non-lucid

‎Not last night but the night before I was having some trouble getting to sleep so I tried some mirtazapine for the second time. From my biometrics, and what I felt, it looks like it pretty much eliminates REM sleep. Which makes sense why people that are on it regularly say that it causes extremely vivid dreams - the REM rebound probably builds over days until it's forced to be incorporated eventually and comes through as really powerful dreams. With that in mind I most likely won't be experimenting with this one much more going forward, I felt really unrested the following day.

It was a struggle to recall these dreams this morning.


‎Dream 1

There are about five or so women laying down. They’re talking about work. One of them has the luxury of taking off as much time as she wants whenever she wants and she’s bragging about this.

I’m a short distance from them yet in an entirely different environment. It’s almost as if they’re on a beach and I’m in a bathroom. This dream was very loose with visuals.



Dream 2

There is a cliff that drops about 100 ft. At the midway point of the cliff and the ground there are stone triangular structures jutting from the cliff, they're very polygonal and reminiscent of structural shapes too. I hop across these as I run and walk.



Dream 3

There is an enormous black room, how deep is unclear as it fades to blackness in all directions. There is a small metal scaffolding platform with a door nearby. A naked asian man hangs in the middle of this space by a bunch of black straps around his shoulders and thighs that hang from the blackness above.

A naked woman emerges from the door and also attaches straps to herself and hangs with the asian man above the void. They begin having sex and now appear to be covered in oil. They’re both very lean and athletic, it's a very sensual scene. There is a large window facing them, behind it is an old white haired balding scientist. He’s wearing a white lab coat and is quickly writing down notes with a clipboard as he observes this scene. This whole ‘experiment’ was set up by him.

The woman was the dream character that had the flexible schedule from dream 1.



Dream 4

I’m bringing donuts to the place the five ladies from earlier are working. They’re excited about this but they’re saying something about how someone else should be here for this too. Apparently someone wasn’t there and called off work. Half the time they’re referring to them as she, and the other half as he.

‎After my last dream of the night I recalled my dreams in bed and then visualized my last dream as if it were to continue. It went from a daydream to nearly lucid-dream clear for a moment but then faded back to a daydream and I got up for the day shortly after.



Dream 1

I'm on a cruise ship or ferry. B and S are there eating at a buffet. B was carrying around a large white mannequin* There was an ice bucket for champagne, he threw the mannequin like a spear head first into it. I have a device similar to the dragonball tracker that shows B on it. It shows him as a light green circle on a green grid moving about the buffet.



Dream 2

I'm in a small neighborhood and I'm not sure which house is mine. I enter a house just as a van starts parking in the driveway. I realize it's not my place so I leave hastily.

I begin heading towards another house, a father and his son were in my way at one point. The kid was on a tricycle asking me to play and the dad said something like "Oh this man looks like he's busy, let's let him go do what he has to do".

I enter another house and 'remember' that I'm on some sort of trip here with friends. I look at the shoes in the doorway and decide none of them belong to any of my friends so I leave.

I enter yet another house and by the time I'm halfway through I decide I don't recognize it and use the door on the opposite side of the house to leave. But it leads to a small apartment instead. There is a staircase that goes up to a small second floor which has a bannister that overlooks down into the area I'm in.

There is also a door directly in front of me that looks like it would go outside. I go and open it and it does take me outside, but I hear someone behind me saying "Hello?" I turn around and there's a guy on the second floor by the railing, he has a towel on and his hair is wet. Must've just gotten out of the shower.

I explain to him that I'm lost and apologize for entering his home. He doesn't seem to mind that and says he recognizes me. Then he asks if I'm James's brother and I learn that they're friends.

We end up talking about LAN parties, Halo CE, and modded X-Box's.



Dream 3

Tami and I are at a car dealership. The white cop car that I sold to that woman and her family in my dream the other night is parked there!** Tami and I are looking at some other cars and then leave. As we are leaving we are talking about a strange car we see in the lot. We end up u-turning to park again to take a look at it.

I notice the white cop car has drifted out of its parking spot. I push it back into place, it's in neutral. I tried to start it but the battery is dead. I consider talking to the dealership's mechanics to get the battery charged so it won't be dead when the family I sold the car to get back to it.

*Because of a white shiny mannequin head that was in a vid I recently viewed.

**I hardly ever have dreams referencing past dreams so this was pretty cool.

‎
WBTB - 3:30am

I've been curious what kind of efffect an extremely low dose of LSD would do after a WBTB on dreaming so I gave it a shot tonight. I woke up and took ~2.5 μg of LSD and immediately went back to bed without staying up for more than a few minutes. I quickly felt something in my mind 'turn on' and I realized that even though this was a micro-dose of a micro-dose that it was still going to be enough to probably interrupt my sleep based on what I was feeling.

It did take a while to fall back asleep so I'm going to try this again in a few days but at one tenth of this dose at ~0.25 μg instead. These dreams were more vivid than usual but at the same time felt sort of interrupted.


Dream 1

I'm selling a white car that was previously a cop car. Some people are going to come by to look at it.

A cop car parks in my driveway and two police get out. They have keys to open the car I'm selling, they get in and try to start it but fail. They don't seem happy and they say they'll be back, they want to take it or impound it or something.

Then a family came by, a wife, husband and their son. The wife wanted the car so she paid for it and they drove off.

She ends up texting me something about a bullet hole in the car and that it's not working.

I drive out and find them, looks like she hit a tree. They're all okay and I ask her about this bullet hole that she mentioned. She says nevermind about that, I end up taking the car off their hands to scrap it.

Dream 2

A really emotionally charged dream, no doubt brought on by the LSD.

‎
Notable substances: ALCAR/Phosphatidyl Choline in the AM, two alcoholic drinks ~7PM, Galantamine after WBTB 3:30am


My recall finally felt decent tonight!

Dream 1

I’m watching Summit1G parachuting into a match of H1Z1. He’s falling in over a wilderness landscape, heading towards a massive bonfire with another ring of fire around it. As he descends a tracking rocket approaches him and he tries to dodge it as it circles back around over and over again trying to land a strike on him.


Now the view is of him on his PC in his room and he spawns pixelated grass around himself in the room. Someone outside the door says something.



Dream 2

I’m traveling on a very narrow dirt road going uphill (I think it’s on the same H1Z1 map, but this is a reality setting). It’s a single lane path and there are many people in front and behind me. The road curves around a large white object that resembles an airplane’s fuselage.

When I’m at the halfway point of driving around this object the corner of my bumper collides with it and I’m comically launched into the air ~100ft. I end up landing way up ahead on the road in the way I was traveling. I reach the end point of this road which is some sort of base camp or small town. There’s another single lane dirt road that goes back the way I came from.


There’s a chain link fence separating the roads from the town with a bunch of protesters on the side of the town facing the two roads. The protestors are demanding the option to be able to use either single lane road to travel back on, that it’s their right to have the option to choose whichever road they want to use for travel. There were some officials trying to work this out with them.


I walk past this and enter a building. There is a long hall in front of me and the ground is tiled like a bathroom, it feels like a liminal space (backrooms). I’m wearing a backpack.


My right boot feels like it was struck, when I turn around I don’t see anyone or anything that could have struck me.

I enter a doorway on the right and enter a bathroom, the same tiled floor continues. The first thing I see is a wall with a large mirror and three sinks in front of it. Beneath each sink is a waste bin which I interpret as makeshift urinals here. People are coming and going into the room as I observe this.

I decide not to use the waste bins so I go deeper into the bathroom, it opens up into a large room. It sort of resembles an office, except the ‘cubicles’ are about half a ft tall and the tiling covers them as well. And where desks would be in these cubicles are toilets.

I go up to one of these toilets to use and it looks ancient, almost steampunk-esque. I’m suddenly discombobulated and feel drunk. I stumble and my foot ends up in this toilet, which of course is full of crap.

I take my boot out right away and it’s filthy. As I slowly put my foot back on the ground I notice there’s a lady right beside me kneeling, almost like a nun. She’s ready with a rag for this exact scenario and begins cleaning my boot but I instinctively yank my foot away from her because of how nasty the whole scenario is and how degrading her position feels to me.

I say to her “Thanks but..” I look to my left and there’s this large, equally ancient looking rusty washing machine and continue “..I’ll just use this washing machine instead!”

I put my boot inside the washing machine and press down the safety button so the machine thinks the door is closed and turn it on. Water pours over my boot and cleans it.



Dream 3

I’m in a bathroom that is the size of an average living room. On the far end there’s a shower, sink and toilet. The tiling on this end extends out to the size of a normal bathroom and then terminates where a wall normally would be.

Tami’s taking a shower, I notice on the other far end of this room there is a showerhead near the wall, and some tiling around it. But between these two sides is grass. I pop into Tami’s shower and say “I’m gonna make a path so you can go to the other shower!”.

I take a bunch of towels and make a path from her shower, across the grass and to the other shower. She runs across it and I turn on the shower head that she reached, it must have not been in use for a long time as nasty rusty water came sputtering out. She ran back to the other shower.



Dream 4

I’m playing on the original GameBoy. There’s some sort of save option that would normally be reserved for emulators, like a save state. I have to do some complicated menu options to pull this off.



Dream 5

I have a new apartment and I’m planning for something. James is jealous for some reason of whatever these plans are. He has the leg of a stool which is chrome metal. It has a piston-like function similar to how office chairs can be adjusted to be lower or higher and he’s making it go up and down.



WBTB - 3:30am

I wrote down these previous dreams and then took a Galantamine. It started working too quickly and I couldn’t get back to sleep so I tried to WILD.

I had one hour of conscious sleep with no events. Then I began hearing sounds, I assumed Tami was waking up but I heard some doors opening and people talking and coming into the house. I took this as what was really happening but this was actually a dream forming.

I tried to get up to see what was going on but instead was trapped in sleep paralysis. As I strained to get up my hands and feet began tingling really strangely. It took a lot of effort but I eventually pulled myself upright, when it dawned on me that Tami was still asleep and it was all just a dream that was beginning to form.

Note: I was stranded for an hour in Didsbury while my family (Dad brother) went to the rec center. I was hungry and was dropped off at Tim Hortons to have a meal. On walking towards the rec center a white SUV drove past me and the woman driving by looked like Jamie, and she was smiling at me (With teeth)! I could have sworn she did a drive by at the end of the summer but was in a rickety brown SUV. Maybe not the same person, or maybe I'm imagining things? Maybe she traded in her old vehicle? So, we've gone from pretending I don't exist, to, drive bys and stealing glances to, driving by and smiling. What's the next step? waving? Not a joke or sarcasm. Slowly but surely... <----- positive dots!!!

Dream 1

Me and Jamie are in a car and we are pulling up to fas gas in olds. That's it.

Dream 2

Dreaming from Jamie's perspective, I'm in a house and I'm looking out a window waiting until someone pulls. I feel like a real estate agent in this dream.

Dream 3

I walk into a large room with all these colorful lights enhanced by a smoke machine. (If you've ever been to the mirror museum exhibit in chinook mall this is exactly what it was like)Jamie is in the room but she is gigantic and laying on the floor. I'm only as tall as the width of one of her legs. That's it I just walk in and that's it.

At least one or two other dreams of Jamie not even a fraction of a second long.

Psych ward

I live in a psych ward or retreat (Definitely where I belong btw.) I'm friends with an older brown haired woman. We both smoke and get eachother smokes or something. She wears a ponytail and wears glasses. Eventually her time ends and her husband picks her up and I'm sad. I sulk around after she leaves and the dream ends.

Oh no

I did pray about dreaming sexual things about other women, and hence this explains the influx of Jamie dreams. However this morning, I dreamed I was going to meet this girl I met off Tinder or something. I'm in a strange apartment building, I find her room number which is 316 or something. I go in and everything is pitch black. Being in a pitch black place in a dream just wakes me up.

Odd Jobs:
I'm approved on a trial-basis to work for one of my coworkers, N.
The gig is 'odd jobs' such as carrying furniture for people, or giving rides home to drunk people from bars.
I'm in a camp-like area with a central mess hall for group eating. It reminds me of band camp a little.
White glove-like symbols are marked over doors, indicating potential jobs.
There is a sense of secrecy to it.
The other people in the work-group are mechanic-types and long-established in the work.
I'm a new-comer and feel isolated, especially since I'm the only non-blue collar person involved.
Standing in a parking lot area behind the mess hall, I get a text from N "you in? send a profile pic!"
...
Later I'm in a park-like area. Mostly open grass, but a concrete structure within it.
I'm inside the concrete, resting. It's a cylindrical shape so I can lie down. My hands are cold against it.
My sister comes and finds me, now asleep. My perspective has shifted. I see myself sleeping with a smile on my face.
...
Then I'm in a car, still with the perspective shift. My sister is taking me somewhere.
...
I'm at my Great-Grandma's/Grandma M's condo. My brother and my sister are running a sort of party.
My brother has set up some computer monitors, with one mirroring the other successfully.
I'm somewhat impressed by this.


Sleeping in the park.

‎
Notable substances: No caffeine, 2.5mg dex ~11:30am

Guess I took the dex a little too late, my sleep was so bad. I was conscious most of the night. My watch shows I only had one little REM period for the night which was when this dream happened, I believe it! I should WBTB tonight with galantamine to capitalize on the amount of REM I need to catch up on.



Dream 1

I'm laying down in bed am Tami is straddling me topless in bed. It's sort of the PA house, room on the right in the hall. We're talking and laughing.

I have the dream knowledge that Amit is staying over and is in the room at the end of the hallway.

Suddenly the door opens and Amit is putting a kitten in the room, he looks over at us as I say something like 'excuse me, know how to knock?'. He's saying something about the kitten was keeping him up as his eyes are glued to Tami's breasts. Tami goes over to take the kitten from him and I get up to get Amit back to his room. I feel like the cat was an excuse to barge in like he did, I'm annoyed with with him.

I'm now in the room Amit is staying over in. He has a computer set up on a desk and there are duffel bags full of electronics.

He thanks me for taking the kitten off his hands, something about it was hard to catch. He then breaks eye contact and looks at his hands fumbling with something and starts mumbling, asking me a question. I ask him to repeat himself and he's still mumbling but I hear him say something along the lines of 'can I join you?'.

I think to myself that I fucked up inviting someone over that I work with online, how well do I really know this guy? I didn't expect him to be so creepy. I'm disappointed in myself for having him over.

deleted

Dream 1

I'm in an operating room about to perform sugery on someone. I position 8 supporting doctors around the patient as well. There is a visualization of a number pad, the patent was represented as the center key "5" and the other doctors are represented as the remaining 8 keys surrounding it.

Nostalgia Band:
I'm in a highschool gym at indoor band practice. I'm a senior who will be graduating soon, so feeling nostalgic.
I walk over to our saxophone cases and join the group. I feel the familiar rush of uncertainty.
Where are we going? What are we doing? Gotta do it fast!
...
I'm with the same group, this time outside. We have our instruments and backpacks.
It's a grassy mountain hike, spiraly.
I see PK, a senior from my 2nd year. He is talking about burying time-capsules for future years.
There are already a lot of time capsules buried in the ground waiting to be opened.
...
We're in a large, cylindrical, dimly lit room now. There are pictures of previous band members along the wall.
My brother's picture gets pointed out. It is his picture from 1st or 2nd grade.

Sunny Day Lucid:
I'm in my childhood neighborhood on a sunny day.
I'm running through the backyards, with the grass being typical vivid dream green.
I have a sense of urgency to get somewhere soon.
There are some horses up ahead, stabled at somebody's house.
I'm on a garden path moving toward them. I try to leave the path to avoid alerting the horses, but I can't.
I eventually pass by them without a problem.
I stop and stand still, realizing that my childhood neighborhood and sunny days are some of my top dreamsigns.
I perform a nose reality check and I can breathe.
I check my hands and I have 4 fingers and a thumb. That's strange, shouldn't they be off in a dream?
I keep checking my finger and nose, and eventually conclude that I must be dreaming.
I try to summon somebody, but it doesn't work.
I feel the dream start to fade.

‎
Dream 1

I'm running on roads that are just on the outskirts of a city with plenty of trees around. I am running very fast in a sonic the hedgehog kind of way, with a blur trailing behind me. I don't have a shirt on. I notice something on the ground and stop just before I step on it. It's a rusty shovel, but just the spade part and no handle. A woman is walking by in a skirt suit, she takes notice of my situation with a glance and continues on her way.

I pick up the rusty shovel head and notice there's a recycling bin on the other side of the road so I walk over to it and toss it in. But then I hear things sort of scraping against the pavement. I turn around to see that all of these pieces of recyclable materials are slowly sliding towards me.

As each piece reaches me I pick them up and put them in the bin. So many random things were coming out from the woods across the street. I thought ‘If I stay here much longer this will become my full time job’



Dream 2

Violet and I are talking as we are arranging furniture/pictures etc in a house. I don’t know if we’re moving in or out or just making adjustments to the place.

As we’re doing this we’re having a genuine conversation about our thoughts of each other and reflecting on different traits we have. It felt like this was us meeting in an afterlife, there was no pressure or expectations. It felt light and easy.

I was in a crowd of people, there were two in the center doing something I couldn't quite see. Some guy with uncannilly cubed teeth blocks my view and asks me what I think of the tournament. I tell him I have no idea what they're doing. I feel a pain on the bottom of my foot, he is pinching it with a single chopstick. He then lets go and gives me a pair and tells me nobody will suspect they're weapons.

I am walking down a hall littered with boxes, mostly popsicle boxes. I kind of want to eat one, but I don't.

‎

Notable day substances: No caffeine

My recall has been pretty poor the past few days.



Dream 1

This dream is really fuzzy but I was walking in a large mall with a friend and I was putting clothes on or something, like I wasn't wearing much initially or something. It was very lightly raining in there.



Dream 2

I'm in a special education class and with some sort of mental disability. I'm wearing shoes with no socks on. Everyone ends up going home, including the teacher, except me and two other students.

Tami is one of the students and she's frusterated with a book she's reading. It seems like the entire lower third of the book was cut clean off and then another copy of the book was glued back on there. So near the bottom third of each page there would be a line of text that would be difficult to read because of that.

There's a bowl of pop rocks, but they're way finer than actual pop rocks - almost like sand. I keep putting it in my mouth and like the popping effects.

I text the teacher if we should wait for her or if I should take the other students home. I receive a text back that just says "I'm trying a lot to leave this lot."

I dreamed that I was in my room, sitting on my bed. It wasn't quite my room, but the bed was pretty spot on including the headboard. In the dream I had a stuffed animal that resembled a tailless Aipom. I hated it, because every time I looked at it, the eyes were looking in a different direction, or it was even leaning to a different side. I decided that it was going to go in a bag and into the car and straight to Goodwill tomorrow. No leaving bags of stuff in the trunk for days before donating them, it was GOING.

But then I was at least a little aware of dreaming, because I thought to myself that I couldn't really get rid of it, because I didn't really own it, not in real life. I thought about the items on my own headboard, just few decorations and definitely not that thing. So I laid down and tried to sleep. I actually felt the doll climb down from the headboard and gently pull my hair, several inches of it. And that's what did it for me.

I have a buzz cut. You can't pull my hair. Once I acknowledged that that wasn't real, the dream shifted.

I was on the deck, tending to plants. A loud car drove by, one of the ones modified to make more noise and whose owner probably did donuts in parking lots to show off. He slowed and stopped, seeming to look right at me. Then he stuck his hand out the window, holding a gun, and fired three times at me. He missed all three times and I ran. He seemed like he hadn't really cared about hitting me and just messing around.

The dream changed again. A recurring thing in my dreams is going out to the backyard to tend to my dogs, who died almost a decade ago. I realized again that I was dreaming and wondered if I stopped tending to the dream dogs if they'd go away and I'd stop dreaming about them. Like just no longer watering a plant you don't want anymore.

I was at some sort of event, I was at a counter where blocky things that vaguely resembled SNES's were being sold. They had purple, black, and blue. I was disappointed there was no orange, so I grabbed a blue and started walking away.

I was in my father's truck, he had told me to pick up some burgers or something. I had to pull up the seat and adjust the height because he's the size of a gorilla, anyways I back up, and speed around a small gas station like building with a burger king sign. I park outside and enter, there's some chairs and a table. I end up in a grocery store like section. There's some lettuce and a couple tomato slices just sitting on the shelf. I think it's convenient and take a couple bites, its messy as hell and I am somehow covered head to toe in juice. I toss my clothes on the floor and walk into the clothing section, I'm hoping the employees don't catch me naked, so I steal a pair of camouflage pajama pants and struggle to put them on.

Me and some other guy are eaten by some giant monster, there is a room inside it, I catch one of the several strings attached to the ceiling and watch his shoe disappear into the darkness below. I see 3 doors, one has a green sign above it which says exit. Another has a red exit sign, and the last one has a blue sign above it which says not exit. I swing across the strings like a monkey until I reach the red door. I open in, and I get a view of a parking lot and some bushes. I'm about 10 feet off the ground, but I think the bushes will help break my fall a bit. I jump into them and miss a little bit, my butt slams into the asphalt, and my shoulders land in the bushes. I get up and start walking around [COLOR="#0088000"]I think the fall should have hurt a bit more, I remember that I wanted to steal a car. I see a maroon one with the door wide open, I'm about to hop in, but I think that they left their door open for me, so it doesn't count as stealing. I find a nice white one and try to phase through the door. I fail, so I just open it. I tell myself that it doesn't need keys to work so I don't have to look for them. I examine it a bit, where the radio should be, there's a blue button with a G on it. In the back seat there's a small instrument which looks like a ukulele, but the body's square, and it lacks a sound hole. I pull it out, and pluck a string as I run my finger up the fretboard. It has 7 frets and a higher sound than a uke. I toss it back, and push the brake and G. The car starts, I slam the gas to the floor and swerve right. There's a small group of people and one of them is in my way, unfortunately he dodges just in time. I remember that I was supposed to get something from the gas station, I leave the lot, and go down an empty highway with several curves and a bunch of tan walls around me. I end up is some other building, there's a small crowd, and in the center there's an old lady making her crusty white dog stand on an upside down metal bucket while she showers him with a hose. Some other lady is squatting a foot away acting like it's the cutest thing she's ever seen while the water runs off the bucket and soaks the carpet under her shoes. I go have a closer look, and I sit on the carpet, the old lady asks me how I feel about her dog. I'm trying to think of a response, when my father comes out of nowhere and asks me to give my mother's shorts back. [/COLOR]