said that Osezo and Setaron were trying to find us and that we should hide from them. We went out the back and were in this chain-link fenced area.We went under the fence and were out in a road. Ace had disappeared. I walked on the street a little and found a blood splatter. The dream then had a very "noir" vibe. Woke up shortly after this.

July 28th

Non-lucid. Somehow Batman related. Remember running across rooftops and fighting people. Very excited feeling dream.

I wake up at 2:45 half in and half out of a dream...there's a strange are loud siren ringing in my ears, almost like an electrnic alarm but of massive scale...i realize i am in bed sleeping and must be dreaming. I try to wake myself up. as I become aware...eyes still shut...I cannot tell if the sound is real or not...until they start to fade. I have trouble figuring out where I am. I have to focus...my heart is racing and I can't remember where I live or anything about myself for a few moments. It starts to come back as I start to recognize shapes in the dark....the window, my guitar case. I am in a room...what room? Is it my room? Where am I. Where do I live? In nc. I live in nc...in a house? No. An apartment...I left my house, my wife, months ago. My memory starts to return....I start to relax...but as I do, the wailing sirens return, excrusiatingly loud. It's interesting, I think to myself. I wonder how loud it will go. As I try to return to sleep, the sirens always get loud enough to wake me to the silence. I concentrate and manage to relax and control the sound in my head..as I start to fall back to sleep...then...movement wakes me...at my back. Something rubs me...feels warm...something alive and big enough to be a cat, maybe a dog. I lay still...don't want to startle it. I reach my arm back slowly, expecting to feel fur...I feel skin...an arm. ITS A PERSON. I think to myself in my still confused half awake state...is it Jason? Then I feel an arm around my neck hard...I lunge to get away but the arm is strong and I am soon wrestling for my life. I manage to get my feet on the ground and turn toward the intruder. I see his face in the darkess, grimacing...he's a young man, taller than me...I am in a fight for my life. Then I feel another body grab me from behind. I am being choked. I can't breath...but I am choking the man in front of me too. I think to myself...if I kill this guy, I might survive. But as I choke him, I start to pass out. I can sense the end is coming. I fought a good fight, I am going to die well.....then...

I hear a funny ringing sound, not a siren, this is different...I recognize it...it's my cell phone. I realize i am sleeping and someone is calling me but I can't answer it though because somehow I rolled in my sleep in such a way that my right arm was wrapped around my neck and my left arm was under my body....both were asleep and i was partially cutting off my own air supply. I did finally answer it...it was Steve from a company who I work for in NJ....there was a critical software failure at month's end and they needed my help. It was 3:00 sharp. The details of the dream are still fresh. I even remember the intruder's face...he had pale skin, blue eyes and short red curly hair. He was big and strong. The one behind me choking me, I could tell was smaller and had big forearms...like mine I guess. I remember that the imagery of the room was extremely accurate, the position of the bed, the guitar case, the dresser...the size of the room...even the ambient light coming from the window that lit up the man's face. Would love to hear comments about this, especially the siren. It was the only thing about this episode that concerns me, never had anything like it before. The way it filled my mind and went through me in chilling pulse waves...waves that I could almost control. And the overwhelming terrrified feeling and chills that I felt that came in waves in sync with the sound.

A day is cold; a girl can see her own breath of life.
A dusty glass window beside is covered with frost,
A little girl not older than ten is locked outside on a veranda.

The sky is darkening to icy blue
It is reaching for her; a cold thing, a dark thing.
Hands as white as bone and snow
She crouches and clenches her legs tightly
Warmth sieves through her claws like desert sand.

Whimpering,
She desperately bangs a glass… locked door beside.
Daddy, let me out! I won’t cry, let me out!
Is he sleeping?

Her runny nose is red like Rudolf,
Not Santa, she whispers herself, not Santa.
Clever girl knows it was her dad dressed in Santa.

Shivering, she punches a sliding glass door, bang.
Making noise might wake him up.

But… she drops her hand feebly.
He hates noise; he hates a child crying like a child.
A bitter dry cold was too much for a little girl.
Her body is numbing with stiff pain and blue,
Her thumbs have dry crevices trickling with blood.

He won’t let me out, till I give the right answer.
Silence will unleash the sentence
The obedient girl keeps her breath as silent as possible.

Santa doesn't like crying kids.
Only the dripping sound of tears fills the air

Daddy let me out.

[TRIGGER WARNING: This journal entry contains content that recalls the shootings in Aurora, CO. Reader discretion is advised.]

Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm on the second floor of a big office building, and I take the elevator down to the first floor. There are a lot of other people in the elevator with me. I get an odd feeling that something big and important is about to happen in just a few moments.

I exit the elevator and walk out into the ground-floor lobby of the building. It's a large space with lots of glass that lets in sunlight, and there are lots of people walking through the lobby, going in all directions.

Suddenly, a man with some kind of small-to-medium-sized automatic weapon fires a short burst of gunfire into the air, in the middle of the room. Everyone in the lobby panics and tries to take cover, including me. [I know this nightmare was inspired directly by the recent Aurora theater shooting tragedy.] As the gunman continues shooting random people in the room, I hide under a long, low, rectangular wooden table with another young woman, about my own age, with brown hair. She and I whisper to each other about how this isn't very good cover, and how he's going to find us here any moment know. We're right - he does find us there, and threatens us with the firearm. I'm terrified that I'm about to be killed. Fortunately, I realize that I'm dreaming, and that that means I can just fly away. So I do. I fly away from the gunman in a straight line, passing right through the wall of the building without even realizing that I've done so until I'm well outside the building. When I'm some distance away, I look back at the tall office building I just left. I'm far enough away that the gunman is now little more than a dot, still visible through the windows.

[There was more to this dream; I went on to explore the rest of the dream while lucid, but I don't remember any of the specifics.]

****************
Side notes:
*derisive snort* And I call myself an oneironaut! I was having a nightmare, I became lucid, and I just used my dream control abilities to run away from the danger. Next time I go lucid during a nightmare, I will try to remember to stand up to the threat and talk it down.

By the way, I had this dream at a hotel, on Night #1 of my big relocation road trip.

28.07.2012

Clara, Cage Club & The Colossus (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


I'm at the entrance to a club on my own, as my friends are already inside. I start talking to a girl in a queue and we go in together.

The club is huge, and 'decorated' with cage fences, chains and other metallic instruments; it's pretty cool and looks like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie.

I try to keep up with the girl I've just met while making our way through the crowd. She gets to the other side before me, and grabs a drink. She comes back towards me but stops at a pool table, where someone's setting up a game. She disrupts it by hitting a few balls aimlessly, before celebrating by singing Slipknot's Before I Forget into the pool cue. I watch, amused, and decide to approach her again.

We start talking and I learn her name is Clara, and it's going well until she tells me she feels ill. I ask if she's had too much to drink, but she hasn't, and I decide it must be from there being too many people in the club.

I escort her to the toilet, but not before she throws up on a few people. Everyone watches, assuming she's wasted and that I'm looking to score a drunk chick, but I find it quite amusing.

Contrary to the theme of the club, the toilets resemble large converted barns, and we explore various doors like excited children. We decide to leave, making our way through the now-empty club, my arm around her. We bump into her mum and baby brother, and walk home together.

While walking down hill along a road, I notice a colossus at the far end walking in our direction [I've been playing a bit of Age of Mythology recently] and the mum jokes that we won't have an easy time walking past it. I explain it's probably a bit more serious than that, and with that, the colossus begins to create a ball of energy in its hands.

I leap over a low wall to our left, urging the others to the same, and we sprint as fast as we can across a park. The colossus releases the ball of energy as a beam into some cars, obliterating them.

Running for our life, the other 3 overtake me, and all I can do is watch as the colossus gets them with a second beam of energy. I run to the mum first, who only has an injured foot.

Unfortunately, Clara isn't so lucky, and as I approach her, she turns over, revealing melted skin, deformed limbs and a lot of blood. [Such a nice dream took such a grim turn]

I run to a nearby public toilet for protection and to collect my thoughts. Once I've caught my breath, I venture out, sprinting to cover behind a low wall. The colossus is now a bus, operated by evil men who I overhear talking about destroying the whole area.

I make my final dash to an old mansion in the middle of the park, just as the doors are closing. I urgently bang on them, pleading for them to let me in, which they do. Just for the end of the dream I notice the skin of the men that let me in, peeling after a short exposure to the colossus' energy.

A nightmare I saw over and over again for about a month when I was young. I kept returning to the same points to see it all happen all over again and again. Parts in my story signify the "checkpoints" the story started from at different times.

I stood there gazing upon the campground. It was dark and cold, I could almost feel the whistling breeze coming from beyond. Almost no stars were to be seen at the night sky, it was cloudy and treetops were covering the sky. Campground was set in a large pit located in middle of the woods. Branches could be heard cracking deeper in the woods. Slowly I walked towards the center of the campground. Seven tents had been set up and a campfire in middle of them. The fire was out but you could still see little smoke coming out from the ashes. Ashes were spread around the place by wind a little bit.

Non-lucid: first part
A big slam could be heard behind me not too far away, right at the end of the campground. Startled by the sound I turned around, seeing a small yellow entrance. It was a bomb shelter and the door was open, light shined out from inside. A big slam was heard again, followed by a scream of a girl. Friend of mine appeared to be standing behind me by my right side. "I'm afraid, don't leave me alone." - she said. We were petrified. There it was again a big slam, but now it came just by the door, like it was closing in on the entrance. I started to walk directly at the door. A persons foot and a metal pipes end could be seen just behind a corner inside the shelter. With haste a school age boy turned into the view. The boy was wearing dirty and bloody white t-shirt, shorts, sneakers and a clown mask. I stopped frightened. Behind him there was a dark figure.

Non-lucid: part two
The boy was angry at me, I cannot understand a word he says to me. He started slamming the metal pipe to the walls making a terrible noise. A monsterous shout was heard under us, at the end of the bomb shelter. Dark figure was to be seen more clearly now, it was my very own mother, just standing there, like in a trance.

Non-lucid: part three
Boy shouts me with anger: GO AWAY! He begins to run downstairs, accidentally pushing my mother down the stairs. The shouts echo could still be heard. I attempt to catch the boy, as I pass my mother in the stairs she fades away. Stairs were shaped as a spiral downwards. At the end of the stairs there was a doorway to a long hallway. An invisible monster, shaped mostly like a man starts walking at from the other end of the hallway. It could only be seen as if it was covered in blood or water (changed between dreams). It starts running at me, catching me and throwing me to the end wall of the hallway.

Before lucid dream I had just seen part three of the nightmare. I wanted them to stop so I concentrated on nothing but the fact that I wanted to change how it all ends.

Lucid: final part - Final part takes place right after part two.
Boy begins to shout at me more clearly, but I don't care what he says, I've heard it all before, I knew how it would end. I grab the boy by his shirt stopping him from running away. Right that moment I can see my mother fade away, but this time she was still standing still, unhurt.

It began to clear to me. I was dreaming, I was unbound. Everything started to speed up, the room began to smudge around me as if it was moving back and forwards too quick. I look back at the boy just to see nothing but air, he had faded away. I hit the wall as if the world had flipped around me.

I wake up right after. Knowing what just happened.

Never had the same nightmare since.

What I've studied from this site it is somewhat normal to get too excited at the first lucid dreams, I'm pretty sure this is what happened to me also.

It has been a pleasure to write this down after so many years. I hope you enjoyed reading this.

Date: 24/07/2012
Place: My bed
Time of getting into bed: 11.00pm
Nothing before bed - Ginseng & Ginkgo the morning before

Waking thoughts in black
Non lucid dreams in blue
Lucid dreams in red

Dream 1 - non lucid (12.55am)

So, I was all intent on taking my Lucid Dreaming pill on a WBTB last night, for the first time. I went to bed early, and fell asleep normally. I must stress I DIDNT TAKE ANYTHING, not even the usual B6 as I wanted to see the effects of the G&C without any interactions. I took Ginseng & Ginkgo the morning before, which I have been doing for about a week now. The night was particularly hot (we're having a heat wave, woohoo!) and I slept semi-naked, and out of the quilt. This always gave me nightmares as a child.

Dream fragments -talking on DV about WILDing and lucid dreaming. I wrote this in my DJ, I was sweating and really tired (hence just a short sentence / fragment) but I was feeling weird. I was slipping in and out of consciousness and as I was I was unintentionally WILDing! It came on so fast, I would lie down to sleep, and felt my body go numb, then a floating sensation, all in a matter of minutes. I didn't fight it, but I mostly 'popped' in and out of it, very unusual sensation. This happened all night, at one point I checked the G&C pill on my bedside table to make sure I hadn't taken it in my sleep, because the feeling was so intense. I hadn't. I decided not to take it, as it was too early. (even though I was dreaming?) I slept, and then woke up to a loud noise a little later. I woke up (or did I? FA?) because there was a loud noise outside, at first I thought it was a helicopter flying by )it happens) but it got louder and louder, I realised I was awake... (I think... I didn't RC) but I was in SP - the noise got loud and turned into screeching, just like HH that people describe, but I've never had it. After the noise, I felt tingling all over my body, and fell asleep. Thinking about it now, was this a dream about WILDing? Or did I wake up in SP briefly? I have no idea.

Dream 2 - non lucid
Two guys are performing oral sex on me, the dream gets really weird, with medieval torture devices being used, I'll skip the details, but it was weird and erotic. This was one messed up sex dream.

Dream 3 - non lucid / slight lucidity at end - 3.00am
My mum is coming to pick me up from somewhere because I have been drinking. When she gets there she has some pizzas ready for me to eat, which I'm thankful for because I'm starving. My mum disappears, and I begin to panic. I ring her phone but she isn't answering, I worry she's been in an accident. However she then pulls in the drive with her car. The car is a big silver estate, and puffing out clouds of black smoke. I initially think she's had car trouble, but she gets out with my younger sister and says she's been in hospital. My younger sister is in tears - I ask her what's wrong? She says her favourite singer Adele, is in hospital. I laugh, and say 'I know she is, she's been in there for ages, call yourself a fan?' but she get's even more upset and says its an operation on her throat. I make a mental note to check weather Adele really has had an operation when I wake up, or weather my dream is making it up, as I can't remember right now.

I woke up, with a music in my head from my childhood, that I had COMPLETELY forgotten. It was eerie and freaked me out, as I tried to get back to sleep, I kept remembering dreams from YEARS AGO. I shit you not. I thought about getting up (this was about 3.30am now) and watching some TV because I was so freaked out I daren't sleep. However I forced myself to sleep, but I woke up again and again, each time remembering dreams from about 5 or 6 years ago, with amazing detail. I thought I'd completely forgotten these dreams. What the hell was going on? I finally fell to sleep properly again.

Dream 4 - non lucid - 5.15am
My family owns a food shop, I go in search of starting my own food shop. I have a clothes shop, but this gets shut down. A pink tie is left hanging from one of the windows, and I take it as a souvenir. I open a shop selling action figures, and I make shoes themed with cartoon characters and comic characters.

Dream 5 - non lucid
I am chilling with friends when someone asks me if I want to take part in a fun, free experiment. I agree. I have to hold these 2 black bars, it's a new kind of virtual game where you play an incredibly life-like character, that moves just by sensing through the bars in your hands. When I grab the bars, they hurt me at first, but I get used to it. I am a young soldier, in the war, I follow his life as he struggles to survive and still look after his wife and young child at home. I get really involved in this soldiers life, eventually feeling like I am him. I wake up in the dream, and the soldier is now a real man, stood over my bed. He tells me he is real, and wants me to follow him, I'm shocked, but not scared. I go and meet his wife and daughter, it is an emotional reunion for them, I watch quietly. Again, I wake up and feel like I'm WILDing, entering SP without trying. My body is tingling and numb at the same time, I feel like I'm floating over my bed. I remember more dreams from my long forgotten past, but this time I try to remember more and I'm shocked when I can. I quite like it. I fall asleep.

Dream 6 - non lucid
I'm watching a TV show about young fathers meeting their in laws to be. One guy is wearing nothing but a purple robe, he has a scruffy beard, and lots of body hair. He poses and messes around and his naked body is clear to see.

Dream 7 - non lucid - 9.03am
I'm at a dinner table in a restaurant, wearing fancy dress. I am wearing a santa costume, but it isn't totally correct. Someone nearby is a policeman. We add up 'fancy dress points' that we get for our outfits, so that we can have enough points to leave the restaurant. There was more to this dream, plus a whole other dream after this one, but I didn't write them down.

Overall, what a weird night. I feel refreshed this morning, but still in awe of the crazy night I had and I can still remember those dreams from years ago!

i had kind of a fitful sleep last night that was filled with odd dreams. I only remember two of them:

in the first i was in a dimly lit funeral home with some older guy whom i understood to be the mortician. He was telling me about a horribly mutilated body that had come in, saying that it scared him to even look at it. We were trying to just leave the building, but couldn't find the way out. Every time he opened a door he would say that it didn't lead to where it was supposed to and that the spirit that belonged to this body was causing it. He was getting more and more exasperated... finally he opened a door to the embalming room holding the body. It was strung up with gore that formed something like a spiderweb that stretched from wall to wall, taking up the entire room. Body parts were stuck in it here and there, including the head whose eyes were open.

in the second dream i remember, i thought i was watching a movie. I don't remember the entire beginning, but it was about an older black guy who was a professional clown. For whatever reason he was forced to join the navy... i think as a cook. He had tried repeatedly to get out, saying that he couldn't stand the isolation of being at sea. It kind of dragged on but in the last scene he put on his clown outfit and makeup and went on deck during some sort of ceremony. He took out a pistol and shot himself in the head, blowing half of it off. He was still alive, and yelling about how he wanted to go home. It was really horrible, but everyone on the ship was laughing. The intensity of the scene made me forget that it was supposed to be a movie, and i was yelling at everyone to shut up. Finally, he fell over dead. His last word was "DEEEEEEEERP," which made everyone laugh even harder.

I walked out of a door. I apparently just left my classroom. Someone was also with me, I don't know how, but I just knew she was a close friend. I couldn't remember her face though.

I slammed the classroom door shut behind us. I had the feeling that we were the last ones in the building. We started walking toward the stairs, but suddenly the door I just closed started to open by itself. I remember hearing the slow creaking sound too. "What's happening?", my friend asked. "I don't know, I closed it I swear!!", I replied. Wide-eyed, we looked at each other for a second, then dashed for the stairs. I shoved her aside so I could go down first (move b*tch! lol).

I'm pretty sure we were on the 4th floor. So I thought "Man, 3 more floors to go!". My friend had caught up with me by that time, so we went down together. We were still panicking because of the ghost opening the door upstairs.

We reached the first floor finally, and on our way out, I could see some of our other classmates waiting for us in the distance. My friend went ahead and ran to them. I was going to, but I noticed a little boy standing just outside the door. I went to him and told him to get out of there, because there was a ghost. He said it wasn't true, and that ghosts weren't real. I was flailing my arms at him, trying to get him to come with me. He wouldn't listen though, so I just left him and ran to my classmates.

When I arrived, they asked, "Who were you talking to?".

I said, "The boy won't listen to me! I told him to get away from there!".

Then they said the creepiest thing.

"What boy? There was nobody there. You were talking to yourself."

O___________O

22.07.2012

idiot with a rifle (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm 27 and I have high blood pressure. Realy high. It's not because I'm fat our out of shape, it's a result of bad genes. A long history of heart problems in the family. Among other things that is. If you didn't know one of the weird side effects of having really high blood pressure is that your short term memory starts to fail you. On the other side of the coin your long term memory can become crystal clear.

This is an odd thing but something I'm still dealing with. One of the main problems I have is that I remember my dreams, all of them. Every blurry little detail is permanently etched into my brain. It would be fine if all I ever had where happy little dreams about flying or something typical. But I never do, I always have what most would call nightmares. They seem to last hours and can be quiet chaotic at times. The dreams are quiet lucid, I'm aware its a dream but i go along with whats happening anyway and in some cases get sucked into the role. unlike most who become aware its a dream. Its very apparent to me right away. I don't get scared by these dreams. I used to have nightmares and be frightened but one summer i had a months worth of night terrors. Zombies being the main problem that bothered me. After a while I just stopped being scared like that part of me had finally died of a stroke.

the following dream Wasn't particularly scary but sets as a small example of how things move in my dreams. I'll start with it since it was the dream I had last time i was asleep.

i was standing in a wooded area. Maybe the edge of a golf course or a heavily wooded park outside of a small town. It had to be some time after noon. Standing to my right was a guy in a baseball cap wearing a wife beater shirt, jeans, and boots. He was really thin and reminded me of a typical redneck. In front of me were two guys both in t-shirts one in shorts the other in jeans. Both of them were on the heavy side. behind them was a red van of some sort. and I assume to the left of them was a white car. After thinking for a while now one of the two guys in front of me must of been a friend of mine by the name of Chucky. Since it was his car I recalled. We were there to meet with them and were just talking or hanging out.

Suddenly this loud nose came from behind me, a crash or a thud. I saw myself look over my own shoulder for some reason in a 3rd person view. Instead of seeing what made the noise I could only see my self looking puzzled. At the time i wasn't even paying much attention to how i was not looking directly behind me but more up then anything. the two guys in front of me made a quick dash to the left for there car while the guy next to me and I ran for the red van.

I got in the driver seat (something that is odd since i hate driving and never got my license). I put the van in reverse, moved back, and then drove forward down the pathway. I drove like mad. The trees flew past me in a blur. The guy in the passenger seat was saying something i could hear. I was too lost in trying to get out of there. And then a thud and it went black.

It only lasted a moment and then everything rewound like an old VHS tape. We hurriedly moved in reverse back to loud noise that sent us running. When it came back to normal time we were off again running for the vehicles. This time I threw the van in reverse and we both looked backwards as I drove that way the entire time. When we hit the road in town I spun us around and took off threw a quiet neighborhood.

I swerved into a drive way with the garage door open and pulled in. I got out of the car and more subtle crashes could be heard in the distance. i got out of the van and went around to the other side. Me and that guy slowly walked out from under the shade of the garage door. People had left there homes all of them gathering in the middle of the street looking up over the houses.

I saw myself in 3rd person again still unable to tell what every one was looking at. Even my dream self could see what was causing all the sound when i could not. Back in my body I noticed to my left a man had come out of his house holding a rifle by the barrel. As if he planned to use it until he saw what was making the noise. too stunned to hold the gun properly he just loosely held onto its muzzle. The guy i was with must of saw this too as he quickly ran over grabbed rifle away from him and walked back to where he was standing. As he did he was inspecting the gun before quickly raising it up to aim drastically.

I remember this shocked me and made me very mad. tho I'm not sure why exactly. I had this sense that what he was doing was extremely stupid and careless. Not because he could injure himself or some one else either.

It became very clear all at once. like slow motion i was staring at him as i was starting to yell under my breath at him. I slowly turned my head to the noise and I saw it. with my own eyes I saw it. bigger then the houses. Bigger then the trees. Bigger then a building. A giant creature covered in an exoskeleton like a crab walking on six pointed legs but upright like a human with long thin lobster like arms. it was so large and in the distance that i couldn't even make out the color of it. It just appeared as a gray blur like a shadow puppet on a wall. its heads just under the clouds as lighting struck around it.

That's when i realized what i was yelling at him. I said "you idiot!!! even if you mange to hit it from this distance, all you'll be doing is alerting of a free food source" I grabbed the barrel of the rifle and pointed to all the people standing around dazed and shocked at what they were seeing.

then I woke up...

I drew a sketch of it but Photoshop squashed it for some reason.