non-lucid

It's been a while... Since I have some time, I've decided to come back for a bit and try lucid dreaming again.
I mean, it's been like a year and a half or something, I think... Dang. How has everyone been...?

Oh well, I'm back. Here goes.

Recently just woke up from this dream... I was in an unusually big house. The only other person I recognized was my dad, but I remember there being a bunch of other people there with us. My mom may have been there too, but I'm not sure. There was a very dark kitchen, where there was something to do with me needing to make food...? Weird. The living room had some sort of big box, full of big RC cars... Huh? Rocket League? I specifically remember pulling the Road Hog out of the box... My dad wanted me to pick a vehicle so he could upgrade it or something. I went through the entire box, tossing out the different cars, until I eventually found one that I wanted to keep I guess. I ended up also finding a lot of small objects on the floor. Like... Things that I own. There were DS games, and other small/old toys and stuff. In particular, there were some DS games that were only the plastic case from the cartridge. As in, no actual game. I remember seeing Spectrobes 2 specifically. Huh.

That's all that I really remember.

In my time away from here, my dream recall has become a bit stale.

Time to get back into it...

July 18---11:30-1:25pm
In a store, buying clothes. Mom drags me outside the back, grabs a fish tail cutout of foam and goes back inside. Someone stops us at the door, I get kicked down. Big guy picks me up in a hug and give comforting words. In the store I look through racks of clothes, laugh for reasons forgotten and C says it's time to go. Go through door, get stopped by arabic guard who wants our IDs. I give mom her purse, he says I should have a tie for my shirt. I nod, but he says I'm not a boy am I? I panic, he reaches down to check and then gets shoved off. Pan out to him falling off a cliff, I say we shouldn't have done that but hippie type guy says it's fine. Pan down mountain to an asian looking through a telescope, he sees falling body and mistakes it for the sign they've been waiting for. End.

July 18---5:12pm-7:17pm
In old home at night, C is washing dishes he got from portal outside our house in the back. They are relics, I see one looking like a bowl pitcher. I put water in it, wash with soap and put water in it to drink. D enters room and sees me drinking, asks what is that and I tell him I think it's a drinking bowl. He seems skeptical, the water tastes bad like the soap I used and I see some of the pink soap residue on the bottom. I rinse it and put it in rack to dry, feel weird. Dizzy and nauseous, I stumble outside and see the world in a blurry. Look into portal and see outlined light blue squares on a white back ground. I scream as it freaks me out and wake up into a false awakening, C says shut up and I do. Talk in my mind to rose, mention dracula but I say it reminded me of a lucid dreaming vibe. End.

He gave us these little plastic? dolls to swallow and that would take us there, I had a hard time getting it to go down. I do remember thinking that this seemed kinda stupid, but then I did manage to swallow it and could feel it get caught slightly in my throat. After swallowing or going through the motions of swallowing a couple more times, I finally got it down and pretty much instantly saw the change after I blinked. We were in a room, appeared to be a dining room and I didn't seem to be familiar to the place. But then a voice spoke out behind me and caused me to turn about quickly to meet the face of the speaker who spoke from the shadows of the doorway, "Well if it isn't you", I of course was shocked a bit to see him there but for some reason also frightened a bit. I got the feeling that I shouldn't have come uninvited, but I also got the feeling that I owed him something. Anyway, he took me aside to another room to chat, I remember nothing of the dialogue except that I shouldn't be there. But sense I was here, I was obviously there for him. The rest of the dream is a bit hazy but their were other guests there and they'd been eating so I was to dress appropriately. After that I think I woke up.

1:10-7:54 July, 20th:
Old home, Walking through halls with C, checking rooms at night and playing a game. See D in bed and mom in bed. At beach in the morning, playing with people. Then the place turns dark and police come in, running people down and stuff. I hide in a necromancers tower, then rush back to home which is now current home. It is on fire, and the police have gone through the area and are still there. Mom is outside with a sword, I grab a sword and we both cut off one head out of the five guys outside. Then we leave markings on the other three, an open gash in one's chest, a slight scar on one's face and a cut off arm on another one; something I noticed is they bleed black blood or really dark red blood. We hide until morning or so they dream says, then we go access the situation and the house is now the old home again. The dream says we kill the remaining few. Then we grab food and stuff in boxes and put it into a helicopter, we even manage to put a box of chicks into it and the were specifically saved so the police weren't heartless after all. I keep telling mom to hurry up, we manage to fit everything and I shut off my phone so they can't track us through that. Then before we are going to leave, I say we could pick up D and C because they are alive. When I went to get the food, it was from grandma's kitchen fridge.
Things we gathered:
　clothes, small amount, mom was especially excited about a nightgown for her and lots of socks for some reason.
　frozen candy bars, nougats or something and also dry foods like crackers.
　box of chicks about five or seven.

July 1
-1-I went back in time to around 1994 in SE Canada, where I walked towards a house on the side of the road. When I got inside, I found the windows on the south side open with strong wind coming in. I shut one, but that allowed a pile of snow to appear. It tasted sweet and looked like sunscreen.
-2-I was being hunted by someone. I ended up in a building, using my camcorder to zoom in on snipers in the far distance. Also, there was a guy that knew some of the area there and we were walking somewhere, through piles of leaves on the way.

July 7
I was running around to find shelter somewhere during an F2 tornado. Then I ran around trying to find shelter during a tan, F4 tornado on a farm with a bunch of empty buildings, none of which were satisfactory. Sometime earlier, my brother and I looked for cereal. I also landed a plane, played some Mario Party, and talked illogically about Starfox.

I woke up this morning.... Bored??? Not something I usually wake up feeling (I usually feel sadness, with a few tears coming out of my eyes). I also remember a few flashes of color- coincidentally they were my favorites. I saw purple, red, and i think a flash of bluish-gray. Not sure though. Although being able to remember something on my first night of trying is quite promising, though.

Went to bed at 5AM and woke up at 3:40PM.

From what I remember, I was at some sort of camp. We're up very high in the trees with ziplines and our harnesses attached to wires. My mom is there. I'm trying to transfer myself over to another wire but the clips aren't working. There's an old man in the trees with me who I recognize from my pool who is trying to help me.

I wake up. I start to sleep again trying to go back to the trees.

I'm dreaming I'm back at college on this place called Devon Lane. There's townhouses with decks next to each other. I look over to the left and there's a fraternity and sorority next to each other talking on decks. The house I'm at has a bunch of my fraternity brothers out and about drinking and hanging out. I remember it felt like I had just woken up, but it looked like it was pretty much night time. People keep talking about how it looks like it's night time but it's only 2PM. It looks kinda like the sun is setting. I see my friend JP opening a beer. I ask if anyone wants to split a case of beer and three younger brothers on chairs jump up and come with me. We're walking up the street to the gas station. There's a pool to the left of us that we recognize some people at. We walk in and my friend Ali is there at the end of the pool, or someone who kinda looks like him. There's kids jumping like 30 feet in the air and then diving into the shallow pool but they're fine. I start to walk back to the door when I pass a girl in a white shirt. As I turn around, I see it's Dana. Someone asks me who she is and why we don't date anymore and I tell them a lie saying that she cheated on me. I wish I could have talked to her.

I walk outside of the gate and pass my childhood friend's mom Dorris and a posse of people including this famous girl that used to be in my friend group in high school. I tell someone that. Then, everyone in the dream starts to tell us to look up at the sky. The sky to the right is incredible, there's these really colorful and elaborate shapes in the sky moving in some sort of pattern, and they change every 10 seconds or so. People are getting their phones out and I get my phone out as well, changing the patterns with some sort of filter I have. I remember feeling like the world was going to end in this dream, like things were starting to align and everything felt so right in that moment. It was all making sense, the sky was acting up that day, someone famous was in town for some reason, the girl I had wronged in the past was there for me to forgive. And I was okay with the world ending in that moment.

I'm suddenly in this view of different regrets in my life coming before me. People I didn't like would come up, and I would simply just tell myself that I didn't care anymore and let the grudge go. Dana came into view, and I apologized and washed that regret away. Dirty things were appearing and I was just forgetting them from my life. I felt this high that I only get while in dreams. I felt like my body was floating upwards and I was telling God to take me away and I had tears coming out of my eyes.

And then I was paralyzed and couldn't move. Those dirty things were there with me in this small space, and I was struggling to move. In that moment, I started to take on the form of my friend Kolby. Then I jerked myself awake.

Cafeteria Cheating:

I was in a situation where I was being helped by my boss to either get free food that I wasn't entitled to, or more than I was supposed to be getting. He was kinda on board at the beginning, but then he said something about not really wanting to be getting caught doing it. I started feeling bad about it, and then work up.


Chemical Extraction:

In some food product or other mundane item, someone discovered that you could extract some potentially dangerous chemical could be extracted from it. This dream carried on for a while, but all I remember is seeing some guy at a table who was apparently carrying out the extraction.


Shiba Inu:
Someone had a dog that I wanted to play with. I was a bit worried that it would not like me, but it didn't get mad at me for petting it, so that was pretty cool.

It's been a long time since I made any entries, and I didn't do an immediate journal, this is just what I am remembering in the morning.

Some girl from a college class that I had met had brought me to her house in a very wealthy looking subdivision. She wanted to show me her new kittens. I think there were three of them. Something strange about her kittens though; they have the intelligence of small children and can say some basic phrases.

I continually revisit her house once or twice per week. One of the kittens, a boy who is a brown and black tabby with white paws and a white chin likes to play rough with me whenever I come over. We are pretending to be secret agents on opposite sides during the cold war and at one point in where I capture him, hiding behind a black SUV in the driveway. I pick him up by the neck scruff then he spins around and bats me with his paws (claws in) and I pretend to fall over and he drops onto my chest as though he has just beaten me at fighting.

The neighbor of the girl, a very tall balding middle aged man with a combover and cigar says that I am committing animal abuse and that he is calling the police. The police officer comes and tries to arrest me but I explain the situation saying that it's just play and when the kitten starts talking and explaining that he was the one who made up the game and he doesn't care if it gets rough, since he knows I wouldn't really try to hurt him. The police officer leaves and the dream ends.

-+-

I am visiting my aunt's new apartment. It is somehow merged higher dimensionally into our house, and by traveling through a specific part of the house in a certain way, you can access the apartment. The apartment actually has the same layout as my house but is much cleaner and has different decorations. I see my aunt's new husband on the computer eating and notice that he has a cartoony big belly from eating too much and ask my aunt about it, but she is busy talking to my mom's friend.

-+-

I am in a rock band with my friends; and we are preforming at my grandparent's house, or at least a location that feels similar to it. The rock band is kind of strange because of the instruments we have all chosen to play. I am playing a Hangdrum, S is playing a three-necked guitar and his brother is playing a keytar that is really small, like a children's toy. (I think I remember seeing the brand' Fisher Price' on the side).

All's I remember is we are preforming a song for an audience of 6 or 8 people in my grandparent's garage and people are booing us, until A runs into the garage dressed only in short-shorts and an unzipped leather vest and screams 'Penis' repeatedly. The crowd goes wild.

-+-

I get taken with my grandparents and parents to eat at the grocery store deli counter where there is a small sitting area (not present IWL). I cannot help but think what an unglamorous affair this seems like, as the four of them get involved in a heated discussion about complicated yet nonsensical political matters, and I continually try to indicate that I want to go home, and will walk home by myself.

My father complains of a flapping sound. There is a soft plastic sign above us that is flapping around and he can't figure out why. I look up and see the sign and there is a big green metal casing with an electric motor in it that is supposedly there to pull up the sign but the mechanism is broken.

My father complains for several minutes about why the store needs such a mechanism. I tell him if it bothers him so much he should tell the manager, but he says he won't do that because the manager would kick him out of his favorite store and it's better just to complain about it. My grandparents join in in finding things to complain about the store. I decide I've had enough and leave. (For some reason deciding to leave by walking behind the deli counter, into a storeroom and out the back door of the sore.)

I head outside. It is nighttime and I am now on a beach. I see two Jacks out there who continually flex their muscles and strike symmetrical poses attempting to impress some girls. I say 'hi' to them and high five both of them simultaneously before walking past. I look at the moon and see that it is irregularly shaped and smaller than it should be. It looks like a large asteroid. I become lucid.

I use some stabilization commands, and then start moving my feet in a skating motion to get across the water, the water turning to ice beneath my feet. I get to a small island where there is a swimming pool and a small building, presumably a locker room. I decide to practice water manipulation and with relative ease am able to force all the water to one end of the swimming pool.

I then realize that I have to go poo and decide I should wake myself up to do so, hoping I can do a WBTB and follow up. But upon waking up I realized the feeling was some kind of illusion created by the dream.

-+-

In one of my least-favorite brands of dreams, I was playing Minecraft. I was killed by some kind of enemy monster that was like an animated pool table that shot pool balls at me. I became disproportionately emotional, like a small child would, and started crying with outrage at my character's death.

-+-

I was at some kind of animation showcase. Rebecca Sugar (the woman who created Steven Universe) is there. She shows me a new Steven universe episode. I don't recall much of the episode, other than there was a part in where Steven was a young toddler, maybe about 2 or 3. This was when he said his first words while Pearl was feeding him ice cream and he licked it off her fingers. It seemed like the typical cute SU moment but there was some off-putting music playing and I thought something scary was going to happen.

...

Later there was a portion of another animation that had two people climbing a huge stone face underground. They looked like some re-interpretation of Milo and Kida from the disney atlantis movie. Milo got a metal spike in his arm and started bleeding profusely but then discovered he had some type of healing ability and was able to heal the wound.

2017, 07-18

Snakes!

I am at my house with my mother. It isn’t the house we currently live it, rather it’s the one on Calle Kino where we lived quite a few years ago. We go outside to take the garbage and recyclable bins to the end of the driveway. I push one and she pushes the other. We get them out ok and then turn to come back in. When I turn around I stop so quickly that I fall on my ass. There is a rattlesnake not far in front of me. I am probably within striking distance right now. I start to move slowly away from the agitated snake. I glance behind me to make sure I wasn’t heading towards anything dangerous and I see another rattlesnake behind me! Looking around I see a total of five rattlesnakes around my mom and me. I manage to get to my feet and then my mom and I take the only opening to get away from the snakes.

Once we are back safely in the house my mom seems to completely forget the snakes ever existed. I, on the other hand, am paranoid of finding snakes in the house. I look around the rooms but I see no snake. I then hear a bark from outside. We have an enclosed porch on the back of the house and the dog is waiting outside the sliding glass doors that lead outside. I recognize the dog as our current dog, Max. My mom opens the door and goes into the enclosed porch. It is getting dark out now so I can’t see into the corners of the enclosed porch. I get a flashlight and shine it into the darkness at a suspiciously shaped object. It’s a snake! There’s a snake in the enclosed porch now! I tell my mom and she urges the dog to hurry from the outside door into the main house. We go in after and close the door. I look at a cage on a table and see my hamster inside. I am thinking I haven’t fed my hamster for far too long. I sprinkle food into the cage and the hamster eats happily. I am wondering what to do about snakes when I wake up.

1. I returned to California and my old job in the housekeeping department at a resort. I was about to go to work, talking with a dream character roommate, when I remembered that I wasn't able to do that job anymore due to health issues. I wondered how I was going to be able to do it, decided I would have to start slow to keep from ending up in the hospital again.

2. Still in California, but the dream shifted. I was a companion of the Doctor-- Tom Baker era. I had witnessed or heard something in some building (I don't remember what), and told him about it. He said he believed me and we began traveling all over the world to investigate: first Venezuela, then London, and finally Galveston, TX. We traveled in a car, but the car was able to instantaneously arrive at our destinations.

I was flying the plane reminiscing Avro Lancaster bomber plane as a member of bomber group. I emerged into dream when we were flying above Germany occupied land. The flak was firing at us in irregular manner all the way to the target, where we dropped bombs and turned back to England.
Half the way to home, my plane was hit by flak fire and lost nearly whole tail section... The airplane became very nose heavy, and started to tip down... But I felt, that flaps were functional, so I started to do slow horizontal pirouette to hold more or less straight flight direction. I managed to fly that way for a long time, till I reached England and started to try and land on the closest airfield...
It was bad. I managed to do last wing over very close to ground and then level the airplane for a short time. Then I landed it hard and the airplane started to roll over the nose to its back, to belly and again through nose to back... maybe 10-15 times over, till it stopped. I was dead by that time and saw it from above.

Remarks:
There was no one on board of airplane when I was landing. I was last one there.
I couldn't jump from airplane, it was somehow impossible because of its condition. To attempt to land was the only way to have chance to survive- I didn't manage that.
There was no fear emotion, only strong concentration on flying, trying to survive... After death I felt something like relief...

2017, 07-17

Eve Online

I am outside lying on the ground and looking up. I see the stars above me shining brightly in the night. They seem to be shining brighter than usual, but I think that is just because the city lights aren’t as bright right now. I lie there and watch the stars, getting lost in the depths of space. It feels like I am actually floating up towards the stars. Soon I am looking at what appears to be a jump gate like they have on the game Eve Online. And there are so many spaceships going into and coming out of the gate! There are so many that I am constantly expecting to see them crash into each other, but somehow they don’t. Considering it looks like a setting in Eve Online, I am also surprised no one is fighting. It seemed there was always someone fighting around the jump gates in Eve… I continue watching the ships come and go and soon it feels like I am right there among the ships as I watch them all fly by.

Now I am in my Fire Valkyrie flying among the Eve ships as they go in and come out of the jump gate. I have somehow made this transition without realizing anything is strange, now I feel I am playing Eve Online and the Fire Valkyrie is just a normal part. I fly through the jump gate, not remembering where I am going but hoping there aren’t any gate campers on the other side. I emerge in a low security sector and wonder why I came here since there is unregulated PvP fighting here. And, of course, there are gate campers waiting for some fool to do what I just did. I start looking on my scanner to target the gate and get out before I get destroyed… but then I stop myself. I’m in my Fire Valkyrie, not some cheap Eve ship! I’m going to teach those assholes a lesson!

So I turn and face my attackers. There are several battlecruisers that look familiar but I can’t remember what they’re called. There are also numerous smaller ships that I don’t recognize. They are ganging up on me. I set to it, dodging most of their attacks and the ones that hit don’t get through my shields. I return fire and start blasting their ships to pieces. One by one their ships are destroyed and the pilots are left in their escape pods floating in space. I don’t target the pods because I remember that the people who destroy the pod when the pilot goes to escape are the biggest assholes. So as I destroy all of their ships I let the pods make their escapes, and soon I am alone by the jump gate. I hope they learned not to gang up on ships they assume to be weak, because that ship might not be as weak as it appears!

My friend L and I were in the back of a semi that didn't have the storage/truck part hooked up. The inside of the semi looked like a large van with several seat rows; we were all the way in the back. I think we'd been traveling and had stopped to rest. The semi was apparently hooked to a computer with an AI interface, and the AI suddenly took over and started driving the truck, erratically and dangerously. I clambered over rows of seats towards the front of the truck in order to try to get control, but woke up before I could get there.