Recent DJ Posts

2022 July 4th

Long dream. Left recall a bit late and wasn't sure how to describe some bits. Didn't sleep well.

Fragment:

In the first part I am with H and another couple. We are in some kind of airport place? There's not that many people. I offer to pay for a trip to Germany to the other couple, which might be where they're from. I have some ulterior motive (can't recall what).

(recall gap)

Me and H arrive at some building in a car and then we have to go through some kind of trials and it's a bit like a game? The first notable room I recall is like a theatre hall and a bit of a church. It's kind of low for the type of hall it is. The wood in the hall seems to have a yellow tone like it's all gold leafed. Red curtains.

(recall gap)

Then I'm somewhere else with sibling T. Somewhere more like an industrial complex but on canyons. We try to connect some power things but I'm not sure what they do.

(recall gap)

In a similar kind of canyon area with floating sections and things like that. We are struggling to find the way from one floating section to the underside of an arching canyon. I use a kind of grapple thing and make it. On this small underside ledge, there is a mouth-like opening and clawed tentacles await and look aggressive. I keep myself teetering on the edge and holding on to the rock above with my left hand, using some weapon on my right hand to slowly pick off all the tentacles. My brother doesn't try to jump to the same ledge. After I've killed all the tentacles, I step toward the mouth opening and feel a bit annoyed this is the only way down. I don't particularly feel like getting wet. It looks fleshy at first but as I make my way down its oesophagus the experience seems to become more neon/digital and less accurate.

(recall gap)

In a more abstract place in which we have to run through over these procedural platforms and kill enemies. It feels like a CoD game.

(rest of recall lost)



2022 July 9th

Dream:

I'm outside on a street. I'm cutting down a streetlight post using one of my palette knives. Somehow, I'm managing alright to cut through the thick steel. But as I apply force, eventually the handle gives and breaks off from the blade.

Then I'm indoors at home. I'm asking H to fix the palette knife and saying I need to go back quickly to finish it. I mention that the wires inside could be live and half jokingly H says we could do with the insurance money.

Before that, outside on those same streets. They're not from any waking location. Looks more like from a game. Some house appears and disappears when I look in a certain direction. Before that I'm talking to mom but still in this place. I'm asking her about some hallucinations. She tells me that it could be because of the person I work for(?), inheriting their psychic stresses or something.

Scraps:

Earlier. Something at some kind of hotel place. (from earlier awakening)

V messaged me saying hello on Discord. I reply "Oh, hey" but can't recall anything else.



Notes:
- The oesophageal segment is probably the most memorable part of that dream, as at the time of writing this over a month later it's one of the few bits I can recall clearly, visually. It's also one of few occasions I've had of such nature, I think all of which have only happened in the last few years, despite the fact that themes of "consumption" have always been with me.
-- On spending a bit more time re-reading the dream, some of the rest of visual elements have come back to me. Some of the floating/canyon areas have similarities with some BL biomes.

- I think when I replied to V's message, that dream had ended and I woke up at that time.

2022 May 27th

8:11
Fragment:

Talking to my friend A on Discord, via voice. Eventually, she shows me a handmade skullie she got. It looks simple but nice. She looks a bit like A, H's sister. Then a bit later, she also shows me a handmade handbag, looks knitted. Again kind of simple but also looks good. And finally, she shows me a second handbag, also handmade, apparently by a friend of hers on Etsy. It has a dark tanned leather exterior and a silk-like fabric interior. It looks quite complete and is somewhat amazing really.

Her dad seems to be there too. He's got curly hair and beard, looks kind of slim. I feel a bit bad that I know what they look like, but they don't know what I look like.

Then, I'm there myself, but it's actually more like my old home. Soup is being made by H. He's making a traditional soup but there's no kale in it and I complain a bit.

(rest of recall was lost)

9:30
Fragment:

Half like a police drama. Sometimes I was one of the leading characters, and other times just observing. A man and a woman. (on waking, the format reminded me of Wire in the Blood, but taking place in America)

The female character started off depressed and by the end was very jolly and happy and they lived together as a couple in the end.


2022 May 30th

Disjointed Dream (DFLN):

I'm at Tanaris desert. I'm going around near the town, I think at one point I'm lacking the level for mounts but at another point I do have a mount.

(gap)

I'm in Stratholme, where I'm farming Rivendare for the mount, and it drops twice in a row. I am able to use the mount in the instance.

(gap)

I'm in Russia. Some kind of prisoner exchange is taking place. The prisoner our(?) side is releasing is a soldier, and the Russians are releasing to us a guy who I don't personally really believe deserves to be released anyway. I feel bitter about his release.

When people speak in Russian, I can read subtitles, when I can remember to have my "real time" translator on.

29th August 2021

Some in-line notes/thoughts.

Fragment:

(last part of a dream)

Not sure where I am, some house. H is here and some client of his. There is some upset because of people doing some kind of eBay boycott or slandering. I feel I know exactly why; in Discord, talking to A and G and some other furries, another (dream-generated) furry called "Daster" is mentioned as having made a journal about eBay shenanigans. But reading what Daster said, it seems to read fine actually and it's more like others didn't read it thoroughly and have blown it out of proportion.

(on waking from this, I wondered why I didn't consider this a dreaming situation while dreaming)

Fragment:

(some early dream)

In an old and abandoned building. It's an abandoned nuclear power plant. Me, H and DH (who we were recently introduced to in WL) are here, I think trying to get the power plant working again. Some circuit boards in a control room of sorts seem to be damaged? Other mechanical bits need replacing, overall. DH plays around with one of those chunky armoured cables we saw in A's garage while we were away. DH draws arcs with it and stuff, across some of the control room machinery.

The electric arcs are just barely visible (making me think of X-Ray radiation being at play) and they are long and a very faint but somewhat bright light blue colour. Something happens and an arc strikes all three of us. I feel dizzy at first. Then we all start experiencing psychotropic symptoms. I start to trip, basically. I start seeing colours more vividly and my field of view starts distorting.

Fragment:

I'm with H in a village, it's daytime, either cloudy or sunny. We walk past a house that has some interesting rendering. Then I see there's this huge Viking-like church. I ask H what's it like inside and he says he's never been in. I think earlier we are in a town much like my old home town, but with much taller buildings. I remember being atop one of these buildings at one point (looking down?). Things are trippy at some points, like an Escher painting kind of trippy, with forced perspectives and things like that.

Fragment:

A dream bit with a film noire feel to it but not actually in greyscale. Not sure that I'm even a character at all. Some guys get a mobile call. They're in a busy path by an equally busy canal. New York accents or something? Something stereotypical and period-like anyway. On the phone, they're discussing a paid assassination job. The seeming protagonist is trying to be tactful with the discussion in public, unlike his colleague was when he had a turn on the phone. There's a scene that I think is supposed to be comical or juxtaposing because this heavy and serious discussion passes right in front of a children's choir practising on the canal and as they pass them, the main character alludes to this in a humorous way that "disguises" the assassination conversation as he goes past.

Scraps:

Very vague recall of making an abstract art piece and uploading it semi unfinished.

---

Notes:

- I am not sure why the first dream fragment might have manifested, but probably a mix of worries. I have never encountered anyone by a username of "Daster" and when I looked it up, I couldn't really find anything relating to that dream's content.

- In a more recent dream than in this entry, I had another dream where there was concern over non-visible radiation. I think this is often a sub-conscious worry of sorts, not strictly just about radiation, also about other non-visible agents that might cause harm and that is to say, such things as viruses, something else that has recently appeared in dreaming.

- Strangely, the dreaming for this day seemed to have a "trippy" factor as quite a prominent feature. I don't recall ever having "tripped" in that sense, although I can imagine to some extent what it might be like, but I am not sure what brought this on as a dreaming thing.

- The Viking-like church is probably both a residue of a Minecraft town we'd been building and of an actual church we recently visited that had a similar feel, in some respects.
-- The village area we were in was similar to several different local ones we've been to, for church-related stuff.

16th August 2021

Left recall too long. Some in-line notes.

Scraps:

Some bit that initially takes place underwater but then it becomes more space-like, in a seamless way.

RT messaging me on Discord. (but about what?)

---

17th August 2021

Fragment:

(near the middle of a dream)

I'm in some kind of space station (implied) but it's also like a hotel. A character that looks like Major Kira (DS9) lives here but some other characters she knows are unaware (of the fact that she lives here?). Something fast-paced is taking place.

There was something else relating to me, but details gone.

(some later segment)

Outside at some ruins. It's dusk or something alike. There's a forest, maybe a pine forest. (I'm vaguely reminded of Hunger Games scenery, which I think at the time of this dream I saw MoonageDaydream had mentioned somewhere). I'm in a party group with MoonageDaydream and a random dream character. Moonage is separate from us at first, but then she comes to find us when I spot two solid chests (WoW) and tell the group to roll for the chests. I pass on rolling; I see the random DC's roll in a chat log.

Another three-person group approaches us. They take one of the chests, which I find annoying; I don't think we can do anything about it because they're not hostile. I think we guard the other chest until Moonage arrives, because it would be hers to loot I think. (On waking I realised it would have been a better option to open the chest without auto-looting and keeping it open until she got there)

(When I first spot the chests I think I wonder why I didn't have my treasure finding racial on. And all of this segment took place in first person but with UI elements present.)

10th February 2021

Notes:

Haven't made much effort to recall, though initial recall was decent. Lately I've still been struggling to get up, but managed to get up at quarter past ten today.

Dream vividness has been a bit lower I think, though I can't say with certainty, possibly because I haven't been taking Vitamin B so much after re-reading up on B6's half-life.

Trying to not fall asleep again, my mind became distracted with random drawing ideas for my characters. Part of my issue at the moment seems to be I can't manage to feel compelled to record anything in the morning, possibly made worse by the fact I'm not getting up at what I'd consider a "good time". Partly sunny this morning.

12th February 2021

Fragments:

Bit about Discord. V sends me a message about some video, but the video link isn't on the private message, it's on my server. I think I wonder why he did this.

I check out the video; it shows what I in the dream assume to be his school, a high school? My presence enters the video. In a classroom, there's some kind of exercise about characters drawn on the chalkboard and they resemble Pokemon or something. Recall is too vague.

Another bit, outside in a town or village with H. We're getting in our out of the van. I remember narrow pavement and cobbled roads as well as a certain hilliness; it has a feel of my native country. Something political but entirely fictional happens in this dream segment; recall details are gone.

Talking to an old discord friend
I am on Discord, sad about the fact that a friend left a discord server of friends for reasons I don't know. I then got the idea that I might still have them in my direct message bar. I look and find them. I then talk to them and ask them if they want to come back. And they do. Everyone on the server is happy, but I don't remember what exactly they were saying.

Scene change to all server members standing in my room, apparently. The friend doesn't really feel comfortable with meeting everyone again yet, but they would give it a try. We are then apparently in some freaky ghost house thing, but really, it's more of a ghost world. Various like very demonic things attack us and we often flee. I don't remember any details except that the beginning was many sort of white blankets hung up and it being very tight so that you have to immediately go up a staircase when you get in, which is the only way. There was also like some weird hallway. To the right was some really bright room, maybe an operating room, and in front was darkness. I might have been alone. Then it got brighter behind me and some demon came, it might have been related to Super Mario for some reason. When I started waking up I started realizing that it was a dream and got very sad and frustrated since I miss my friend.

Dream about a dream
I thought that the last dream had ended, and that this was now definitely reality. I was on Discord again, and now found the friend again and wanted to talk to them. But then I started waking up again and was sad to see that this was also a dream.

---

Hm. I had really hoped I'd wake up to see it wasn't a dream. In reality it probably wouldn't really be as easy as talking to them and asking them nicely. I think they had a fight with someone. But maybe I can do it, but I doubt it. It must have been bad if they just left by saying "Bye." Eh, let me stop venting.

I'll class that second dream as a false awakening,

oh, and that ghost mansion was fun.

Last catch up entry for today I think.

23rd June 2020

Fragment:

Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.

---

Notes:
- This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
- In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.

The Mix of Dreams
I am voice chatting with a friend from Slovenia at night. I don't remember what we were saying, but one thing I do remember is that I hear thunder on his end and ask if there's a thunderstorm going on in Slovenia. He happily replied with a yes while my view suddenly looks at the window behind him and a pitch black sky as it panned more to the right.

After this, I am suddenly sitting on the toilet, before after a bit standing up. Everything was normal until I saw a giant turtle hanging from the ceiling, seemingly frozen in time and unable to move, though in the dream I didn't actually think that. I called my mom over from the living room to show her the strange turtle. Then, more stuff seemed to happen in a sort of city, somewhat inspired by a desert-like environment, set in Seattle; at least Seattle according to InFamous: Second Son, though the ocean was replaced by a vast ocean of sand. I was on a car. Then I think I woke up.

Tonights dream.. was FINALLY WEIRD! OH BOY! I missed having dreams like this! all my dreams used to be sooo weird then once i started dream journaling they were sooo normal and boring UGH!! But finally! I have a weird dream Like I normally did!..

So, it started in school, I was just talking with people and stuff and sitting in my chair at my desk, then I went on youtube.. and saw that SOMEONE HACKED MY ACCOUNT AND POSTED CHILD PORN ON IT!!, literally! I was watching some of the videos and it was just really lotioned looking fillipino girls from ages 4 - 8.. they were clothed of course, but then some old guys hand came on and pulled down their pants and stuff, No i'm not a pedophile.. idk why this happened but I'm happy about how weird it is.

after this, I met my partner in real life. we were just standing in the dark outside of these houses. He told me this was his city, that it costed him 170$ and he told me there are 70 people living in it, he called it Spiderman... lol. this city was just one huge cluttered weird house apartment thingy, and it was hard to navigate through. Also, for some reason he was a fat indian and kinda looks like Ajit Pai, when irl hes really white and looks like a emo hipster.

after talking for awhile, I was gonna leave since the conversation was kinda awkward and told him i'd talk to him again on discord, but instead of leaving i got lost then came back, I went to the oven which played songs then it started playing my music playlist then i made sure to pause it on the oven, but it didn't work.

My partner then collapsed to the floor and was dying, really ill or having a seizure, not sure what happened, and i had a cup of water and noticed a bug in it, i tried taking it out then this guy helping him just yelled at me and said ''YOU CARE MORE ABOUT A STUPID BUG THAN YOUR OWN BOYFRIEND??'' And I just quietly said ''I have a phobia of bugs...''

after this, I went on discord and he was online and he was messaging me, his name 'oh yeah, my boy Hivie' [I'm Hivie.] then I started singing My boy by Billie Ellish, the lyrics I sang in the dream was 'My boy, my boy, my boy, don't love me like he promised..' which is really depressing now thinking about it, then I sent the lyrics to him, and sent a really bad animation i made of some neon randomly coloured mammoth lip syncing it BADLY, there was no audio either so I worried he wouldn't be able to tell.

---

My dreams have been gross and painful to record lately, and there's no sign of it stopping, so I might as well write about it. Of course, if you're reading this, the reason it's public is because it's just embarrassing, not something that would actually be bad to share.

I was with my parents. I can't remember what we were doing. We stopped at the pagoda, Pra Pathom Chedi. I walked away from them, stopped, walked to where they were.

I was browsing on my Discord group at some point, difficult to tell if it was a false awakening or not. I haven't been remembering to do reality checks lately. There was some drama and shocking things going on.

I woke up in a completely unfamiliar apartment, next to my internet friends, yet I seem to talk to him through Discord. We cuddled while I discussed my earlier dream. He mentioned that he heard of one of the fucked up things I listed. I can't exactly remember but it was a website called "Corpse Forest", it films porn done on top of mounds of dead bodies found in a forest that people go to suicide.

I woke up. I lapsed back into sleep while trying to do my reality checks, and they tested negative. Then I truly woke up, so that was worrying. I did my reality checks several times to make sure I really am awake this time.