non-lucid

Notable day substances: No caffeine (decaf coffee, blech)

I woke up for WBTB after about 4 hrs of sleep and then stayed up for about 25m. Getting back to sleep was a little slow.


Dream 1 - Recalled when waking up to WBTB

Tami and Zoë are studying for upcoming finals or something. Zoë is really struggling with something so I offer her some programming to help. It’s just one line of python code that is totally irrelevant to what she’s doing, something similar to:

Study = pd.read_csv(‘data/finals.csv’)

She doesn’t really understand, so I mention that she doesn’t really have to know what it does but just to apply it whenever she’s stuck



Dream 2 - Recalled when waking up to WBTB

I’m in an area that can be best described as where the orcs were working underground in Lord of the Rings. Where there’s lots of fire and mud, gears and machines and scaffolding.

I’m on one of the scaffolds and there is a huge machine in front of me, gears whirring - it’s covered in a thick black oil lubricant which is being splattered everywhere from the mechanical parts moving.

The center of the largest gear is eye level to me, it has a rectangular aperture that begins to slowly open - revealing its interior.

But instead of gears and fire and whatever would be expected to be going on inside, it revealed a view of the inside of a Target/Walmart sort of store. The contrast from my dirty, glowing environment to the clean fluorescent lit view of the store was shocking. The rectangular aperture grew until it was just large enough for me to climb through, which I did.



I was now inside the store and it wasn’t the same as a normal superstore. There were cubicles here and there with people working in them and there were no shoppers. I ‘knew’ that this wasn’t a store for customers but for employees to work, even though there was merchandise everywhere.


So now I’m sneaking through this place, feeling like I don’t belong here. I run into RacheL and Kevin who are casually walking through one of the main paths. RacheL is happy and in a carefree mood while Kevin seems kind of moody, we seem to talk for a moment.

I run into RacheL and Kevin who are walking through the store. RacheL is happy and in a carefree mood but Kevin is reserved and broody. We are talking and walking together now.

We end up finding this long winding 'road' that transcends the store in an upward spiral*. There is no more ceiling, it's night time and the stars speckle the sky. We continue to walk up it.

I feel kind of happy and free, though I feel nostalgic towards RacheL. I felt melancholy. **



Dream 3 - Recalled when waking up to WBTB

Possibly a continuation of the last dream, I'm now in a Jeep with either Bugsy or Bill driving. I feel like Tami/Zoë/RacheL may be there too.

I'm simultaneously in this car yet also have full vision of a game I'm playing with James. It's like a top down sort of 2D shooter style game.

The game is high stakes, something bad would happen to us if we lost and something good if we won.

At one point there are so many enemies around us I mention to James we should switch to area of effect attacks. We seem to be doing pretty well.

Simultaneously, in the Jeep Bugsy/Bill is drifting around corners and has no clue what he's doing.




Dream 4

James, Elisabeth and I are standing on small floating icebergs in the ocean. The beach is nearby behind us and it looks like we hopped from tiny iceberg to iceberg to where we are now.

Elisabeth is out the farthest on a massive iceberg, James is hopping his way over to her and I'm behind him.

I'm thinking just how bad it would be if he slipped and fell in the water, which happens on his next jump.

He swims over to Elisabeth and she pulls him out. I shout over to him saying we have to get out of here ASAP, the exposure is going to kill him. James tried to jump back onto the previous spot he was on but his coordination is all messed up from how cold he is and he ends up back in the water.

I'm thinking he's almost certainly going to die here. I look around for options and notice there's somehow a chain link fence behind me. It goes all the way back to the shore.

I grab it and shake it to feel how sturdy it is, feels pretty firm. Then I see a really long wooden rod leaning against it. It's very long and one end is resting on the seafloor.

James is still trying to get out of the water, I tell him to just swim to me instead which he does.

I get him to hold onto the iceberg I'm on somehow and then use the rod to push us back to shore pretty fast.

Elisabeth hopped back and was with us rather quick and then we all went to my car.

I asked James just how cold the ocean felt when he fell in but he was shaking too violently to answer, I guess that answers that!


*Reminiscent of my upward spiral platform dream in the void recently.
**This is all most likely from some news I heard from RacheL the other day.

Coding with J:
I'm with my Uncle J in a covered parking lot area outside a Barnes and Noble bookstore.
He's praising me for finishing a new fantasy book I had just bought.
He hands me a new red book. It has instructions for learning to code using the 'X' social platform.
The pages have colored-coded code with brackets and guides. I remember that I read up to page 5.
The pages have moving images, so it isn't strictly print. It claims that all kinds of media can be coded into the platform.


Learning to code on X.

Been feeling like garbo recently, low motivation too.


Notable day substances: No caffeine

Dream 1

I find out that Jimmy Carter lives down the street by the PA house. James is talking to him and sort of doesn't know what to say. Carter is talking about passing away or something to that effect.



Dream 2

Mogmi is trapped under Tami's car. I look underneath and he looks passed out, the back tires are on his front paws and if she drives forward she would hit his head. Tami's panicking and I tell her that she has to go in reverse just very slightly and absolutely do not go forward. I go underneath the car to move him as soon as the car starts moving.

Doubt:
I'm in a bar that reminds me of a nightclub back in California.
I'm with my girlfriend and some coworkers of hers.
I'm feeling jealous and concerned that her younger male coworkers are interested in her.
I remember my mental training and reason that she hasn't hurt me, and I should trust her unless/until she does.
One of the men approaches me and suggests that my trust is misplaced.
...
I've left the bar and I see the same group of guys walking up ahead with her.
I talk to one of the guys and he seems OK, a friend in an emotional storm.
I decide to continue trusting her, ignoring my discomfort.

Jungle Flight:
I'm driving my car up a steep hill.
The car fails and I start to fall backward.
...
I'm at a sort of car agency.
A man in a suit is selling me not a car, but a type of hover-bike.
I'm pretty excited about the hover-bike.
...
I'm in a jungle environment, but the hover-bike has changed into a hand-held flight device.
The area is beautiful, almost euphoric.
I can't recall the exact mechanism, but the device is similar to one-handed flight devices from previous dreams.
I carefully pilot myself into a tiki-bar looking area with a bar and restaurant, but don't land.
I may have been on a tour of the area with others.

Fragment:
My friend AG is admiring some wood polish on a chair and table at my Grandma P's house.


Flying through the jungle using a handheld device.

Apologies for not updating recently, The wifi at home is worse than dial up. Can't even load a webpage to update my dj.

Jamie dream (Almost a month ago?) I was standing outside somewhere with some family and saw my aunt smoking and standing by her Dodge caravan. Now I know she doesn't smoke so i'm really perplexed. I go to confront her on this. Someone calls behind me I look and at the end of the driveway is a woman with long brown hair and eyes light grey like a wolf. She's waving me down but somehow I don't recognize her, but I'm still focused on why my aunt is smoking so, I ignore the woman's "Ooh ooh, over here." and continue talking to my aunt. It wasn't until I woke up I realized it was a visit from Jamie.

Second dream I am furiously writing Jamie a really long Facebook message... Dear God, I sincerely hope I never have to do that again. It's been 5 years?!?!?!? Since I did such a thing and no response indicates that she likely doesn't want one either.

Dreams this week.

1. In this one I go to this park forest area in the middle of a city and hang out with people in the middle of the night. very vague on the rest of the details

2. Some skanky looking younger woman indicates she wants me to sleep with her. I take her number somewhat reluctantly, because i seem to be horny enough. But later in the dream and just message her that I'm no longer interested since I already have a girl coming in. (I think in the dream I was expecting Jamie to come into my life suddenly.

3. I am on a roadtrip in the middle of the night. I'm tired so I find an abandoned hospital looking place to stay the night in. While there a couple pulls up to spend the night as well. It's Victoria and her boyfriend (The victoria I worked with that didn't die from covid )

4. I find myself on a Date with a girl from India. We just get along really nicely. Can't remember much. just that she was leaning against a railing, we got talking and went for a coffee or something.

Seems like most of the dreams were trying to distract me from finding Jami in a dream... hmmm.

Notable day substances: No form of caffeine



Dream 1

I'm standing in the shallow spot of a river.

I'm holding a 'water piccolo' that is attuned to the river. I jump into a deeper part of the river and the river spirit teleports me way downstream.

I forget what I do here but I later find myself in the same shallow spot in the river later on.

I wade down towards the spot where the river becomes deep again and I jump in, again holding the water piccolo. I expect to be teleported, but this time it doesn't happen.

Instead, I can't control my legs now and I slowly sink to the bottom of the river.

I gain the dream knowledge that the river spirit decides when it's your time to go, and this was my time.

Struggling and losing clarity of mind is the default/beginner's way to die, the river spirit tells me. I try to pass in meditation.



Dream 2 - Fragment

I receive a package from booky. I open it, it's a VHS on machine learning that I 'left' at his place. It’s in a Blockbuster sort of shell, but it had a different name that began with an S, like Sharp or something.

I was in the garage, I snatched some brown liquid which may have been booze off the ugly plywood shelf. one of my parents waled in the room so I hid the bottle behind my back and pretended I was about to do the dishes.

I walked past a hot tub or pool, there were some people talking. I didn't feel like joining them so I walked into an area which resembled an underground parking garage. I was then walking in a large tunnel, like one a highway would go through. There were a bunch of people around me, most looked normal but there were more bums than you'd see in the average crowd. I saw some people in white aprons run into a wide hall. i followed them, they scooped noodles and chicken and a bunch of other chinese looking foods into plastic containers which they took to their stand in the middle of the main hall, so they could be sold for 3 bucks.I walked along more and saw an area with a few cars and some dirt bikes. I got into the back seat of a car, and a man outside gave the guy next to me money. I forgot who started it but we were suddenly fighting, the guy next to me was being strangled by the one outside, and the one in front was elbowing me. I then left the car and continued down the tunnel which led me into a whole foods. I walk back and now the chinese food stand has switched to sushi. I keep walking, I end up in a smaller room with a lot of clutter.

Dream 1

I find a shortcut to some sort of ultimate last boss in a WoW like game, Tami is grouped with me.

The shortcut takes us behind the boss where a large treasure chest is. Normally a raid would only gain access to this spot after defeating this boss, who is still alive and in fairly close proximity to the treasure. The boss is some sort of giant undead lich with possessed chains encircling it - it's giving some strong spellcaster vibes and has a purple aura about it.


When I get close to the treasure it gets the attention of the lich, which howls towards us and I get a curse debuff applied to me along with multiple other extremely harmful spells. The ground crumbles and gives way and we fall into the ocean. We die shortly after and respawn in a Stormwind-like city.

I notice I still have one of the curses applied to me. It has a bunch of negative effects but it also reduces all of my spell casting times to instant and removes the global cool down.

To test this out I cast a powerful healing spell that should take 10 seconds to pull off usually. It casts instantly and my character raises his arms to deliver it. I try spamming the ability and since it wasn't meant to be done so quickly he repeats the completion animation over and over and his arms reach into the sky more and more until they're comically stretched about 10 feet into the air.




Dream 2

I'm in the PA house 'suite' area*, when I look out the window through the driveway is from the VI house.

I see a tractor trailer in the driveway, the back is open as a man is taking a large package out. He's heading towards the main doors.

Meanwhile a woman he's working with is holding a clipboard, and is near my door. She's waiting for him to put down the package before she knocks and gets me to sign, but he keeps going back for more large packages.

She calls out to him "How many more packages are we delivering?" He calls back "Nine in total!”. She responds with something along the lines of she wishes they were all for her.

Now the delivery guy is coming in and out of the room I'm in and I attempt to pay little attention to the situation but I'm on high alert. I notice the desk I'm at now has tools all over it like screwdrivers and wrenches and that underneath the desk has many drawers also full of tools.

Something is tugging on the lower right side of my shirt, I look down to see a girl that's maybe six years old or so. She's asking me random kid-like questions.

I look to find her parents and run into the delivery guy, I ask him if she's his child. He says " Oh yeah sorry about that! It's just something work is making us do, bring our kids to work today ya know?"

Behind him is his wife who I didn't see till now, who has their second daughter with her. I 'know' that this isn't her job and she's not normally in this situation. She has a 'very stressed, but making it work' kind of look on her face, her blonde hair is very messy. I feel upset that they're in this situation.


After dropping the girl off with them I want to figure out what's going on with this delivery etc, so I find the woman with the clipboard and ask her if these packages are for me.

She answers saying it's a country wide package lottery event that everyone was drawn into and that I won. She may have mentioned they were appliances.

*I really focused yesterday on the fact that I have so many PA house dreams. So I mentally went through the house when I was awake and reminded myself that if I see any of these places that I am certainly dreaming. Of course this dream was in one of the only places I forgot about, and one of the last changes to the house before I moved from there.

I get sucked into a front loading washing machine where I am fused with Bender. I fly out with my new cyborg arm fans and land. I then wonder what I have done, I feel like my life has went by too fast. I then look at the machine again, I think that maybe if I enter it again I can get 28 years and 9 days back, but I wonder what I will be fused with this time. I go back in, and am unfused from Bender and some fast food sign.

My mind was really active all night working on some ideas, I feel like my recall and focus really suffered from that.
I was taking a break from caffeine to see how it effected dreaming but I think I was going off it a little too fast. I've been having lots of headaches from that so I'm going to go back to just one coffee in the morning for now and maybe taper off slowly.


Dream 1

I’m in a living room watching tv with Emma and Kaya. Kaya and her are acting best friends in this dream (they’ve never met IWL). Emma is pregnant now and she’s no longer engaged, she seems to be flirting with me, I’m put off by the whole thing.

I begin walking out of the room and I hear Emma mention to Kaya that she wants a huge ruby for her wedding ring from whoever she’s going to marry next.

I end up in the bathroom, I look in the mirror and I’m me at 16. I look at myself closely and forgot about this haircut I used to have. The representation of myself is very accurate.



Dream 2

James, Elisabeth and I are eating some sort of soup at my place. Elisabeth and I are joking around, doing impressions.

I’m now holding a box which is apparently what the soup came in. On the back of it near the bottom underneath all of the cooking steps it says “If you want to order this soup in our restaurant, it will be listed on the menu as “Barney Cologne”!

Then there was an icon at the bottom, it was Barney’s face head on with his typical mouth open smile look. It was a RIP tribute honoring him saying something about even though Barney was made fun of often, he just wanted to make children happy. I kind of frown at this and think something like ‘wtf IS this?’

I didn’t have much strong feelings in this dream either way.



Dream 3

Tami, Zoë and I are hanging out at the H-Town house. Tami and I are in the bedroom at the end of the hall, laying in bed talking. I can’t recall much else.

Fragment: I am on the BFI (British Film Institute) website, although it has a different name - three letters beginning with C. The homepage has a background of a wooden house surrounded by grassy fields where the wind is blowing softly. Somewhere on the site I am looking at a listing for a set of second-hand books (this is not something they would sell). The books are about the 'Crown Collection' and the series of 5 costs $8. I think this sounds pretty exciting and show my mum, but she scoffs that that is a stupid purchase. Surely I don't really want those books? I am awed by her scornful attitude.

Notes:

- Now that's the second time I've visited a website in a dream. Perhaps I should reality check when visiting websites. Just ask myself if what I'm looking at should really be on this site and why.
- The books really were priced in dollars, not pounds...
- I think a dream sign might actually be my mum being rude to me.

I didn’t feel all that great yesterday, so I gave myself a break and didn’t sleep with any strong dream recall intentions.



Dream 1

I'm in the PA house*, hall bedroom on the right. I'm laying in the bed and I notice there's all of these dead looking plants hanging in transparent green 3D printed plant pots** on the wall. There's about five of them in a row.


They look like they really need water and they're leaves are all hanging down. The leaves are bowl shaped and they're holding some water in them.

Sunlight begins to hit the wall as the sun rises and it hits the first plant. The leaves respond by slowly lifting up to their full height, causing the water to stream down from the leaves into the soil. I think to myself "So that's why its leaves are shaped like that.. A plant that waters itself!"***

The sun spreads across the wall as it dances through the blinds and various trees from outside. Each plant responds to the sunlight the same.



Dream 2 (probably a continuation from the first dream)

I'm in the PA house, living room. There's music playing from the speakers. There's some sort of family gathering and everyone is doing art, I only remember specifically seeing Katie's face. I'm not too interested in what's going on here.

I go upstairs to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. In here there's also speakers in sync playing the same song which was “Savage Garden - I Want You”****. I turn the volume up to the max and lean my forehead against the system and close my eyes. The bass is rippling through me and it feels like I'm getting a full body massage. It’s so strong I feel like my heart is skipping beats. I say 'woah' but it comes out all choppy from the music.



Dream 3

I'm some sort of superhero and I'm writing a letter to a little girl. I'm trying to break it to her that I'm losing my superpowers.

I draw an image of me flying with a cape, holding a car over my head.


Then I draw an image of me walking, explaining that I can't fly anymore.


There were a few more images and notes that I forget. I finish the letter writing that I'm still working on making the world a better place but now I'll have to do it like normal people.

I say something about how we have the same abilities now and that she can be a superhero too.


* I should focus more that this place is a dream sign.
** The same plant holders I printed a few years ago for fun.
*** Another often dream sign seems to be these ‘aha!’ moments where I’m trying to understand something.
**** This is most likely because I checked out the DV Discord recently and listened to a song Lang shared that made me think ‘This sounds so much like savage garden’

Dream 1

I’m jumping up from floating circular platform to circular stone platforms with simple circular Celtic designs on them, they’re ascending. I look down to see where I came from, more circular platforms spiral down into the blackness. Besides the platforms, I don't see anything else that exists.


Dream 2 - I woke up around 5:30-5:45am briefly to change positions but decided to try to recall my dream which came to me very easily. I decided to try writing it down now rather than when I wake up later like I usually do.

I'm in the PA house, downstairs by the Ivy window. I realize I only have until the end of the day to finish and submit an assignment. On my phone it shows as a red 7 hrs left (till midnight) - so I guess it was 5:00pm in this dream

Some guy is outside in a truck slowly driving through the neighborhood. I look and see that the driver is a really young guy and that his full sized truck is actually a really souped up ATV (allowing him to drive it without a license) - making me think he must have some pretty wealthy parents.

He notices me watching him and revs up the hill.

I avoid my homework by going out for a bicycle ride. It's nice and sunny out. I begin going down a hill.

I notice some people that fell on the road and I almost hit them so I brake as hard as I can and pull to the right, I hit into the bumper of a parked car.

There's two men and a lady. One man and the lady were in the grass on the side of the road, and the other man was in the middle of the road.

They must've been riding as well, as their bikes are nearby, I'm not sure how they fell.

I go over to help one guy up who looks like he'd be a giant if he were standing, like maybe 9 ft tall. I grab his arm then lean back to help lift him as he stumbles to his knees, then rocks back to the balls of his feet before standing upright to his massive height.

The way he went through the motions of getting up had me saying to him "woah, easy there transformer!" And then I produce the 'transforming' sound effect from the old show. It comes out of my mouth/throat with these crazy electronic-robotic vibrations/sounds and is a completely accurate representation of the sound*, my awareness spikes from how strange this is and I almost get lucid! We look at each other like in a 'How the fuck did that just happen' kind of way.

We both laugh for a sec over how weird that was. As my semi-lucidity dims.

I check on the others that are on their feet now, and one of them was director Paul, which I am so surprised to see here (also semi lucid)

"Wow, hey what's up Paul how've you been?" He's also surprised to see me and a bit embarrassed over the situation.

I say that I've got to get going, which I can tell rubs Paul the wrong way. I think he wanted some fanfare in front of his friends or something. As I'm walking away I can hear the woman (one of the ppl that fell) ask Paul "oh, you two know each other?" And I barely heard Paul respond "Yeah, we've worked on some film projects together...."

Then another woman pops up and is walking with me "You know Paul too huh?" She asks. She's has an energy about her of assertiveness and exudes confidence in how she walks. She's wearing a light colored, kind of flowy dress and possibly boots?

I fill her in on how Paul and I know each other a bit, I don't think she really cares about that, it's more like she's on a mission for us hanging out which I'm fine with, she has a really fun energy to her.

We're walking to my place now, apparently I live in an apartment that is attached to the airport. We're walking down a long hall at the airport that leads to my apt.

She kind of side hugs me while we're walking and mentions something about messing around when we get there. I tell her that I think she's great, but will have to pass since I'm currently in a relationship. She jokingly lets go of me and straightens up and does a quick salute and says "yes sir!" In the deepest voice she can muster, before relaxing and getting closer again, holding my arm.

We're coming to the end of the airport hall now and Jenny is the security guard there! She has shades on and smiles brightly at us and hands my companion a pair of sunglasses saying "Now with the other ones I gave you, you've got a set" , but then sort of realizes that she's not Tami and frowns a little and looks at me like 'hrmmm?', I just think "eh it's not like that Jenny'' and slightly shake my head at her, but don't say anything and we keep walking. My new sidekick is looking at the sunglasses. I notice the sunglasses are two toned and I point out how the colors match her dress, she likes that and puts them on the top of her head.

We stop at a desk on the way to the apartment as the dream begins to fade and she shows me something she's written down, it's hard to remember what but it was sort of in a crossword puzzle-style. She holds it right in front of my face for a bit and raises her eyebrows as if she was expecting me to clue in on something.

I don't remember what else happened, I have the feeling we made it into the apartment but the dream ended at entering the door. I don't know if this is because I'm writing this down at 6:00am right after the dream rather than when waking up later, but holy shit the details are clear. And that feels like the first dream which someone in it felt like a real person, that woman. It was like she was aware of something. Everyone else felt like regular dream characters. I got close to lucidity a few times, wooo!

*I ended up finding this sound online and I can't believe how accurately it was reproduced in the dream

No recall from last night, going to put down my dreams from the previous night though.


Dream 1

I’m in a hospital waiting for a surgery or something. Two nurses begin prepping a ‘surgical pool cue’ for me. I have to hold it and rotate it slowly as they glue round metallic objects on the end of it. There were some technicalities regarding the cue tip as it had to be designed based on a fraction of the measurements of my body, though it just looked like a normal (but metallic) cue tip to me.

After the surgery I find myself at home and I’m describing to Tami how funny the idea of a ‘surgical pool cue’ was, but also just how well made it felt. For example how polished it was, it was more like an art exhibit piece.

Then we both notice it beside me and that I must’ve accidentally brought it home with me. So I started showing it to her in person, but it’s kind of different than before. Now it’s kind of got this textured wavy dark pattern all over it which makes me a little upset that it didn’t match my previous description to Tami - it made me feel like I betrayed her in some small way by not providing an accurate description of it.


Dream 2

I’m piloting a large mech, one of the arms I control has a massive drill on it. I head over to the side of a dirt hill which is sheared and vertical, like some massive machine just took a chunk out of it.

I test out the drill on this dirt wall for fun and it very easily carves into the wall. I felt free and really enjoyed how intuitive all of the movements were in this mech.

I then head over to a cliff which overlooks a very large lake. There’s a man there and he points out a massive truck-like vehicle that sits at the bottom of the lake. It's very rusty and looks ancient, it’s a beautiful view.


Apparently we live in some sort of micro-community that is working in this area, and it would somehow be really beneficial if we could remove this rusty structure/vehicle from the lake - even if we were to move it half a kilometer or less.

We go over the details of the depth of the water and how feasible it would be to try to get in the water with mechs, without destroying them by going too deep into the water. Among other ideas we consider having divers go down to attach metal cables onto the structure, and then tie the other sides of the cables onto mechs on the land and then sort of drag it in a certain direction.


Dream 3

Allen is in the PA house, parents room. He has hundreds of black binder clips clipped to his clothing. All arranged so that the non-black tong parts are facing down, if that makes sense.

(They were facing the opposite direction as they are in this generated image)

I kind of went into the room to see this, he stares at me and I just stare at him and take it all in then laugh about it. He then laughed too and was in a genuinely good mood, which is so unlike him.

I walk away and run into Sue, who informs me that Allen updated some sort of contract making me legally obliged to do housework or something for them - it was called ‘the ring contract’, which she showed me on a clipboard - that had a heavy elaborate ring placed on the middle of the papers on it.

I feel strange and betrayed, and just let down.



Dream 4

I was in a garage playing some sort of wind instrument, possibly a didgeridoo. Someone puts some milkshake-like stuff in my hoody, and a friend's hat or something? But I didn’t notice until a minute or two after it happened. I was really upset about this and wandered out into a parking lot and crawled into the open hatch back of the car that I was certain the owner of this car was the one that milkshake-hooded me.

The entire two front seats and the floor were just filled with the same milkshake stuff, which I spat in to get back at them.

Everything about this dream felt so childish, definitely some sort of middle school pranking vibes. Also some feelings of betrayal which seems to have been the theme of this night!