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I remembered this dream when I woke up at 3 am for my shift, but didn't write it down. Later, I couldn't remember what it was about, until now at 7 pm someone on TV mentioned Istanbul.

I just moved into an apartment complex near the bridge in Istanbul. I think it was that huge bridge over Bosporus connecting European part of Istanbul with Asian part. I was thinking about this bridge and the cityl just last few days. How much I liked Istanbul and how much fun it would have been to walk across that bridge on foot, like I did with Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

I started walking from my apartment on a sidewalk, with buildings on my left, and some concrete channel, or freeway on my right. There were some huge channels coming out of the buildings. Like end of a gutter, or place where water runs through. Water was very low, it barely made the ground wet, but moss was growing there and I was worried if I slip or get my shoes wet. And thinking what is the purpose of those channels, intercepting the sidewalk. They were so out of place.

I came to the beginning of the bridge and I realized I have walked too far. Somehow I missed the turnoff I was supposed to make. I see a map on the wall but I can't really make sense of it. I'm thinking that's ok, I'll just walk up the stairs to a tourist center and buy a map of the place. Then I realized I don't have any money on me, maybe just enough for a bus ride home. So I was gonna borrow some money from my aunt Julie who strangely worked there.

I have one more dream, but sadly nothing on TV today jogged my memory, haha.

I just had a emergen-C drink with 3 mgs of melatonin. I already took it once before bed time and I remember sleeping well but no recall.

I was floating in an ocean in mostly darkness, although I could see below the surface of the water. I could see my legs moving to keep me afloat, and a long rope attached to me, via my waist I believe. On the other end was a camera. I was part of some experiment for me or an unknown identity to explore depths of this water.

Later:
I reunited with an ex from my distant past. I'll call him Jake. My first memory of the dream is Jake and I laying in bed in the morning, sitting up with our backs propped on pillows against the wall. We were talking, and Jake said, 'Don't go falling in love right away.' I was not in fact feeling happy I was there, and felt like perhaps I had made a mistake. I said, 'I'm not, don't worry.' Jake looked hurt, and I realized he had actually seemed very happy we had re-connected, and maybe I had hurt his feelings. We were on some kind of trip, and we were leaving this day. I packed up, and Jake didn't talk to me much. Randomly my mom was there, as well as my step-dad, accompanying us on our journey home. Next we were in a car with a young version of my bio-dad driving. I was in the back, Jake in the front. He said, "We need to talk later, and I hope you remember what you promised me back [at the bleachers? football field? I have a vague image in my mind of what he meant, but I don't remember what he said]. I also didn't remember what I had promised him and I felt a little nervous, and a little like a jackass and I thought I was probably ending things once again with Jake and he would hate me.

Next Jake and I (and maybe my family?) are in a grocery. I have an old, ragged roller suitcase. I stand next to a store employee and notice a crow at his feet. The crow is eating tiny crumbs of debris from the floor. I laugh to the store employee and we both agree the crow is a great little helper (keeping the floors clean). The crow begins to peck and tug at my suitcase, but I don't care because it's old. Then without my direct recognition of this in the dream, the crow is a dog, like an Australian Shepherd, and we are playing tug of war with my suitcase.

We stopped at a small Bed and Breakfast, my mom and her husband resurfaced. They showed us the rooms we would be staying in. The entire Bed and Breakfast shared one kitchen. I didn't like this idea but I wasn't too bothered because I knew we were only staying one night. It was a cozy place, like a grandmother's home. Jake, an older man [replacement for my Dad and Stepdad?] and I sat around the kitchen table. Jake was talking about how many horrible people there are in the world. I said, 'But there are lots of great people too,' I start to mention how I also think about how everyone was once an innocent child, but Jake seems not to care what I have to say. A baby crawls into the room and spills a small amount of soda on the rug. I laugh and the baby giggles, and I teach it how to clean up the spill. The baby, clad in a diaper, seems to only be around 8 months - 1 year old. I ask Jake and the man if they have seen that funny new Hitler movie. 'You know, the German one, where Hitler time travels to present day after he thought he killed himself? It's really pretty funny in some spots."


Thoughts:
The ocean beginning seems very obviously symbolic of me looking deep into my emotional past or sub-conscious. I can also see how it is a well-executed prelude to the following dream. As far as the 2nd dream, I have been dreaming rather frequently about various exes, and finding myself stuck in relationships with them again. I'm afraid this says something about my latent insecurities about my marriage; aspects of it that remind me of things in past relationships I didn't like, or things about myself that I don't like. In waking life I am very happily married, and although my husband and I are working to better ourselves, I suppose I am looking forward to a time in the future where these things have changed.

Sleep from 8pm - 3:20am

I got accepted to JPL school in Texas. It's not just a campus, but a research center and exhibition park with all things space. It's somewhere up in the hills, so high, that they have to carry up even helicopters.

I'm excitingly trying to call my brother to tell them I got accepted to JPL, because he was going for a visit there. But there is no signal so I'm going to wait till I skype him from my room.

I'm with my old classmates and a teacher having orientation. After that we take some escalators down into living habitats, which are huge building towers. The escalators and everything is full of visitors, tourists, people who work and live there.

We stop on the bottom of the escalator, because friend of mine M wants to get a drink. One bar is closed for some celebration, so my friend and someone else pulls out half full bottle of pear vodka and make mixed drinks at outside tables of another bar. I wonder where they have the bottle before.

Then we take a people mover that dips deep down into a wall and ends up at a boarding platform. We need to cross from Tower A to Tower B where we have living quarters. We sit down in nice cusioned seets on this transportation device that looks like a disneyland ride. It has about 7-10 seat rows. The attendant comes by to check our resident cards and I scramble to find one in my backpack. When she scannes it, she tells us that we have to wait for the next one, because this one is full. But it clearly is not, so we feel discriminated against because we are from another country.

So me and 3 other males ask how to get to the other tower and we are told there is some service tunnel. We get there and there are many heavy doors opening and closing fast to let fast moving people moving carts through. They are going really fast , we can't even see them coming or going, just a blur. Somehow we get through few doors, I see those guys running through them, diving through pipes and openings in the wall. But we have to turn back, because it becomes more dangerous and people just can't get through there.

I was just thinking yesterday why am I not having cool dreams like I used to.

Last night:
I was in South Amerika, I think Chile. We are looking at some monitor that's showing different beaches in Chile. We are picking a beach for a vacation. Someone says that when there is a heatwave in Mexico, it's also hot down in Chile.

Few days before:
It's night. We are running through some landscapa that is just dirt with occasional bush. It looks like lots of people went there, dirt is all roughed up. Someone is attacking in the distance from above. I see a hole in the ground. We go in. A huge rock blocks the entrance after we get in. We walk through some tunnels dug in the soil, it's pretty well lit with yellow light from unknown source. I have a feeling it's headqarters of resistance against alien invasion.

The mood was anxious.

It was night. I was with friends. We met somewhere but then decided to take a friend's car going somewhere. We passed by some buildings then the place became unfamiliar. The owner asked the driver where we were and if we would pass by some place (I don't remember the word) through this route. The driver answered, and the owner was satisfied. I thought the place looks familiar now.

We ended up having to go down by a checkpoint. For some reason, we had to stop and go down and eat. It was an outdoor eatery. The military at the checkpoint said some demeaning things to those who don't want to volunteer for the military and praised those who do. I remember then there was a list that we supposedly signed a while back. Those who want to enlist will choose to stay in that area. Those who don't want to can leave after. I got worried if I chose to stay, then I mentally changed my answer in that list.

I was riding an elevator. At first, it went straight up, or I just didn't notice it moving anywhere but up. I was with friends. Not sure where we were going. We stopped at a floor. We went back to the elevator to get somewhere else.

I was with one friend. We were going up the elevator again. This time, I felt it tilt to the side, and I felt gravity pulling me down. Then it kept moving all over the place. My friend was holding on to a horizontal bar at the chest level inside the elevator to keep himself from moving, and he was still "standing" on the "floor" even while the elevator is upside down.

Arrived at an office. He invited me there but turned out he was applying for work and I'm working for the same company. I said hi to a few people, even one who's about to leave. I was supposed to talk about an incoming meeting but felt like I had to hurry when my friend said we're about to leave.

I went out the office and looked back. I saw our local head, but he looks like Obama after years of being president: tired, grey haired. I waved but he was just frowning. I wondered, should I be here in the first place? I went to the next room and went right to some sort of a "fun" room: there were sofas, clothing, bean bags, etc. People were lining up to go into the comfort room. Interestingly, the person's outline inside is visible. It's like there's a yellow glowing line inside that makes the person's outline visible through the wall. I saw the outline was sitting then stood up. I decided I'd rather look for another comfort room.

It was still night.

--

I took ibuprofen + paracetamol before I fell asleep for the pain in my head.
I recently told a friend about an opening at work.
I'm anxious about going back to our hometown.
I'm anxious about the dirt that went into my fingernails.

Bed: ~00.00
Wake up: 08.15
Now: 08.30

Travel
I'm in Indonesia, together with my girlfriend. We're travelling around the country. I think that at the start of the dream we are in Sulawesi and we're deciding on our next flight. I think I'm alone at some times. The details are a bit blurry, but I've missed a flight that I had already booked to Singapore. Ah well. At one moment we are walking around in the streets, which are sand-covered. In another moment we seem to be at the airport.

This dream also alternates with a bird's eye view of several places. I see the very south-west part of Java, at the coast. There's a section where there's a relatively thin line of sand, with water at both sides. It looks like a great place to go. In another moment I also see Singapore, though not where it's supposed to be. There's another country attached to it's eastern border, which is only a bit bigger. I'm considering flying to Singapore and then travelling to this country by land. I could make this trip in 4 days, 2 days per country. I think the other name was similar to India. I'm not sure what I would do in that country though, I'm not even really interested in it. I'm also considering the amount of days I have left before university supposedly starts.

Game
I'm playing a game with Justin, my cousin's boyfriend. It's a game we seem to control through our phones, but which takes place in reality at some points. It's a game where we're both controlling soldiers, or opposing units at least. I think at one point he's controlling a big cat like animal which is pretty much invincible. He's trash talking the hell out of me. The style of the game is quite cartoony, like Big Little War Game. A few times I take control over some soldiers who have a gatling gun. I manage to take out a few of his soldiers every time before mine get taken down, yet he's still trash talking me and making me feel like I suck.


Work
I'm at a fancy work place. I'm not sure whether I work here though. The place looks very modern, mostly clean white. The people that I do recall seeing are dressed in suits and similar attire. There are two white women walking just at the top of the stairs/escalator. One of them is a bride and the other seems to be her friend. The bride is not wearing anything bride-like though. I quickly go up the stairs. There's one corner to the left in the stairs where I decide to jump on the cylinder shaped grey railing. I jump on it, jump to another part and then continue my way to the top. I wanted to get there quickly cause I thought the bride looked really beautiful and wanted to see her better. Once I'm a bit closer I realise that her friend is actually way prettier. I walk past them inconspicuously. Once I'm past them I decide on another approach. I rewind time a bit and then decide to freeze it. It places me just in front of them and allows me to take a close look at the woman's face. Time is not totally frozen though, it's just in slow motion. The woman is still moving a bit. I decide to fake that I wasn't spending any attention on them. I'm walking with my classmate Wil towards a narrow gallery, with the women walking in the same direction. One of them says something of which I'm not sure whether it was a joke or not. She says we're stalking them. Nope! We got here first. Now we're pretending(?) we had a bet going on and I just won it. I get all excited about my win. I'm thinking up the narrative on the spot. This could be our yearly bet that I have just won, explaining my excitement.


Fragments
» There was a party today or yesterday. My cousin didn't show up, even though I thought he would. I'm quite disappointed, cause I was looking forward to seeing him.

» I'm at the apartment complex where my mom lives, at the ground level. I enter through the door at normal pace, but make a sharp move several metres to the left, taking a big ball with me using my feet. There's someone waiting for the elevator who by now must think I'm avoiding him. I go to the storage units (which aren't like reality), which creep me out a little bit in this dream. My mom's unit is on the opposite side of where it's supposed to be. Also, the lock is totally different. There's a guy (Koen?) inside. I don't think he's there against his will, but still I'm a bit iffy of the whole situation. A few units to the left is a grown tiger.

I'm in a competition, something in english I don't remember. I win the big prize, a trip to Venize. It doesn't look like the real deal at all; it's a big, green and lush prairie, with low, soft rolling hills. I walk around a little, listening to the murmuring grass. I spot a old, gnarly tree with a very dark, almost black bark and big off-white flowers. Their petals are thick, fleshy, with a waxy sheen and a very soft, floral smell. I pick a butch of them, the twigs holding them snapping easily. I try to put them into a pan filler with water, but the are so big I can't make them all fit.
After that I'm vsiting a house with a small group of people. It's mostly one long room, with green rottin furniture, fairly used; in place the rottin is faded to a soft, light gray. There's also potted plants clustered here and there, painting touches of colors in the house.

I had precognition ability. I was in a forest. There's a rhino-alligator. There ARE rhino-alligators. One tried to chase me. I jumped on a tree stump. It didn't chase me there. I think I tried to fly.

I was in school. I was flying around but only on roof level. Sis and Nimz were there.

Night. I was traveling with friends. I was in Bacolod. The jeepney dropped us along Lacson St near Ramos. We had to go down and take a trisikad (bike with sidecar). We ate somewhere. Outdoors. We walked. We were going home. We walked out (?) of the hotel to the street. There were cars. I think we were going to take a cab.

2.1.2016

Last night shift from 5-10pm

Slept from 2am-9am

[Yesterday I read a book about Just Paying attention. So I was doing it most of the day, trying to keep my attention on what I was doing. For ex. I was carrying a box, so I would say: I'm looking at my hands, I have black gloves on, I have a box, I'm walking, looking around, there are people, are these DCs, HI DC!, ... and just basically noticing things around me and acknowledging them.]

Woke up with memory of a DILD.

I am with some people when I realize I should be dreaming and lucid. I count my fingers but I decide I'm not dreaming. Immediately after that I KNOW I am ALWAYS dreaming and lucid so I recount.

I count one by one, all the way to 12 on my left hand, to make a show for those people. I'm amazed, because every one of my fingers is dressed in pyjamas. Light blue with some toys and teddies like a baby's soft flanel pyjama. When I come to 12, people are also amazed.

I walk to the window and tell them "Now I'm gonna do what I always do when lucid. I'm going for a flight". And I jump out the window.

I'm flying superman style (I normally fly in standing up position, kinda like a hummingbird) over some sand. I realize I wanted to see the Lencois Sand Dunes in Brazil.

So I bank left and there they are.

One lake is more beautiful than the other. All different colors and shapes.

Turqoise, green, blue. I can hear myself go "uuuuuu" and "aaaah" and I'm surprised and amazed at such beauty.

Little further down, also in sand dunes are some low, elongated openings to the underground. It seem to me that those are the ends of lava tubes where lava was coming out from. Not sure why, because they don't look like it. (I have been to a real one on the Big Island of Hawaii).

After all this I write down the 12 fingers, the lakes and I feel especially important part is how I realized that I am ALWAYS DREAMING. I knew I'm writing this down in a dream but I was hoping it will help me remember after I wake up. (This is second time I done this)

Jan 6, 2016

There zombies. I was running at night on the right. It was dark and hard to see. I was going out of our hometown, heading south.

I was in a dormitory, trying to find a place to sleep/hide. There was a vampire. I moved/led to my parents' room to hide.

I was traveling in a bus from our hometown, heading south. I was with mom and sis. There was a lady behind us on the bus that was talking. We know her. I can't remember her name now but I did in the dream.

I'm not sure about the chronological order of this dream.

It's a post-apocalyptic setting again, but this time the apocalypse happened very recently; we still don't know how bad it is, and what exactly has changed. I'm walking through a facility set in a warehouse with a man in a lab coat; there's a lot of people running around with files and tablets, making impromptu meeting and talking. It's badly lit, and I feel like I'm underground, even thought I can see a boat on the otherside of the warehouse, ad the light boncing of the waves painting pattern on the ceiling. I overhear a man talking about going to live at sea, on oil-extracting platform. I point out to the man walking with me that thoses platform are limited in space and food, so that's not a viable move. He leads me to a computer and we can see the number of people killed, separated in profession in a kind of spreadsheet. He points the physicians to me, telling that one in forty got killed. The number of killed physicians is two hundreds, and the cell color is orange.
I'm outside now, with a middle aged woman, in an alley between two buildings. It's a very sunny day, the shadows on the orange walls are razor sharp, an the metallic mesh closing one end of the alley is glittering. There's also a grey plastic table against the wall to my left, with a box on it. A man with sunglasses pick something up in the box and put it in his mouth. I sprint to him and kiss him, stealing the thing in the process. It's slightly sweet and chewy, like gum. Now that I'm close I recognize David, and he take another gum; it's small, white and tubular shaped, like a rubber from the end of a mechanical pencil.
We're back inside the warehouse, with the man and David, and we learn that we have to ask for help to some people. I know that they aren't normal human, and I pick a photograph of one of them, telling the crowd that I know him, that I call him Raphael. One of the people ask him how much I know him, and I answer that he likes me in white. We decide that me and David will go looking for him.
We're on a road, in a middle of a forest; I check a map, it seem that we are in Europe, somewhere between Germany and Russia. The sun is high in the sky, but the air is pretty chilly. David got a jeans, hicking boots and a warm coat, but I'm in a white, flowy dress. It cover my arms and go down to the floor, but it's made of a light material, in lots of layers. We've been walking for a long time and I complain that we're running out of road. We finally reach a big building, well integrated into the forest, with big glass walls and dark woods. The door has a steel inlay, and I walk in with David. Inside the floor is carpeted, the wall painted white and with the same dark wood panneling. It has the slightly cushy warm of central heat. I go to the admission desk, letting David sit in one of the armchair overlooking the road. The receptionnist is a small, blond-haired woman with a tight ponytail that brush her neck. She listens to me and talks into her headset before gesturing me to go to the armchair. I give her a smile and turn around, but before I can move Raphael enter the room.
He's a towering, willowy man, crowned with golden curls. He's wearing a long-sleeved light blue t-shirt over a jean and his fingers are stained with paint. He notices me and pulls me off the floor into a bearhug, and I get a good look of his freckled, charming face and light green eyes.
Later, I'm walking into the nearby city with David, the warm of the sun nicely contrasting with the chillness of the air. We're on a very pretty, pedestrian street made of sandstone. David makes me laugh, and I can see from the corner of my eye Raphael, walking with a small group of friends ahead of us turning around and looking for me. David whispers to me that Raphael agree to help because he's infatued with me. I laugh at the idea, but Raphael big smile when he hears my laugh seem telling.


Yeah, Eli does find that there's an awful lot of people loving me recently

I was walking towards a place, via roads. Some were unfamiliar. I was going to Rob's place. I was walking all over the place at first, passing by what seemed like the roads surrounding QC Memorial Circle. Then I arrived at a place that looks familiar: the walls of my elementary school. I walked up the road. I went "inside" somehow. I was looking at a lake or seaside area. It was an illusion created by technology. There were a few people there. I was looking for a shade under the tree. I sat beside them without any of us minding it. Rob texted where I was. I told him near/in front of his house. I then wondered whether I should have texted first that I was heading here since they might be elsewhere.

12.06.15

I worked yesterday, had night off today and tomorrow

I'm told that I can move to an island off of Sweden. It's a manmade island made of wood. I'm under water, coming up to surface. There is lots of seaweed and light is filtered by them. I'm only few feet under the surface. I'm watching the bubbles rise, how the seaweed is moving with the waves and some sea slug on a large leaf. I'm amazed. I come up and see a large rectangular island that looks like a pontoon.

Next I'm on the island and i feel sand under my feet. It's hard to believe that it's all on wood, because sand seems to be deep.

Someone needs to poop, so they squat behind some drift wood. They cover it with showel and sand. I wonder if someone makes a hole next to it and they showel sand on it, if they uncover the old poop 0_0.

I was waiting for a train. I had to cross the tracks to get to the right side and buy tickets. The tracks are just on the ground. There's no fence whatsoever. I rode the train.

We passed by a "Katipunan" area. It's a gated community. We're supposed to go through it but the wooden gates (made of tree trunks) did not open. We had to go around. It's a challenge because we had to put the tracks while we're moving forward. We also had to put them on large(?) wine glasses. Someone (the driver) pointed out that I was brave to be the first/volunteer. I was like, "Eh?" Then I went to the front anyway.

===

Notes:

- I let my mind wander while I try to be "centered" when I went to sleep.
- It took a while before I fell asleep.

11.07.15

sleep 3:45pm-10pm

Finally recall.

I'm somewhere in US with my mom. She says we are going somewhere to see our family. So I buy a plane ticket.

Sitting on an airplane. Window seat. I notice that it's rather comfortable. After you squeeze into your row, the seat itself is larger and more comfy than on other planes. I realize it's because this is a smaller plane.

Somehow I don't know where we are going. We just landed and are taxiing to the airport building. Going under few bridges that look like tunnels. I tell my mom this looks like tunnels in town where we live in europe. Just then I glance a city in the distance and it's New York. I tell her "we are in NY, NY!" Is that where we were going? She says yes, so I'm like cool, I got the right plane ticket.

Some people are getting off, so is my mom. I get up an start walking to the door, but stop to grab a in-flight magazine to learn what type of an airplane this is so I can travel with same one next time. I'm only few seconds behind others, but by the time I get to the door, flight attendant just closed it. I say I'm getting off, so she opens it and I quickly walk out.

There is no airport building, only a dirt field. I look back and there is a chain link fence with small, faded metal sign saying the name of the airport. I'm trying to make it out and remember it. The last part of the name is ...Field.

We walk into some small bar. My mom shows the barkeep a map and asks him how to get to the marked address. It's a crossing of 2 streets. Barkeep writes down few bus line names. A bus arrives outside and leaves. I say there was a bus, but he says we should take a tour bus line, otherwise the bus driver may get mad.

I look at the map. My mom keeps mentioning we need to get to Bonaventura. But the name of 2 cross streets is different. Then I remember that Bonaventura is a name of the building her mom's sister lives. We are going to visit her. I saw the building on the google. It's very nice, with a doorman and all.

2.
We are sitting at the table as guests on come cooking competition. There are 4 kitchens for the competitors. They have teams of 4-5 people. My mom is asking them a lots of questions just to be annoying. I tell her to stop, they need to think what they gonna cook. When she doesn't stop, I walk up to the group of judges and I wait for them to finish evaluating before I tell them about mom. They say it's time to leave anyway. My mom is not happy, but I tell her that guests are allowed to stay only for first half anyway.