non-lucid

It's night, and I'm in a bed, but besides that I'm not certain where I am.

I'm in bed with Isata, an ex-coworker and maybe still-friend; in the past she's
told me that she feels comfortable being open with me and putting her trust in
me, and perhaps that's why in the dream we're sharing a bed (and a lack of
clothes), having a - very slightly - flirtatious conversation and are playfully
touching before cuddling to go to sleep - I don't receive from the dream the
impression that we're anything more than just friends.

She needs to do something - I was- and am- not certain what - and whilst I'm
still in the bed she kneel/walks on top of it, deliberately pausing when her
legs are apart above me and her crotch is close to my mouth; in spite of that,
she's surprised and angry when I try to begin to perform oral sex on her.

Things abruptly change - it's still night, but now I'm standing in the dining
room at my grandmother's house; I'm still naked - and now in a state of arousal
- but I don't seem to be perturbed by either of those things.

Whilst it's still night, my grandmother's house is partly on a
heavily-trafficked road, so there's sufficient second-hand artificial light to
see almost every detail in the room, and my mother - who also doesn't seem to be
perturbed by my nakedness or state of arousal - points out that there's a wasp
clinging to the net curtain; I try to kill it by crushing it with a scrunched-up
tissue and a jam jar or the lid of a jam jar, but it flies away, and I'm not
able to see where.

I awake with a start, my heart pounding, not because of a fear of the wasp, but
because of Isata's earlier reaction to me.

---

A few thoughts:

* Whilst the dream was far from a "wish fulfilment" dream - indeed, I don't
remember ever having a "wish fulfilment" dream - the relationship in the dream
is, I think, very close to my ideal sexual relationship: not a relationship
where sex is always a gesture of unplumbable romantic love; and - in spite of my
being an incel - definitely not a relationship where my partner is
more-or-less a living sex toy; but a relationship where sex is relaxed and
playful, two open and trusting friends trying to have fun.

* My wanting to perform oral sex on a girl I'm friends with, and so care about,
is not out of character for me - I likely learnt about cunnilingus before I
learnt about (male or female) masturbation, and, as a "safe" and "clean" way of
giving pleasure to a friend, it's something I've always wanted to try.

* However, my trying to kill a wasp is at least a little out of character for
me, as I'm pretty non-violent and, indeed, I prefer not to kill wasps if I'm
able to avoid it.

Jamie Dreams

I had one dream that was very hard to remember. Just one with her in it. she seemed very concerned about me.

In another dream I ran into her at the bar we first hung out at. She was with a group of friends she went up to me and said "If there's anyone who needs a hug it's this guy."

One other dream she changed her profile pic to a steering wheel? okay.


Rewind

Dreamed I was at a house party. After a while someone was killed and the dream rewound until the murder happened again. The third time I saw V from work there and we started talking. I noticed C staring at us and she looked sad. okay can she please not show up anymore?


Sister

I ran into C's sister somewhere and said, "Hi," just too be friendly. she was mad at me and said I made a comment earlier about her ass... Not like me to say something vulgar like that.

Dog

I kept getting mad at some yappie dog that kept waking me up...

I'm with my (dream)friend, a girl, kind of sporty wearing a flannel, at UMF but its not UMF. We're here for tryouts for this... game/thing/college/class.
Its being held down in the Roberts parkinglot, which is busier, with a building in the center. I pass Michelle Darling, hello.
There's a group of ppl who made it and those trickling out who didn't. The test is like, throwing these darts or catching them or something sporty.
She fails. But on her way out she catches one, but it doesn't count. I don't know if it counts or not.
I don't know how I pass, but I do. Eventually all the winners are left and are being guided away toward wherever we're going.
I look for her frantically, I don't want to be alone, but I know she's out.
In the crowd of people I see Rebecca! I have a dream memory of knowing she wanted to go back to school. I get in with her group and say hey.
We're stragglers. There's this big fat happy boy. I say something about my friend (another person, a winner) wants to go to this college thing to dismantle religion.
Everyone laughs.
Eventually we go to where we're going to be for the next like, 6 months.
Its a crystal cavern-turned-school. The cavern is the school. The crystals are super powerful. (This is some Hollow Knight bullshit).
The cavern is kind of 2D and there's a 'flat' back to it, even though it LOOKS like it goes deep. I wonder if we'll unlock it.
We go "right" into a huge chamber and are told some stuff, don't know. Its an important room.
We're herded into a crystal-cavern cafeteria-esque small room to the "left" of the flat center room and sit at tables. Its like everyone had been here before but I'm one of the new kids, even though we're all new: I'm like an hour late to the game or something. I ask the fat boy if I can sit next to him.
"OOO, your body!" referring to all my current bruises and scars. "Yeah I got too drunk camping." "This is my first time being drunk!"
I realize this is why they brought us here: a woman hands out a menu with only drinks. Mostly wine. He orders more wine. Chelsea is behind me and orders Coffee Brandy, but she calls it WBTB (lol). I have that flash-urge of "fuck sobriety" but I consider getting a coffee. Its like 2.98, the cheapest coffee and cream option. Tons of crazy chai coffee stuff, but all very expensive.
My vision flashes outside of myself and I see this crazy cackling headmistress kind of deal, and like a cinema/movie, I know she's got secret/subversive plans based on the "shot" of the scene. She's behind the flat part of the center room and zoom-slips through the crystalline hole. She lands on the outside of the cavern to the "right" -- we didn't know there was a behind. She punches the crystal and it super-charges something. This is "bad" ... she's not telling anyone she's doing this, she has some evil plan here.
My vision flashes again to a group of girls being shown the cavern for the first time. You can see the flash on the edges/seams of the room.
"WOAH," they say. Their faces are like half-drawn anime, I can see those vertical+horizontal face lines artist do, and I toggle the horizontal on and off with some dream-watcher power (not the me of the dream, the me of me/myself dreaming) and I realize they look half-drawn because the flash is so bright.
Then it subsides and I see their normal faces.
Flash back to me going back into the cafeteria room with everyone. The wine is being served.
"I think I forgot to order somehow" I say and the waitress/teacher (there's only like, 2 teachers here, she's one of them) sighs and says they can put in a last minute order for a price. Well, I guess, sure.
I ask her if she lives here year round, half knowing she must not, but just curious.
"Oh, no. This place is inaccesssible half of the year."

Some kind of time skip, and I'm on "leave" from the school, like a vacation or something.
I'm in Walmart in the back room. I came here very much on a mission. My job is like an assassination. I track people down with my team and tell them to go to jail or we'll kill them. We hunt out people who get away with bullshit.
I'm walking and I don't know who my target is until I do (the first person I see: I can feel the dream being made up as I go along).
Its Torrey. I feel bad, some part of me who knows it was random. But he sees us, my team and I, and knows what's coming.
I threaten him. I don't remember the exact words but I make the offer, tell him we know what happened.
"We have a graveyard for you all set up. Westskull or Eastskull cemetary, your choice. But I'd rather you atone. YOU MUST ATONE FOR YOUR SINS AND GO TO JAIL."
He's getting really nervous but refusing. He doesn't want either. He tries me: "How do you know, you have the paper?" "Yes, I do" "So you were in the cop car when it happened? I doubt it" and true doubt flashes on his face, but I know what my job is and I know I'm right, so I press onward. YOU MUST ATONE!!!
A roll-up door rolls up and a truck is parked out there. I have to get away from the situation, and I know my dream makes it up that I can dive under the truck like its my get-away vehicle, so it is (That dream faculty!). I do, and I'm nervous it won't work, that I'm making it up and he's going to get me, but the car rolls away and I'm unharmed as I'm dragged out of the building underneath it. In the parking lot I hop up into the cab.
I see my buddy, the driver, and know I'm safe. He has a super-long lens camera. I take it so he can drive.
We getaway. I fuck with the camera, but it won't stop zooming/adjusting. I go to turn the zoom off, but the body is super-blank.
"Simple camera," I say. "Yeah, it's probably not good." I finally take some shots. They look good. "Nah, it's great."

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a place that looks like a campus, with dorms. The dorms are mixed and open space. I am climbing stairs to go to my floor and pass by a floor where I encounter Evangelion. He is sleeping on a chair but somehow with his head upside down and I wonder if he is ok. He wakes up and says he's fine. He just likes to sleep like this. He shows me how he does it and I crack up laughing.
On another floor I meet Vera who is having a party lunch or dinner with friends and family. Carla also appears there by accident and sees me and stays for a little while just to say hello. She is with a dude and has some kid, but I don't think it's hers.
Then some crazy looking dude comes in without presenting ID and the security guard goes after him. He then shows him some ID, but then continues in a very fast pace, with a hood over his head, looking very disturbed. He really seems to be up to no good. I go to a parking lot to meet some friends on a car who offered me a lift. They are sitting in a convertible. But the driver is Evangelion and he hasn't yet come join us. I see something shining on the ground and see a few little things, like a porcelain jewel box which is filled with pendants made from teeth and gold decorations. It has a nice amount of gold. I also find other things not as valuable, bur ask Zilla for a bag and collect it all. Some dude in another convertible almost hits me while parking. Then almost hits a pole. Then I see Evangelion coming towards us. We go to his girlfriend's house. I end up on a sofa bed with him watching tv and there is an R rated comedy show playing that ends up with a couple trying to have sex but experiencing some technical difficulties. Then he says something like "why we have never tried to solve our difficulties?" And I ask what he means, since we never got involved like that. And he says that's exactly the difficulty we encountered, but maybe it's time to fix it. Then I realize we are both naked somehow and he slowly comes on top of me and kisses me. He always makes me laugh and he does so by saying "oh goodie, you just brushed your teeth". I remind myself that our friends and his girlfriend are in this house with us, I wonder what he is doing, but guess they are in an open relationship and I am too horny to care.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


On vacation with friends. They go hike up a mountain. I was also planning to go, but I miss it for some reason. Look at it from a distance. Don't want to give up. I find some Asian group renting a transport to go there and I go with them.
With my friends on top of mountain, there is an earthquake, we head for some type of railcar that goes downhill. But half way we see a river of lava flowing to our right side and crossing the rails a bit ahead of us. At that time some kids in very primitive clothing come out from the jungle around us and signal a stone platform where it is safe for us to jump to. When we are safe we follow them into the jungle. They never speak and when we try to talk to them, they get silently angry. They live in a small village and welcome us into different houses. The whole town is silent and soon we learn why. The forest is filled with dinosaurs and they keep this place secret by staying silent, since the dinosaurs don't naturally wander into this place except they know they're there.

With friends at a table. On another table is Rinpoche with other people. One of them comes tell me to go to that table and meet Julie A.. I get up and realize I am topless, but I just use my long hair to cover my breast. When I am there I can't even see Rinpoche properly as he is surrounded by so many people. But Julie hands me a kind of cornucopia shaped tube with something written on it. Some note telling me to take what's inside. But it is empty! Except when I go back to my table, when magically it becomes heavy and filled with some liquid that I almost completely spill - manage to drink a bit. Then some sort of biscuits appear and I eat a few. Seems dog food. I offer the rest to a dude passing by walking a bunch of dogs, for the benefit of the dogs. Then I try to read what else is written on the tube, but it becomes nonsensical and each time I read it, it changes. Then I remember it might be because I am dreaming, I get lucid but unfortunately I wake up.

Dream 1: I am once again inside the game apex legends. I dont know what character I'm playing but they seem really cool. It's a girl who reminds me of a glitch. The dreams starts on a mountain. My team mates are far down and I'm just looking around.

At some point there is a team of like 4 people attacking us. I'm on a very flat mountain. The top is almost like a plate. My other teammate is also on a mountain. I have 2 teammates on 2 small hills connected by a bridge on the right of my mountain. The scenery was beautiful.

All at once the 4 people attack us. Like 3 with my other two team mates and one on my teamate on the mountain. I start sniping at the enemy on the mountain. I miss a few shots and hit 2. The enemy jumps off the mountain and starts flying. She's dodging all of my shots. She lands behind me.

For some reason it takes her forever to get up. Almost like she's trying to be dramatic. I shoot at her and miss some shots somehow. And finally down her.

This is my favorite part, I go up to her and start a finisher. Whoever I am I bring out a sword. As soon as I swing at her neck it feels like a glitch. Thousands of tiny light blue particles cover her neck, and any blood. It was mesmerizing.

After all of this her teammates run away into a cave of water. And I chase them. I forget if anything else happens except for me taking a few shots at them in the dark.

Dream 2: it's my birthday and I'm at school. They give me a dinner of ham and potatoes and it's delicious. For some reason it's my teacher b. He died of cancer, but he's here. I wish I realized. And I would of if it wasn't for my schedule. He ask for everyone to call him. I do not know why.

But my friend A and him have a convo about her ex.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending Rinpoche's teachings but I am extremely sleepy. At some point I even get up and take a break. When I come back Rinpoche is gone.
The teachings are followed by nightly entertainment. Some girl comes to me with silly talk and I yell at her that all that is total bullshit, but I am not angry, more like amused with whatever she said. We see a pretty light display in the sky. Laser projections of a spaceship flying among planets and other cute things. The display is attracting people uphill through a dirt road. it is very dark, no electric lights. Then the path ends at some kind of three walled dead end with soviet movies being projected on the wall. It's cool, until a huge number of people keep coming uphill and pushing the ones already at the dead end. People start to panic, feeling claustrophobic, pushing each other. I feel panic too but I believe there is some door somewhere and after a while I find a door at the corner to my left. We open it and people start exiting with relief. Outside is actually an inside of a venue and there are people looking at the panel with info by the door, about the exhibition we just came from. They want to come in, but we tell them not to, that people are actually needing to get out from there.

Morning and people are departing on different buses. I am on a bus already leaving and see some familiar faces outside, sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a different bus. I see monks leaving the venue in another direction. Then I get lucid and get rid of the backpack I have on my lap. Accidentally, I hit a lady on her head with it, but I realize that if I don't care because she is a dream character, she will not react. And surely she doesn't. I get up from my sit and simply get through the glass window, but don't fly away. Instead I hang in the there, in the window frame, feeling the wind and enjoying the landscape. The bus is crossing a very high bridge and it's very vertiginous, but I like it. I make the bus go steeply up and down like a roller-coaster just for fun. The other passengers don't seem very please, but I keep reminding that they aren't real. Then the bus passes by a Bullfighting museum and I get the impression we are in Spain. I get out of the bus and get in the museum and start trashing it all using only telekinesis and chi blasts. It's very satisfying. Especially seeing the visitors of such dreadful place being blasted away. As I go deeper into this place, I pass some kind of patio with really beautiful stone floor, but the stones are very uneven and I am barefoot. I make some shoes appear on my feet and go deeper. Pass to a weirder area of this building, sort of descending to its catacombs and it gets sinister.[/COLOR] Most rooms I avoid, as they look familiar and I sense very creepy energy in them. Then I see a long staircase descending deep into the earth. The stairs and the walls look very organic. I sense danger too, but do not feel so much fear. I am attacķed by a dragon coming from the depths. I find some knight armors and other stuff lying around and I think I kill the dragon. Some weird creature, like an elf appears and says because I killed the dragon I am the heir of some saint or knight that fought dragons.
Then I find an exit to outside and I am at a train station, clearly at some Mediterranean town. Very pitoresque, very peaceful, very soothing. The weather is extremely nice but very cloudy. The clouds are luminous and the air is very light. I feel like singing and dancing and without any agenda, I just make love with the air and everything around me. I think of the guru and feel that he is all around me.

Even Worse recall this week. I've been focused on Fortnite. The cringiest game in the world...

First dream had C in it. She just seemed happy that's all.

Jamie

Jamie is at her computer screen again. I'm inside a dream on the other side of her screen, Her face is giant. She's talking to me and she seems concerned I'll go after C or something, because it seems I've developed a little crush. Don't worry I'll never act on it and I already screwed it up with her majorly.

a couple other dreams with C in it. One I was in an eediting course on fortnite. Can't remember any details. just that she was there.

any other dreams are just too foggy to recall

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Seems like an energy plant, but cant really tell what is the energy source. I am on a platform that moves and I am having trouble holding on to it as it gets very inclined.
Some big dudes come to get me, I feel like I trespassed the place. They want to arrest me. I entered the facility without permission. But I manage to escape and I run to the place where we can enter another section of this world I live in. It is a second class, marginalized wasteland. Yet they have guards at the door and do not allow just anybody in. I pretend to be a hooker. They look suspicious but they let me in. It is a rough place and at some point I have a fist fight with someone, don't know the reason. But I am trying to bring info to someone about the power plant I invaded.

Subnautica dream
I am at the Lost River in the cyclops submarine, located at an entrance to it which is just a large hole in the seabed. I am walking around the upper part of the ship while large so-called "ghost leviathans" attacking me. The cyclops seems to be invincible, yet the ghost leviathans are still able to push it around. One glitches through the ship hull and throws me back a bit. I remember being at a different location, likely the safe shallows, for a bit, before suddenly being back at the Lost River. I then drive the Cyclops through the hole into the Lost River.

I only remember that I see a shelf cloud and that some stuff involving the supercell happens throughout the dream in multiple locations.

---

Didn't really feel motivated to document my dreams lately. Had a lot of dreams that I didn't want to share.

By the way, I should probably do a reality check every time I think about, hear or see a supercell, shouldn't I?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At a nudist swimming pool with my mom. We go take a shower before going to the pool and it's all genders mixed. Robert Mueller is taking a shower there. He is to friendly and gets to close and his penis touches me. I feel very uncomfortable but my mom seems to like him... until he kisses a younger guy that arrives and then she feels a bit shocked. He asks if we are ok with it. I say I am (now his dick touching me doesn't affect me much) but my mom is suggesting it isn't ok by her. We have a bunch of stuff to put in the lockers, but they are all taken. She decides to just leave stuff on the ground over a towel, but I go back because I think some one will steal it. I find a Chinese and an Indian or Pakistani dude putting prices on our stuff and trying to sell it. I have an argument with them, they get a bit scared, asks me for proof it is my stuff. I raise my voice and say I am ready to fight and they back of. (sorry for this sort of racist dream)

In a nerd convention with Riverstone. We are sitting at a table, eating and drinking. I won some contest but it's because I followed a hint from him. Something about a quote that I guess it's from Star Wars. They call half a dozen winners to the front of the stage to hand the prizes (several electronic items). They are all marked with our names but someone used a marker that disappears on touch causing a chaos. Meanwhile, some Latin dude in a camouflage jumpsuit is walking among us, and someone yells he wants to kill someone. I look back and he has an electronic command in his hand and points it over all our heads to a nearby stand. There is an explosion. He is pinned down by people and some of us run to the stand to help whomever needs help but luckily everybody is ok. There were also some kittens on a box for adoption and even they are ok. I pick them up and kiss them gently. Then I meet Riverstone who had lost me in the chaos and is sick worried.

Lisbon is very changed, lots of tourists, even more than nowadays. I am taking a tour under the theme of urban art. At the Anjos area, some guy spots me at a distance and starts yelling announcing me. I don't remember his face but I go check if it is someone I know. It is some guy from my activism days. And he was yelling at his friends, but a bunch of them has already left in a car. They get however suck in traffic not so far ahead, so they wave at me. They aged, some are fatter, other grew beards. The one guy left behind takes me to visit a girl who now works in a fancy restaurant of a famous chef. She looks like Guiomar. She shows me around, the chef is baking some cakes and I say I am hungry but are they vegetarian? The chef says no.
Then my friends have some gifts for me that they say I must absolutely take: a kind of wooden centerpiece with colorful paintings.

Then I get to see through the eyes of some guy who robbed a museum with some friends and he is now on a wheelchair. He wants to revisit the place and a friend says not to or they'll catch him, but he is not worried. They do catch him but he doesn't feel so bad about it. Asks what's in the menu in the prison. I think he actually wanted to be caught.

Dream 1: a dream where my throat is very itchy and uncomfortable. I think I'm sick and search online for a remedy.

After that me and my friend go outside(this dream takes place at some weird version of my grandma's house). We enter what I think is a road. The whole town is different from waking life so I dont know where I'm going.

Eventually me and him find a boat. We climb on and go. Th inside of this boat must be much bigger then from the outside because inside is a small casino.

My friend has an idea. He opens a cooler and gets some beer. We run thinking we did a bad thing.

He gets some root beer cans and says that we need to drink to about 1/5 of it.

I get home by the end of all of that. I proceed to go ok the backside of the house and drink. It was very sweet and tasty

Dream of spending time around a time like Nimbin, wearing dress, old massage school, herbs, health foods, find pants, fighting boys, flee town.

In this dream I spent a afternoon and night adventuring around the town of NB. The town had a real hippy alternative feel to it with lots of market stalls, lovely colors everywhere etc etc.

Well, I find myself in a Shopping mall wearing a Dress! ( I'm a guy ). Somehow, I fit right in with all the other crazies and all's fun and good. I bump into some people I knew from years ago from a massage school I attended. They were running classes in a side room in the shopping mall.

I waltz into the room in my dress and peer around. Theres half a dozen people inside inlcuding the teach, they are all practicing Shiatsu! Tapping the teaching on the should, who I recognize, I yarn with him for a bit then happily move on.

Outside, theirs a nearby shop that sells clothes and healthy foods! Hmm, I wanna find some trendy hippy hemp pants so I go in the shop. However, I feel a bit like a poor hobo and the shop lady eyes me of suspiciously. Acting innocent, I look around, eye of the food and clothes then walk back outside.

Continuing my mission to find pants and get out of the dress, I walk up and down the street, looking at various stalls and trying to find the right one. Its night time by now. Finally, I find some nice pants and YAY, i'm out of the dress.

Walking around town, I see a bunch of young teenage guys goofing around on a small bank next to a road. I walk up to them and next thing I know, they are attacking me! Well, being much larger and stronger, I hold my ground and toss them around playfully, but you know what? Theirs strength in numbers! I start getting a bit knocked about too and start getting a bit aggressive.

After tossing them around, knocking a few heads together and blackening a couple of eyes, I feel like my frustrations have been vented! One of the boys starts crying and runs off to find his dad.

Just then, my dad turns up in his car! "Quick, lets leave" he loudly whispers to me, "Those boys you beat up have rich and influential parents!

Hmm, time to go, I jump in the car and escape!

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

With a group of friends heading to the door of some mafia dude to ask something. We get there and he is throwing a family party for his daughter who is having a birthday or going to marry. Hard to say. They have a skating ring in the house, invite us to skate and I feel like it, but the others point out that we are there for serious business. I thought they were Russian or Armenian, but then they all start dancing merengue and salsa and I think again that they must be South American. We leave empty handed.

I am walking with a group of people. Feels like the kids from my extra curricular activities when I was also a kid, but I am an adult. Then I leave them and go alone across VFX. Come across a guy who recognizes me. His face isn't strange to me either, I think he went to primary school with me. I ask hiss name and it is something like Leonildo.

A company of stone pavement is going bankrupt. I have worked there and go there just to get something back. Cross path with the manager saying it is our fault? I make a scandal and question him "Us, who? I think you mean the admins in suit who run this shit, not the workers!" He admits it. He leaves frustrated.