All DJ Entries

I am in a nice house walking upstairs as I see my brother eating while watching television on the floor. He seems to be having a good time as I continue waling up the stairs. In till I had this feeling that someone was planning on breaking in to the house. I could see pass the curtains of the window near the front door of a silhouette of a man walking near the door with a rifle in his hands. I give my brother the danger eye stare and he immediately lock all the doors. I could see people running outside in a panic. My mother and brother both hid somewhere in the house which this place was rather large.

Once I felt everything was secured and lock, I went upstairs only to see my father trying to open the back door. I open the door and tell him to come back another time. I informed him that we are currently having another person break in. He understands and quickly leaves as I try to find my hiding spot. This house is odd, so many stairs leading to different directions and higher levels in the house. After roaming for about 30 seconds I find a spot that seems good enough to hide in. I grabbed all the blankets I could find to cover myself in it to disguise any trace of a human being. I then remained as quiet as I humanely could and made sure my breathing could not be heard.

After 13 minutes go by, I began wondering if he had left the house or if my brother and mom were ok. I eventually fell asleep in the dream and woke up in the same spot. I began taking the blankets off me to my horror the man with the rifle and now a hand gun opens the door. He looks at me and says now I will finally get what I deserve. I rub my eyes and tell him and groggly voice to just hold on. And to think about what he is doing as I try to get to my feet. He tosses the gun at me to my confusion and tells me to stay calm and still. I look at him as I drop the gun to the floor. I got a good chance to see his appearance, he had light redish skin, long yellow hair and was wearing a red suit with a fedora on his head. He also appeared to have elf like ears with blood shot eyes.

He proceeded to grab a match and light something around in the hopes that I would be burned alive. I quickly began to ran out the room. He begins to use one his powers I suppose , his hands started bleeding on command and using his blood who could attempt to control my every movement. I could feel the effects of his ability but for some reason it was not working on me. I continue to go up the stairs as I hear him shouting for my death. I tell him he will be the one to die as the place starts being envelop in flames. I see an elavator but realize that would take too long.

I hear him coming so I take the stairs but only to find it's not stairs but another room. I become lucid and try to enter inside a painting as a good hiding place. It's no good I can't enter inside it. I continue to run as he has finally caught up to me. Releasing several bullets from his hand gun. I held my hand up to try to stop the bullets with dream control. It didn't work, as I knew the moment one the bullets were about to hit me. I woke up.

My step-father was driving me to some new apartment I was moving into. They were called the ‘Stardust Apartments,’ or ‘Star[something] Apartments.’ I asked where mom was and he said she had left. He said it in a nonchalant way, like maybe she had moved out a while ago, or that she was just living somewhere else temporarily. The sun was setting and it felt like we were in a desert town.

I was with my mother and her grandmother. My mother had used the cord specifically that went to my flat iron. It seems I had some kind of hair iron that had a detachable cord. I asked her where is was and we couldn’t find it. I was irritated with her. I said something sassy and my grandmother told me not to talk to my mother that way.

Thoughts:
Wondering more: Why do I always seem to dream about my mother? Why do I often seem to be moving, or returning to an apartment?

I am at work talking to someone I am I do not know at my manager office. He leaves and I go check at the beo to see what needs to be done for tommorow. As I am doing so, I am interrupted by my mother who then walks pass me. I'm wondering why she is here intill the person who runs the human resources showed up and ask me how is my head doing. Before I can respond entirely I see she is trying to lift one of the 6ft classroom tables. So I offer to help lift it to her office. It felt way lighter than it should be I thought, but I decided to just go with it. I then enter her office to see my brother and father both sitting down. I attempt to place the table down but the table legs that are meant to hold it were bent for some odd reason. I told the captain human resources that I will come back with a better table. I walk out and notice all the tables were distorted or just plain broken. I lose track of my thoughts and just left the building walking outside on the side walk for a minute or two. Thinking about nothing at all in till it hit me. I felt like I should be doing something but didn't knew what it was. I stood there for a long good second and it hit me. I was suppose to be getting tables , the urge to get a table was too strong to the point where I woke up. But it was truly a false awakening. I look around and got out of my bed. I enter in my bathroom and notice my mirror is reflecting differently then it normally would. I look at my hands and did a nose RC. I knew I am dreaming but lost lucidity fairly quickly .

I was working on [something?]My mother wanted me to help some woman clean houses in WA state.
I could see a field near the ocean, with a series of identical 2 story brick homes facing the beach.
My right shoulder hurt. Someone suggested selling my shoulder muscles as implants, because people did that apparently. I looked at my hand and my fingers were dirty.

I woke up sleeping on my right side in a weird position and my shoulder hurt. Fell back to sleep after reading for a while.

I was traveling with my mom, dad and little brother- my brother was only 5-6 years old and my parents were young. We stopped at a brick apartment/hotel. We were only supposed to be traveling for 1-2 nights so I didn’t bring a change of clothes, only a couple of different shirts. We had dropped off our things at the hotel and I was trying to barricade my dog inside so she could see out of the window but not get out or destroy anything. My dad wondered if the lady managing the apartment was trustworthy. She looked like an old boss of mine. I was at the car but decided to go back inside to grab a sweater or something. I encountered the manager opening the door to our room or the house as I was trying to, and I wondered briefly if my dad was right to suspect her, but she seemed nice so I didn’t worry too much. I think I decided to grab my dog and bring her with us.

I briefly remember being in a car with an old schoolmate, someone I haven’t thought about much at all in many years. Weird.

My dad was driving, it was very dark out, and he didn’t have the headlights on. I was in the backset with my brother, mom was in the passenger seat. I screamed, ‘I can’t see!’ and my dad turned on the headlights just in time for us to see he was veering off a bridge/cliff. He almost corrected it, but the back end of the car had fallen off and dangled for a moment before tipping. We were falling but we couldn’t see what was below us. I had hope it wouldn’t be far, but the longer we fell, I realized we would all probably die. I held my mom’s hand with my right hand but I could only see the hint of her blonde hair in the darkness, and I held my little brother’s with my left hand, I told them I loved them and tried to stay calm. I woke up.

Another fragment—
I asked my dad where my dog was. Then I saw a car parked in the middle of the road ahead of us.
It was daylight, sunny. I saw my dog jump out of the car, wearing a red harness-type device. It was mesh and covered much of her abdomen, and one of her hind legs were stuck in it, so she couldn’t run or walk properly. I ran to save her, but she kept running from me. I finally grabbed her and my dad intervened and was rough with her, pushing her in the face. She bit in in defense, and it was bad. I felt very angry with my dad for treating my dog so violently. I yelled that she had never bitten anyone before and it was his fault. I worried he would tell and she would be quarantined or taken away from me. My dad looked upset, but stoic too. I eventually asked him he was ok. The bite was on his thumb and it looked deep.

Thoughts:
This all seems pretty straightforward, I didn’t feel safe with my dad. He also treated animals rather callously, although he did love them. As far as the first dream of my mom wanting me to clean houses—maybe I feel like my mom wishes I were more conventional and responsible.

I was entering an auditorium for some kind of job-related announcement/seminar. Donald Trump is there. The crowd was told that they can’t stay unless they are wearing a certain kind of shoes or attire. I looked down to see I am wearing a pair of strange high-top black with white markings canvas tennis shoes. I had to leave. Someone tells me I should have worn my silver shoes and I feel irritated by this remark.

I went to my apartment, which is similar to an apartment I rented in waking life over 10 years ago. My mom was there, she tells me that Donald Trump has bought the company I work for. I told her he did not, I don’t even work for a company, I work for one woman who calls herself a company. My mom laughs at me, telling me Im wrong. The way she is treating me made me angry. I asked her where are her facts?! And she sort of went catatonic, looking off to here right, not acknowledging me. I yelled at her but Im confused why she isn’t answering me now. Then I realized I was dreaming. I still felt angry so I pushed her and then I decided I was going to through the television out of the window. We were on the 2nd floor, but since I knew I was dreaming i knew there would be no consequences. I did this, and then I left. I was outside on the drive with my dog and I decided to fly. (ho, hum) I had my dog under my left arm and I was holding sandals in my right hand. Once I was floating I realized I didn’t need to hold onto my sandals and I could let my dog to the ground as well. I thought about running with my dog too. The outside of the apartment and the street are almost identical to the apartment I rented over 10 years ago. (#4) My husband wakes me up to tell me he is leaving for work.

Thoughts:
This apartment seems to be an important location. In waking life I lived tree for only a year. When I moved in things were great- I was dating a new guy, I had just started a career I loved, I could pay my bills and I had friends that I went out with regularly. Over the year that I lived there my drinking became out of control, my closest friendship enabled my bad habits. We were robbed together at gunpoint down the street from this apartment while walking to a nearby shopping center. I starting dating a drug-addicted-sociopathic-compulsive liar. I lost more than one good friend and a good job. I ended up moving out of the place and into the house that my crazy partner lived in with some friends. This was the beginning of one of the roughest periods of my life, but that ended up teaching me a lot of valuable lessons. Maybe the apartment symbolizes a transitional period between good and bad?
The dreams where family members hate me or treat me horribly are so common now that I have decided to really focus on becoming lucid in these moments. Instead of throwing things out of a window and flying off though I would like to do something else. Something to break this cycle. Maybe just tell them I love them?
Shoes were a theme in this dream too. I guess they must symbolize how I feel about myself compared to others.? And how dare Trump invade my dreams!

I recall a fragment. It was close to a midnight. I took a shower and went out of bathroom, meeting my mother on the hallway. She said that I should be aware of huge thunderstorm coming.

I went to bed early last night on 3 glasses of wine (yeah I know) and mild depression. I woke up around 2am with memories of a dream where my brother was very angry with me. I have these dreams fairly regularly, where either my brother, my mom, or my husband really seem to hate me and I can't figure out what it is that I have done that has made them feel this way, or to this extreme. I also had memories of being near a black dog -maybe a lab/mastiff mix?- who was viciously defending her puppy from my dog Cayna and I. I was trying to slowly back away and keep my dog from interacting with the angry dog mama, and my fingers were very nearly bitten off several times. When I woke up with these dreams still on hand, I felt too sick and too apathetic to write them down.

I read for about an hour before I laid back down to attempt sleep. WILDs were on my mind, they almost always are in the early morning hours because I've had so many in these circumstances. I usually know I have to lie on my back and remain very still until I feel myself getting sleepy, then the buzzing/synthesizer noises come and then I feel myself push out of my body and float away from the bed. I tossed and turned and slept for minutes at a time until I returned to lying on my back and feeling really sleepy. I heard loud discordant crashing sounds instead of the more usual buzzing/synth sounds. I felt myself rise out of my body, and I floated to my right and up until I was against the wall. Where my face was touching the wall, I could see an Iggy Pop poster hanging there in the darkness. I don't actually have this poster or any poster hanging there, but I didn't think much of this, and I continued to float, but towards the ground at the foot of my bed. My dog's bed is there, and when I landed I saw her; her face slightly distorted like it has been in other lucid dreams, sort of snarling and scared. I tell her it's ok, I'm dreaming. As usual, I worry if I am really at the foot of my bed and talking out loud. I get up and try to fly. It works, and I start wondering around my house. The clarity wasn't the best I've had. My house was dim, somethings were normal, and others weren't. As I approached my front door I thought, 'Wait! I should experiment here. Should I meditate? (I've done this before with strange effects) Then I decided I would try to reinvent the interior of my home, because as I was trying to fall asleep earlier in the night I have visualized a fantastic treehouse/hobbit-hole house in a forest of giant trees. I closed my eyes and told my self that when I opened them, my house would be amazing. It didn't really work. My kitchen had expanded and looked different, but my old rotten house was still mostly there. From here I lost lucidity or my memory of what happened next.

New dream: I was with my Mom and Step-Dad in an upscale department store/hotel. They were trying to exit the store by climbing up some rocks that were part of a display, and I was trying to explain that all they had to do was walk through a couple of hallways back to the hotel and exit from there. They didn't seem convinced, and anyway, had already managed to mostly slip through a crack in the wall to the outside sidewalk above.

Then I was with my brother in McDonalds (!!! I haven't eaten fast food in a long time). We each had our laptops and it seemed like we were having a meeting. I was just going to order some coffee. At first we were trying to squeeze into a booth with 4 other people, and then I noticed all of the other empty booths around and suggested we use one of those. The dream gets even less cohesive here—my brother's wife was there, then we were either at their house or my Mom's. Dialogue happened but I can't remember much of what we talked about. A portion was about Shepherd puppies, and people breeding them, and how one guy had a web-cam on his to help sell them. I was trying to share my knowledge of Shepherds but no one wanted to listen.

Then I was in a car, maybe in the backseat but someone else was definitely driving. My mom and her husband were saying things about me that I found really out-of-touch, like laughing about how I love certain things/celebrities that I haven't been into since i was a teenager. I tried to correct them but they just smiled like they knew better. Then my Dad called. (he passed away last year) He told me Happy Birthday (not my birthday, but maybe I was thinking of Father's Day?) and was his usual excited and goofy self. He also joked about me liking a certain celebrity and things I used to like when I was a teenager. I turned to the woman driving, who I could now see (and I seemed to be in the front passenger seat now) and I knew she was my dad's girlfriend(dream only, not IRL). I tried to tell her that I wasn't the same person they thought I was, and she seemed to pay more attention, but still didn't really believe me.

Last, I was walking and talking to a vague someone and explaining to them how it seems that I must come off as stupid to everyone because it seems like everyone treats me that way. The look on their face told me that they also thought I was stupid, but was trying to placate me.

Thoughts:
I gave a lot of exposition throughout, so there isn't much extra to add. I think I have self esteem issues, anxiety, and guilt over not seeing my family much nor feeling very connected to them.

Programmed myself to wake after every dream, which I did but I find it very much like coming up for air then plunging back under the murky waters, quite disorientating. So lots of chaining.
Also I tried FILD a lot.

D1 - Escaping from my father I travel across europe. I am being traced by a chip sticking out of my iphone.

D2 - Staying in Ireland, in a farm house. Waking up early in a bedroom, with double windoes overlooking the farm courtyard. I am a child but do not want to go visiting the farmyard animals with the other children.

D3 - I am a child again and I am unable to stop the bathroom tap running (a phobia of mine when I was younger). I am yelling for my My mum to sort it out.

oooo I don't really remember having dreams where i'm a child before Oo, must be deeper.

I had about four false awakenings LOL

First dream

I was in a huge city, parking my car in shopping mall's parking. It was summertime and I drove there to visit my mother in her new workplace. I couldn't find myself a suitable spot to park. When I finally found it I left it and entered the mall. It was heavily crowded. I met my previous teacher, but she was thirty years older. An elderly woman with completely white hair. She was wearing a dress with strange patterns. We talked for a while. Someone was laughing from me, I felt that the whole mall is full of people I didn't liked. After a long while I finally met my mother, but she had to work. I left her and decided to get into my car and drove away. On the way to the parking I heard and saw people I knew and didn't liked very much, gathered into one place and watching me, laughing. I got nervous and run towards my car, kicking someone on the way. When I finally entered the car, I decided to check where's nearby computer store.

Second dream

I was testing a computer game of my design, checking how combat moves combination work. I was wandering around volcanic lands, fighting with monsters.

It was an evening. I was in my backyard, through the window I could see the light turned on in the kitchen. There was a piano in the middle of my backyard. With brother's pals we were playing random tunes. When it got to my turn, I was playing a funeral march and then other random songs. I wanted to play something I made up, but it played something entirely different and random. The piano changed colour's and floated in the air. I turned back from it and saw a cat attack a small chicken. It escaped and ran to my mother, who was just passing by. It made crying noises, I wanted to help it and came closer. Then, the chicken exploded with a puff of blood, which hit my face. I came back inside, thinking "I could die in my sleep due to ulcers..."

It was cloudy, grim afternoon. Storm clouds were high up in the sky. I was at a graveyard with my mother, we took some tools to clean graves of family. I looked around and saw a huge ball of dirt, grass and other plants. It was growing up and slowly rolling around the graveyard. It's speed was increasing all the time, and when we were halfway to grandpa's grave, it rolled with really high speed, leaving only a dirt path behind. Mother was quite surprised how fast it rolled. It turned towards us and we had to jump out of it's way.

I'm in a house I do not know, but it is where I live. I'm with other people and my mother (deceased) as well. A young man comes to visit us. Then he becomes a very annoying person, he is continually disturbing me. I try to throw him from the house and even get him out, he returns again and this time it's overwhelming, it sticks to me (I start to feel overwhelmed and on the verge of nightmare). Finally, I make an effort of will and get him out of the house. My mother tries to calm me.

I was really tired last night, for no special reason. I tried to read while my husband was watching a soccer match, but I kept dosing off. Went to bed at 21.45!

Woke up at 3.20 with a fragment on my mind. Maybe it wasn't even a dream fragment, but that would make it a really strange thought, so I'm going to count it as a fragment.

Fragment 1: All my dreams from the period of sleep that I just woke from were on a wooden cutting board. I tilted it and with my big knife I pushed them off, straight into my DJ…

I went straight back to sleep, too tired to do a WBTB and woke up at 6.15 remembering:

The bishop
My father, mother, me and ? arrive by bike at a big sports hall. Apparently we'll be visiting the celebration of a jubilee of an African bishop in there. We put our bikes in the designated outside area for bikes. Once inside the hall I take part in a workshop for "upcycling" (making something new and better out off used garments) clothes. I make myself a wide cream coloured, two layered top with a dark brown edge along the neckline. When I'm ready I start looking for my father and mother. I push through the crowd, some people recognize me and compliment me on my blouse. Proudly I tell them that I made it myself, without a pattern, just like that. A young woman thinks it's too big. I shrug my shoulders. What do you want, first time ever, without help…
I want to leave and find out that my parents have already left. I wonder if they would have left my bike there. There are a lot of bikes there but I don't recognize mine. I grab a ladies bike that is not locked and cycle of to the right, into town. After going for a while I decide that it's not right and I return to where I came from. I put the bike back, next to a woman (who looks like Marion that I met in the village last Sunday morning) is putting hers away. The two bikes lean against each other and she says; "Be careful now, don't touch them anymore". Together we walk towards the buildings. "To go to Brandons you have to go straight here and turn right later on" she says, pointing at the apartment buildings far away. "That's not where I'm going" I say to her and go in the direction of the sports hall. "Oh", she says "for Randen it's in there". I think she's full of nonsense and go inside. I move through the crowd until I find a group that includes my aunt Nelly and her daughter Anita. I talk to them for a bit until I see my dad. He's carrying a cotton bag and takes out a pair of pink pants so that I can get changed. I tell him that I want to say goodbye to the bishop before we go. The bishop is a big black man. He's "dressed" in a shiny, wooden case, only his head sticks out. It's a bit like a coffin, but the form is more rounded. He's standing up, watching a movie (?) that's being projected on a screen. There is a big case filled with boxes that contain parts of the movie. I guess that this is the present he's had. I say goodbye to him. He says that he's very happy that I came and he puts his hand on my head as a blessing gesture.

When I wake up next at 8.30 I remember 3 fragments, of which two are from the same dream:

Fragment 2: Don't do that….. I'm sure you will not be able to get all of it back!

Fragment 3: My dad, his wife, me, my husband and our youngest son are in a room together. My son is sitting in the corner of a sofa and preparing himself a smoke. I say to my husband, "The boy is only 15, are you okay with that?" He shrugs his shoulders. I'm angry, I grab my stuff and leave. I'm annoyed with myself, I've got nowhere to go, I haven't got the key to the car, or our house. I should have tried to find a solution instead of running off.

Fragment 4: My dad's wife is not feeling well. I want to leave and that's what I do. Just a bit later I see my dad and his wife following me. He's sort of dragging her along because she's feeling really bad. When they get to where I am my dad starts climbing on top of something and she lies down on the side of the road. I say to her that I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to do this to her, she could have stayed at home.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

I find myself in a lounge like area of a restaurant, that has more of a private living room vibe to it. The illumination is quaintly dark, looks like it is illuminated by torches on the wall or dimmed lighting. I am sat in a sofa setting, two square coffee tables in front of me, with someone one my side I am unfamiliar with or can't remember. The sofas are rather large and comfortable, made of dark brownish leather.

On the opposite side in the other sofa is my mother, and she is holding the menu. We are laughing at one another, but it is a laugh of irritation and irony. The menu is rather limited – and their certainly isn't any vegan options. We look for the wine list, but find out in some manner, maybe just intuitive knowledge that there isn't anything to select from.

The manager comes over, he is also our waiter or maybe a waitress has called him over because we have complained. He starts explaining that of course there are options and that this is the menu he is running, completely ignoring our complaints. At the same time he is making an obvious pass at my mom, and I think “cheeky fucker” - reading that he is using his sexual advances to avoid dealing with our problems.

He is your typical short, hairy and somewhat greasy Italian or Greek stereotype, speaking in an Italian accent. He starts out being stocky and somewhat round but over the course of the dream turns extremely skinny, though he maintains his open and deep cut shirt and full dark moustache.

After a short while with him constantly leaning in towards my mother trying to get close to snatch a kiss and overload her sensual senses I have had enough. I get angry. I stand up knock the menu off the table with a backhanded slap, so it goes skittering across the dark redish/ochre tiled floor, towards the entrance where real dining tables are placed. It comes to a halt by one of these tables. There are two or three waitresses standing over there looking anxiously towards me, if not quite in shock – they are dressed in a typical white blouse, black skirt and apron outfits.

The manager gets up and he is now much thinner and smaller than I. I go and grab him by the throat and pull him towards the area with the dining tables. I start strangling him, anger rushing up through my stomach like a volcano spewing out Lava. I don't recall if I say anything to him, though I have a feeling that I tell him of my dissatisfaction with him using sexual/romantic advances in order to avoid dealing with the valid complaints about the place we have.

I let him go briefly and pick up one of Karens's t-shirts – a light purple coloured one – and wrap it around his throat and pull tightly together. I notice that none of the people around me are trying to stop me despite me being in the process of killing the owner.

Immediate Interpretation: Killing the waiter, who is making a pass at my mum could represent that I am frustrated with my own preoccupation with engaging in a sexual and romantic relation with Karen, which I have seen have the capacity to pull me away from writing my thesis. Alternatively it could be representing an intuitive fear I have that she is somehow “playing” her sexuality at me instead of dealing with the emotional problem I feel she is experiencing, when she is simultaneously pushing me away and also want me closer. It could also represent that I am aware of a manipulative aspect within myself, where I am using my own sexual advances in order to avoid dealing with an emotional issue I am experiencing myself – which makes sense as this 2 day non-communication deal has stirred up some anger and confusion.

I just awoke from a bizarre dream. I went to DFW airport in a matter of seconds, then was on a connecting flight to Germany (which was instant), and then I was in Germany, however I don't know which city. I was then at a rather large house and my dad was with me. I was attempting to have a nice lady assist me with my passport or visa, and for some reason she couldn't help me without my brothers help. My brother lives in Dallas, TX and it was something like 3am when I called him and told him the situation. Well, next thing I know, my brother and my mother were at the house in Germany. After all of that effort, I had just missed the passport/visa lady because she had left. I remember feeling angry at the lack of communication. However the anger subsided and I remember the four of us walking towards a beautiful sunset or sunrise and we all felt happy. Dreams are so weird.