All DJ Entries

10/19/10
Dr. B from college is with me. He is acting weird. At one point he is sitting behind me, and he keeps touching my waist and leg. I find it weird but don't try to stop him. My (real life) husband is with me, I think. Dr. B gives me a little packet of rolled-up notebook scraps, tied with twist-ties. He leaves. I open one of these scraps. It says something about love on it. I say to my husband, "He's in love with me." Husband says, "I know." We sort of shrug with a 'that's weird' sort of attitude. Later Dr. B is talking about a paper-writing competition that I should enter. I say I wouldn't know what to write about. He says I just need to build off this other paper I wrote about religion and culture.
I say that I've started composing a song (on the piano) for the competition to go with my submission. (The song is actually Mariage D'amour by Clayderman, which I learned to play a few weeks ago.) There are two pianos here. My mother is playing the full-size one. The other's keyboard is very short, maybe only 1 1/2 octaves. I wonder to myself if I will have enough room. I try it and determine I need the full-size piano. I ask my mom if I can play the song. She says yes. I sit down and start playing. I struggle. I don't quite remember the notes. Eventually I can play a little of the song. (I am playing without sheet music.) Dr. B is there now. I am hoping to impress him but he doesn't pay much attention to my playing. He is walking around me with cups and champagne (?) saying, "[She] has not yet agreed to marry me."

At one point I am saying to him that I'm not sure I've ever written a truly good paper. He responds with not-quite-reassurance.. something about how when he gets a whole class-full of papers something in them must be good.

There's another scene where I am with some women (friends?), describing my encounter with a blonde woman. This person was a religious fanatic. I was talking to her as research for my paper. This woman said something like "I hate all niggers and jews." And I asked her, "This is because of your religion?" And she says yes. I am acting out this exchange for my women friends and acting really obnoxious when I am playing the bigot woman. Dr. B says that I asked the right questions.

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Commentary:
I don't recall ever before having a dream in which I play piano. That's really interesting. (I've played piano since I was 7 years old.)

The Dr. B love stuff might just be day residue because I was reading about King Henry IV on Wikipedia last night, and he was a huge philanderer and had a zillion mistresses.

Interesting that my mom made an appearance too, and that she was playing piano. (She does play piano in real life.) All I saw was the back of her head, though. She had brown hair, not quite shoulder length. She has gray in her hair now, though, which was not in the dream.

¡Single Sentence Sizzler!®

16.08.2010

The One Where I Play The Piano (Non-lucid)

★★☆☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Originally Posted by Mzzkc

Not convinced of our abilities, Jeremy Clarkson, one of our instructors, forced me and the one other pianist in the orchestra to compose three separate, complex pieces on the spot using nothing but our pinkies; the music we created was beautiful, exciting, and inspiring, yet also morose and haunting.

I was in the kitchen, and I got a phone call from an old friend named Bree. She told me that she was having a party tonight and that I was welcome to come. I said that I would, but remembered that finals were tomorrow (in the dream, not rl) so I told her that I wouldn't stay too late.

I arrived at the party and there were tons of cars parked on the grass and around the house. That's the last thing I remember for awhile.

I wake up again, screaming. There are two 'men' on me, but one is actually a giant red octopus. I'm being violently raped by these two men, and still screaming at the top of my lungs. There is blood all over the sheets and I can't see my attackers well because it's dark in the room. I tried to escape but passed out again.

I woke up alone in the same room, which I recognized to be my old bedroom. Blood had stained the sheets and next to me in the bed are hundreds of dead ladybugs. Across the room is the electric piano, which has split itself down the middle (when I was a child I used to have recurring nightmares about being attacked by an electric piano). I scooted the chair back into place and put the two halves of the piano together again.

I left the house and stumbled down the driveway. There was a girl throwing up chocolate cake near the edge of the driveway. Cars were still parked outside the house even though it was pretty dark and empty now. In my head I heard a whispering "Wake up, wake up, wake up!". I woke up IRL, it was 9am which was the time that I had aimed to wake up at...

that dream was so disturbing

PART 1 - RICH FAMILY PIANO VISIT

I'm visiting some rich, "upper class" family. I don't know how I know them.

There is a mother - 50s, slim, narrow face, short brown cropped hair, well mannered but stern, a cold personality... and a daughter, who looks like someone I very vaguely know IRL.

The house seems to be based on two locations from my past, one from my childhood and one my father's current home. Kind of both at once, as dreams often seem to weirdly do.

I practice on their piano (in the kitchen area from my childhood house)... meanwhile in the next room, the mother is teaching the daughter piano (living room, right across - where there used to actually be a piano IRL).

At one point I crawl into the room toward the corner opposite from them (there is no other furniture other than the piano), where there is a picture of the daughter leaning against the wall on the floor. I "fix" the tilt of the picture. As I do, I'm more or less staring at the daughter. She pretends not to notice.

As I'm crawling back out, I realize that I was staring and that it must have seemed creepy, and think to myself that I should completely ignore the daughter for a while to compensate.

After a while the mother comes in and asks how I'm doing. I pick up on the subtext that it's time for me to go, and say that I was actually just about to head out.

As I'm leaving I notice I'm wearing a bulky green-ish jacket I've borrowed from them. I hesitate, wondering if they'll ask for it back, but suppose they let me keep it for now as it's raining outside.

I think the original reason I borrowed it had something to do with what took place before I arrived, some sense of danger, but can't remember. I remember something about playing in an orchestra...

On my way out (now based on my father's current home), where there is usually a closet by the front door, I notice it's a door into an entire room that is in fact a giant checkers board, with giant checkers pieces to play with and everything.

ANALYSIS

Piano is one of several arts I've been considering to spend my time on while not working on my meditation project, so I'm sure that association is primed in my mind.

Crawling into the room... this could certainly symbolize submitting to their "higher status."

Fixing the tilt of the picture... this could mean trying to improve her self image, perhaps repair damage done by the harsh mother figure.

The checkers room... this could refer to decadence, extravagance, this rich family having a whole room just for checkers.

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PART 2 - RAP ALBUM G

I'm talking to my IRL friend G about releasing a rap album. I say that I'm not super motivated to release one at this point, otherwise I would be "working my contacts," that it's "just a hobby right now."

ANALYSIS

Perhaps trying to qualify myself, essentially trying to prove, "I could if I wanted to."

I didn't record right when I woke up, so these are just fragments.

1- School Dance
I am getting into the backseat of my mom's minivan, and my dad is about to drive me to a dance that is apparently going on. My brother and sister are also in the car, sitting in the middle seats. At some point I had reached into my pocket and found a plastic baggy that had pot in it, and I didn't want anyone to know. As I pass my brother to get into the backseat, the plastic baggy crinkles very loudly, as if there is a microphone on it or something. My brother thinks it is food, and so he sticks out his hand as though he wants me to give him some. "It's just an empty wrapper," I tell him. When we get to the school, I enter into the foyer, and a faculty member is asking to check my pockets. I am relieved when I don't have to turn them out, but merely show him what is inside. I obviously leave the plastic baggy in and show him everything else. "Actually, I'm gonna need to see that pocket" he says, and before I can run out the door, he grabs me and I yell.
FYI, I don't smoke pot. Just a dream. lol

2- Killer Queen
I am at a piano, and the sheet music to Killer Queen is on the stand. My friend is next to me holding her own music as well. I begin to play the first chords, but someone behind me asks me to wait. I obey, and glance over at my friend's music. Instead of reading normally, it is reversed, like in a mirror. I ask her why it is like that, and she tells me it is a photocopy, and I accept the notion that everything that is photocopied comes out in a mirror version. This is all I remember, and I'm angry that I didn't recognize an obvious dream sign.

★★★

Fragment

I remember walking around in a place where there were dead musicians. vivaldi was there. I remember seeing johnny cash as well. he was wearing blue jeans with a red rose woven into the side leg.



Random

In this dream I was walking around my house. I kept coming to a piano and wanting to play a chopin tune... i think the one in my head was a c minor nocturne.



I kept walking around and Asuka was behind me. She kept pointing me to video cassettes of star trek DS9. i kept saying "no, I don't have a VCR just a DVD player"

* I have "job" written down but I don't remember the dream.

Computer

I followed Asuka into a basement room. There was a computer there with an old monitor jacket covering on it. Asuka went and lied down on the bed... she was smiling. I asked her if I could use the computer. I remember pulling the cover off but I don't remember anything after that.

* I have Mzzkc written down but no memory comes to mind.

Crickets documentary

someone says I have to watch a documentary about crickets. They put on a DVD and I begin watching it. It's two old people sitting in a living room. I find myself in the room with me. They give me a glass of milk or something. I pill it all over their carpet. Then the old man does the same thing. he then pulls the chair back to get at the stain at the carpet. I forget what happened after.

23.06.2010

Frog and Fish Play (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Me and my grade were on a field trip. To some place. I don't remember what it was at all. It was weird. Everyone was going to take part in a play. Some students were frogs, and some were fish. I was a fish, but I didn't want to be in the play. So I threw the fish costume down on the floor. My friend Nathan, who was a frog, threw down his costume as well. A teacher, which looked like my 6th grade math teacher, screamed at us for not wanting to be in the play. I just said, "Well, I'm not going to be in this play, so deal with it." She said, "Then you two can sit over there with me!" The dream skipped, we didn't walk over. Me and Nathan were sitting next to each other next to this teacher. We were watching the play. I don't remember what was going on. The dream skipped and I was riding in the backseat of my mom's car, and we were on West Liberty, just coming up the ramp. Then I woke up.

25.06.2010

Digital Piano without Weighted Keys (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

In real life, I'm getting a piano in about two weeks. Finally, A REAL ONE. Of all these years(only 2 years actually lol) getting stuck with these keyboards and digital pianos, I'm finally getting a real piano.

Me and my stepdad, Homer, were on the computer looking for a piano. We found one. It was a digital one. Apparently, I didn't want a real one anymore. This digital one was an upright, and had all 88 keys. It looked really professional. It kinda looked like the Roland HP-307(look it up if you don't know what it is). So anyway, the dream skipped and it arrived in the mail. We opened up a giant truck, and it was inside the truck, already plugged in? and built. So I went to play it... and, it DIDN'T HAVE WEIGHTED KEYS. I was really pissed. Homer said, "Well, then we can return it." "Well, do it! Because it sucks!" The sound was actually really good. It sounded like a piano. It sounded very sharp and bright. It was a good sound, but the keys sucked ass. The dream skipped and I went back to the truck which was still there for some reason, to see if the piano was there. It was. I screamed for Homer to ask him why he didn't return this piece of shit, but he didn't answer. I woke up.

I work on my lucid goals and try to ignore my interfering parents.

I'm wandering through a house, and I stop at a piano. There's sheet music open, and it looks interesting, so I sit down and start to play it. I play the song through entirely, and listen to the notes hum and fade away as the song ends. Then I start from the beginning, trying to memorize it.

Still in the house, which I think might belong to a relative. My dad stops me and asks for my help with something, but something feels off. I realize that I'm dreaming and take in my surroundings, surprised by how stable the dream is, and how real everything looks. My dad still wants help, but I tell him that I can't get caught up in the dream-plot.

It was hard to tell, I say to my mom, that this was a dream. Our surroundings have been very stable, and the only part of the house that's changed has been the twin beds that appeared in the living room.

I try to remember my dream goals. Right, I wanted to open a portal. I stretch out my hand and will a circle to form, growing outward from the spot where my hand is. I start to see blue rings form, but the dream fades.

I see title credits. That's it: a black background with words on it. I don't even have a body, though I'm still lucid. My entire awareness is focused within this little black box I've made for myself.

Frustrated, I post the journal entry on the forums, in my old DJ thread. The Cusp (who I don't think I've ever interacted with) makes a few suffestions. He says that if portals don't work for me, I shouldn't force it, and should try another method.

Scare Factor: 2.