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Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #215: Hubris

I’m in the office with my friend Z, talking to him about lucid dreaming. I’m in my rolling chair pulled up next to his desk, my foot rudely up on the wall like I was raised in a barn.

I’m telling a story about a guy who was trying to do shared dreaming. I tell Z, “And what he didn’t even realize is that she was in a completely different time zone!” I say this like it’s some kind of punchline and wait for him to laugh. He doesn’t react and I think, Wait, that’s not funny. Not even a little bit. I check my state and realize that I’m dreaming.

Z has vanished, so I get up out of the chair, thinking over my goals. Okay, take things slow at the beginning, then summon Dreamer. I hit the nose pinch reality check and breathe right through. I keep the nose pinch clamped on and enjoy the feeling of breathing in and out through pinched fingers.

I wander slowly around the office, which has grown to about three times its normal size. There are cardboard boxes of paper scattered here and there, something I’ve never seen in the actual office. I walk over to the kitchen, look out at the fridge and spot an extra water cooler that wasn’t there before.

When I return to the office there are more and more boxes of paper. When I notice this, they seem to multiply every direction that I look. An older guy, a well-dressed, gray-haired man in his early 50s, walks through the door and nods a greeting at me before wandering off.

Suddenly I become obsessed with keeping the dream stable and start congratulating myself on what a bang-up job I’m doing of keeping all of this held together. I start thinking of my sleeping body back in bed and wonder what position I’m sleeping in. How cool it is that I’m here and “it’s” over there! I wonder if I’m sleeping on my side right now. Am I breathing in and out at the same rate as I am in the dream?

This stream of boastful thoughts continues for a while until my self-congratulation peters out into... an awakening in my bed.

One thing that's really cool about this dream is that I can still feel some of it.

Lucidity: 7/10
Control: 6/10
Vivacity: 8.5/10

I have a false awakening in my room. I check reality without really paying attention when I realize that I actually have too much fingers (don't remember how many). I rub my hands together as I walk out of my room. I decide to have fun with a girl. I rub my hands together, expecting a girl I know in the living room (everything is the same as in real life). I rub my hands together again.
Ok no more than a minute. Don't waste this whole lucid dream on sex.
I start with a kiss but I can clearly see that it's not going to be fun with her. I try to spawn another girl but my dog appears instead.
Really? F*ck you, subconscious.
I grab the girl's boob and start walking away.
It's better to do something else anyway.

My mom walks out of her room, and I follow her into the kitchen. She doesn't seem to see me, so I shout "MOM!" a few times and poke her on the shoulder. She seems to only hear me a very little bit, so I go and write something on a paper (?).
My mom finds the paper and says something like "I can only see two Cs (Ds?) on there."
I'm starting to think that this could be an OBE (it's not, me and my mom are sleeping at my grandparent's), probably because every thing in the dream is the same as in real life.

I walk through the living room again, and into the backyard. I remember the failed "fun with girl" attempt earlier and decide to try again.
I try to materialize someone in front of me but it doesn't work. So, I turn around, imagine her behind me, and turn around again. There she is.
No. you know what? No. This is a dream, I should do something more special.
I look at a pool on my right.
Waterbending.
I concentrate on the water, but the people inside it are making it harder. I try to do telekinesis on a guy who was sleeping on the ground, but my control sucks. I shout "more control !" and after reflection I add "more telekinesis !" (what about Sage Mode ?). Then I rip the ground under the sleeping guy and throw him in the pool by telekinesis.
His friends are upset, and one of the guys run at me. I throw him and another guy in the pool too, still using telekinesis.
Then, I walk closer to the guy I just threw, and I decide to combine waterbending and regular telekinesis together. I hold my left hand out, and close it. The water around him closes onto his lower body, and he gets shot upwards.
The guy lands onto the ground, and I nod at him. I get in the "Kamehameha position."
"Ka..."
He smiles and gets in the same position as me, facing me.
"Me..."
A ball of energy appears in my hands and in his.
"Ha... me... HA !"
... We both miss
My Kamehameha goes too much to the right and his to the left. We both drop our hands down like "aww."
I have a false awakening, in which I was mimicking the kamehameha (lol). I almost checked reality but I ended up being chased by a killer

Remembered no dreams tonight, only an image on my head of me browsing reddit.

at first i didnt know wheater iw as in the movie or not. it was this apocalyptic one where everyone was zombies but they had somewhat conciousness and they could talk to eachother. i tried to save matt jajeh but i coudlnt get him to the ospital. then i left from sitting with my sister and instead went in the front row. but there was this gay kid there who kept hitting on me i told him to back off. then i sat in the back row and this girl joined me. my whole rugby tea watched me try to hook ujp with her a nd notl some kid on the team was mad that i wasnt nice to the gayk kid.

later i had to escape from this snow prism and iwas with stewie and he got sucked through the phone. he hit some chick with a bike and ran away.

Last night i dreamed about unpacking the foc.us tdcs device , its a tDCS device that i want to buy to induce lucid dreams, the funny thing is that i asked my self how i can be unpacking it while i didn't even order it but failed to recognize it was a dream since i really wanted to try it so i didn't care about reasoning so much, the device looked old and used and i wondered again how can it be used when am the one unpacking it , but failed to get lucid again .

Morning of June 23, 2014. Monday.



This was a very long dream. Much of the first part takes place at distorted composite locations, although one location is much like a slightly bigger and slightly different version of my sister Marilyn’s house. I am with my wife and Marilyn is around, alive, and at a younger age (about forty, I think). There is a scene involving cassette tapes and some sort of idea of dubbing or recording over them while keeping much of the original material (done by removing the erase head, but some clarity is still lost). I am not sure if this is a good idea, although there may also be a few copies of the same material.

At one point, there are two used gold-colored cartridges (from a rifle) standing upright on a taller desk or shelf (on its left side) near the right of the front door when going out. This seems important for some reason, as if it is some sort of wedding memento (regarding my sister) or some such. There is also an idea that my brother-in-law Bob is not in the house very often (and is away for days). This is a recurring theme - my wife and I now living at my sister’s old house in the USA even though my sister lived in a different house sometime after I moved to Australia.

Later, oddly, we are living at the “Green Acres” (television show) house. However, there are very large “hidden” sections toward the back of the house, several of which are far bigger than the house itself, yet somehow were never known about or accessed prior - or perhaps because they are partly within a different dimension. These hidden rooms are some sort of Aztec temples, with a very large number of artifacts along the walls on built-in shelves or wall recesses, many of them stylish statues of somewhat frog-like (or very short and chubby) humans. A visitor to our house uses some sort of electronic device and is able to get information from the artifacts by placing it near them - and an “ancient” but slightly electronic-sounding voice gives information or stories (or even a prayer or chant) related to the item. This device can “read” anything using some sort of invisible holographic rays to both identify it and replay any more significant audio that occurred at any time within range of the object as well as express an anthropomorphic “identity” of what the object “thinks” it is or how it “feels”, even relating to any implied uniqueness.

The longest section comes when I have my own laser rifle, which I find in the temple. There are several other people that join me as I mostly just wander around. I show people what it does a few times. Mostly, I aim it at the floor of an implied hallway in one construction site (somehow being on the second or third floor) and a hole forms, almost as if the area is melting and “peeling” back from the center. The laser itself is mostly red; sometimes a sort of unusual orange color. The other workers do not seem that concerned or annoyed by this disruption from my antics. I and the others walk through the city. At various points, I notice more and more features of this laser rifle, including a longer partially “skeletal” stock that opens out from one side and locks into place, making it about twice as long. Another feature is like a clipboard with an actual real-time instruction manual that also swings out from near the middle and locks into place on one side on the left.

Before I wake, I see an unusual prism-like and (four “leaves”) clover-shaped organic “platform”, almost button-like, on the surface of the palm of my left hand (slightly to the lower left side), implying some sort of blood clot or some such - which created this raised tissue on my hand. It is harder than muscle and a reddish color. As is often the case, my hand seems larger/magnified somehow or “closer” in the dream. This has been a typical aspect of my dreams since earliest memory, that is, body parts seeming “closer” or larger as if my vision was different.

Split into fragments.

1. Playing through Super Metroid, only something is different. Sprites from the original nes game are spliced into this game. The most notable instance (and the only one I can accurately recall), is Kraid taking on his original chibi form.

2.I'm fully aware there was something before this, but I can't remember it. Either way, A young woman with black hair who looked like an older version of Asuka from Tekken, in terms of facial features, had apparently helped me and my family out with something and we were now on opposite ends of a ravine. She gave a confession of some kind and narrowly avoided a rather sudden boulder, which destroyed the only bridge across this ravine and led to her falling in it. What was once a bottomless pit, turned into a lake of lava, with a rock platform bouncing up due to a geyser and catching the girl. The platform swiftly gave way, but someone in our party was able to save her at the last second.

3.Me and my sister are stood outside a supermarket, waiting for someone. My grandma, wearing truly hideous clothes, walks up to the shop, gives a greeting to us and enters. A man who looks to be in his thirties walks up to my sister and they leave together. What follows is a third-person view of my sister and the man, who are sat next to each other, using different computers. The only image I can remember on any of the monitors is a card game that looks like solitaire. Periodically, he will glance at her monitor and make amendments to whatever she is doing. These include entering passwords, closing webpages and opening new ones.

4. Outside my college, which has got a brand new park build right at its doorstep. Only images I remember are a bench and a view of the back wall of an interior courtyard.

5. Me and my friends are in an IT suite playing various Nintendo games on PC. Only one that stands out is a demo of the new smash bros that I remember only displayed the title screen, which was a fusion of the two box arts, having the characters and positions of the 3ds version with the fire of the wii u version.

6. Me and my friends are in a rush to get away from somewhere. A general feeling of panic is prevalent. We locate a plane and enter. The interior is typical for a plane, with the exception of the pilot's and passenger's area being conjoined with each row consisting of four seats. I immediately dash to the front of the plane, intending to fly it, but Mark (one of my friends) beat me to it, so I take the co-pilot's seat. Two others sick next to us. What follows is flight around Leads at a dangerously low altitude, whilst we joke, laugh and generally forget our panicked beginnings.

June 22, 2014

---

I was with a really mixed group of my friends; Zukin was there, as were at least two people from high school (my ex and Annie, one of my best friends), as well as some people I know from random times of my college career. We were all sitting at a table in some sort of large cafeteria-type place. Maybe a dorm's dining hall on campus? Now that I think about it, all of the people i nthe group, even the ones from highschool, went to my college, except for Annie.

Anyways. I digress too much. We were sitting at a large table, deciding what to do for Spring Break, which was in a few weeks. Zukin and I suggested we all go to Germany and/or Austria. The group liked the idea of that, and so we loosely decided to make it happen. We all went our separate ways.

About a week later (one and a half weeks until SB). I was walking around downtown, when i saw one of the girls from the group, a friend from high school (actually, from middle school! Wow. Known her a long time) was walking dwn the street with bright, bright orange hair. I asked her what was up, and she said she had gone to the salon to get her hair colored, and they'd told her she could walk around outside while the color set. She'd gone walking around, and forgotten to go back, and her hair had turned bright orange like this. She was skeptical about whether or not she would be going on the trip or not because of this. I told her it looked awesome (I love orange) and that even if she didn't like it, she could just re-dye it before the trip. She said she'd get back to me about it.

Jump ahead about half a week, and I'm online, looking at flight prices. I found a super great deal, and booked it right away, then messaged everyone in the group about it. They all said they would get the tickets very soon...

Jump again to the day before we leave for the trip; I am staying the night at Annie's apartment and for some reason my ex needed a place to stay that night, so Annie invited him, too. We all talked about the trip, and I found out that Annie had forgotten to get her ticket, so I was really worried that she wouldn't be able to go anymore, but we got online and found that tickets were still available for that flight.

The next morning, we all met up at the airport. It's the same airport that's always in my dreams. This airport is... a bit hard to describe. It's got bits from all the airports I've ever been in, as well as some aspects of Grand Central Station in Chicago and some of the train stations Zukin and I went to in Germany (like the entrance of Stuttgart HBF) The airport is even more maze-like than most real airports, causing my dream self to have gotten lost multiple times... There are also two different runways that I've seen in this airport...

Anyways, we got to Germany in one piece. I don't remember much about the plain ride. We got to Germany, and I got the rental car we'd arranged. Zukin and I went, by memory, to a campsite we had gone to in Austria before. But the road there was like the one in the beginning of Spirited Away. We were all in two cars, since we were so many people, and at some point the other car lost us. But at that point it was just one road and they couldn't go the wrong way without tearing through gobs of trees, so we didn't worry about them.

Oh. Did I mention we were all in full larp gear? Well, we were. Apparently the campsite in Austria was having a special event for larpers. Zukin and I were trying to get them all into larp.

We park the car when we reach the site, get out, and head toward the registration desk. There are so many people. It's more like a ren-fair than a larp event. At least, there were way more people than any larp event I've been to. We lost one of the guys in the group (oddly enough, the one person in the group that wasn't a person I know IRL)

Mel (the one I've known since middle school) asked, "Where's Bret (or Brad. I couldn't hear too well over the noise of the larpers around us) Garrett?"
"I dunno. The reservation is under his name though..."
I waved my hand. "He'll be fine, and I can speak German so it's all good."

We got up to the desk and I asked in German if we could check in. The women responded in English, with a pretty fake accent. "Name?"
"It'll be under Bret (or Brad) Garrett."
The woman, who was rather large but very very friendly looking, looked through some papers, and then handed them to me, adding, "You know, you can stay for free if you go into the woods, have a drink, and tell three strangers you love them."

I went back to the group and told them about the deal. Everyone seemed pretty okay with it, and as we were heading toward the woods, Bret/Brad came hastily over, hiding behind us. "Those guys jumped out of nowhere and started singing weird shit at me...!" I turned and saw a group of young men, each with an instrument, singing love songs to Bret/Brad. I think the people from the other car were just joining us as I woke up. I was laughing at Bret/Brad.

22. June 2014

These days I don’t get enough sleep because I had to do some important stuff so I always went to bed very late (at least 1~2 am).
Today it was the same case because of my prom but since current room doesn’t have any roll shutters so i woke up really early. I'm always already at 9 am normally awake..


My Lucid and Recall Techniques

*ADA
*Intensive MILD routine
*WBTB
* after waking up going through all my dream signs so i can get the chance to really recall any dreams (fragments)

Dreams
( I had several dreams this night but i could only recall two dreams fully and the rest were only fragments and also not very interesting)

[U]First dream/U]
I entered a building what supposed to be my high school but it doesn’t look like it and then I said hey in those moments I must do my RC's because maybe i'm dreaming.. I looked after other things what was maybe isn't in a right place or after DC's who always appear but don't exist or i actually can't meet anymore. But somehow I didn't realize that I was dreaming although I was sure I did! In my dream i was in 'my' high school but i didn't have any classes because i'm actually finished with school but i'm still waiting to get my school report. So in the mean i goofed around with other together. Then some teachers came to the hall where i was and said we were too loud and just disturb the other students. After his warning i went to my classroom and goofed there instead haha suddenly someone came from behind and tickled me so hard that I almost fell to the ground... and that person was and still is of course one on my best friends who i saw just yesterday at my prom and i was so happy to see her 'the next day' again because i somehow remembered to ask her if she's gonna go to school today but since school ends very soon she said to me that she had better stuffs to do. Nonetheless i was glad that she came anyways. Together we went to the hall again to just jump around and dance to the music we listened to. With her everything was more funny than doing it all alone After doing it for a while she became hungry and we decided to go eating. At the restaurant we ordered so much food to eat and i didn't mention yet but my (self-)awareness was abnormally high in comparison to my usual awareness is dreams. The result of it was that i could enjoy my food with every bite and the dessert was the best: an apple pie only for me damn words can't describe how delicious that was! Luckily i could eat my heavenly meal up because not long after that i woke up. That dream sounds very short but for me it

After waking up i thought damn i was so close to have a lucid dream again... Then before going to sleep again I was doing my MILD routine again

Second dream
Somehow i was on my way home from school haha like i just dreamt the other dream on. But i was on my bicycle and that was a normal thing for me although my school is far away from my home.. Nevertheless at that moment i thought about a song and then jared leto came to my mind and guess what happened afterwards haha jared leto appeared while riding on a pink bicycle. That was such a funny view because he was pink from head to toe as well. Then i didn't waste any time and began to talk with him while we both riding on our bikes. Oh it was so nice spending time with one of my favorite people. I didn't even need to become lucid to see him in my dreams After spending so much time together it was time to also say goodbye to each other. I wasn't really sad because we spend intensively time with each other ^.^ In my mind i thought about how i must doing sport to be fit so why not taking another ride with the bicycle? After riding a while around where it was so hilly i got tired and wanted to take a break. Down the hill i saw a small antique building and it awakened my interest so i decided to go inside. In that moment i thought about the book the accidental time machine and how much i hate it and that was the reason i guess for the thing i found inside that bungalow. Like the title indicates i found a time machine inside and then i got into another person and saw his own perspective and that someone i really dislike and used the time machine before me and got into trouble. My first thought was serves him right... LOL. but i thought whatever he did in the past it is my responsible to help him and i also wanted to try it out how it would feel to travel through time and it was not as i expected it to be because as i pressed the bottom of that machine i was immediately somewhere else and additionally
that thing only went forward. After my first attempt i saw where his troubles lies and try to handle it in that time but without success. So i used that time machine again and the situation got only worse for him because in that time nobody knew him because of his attitude towards a person that person just erased his identity. And i just thought what a pity that you can't go backwards in time because would be much easier. All in all i used the time machine once again and we finally fixed it and he just began a new life and we actually became good friends. After my tome travel I went out to go home and but never reached it haha because there where so nice things like a beautiful lake on the side walk and much more interesting stuff to adore not to forget i had the chance to attend a medieval festival! It felt like the dream lasted for over a week because of my time travel

Emotions

First dream: First it was very uncomfortable an das I did my RC’s in my dreams quite often nowadays but somehow without success this time :c But because it wasn’t a nightmare I brain wasn’t numb enough so i couldn’t think. That’s why with my consciousness I changed my surroundings freely and as I got to see one of my best friend my mood went up and i was so happy to see her again in such a short time. And then we went eating and since I was pretty self- aware of everything and that’S why I had the chance to taste that good food with all my senses and our dessert made me the happiest girl on earth! Haha these days i was so into apple pies that i even dreamt of it.

Second dream: Seeing Jared Leto it was an overjoyed feeling and I was incredibly happy that words just can’t describe it. Haha I had him only for myself not like in concert where everyone around you are just screaming and singing along with him and it sounds so shitty...


All in all my dreams made me speechless in a positive way and I’m still happy whenever I think about seeing my best friend and eating with her my favorite dessert and it was so vivid that i thought it was real. Btw must think about new RC's methods!

Date: 22nd of june.
Total sleep: Unknown.
Daytime Techniques: RC's, mantras, awareness, melatonin.
Lucid Techniques: Mantra.
Recall Techniques: Dream journal
Fell Asleep: Unknown.
Dream Title: The food pebbles.
Dream: I start out in a schoolyard, surrounded by large school walls. I eventually leave for a graveyard to collect some magical pebble-like item, it seems i collect them by a fruitninja-type game. It is way too much work for 1 person, so my familiy picks me up in a car and we collect them together, but at a different place. Some of the keywords lying in the back of my head about this dream are> Kite, car, zombies.
Awake: Unknown.
Vividness: 8/15
Awareness: Occasional.
Length: 5
Emotions: Happiness, fear.
Dream Signs: school, friends&family.

LD fragment: I am in a fotball binge. The only keywords that linger in my mind are: Animal rights and discussion.

This is actually going to be slightly abridged, because I have to write another essay today, and I don't feel like writing an essay before I even write an essay.

Staked (James 3)

This dream was extremely long, and apparently it was in three parts, so I am having trouble remembering the beginning, but I was lucid.

I was following James down a dark cave. He was telling me important things, most of which I can't remember anymore. But we discussed three main things: I was to go on a mission. This mission was long, it was dangerous, and it could get scary at times. The gist of the mission was to locate a specific person in their dream and attack them.

"Cool," I thought. I'd already had a few lucid nightmares under my belt.

He continued to lead me down this dark cave until we entered a room with a dark, long winding staircase.



When we got to the bottom, we stood on the ledge of an underground lake full of green misty water.

"Charon!" James called out to the ferryman. This was weird, oh this was weird as hell (I'm so punny).

"Got a penny for the ferryman?" Charon asked. James scoffed and summoned two gold coins.

"Take her to the other side, she won't need a ride back," he then turned to me, "your team will be waiting for you."



I found myself in the middle of a bustling mall. I quickly found my team mates.

Our weapons of choice: glowing sky blue arrows and stakes. Interesting. We took a moment to look around the mall, trying to gather out who we were supposed to attack vs who was just a normal dream character. But it was seriously crowded here.



There were so many f'ing people. Nevertheless, we knew who we needed to attack. It was the people with the blue/black energy signatures. They seemed to be in the middle of everything, as if protected by the swarms of people.

One of my team mates shot an arrow at a random DC. The arrow hit, the DC fell to the ground, and then dematerialized. He raised an eyebrow, "and none of the DC's even notice?"

I tried the same. I pointed an arrow at a nearby DC and shot. The arrow impaled him. He looked up at me, as if annoyed. And then dematerialized.

No panic. No mass chaos. Creepy.

"Well...I guess we should get a move on, then?" I suggested to my team mates, who were all (not surprisingly) a little confused.

We converged: "So, I think that the DCs are guarding the people that we need to attack. I'm not sure if eliminating them will help, though it wouldn't hurt to find out."

We stalked the mall until we entered a small retail store with fewer people. One of our targets was there.

"We'll take the surrounding dream characters - you take the man," a team mate suggested to me.

Glowing blue arrows began to fly everywhere, illuminating the dark, mahogany room. I aimed my bow carefully and shot. My target turned around, a little stunned, and then laughed, pulling the arrow out of him.

"Not dead! NOT DEAD NOT DEAD!!" I yelled out. Mass confusion among my team mates. The target smiled wickedly. He raised his arms into the air, summoning something. Summoning his dream characters.

Suddenly, we were being ambushed by mobsters. Our team broke and flew in many different directions, but the mobsters flew too. FUCK.

I couldn't figure out why my shot hadn't killed him...but wait...THE STAKES. I reached into my bag and pulled out a white stake. Flying quickly, I located a target and fiercely swooped down in front of her, jamming the white stake into her heart. Blood gushed out from all directions and she collapsed. Nice.

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" One of my team mates called from above me, pointing to the door. He had already rounded up everyone else. We raced out of the doors of the malls, still being chased by the flying mobsters. We flew through mazes of city trying to lose them - and eventually we did.

Me, being a very fast flyer, was up ahead with a different team mate. We decided to stop to let everyone else catch up.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?" He asked me with a smile, noticing that I was trying to hold back a laugh. We were waiting below some building and out of the window we heard music, but it was coming out all jumbled up and ridiculous. I was laughing at the dream.

"Pssshhh I bet you can't even dance to this," he laughed.

"Well! I probably can't!" I admitted. The song was so messed up, it was a mixture of Gangnam Style and Wiggle. He started trying to dance to it.

"I'm like, about 98.3% certain that's not how you do the Gangnam style!"

"Yeah, whatever, I was just being creative!" He laughed. Our team mates finally caught up to us and we regrouped.

"Okay - so, we have a few options. There is a layout to this dream I've noticed. It may seem endless, but its contained into sections. There is one part we haven't touched yet," he pointed to a map/directory.

"That looks pretty terrifying," I added, based on the picture. It was black with white scribbly writing.

"Yeah, but it's one of our last options."

We located the area in the dream and entered. It was a dark parking garage. Of course. I woke up.

abridged part: don't accept anything from DC, keeping the item with you keeps them alive (chocolate shop), more stakings, mass chaos erupts. moving sidewalk. everything definitely underground.

My party is holed up in an expansive wooden mansion. There are 4 of us: A gruff and burly mercenary turned circumstantial ally, a wheezing old man fitting the mentor/teacher niche, a beautiful girl with large blue eyes y yo el protagonista. We've barricaded ourselves inside as a last resort, and are desperately making a plan. We've escaped our shapeless pursuers in the woods and night is falling, but we don't know how long it'll be until they reach us. There's an argument and everyone but the mercenary decides to stay at the mansion for the night. Frustrated, the mercenary storms off. Although the house is huge with a high ceiling, the lights are sparsely placed and serve only to throw long shadows along every surface. I grab the girl's hand and climb up the solid wooden staircase in the foyer, looking for some privacy. We find a small dusty room with a desk and a thick persian rug, and sit down to eat, propping our packs against the desk and lying back onto them. We sit there in companionable silence, and continue holding hands on the rug. I smile at her, and notice how lovely her face is, with delicate features and a brilliant grin.



Suddenly feeling impulsive, I look at her conspiratorially and lead her to the window. Outside, snow is falling softly and I open the frigid metal clasp, letting the window swing outward. I feel the snow drift in, and land lightly in my hair. I glance at the girl, and she's laughing and catching the flakes with her tongue. Suddenly, she starts and points frantically out the window. I turn quickly and the outside world is engulfed in a blindingly bright light that swallows up everything and washes it away.

Last night I fell asleep fast and smooth, however next morning I was in for an unpleasant subconscious suprise...

1. The failure

I'm very stressed as I'm working on my math-exam, I don't understand most questions and understand my own answers even less. I feel regret that I haven't learned more and I'm stunned by the complexity of the exam itself. When I get home I somehow see a meter in the bottom-right of my vision, it jumps between 40/100 and 60/100 and eventually evens out at 50/100, I feel relieved. That was a representation of my score for the exam, I barely made it. But then it got very blurry and suddenly fell back to 20/100 and I knew I had failed. Visions of my teacher telling me the bad news that I have to do the whole year again, the shame the stress, I start walking around my house talking to myself "You're not going to fail, it can't be!"... "How could you let this happen!", I feel like I'm about to lose my balance when I whisper to myself "Wake up". Suddenly I wake up and look at my clock, it's 08:02 and I calm myself, it was just a dream, the exam went quiet good IRL. After 10 minutes I fall back asleep.

2. Deep blue riches

I'm in a tomb, deep underground doing some sort of excavation for old relics, in the middle of the tomb there's a deep pool and my sister tells me I should look at the bottom. I jump in a swim to the bottom, I don't have problems holding my breath, I could stay under for hours it seemed like. I start digging the sand at the bottom and after half a meter I see a small object glowing, I pull it out of the sand and it's a large ruby. I swim to the surface and anounce it to my sister who's very enthousiastic. I go back down and keep digging, suddenly I pull two MASSIVE blue saphires out of the mud and I'm nearly yelling from joy underwater. I quickly swim back up and tell her that each of these are worth like 10 billion!

3. I lost them...

I'm driving in an old-timer around some mountainous bay, it looks like the Golden Gate bridge is in the distance crossing the bay but I take some small dirt road near some dangerous Cliffs. I feel like I lost the large gems from previous dreams and so missed a chance of becoming rich, I'm dissapointed and thinking about what to do now. I drive really fast and suddenly go over a ramp, the car flies high up in the air and goes over the bay, eventually landing at the side of a cliff, I jump out and land in the water. As I swim to the shore a woman that looks like a secretary looks at me like I'm crazy but I ignore her. I look back to the water and I'm intimidated by the large amount of agressive fish I see swimming around, I feel like there are new riches at the bottom of the bay but I'm scared the fish would eat me. After some time I notice the fish are actually eating other fish and so gather my courage to jump in. I look around and at some point see what looks like an old pirate ship almost completly burried in, I can see the deck of the ship with an acces to the hold of the ship but it's covered with a wooden grate, it looks very old though so I try pulling it out. First it doesn't work but the second time I manage to break a piece of. I see something shiny and pick it up, with high hopes I swim to the surface but then I see it's an old rusty nail and I tell it to the woman standing at the shore.

Tomorrow I have to deliver my books to the school again and next Thursday it's the verdict about my exams.

Morning of June 22, 2014. Sunday.



In the first section of my dream I am at an unfamiliar school, though it does have a semicircular road that goes in and out again, similar to my old middle school, but over a wider area. A boy of about ten and in a car driven by his parents, I assume, is throwing javelins, one after another, through some sort of metal ring attached to a corner of the fence. He is to my left as the car is moving towards me but I am not directly in my dream at this point. He manages to get each javelin perfectly through the ring regardless of the distance from when he first started. This seems quite normal, as he had practiced most of his life to reach this level of accuracy and perfection.

Later, I am in the field on school grounds. I attempt a javelin throw and it just missises going through the center of the ring, only an inch or so from the outer area, slightly to the upper right. The detail of focus is very clear. I try throwing it at what I am looking directly at without intentionally aiming.

In another section of my dream, I am focused on trying to work out something involving letters and numbers. I am writing a book, apparently, on different “hidden” patterns in my life that have always meant something to me, relating to patterns that “flowed” through several layers. At one point, I say to an unknown male how everything in the world must fit into a certain pattern of totality relating to my life’s path. Eventually, I focus on the word “if” which means infinite potential. I reason that “i” is the ninth letter and “f” is the sixth. Therefore, it makes the number 96, which is one of my main numbers in life other than the number twenty-two (as well as eleven). For some reason, I write a supposedly enigmatic sentence relating to the words “is” and “as”. There is something about the word “six” being “xis” in reverse".

I am back in Cubitis in the living room at the large wooden table by the windows to the east that look out into the backyard. My mother is sitting in a chair on the south end of the room closer to the windows. There is something about being in twelfth grade, or doing twelfth grade work when I was in fifth grade. This seems true in-dream.

There is a point at where I am in the bathroom looking at the corner near the ceiling where the walls meet and notice a crack in the concrete along the corner itself and am thinking that maybe I could paint the inside of some rooms. Oddly, I think of how I have lived here in the Cubitis house “all my life”, which seems unusual, but which is not true at all, as I have not lived there since the middle of 1978.

I am later studying the pattern of the band name “The Fixx” - my favorite band for many years. I remember that “FIXX” looks a bit like XXII in reverse - the Roman numerals for number twenty-two. I then reason that it could also represent 696 in that “f”, again, is the sixth letter, “IX” is nine in Roman numerals, and the additional “X” is the twenty-fourth letter (and 2 + 4 = 6). This seems to “fit”. Interestingly though, it could also represent 6966 in a similar way. In which case “f” is six, “i” is the ninth letter, and each “x” being 24 (2 + 4 = 6). My dream focus seems to go around in circles in these layered associations.

[12:00 AM]

I began the dream with my current roommate (big football guy) towards our apartment, and he remarks on how he's frustrated with work, but I don't believe I really care. I actually think I laugh (in a polite way ), and try and steer the conversation elsewhere (in a manner where I don't have to think about the conversation, and can just say uh-huh as we walk). I make it back to my room, forgetting all about my roommate, and find my sister there. We are about to go to sleep, and tell each other we're going to be lucid tonight. I manage to fall asleep in the dream, and wake up in the dream, where I see my sister already awake, sitting on the bed across from mine. I talk to her for a little bit before I just blurt out "I must be dreaming."

At this point, I don't actually have the sensation that I'm lucid- rather, I dreamed of myself dreaming and being lucid. I believe my sister was also lucid in this dream, and we actually met on the astral plane. She looks at me and then asks me a question; all she says is "birds?" and looks expectantly at me (earlier I had a conversation with HorseLime about what we'd ask the DC that represented each other in our dreams, and I think I had something similar with my dream sister). I think for a while, sputtering out a couple of words, and then settle on "net," as in capturing a lot of birds. She seems satisfied with this and her face begins turning blue. She has trouble speaking, and I think she is choking or not breathing in real life.

I began shaking my head violently in the hopes of waking up, and am back in the room "awake." My sister is again already awake, and tells me she was testing me. She is scared she'll somehow choke in reality, and wanted to see if I'd be able to help her if we could connect on the astral plane. Since our rooms are next to each others in the apartment, I tell her we should knock on the wall in a certain pattern to signal if the other needs help (we did similar things when we were kids, though generally as games and a 3-knock pattern for "911"). She says something along the lines of that being unnecessary, but I respond I am also worried about choking. I'm not sure what we settled with on that, though I do remember feeling happy I passed this test, and I did at some point have a Jesus-like imagery (perhaps I felt like a god).

My mind jumps to a third person view, and flashes around school kids in a privileged school. It was like watching an advertisement for this place, and a variety of different computer science terms were strung together as the ad was playing. My mind eventually jumped to the actual school, and I saw some of the kids who were in the ads. They had a rating system to determine who was the smartest, and I remember the kid who held this title was a tiny Latino guy. My view then jumped to a blackboard where class began, and the teachers (there were two) as well as a student TA began teaching about the use of variables. I got the vibe that this was a pre-algebra course, and that the school prided themselves on their teacher to student ratio. Regardless, the actual teaching was pretty much gibberish.

Later on I was taking a test with HorseLime. I don't remember what it was about, but do remember HorseLime's embarrassment for asking a teacher for clarification repeatedly throughout. I may have teased him about this.

- Fragment: At one point while I was asleep in the dream, I was a ghost chasing my sister like PacMan.

[3:00 AM (?)]

I didn't open my eyes when I awoke, but am guessing it was around 3:00 AM. I heard the girl next door crying and yelling on the phone to her boyfriend presumably. I then had the following dream:

I was on the computer, chatting with Lisa Ann, successful porn star. She recently finished writing a series of books, possibly autobiographical, and I believe I was interviewing her. I don't remember my specific questions, but we seemed to have hit it off, and I got this notion that I was now her pupil. I was hoping for a recommendation with some porn competition, and thought I could ride her success to get a bit farther. At one point, I was on the toilet and I had her stack of books, wrapped in vacuum sealed plastic. I remember feeling satisfaction opening the books, and being amazed by how thick each book was (though the number 80 is floating around as the number of pages of each book). I finish using the bathroom and am aware she is downstairs. I want to thank her in person, as I was hoping for a blowjob. I go downstairs, meekly say thanks for all her help (which she responds, "sure, no problem"), and I leave quickly.

I'm later out on a field, where girls had to line up. Guys in succession were being picked, who then had to pick a girl, pull her pants down, and eat her out. I was waiting my turn, when this big guy who looked vaguely familiar was picked. He picked a girl I knew a while back, #059-354, and I was very grossed out by this fact. I start walking away but as I do so, the big guy decides to pick me up and throw me on the ground, though only lightly as a joke. I try and sit up, but he keeps stepping in my way, and then complaining that I am the one who is causing all this trouble. He finally lets me up, and we do a handshake (with a neat little slide of the palms), and go our separate ways. I didn't like him, but he must've thought we were friends.

As I'm walking I end up in a baseball lineup. I'm waiting in a very long line, and am probably in the 6th position before swinging. I was nervous that I would swing and screw up for the team. Ronald Weasley was standing behind me, commenting the same. I remember #740-9421 was able to hit the ball, and nearly got a home run but fell short. I finally made it to bat, and managed to get a home run my first swing. I was happy, and I began rounding this giant field (not a baseball diamond) that I believe was the same as my middle school field. The people in front of me stayed in front of me as I rounded the field, and I eventually stopped with them at this presentation on the other side.

People were crowding around, trying to listen to some man discuss racism. Eventually the crowd dispersed except for a guy I recognized from middle school dressed in a nice suit, and myself. Before us remained an old white man and Barack Obama, discussing the prevalence of racism. Eventually the white man stops talking, and Obama begins discussing a program that me and the other guy could join, called IO (as in input/output). The guy from middle school began making up a lot of excuses on why he can't do this, and Obama quickly disregards him and looks at me. I comment on the fact that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I would most definitely join this program.

We both then head over to a car, and begin picking up kayaks and placing them on the hood. I again think of a recommendation, and how great it would be to get one from Obama, as well as some great guy in computer science back in my school. After piling the kayaks I get into the car, and immediately feel choked. Part of the car was against my neck, pressing my head to the roof of the car. I loosen it up, lean the car back, and look around. Obama has now turned into a really old white man, and the car we were in was very dirty and unkempt. I don't think too much of it though, and notice a pair of headphones were strategically hanging off of part of the car next to my ear. The radio was playing through this, as well as the car stereo, and I heard snippets of a comedy show blaring out, very closely echoed into my ears from the headphone. Unfortunately I don't remember any of the jokes.

I somehow make it to the backseat and have a bag of trail mix like food. A girl enters through the side of the car, and the old man is sitting there as well (kind of like in the back of a limo, but still very dingy). I offer her some of the trail mix, which turns out to consist of nothing but grapes, raisins, and "watermelon" (it looked like flat sunflower seeds with a watermelon texture). She politely refused, and I pulled out one of the watermelons, which turned into a cookie in my hand. I found some chocolate dip nearby, and dipped the cookie, taking a bite afterward. The girl commented on how sweet that must be.