All DJ Entries

I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.


I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.


I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldn’t sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldn’t sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.



Round 1 of Dreams
Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasn’t good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldn’t get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really “put on his own oxygen mask first”.
Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we can’t give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a “mindless cardio bunny”.
I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. I’m sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.



Round 2 of Dreams.

It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.





Round 3 of dreams. .

I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.









Round 4 of dreams.

These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!



Round 5 of dreams. .

I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.





Other Notes
Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.


Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.

I can’t remember how the dream began, which means that I can’t be sure whether I had realized I was dreaming and decided to fly around for a while or whether I had somehow realized that I could fly and stabilize my surroundings but not the full implications of it. But either way, that’s what I ended up doing.

It seems to be early evening, and I’m on a street where all the buildings are lit up with small, multicolored lights. The street is steep and winding—a little reminiscent of Nerudova Street in its topography and architecture—and it has a vibrant and exciting atmosphere, as if it’s a Saturday night and this is the place to go on a Saturday night.


(Click to enlarge (because I can't figure out how to make it bigger here))

I fly all the way up the street and then turn around and fly back down again. But it doesn’t feel quite as real as I know it could be. I focus harder, and I imagine hearing music as I fly along, and that seems to help—this time, it feels as if I’m actually there. I fly back again, and this time I try it while spinning around—something I’ve never done before. It turns out to be a lot of fun, seeing the ground change places with the sky.

Sometime later—in another dream, probably—I'm on a bus on some kind of a trip. I’m with a large group—many young children, some teenagers and a couple adults. There are also some children and teens there who are exchange students from another country. I have the impression this is a trip for the kids, and the teens and I—not sure of my age in the dream—are there to help out with it.

At some point, we make a stop at a large grocery store—the sort that’s often still open in the middle of the night, which it seems to be now. A group of us, including me, goes in. But a woman—maybe the person in charge—asks me if I could take the dog outside for a bit so she can have a chance to burn off some energy before we’re back on the bus. She has the dog there—a big, black dog, female, I think. I agree to it.

Once in front of the store, the dog goes sprinting off in a big loop, eventually coming back around to me. She immediately runs off again, and this time she returns carrying a stick in her mouth. Looks like we’re going to be playing fetch. But just then, I hear barking coming off from to my left. Two smaller dogs are there—neither one on a leash, I note—and the one that looks like a half-size pit bull is barking up a storm. I am instantly on alert: I have seen scenarios like this one end with furniture being toppled. But the black dog is not acting threatened or aggressive, and so it seems unlikely that a fight’s going to break out. I have a vague impression of the dogs’ owner nearby—but just then, my alarm wakes me.

8.2.18

Attached Thumbnails

 

Here are the dreams from last night. The non lucid parts are written in black. I highlighted the lucid parts in lime green this time. There were also some parts that were really pre lucid but not exactly lucid, so I only highlighted the ones I was certain were lucid.


Round 1 and 2 of dreams
Here are dreams. This is the second time I have woken up. Unfortunately, the first time I woke up, I did not write down the dream fragments I remembered. I thought to myself that they were so few, that I would definitely rmemeber them next time I woke uo. This was not the case, and now I am kind of sad that they are gone.

I had difficulty falling asleep the first time of the night, but the second time I went back to sleep (after needing the bathroom) I fell asleep easier.

From this second round of dreams, the first thing I remember is having to go somewhere with my Dad. I didn't want to go. It had to do with where I went to college.

Then, there was a part at AB's house where it was around 6 A M. I wanted to ask my cousin something but AC said it was too early for her. she wasn't really up yet.

There was something about my sister arranging a daily spanking routine with my Dad. I was horrified by this. I am against the spanking of children. The concept of spanking came up in my life recently and so I see that this has some carryover to day time.

This dream was very vivid and eventful, but I remembered only a little. The next part was that I was sitting near some water and there were two girls to my right. It was like the shore of an ocean or big body of salt water. there was some surf washing up. One girl to my right had no shirt on the second time I looked at her. I didn't get too engaged in that aspect of the dream. But I forgot what we were all doing by the water. Maybe eating ice cream? I was going to go out to the water at first but then I saw those two sitting there and decided to sit with them.

There was a part where I had this foldable griddle and was cooking eggs or other food for people. there was a lot of food in this dream. I was cooking a big rectangular pizza and I considered slicing open the crust and turning the whole thing into a breakfast pizza with bacon, maple syrup and eggs, and i guess cheese. I thought everyone would really enjoy this.

There was a family there that was like my previous neighbors. There was a girl from there who I was seeming to get to know better. We were sitting together by ourselves. I did not get along well with these neighbors. I remember seeing a guy who looked like her brother but wasn't quite her brother, so I figured he was her cousin or something. Then another guy came over and seemed to draw her back over to their family table. I felt kind of bad about this because I liked her. In waking life, I did not get along well with her.

Then there was a thing about this plant or ornament thing that could be designed to stay in a certain shape. So I put one of the limbs into a square and I did this to impress people or win the girl back. There was a whole concept of how the plant or ornament could be programmed to go in a certain shape, without changing it manually. I was then looking through the shelves beneath it for a manual of some sort. Instead, I found a questionnaire packet about some different topics, one of which was kind of surprising.(Note to self #1*)

I felt like I was supposed to fill it out, but didn't want to. There might have been something to do with math homework. Then, A B walked by and sung that I was a beautiful helper. I felt good about that.

So then I was walking back through and there were all these kids. Someone said something about how we all have to get these kids on the bus before 10 A M so we don't get billed for having kids at this location. The floors were all slippery and it was a big mess. Then I walked further one way and a latin american fellow was eating raw chicken. i thought, man, he must be hungry, but I didn't think that was good for you. Oh, well, maybe he can digest it. Then, a woman's voice was asking if the kids have trouble being on benefits or people pick on them because of being on benefits. Then, I walked by this huge pile of cooked sweet potatoes. but they were moldy. I got excited because I love roasted yams. But I opened one and it had lots of green and white mold.

So, that was all of these dreams. Unfortunately, I forgot a lot of parts that were interesting. What happened was, once I woke up from that second round of dreams and sleep, I stayed perfectly still and attempted to think of what I dreamed about. But, for some reason, it took a minute or two for anything to come to mind. That seems weird because it was such a vivid dream. I guess I was just groggier or in a deeper phase of sleep and hopefully, the next rounds of sleep and dreams gives me more dream recall.










Round 3 of dreams


I didn't have too much trouble falling asleep. These dreams turned out to be a dream chain kind of thing with two fairly long lucid dreams back to back after the first dream. I forgot a lot of the dreams unfortunately, even though I stayed perfectly still and immediately thought of what i had dreamed upon awakening physically in my bed. Well, here is what I remember.

There was a scene where I was on the phone with my friend Lesa. I forgot what we were talking about. One part was that I have healed a lot from circumcision trauma because I am not as angry, even though I still oppose it. I just oppose it more calmly, which is healthier for me at the time. I was pouring soap from a body soap bottle into something else. It was like a blue tube of gel, unlike the real body soap, which isn't as solid. My Mom had taken the toilet down stairs for cleaning it, which made perfect sense to me at the time. There was some dream context that I could have cleaned the walls behind the toilet and the floor while she was down there but I didn't really want to. I didn't know I was dreaming yet. In the bath tub to the left of the toilet place, there were all of these blue fish tank pebble types of things. I figured they were some kind of cleaning salts and would dissolve.

I forgot the rest of this dream, but there was more to it. What happened was, I woke up and thought about it. I remember remembering a good deal of it, but the next thing I knew, I was asleep again, and in another dream.

In this dream, I had woken up in a car. I was in a parking lot and it was daylight. I didn't know I was dreaming right away, but I started to have the notion that it could be a dream. A girl pulled up in a car next to me. It was Victoria from high school and I got out of my car, to not be anti social. At the time, i was trying to dream journal in my car, which often happens as this is kind of a false awakening I get from thinking I have woken up to dream journal when i was intending to last time I was awake. I was worried about forgetting my dreams. Then, I was on the passenger side of my car, trying to write my dream journal in blue gel on the windshield. I realized this wouldn't work the best, and tried to get my phone to work as a dream journal. Then, another guy was there talking to Victoria, and I had the sense they both wanted me to go away. I looked in some compartment on the side of my car. As I was standing with Victoria and the guy, I was still stressing about writing my dream journal. then I realized i was in another dream. I was like seventy five percent sure of it, but didn't do any dream state checks yet.

Next, in this dream, I was in some kind of a school hallway or building. I remember it being bright with lots of white tiles and white walls and stuff like that. There was some kind of class going on or something. There were some women around. I decided to check if it was indeed a dream. I tried a finger palm test a few times, hoping to be discreet. It didn't go through, but the hunch that I was dreaming still didn't go away. I was thinking, I know this is a dream, I just need to prove it to myself. I remember looking out some window perhaps into a field. I also remember there was some rectangle in the wall that I pulled myself up to look into and it was this crawl space thing, with upside down cieling tiles as the floor. This seemed unusual to me. I don't know if this counts as a totally lucid dream or if I was just pre lucid the whole time. More happened in this dream, but I don't remember it now, and you will see why in the next dream. I am not sure if I had more lucidity later in this part of the dream chain or not. But I did wake up and try to remember as much as possible of this part of the dream chain before the next began. As far as dream chains go, this one had 3 long segments, instead of my usual 6 to 12 short segments when I have dream chains.

Another dream began after a while of thinking through the previous two. This time, I knew it was a dream sooner, almost immediately. I forgot the first parts of this dream. I remember some kind of underground rock concert, a scene I feel I have dreamed of before. I felt somewhat excluded perhaps. Then I was in this parking garage walking perhaps to my car. There was a thought in my mind about how a certain belief system (Note to self #2*) seems dark but is more about integration than actually becoming evil. There were cars parked to my right, and I walked or flew alongside them. I sensed someone coming and I hid behind them. I had the feeling I was in a part of the dream I wasn't allowed. As I hid behind one car, I saw a car pull out of one of the spaces ahead and to my left, from between other cars. the unusual thing was, it was a limosine, but it pulled out of a car space just the size of a regular sedan, which had nothing past it but a wall. Well, I already knew it was a dream.

Then, I was flying around this lobby a bit. I had a sense I should really lay low around here. I saw someone working in a glass booth and flew through the glass both, but I think I was also invisible. I tried going down through the floor to see the underground concert thing again, but the dream told me I couldn't go through the floor this time. So, I let go of needing to do that.

Next thing I knew, I was in some class. Then, a girl I know, either Lauren or Julia, was walking down the steps ahead of me. She dropped a bunch of mini reeses cups on the steps and I made sure to step over them. She told me it didn't matter if I stepped on them, they had already hit the floor, so she couldn't eat them. I said, well, that may be so, but I don't want them on my shoe. I figured she would go buy some new ones in wrappers, but she had taken them from some bulk pack. I don't know how they kept in her pocket. I might have temporarily forgot it was a dream around this part, or faded in and out of awareness of that. The dream was really long, much longer than my memory of it shows. I was thinking to myself that I didn't know that girl had an eating problem.

Then, a guy I never met was shaking my hand and giving me some kind of compliment or advice. In the context of the dream, I thought of him as a guy from my fraternity, but now that I look back, I didn't actually know him. he was somewhat big of a guy with grey hair.

Then there was a part with two young girls in a cage, holding burgers on strings. A guy about 20 years old walked by and oogled at the burgers, then kept walking. As he did this, I felt tremendous fear, like he was a dinosaur and going to eat the girls.



Then there was a part with two teenage boys bringing a slightly younger teenage girl somewhere. They were outdoors and there was a fence nearby. It was still daytime. I felt fear that they were going to molest the girl. At this point, I felt like I was following along invisibly, and I knew I was dreaming again, if I had lose awareness at one point. Now, I had a sense that I was more passively being shown this scene, like a T V show, as opposed to actively engaged in it. As in, I didn't really have a dream body. I was just a floating awareness, unable even to control my own floating. but I was aware of my actual condition being a dream. So, I just followed the kids, thinking that I might at some point materialize with a dream body and rescue the girl if need be.

I remember somewhere along the course of these dreams, thinking to myself, well, this is just pointless. This is such a long dream, I will never remember all of it. I don't even see the point of this dream, anyway. I should just wake myself up. but then I remembered a rule I made with myself, that I was sort of honor bound to stay in the dream as long as I could. Even if I didn't want to stay, I had to do my best to stay in the dream as long as I could. So, I decided I wouldn't wake myself up.

Next thing I knew, I was seeing a young teenage boy saying something. Then, credits rolled. The scene zoomed out and showed I had been watching this all on a T V. Suddenly, I knew I was in the living room of a cabin that it felt like I had been in earlier in the dream. I wish I remembered this all more clearly. A guy walked by with a dog and out a door to my right. The door had mainly glass, but then some wooden slat kind of things. I can't think of the name for this kind of door but it is a pretty normal door. With brown wood. There was a couch to the right of that door. As the guy left, I tried to tell him I thought my life purpose was to materialize and save that girl, but now I found out it was just a T V show. The guy didn't seem to care. I felt all alone for a moment. I wondered if I was supposed to commit suicide within this dream because I felt so empty and useless all of a sudden. I thought if there would be a dream gun somewhere. I knew that suicide within a dream would not kill me because I have read about how dying in dreams doesn't actually kill the person. So it was more symbolic or something. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

Then, I felt empowered by the thought that I could just turn off the T V. All along, I could have just realized it was a T V show, grabbed the remote, and turned the power off. then, i could have done something else. So, the remote was right to the left of the T V and I picked it up. I forgot what hand. The power button was very clearly on the top right of the remote, and I pressed it. The T V went off for a split second, but popped back on. I was not surprised. That happens in dreams a lot, I turn off electronics or radios and they pop back on and I have to keep unplugging them from here or there. so I was expecting that. I pressed power off again and it went off again.

Just then, someone came in with two dogs. They looked dark at first, and I felt scared. But then I saw that she was a beautiful dark skinned woman in a dark coat and hat with dark hair. She was 4 and a half to 5 feet tall if I could guess. One of her dogs had these shiny black spots of fur on an otherwise not shiny brown coat of fur. That was the dog to my right. The other dog was to my left. She started to comment on how we needed to have sex immediately. I was like, woah, cool. I was totally aware it was a dream. She began to undress very slowly. I wanted to rush her to undress, but I tried to just breathe. I could see her body and she was just getting her pants off. She was saying something about how she should have just stayed with a guy like me (Note to self #3*) all along and not gone for those other guys. Now, she was back, and she wasn't going to leave again, she said. I started to be aware for the first time in this dream that I was losing stability. This is part of why I wanted her to hurry up. I was getting anxious or too excited, but I was able to keep some level of cool, enough to extend the dream the amount I did. I started to tell her that I was losing stability and I needed her help to stay in the dream, and my level of panic about waking up kind of rose. At first, I felt like I might be able to stay in the dream and enjoy the next scene which might have ensued, but then, i felt myself waking up physically in my bed. (Note to self #4*)

Then I was awake physically in my bed. Because I woke up straight from that scene, I was able to begin remembering the dreams right away. I couldn't remember as much as I would have wanted to. I wrote the dream out in full though and now I can go back to bed.






Round 4 of dreams. .

I fell back asleep without much trouble, on my left side. I had a dream and woke up, unable to remember even a little of it. I was still very groggy, and felt myself soon drifting to sleep again, so I just let it happen.

I was in another dream that I don't remember a lot of the beginning of. My sister was there. Two other girls were there. I think I remember having a bad feeling but I am not quite sure. There may have been something with my college fraternity.

Then I was having a conflict with a guy, I think. Maybe a conflict with my Dad. I think he wanted help carrying something to the back yard or something like that. Maybe he had some kind of a vacuum.

Oh, snap, now I remember what happened. Someone else was up in my room with me and we had a drug like D M T. It was either actual D M T or I was just pretending it was. I haven't smoked weed or drank in over 4 years in waking life, by the grace of the goodness gracious. But i took this test tube or lab beaker kind of thing and put the drug in there and somehow vaporized it from that. I remember inhaling every last bit of vapor and feeling like, oh, crap, why did I do that? Even if I am only pretending, I really shouldn't be dabbling with drugs. I kind of started to feel funny. I think I looked in the mirror but I don't remember what I saw. Now that I remember that, it makes sense why I was so relieved when I found out next that it was just a dream.

When I was downstairs, I got the idea to try putting my finger through my palm. It was a vivid dream already and it felt like waking life. But, I gave it a try and to my surprise, it poked through a little. I felt more like I was in waking life, and nothing would happen. So it was interesting for it to really go through to the other side. I wanted to show someone but then I didn't. I still didn't quite understand what it meant that it was a dream. I felt like I was still in waking life, but that something was just a little different. I went to look out the front door, which looked like it does in waking life. Then, I realized it was a dream, so that meant I could do more fun stuff or something. I saw a sugar cookie shaped like an easter bunny chocolate bar thing and grabbed that and started to eat it. it was delicious. My Mom was there and she was being really nurturing. Then, I wanted more food, but it felt like the other food was still stuck in my mouth, and I couldn't fully swallow it. Anyway, I went in the fridge, and there was a pile of food boxes. On top was a really well made birthday cake that said Mommy on it. this makes sense because my sister was just telling me how she decorated a cake for my Mom for her birthday, which was a few days ago. I thought of digging right into the cake, but decided not to, because even though it was a dream, it seemed too important to mess with. So I put the cake to the side. The next box was a circle of turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread, and I dug right into those. I still felt like I should leave some for everyone else, even if I was in a dream. As I ate, I felt like I couldn't eat fast enough. The food in the dream tasted so delicious. Then, there was a jar of Mustard to my right. I gobbed some of that on the sandwiches and ate that, and it was delicious, too. My Mom came by and asked me if I was going to put some Kevin on my food. I knew that Kevin was the word for Mayo but I don't know how those words got criss crossed. There was a small jar of Mayo near the mustard that I didn't have any of yet. Then, my Mom was saying more nice things to me as I ate. That was a really nice wish fulfilling dream. I told my Mom that I want to eat something I really want to eat! She said, I know, me too. (Note to self #5*) Then, I noticed my Mom's art was everywhere. I thought that I would really like to compliment her on her wonderful art. I could see shadows cast by her easels. I wanted to have the chance to tell her how great her art was, before the dream ended, but my mouth was so full. (Note to self #6*) I thought I would be able to enjoy some more food, and then I would get the chance to compliment my Mom on her art, which would probably be very fulfilling in a dream. Then, I woke up physically in my bed, with my mouth still moving, still tasting the sandwiches from the dream.

It took me a moment to even think of the dreams. I don't know why my dream recall isn't the best tonight. I feel I dreamed a lot, but remembered so little. I hope I can sleep and dream once more, because I feel a bit like I had less dreams than usual. But it might be the case that I have had all the sleep my body will take, and it is morning. Usually I can't sleep past sun rise. But I will try to sleep again and see what happens.

I am definitely happy about this L D because I like dream food. From the moment I thought of food, I was thinking of the food in our cabinets in waking life. Also, I eat very strict in waking life, never any cookies or even bread, for years straight now, and so eating things like this in a dream is a real treat. I eat this way in waking life more due to food allergies than anything else, and because I have a history with certain types of food triggering binges. Which, in the dream, I did feel like I was on a food binge, but because I knew it was a dream, I just enjoyed it. In waking life, being on a food binge like that would be pretty scary. So, I am grateful I am not on a food binge in waking life.

Well, I didn't get back to sleep. I tried, but could tell the sun had risen without even looking, and I got up. So, now its time for the day.

I am traveling in a foreign country, driving a car down a dirt road—although there’s a bit of a traffic jam at the moment, and nobody is actually moving except the pedestrians, who walk between the cars and on the side of the road. Two women wearing some kind of sari-like traditional dress walk past. I think about giving them a lift—something I wouldn’t ordinarily consider doing, but they seem particularly trustworthy somehow.

At some point, I suddenly find that the car is full of people, and I’m in the backseat. The two people in the front seats are wearing police uniforms, and two or three other people are standing between the rows of seats. I ask a man in a white business-type shirt standing to my left if this is a police chase, and he confirms that it is. I have heard about this—of officers requisitioning vehicles so they can go after somebody who would otherwise escape them. I suppose that’s OK—not that I get any choice in the matter.

The next thing I remember is walking through a public building, talking with the same man. He’s asking me questions. One is, essentially, whether I can take any time off work. I reply that I can’t. I’m working remotely even now, on this trip. He is concerned that I’m not recovering from something, which he seems to feel is my fault, and wants me to undergo a scan of some kind—he’s holding the equipment now, beside a machine there. This is a little exasperating, as I’m already pretty sure this has to do with some kind of control issue, which isn't exactly news. But what’s more troubling is the fact that he’s mentioning things that happened since the car chase, and I don’t remember anything between now and then. I try to determine how big of a memory gap I’m dealing with. Very shortly afterwards, I conclude that this is not something it’s possible to do without knowing what happened during that time. And at that point, I wake up.

It’s an hour or so after that—after recording the dream and after listening to people being typically noisy atypically early downstairs—that my cell phone rings. Or vibrates, rather, since that’s the setting I keep it on. I’m annoyed since I was almost asleep, and this is such a good opportunity for having a lucid dream. If I ignore it and don’t move, it’ll stop soon enough. But it doesn’t stop after the normal number of rings, and so I finally give up on the dream and get up to shut it off. And that’s when I realize—this is a dream.

This is the part where I figure out what to do, now that I have this opportunity. And right now, what I want to do is go back to the setting of the last dream and figure out what was going on there. I head over to the window and step onto the windowsill, disregarding the glass pane, which obligingly acts as though it didn’t exist.

It is dark out, but the setting I see before me has nothing else in common with what I’d ordinarily see out my window. For one thing, it’s a long way down—the ledge where I’m perched isn’t as high as an airplane would fly, perhaps, but it can’t be that much closer to the earth. The landscape spread out before me is also unfamiliar, and remarkably strange. The ground is uniformly flat, with nothing but houses and trees as far as the eye can see. But every so often, there are tall, thin spires, each set of them closely grouped, apparently made of rock— like giant needles stuck into the earth. Their tips are about level with where I am—in other words, incredibly high—and they’re so disproportionate to the rest of the landscape that they look unnatural.

Looks like I’ll be flying, then. But first—I will it to become daytime and wait for a little while. Nothing happens. Well, that was probably a little unrealistic, but it was worth a try. Anyway, I can see just fine, even with no discernible source of light: everything below me and in the distance is clear and crisply outlined. But seen with night-vision, it’s all dark blue, which will make it less interesting to fly over. (Later on, after waking up, I’ll recall that I intentionally enabled myself to see in the dark in a lucid dream a couple months ago—could it be that it was a lasting modification? That would be interesting.)

I ready myself and launch outwards, extending a set of muscles I only have in dreams, when I choose to: wings. It’s a smooth glide for the most part. There isn’t much in the way of wind up here—as empty and still and silent as it is on the ground far below. Trees, houses, more trees, more houses, and the nearest set of spires, coming ever closer. It’s an odd feeling, being up here in this lonely place, poised and sharply aware and secure somehow.

The next part is difficult to remember—I’m not exactly sure how I managed to find my way back to the building from the first dream, but it seemed to involve flying in a pattern around the spires—a little like dialing the combination of a lock, a little like grabbing the fabric of dream-space and twisting it in exactly the right way. But one way or another, I'm there. The building was full of people before, but now it is dark and empty. And a woman with brown skin and dark hair is standing beside me there—she will take me to the man I want to speak to.

And that’s the point where it would be best to end this account, I think….

(29.1.18)

Week days ago. I'm drifting in and out of sleep, as cats are jumping up and down from my bed. It's around 5am or later, my normal waking time.

I'm starting to feel dreamy, s I push my head into the pillow (just by thinking it) and immediately I get a major head rush. Swushing in my head, as if water was running near by. At that moment, my cat decides to throw up and that gets me out of it. : (

Random DILD next day or day after.
I'm sitting in a fast city train. Like an above ground metro. On the left side, by the window. There is a large body of water on the left, when I notice some passengers standing up, looking outside on the left side, raising their hands with their phones. I stand up and crane my neck to see.

A large, rectangular shaped space craft is crashing down. It's brownish, color of rusted metal. It's made out of all kinds of twisted metal. Almost like a Borg ship from the outside. I can't believe what I'm seeing. It's so real and I sense some danger coming on. We can't stop the crash. I'm looking for my phone to take pictures, but I don't have it on me. Craft hits the water with a huge splash.

Now we go by a huge crane that's topped over in the water. It's like a super tall dockyard crane. It's starting to lift itself up. When it does, the cabin starts to resemble metallic mouth and it starts to open and roar. Almost slow motion, looks like those three-legged walking Martian machines from the modern War of the Worlds.

At this moment I think wait a minute, this can't be real. I look at my hands and count my fingers. I realize I'm dreaming. Get out of the window on the right side of the train and start flying. It's not easy but I'm getting higher and higher with help of some buildings which I semi-climb, fly up to.

The train and the crash was so incredibly realistic. Thank you, subC!!!

Even though I'm not recording my dreams on the daily, I feel like I'm getting better at being more aware while dreaming.

E. I was in this park, there was this black picnic table and this guy named.. Justin? He seemed like he needed help. So I went over to him and asked him if he was alright. He said he was completely fine, nothing wrong with him. There was a black journal notebook on the table. I picked it up and screened through it, looking for a note. But all that was there were complex math problems. I just got the feeling that soon he would not be okay, so I told him that I would be around, and he can call me any time. I then flew upwards, swimming towards the sky.

In a fragment, I was on a tall ledge inside some kind of mall or building. I was there with Brittany, my mom, and Brittany's mom. All of a sudden, both of our moms jumped off the ledge. For a second I felt like time stopped, my mom was dead, my life was over. And then I realized, hey, this is stupid. This is a dream. So I walk away to go do something fun but lose it.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

Few days ago. So happy to remember an awesome dream again. 3 in one night, in fact.

1. My subC is such a cool BADASS

I'm in a car. There is some presence. It flies out and is flying at me towards the back window. I remember my thoughts from daytime, that you have to stand up for yourself. Don't let anybody bully you or scare you, or enslave you in any way.

(I had to watch Insidious and there was a scene where a demon had some souls enslaved, and another soul fought and beat his ass. And I remember thinking that that's how you have to approach situations in dreams.)

So as it was flying at me, about to scream at me to scare me, I punched it square in the chest, expecting to be hit back far harder. But no. No retaliation. So I hit it again and kept punching until I was satisfied that the danger is over.

2. Cigar and a DILD
Very low lucidity. Suddenly I just have more awareness and I'm "thinking". There is a cigar in front of me on the table. Not even a whole one. I think "why not". I don't smoke and never had, but I figured what a better place to try, haha. So I light it up and take a puff. We keep passing it between me and my friend, noticing how the smoke tastes and such. I'm not hating it, but I don't like it either.

When we are done, I decide to go for a flight. I take off and hover over the area, flying like a hummingbird. Horizontal when flying, vertical when hovering. I am SO HAPPY to be flying again. The feeling is unmistakable and out of this world elating. I feel good from this for next 2 days.

3. VR reality
Somebody has VR goggles. I ask if I can try them, then I keep borrowing them when not in use. I put it on and I'm on a dusty walking path somewhere high in Andes. Peru comes to mind. I don't think it's in the past, but I know it had been used by Incas.

When I look through the goggles, I can see the scenery, but also the edges of the goggles. Like when you put on a snorkeling mask. But after few seconds, I kinda lean forward, the goggles disappear and I'm fully immersed in the scenery. I walk up to the edge of the precipice by the wooden handrail and expect to be able to see it only from the distance, since I know I'm not really there. But the scenery comes closer to me and any divide between me and the scene disappears. Just like when I'm WILDing and at first I'm just looking inside the dream from the outside (level of my eyes), then I get transported inside, sucked in, and I'm in the middle of it, in 3D environment. It was awesome to realize all this.

We come up on some orphanage, right there on the path. I tell them to hang on, and I return to my "base" and I rummage through the food supplies, gathering up everything I can find to take it back to the kids. It takes a long time, and other things happen. Long and detailed.

I woke up very happy from all these dreams. This is what I call interesting dreams. THANK YOU, SUBC <3

Some Fragments
- Something about telling somebody to give me the last two hot dogs?

- It was my 26th birthday and was taking snapchat pictures with sister and friends. Found A gold dollar coin with my birth year on it in a pile of change from C's dresser.

- Not sure if I was just flying or if I was an actual bird; but I was in the sky searching down below for a gas station.
I saw an old timey one and flew down to it, complaining that it was old and probably didn't work etc..

- I think I was near the gas pump but there was this odd wall made of small rectangular concrete blocks that I had to (for some reason) crack the code to them. There was a large beautiful tree behind me that seemed to glisten in the sun.Some male character was coming towards me.

- In the hospital, had my left leg/knee on top of some ice. Sister says, "they must be getting you ready for surgery". I freak out a little and she yells asking the question. A person comes in (nurse I reckon) and puts a tube into my knee about an inch thick/around and pretty long, filled with cubes of ice. I guess the tube must have been through my knee/leg out on the other side because she began to 'Flush' my leg with ice. It went super fast through the tube and ice kept going through it really fast. It didn't hurt but I yelled out/groaned when it started because it startled me.

The following lucid dreams were not extremely vivid, but were numerous (for me) and groundbreaking nonetheless. Although I forgot to do any stabilization techniques or RCs, I remembered to yell "More Lucidity Now!" and ask several DCs if they were my dream guide! All in all, it was an eventful night.

In the beginning of the night I had a few nonlucids, which I have little memory of. The first I can remember was in a humongous supermarket -- I'm starting to add skewed, elongated, or infinite spaces as one of my dream signs -- I was with a girl and possibly others down a long aisle that reminded me of the pet food/accessories aisle in Walmart irl. I wrote down in my DJ that I asked the girl something about dream characters, but I can't remember anything more specific.

Note: That night I went to sleep on my parent's couch, tired after a long day, tried a glass of apple juice as an oneirogen for the first time, and took .75mg of melatonin.

The first lucid dream I had started in a dark room. I could see two silhouettes in the lighted doorway -- a woman and a man. At first they were completely dim, but soon their silhouettes had horizontal rainbow stripes projected on them. I asked them repeatedly if they were my dream guide, and after that they left. I freed myself from standing still and walked through the doorway. It was an office-like room with a circular table in the middle. The lighting wasn't bright, but wasn't all the way dim -- the best way I can describe it was a blue overcast. On the central table and possibly throughout the office were full-sized Christmas trees (not the ones you put on tables as decorations). There were 20-30 people (workers?) sitting around the central table and at other desks along the walls which had large '50s era computers and control desks from a disaster movie lining them. There was an older lady who either had white hair or was bald. I got the feeling she was mean. I asked her if she was my dream guide and she responded with a scowl (I don't remember her saying anything -- possibly she mouthed something and didn't verbalize it?). I screamed "More Lucidity Now!". I don't remember the dream getting noticebly more vivid, but the old woman looked physically hurt after I said it. I screamed it again, and each time I screamed it, she got angrier and her face started running with blood from her scalp. Despite this, she seemed alright and she wasn't directly confrontational with me (she either walked off or faded out -- I can't remember). I believe this dream came from watching The Santa Clause (1 & 2) with my family.

The next dream, I was in a large, dimly lit brick room (not red brick, this was more like the beige brick of an old Italian house) with an open window. I maneuvered out of it and sat on the ledge, then reached above where I knew there would be a broom (I hadn't planned this or thought it out -- this sort of makes me think that the beginning of this could have been a dream *about* having a lucid dream rather than a lucid dream, but when I awoke I was convinced it was lucid the whole time!). Looking out, I could see many of these blocky buildings expanding out horizontally. In front of me it seemed like these buildings were actually raised high up because there was a sort of drop off point with a ~100ft radius. I grabbed the broom and flew down off the windowsill. It felt amazing! I remember trying to figure out the rules for flying as I was flying, and the actual mechanics changing dynamically -- I could feel my conscious mind working it out -- does the right hand stabilize while the left pulls up? Which hand goes over the other? As I continued to fly I saw below me several stormtroopers infighting and the red lasers of blasters.

Next I had several chained False Awakenings. During each of these, I would wake up and reach out for the chair that was pulled up to the couch irl, and grab the number 2 pencil and 8.5x11 sheet of paper (not there irl). Each time I did this I would write down my previous dreams. The first time, my grandpa stopped by and complained about something (it was still dark out). In the next FA, I wrote down this dream below the spot where (in the last FA) I had written down my previous dreams. But there was nothing written there! This triggered lucidity immediatelyI got up and walked into my parents' bedroom and put my hand over my mom's face (who looked somewhat like the old woman from my Christmas dream). After this, I talked to her about something (perhaps asked if she was my dream guide -- unsure).

In another FA, I got up, walked over to a picture frame that used to be near the kitchen in my childhood, and pressed my face against it. It was a reflective black and I could see other people's faces in it (in white). I tried with some success to summon specific faces, but the final one I was trying trying kept eluding me.

On the whole, these FA-sparked dreams in my house gave me quite a spooky vibe.

After this, there was a semi-lucid fragment where I was walking up a small, cramped staircase, but either my focus was waning and the visuals were dying, or, as part of the dream, there was a large black/white spot covering a portion of my vision like an eclipse.

I wrote in my DJ that I had several other fragments, some of which I felt were lucid, but I can't remember them now. I feel as though I might have returned to the supermarket from the beginning of the night and been lucid then, but I can't remember.

Note: there were points where, during the dreams, I wouldn't necessarily RC or spot a dream sign and then realize I was dreaming -- rather it was like I was lucid the whole time and I simply willed myself into a participatory role. This was an interesting feeling.

Because I'm unsure about the validity of some of these dreams, I'm going to mark the lucid count for this night as 4, which is amazing for me! I'm still excited about this two days later. Happy dreaming!

I was on some kind of open top barge or house boat. It was choc full of junk, well some of it was antique stuff and old toys. Somebody there was trying to stop me from getting something so I flew up and out of the opening onto a building roof above. The roof overlooking the river and boat was choc full of junk as well.
The building morphed a bit and became the roof of a school. I did some more flying around and at this point said to myself this dream is really going on for a long while "Are dream" maybe I should take advantage of this fact and do some stuff.
So I did some mind control on the dcs who were there then everything went black and white and I woke up unable to maintain lucidity.

note: I remember saying to myself maybe I should have a go at getting lucid as it's holiday time now. This kind of pondering intention with no expectation attached has proved to be 100% effective in the past also, lol.

I come to remember the dream as being near the coast at this house. Bam Margera and his crew are there doing stupid things, driving cars out of control, doing drugs, etc. I'm looking at my phone trying to get an uber. My father says that he will pick me up, but then leaves as I'm looking confused at my uber app. The car was there, and now it's gone. Another one might come for me, but it never does.

At some point I'm shifting locations on a geographical level, heading over to a city. There, I come into a building that has two guys in an office on the first level looking at a computer. I go up the stairs to see there are a lot of desks with interns at them. I am an intern at this large accounting firm and it's my first day. Everyone is very nervous. There are two separate managers who come up to our level and yell at us to get to work. This was a nightmare for me. It was very scary because I remember thinking that if I fucked up, they'd fire me on the spot. Our task is to look at a list of foods and then determine how much of whatever is in each food. We're frantically scribbling things on the page like we're taking a test of some sort. I remember writing things like "1x eggs, 2x milk." I didn't know the exact answer but I would write things down anyways. One of the interns starts to pack up her things. She gets to leave at 3pm because she says she is done. She is wearing a prom dress and saying that she's going to a dance. I start to work on my test again when a huge commotion happens outside. I go outside to see the girl in the dress getting aggressively shoved into a cop car by a cop. The two managers are outside looking mean. We're all forced back inside as they yell at us.

I remember thinking that I would take a vacation at this point. My view is shifted high to a geographical level as I'm trying to decide which place to vacation at. There's a water park in the south and a water park in the north. The southern water park has a bigger outside area and the northern water park has some water areas that aren't for leisure and then some crazy water slides next to each other. I can't decide which one I want to go to because I remember I'm not from the area. I ask one of my fellow interns who's my friend IRL named Irene where she wants to go. I told her that it would be more fun if we went together so that we'd know someone there.

I'm at my friend Mason's house. He has a very open yard with some huge trees dangling down branches. I want to fly. At first, I cannot get off the ground. I start to spring up, thinking that I will do a double jump like Mario and the third jump will get me off the ground. It works. I'm levitating about 20 yards in the air, and then I'm flying very high into the sky. It's day time and the sky is a dreamy blue. I remember there were more trees than IRL with branches getting in my way. I'm very high up into the sky now, looking down and thinking that I might fall to the ground, but I don't. I'm simply up there, levitating maybe 100 yards from the ground now. I get caught up in the dream and forget that I'm the dreamer. The branches start to entangle me as I return back to the dream, coaching myself to remember that this is a dream. But it fades.

I'm at a football/baseball game at a new college that I do not recognize. There are 50,000+ in the stands cheering for this game. I remember I'm in the lower section of the stands taking a video on my phone of the game and the crowd chanting.

Morning of September 20, 2017. Wednesday.



This dream is vivid from start to finish even though I deliberately change my identity twice (by way of non-lucid dream control). Instead of my most common form of dream state initiation (water, which symbolizes the real-time dynamics of sleep), it begins with another very common dream state indicator, that is, “still” being in bed. (The difference of course relates to sleeping in the waters of the womb in the first months of life in contrast to sleeping in bed, though the dream state initiation form may be incidental.) My dream self’s memory is mostly limited to not much beyond the age of twenty.

The bed turns out to be in a new version of the Loomis Street house. It is in the living room. There is much more space on the north side of the room than there was in reality and there is also a vague association with our Gellibrand Street apartment of years ago (though I do not reflect upon this while in my dream). The bed is in the northeast corner of the room, aligned to the north wall. I am on the left side (which is atypical as I have mostly been on the right side in recent years when sleeping with Zsuzsanna, though this is probably related to subliminal reinduction). My brother-in-law Bob had been sleeping on the right side. My sister Marilyn is alive and as she was in the late 1970s (with no memory of her having died in 2014). She has not yet decided to go to sleep. I am seemingly aware my mother had recently died (though she died in 2002).

Anita comes in through the front door and asks Marilyn if she had been in the bed sleeping, mentioning “all five people” in the bed (even though I had only been aware of Bob being in the bed). I turn more to my left, very close to the edge of the bed. It seems that Anita had picked up and kept an American quarter that had fallen out of my shirt pocket. More coins fall onto the floor from my left shirt pocket, including at least three American quarters and a few nickels and dimes, but these I retrieve and put in my right pants pocket (as I am apparently wearing blue jeans in bed).

I then get up and start practicing telekinesis by willing objects to fly into my right hand, mostly cups, empty soda cans, and dishes. “Did you see that?” I keep asking Anita and Marilyn. There is no surprise from them.

I go outside and it seems to be late morning (even though it had been nighttime seconds before). I fly about six feet above the ground but mostly hover and loudly screech. The unfamiliar neighbor to the south has a few children playing in his yard. I decide to go over, via the alley, and apologize for my behavior, as it may have frightened them. I explain to the man that I am “Carrie’s brother”. For a short time, I puzzle over the timeline possibly being wrong, as Carrie and I are supposedly around the same age and I perceive it may be the late 1980s. I then show him my telekinetic ability. I will small items to fly into my hand from a distance as well as an empty cardboard box that had been put out for the garbage collectors. The other male seems curious but not afraid. “I can lift a house,” I explain, “or a car”. (I have the usual false memory that a house can be lifted into the air and set back down with telekinesis without destroying the foundation, plumbing, or electrical connections.)

There are many scenes after this where I go into a building and show my telekinetic abilities to several other unfamiliar people, mostly males of about twenty. I continuously will, over and over, mainly cups (though other items as well) to fly into my right hand. I perform such acts at least thirty times as others watch with mild interest. It seems effortless and triggered by softly imagining the feeling of already having it in my hand. I also eventually cause cups to slide across the table away from me (not nearly as common a dream event as willing them to me). The others find it amusing when I do this. For some reason, this seems more important and impressive than drawing objects to me.

I then decide to be Carrie herself. I am beginning what seems like eighth grade in an unknown school. While sitting at a long table with a few others in a row, I will pencils to fly into my hand from the table in front of us. One unfamiliar boy directly to my left looks at me and the pencils flying from the other table into my hand, but does not react - as if he cannot see or understand the world around him. He looks somewhat arrogant but completely clueless. I reason that, unlike the previous witnesses, many young people have no perception or understanding of the world around them, so unusual or unexplainable events are not perceived as such at all.

From here, I notice that the top layer of skin has come off around the base of my thumb and partly across the palm. There are clumps of dead skin here and there that I peel off. The flesh underneath is pure white and very soft and smooth. Curiously, I do not notice that my hand is reversed in orientation, that is, when my palm is up, my left thumb is on the right (instead of my left thumb being outward to the left with my palm up as it should be). It is very vivid, with an augmented sense of touch (though no pain) and I never take more notice to this impossible hand orientation despite the clarity.

In the last scene, I fly around above Sill Street, mostly to the west. (This is a very illogical location and focus for my dreams, as it was of little significance in real life and not seen at all since 1994, and yet has peculiarly become more common over the last few years.) This seems more of the closing credits to a movie. Curiously, instead of music associated with “Carrie” (1976), I hear an altered version of the lyrics and music from “Sybil” (1976 television miniseries). However, these are the same incorrect lyrics I sang in the 1970s, even playing the music on my accordion and electronic organs. I perceive Carrie (Sissy Spacek) as singing them. Instead of “Mirror mirror in my mind”, I always sang “Mirror mirror in my heart” (so much so, the real lyrics now sound “wrong” to me). Instead of “Come as a dream, ribbons of rhymes”, I sang it as “Fashions and swirls, ribbons and curls”.

Interestingly, Anita’s reference to supposedly five people having been in the bed may have deliberately foreshadowed me playing the two other roles before waking. Coins often relate to coalescence and the level of subliminally perceived neural activity in the dream state. Since early childhood, I have always been aware of very distinct differences between dream self modes, including passively non-lucid, non-lucid but willful, non-lucidly in control (being aware of making and controlling “my world” though with no direct recall of what a dream is), passive lucidity, willful lucidity, apex lucidity (total and sustained willful conscious creation and automatic linear control of the dream including deliberately symbolic waking transitions based on fifty years of day to day experience where certain long-term forms of conscious thought automatically integrate into unconscious states), and other distinct levels of unconsciousness, including entirely abstract where my existence seems to be as a letter of the alphabet or geometrical form, sometimes with unusual and unique mental rituals, or the repeating of a phrase to “perfectly” assume a physical position prior to waking.

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Morning of September 16, 2017. Saturday.

Reading time: 3 min 34 sec. Readability score: 75.



My dream atypically begins in liminal space of the type that is usually an end marker, which a parking lot represents. The main characters other than myself are Ray Romano from “Everybody Loves Raymond” though his wife is Jane Wyatt as from the much older television show “Father Knows Best.“ Ray, Jane, their fictional daughter (who seems like a young version of Zsuzsanna, though my dream self does not recognize her as such), and I are in a dark blue pickup truck. I am in the cab, but I later ride in the back with their daughter.

An additional recurring dream state indicator (other than the parking lot) is the pickup truck itself (due to the play on “bed”). The first situation relates to an appointment made by her parents (I assume with no choice in the matter), because of a government agency coming to take their daughter to place her in a group home for specialized foster care. When other men arrive, parking at a distance from the truck, I take out a small cylindrical rod with a button on one end. I push it, and it transforms into a large pistol. I shoot at the car. After my third shot, it explodes dramatically and consumes four or five unoccupied cars near it.

An unknown man on the opposite side of the truck looks on in a puzzled manner. He does not leave the area of his car. He stands behind its open driver’s side door. So as I do not get found with a gun on me, I press a button on the gun’s handle, and it changes back into the small rod.

I ride in the back with their daughter. I tell Ray to drive down a particular road. Curiously, there are automatically operating French doors set up across part of it. (They are not a part of a building.) We go through these doors. I explain to their daughter about her need to grow up in a family environment with her real parents instead of by the government, which often results in cognitive dissonance through half-attained brainwashing. We talk for a long time, though I do not recall every detail. I agree with her that while some parents are not capable of viably raising children, that does not mean the government should have all children under their observation or utilize profiling based on race or cultural background.

I am aware of owning an expansive organization and area of land in which people live as they want as long as there is no crime. We arrive there, and the family makes plans for their living arrangements.

Before the three new people move into their new home, I talk about the confirmation of their state of health. The daughter says I am not a doctor. “Yes, I am,” I confidently reply.

I press a button on my device, and it transforms into an unusual machine. Parts grow out as a result of nanite activity. It resembles an oversized embossing label maker. The girl kneels down, and I look at the top of the device as I hold it directly over her head. It has scanned her entire body for any health issues and reports (by the print that appears on the surface of the top) that there are no concerns. I have Jane kneel as well. The device does not display any potential problems. Ray seems to have a cholesterol issue, but I will address that later.

An unfamiliar young black man is present. He seems to know me well. I ask him how his friends and family are. They are well. I go into a large room that has an ambiguous outdoors area on one side (a commonly recurring dream distortion that is impossible to resolve consciously). There are others in the room. One male is hunting for food. He shoots at a strange figure that runs behind trees and to the left. “Was that the Tasmanian Devil?” I ask cheerfully (though it looked more like a bizarre cartoon rabbit with human legs and wearing track shorts).

I feel a change in my level of consciousness, so I go down a flight of steps to vivify my dream. (This is even though I am not lucid. However, long-term knowledge of reactive representation often carries over into the dream state).

I am in a featureless field (a dream setting that represents an "empty” area of waking space). I decide to fly but not that far above the ground. I fly stomach down and use my arms to gain speed by pushing down against the ground to propel myself forward. I enjoy this more and more. I feel it will make me stronger in the arms while not tiring the rest of my body. I am aware of Leonard S (my pinhead friend from King Street). He is standing near a storefront that comes into view to my left. I am also aware of an older unknown male whom I feel may benefit from flying in the way I am as I consider he may need to strengthen his heart muscles in a less stressful way. (He seems about seventy years old.) I continue to fly this way. When I wake, my right hand is pushing down on the mattress though I am only partly on my stomach by way of my left side.

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