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Don't want to post my dreams today, so I'll just jot down some notes so I don't forget.

1. mom waking me up
2. ian is 12 (dani)
3. quinn turns into a girl

June 29, 9:44 PM

I have read many articles now about Lucid Dreaming, and I believe that will help me to have a lucid. I have many doubts on what I would do if i had a lucid, yet I must not give in to those doubts. I learned that you must stabilize your dream and do a reality check whenever you are in a new dream. I will try to appeal to all my senses before going around and see what I can do. I am very excited about this, because I have never had a lucid where I could remember my senses and how it felt when I woke up. I will make sure to write everything down after my dream, specially details and sensory details.

I hope I can have a lucid in less than 2 weeks, seeing I am excited as I could be. I will try many methods, but my first one will be DILD.

Wish me luck

Joseph

Type: Regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I was in my school. The school has a theatre with a big stage and a long backstage area with two doors (one on either side) that leads out to the two wings of the stage. Slightly colorized, hard tan flooring with beige walls and lighter, pale blue accents around the door frames. It was clearly rectangular, and in the dream it was about twenty by fourteen feet.

I came through the left backstage door. The room was lit by a few lights, but it wasn't as bright as it should've been. I walked a few steps and looked around; one of the teachers from my school was walking towards me. She was shorter than in real life, probably only 5 feet, and had very dark brown hair down to her shoulders. She was wearing a thin black cardigan and a black shirt with a pink, pale orange and pale red floral pattern around the shoulders. She walked right up to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"There's something here that you shouldn't see," she told me in an informative tone. She tried to turn me around, using her hand to force me to turn around, and I walked a few paces with her. She then took her hand off my shoulder and just kept walking, opened the door I'd originally came from, and closed it.

I turned around and looked down the backstage, towards where the door opposite was. There was a big bloody stain on the wall next to that door. It looked like the stain you'd get if something had been sandwiched between two walls and the gunk started to seep/bleed through the two walls. It was darker red, which gradated to a regular red, and then had what I'd like to call "cloud-shaped" linear blobs of orange and red around it. It was just a realistically-shaped blob of color, no splatters or anything (because I assume it came from something in between the walls), but it was definitely blood.

I remember thinking, "hm, that's weird". Not as in the "I could be dreaming" type of weird, but just the general weird. And I wasn't unsettled either.

I exited the room and entered a much smaller one, almost like a broom closet. This room was tinted with lighter, pale blue lighting, and was probably only seven by seven feet. There was a C-shaped countertop in one corner of the room, extending down three adjacent walls (one end didn't go along the whole wall and stopped halfway), and cabinets above them. The top of the counter was white laminate, while the cabinets were pale brown wood. There was a square, light-colored laminate wood table with grey trim in the middle of the room. Two of my classmates were sitting on the counter, side by side, and one of my teachers was sitting cross-legged on the table. He was looking at papers in an open binder, which was positioned on one of my friends' laps.

I looked at the paper on top and "knew" it was chemistry, but they were calculation problems that looked almost like trigonometry.

"Do you need help?" I asked.

"No, [teacher's real name] is helping me, but thanks anyways".

I can't remember what happened after that.

I have recently had several dreams that I was unable to journal.

I remember seeing a girl of about 12 or 13 walking with her mother drinking milk from her
mother's nipple. They were just walking like everything was normal.

I had a dream the next night or the night after that that my boy was grabbing these button
things. There were so many, he couldn't get them all without putting some in his mouth. I may
have recommended he put them in his mouth to hold them, and then to grab the rest with his
hands.

I then realized he could choke on them, so I told him to just open his mouth and let them
fall out. He started to let them fall out, but he choked on one. I tried to hit his back to get
it out of his throat, but it didn't work. He quit moving.

There was another dream where I was in a college environment I think. There was a girl who
was OK looking, but I found her to be incredible in my dream. I was going to kiss her. She pulled
away, but implied that later in the evening we would sleep together.

I had taken some B vitamin's 2 nights in a row that I had vivid dreams.

I was going o travel to the "city." An unknown city. A "city that never sleeps." I'm looking for someone, but not quite sure what it is. I hitch-hiked on a car. I saw the busy streets from a strange perspective; it was as if I was a third person watching everything like a movie.

I arrived at a hotel at night. There were people. We were outside the hotel. Huge tiles on the ground. Something is hidden under one. Then I realized/was told that others are hidden in "both worlds." I need to find them.

Ideas: "opulence disappears" and (SE)

I have a sense of mission or quest. I'm not sure for who or what, or why. It's just that "I have to." This sense of mission distracted me from trying to check.

NOTES:

Listened to lucid dream induction mp3s before and while asleep.
Slept telling myself I will remember my dream.

---------

quest/mission
parallel worlds
strange place
strange perspective
huge tiles

6/29/2011.F.hs.paulasMissedRC
5:30 AM

... I'm in hs rushing between classes. I don't have time to smoke and I'm pissed.

Stairwells. Hitler? Secret books? Escaping by eating our way through a giant pancake?

Later, after waking up and trying to mild...

Paul and I are looking into a doorway, watching his mom (Paula) look at her hands to see if its a dream. Her hands are huge. Paul doesn't seem to care. The dream continues and I soon wake up.

I can't believe that I missed such an obvious sign...

The dream starts off with me walking through a field. There is a thick and heavy fog and I cannot even see the ground under my feet but I can feel it - it is very bumpy and unstable, like I am walking on frozen pillows or something, if that makes any sense. I am walking up a slight incline and the fog recedes a bit when I reach the top.

The unstable ground I am walking on is covered with thousands of bodies as far as the eye can see. There are so many bodies and they are piled on top of each other so high that I cannot see any natural ground at all. Most of the bodies are men in green or grey uniforms but there are also women and children laying about. Despite all of the dead bodies, many of which are in various states of decay, I don't remember smelling the rot around me.

In front of me is a small pond. There are bodies in the water but not as many as on the ground and the water is a dark reddish brown because it is filled with blood and rotting flesh. I walk past the pond and to the other side of the hill, but it is slow going because stepping across the mounds of bodies is difficult. The fog has lessend, but there are still bodies as far as the eye can see and I cannot get away from them no matter how far I go.

I was in the woods walking down a gravel road that had a few houses on it. It reminded me of where my sisters grandma lived and what I have always known as the "holler" I was with reece and his girlfriend of that time along with a few other people I don't know. I went off by myself for a while. There was a house at the top of the hill. I felt I shouldn't go there but did anyway. I went in and started cleaning. Reece and his gf came up to the window I was looking out of while doing dishes. They asked me to come with them so I did. We walked back down the gravel road and got on a bus heading for I don't know where. I sat down in a seat alone. Reece was sitting next to his girlfriend. I wanted to talk to him but wanted not to show him I had a crush on him. I respected her and him and didn't want to show my feelings on that for I still wanted to be able to be a friend and valued his opinion. I wished he sat closer. (I feel odd in groups of people as well. I felt I didn't know her so that made me uncomfortable along with the weirdness from trying to hide how I felt too). Then to my amazement the someone came up and asked for his seat. I felt guilty for wishing for him to sit closer. ( I manifest things I want sometimes even in life and felt bad for her because of what I wanted ) then reece sat next to me. I looked over at her and I felt she was giving me the "stink" eye. I was so distracted by my feelings of guilt. That I forgotten what I wanted to say to him. I don't recall saying anything at all. Then he got up and went to the front of the bus. I began feeling sad. Then I wanted a reason to go up there and not be back here with her giving me the stink eye. I then notice there is a cigarette in my hand that needs to be put out. I then went up to the front of the bus and passed reece on my way to the ash tray. He was talking to a few people. I watched the bus driver put his cigarette out. The ash tray was in a weird spot. Behind the steering wheel on the dash. I asked the bus driver "can I use your ash tray?". He gestured for me to do so. As I reached over to put it out the bus hit a bump. I fell and dropped my stuff. Reece helped me gather up my stuff on the floor. After picking up my stuff he handed me my things and asked me "why are you upset?". I was surprised he noticed and responded "I'll get over it one day so don't worry". And I thought before running off the bus somewhat embarrassed "I don't want to touch him in any way" then I noticed I had a rolled up paper in my hand....I patted him on the head with it, got off the bus, watched it drive away and woke up.

Deleted

Well when ever you decide to practice dream plane exploration let me know. Im assuming you havn't even tried if you have where is your personal experience. No body is asking you to believe what me or anybody else is saying, im asking you to seek it out through lucid dreaming and report back with your findings, you havn't even tried and already making assumptions about the non extistence of planes. Back up what you say with your own experience not with what someone else says.


Side note:Dream Yoga: Lucid Dreaming in Tibetan Buddhism




Excerpt: "The ultimate goal in Tibetan dream yoga is to "apprehend the dream" (attain conscious awareness) then dissolve the dream state. When you are deprived of physical stimulus (from the sleeping body) and conceptual stimulus (from the dreaming mind), you can observe the purest form of conscious awareness.That sounds like an excellent goal for any lucid dreamer. "

I am with my youngest daughter, I remember something about being split up and away from others. I am pretending to be a little girl, i have changed my name. The women come and measure my nose and my face etc, she is says "its amazing, you have progressed much quicker than a child of your age". I am in a school like place but it isn't a school. I am colouring a picture, a woman has told me to. There are lots of squares on the paper, some are joined up and some aren't. The woman has told me to finish it, i have to draw the outsides of the squares black, some are already done, i have to fill in the ones that aren't done, i am scribbling on the picture and i haven't finished it, i am feeling angry but don't know why. The little girl has died thats why i am pretending to be her. I am pretending to be this young girl of 5 years old but i still look 34. I remember something about a group of men but not sure what though. I remember there was something about a certain man and lady being my parents. A man has made me be the girl and everyone is fooled by me, it is strange because i feel like her age aswell as my own real age.

I am working in a warehouse. I stock the coke shelves. The shelves are equipt with rolling cylinders on an angle. The boxes that I put into the shelves roll to the other side for customers to take. There must be a store on the other side of the shelves. The stock seems to constantly deplete, so I am busy filling it up as fast as I can. As I am stocking I wonder if we get free coke, and If i will get muscles from lifting boxes.

Finally it's the end of the day, and all the other workers are done and it's closing time. I finish my work a bit late, at 21:15, then leave. I am in an unfamiliar place, just walking the streets trying to figure out where home is. Well, it's not completely unfamiliar. There is a sense that I used to know this area but it must have been a long time ago. I walk for quite awhile in what I hope is the right direction. I run into a co worker and he asks me why I am "Down here" (in this area of town). I guess that means I went the wrong way. He asks if i would like to go for coffee. I agree and feel somewhat chuffed as we wander into a shop, getting in line. His girlfriend is there, they hold hands. I feel awkward, like a third wheel. She's yammering on about something, nervous. I guess I've made her uncomfortable.

I'm in a big renaissance mansion in some countryside. I am hosting a party with my boyfriend? husband? ... donno what he is but his name is Robert. He seems pissed at me about something, he's flitting around mingling with guests, trying to avoid me. There is a haunted room in the house.

My friend Marianne has also come, and brought a man with her, whom I don't know. Everyone's kind of drunk. I am going from person to person trying to make sure everyone is taken care of and having fun, trying to explain to people about the haunted room and why they should avoid it.

There is some sort of kerfuffle and Marianne is upset with me, which I find really hard to take. I am trying to appease her, try to explain myself and the misunderstanding to her. There is an implication of something that I've done is inappropriate.

There is a weird fashion show going on.

June 29, 2:28 PM

So I have tried to LD yesterday, with no luck. I have been going over what I did wrong, and I think I know what it is. First, I fapped twice that day (lmao). I also did not sleep in my regular schedule, instead of sleeping by 4 AM I slept at 1 AM, possibly making me not as tired. I was also confused whether to doe a MILD or a WILD, and I kind of went with both. I am still experimenting with both, and if I do not have a lucid dream in a month, I will confirm that I am not a person of dreams.

I had a mild dream, but not lucid. I was in a poll, kinda like in TV shows. I had a number 4 on my screen thing, and I was very sad. That is all I remember

Maybe I need to do more reality checks, or dream more relaxed/without fapping.

It is only day 1, but I am more excited than ever to make this work. I will keep trying and learn from my failures.

Peace

sweet series of lucids last night, but memory is getting hazy now. one bit i was talking to this woman and her girl about obe's astrals etc. when the woman said she didnt believe in obe's a had to ask her where she thought her body was now, or what body did she think she was using now. she still said she didnt believe so i just explained that she was basically saying she didnt believe in dreams and left it there. i spoke to her girl insted who seemed to agree that when she dreams she is away from her real body somehow, and i said that i guess when we are flying around in our dream body, that is essentailly what astral travel is.

had a couple more recurring bits. one was a party for me when i dont expect that many people to turn up, then eventually it gets quite full. one woman there was impressed with something i was doing and offered to give me a cheque for 100k to carry on my work. not sure if it was the garden work or just the dreaming stuff she was impressed by, but eventually the offer was withdrawn for some reason. this pissed me off but the party was still good.

it was in this block of flats and a group of tourists turned up. they were from jamaica and eventually turned into the west indies cricket team. by this stage i was flying around looking at things that i had previously planted around the town. there was this awesome 'guava' tree with massive purple fruit on it that was just so beautiful. shame it wouldnt grow here in reality..

the next bit was another recurring place, but i think it doesnt really have a deep meaning to it, just a place that has formed in my mind that i like and revisit. after the place had changed back to a place more resembling reality i asked a guy if he knew the place i was talking about. it was like a bar with a big blue menu screen behind the bar and the music playing was heartbeats by the knife. the bar was kind of part garden centre as well, and we were getting things for the garden and even large daisy like flowers seemed somehow miraculous to me however i still didnt really get lucid at this point as i was earlier. reminded me that i had one earlier in the week where jools holland was presenting a tv show in front of 12 foot daffodils