side notes

Non-lucid, semi lucid, lucid, false awakening

.../It's night and I'm standing on the roof of a building, seeing the ruins of another one in front of me, it's around 10 floors higher than this, or perhaps it's on the top of a hill. I'm not sure about it. It looks very familiar to me, although I cannot define where have it seen it before. I turn on the bed while I'm still staring at this building, there's something I cannot remember about all of this, I feel it's getting late and I must fall asleep first, perhaps have I seen it in a dream? I lay on the bed while thinking about it. After a while and a couple of turns on the bed, I'm standing again on the roof of this building, I think perhaps I might be already dreaming, so I decide to test it trying to fly to the ruins in front of me. I have no problems in flying there, I turn and see the roof of the building where I was previously standing on. Now I remember! It's a recurrent place from previous dreams. Once again I have a flash of some other dreams that took place on the ruins. I see a door on the roof of the first building and I go flying there. When I'm standing in front of it, I remember some creepy scenes from previous dreams, including some sort of crypt where a funeral took place in the basement of this building. I don't mind about it because of my sex drive is starting to take over and all I want to do now is finding her having sex with somebody else. I get inside the building and go downstairs. I find a room where one of my kids sleeps. Nothing of my interest. I leave it being careful to not wake her up. Then I go to another room. I feel she's there, and I could catch her once more. The door is slightly open, and I can see part of her body. It looks like Yes! She's having fun with somebody else, I see some movements but cannot distinguish if there's another person besides her. I get pretty excited about it. I have to push the door and it takes some time until it's wide open, I feel I'm making to much noise with it. When I get into the room, I see she's just changing her clothes, apparently to wear her sleep clothing. She's alone, I'm little bit disappointed although I'm still on, so I take her and start having some fun/...

* Wake up because of the excitement, I make some mental notes before going back to sleep, I don't want to forget about it

.../A fly is disturbing the peace of the room. I catch it and remember there's a spider web under the bed. I go there and throw the bug into the web. It gets trapped although moves too fast and is about to fly again. I try to push it against the web when I see a medium spider coming out. Then a second one although bigger which walks on my hand to take the fly. It's disgusting but I don't want to get bitten so I don't move and wait until it takes the fly and runs back to its place. I see some fights take place with the little one/...

The dentist tells me I’ll need to eat something. She gives me a saucer with a small strawberry on it and then leaves to clean up. Apparently there’s going to be an operation or something.

Me and mom can hear the water running and wonder what’s taking so long. I figure she must be taking a shower rather than washing her hands.

I talk to mom about how I hate strawberries and wonder if I should tell the dentist how I puked the last time I tried one. I might be fibbing there, but close enough.

I end up hurrying out of the room to try and find something else to eat. I find a basket of pears [that’s actually peaches] and slice off some of that. Somehow I end up with some kind of cake stuff on the plate too.

I’m looking at a magazine and mom suggests I trade it with the one I have [something to do with the date on it?].

Then I’m looking through a book, which has scraps of paper in it. I figure some of them were used as bookmarks by the last person to read it. I come to a paper with Spike Spiegel on it. It has a place to sign your name and the date, and something about putting down what power you have but it was some strange term. I didn’t know what to put there so I just out my name and date [though I don’t remember what it was].

I can’t remember if it was in the magazine or book, but a ‘date’ was written: 1-2-1.

Back in the room with plate in hand, a guy comes in and starts talking. I’m wondering who the heck he is but apparently he’s taking over or helping.

Inspirations: Talking about our teeth issues, mom has peaches in the fridge and I have coffee cake, I saw a Spike Spiegel post on tumblr recently, been reading food magazines lately, have had a lot of doctor’s visits lately and was thinking about my teeth

In return for something they did, ‘we’ were trying to help someone/thing become a centaur. We put it in a suit. “It’s a bit tight, but.” And set it off running. There was another centaur ‘riding’ on top of it, causing them to topple. [Actually looked more like a dinosaur.]

The fake centaur passed by a bird creature as it ran…only it stopped, looked and saw that it was not a bird but another creature flapping its appendages and flying with some leaved branches. The fake centaur asked how it was doing that.

We’re in a shack that might also be McDonalds or something and I’m making burgers based on what the guy there told me.

We’re in an enclosement and on the way north I’d been looking for something along the fence. I come across a black device with a round button and click it. I see blue light twinkle around the enclosement’s edges. I go inside and say I found something. That’s when I hear a bark.

We look out and an ominous air gets thicker and thicker as we listen. I can practically see creatures coming towards us. They tell me to turn it back on and I do. I hope in the minutes it was off, nothing got out. I remember seeing a car or something pass outside on the left.

We wonder how to fight if needed. Someone (maybe the guy there) says, “Magic, of course”. I had forgotten that that’s how we fight since we didn’t have weapons.

Inspirations: I had just read the Homestuck comic ‘Hunting Lesson’, watching Aliens?, my fan clicker, I’ve had a few other fence dreams inspired by the place I used to live, reading an article on how to make goo hamburger patties

I went over to the stove and saw that mom was making some kind of pasta dish. I decided to make some with egg noodles instead. Mom later tells me she liked them better but I liked hers.

I’m in a parking lot sitting on a car or something? My black fan is running on high on me. Mom comes over to apologize, saying she’s been tired lately. She lets the fan run on her. Rane goes by slowly on a bike and asks us a question, maybe what we’re doing. The fan is on low now and I figure mom turned it down.

Mom is in a garage looking at stuff. She points out a package on top of a vehicle and says I need to get to looking at it. It has a bit of water on top of it.

-Déjà vu looking around at stuff. [I’ve had a few dreams where I look around at stuff in places.]



As I open it, Midousuji comes over and jeers at me. Apparently it’s a gift from him.

The first thing on top is some fabric material with aliens on it or some creature in a cartoonish style. I say sarcastically sweet, “Aww, how cute!’.

Underneath is a smallish book, some kind of sacrilegious school porno book called ‘The School’ or something.

Inspirations: The pasta I made the other night, me and mom being moody lately, me receiving books in the mail in packages, me watching Yowamushi Pedal and trying to figure Midousuji out, looking at fabric to make me a new quilt and pillow covers…

00:08 bedtime

04:11 alarm

+ burning bush, water device phone booth, walking through room a guy is trying to find a musical major triad, I hear this and think about it, E-G#-B, I wake up with these notes in my head for a long time

2x 4mg Galantamind, 300mg Alpha GPC
can't sleep

07:00 (?) get up, chat with Sensei, browse DV

08:47 BTB try for nap

10:06 voice comments: "(hearty chuckle) Best f^&*in' lucid dream I've ever had"

+ I'm lucid, I'm slowing turning in a circle to stabilize, the faster I turn the less stable the scene is, the slower I spin the more stable, I start rubbing my hands and I wake up in bed rubbing my hands. FA? Perhaps, I don't know, back to sleep.

+ I'm lucid and doing stuff for a while, I have no idea how long, I forgot all this part, then I decide "Hey I'll teleport!" I choose my destination and will myself to be there, and the dream goes dark. Crap the void. No problem, I instantly decide to fly. I take a running start, and take off superman-style with my arms and fists stretched out before me. I expect to see moving landscape beneath me, and it soon appears! I'm flying through a cityscape, enjoying the view, it's really nice. Then I get stuck turning left! I can only turn left for a while. I think I should contact DreamViews for advice to see if anybody else gets stuck like this. Eventually I'm able to turn around (sort of like turning around at the wall when swimming, pivoting my body around) and fly off in another direction for a while...

Then the next thing I know I'm in "my house" (false memory! Imaginary house!) I stand up and look out the window. I feel lucid right away. The view out the window is off a portion of my childhood neighborhood park. I see some pillows/cushions on the ground and these seem out of place confirming the dream state, but I'm not 100% sure. I nose pinch, about 4-5 times, each time indicating dream, and I can hardly believe, it, I can't understand how I got here. I feel so strongly that this is my house and that I'm awake. I eventually think that I must have fallen asleep while working at "my desk" and had a FA in the house and now I'm LDing. it's incredibly vivid, I really think I'm in my house. I encounter my wife and my kids, I walk around this floor a bit, see stairways, doors, it's a large open atrium area.

I hear my wife and one of my sons arguing. Great, I think, they must be arguing in waking life and the argument is leaking over into my dream. I wonder if they come in to the place where I'm sleeping, if I see them in the dream, if I tell them to be quiet because I'm sleeping, will my sleeping body also tell them and so they'll be quiet?

I'm downstairs in a family room/bathroom. This seems to be below street level. I'm looking out a window across a street to buildings across the street. I enter a large glass-walled shower and start taking a shower.

Spoiler for body parts check:

I do an equipment check, my thang is a bit strangely shaped, sort of elongated and a bit pointier. The water is running off of the tip in a stream, but upwards instead of downwards, I think in a water parody of an ejaculation.

This gets me thinking....girl time! I do a behind-the-back summon for a CG, doesn't work. I hear my wife coming down the stairs, I try to get to the door first to lock it, but she comes in. She says I'm not helping to clean up the mess in the house, and leaves back out the door

A girl comes in from a side door, blonde, built, wearing jeans and a sweater. I think I may know her. I make up a name for her and say "Hey, Lindsey!". She's bending over and I enjoy the view. Then she's right up next to me and I see her face close up. I see some acne, which when she turns her head a bit so that I can see the left side of her face, gets really really bad. I will the acne to vanish, and right before my eyes it fades out, back in for a split second, then out again and it's gone, her skin is totally clear!

Spoiler for 18+:

It gets a bit abstract at this point, like I've closed my eyes, but I feel and take her large breasts into my mouth, I think that's way more than a mouthful. I think about oral and I'm below her guiding my thang towards her mouth, it's like there's a milk bottle between me and her mouth that I have to go through, it's just in her mouth and I attempt to feel the sensation but...

...I wake up.

12:36

+ see AR coming down a steep driveway, I have my iphone and my ipad and I think I should lock their screens.

TOTAL DREAMS: 73

TOTAL LUCID: 1

Average dreams per night: 2,5

Dreamsigns: Stress, outside, speed, too late, friends, marathon, water

Best technique (WBTB): SSILD

Best technique (Nap): WILD


Personal evaluation: Don't try WILD early in the morning after WBTB, use MILD + derivatives. Note down dreams everytime you remember them, DO NOT FALL BACK ASLEEP.

Goals for next month: Increase lucid frequency to 1 lucid dream per week, increase DR to 4 dreams average per night and archieve atleast one succesfull WILD.


Special notes: This month included exams, this was probably a major distraction for lucid dreaming.

00:00 Saturday 2014-06-28

01:30 bedtime, disaster, soooo late

+ doom giant demons chainsaw, switching between 3rd person player outside game and character inside game, holding down keys hard on the "keyboard" trying to adjust flying trajectory.

+ on the beach, rain cloud coming, part of the show? it's a real rainclould, small about 100 square feet and it comes out from above the high rock shelf ceiling and it does rain out over a pond. There's a beautiful blonde girl and I see some pit stubble and I say "honey, come here" and upon closer inspection it's a dude, ew. See his pit stubble and some pit hair. Still has beautiful blonde hair, though.

Walk behind and above a CG with amazing legs in a short tight dress, I manoeuvre around to the front for another look but people get in the way

On a beach a big bulky official guy, two children are pestering him to build a walkway on the beach, he says there's no room to do it, too crowded, it would be full of police, they keep saying it would help walking on the beach, I visualize such a pathway briefly, I see that there are mountains in the distance, I think this location is just like my favorite SH beach, but I know it's different.

my wife is setting up a spot back up on the steep sandy hill.

A group is a bit farther on up the hill they're moving a fence to a closed position they play some sort of water balloon soccer with individual little cages the balloons are meant to break on the cages and get the guy inside wet, the balloon gets tossed back and forth a bit I think at first it's a soccer field they're setting up inside a fence like a private area. The big dude tells the kids they need to get formal plans approved by the planning commission.

Spoiler for caveman:

Take a girl backstage from the action, through a narrow space into in a kitchen-like room there are now two girls, I see a view like someone under the table is having intercourse with her, gives me the idea to do it, and I perhaps have intercourse with them, or at least think about it. While I'm finishing with a girl I notice I'm sitting in front of an opened door leading out into a public area, I close the door.

Later I'm sitting in a big chair like a dentist chair and two girls who I think are the same girls from the room, several more girls are also, the chairs are arranged in a very large circle, I wonder if they will "tell on me", the circle disperses and a bunch of girls all come standing around my chair, they're so close I reach for the long hair of one girl facing away from me and touch it and her back then quickly look away when (I think) she turns to see who touched her.

With my wife and some waitresses, they're offering something like deep-fried Chardonnay, and I'm confused by that, "say what?"

first of all i would like to say that before i fell asleep last night i was watching the youarecreators2 youtube channel. with that being said i'll continue on to my dream. it started out with me laying in my bed as normal in my normal looking bedroom in normal night time lighting, everything seemed normal as far as my surroundings. i was telling my subconscious mine (with my thoughts) "this is my mind and my life i control my mind nobody else!" while "trying to visualize my modeling dream" and every time i did this i felt an enormous amount of pressure in my head it was soo much to the point where i felt like i couldn't handle it anymore. i said it again "this is my mind!" then i started visualizing myself on the runway modeling with camera flashes pointed at me and again the pressure started again this time it was too much and again it felt like i couldn't handle it so i let go of control then it stopped, i never saw my subconscious or heard it speak. i just felt alot of pressure in my head i knew it was my subconscious mind's presence it felt like something was being forced in inside my head like energy and power it felt weird but it was to much for me. it's hard to explain it was not painful only alot of pressure. the dream seemed so real because like i said before my surroundings seemed normal. the only thing that trips me out was the sheet i was trying to hide under after i let go of control but before i went to sleep i had no sheet only my blanket. so thats how i know it was a dream and not real because the sheet in my dream was actually sitting on the futon in my waking life. most of the time i have no control over any of my dreams and just going with the flow. whatever is happening it just plays out. when i wake up from some dreams i question myself "why did i do that?" but in the dream it would seem like the natural thing to do..... so weird i've never had a dream where i actually controlled how everything played out. i have the most weirdest dreams some where i see black figures with red eyes, one time i had red eyes with blood coming out like tears and blood from my mouth, i've been abducted by aliens where they were trying to give me a shot and kill me in a dream once, i've dreamed where my entire family (people i claim as family and people who claim me as family, i don't know my biological family) exiled me, friends family, everyone who ever knew me or people i ever knew talked about me, it was big time betrayal. i've had dreams where i can't walk straight like my legs area giving out on me. dreams where aliens walk this planet, dreams where the sky is purple and turquoise, sex dreams with people i don't know, dreams i've been kidnapped held captive and bitten by a mysterious bug that made me sleepy, and the second worst of all was when i had a beerbelly a mustache and i was short o.0 that one was too much for me in real life i'm tall, skinny and i have no facial hair. and lately when i have a dream i have thoughts. like i'm actually talking in my head in my dream ive never done that ever until recently i'll say like for a month now. this is too weird .....i don't know what last night's dream was about with my subconscious mind but it was soo weird,

Hey ,

Today i had a really crazy dream ...
It was about some campaign on a astronaut ship or something that i had to join or be there.
So what happened was i was inside there and we were about 20/30 people i think
so something happened and someone got infected from something and he turned to a creature or something
and we had some war about it , i dont remember everything lol.

I remember after we arrived in earth .. i had to take some airplane you know those which only 1 person can drive
the fight planes. And flyyyyyyyyy above the woods etc and find some place..
while i was flying i had a great feeling and so i wanted to get down and stop to see the feeling , when i got
down somewhere .. near some city or village a monster came to me Lol , so i attacked it by shooting with the bullets of the plane and bombs but there were few more and one got my foot from behind and ate me and i woke up lol.

Peace

.../I met the lead singer and guitar of a band which lately I bought one of its albums. We start talking and I realize that we are the same sort of freaks. Apparently we have even the same psychological disorder and I notice that his t-shirt is dirt with food the same as mine. I'm amazed! Then his partner gets around and we decide that we can go to visit some underworld I know from previous visits. I can remember the smell of roses there, and I ask him if he remembers that smell, like vanilla I say. I'm hungry and wanna eat some pizza before we go there. I know the secret passage where we must go to get that underworld. I can see us slipping into the darkness and start crawling in search for some adventure. I'm fascinated with the possibilities. I think it would be fun if I can share the experience of visiting that underground place/...

* I fell asleep hearing the CD while I was taking a look to the booklet art.

* I remember some past scenes of that world where I have to crawl in the dark to get somewhere.

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

23:30 bedtime

00:00 Friday 2014-06-20

02:00 really early recall, woken from music playing outside

+ car chase in B hills, police cars chasing my team, we're driving muscle cars (Camaros) trying to evade them, up and down roads, while driving I'm trying to put a plastic stencil with a round hole on to some console around the console/gearshift to the right and having trouble doing this. We're listening to the police scanner. Heading down A ave. two cars pull together to block the road. Go DO at this point and one of the drivers (man) is trying to convince the other (man) to have sex with him, who resists the idea.

+ walking through dark hallways I enter an (elevator? entry room?) and open the door on the far side leading to a pitch black hallway, I'm hesistant to enter since it's absolutely dark and I may not find my way back. Then a guard comes out from somewhere and asks "who opened the door?" I say something like "oh is it disallowed?" he comes to me at the door and the entry room is then lit and we're fiddling with a mechanism on the wall the guard wants to turn some key in the mechanism, I think I have my own key just let me use it.

+ in hallway with SB, leaning forwards against a strap attached to waist, laughing and "remembering" (false memory) how we used to do this, and say funny words (said a few)

+ walking through dark hallways, I'm drunk / drinking / nauseous almost throw up, decide to stop drinking. Look forward to meeting with girlfriend and getting drunk because we'll probably "get down to business" afterwards.

+ in a place like a big science museum, I noticed the temperature (first time ever!) and it's really hot. I go into a copy center / administrative office and it's cool in there because I think that they have A/C, it feels much cooler in there, and I feel a strong wind in there. I say "dang how do you guys deal with this heat?" There are some girls inside this office, and I have to pee. There are some guys, there's a car windshield separating me from the office girls, the guy says "just pee here" indicating the windshield, I'm resistant since I think it will splash everywhere, but he says "she likes it, she likes to look at it afterwards."

07:00

+ night-time driving get separated from dad go back meet up again on a corner S2 is there talking about how some people were in a car with a big couch on the roof and he couldn't get on it because it was full of people.

+ album story two women: walking outside in the daytime in a quiet suburban neighborhood, I see what I think is a sign for a memorial, I think this is for NB my old scout master who passed away (true IWL), I enter and speak with them and see the album. Then I'm outside, I'm looking at the neighbor's gate, and see multiple pool payment notices on the ground red/pink/white, I think they're really behind on their payments. I see the landlord, and I speak to him briefly. Then I'm talking to a young man outside, we're talking about how so many people leave to cheaper places (New Jersey?) (I think we're in California). I look up and see the blue sky with light/whispy cirrus clouds and gesture with my hands and say "yeah, but here you get this blue sky all year round. You won't get it in places like Seattle which has grey heavy clouds all year round." The guy agrees with me.



I visit TZ in her room, she's younger than now, thin, wearing a beautiful dress, she's happy to see me and she gives me a long warm hug. She's having a big party in here room there are lots of kids there, everyone's having a good time, she seems really happy. TZ hands me her dress/underwear at some point and I'm reluctant to take it, she's still fully dressed.

Standing in that outdoor neighborhood area with a group of people talking about the two album women, someone says they're (the women) immensely fat. I/we peek over a fence and see the women for a quick glimpse sitting down right on the other side of the fence. I imagine one of the two women is evil because there's a cloud/vapor covering her face when I see it.

Dream
Lucidity
Notes

I accidentally deleted this dream along with countless others a few days ago. I'm rewriting this as best as I can remember.

I was in some sort of apartment complex, which reminded me of the one I live in. I saw 3 kids playing, two boys and a girl. They were blue and looked like aliens. Because they looked like aliens, I tried shooting them. I stopped and wondered why there are aliens in the apartment complex. I counted my fingers and due to my hand having more than 5 fingers, I became lucid.
I felt happy and thought of what to do. My lucidity started to fade and I said "Don't wake me up yet!", which made my lucidity increase. I said "Now I fly" and started to hover and rise. I went through the roof of a building and hovered above the roof of the building I was outside of. Further out, I could see tall apartments like the ones in Venezuela. I put my arms out like superman and tried to fly to a roof but instead of flying towards it, I flew away from it, backwards. I wondered if I had read anything on this and how to fix it, but couldn't think of anything. Impulsively, I moved my legs as if I was swimming but it didn't work. I landed on a roof, still looking at my target. My lucidity must have started to fade again because I yelled "Increase Lucidity!" It worked a little so I yelled "Increase Lucidity to Lucidity Max!" (cheesy I know) It made everything clear and it's the highest lucidity I've reached yet. I looked down and, being a little scared, I jumped down to a roof under me. I ran across rooftops, doing parkour. It felt so good to run and not get tired.
Once I reached another roof, I looked up at the sky, which was filled with grey clouds, as if it was going to rain. I wondered what it meant so I looked at a pile of mattresses that were next to me and asked "What does that sky represent?" I heard noise but no voices. I needed to try a human. I heard people talking behind me so I turned around and saw a group of girls talking on some grass near a tree. I hovered down to the grass and walked towards them. There was a girl laying on her stomach and I said "That girl sucks dick now" and a penis came out from the ground and she started sucking it! I laughed because it reminded me of that one pokemon. The other girls looked intrigued. I walked up to a chubby girl with dirty blonde hair and asked her "What does that sky represent?" We both looked back at the sky, which had a bit more sunlight and visible godrays. We looked back at each other and she told me "You need to have sex." I was surprised at the answer and told her "I can't; I won't. I've been good for 8 months," reminding myself of my purity streak. She laughed and responded "8 months? You wouldn't last 8 minutes under temptation." I thought about the answer and knew she was right. I got up and grabbed her shorts and pulled them down. She told me something about hurrying and I proceeded to have anal sex with her, which felt so good I slowly lost lucidity and woke up.

So far, this is my favorite Lucid dream

.../It has been after some activity I cannot remember, when we all get out of a place and start walking. I don't remember how, but suddenly I'm sitting on the head of a giraffe walking on the streets. We are taking it somewhere. It's a bit vertiginous to maintain balance up here. I'm some meters above the ground, although the ride is nice. We get to the place we're supposed to let this giraffe, it gently puts me back on the ground. I notice we are carrying a baby giraffe too, but a little girl picks it up and accidentally opens its stomach with the zipper of her jacket. It kills the baby and we are all upset but cannot blame the girl. I get out of the room and there's a lot of sand out there. I see some cartoon-like mouses digging holes in the sand. One of them is older, they look like Ralph and Ed from the Honey-Mousers. I get back to the place we started, it looks like a cafe restaurant, there's a horny whore there. I like her but for some reason I cannot think of having sex with her, I just eventually touch and kiss her every time I can. She's hot like hell but apparently there's something that doesn't let me thinking of doing more. Then it's time to close the store, it's a friend's store and I go home carrying a broken padlock in my hand. I see how it is broken and play with it for a while/...

* Alarm clock wakes me up

pre-bedtime: Sensei's combo breaker meditation

23:52 bedtime

00:00 Wednesday 2014-06-18

04:52

+ driving on wide empty tree lined streets, seems like a tech company area, turn left at a corner, pass through some stoplights, turn into a parking garage to the left, enter to a restaurant, (inaudible, something about taking people back to there cars, "fully set command"?)

06:54

+ scenes in a fancy restaurant:

sitting on the floor in the restaurant thinking my shirt is ugly/dirty/not fancy enough, I changed into another shirt

see my old house on TV in the background of some news story, I say to my dad, "Look! There's my old house!" dad says no it's not, I look again and see the house is different: decrepit with big holes in the walls.

Sitting at a table middle-aged attractive woman (family friend) is right across from me, then I'm alone at the table with her. She says she has her own business, I look at something written on a piece of paper, and she has a chess set in her office with an ongoing game on it but none of her colleagues make moves. I say "I love to play chess". I start thinking about chess and visualizing a chess board from the side, and how chess is a battle game with not set pattern, it's an open-ended game where you continue on playing until one side checkmates the other side's king. I'm sort of flirting with this woman, we're not alone at the table but right now there is nobody else around so I'm taking this opportunity to flirt with her and maybe arrange a tryst. Then I see my mother sitting a few tables away and I tell her "why are you sitting so far away, come join us" , then I see my cousin GL across the table to my left of the chess woman, GL look bad/tired, she is blinking her eyes which look red and swollen, "oh I feel so tired" she says, I think about all the medications she could be taking. She was saying how she had to leave her daughter K's dinner party "and it's just not a party without me" she said seriously.

Now there's a man sitting across from me. I look down at my shirt and it's a dirty dark maroon t-shirt, I feel ashamed of this dirty shirt in this fine restaurant, I feel really embarrassed. I look down again and see a much more respectable striped golf shirt (I have this shirt IWL), I say how relieved I am not to be wearing that grubby shirt I saw before, and I tell the man across from me how relieved I am not to be wearing that dirty T-shirt. The man across from me is now wearing the T-shirt I was ashamed of except it wasn't dirty. I describe the shirt by saying "it looked just like the one you're wearing," then he starts to take offense, and I try to clarify that my shirt was dirty and his is not.

Leaving the restaurant in a coat check area, 2 small cute girls are smiling at me and talking to me, they ask me "why do you wear a hat?" I answer "because it makes you look taller." They ask me "Why do you wear shoes??" I answer "Because hey protect your feet." I wanted to take their picture but thought their parents wouldn't approve, the girls followed me on my way out of the restaurant and kept waving and smiling at me for a while.

On the way out, my group is meeting with some asian family, one of my party hugs the man, I shake his hand, unsure about hugging him, he reaches out his hand again as he starts to walk by (not offering a hug), and I half-grasp it quickly and awkwardly as I turn to go.

There are now 3 guys sitting behind the bar, they have a tech software start up. They say their work is "in the cloud" and they can build it every night. They say they have set their schedules really tightly and have planned it out far in advance One guy is working at a computer, a few more guys are leaning back on stools against the bar behind them and look really tired, like they've been working a long time. I feel some compassion and say "I know how you feel, buddy."

A platinum-haired woman with a black eye (like she was hit) approaches and speaks with the bar-tender. The bar is really messy full of little bits of trash. She says she had gone out with somebody, and it was surprising because he gave her a black eye.

+ Then the scene transitions and the platinum-haired woman with a black eye is now a gay man (GM1) at home, I'm DO, he's invited another gay man (GM2) to his place for a blind date. GM2 is tall, thin, very light blonde, pale, albino looking, fine/sharp features like an elf, bright eyes. GM1 is playing his favorite music and is carefully observing GM2 for his reaction to this music, and watches GM2's facial expressions. They walk around, go to GM1's bedroom, in his closet, GM1 says "if you want to f%^& me tonight you'd better do better than you are right now." When he says that his face is half visible looking out from behind some clothing hanging in the closet, one bright blue eye. GM2 says he had no intentions of that. They go on for a while about what sort of relationship they want. GM1 has lots of little things spread out on a table, knick-knacks, including something from his dad which is precious to him, he moves it to a lower shelf.

Get up to record this in the bathroom to avoid bothering wife. Try to get back to sleep, and almost on several occasions get back to sleep. Several times saw dreamlets for that vanished as I "looked at" them. Lost consciousness several times but each time movement or snoring from wife woke me back up so just got up for the day. Having a bed partner really sucks for dreaming.