Recent DJ Posts

Ugh, only six good hours of sleep last night. The plan was to do a WBTB. But I could hear jet-lagged family members moving around the kitchen and felt too guilty to sleep in.

I was throwing a tea party/bridal shower and no one showed up. That made me pout, thinking that no one cared enough to show up to my special occasions. But then I went outside and saw that all the cars were lined up and stuck at some sort of barrier. In the meantime, there was all this ice and show building up on the cars. I started going from car to car and wiping ice off the windows with gloved hands. There was a moment of recognition where I asked myself, "Hey, why am I doing this and why am I using my hands to do it?" but I didn't really think about it too much.

18.06.2012

A Bit Too Excited (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


I'm at my old school, walking around, when I see Eddie, an old friend. I get extremely excited as I haven't seen him in a while, and go up to say hi.

I say I try to greet him, a woman intersects us and hugs someone in front of us. We wait for them to finish, before she lives, smiling as if she took as long as possible on purpose.

With so much I want say, everything comes out at once - yet not in coherent sentences. I start new questions half way through the current one, and neither of us can get our words out properly. He jokes about me seeming like I'm on MD (a form of ecstasy). I laugh and wonder to myself if I actually am.

So I had a couple of dreams last night, none lucid. My first one occured within an hour I fell asleep. Just before sleep I repeated "Ill dream about my Apartment."
So I was having a nightmare of some sort, and I ended up waking up in my bed at my Parents house. When I awoke I felt very dark and afraid so I began praying. Then I woke up again at my parents house and I was astonished at my false awakening. This happened maybe one more time, then I finally awoke at my G Gparents house where I am staying.
I had 2 or 3 other dreams, but I have forgotten them.

Alright, so I'm typing this down quite a bit after I woke up, so I probably won't be able to remember as much as I would if I'd typed it immediately after I woke up...

So I was outside in my neighborhood when I saw an american cockroach sitting on my driveway. (Every Friday I volunteer at the zoo and help out with children's camp. I get to hold the hissing cockroach from Madagascar and show it to them. It's the non-flying, non-biting, totally-much-more-cute American cockroach's relative) I get sort of grossed out and continue walking. However, when I look back, the cockroach is following. I think to myself, "It wants to be my pet!" I end up running all around the neighborhood but it keeps up with me. I don't remember how I finally escaped it.

Later, Lupin, Jigen, Goemon (all from Lupin III), and I are standing on a cliff with rock to our right and behind us and ocean to our left, with the only way to go being forward. However, Zenigata (main antagonist of Lupin III/a police officer) and his men have blocked off the path with police cars, and some stand outside the cars aiming their guns at us, and some, including Zenigata, are in the cars but have their upper body out of the window, aiming their guns at us.

We're out of bullets, and we know we need to get past them somehow, so we decide to just charge at them as quickly as we can and pretend to shoot at them with our hands, make gun noises with our mouths, and hope it's convincing enough to intimidate them into not shooting us. They ducked for a moment, but upon realizing we didn't actually have any guns, they started shooting at us. I decided that I would rather jump off a cliff than get shot, and somehow I knew that the dream was more like a video game than real life, and if we all died, we'd just respawn back to where we originally were, so I went ahead and jumped off the cliff.

Later I was some sort of adult male scientist who had created a small minivan/submarine. A family of four tested it out in a pool and it seemed to work well, but their teenage boy was really sarcastic and rude about everything.

I haven't posted in a while.
It's kinda difficult to find the time to do so with my current health issues. (It's nothing too serious I think, but it impedes me from doing activities that require a decent amount of brain power)
The few moments where I feel alright and I'm motivated to write, I spend it trying to somehow finish my masters thesis in time.
It's quite frustrating to know that it is going to take some more time until this will be resolved, because apparently it's perfectly normal to have to wait 10 weeks to get an mri done in this country. :/
Then again, we got fantastic healthcare, so I shouldn't complain.

Anyways, I don't really have the motivation to properly write down things that have happened in relation to the Templar story arc, but I figured I'd at least post something.
Something that is much easier to write.
So here's a random dream from last night which I thought was really cool, though I now realize that I'm going to have a hard time explaining why.
It's weird how that works, sometimes a seemingly normal event can be very emotional in dreams.



I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, when I notice that something is off with the lighting.
Normally my room is really dark at night, there's a few very faint green and blue lights from a switch and a file server in the room, but that's about it.
You really have to navigate the room by memories (if you don't turn the lights on), because it is too dark to make out anything.
But for some reason I can distinguish everything clearly, even though it's all pitch black.
What a contrast!

Fortunately I know this look very well.
Dark dreams! In my dreams darkness is usually compensated by a ludicrous amount of contrast, so I can see very clearly, even though it is really dark.
It is rather astonishing how many shades of black there really are, and how easily they can be distinguished if you aren't limited by the human eye.

I get out of bed and start exploring the house.
I don't bother thinking about my current situation or dream stabilization because I'm under the impression that I'm fully lucid.
This is however not the case.
I'm not thinking clearly, as I would in a "fully" lucid dream.
Yes, I'm aware that this is a dream, but I'm not thinking about doing cool stuff. No epiphanies or anything.
Just a mindless zombie strolling through the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.

Once I am downstairs I notice that the scenery outside has changed rather dramatically.
This is not where my house is in waking life at all!
I go outside to explore more, and find that my house is now placed right next to a rather large lake.
It is perfectly still and reflects the sky like a flawless mirror.


Cool!
I start walking over it, something I often do in dreams.
Walking on water is really pleasant, if you do it barefoot that is.
The water is really cold and I get chills up my spine during my first few steps.

The sky is cloudless. It is perfect! There is no light pollution whatsoever. What a sight!
But then I realize that I'm not really lucid.
Or rather, I realize that I'm not thinking.
Exploring your own thoughts is an amazing thing to do in dreams, and has become my favorite way of stabilization.
If you're thinking clearly, dreams receive a huge boost in stability.
It's also a good way to calm down if you are easily excited.

Anyways, after some thinking I feel like I've gotten my brain to work adequately.
But oddly enough I'm not in the mood to leave this place, even though I am now fully aware that I can.
There is something very special about this scenery, and I'd like to stay for a bit longer.

I take off my t-shirt, noticing that it's a bit odd that I'm wearing one.
I never wear shirts to bed, especially not in the summer.
I lie down on my back.

It feels sooo good. My back touches the extremely cold water surface, which carries me easily.
I feel very floaty and stretch out my arms.

But even though this sensation is very enjoyable, blissful even, I cannot help but feel sad.
Because in this sky I can see so many stars.
Billions of them. And beyond them are billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars each.
And I'm here, on this rather insignificant piece of rock: planet earth.
Insignificant. That's really all I can think off.
In comparison to the size of planet earth we have explored less than a single grain of sand.
I feel alone. I feel stuck. I want to leave this planet.

I stretch my right arm out and grab onto the stars in my field of vision with my hand.
It's odd how I feel compelled to make this gesture even though nobody can see it but myself.
I want to go there one day. I want to go within my lifetime.
I want to explore this seemingly endless space.
But I realize that I have most likely been born too soon.
Why could I not have been born later, in an age where we are space explorers?

...

Well, that is just fucking depressing.
What is wrong with me?
I'm dreaming. It's all about experiencing the unimaginable. It's about having fun.
Yet here I lie, acting all melancholic.


But then one of the stars becomes slightly brighter.
For some reason I know that this is a super massive star that has just reached the end of its lifetime.
Its core has collapsed, releasing a massive shock-wave. A supernova!
During its lifetime it has fused hydrogen into heavier elements.
Helium, Lithium, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen and many more.
And now, as its final act it is launching all of it into the vastness of space.

But these elements will inevitably find others. They will attract each other and slowly but surely clump together.
Some of them will turn into planets over the course of millions of years.
And with a lot of chance, one of these planets will be at a certain distance from a sun.
Maybe another smaller body will orbit it. A moon.
And maybe, if everything goes right, some of the elements this planet consists of will combine in a certain way.
And then there will be life... there will be another earth.
Because that's what life is.
That is what we are.
We are all made from stardust, forged within the cores of super massive stars.

And that is a really beautiful thought.
Because even though we might appear insignificant compared to the vast size of the universe...
we are special!
I mean seriously. What are the fucking odds?

And that makes me feel really great and I cannot help but smile.

Some sort of zombie attack. We were in an old building. There were slow zombies. But they easily adapt to problems, until they became fast zombies, and even climbing zombies. Eventually, almost everyone were zombies, including some characters from D.Grayman.

The rest of us tried to avoid them as much as we can. Until we reached a boat run by Japanese soldiers and scientists. It seems they have discovered that the zombies can't bend down from their waist, so they partially closed the upper part of the boat/jeep that we were going to ride.

It's started to close for real, so we ran for it. My friends and I made it. We were able to escape to other places where there were none or at least fewer zombies.

One day, I was walking and found a "zombie escape hatch." It's basically a huge pipe that can fit a human body, twisting all over inside and below a building, with enough handles to climb or hang on to.

But they weren't made for climbing. They're elaborate traps against zombies, but only those who are acrobatic or athletic enough can pass through it. Zombies will basically get ripped to shreds trying to chase a person through it. I tried it out, and I "acrobated" my way into the inner area.

While doing so, I heard the voice of an old lady, who I suspected was a zombie. I thought it's a good way to find out if this works. Then I saw her inside. She actually made it through that maze-pipe trap. But she wasn't able to jump off the last part. She said something like she can't survive the fall. Then a guy entered the scene. She called the old lady grandma, but he's a living human. He has long, white hair, reaching some way below the shoulders, and a light, silvery clothing. It's kinda anime-ish, but he looks "real," and a Caucasian.

Havent Found time this weekend to write down my dreams but i did manage to keep some in my head.

I had a dream in which i was a leader of some sort or a person of high importance in what seemed to be the Roman Era but i recall their were buildings and streets of the modern world. I remember a scene in which i was in my office with a bunch of guards around me. This blonde haired women from the show Spartacus comes bursting in my office with what seemed like the intention of killing me so i order my guards to attack by pointing at her (This whole sequence did not have sound to me and it all happened in a slow motion fashion). My dream skipped to another scene where the blonde woman was walking on a sidewalk with unknown buildings around her. She had a sword with her and a few men. I was a few yards away when I witness her yell "How dare you attempt to take my life!" to the guards that accompanied me during the office scene. Next thing i see is her impaling a kneeling guard in the neck instantly killing him and when she starts walking away i woke up.

I had another dream in which i recall as fragments now but it started out with me trying to hit on a very attractive girl. From what i remember i felt i was getting it in with her very nicely when all of a sudden this girl named Nicole pops up with a baby in her belly. This was scary for me since i have had sexual relations with her and having a kid right now is not part of my agenda. I awoke a few seconds after seeing her and her pregnant belly. I should talk to her and see hows shes been, i pray she doesnt mention any baby.

I know, I know. I haven't posted in forever!! I have really gotta start keeping up with this. I'm just so lazy. This is the first entry in like two months or so.
While editing the lucid/non lucid colors in this it took me awhile to figure out which one was green. I had no trouble with that in the past.. I wonder if my colorblindness is getting worse, if that's even possible haha.

I was rollerblading outside my house when I bumped into an old friend of mine, who was also on her rollerblades. We started talking a bit and then decided to go rollerblading together. We had a blast, going through our neighborhood doing tricks and turns and showing off. To my surprise, she was actually better than me. My mother and sister decided to join us walking while me and my friend skated. I told them it sure was nice to be able to rollerblade with someone at my skill level since none of my other friends can skate at all. So we just had a dandy fun time rollerblading along and it was so fun it almost felt like flying. At some point, I realized that I must be dreaming because I know this wouldn't happen in real life. Even though it felt so amazing, I didn't care that it was just a dream at the time because I was lost in the moment. BO's "My Never" played in my head throughout the rest of the dream. She started doing a cool foot-point-turn-spin thingy that people do in dance and I thought it was so cool so I asked her to show me. I tried this in real life and failed but since I was in a dream I thought I would have more luck, so I tried it. It didn't turn out that great, but better than last time. At the end of our rollerblading journal, I must have lost lucidity because we decided to exchange numbers. I couldn't seem to work my damn phone with a touch screen(even though in real life it's just a regular old phone) and so I ended up giving her my number instead. And that was it.

I've woke up this morning, well at least I thought I did. I was in the dream and I did a Reality Check, I did the Nose Pinch Reality Check and I was looking around my surroundings, the room looked pretty ood, but the atmosphere felt great. In the dream I finally knew I was dreaming. So I became lucid but I forgot to stabilize the dream. I suddenly saw some huge big lips with lip stick on my face. I was thinking. WOAH Somethings wrong with this picture, I was too freaked out when I figured out what I've saw. So I have woke up after I noticed this weird experience I have seen after the air conditioner kicked on in my bedroom.

June 18, 2012

Backyard Hideout

It's a late summer night and me and my comrades are hiding in someone's backyard. Of all the places to hide were hiding in the backyard of our enemy. We tip-toed from hiding spot to hiding spot with careful steps like a herd of deer.

The enemy found us and we use magic to hold him off while others escaped.

Eventually I became lightly lucid and get the idea I should just ditch this dream for another. The back fence had two doors. I open the first. It's a sunlit world of giant fierce elephant-gorilla creatures who were simply relaxing by the rocky cliffs. They looked too fierce to join! In the dream I knew them by name, but now I've forgotten what I called them.

I opened the next door and its a bunch of hippies sitting by a camp fire making music. Great! I tell all of my hiding comrades that I've found us a new home.

"wheres my drum?"

My friends try to find it for me but all we could find in the backyard were pots and pans and other odd things. Well, whatever works. We close the door, leaving the other dream. We bang on our pots and pans but we've got no rhythm.

I don't remember anything.

Oh well.



I love this woman.

I was at my house when my mom forced me to ride my bike. I started riding next to this girl. She was from modern family, the daughter of the gay guys but more mature. We went riding for an hour and we talked but i don't remember about what. She was kinda ghostly, she would say things kinda slowly and she would threaten me if i did something wrong. When i went back home she went somewhere else. I went to my neighbor's house, but they were the staff of the youtube channel of 5secondfilms. they were talking but they didn't care if i went into their house. their furniture was in the shape as my grandfather's house is but with our furniture. When i got out of their house i saw the girl again waiting for me to ride again. This time i rode into a place where i had went into another dream. I was in the country where the bus crashed in my dream "New York Dream". We kept riding then i saw a mouse then i woke up.

I had this dream during a nap on June 17, 2012

I was somewhere colder-- there were pine trees all around. We were at a bay. I had been here before, in another dream. We were walking along the piers and I saw orcas swimming in the surf. The water was dark and blue. Cold.

However, we then decided to go in to the water. Somehow, I could breath/hold my breath under water. My uncle T was there and other individuals. We were traveling alongside the ocean floor. There were many sharks. We had to swim around them. As the water was cold, they were slow and seemed sluggish. They were swimming in groups. Someone got attacked by one and we just shook our heads and kept swimming alongside the ocean floor. We were almost walking, it seemed.

We reached a structure under water, like old ruins. We entered and we avoided some sharks. It almost seemed like a video game. You 'successfully completed' each room/corridor. We then got to a corridor and I was the first to try to enter. I looked up (as we would acsend the structure) and there was a large jellyfish. I immediately backed up and tried to yell to the others that there was a jellyfish there.

Everytime I opened my mouth to talk, I found myself losing oxygen and drinking in water. I was drowning and trying to mouth "JELLYFISH' to my dad, that was there. I kept choking on the water.

I woke up choking, unable to breath.

Dream One: I'm at the grocery store, and there's a jerky aisle! Like a whole aisle full of jerky. I freaking LOVE jerky, but for the last year or so meat has tended to make me sick Of course being a dream I didn't think about this, and I found some pork jerky or something and wanted to try it. So for whatever reason I break a piece off and taste it. Then I notice, after I swallow that the package says it needs to be cooked. Ooops. I hope I didn't just make myself sick. Then I see some little weenie shaped jerkys, on closer inspection the package actually says "Hot dog jerky" and I decide to buy some for my kids to try, they love hotdogs. Then the neighbors kids are there, and they're saying, "Dude! Hog dog jerky! I want some!" SO I buy them some too, and I buy myself some pickled sausages (it's been years since I've been able to eat those, lol) I drive home, and not only MY kids are in the car with me, but the neighbors kids too Then I park the car and get out and start to open my pickled sausage, and my husband complains that I parked wrong, so I give him the keys and tell him to repark it if he doesn't like it. He does, but the neighbors kids want to ride in the car with my husband driving, so the one neighbor kid hands me his jerky, and I start eating it forgetting that it wasn't mine. Then I have to apologize when they get the car parked. I woke up mid apology.

Dream Two: I was going outside to get in my car, but I can't find my car. It's not parked where it should it! I'm walking all over the yard looking for it, and I can't find it. Then OTHER (different set of neighbors from first dream) neighbor steps out with his youngest and they're going to get in their van, but when they notice me walking around looking lost. They stop to help me find my car, and eventually we find it parked in the middle of the turn around in the road. It should have been obvious from the start though. Dream Logic. Then a car comes flying down the road, it's the neighbors oldest son. He and the other other neighbors son are apparently fixing up a car to drive when they get their licenses.

Dream Three: We're at McDonalds, my husband kids, and I. First we need to go through the drive through, and there's a long line. So my husband says the lines too long and he wants to wait. But then the line is empty and he still won't pull forwards into the drive through lane! Then a car pulls into it and there's a line again. I make him line up, and then he drives the wrong way and ends up behind the building instead of in the drive through. Then when we finally make it to the drive through window, he orders half our food, then stats driving forwards because their menu is placed AFTER the window instead of before, and the lady thinks we're done ordering and starts taking the order of the person behind us. I get angry and jump out of the car and tell my husband he has three seconds to tell me what he wants or he's not eating! Then I walk back to the window and tell her I wasn't finished with our order and give her the rest of the order. Then we're told to pull around and wait. Finally when our food is ready, we go inside to eat it, lol. Then they're having a trivia contest for the little kids and they're asking star wards and Indiana Jones questions, so my son is all over it! He ends up winning a thousand dollar scholarship. I think we should come to every trivia night at McDonalds to see if he can pay his way through college in scholarships, lol. Then I wake up.

Dream Four (DILD!):The dream starts off on the shore of the river at the cabin my dads family owns. Somehow though, it's an island. I'm with a man and his family of like 4 kids. We're trying to build a fire, but the wind is blowing too hard and keeps blowing the fire out before we can really get it started. A little 10 year old boy in glasses tries to build a wind shield out of a sheet, and it ends up acting as a sail and carrying all the wood off into the river -_- The oldest kid doesn't even look like a kid, more like in his early twenties, but definitely not my age yet. He's got long hair and looks a lot like Johnny Depp:

(totally took that from a facebook page of a fan club, so hoping it shows up, lol.
Anyways, he takes his shirt off and runs into the river to retrieve the wood. I follow to help him drag it in because it looks heavy, but he'd able to bring it all in without my help . Then when we get back to shore, he asks his dad what happened to Molly. TUrns out Molly is a little girl around 5, and she's fallen asleep and they've put her inside some wagon and the other kids were taking her up to the cabin to bed. So the Johnny Depp guy goes up to the cabin too, and I stay down with the dad trying to figure out how to build the camp fire. Then I get this great idea. I can transmute some wood into a shape that will block the window but be heavy enough to to blow off! I start looking around for dry wood, and then step on something warm and round. At first I think it's a snake, then I realize it's just a water hose. I tell myself I shouldn't think of it being a snake or it might turn into one. Then the dad suggests I get the kids to help me look for wood, and I think that's a good idea and go up the hill. I see some pretty flowers on the hill, and i stop to admire them. There's a rose like flower that's got pink on the ends of the petals, and a creamy pale orange color in the center. The petals fall off when I touch it though. So I move on to the next flower, a pretty purple flower that's shaped like a daylily, but it has yellow and white streaks running up and down the petals. I think to myself I should take a picture with my phone, but then realize that'd be silly because it won't come out of the dream into waking life. That's when I stop and say, "That's right! I'm in a lucid dream! I can't let the dream suck me in!" And then I'm lucid No need to reality check, I just KNOW. At first I think I'm going to go inside the cabin and try to walk through the wall to find Kurasawa. Then I stop myself and remind myself that I want to practice my dream control because once I'm good at controlling my dreams I'll not struggle so much to find Kurasawa. It's better to practice I think, than waste dream after dream chasing after him and having my efforts be blocked by my lack of control. So I think back on my goals, and remember that the small goal I've set for myself and been reminding myself of before sleeping at night is to grow cat ears and a tail. So I Imagine that I have ears and a tail and I can feel them. I never physically touched them to be sure they were there, but I just KNEW they were... and I swished my tail a few times and felt the wind whip around it so I am very sure I succeeded. Then I remember the guy who looks like Johnny Depp inside, and the whole thing with getting the kids to find wood. So I walk inside and start telling all the little DC kids to go gather wood with their dads so I can transmute it like Edward Elric. The kids all run out the door to do as I asked, and I make my way into the room with all the beds and sleeping bags where the Johnny Depp guy is. He doesn't look like Johnny Depp anymore, he's short and hefty with glasses, and now looks very Asian. Time to practice more control! I close my eyes and imagine him looking like Johnny Depp and being a head taller than me. Suddenly I feel his hand on my back, and he dips me back and starts kissing me, then making out with me. My eyes are still closed though, lol. Then he starts scraping his tongue against my teeth and drooling in my mouth. YUCK! I push him off me, and he looks like Johnny Depp alright, but he's totally dumb and still sticking his tongue in and out of his mouth like he's still kissing me. I think to myself Dream Characters really ARE stupid, I'm not doing this again. Then my phone goes off and wakes me up!

Funny one this morning, but interesting all the same.
I dreamed I was sleeping on the fold out bed back at my parents' house. It was a sleepy, rainy morning. My old friend Luke, the rock vocalist, was there with me. We wanted to make love, so I got up to shut the door. I was unable to shut it quietly (which is pretty true to waking life), so my mom heard me and nobody's dummy, knew what we were up to.
So Luke and I got up and headed outside to the garden potting shed (which my parents do not have in waking life). It had been raining, and everything was soaking wet. There wasn't even a place to sit. After looking around and realizing this was not going to work, we went to the barn (also something my parents do not have in waking life).
We figured the loft would be nice and dry and cozy. We climbed up into the hay and were just getting started when my mom came wandering in! Sheesh. We quickly dressed again and tried to be quiet hoping she wouldn't notice us up in the loft. And that's where the dream ended. Wonder what that one meant? Maybe my brain was just rehashing what Luke had told me years back about doing a girl in a barn and liking it? Strange, I hadn't thought about him in a long time. Maybe my brain just wanted to have some fun, but mother figure always stifled fun.