nightmare

I was having trouble sleeping, and the last time I checked the clock it was past 8 am I and woke up around 9 am, so it wasn't a long sleep.

I was having a normal dream and I realized I was dreaming, I was excited but somehow I was floating over my bed unable to change my position. I almost always have full control over my body when I LD, but this time I had only control over my mind. I ignored that and tried to conjure something behind the door while floating over my bed and failed.

Then suddenly I was in my bed thinking I'm awake but I wasn't. I had very painful sensations.
I felt like a couple of balls are moving inside my skull, they were moving and crawling under my skin, and I was shaking badly.

I also felt hot air coming out of my ears. I can't remember every sensation now, but I was in so much pain and trying to fight it. I tried to move my body and it made things worse. It all felt so real but I think at some point I realized that it wasn't because I tried to snap out of it and I woke up.

It didn't feel like sleep paralysis because that's not how it felt in previous experiences but probably the same person experiences it in many different ways.

I failed to sleep after, and I am still awake with only 3 or 4 scattered hours of sleep in the last 34 hours .

I opened a discussion about it here including a previous recurrent experience.

D1: Non-Lucid--I was at this place which was like a Christmas celebration but they seemed like Morman's but somehow also occult like. Super weird. It was being in a place that looked like they should be holding a 4H fair but without the animals. In a building for animals. The people there didn't seem to want me or my friends there so I left. I hitchhiked to a nearby gas station on an oddly familiar old road. ( was watching Bates Motel before bed, lol).... I realized my purse was gone when I needed my billfold to pay at the gas station. I went back & the people there were now living in some really nice mobile home. The people there took me back to the 4H kind of place where we now bedded down like animals which was somehow against the rules. My friend wanted me to be curteous but I was mad cuz my purse & billfold was gone. But by then I had found them & was still pissed off cuz my phone in my pocket was now an old phone not my iphone. I told them they needed to give me back my phone or pay me like $800 for it. In the end they gave me cash when I threatend to press charges for the phone & on them personally for being sexual deviants. I said deviant in the dream but I was referring to them keeping the women & children being raped by the men but I never actually saw this, I just had the vibe.... Suddenly the festivities were back on everything was back to how it was when I got there in the beginning with my purse, phone & billfold all back where they belonged. I just wanted to leave & then Meesha woke me up.

D2: Non-Lucid Nightmare!- My family, like a lot of us, were in this tall hotel with really nice rooms. I've been here before, this hotel is a reoccurring dream place but I haven't been there in a while & there is usually a casino there. Anyway my twin daughters (real life twin daughters) had twins. But each had given birth to only one but they looked identical & we were calling them twins. The family went off & left me & my mom with them. My mom said I was being over protective of them & she let one wander off. The next thing I knew it fell off a stairwell & hit a shitload of stairs on it's way down! Fucking horrific! A woman who was dressed like a high end servant but was also some kind of doctor. I don't know, she just looked out of place. After me freaking the hell out eventually the baby was fine & I woke up all hot & sweaty.

Dream #1: non-lucid- All the details were very vivid in this dream. All the way down to cups & silverware & blankets & furniture etc. Jason & I were at college & were dating but then he turned in Bobby. We were hanging out on campus & doing normal college like stuff like eating together & romantic stuff. But then last nights dream guy became my new guy somehow & we were beginning a new romance & kissing & taking walks. I was staying in a rental w/ some other people now off campus & we were getting tired so I told him he could crash there with me. There was some weird reunion of people at my house & then the lights went dark & I sat on him.


Jason & Bobby were childhood friends of mine. The dream guy from the night before was weird.



Dream #2: non-lucid & lucid- I was at Richie's farm. But it only had very few details of the original. We were having a family reunion where I had become a permanent part of the family. There were a good 80 people or so there in the big farm house & outside. Lots of cars & trucks & other things that are normally on the farm. (Became Lucid) The details were intensely realistic & normal. Real things such as knickknacks everywhere. Everyone knew who I was & they were telling me who had had kids & married such & such & pulling out photo albums left & right. Lots of memories were going along with all of these things. This was extremely elaborate & there was a futuristic field they were showing me across the street where life had changed for all of us. It was elaborate with technologies that we don't have now for everyday life. A whole new system of farming & hovering crafts for water system & flying machines running the farm.... At this point I felt I was supposed to go back to my original families house but I was torn & really didn't want to go because of how all that turned out for me before.

Richie & her husband were one of my foster families. I was actually lived there twice. The first time I was going to go home to try & reintegrate me w/ my real family but it didn't work. I won't elaborate on that right now. I then came back after a few months but eventually I broke the rules of prom by leaving w/ my prom date from the after party. We still left amicably. I really loved them. They were good people. I even got a tattoo from one of my foster sisters (actually I put them on myself with her stuff & she gave me a dot on my shoulder to always remember here) & we went to high school for a while together in a whole other town.

Dream #3: Non-Lucid-Nightmare- I was in this house behind mine which is now a bunch of apartments. People busted in while my daughters house & these people were stealing all her shit. More very detailed stuff in it. I pulled out my phone to call the police & at some point I had to put it back cuz they almost caught me trying to call on them & they were an unsavory bunch. At the end I pulled it out & this woman just laughed at me & said "Good luck with that". Somehow she had magically took my phone which was now in her hands & fake phone was in mine. They tore out of there at that point & I woke up.

Recently I've tried not to interfere when I become lucid to work on noticing details. Apparently it's working. I've always noticed that when you try to change your dreams when you become lucid you take a big risk of losing a lot of details so I'm working on mastering details more lately.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

I'm a child, and I'm going to a large city park with a group of friends and oir parents. There's a big playground and grassy field, all near the city library. A comfortable place overall.
We eventually start playing games like tag and manhunt, and begin to split up. Before I know it, I'm in this grassy area with small, dilapidated houses, shipping containers and toppled buses acting as shelters and tunnels. Most of them are charred black, and there's lots of splintered wood and corrugated metal. It feels like a shantytown, but it still seems to be in the park and viewed as safe.
I'm playing alone and trying to avoid the others, but I feel an overwhelming sense of hostility and paranoia growing in the air, and become more fearful as I engage in the activities children do.
I'm entering the houses and containers, and at a couple points I see candy lying around and take it. I can feel the other children looking for me as I do this, but they've grown into something more... sinister.
At one point I have to crawl through a small, dark tin tunnel with a dog that alternates between whimpering and growling at something behind us, in the house. I crawl to the end toward the house's exit and hug the dog, but I'm pretty sure it gets caught by whatever is hunting us.
The dream now has a Silent Hill vibe. I'm not sure if it's still a game. I somehow find out how the other kids have been dying. They get their heads ripped off and replaced with a baby doll's head, or their head gets put on an animal or another person. Then they become sinister.
I grow increasingly terrified, and though I can't find anyone, I know that I'm surrounded by pieces of their corpses.
The playground is now empty, cloudy and plagued by weeds. I find two adults and we go back to the houses and tins as they demand to know who caused all this chaos, as if they think we're still kids. We wander to a dead end and there are dark, open windows all around us. I'm waiting for someone to reach out from one and grab them, dragging them into the window. I'm not sure if it happens.

The last part of the dream show the Scooby Doo gang from the original cartoons, standing and making plans to investigate that area. The sound is fuzzy, as if I'm watching them on an old TV. It seems like a normal episode, happy like it seemed with me, but it will definitely become dark and depressing.
The title tune--the one that plays when they display the name of the episode--is playing fuzzily in the background, and I know they're going to die.

2 non-lucid, still having vertigo issues.

#1: Dreaming of watching tv with Mike in my chidhood home. He wanted to stay up. I was making up the futon we have in our real house in my childhood house. He was in the hall & he was asking about a show coming on. If it was on yet.

#2: Trying not to get raped by zombies. I kept thinking one of the other guys fighting the zombies was attractive. People were randomly having sex in a building in a park but it was like a shell of a one story stone building.

Listened to one Lilian Eden meditation but my son is here from college & I got really mad today over it so we had to call around 5;30 am about it dropping out on my wifi. I had a really bad morning. I will be listening tonight hopefully. Guess we'll find out if they fixed it. My son has 2 monitors & monster computers & high tech games which I'm always in competition with.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

Had a nightmare again. This time I was in an old house, victorian with old style lamps. Cold and creepy.
The lights went off and I was left alone, my daughter went out.
I could make out stairsdown in the half light but didnt want to go down as I knew there was a big ol monster down there.
So I sat and are cakes, even though they were making me feel sick, to take my mind off the fear.

[comment]
When i'm depressed I over eat. So that figures.

Well, diseases have been a common theme in my dreams. In the past, it was generally cancer and/or some type of random organ failure. This dream, the medical nightmare involved me having aids. Basically, I was contacted by a teacher from community college, where I went early in my college career. The teacher said that an HIV test had been run on all of the students. Everyone else was negative she said, except me, and that I had aids. Hearing this news I was in utter disbelief. I was just terrified about the whole thing and what the prognosis was going to be. I had little knowledge of the disease, and I wondered how I could have gotten it. I ended up going to a doctor's office that was supposed to be some sort of clinic for people that were suffering from aids. In the office, I was pretty much scared out of my mind, thinking that the doctor may give me a grim prognosis. However, I found it equally mysterious why I had it. It seemed as though there was simply no means of having contracted it. My mind began to go to horrible scenarios of that I could have been taken advantage of by some mysterious person and had no recollection of it, just the stuff of nightmares...... because that literally was what it was, although I didn't know it, yet.

Dream Two------extension of dream one, with subtle wakefulness in between where I was still confused and frightened by the previous dream

After leaving the clinic, I was on the street of my hometown. I was going to walk up the street at night through the questionable neighborhood to see my parents to pick me up. Oddly enough, the whole aids thing just kind of dropped, which made no sense as I was naturally terrified about the whole thing. I mean, I guess I remembered it, I just wasn't thinking about it. Then, my Mom was in this shop where she was baking. However, upstairs supposedly there was some guy in there that could kill me. It was dark and mysterious, and people were saying not to go in there that the guy could kill me. However, I couldn't see him. At this point, I began to develop very low level insight that I was dreaming and the whole thing became much less scary. Then, I decided to leave and call a girl from where I went to college that ditched me, as I knew I was dreaming. She basically just gave me the brush in the dream, so I just kept on walking, then I woke up.

When I woke up from this dream it really scared me with the aids part of the dream. The aids thing couldn't be possible in real life, as I haven't done anything that's risky along those lines. However, the dream first had me so shook up that I just wondered if maybe somehow I did or that I could have some other kind of horrible disease. Then, after a few minutes passed, I realized that it was merely a dream and I didn't have any kind of disease. I have to say that this dream honestly gave me a lot more empathy for people that actually have received that diagnosis and had to deal with that experience.

An environmental catastrophe was about to happen to the Earth. Humans were aware of this, and there was a system installed in which we all had to wait for our name to be called (sometimes in groups, sometimes alone) and step aboard a small asteroid-like rock that floated nearby a cliff. The asteroid was like a disposable mini-rocket, and as it launched off with each group, it begin slowly disintegrating until the people aboard would fall to the ground and die, or be injured and die later. It was terrible, but not very real-feeling. I watched a friend die, then came my turn, and I woke up before I died.

I fell back asleep and entered a similar scenario, only this time it felt more real. I was living in a 'Fall-Out' type village, with very few amenities and maybe 50 people at most. We were under the control of another group of humans, like a military or militia. We had a local stand where a guy sold things like cigarettes, food, drink, drugs, etc. There was a man who delivered small amounts of rations regularly. I saw some soldiers going into some of the other homes on the compound and I knew the end was coming soon, they were going to take us away, and some [vague] bad thing was going to happen. During one moment I seemed to be playing the role of a child, although I also had my current dog, Cayna. I heard that the soldiers weren't allowing animals to come along and I began to panic. I knew I couldn't leave Cayna behind. She would starve. I knew she had been abandoned before and I dreaded the idea of putting her through that again, at my hands. I was leaving the home I shared with other people and I think I told a woman and her 2 kids that I had a dog and I was so sad to be made to leave it. I asked her if she was ready to leave too, and she said they were staying, because they have a cat, and if you sleep outside with your pet you can stay. I was thrilled and went to get my mother [random woman in dream, not real mom]. I saw her in the back of a car being driven away. I cried for her and she looked back and seemed to be crying out in pain of leaving me behind.

I had Cayna though, and now I seemed to be back to my regular age because my husband was with me. I knew sooner or later we would be forced to commit mass suicide. I felt an enormous amount of dread. I thought, 'This is the worst possible ways things could end.' I wondered about Cayna again, and how she would survive without us. I thought she would have plenty to eat for a while—the left behind food and corpses...but then something convinced me that her death would be horrible if I let her live and I began to wonder if the safest thing to do for her was also poison her when we had to poison ourselves. My heart hurt; how could this be happening? I thought wouldn't it be wonderful if somehow, right before the and that someone said we didn't have to die after all? We could go on living! I felt a sting of hope rise and die quickly. I looked at my husband who was teary-eyed as well and told him that maybe the best thing for Cayna in the end would be to take her with us. He cringed and seemed to emote that he didn't want to talk about it. I said, 'I understand but I just wanted to say it now so when the time comes we had talked about it.'

Some time went by. We were outside this entire conversation, my husband and I. He suddenly told me to hold still and he began plucking at something on top of my head. He plucked off a ladybug -still attached to some of my hair- that he said had burrowed itself into my head/hair.

Thoughts:
I had some allergy issues right before bed, and my throat felt tight, felt itchy, and it felt a little hard to breathe. I've had allergy induced asthma before and it wasn't that bad, but I decided to take a Benedryl to relieve my symptoms. My husband spends lots of time playing Fall Out 4 lately, and I think the post-apocalyptic town was designed with that in mind. I have been a little worried about my dog. She is aging, and I wonder if I am giving her the absolute best care that I could be. Do I exercise her too hardly when we run? Do I feed her too much? etc. I found it interesting as I typed it out that my worries about abandoning my dog turned into me playing a child being 'abandoned' by my [dream]mother. I'm not sure what that means though.

This dream is from about June of 2016.

I had a dream where my class was watching a video of a live performance of a band called scream.
i got closer to the TV and then the lead singer, who was sporting a dark brown cloak with symbols on it ran after me. he then trapped me and attempted to force-feed me until i couldn't move. once i escaped, i left the classroom and tried to find an exit. he was chasing me the whole time. i then found a carnival that was built in to the school. i attempted to play a game or two, but none of them worked. i then saw the person running through the halls in the background. I made a run for it towards the maze attraction. shortly before i entered it, everything became distorted and hard to see. i then realized that i could open my eyes at that point, so i woke up.

Background

I'd known about lucid dreaming for a long time, but it took longer for me to experience it, and it was essentially spontaneously. I'd found I could accidentally go through a WILD-like trance when struggling to fall asleep after waking up early. The dreams would start off at a distance, like a television screen, and then become 'real', often as dream chains that I had some conscious influence over. Sometimes they were fragmented (e.g. being frozen in darkness, having very blurry vision, or the only sensation being the feeling of flying very fast), but now and then the clarity and reality of the scenes I experienced would blow me away. Still, I was unable to stabilise them. A few days ago I discovered that spoken commands like 'increase lucidity' could turn a vague fragment into a full-fledged visual scene, which was encouraging.

Waking Myself Up From A Burglary Dream

I'd told myself that I would write up any dreams I'd have that night and post them to DV for my first entry, so it's only fitting that I ended up having my first (semi-)lucid nightmare. After waking up in the morning and went back to sleep, I had a dream where I was sitting around a table with a few people, including, I think, a family friend. I was concerned about an exam that was coming up. I was worried that a question about acid-base chemistry was going to come up; something involving a base in ammonia, and I was sure that it was some other substance than the ammonia itself - NaBH4 or NH4OH. But the exam was cancelled because of an outbreak of 'parainfluenza', and this news was accompanied by the image of a woman with sore-looking yellow eyes. Since it was cancelled, I could rest easy and go to sleep.

This led into another dream where I was at home in the night, looking down the stairs so that I could see an area near the front door. I heard noises near the front door and looked closer. There was a fairly short man standing there. I thought it was my father - though I wasn't expecting to see him - so I called out to him. Rather than respond in kind, he shushed me, and I realised that it was an intruder. More of these intruders came through, so I retreated into a nearby empty room. At this point I began to suspect something was off. I thought I might be dreaming, but if so I wanted to wake up, so I could be sure and not have to worry about the intruders anymore. This wish suddenly ended the dream. It was replaced by text filling my field of view, being read off by a calm male voiceover. It said something along the lines of, "Welcome to your lucid dream. Wake up now or wake up dead in two weeks." At the time I think I had enough critical faculties to not be sure if this was right, but I realised I was in sleep paralysis and I really wanted to get out of it. I found that, surprisingly, I could slightly move my body with great effort. With what felt like a lot of willpower, I forced myself to move and woke up.

There wasn't any lingering feeling of terror, which is my usual criterion for a nightmare, but I think this fit the bill, if only because it made me realise that a semi-lucid dream could still be unpleasant.

Video Game Fragments

I was watching a boy playing a FPS game, switching between my view of him and a view inside the video game itself. He was clearing a large building with many corridors similar to a hospital - of what enemy I don't know - and then went up a curved staircase, which had many offices running alongside it, arranged in a staircase fashion themselves. The general aesthetic was wood and blue light. By entering this area he went into a sort of mini-game where he blitzed through the offices at high speed, which also involved strips of light flashing on his mousemat very fast. I thought it involved predicting the lights, but when I asked he told me that it was actually a very fast memory game, which observation seemed to confirm.

I thought about the idea of being sleep-deprived from addiction to virtual reality. I imagined a person distracting themselves from their tiredness by immersing themselves more into it. I have a dream in which I see scenes from an online FPS game called Xibalba, which I think actually represent a place within one level. Bizarrely, I also pondered the merits of a religion that worships the electron transition in one type of molecule (containing nitrogen!) versus a rival religion that worships another.

OK, so I had this dream today, about a cat, similar to Burger from the ''Angry Cat Video'', Orange Tabby.


Basically, I went to this house, and this is the second time this house has appeared in my dreams. And my sister, who is a lesbian, and her fiancee were there, so were my cousins, the cat was clinging to me, and it actually felt like a centipede, rather than the normal claws in. It was quite an angry cat, that I was scared of the other ones, but apparently they were friendly cats.

Yesterday, because of my Tourettes, I was actually meowing like an angry cat, possible realization of my Animal Nature? As a furry, I always thought I had Wolf in me. Now I feel like I have cat like qualities.

The route to the house was scary as well, I have Lepidopterophobia, or Mottephobia, a fear of Moths and Butterflies, so I had to take a safe way to the route to the house as there were some Moths and Butterflies on the route to the house.

Anyways, does this reveal my spirit animal as a cat, or half cat half wolf?

Semi lucid starts and I'm shouting "you're dreaming" in a city environment but I never gain complete control of the dream. Instead, it's some sort of cartoonish pink white and red animation of a dream.

Dream where there's a female version of pennywise that I see down the street but as I'm lying in bed she is on top of me.

Lucid where I notice I'm dreaming after looking at this huge snowy mountain expanse and decide to create my own rollercoasters that I ride for about 30 seconds before getting off. I'm in the station where you get on and look in the mirror. I can't make out any words or features in it. I tell the people around me that I'm dreaming and I yell at someone to tell me a joke but they laugh and shove me.

...
here goes nothing...

DREAM ONE : the vampire that said "shootaloo"
AGE 5
The dream opens with a cut-scene where me and my friends are at the store getting ready for Halloween.
I went down anr isle, and saw a candy bar stand designed to look like a vampire. I leave the isle and look back at it. I stared at the isle for a few seconds before the vampire candy bar stand came to life and said "shootaloo," staring directly at the opposite side of the isle. I screamed as loud as i could and ran out of the store. Another cut-scene starts where the vampire chases me. We both run really slow. Eventually, I arrive at a desert-type place where my mom is performing a speech. I run up to her.
"Mom, there is a vampire chasing me!!!" i say. she doesn't seem to care and continues the speech. The vampire then walks up to my mom and asks if he could borrow me for a second. She says yes and all of a sudden i'm at a place with a giant donut-shaped hole in the ground. He tells me some stuff i can't remember and then i wake up.

DREAM TWO(fragment) : a dead sea monkey in a car
AGE 8 (i think)

The dream starts in a cloudy, black-and-white town with a car at the outside of the town. I enter the car and see a dead human-sized sea monkey sitting in the driver's seat. shortly after i wake up to see that my cat knocked over my sea monkeys' container.

DREAM THREE : "oh look, i found a pineapple!"
AGE 7-8
I was in the kitchen just messing around until i decided to look through the front screen-door. I see... something... made out of coconuts that says "oh look i found a pineapple!" and throws it at me through the screen door. I wake up in the dream 4 times with the same outcome: the coconut thing saying "oh look, i found a pineapple" and throwing it in my face.
eventually he isn't there and then i go to my grandma's (now my aunt's) room. There is a baby in the middle of the room that i draw my attention away from, just to see the coconut thing. It says "oh look, i found a pineapple!" and throws it at me.

I Had a weird, non-lucid dream about Slenderman and the Puppet from FNAF. I played a version of Slender that had a ''Nice Mode'' which allowed the character to be a green marionette-esque character, other weird things in the dream involved me running in fields and whatnot, I think, I don't remember all of it. But I have lots of dreams about Giygas from Earthbound.

And that's it.

D1 - I am at a workplace and am handed a printout, showing three spellings of name listed on a long list of names. All mispellings are of my name. As a result I am not sure if it is a mistake or if I have a choice.
I look at the different possibilities for job relocation and where I would be working.
There are two possible places one really hard to get to. I am worried and believe it may be due to a mean boss.
Silky helps me look at different possibilities.
I then realise I will be doing two jobs with the same hours!


D2- I am in some kind of small japanese style room, all is white linen. There are shiny copper pans stacked in small space to reach up to ceiling.
I start to climb up precariously to exit in ceiling, where they're maybe food.


D3- In a strange medieval city, on the outskirts I am wandering lost and having no idea of the time or place, or even my name or origin.
Also it appears I am peniless and quite miserable. Night approaches and I reach an area near some docks.
i am approached by a group of men, clearly surrounding me. Soon enough i am captured and press ganged with others. I an tied up and await my fate gloomily. I am offered wine which i fear may be drugged so I ignore it and it splashes down me. The others take it and I realise it is to dampen the pain of what is to come.
so when I am offered a last time I accept. It is cold and I am already cold and tired in the half light. A cloth is then pressed back into my mouth. We are hauled away and I am sunk under water tied to boat. I am slowly numbed by the wine, cold and icy water.


D3- I am trying to get portion of white line? on a peice of paper. I use my powers as a vampire and start to shred the paper with my teeth instead.
Silky grabs the other end she is in werewolf form.
When we both get to the middle we eat at each other but it does not matter as both our wounds heal. It seems we are making out in a very animalistic way.