non-lucid

Morning of February 10, 2017. Friday.



I am living in Cubitis with my wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now. I am in the southwest bedroom, mostly looking at comic strips in newspapers. I eventually have to use the bathroom and absentmindedly get ready to go on the carpet near the door to the room. There are several books on the floor. Soon though, I decide that this is not a very good idea, so I walk to the opposite side of the hallway to use the bathroom.

The bathroom is different from how it was in real life, though my dream self does not consider it as such. The toilet is closest to the door where the sink was in reality and the sink is where the toilet had been. (As this dream includes doorway waking symbolism, my need to go renders the toilet as being closer to the door.)

A vulture, nearly as tall as me, is to my right and I am annoyed. I leave the bathroom without using it. I push its neck back with the palm of my left hand as it comes out into the hallway from the doorway but this is not enough to keep it back. I then use my right foot to additionally push its body back into the bathroom and close the door.

---

This dream’s meaning is to serve as a biological waking prompt to wake me in order to use the bathroom.

The floating sensation one experiences when entering sleep is often the main reason for the presence of a bird in a dream, which may or may not relate to waking life. This also includes the metaphorical association of “returning" to the physical body during the waking stage, including as a subliminal attempt to lessen the falling sensation.

Noticing books or other reading materials in a dream is a subliminal attempt to utilize critical thinking skills, which are not usually extant in the non-lucid dream state. This dream validates this with a type of parallel thinking where I first consider urinating on the floor near the books.

Doorway waking symbolism often includes the transforming emergent consciousness factor from the higher energy of the preconscious. In this case, it is the vulture. It is preventing me from using the illusory bathroom; to generate enough emotion to wake due to a real physical need.

The vulture’s beak as potentially jabbing me relates to a recurring hypnopompic physical prompt (as in “The Buzzard’s Beak” from October 4, 1969), experienced since childhood as a jab in my back though only in the final waking state. It does not occur in this dream.

---

I had a dream about something to do with my dad talking to my boyfriend.

I am at a dignified office party, a party which takes up two floors of a department store. There are partygoers travelling up and down the escalators like shoppers at Macy's. Nobody's face is distinguishable; everyone is a shadow figure. The building is filled the sounds of conversation, laughter, background piano music, and wine glasses tinkling. The predominant color of the party is brown -- the walls and carpet and light fixtures are all brown, invoking a very seventies feel to the aura of the interior. There is a black Baby Grand piano on the first floor. Groups of people are huddled around it with drinks in their hands as some unseen shadow figure plays smooth jazz.

As I ponder the ambiance of this party, I wander the floors seemingly invisible: nobody tries to talk to me, nobody recognizes me or even alludes to the fact that I'm there. I seem to be a ghost. When I realize this, everyone in the building suddenly freezes. The piano music stops. All the shadow figures freeze in mid-sentence, glasses raised, and the place is enveloped in total silence. I will myself to rise above them like a spirit and float around the department store. I float past them down the escalators, along the corridors, the breezeways, over the indoor balconies. To me it looks like an empty department store filled with dark, faceless mannequins.

I eventually leave the building and float out into the city. I walk amidst the rubble and ruin of where famous skyscrapers once stood. I begin to look for my brother in the rubble, but I cannot find him. I suddenly translocate from the demolition site to a warehouse filled with boxes and pallets and heavy machinery. I am now holding a glass bottle filled with a white, milky substance. I drink from it and it tastes like a vanilla milkshake/energy drink combo. Two warehouse employees join me and together we look for my brother. We make our way all the way to the back, expecting to see him sandbagging and hiding from the boss, but he's not there. I am wearing blue jeans and a blue button-down shirt -- dressed just like the other workers. I then realize that I too am on the clock now, and we shouldn't be back here. I look around cautiously and tell the two guys that as long as we hang here we should be safe from detection. Dreamt 1/20/2017

COMMENTARY NON-LUCID DREAM LUCID DREAM

Sleep: 11:45
WBTB: 5:00
Awake: 8:45
Tech: MILD, Autosuggestion, WBTB + MILD
Dreams: 4 (plus one short fragment/image)
Lucids: 0

1. My first memory from this dream is "watching" my younger self play hockey (I recently found an old home-video of one of my hockey games). The jersey's and our age were identical to the home video I found. (Memory Blank) Now I am playing hockey. I believe I'm still younger than now, possibly in high school. One of my current friends is there, along with my teammates from the home video. It was so much fun to play hockey again and it felt so realistic. This was a practice session but we also did a short scrimmage, where we played a "fake game" against ourselves. I also remember a scene where I'm driving "home" with one of my teammates and his grandpa. I woke up and had to use restroom. I laid there for a moment to better recall the dream. Apparently I quickly fell asleep again.

2. I'm in the front of my old neighborhood standing on a lawn. There are a couple of large trucks around. One is even parked in the yard I'm in. I decide that before I walk the rest of the way to my house, I need to get out my journal to write down my crazy hockey dream! So, I vividly recall every detail of the dream and meticulously write it down. Out of nowhere, a truck comes barreling down the street from farther in the neighboorhood and almost hits me. I think it ran into the other truck which stopped it, but I don't remember. I wake up, frustrated, and write down what I remember from the hockey dream. I have the feeling/memory that I remembered and wrote down MUCH more about the hockey dream in this dream, but I simply can't recall those additional details.

3. I'm with T in this enclosure with an animal guide. It's a weird "natural cat enclosure". Eventually, we see a mother cat and her kitten. But something's wrong. The mother is VERY aggressive and appears to be foaming at the mouth. I realize she has rabies. I ask the guide and he very calmly confirms. The cat runs over to me. I'm trying to get away. It manages to bite/scrape me enough to draw blood. (Unfortunately I've had experience with possible rabies and the immunization process so I know that this scrape is enough to transfer the infection). I'm furious with the guide. We leave and are picked up by T's brother. As is typical for him, he's very carefree about the whole situation. He says something along the lines of "oh yeah, well you've dealt with that before right?". I wake up.

4. Sex dream.

5. I wake up at 8:45. I know I've been dreaming a long dream but I instantly am thinking about stresses of the day and I can't recall. I only have the image of exiting a front yard and walking on the sidewalk of a neighborhood.

A good night for recall but frustrating due to insomnia. Before bed, I did 15 minutes meditation, some autosuggestion, and MILD technique. Then I allowed myself to let go and go to sleep. I woke up to use restroom, and couldn't go back to sleep till around 7:00. I did do MILD during this time (not for the whole thing of course, just for a few minutes) so I still think it was a success in terms of consistency.

I start off in this dream playing a game called Evolved. The monster I was chosen to be was the Predator! And so the weirdness began. I'm fighting people off in a dark room with some kind of blue light and I beat them. I roared at them as the rest retreated away. I feel big and bad and then I see a kid in a hallway. I ran up to him so that he can freak out when he sees me. He looks up at me and seemed unafraid. He walks away and I follow him into his room that was well lit, revealing my unmasked face. I thought for sure he'd be afraid now.I thought about how the Perd's mouth mandibles twitched when he show it to Arnold in the movie. The kid says something and in response I tell him that he has balls of steel to not be afraid. My voice was normal at first but then I switched it to my monster voice I use IRL sometimes. After that I become friendly to him and people. I left out of his room and back out to fight. There was a solider there who had given up on life. I=He had an explosive in his hand and he threw it at me. It stuck to me but I ran back and made it stick back on him. It was a device with a flashing blue light on it and I thought wait a minute. I can't let him die like this, it is not right. I went to him and took what I thought to be the bomb and walked off with it but then realized that it was not it. I quickly turn to him and ran at him in an attempt to get the bomb away from him but it was too late. It exploded, not bothering me too much but them man was done and blown away, leaving nothing but glowing blue stuff. Upset I screamed/roared like the pred did but my voice was slightly there and heard. The kid walked up to me from behind and I shielded him from looking at the dead man and took him away, down a hallway somewhere.

I was in a large high-rise with several others. Among them my former friends (Fenn & Barra). There was a large window overlooking the city, which was definitely Brussels. The atmosphere was tense. Something was happening, something "global". I said "they" would never go as far as nuking a certain military target (some 20 miles from the city). But then, a nuclear explosion occurred right in the center of the city. In that split second, I came to the horrible realization how wrong I was. The explosion was blinding and the fireball spread quickly, and I knew we were fucked. In that moment, I realized I was going to die. There was not enough time to think about it, not even enough time to get properly scared (only the onset of fear with a little bit of denial). I felt the intense heat from the blast almost scorching my face, and everything got really bright as the fireball arrived. But suddenly, it was gone. No fireball, no other people, nothing. I was still terrified, ran the other direction and jumped out of the window on the other side of the building (a smaller window). Not sure if it broke, or if I phased through it. I effortlessly flew away, and got out of there. After a while, I was flying over a wide road that no longer looked like Brussels. The weather was a lot sunnier than before, also. I made another stylish landing, and remembered what I'd seen. I had obviously been thrown back in time, somehow. I thought to myself that I should probably do something about it, and stop it from happening. After all, I had knowledge of the events, and I had this cool set of powers which kind of made me responsible. I think I suddenly 'knew' about all my other abilities, ones I had used in previous dreams but not in this one yet.

Nightmare time. I recall being in a building (just on floor, ground level) full of poorly-lit (and confusing) corridors with doors that all looked the same. Some kind of monster was loose. I could never get a proper look at it, but it was the stuff of nightmares. It didn't really have a shape of its own. It can best be compared with "The Thing", as it could also body-snatch victims. In one scene, it got very close as it attacked me and another person (or several). At this point, it was more or less an amorphous mass of grey "matter", but definitely biological (a bit like the Molded from Resident Evil 7). It made a leap for me, but I ducked away and it missed. It undoubtedly killed the other guy as I ran away through the corridors - terrified of course. I went through doors without knowing where they'd lead me. They all looked the same. I closed doors behind me, and locked them. It could bust through doors without a problem. I entered a bathroom, and for a moment I thought I'd run into a dead end. It would catch me for sure. But then I noticed a door I hadn't seen before... on the opposite side of the entrance. It lead to another wing of the building. I kept running, and came to the docks (!!). There was a person in the last room before I got outside (I think). I also found a box full of things I could use as weapon. Including a rusty Katana in a plain wooden sheath. I shrugged at the shitty quality of the blade, and took it anyway. I ran across the docks, an reached a ship. It looked like an old fishing boat. I managed to convince the crew and owner that we needed to leave right away. As they prepared to cast off, I kept an eye on the building. I *knew* the beast wasn't going to give up, and it was after me.

This nightmare took place on an island, I think. There was some kind of "infection" spreading. Not a simple disease, but something monstrous. I knew this dream was "the sequel" to the previous one. The whole atmosphere was terrifying. In the end, we'd made it to an airport, and had boarded a plane to escape. I looked out of the window as we were taxiing. The tarmac was covered in a kind of fleshy "red weed", which was taking over the whole island. But only we (me and the others from the group) could see it... no one else. It was playing mind tricks on us... In another scene, someone had died. One of my companions, an alien (humanoid, but not quite human), was angry at me because I hadn't paid my proper respects at his funeral. I was too shocked at the time, because his body was full of (and overgrown with) the horrific red weed. It was a repulsive sight. In the end, we had to do something to end the infection. It happened in a relatively small basement, and involved a bizarre puzzle on the wall involving foods (linking food to a certain category, also some math)...

I was driving car through city at night. But something just felt "wrong". Like, something evil was in the air. A general sense of dread that also filled the previous dream. Suddenly, my car didn't want to accelerate properly anymore, and it took effort on my part just to make it move. I pulled over. At some point I pull a cover off my car (like a sail people put over their cars to protect them from the winter cold). I drove off again, and noticed I'd forgotten to turn my lights on again. At a junction, I looked to my right and recognized a former classmate (Tim Botte) on the sidewalk. I think I was distracted and didn't realize the light had gone green. I made a right turn at the light (depite not being in the right section for that maneuver). What a boring ending!

I'm playing Star Wars Jedi Knight and it is very dark and hard to see. I'm practically blind as I walk around, looking only at things that I ca see in my mind. There is a robot somewhere running around,looking for me and I'm hiding from it. I trip over something and fell into some water but realized that I had to quickly get out of it. The robot has been in that water and the stuff from its body has made it unsafe to stay in. I feel all tingly and strange after I got out and collapsed. It didn't take long for the robot who I think was Tidalwave to find me. It pointed at me and started running at me. I got to run but it was too late. It pounced on me and landed on top of me causing my face to smash up against it's chest that were turrets. Yep It was him and he said something a pressed them against my face.

I start off in this dream in what appears to be upstairs somewhere. There were lights on and I was doing things until I got semi lucid. My mom was making cakes and stuff and I seen square pieces of cake all around. They were on the table on some on the floor. I got hold of one and started to eat it until I thought, what if it tastes like fecal matter. I ignored that thought and took a bite. It was sweet to the taste but not too much. I sat the rest of the cake down and then went downstairs. As I did that I see clear glass bowls filled with banana pudding. It had the Nilla wafers on the top almost looking like egg yoke and some yellow colored cream under them. There were many big bowls of them. What one earth is my mom doing was all I can think the say of this.

Dream shifts or an FA. I'm watch transformers and a decepticon named Tidalwave tranferrs himself into some kind of Alt dimension. He is with a friend who was a dark colored robot, displaying greys and purples on him. Tidalwave seems happy as he began to explore this place that looks like it is outside somewhere with grass a sky and trees. He then starts to jump around joyfully running through the scene and I hear his deep voice laugh in enjoyment.

It was the Dark Ages, and I was involved in a battle for a castle in Britain on a cliff. Kind of reminds me of Tintagel castle now that I think of it. Enemy soldiers were trying to use rope to scale the cliffs and reach the castle. I informed Arthur (or did I simply propose the idea?) of traps we'd installed in the cliff. It's hard to explain, but the edge of the cliffs (on the top) was "on hinges" and acted like a trapdoor. When the soldiers reached the top, it "flipped" down and sent the soldiers falling to their doom. I felt pretty pleased with myself. I thought I could do well for myself in this age, building crazy traps for Arthur.

The next dream. A weird one. It took place in this "park", some kind of zoo where creatures of various animal species lived... except their souls would be randomly swap bodies! I encountered a man, who was actually a bird living in the body of a human. He said he hated it. In the beginning of the dream, I was in the body of a big ape (orangutan I think). I was climbing a tree (or something resembling a tree, the "branches" were quite thin and straight). Despite having all the ape's climbing abilities, I was not comfortable hanging from that branch fifty feet in the air. I also remember encountering a group of elephants. Later in the scene, I found a group of men (humans, I think I was human myself). I think these men were enemies, or at least rivals in some way. Their "leader" said he knew who I was. He said he knew I was involved with a major battle over a thousand of years ago (he said the name of the battle, I forgot), referring to my previous shenanigans with Arthur.

I was with *REDACTED*. *MORE REDACTED DETAILS*. I kissed her, a slow and long kiss - and it felt great. My recent real-life experiences augmented this experience. And that's all I say on this subject.

8 February 2017

It seems to have begun with a chase. We were on our way to school, my friend and I, and out of nowhere this gang of bullies started chasing us. We were all on bicycles and my friend (whom I will name Melvin) and I were trying to outrace the bullies. Somehow, Melvin made to the front gates of the school before I did. This was an interesting setup. The school was surrounded by a fence and the gate was closed. There was suddenly a line of cars behind Melvin attempting to enter the gate and they were all honking at him. He was motionless and unsure of what to do. As the bullies and I got closer I saw a perfect opportunity to create a diversion for us to escape. I yelled at Melvin, telling him to create a diversion. What he does next is really weird. He stood tall and declared that he was really great or something along those lines, much to the astonishment and confusion of the drivers and the bullies alike. Regardless of how weird this diversion was, it worked and we were both able to get into the gate and escape the bullies somehow. We then hid under the front steps of the school and waited for the bullies to leave.

It was at this point that Trixie Tang (from Fairly Odd Parents) and Candace Flynn (from Phineas and Ferb) showed up. Now, these two were our rivals apparently and we did not care for one another. That being said, Trixie did have noble intentions for coming to this particular school. She wanted to better herself. She wanted to become a better person and leave her old selfish ways behind. I did commend her for that but this did nothing to alleviate the animosity between the two of us.

So we were at the football field later where Trixie's old boyfriend, whom I will now name 'Devon,' came to meet her. This was particularly hard for Trixie because she knew that in order to move on and leave her old life behind she would have to break it off with him. As much as I did not like her, I felt for Trixie. I knew that this was not easy and I actually respected her for making such a hard choice. I never saw the break-up itself but I did see Trixie approaching Devon and I could already tell that this was not going to be pretty.

Melvin and I are alone with Candace after school. You see, there were apparently two teams at the school. Melvin and I were on one team while Trixie and Candace were on the other team. This would explain the rivalry. Each team had a flag and the flags were interesting, to say the least. The flags were laid out on their own tables and they were decorated with 3D pop-up imagery of old villages, goblins, and other weird things. Now Candace was having boy troubles of her own and I heard her say something along the lines of, "If only one of you goblins could come alive and tell me how to handle relationships." In that instance, a goblin came out of one of the houses on her flag and materialized right behind her. It looked really menacing but Candace smiled at it nonetheless. Then we cut to a scene where the goblin was happily explaining to Candace the complexities of relationships and how they work. The dream ended there.

All I remember is being escorted through an underground cavern. The cavern was brightly lit and the rocks were a bright red not unlike the stones at Garden of the Gods. I remember being led to a small radial dale wherein there were several peridots (from Steven Universe) dancing and having a good time. They were all in good spirits and had differing hair styles. I remember one in particular who was jumping up and down. She was wearing pig-tales. We moved past the dale into a closed off area and that is where the dream ended.

I am standing atop a small atoll in the Caribbean, surrounded by sugar-white sand and lazy palm trees. The water is crystal clear, turquoise and calm. About 50 ft. out in the water is a partially submerged Tastee-Freeze ice cream truck. The sunken ice cream truck is surrounded by jagged, chalky-white rocks. The rocks are small and smooth and I am able to zoom in on them with great detail. They provide a striking contrast against the tropical pale-blue water lapping up against the sides of the truck. I look down at my feet on the sandy shore, and when I look up again, I see there are now two ice cream trucks. The second one lay perpendicular to the first, about 10 feet away from it. I toss a small pebble into the water and watch as the ripples slowly spread out to where the trucks are. By the time the ripples reach the second truck they have grown into waves. The waves cause the second truck to crash into the first truck and tip it over.

With me on the secluded beach is a man who only speaks Russian. He arrived with a group of people from Moscow. One of the people in the group is a former client of mine from WL (he does not speak Russian to my knowledge). There is also an attractive Russian girl I had a relationship with when I lived in Moscow. In the dream she is cutting my hair as I stare out over the peaceful, translucent water. Dreamt 1/18/2017

I was atop some skyscraper construction, in a room just below the roof. It was mostly empty, with only tiles placed. There were no lights or glass panes, but it wasn't dark as sunlight getting through random openings lit the area. It was a noon. I went down some strange stairs that were wider or shorter in places and got to a small hallway opening to some industrial area which was part of the building. I was holding my laptop. I got out to the area and on a ledge on higher level of construction I saw some people coming. There was a way to another hallway, leading down the skyscraper. I followed it, but then a sudden shot at the chest killed me. I was back at the opening to industrial bit, went out and saw those people on the ledge again. This time I decided to move in the opposite direction than the second hallway, but I fell with my laptop into some water cistern. I didn't drowned, but for some reason I somewhat opened up a console and used a cvar that would reset the dream state back to the first hallway. After the reset I thought that this might be a dream and made a nose plug RC. It worked and I was lucid. I didn't had laptop this time and ignored people on the ledge when going out. I entered a strangely shifted spiral staircase that was hard to navigate and got to a tiled hallway. Following it I stepped through empty doorframe and entered a five star hotel. Going further I met some blonde woman in a long, black dress that instantly came closer and hugged me, then she started leading a dance. The dream became unstable and just like a game or some programme, it changed from "fullscreen" to "windowed" mode and I could see the woman hugging me in a window on bottom-left corner of "screen". In the background there were colourfull energy streams.

COMMENTARY NON-LUCID DREAM LUCID DREAM

Sleep: 11:45pm
WBTB: 4:00am, 5:00am
Awake: 8:52
Techs: WBTB + MILD
Dreams: 3
Lucids: 0

1. (FA) After T left, I fell back asleep and had a false awakening. I "knew" that T had left, and I heard weird sounds which I interpreted in the dream as meaning that someone was breaking into our house. (the sounds might have been coming from our real noise maker now that I think about it). I ran to the closet to hide/grab a weapon. After a period of time, I felt it was safe and walked out of closet back to bed. I laid down and woke up for real.

2. My memory is hazy on this dream. I remember being with a group of friends, although I don't believe I know any of them in real life. We went to some breakfast place, I got separated, and then I was running through the city in a towel. I kept ending up in ridiculous places like our professional baseball stadium. I would walk down some public tunnel, open the door, and suddenly I'm in the stands of the stadium. So weird that those types of things don't make you question if you're dreaming. At one point, one of the ushers started laughing since I was in a towel. I ran, and jumped down the rowls/levels of seats. I guess I knew I was "dreaming" at the last second, as I wasn't scared that I was dropping down hundreds of feet about to hit the ground. Of course, prior to doing so, I woke up.

3. Fragment - I'm in a foreign country with someone. We are retreating. We have satellite footage of a bomb being dropped into this country. It was dropped on a beach, at which time someone hit it like a volley ball into the ocean. Once under water, it blew up sending a water ball/explosion that didn't do much damage. Then it exploded again in a larger blast. And it exploded once more in an even larger blast, although it didn't seem to affect the men on the ground. At this point, I woke up.

This was a frustrating night. I woke up at 4:00am randomly, but went back to sleep immediately. I had my alarm set to begin going off at 5:00am, and then every 30 minutes thereafter until I was to wake up at 8:00am. I've heard of success with this technique on the forums and I remember years ago getting random lucid moments when "snoozing" my alarm in the morning while sleeping in or while taking a long nap. However, when my alarm went off at 5:00am I had to pee. After that I could NOT go back to sleep. I laid there for an hour repeating MILD, then relaxing, meditating, etc. Nothing. Finally fell back asleep around 6:30-7:00 when T left and woke up at 9:00. My motivation is intact, but it's days like this that test your resolve.

Morning of February 8, 2017. Wednesday.



I am at an unknown location in an unfamiliar business building. It may be in Montana when considering the overall landscape. There is work to be done; a new job for me. It is a company I am not familiar with but relates to digging for precious stones and certain valuable minerals. I am to be a part of a team of three (four counting the foreman) to do work in the mountains. I am not yet focused on the concept of how I will feel about being higher up.

I go out to the parking lot with my two coworkers and the foreman, who is also the helicopter pilot. It seems to be late morning. We will be riding in the helicopter to our workplace. Curiously, even though the helicopter is under a large tree, where the branches extend over the rotor blades, there is no problem in taking off. The helicopter is of an unusual layout inside. Each of us sits at a corner of the large and spacious interior, including the pilot.

I vividly feel the movement of the helicopter as it rises from the parking lot. We go very close to a building, close enough to touch it slightly, yet I sense no danger. I feel very cheerful and optimistic. (An aircraft “tapping” the side of a building at this stage and precise point in time in a dream has occurred before. Evidence shows it is a mechanism that increases conscious self awareness without activating a more dominant waking thread.)

We fly up through a few different vertical tunnels, which are somewhat like volcano vents (though not implied to be). I notice men on ropes and with pickaxes digging at the sides. I watch one group of men atop a mountain. They are dragging a large jagged jewel-like stone. As I look around, I notice other scenes like this. There are beautiful colors and a positive sense of activity and progress. Still, I consider that this job may not be suitable for me due to being wary about being so high up and close to cliffs and ravines. The overall beauty of this part of my dream is utterly amazing (the second recent dream where the beauty was breathtaking, the other being the beach dream).

Eventually, I am in a large room with a number of other (unknown) people. An unfamiliar young girl (though who may be a younger version of Zsuzsanna) has been working on carving a semitransparent statue from one of the gems that were found. It looks like a dolphin but seems to have human arms and legs. I find it curious that people are involved in this level of mining as well as making unique salable products in the mountaintop building.

The helicopter pilot is very jovial. In a smaller room we go into, I see a small rectangular lamp on the wall. The lamp was somehow made from a precious stone. It has an engraved human face in profile (looking to the right) on it. Bright light is emitting from the top. There are a number of other items on picnic tables. There is a mystical beauty to most of the items.

---

Even though this is a return flight scenario (over one in five dreams utilize this component and waking transition as a transmutation of the biological falling start), there is a sustained transition similar to my recent beautiful beach dream (though in that dream there was no return flight mechanism - the helicopter never arrived). The difference is that this dream ended on a very positive note and sustained focus on beauty and well-being. Even the personified preconscious did not act as a direct waking precursor (which is quite rare).

---