All DJ Entries

I’m lying with Melissa in our bed. The setting feels exactly similar to our bedroom in real life. It seems like nighttime, though it’s not very dark in here. It’s a dim lighting that’s not suggestive of any particular time. She’s on my left and I reach my hand over to rest it on her lower stomach. There is a slight, firm bump. I ask her what it is and she responds that she’s pregnant. I respond that I’m not ready for that, but she makes it seem like it was planned. Again, I did not think that was the case. There is a sense of helplessness that things will be proceeding in a way that I don’t want and am not ready for.

I am with Melissa and Stella in my Subaru, parked somewhere. A police officer? approaches me on the driver’s side. I think he’s in uniform, though it’s a simple one that, to me, indicates a high rank. It also seems like he may not be on duty but is just approaching in a friendly manner because he sees Stella. Stella crawls over me to approach him as well. He has short ginger hair and a calm energy. He extends his hand to her to let her sniff her. This she does, as well as some protective growling and barking. He remains calm and I can tell that she responds positively - she continues some growling but with a wagging tail.

I am somewhere outside, on a walk. The place looks familiar (from another dream?). I’m coming up a slight hill to a smaller river. I think I usually go to the right but I veer to the left this time. There’s a sense of happiness at doing something new. I also have Stella with me. Some or all of this water is frozen solid and she and I walk on it.

*I was with Dad yesterday and we were talking about how the pond here froze over.

I’m in some department store, looking for a new coat. The store seems small, cramped, and dim. It also seems like there are only coats on the racks. There are several people in here, only some wearing a mask. I don’t think I am. I run my hand over a coat that catches my eye and notice it’s $80-90. Thinking that’s a bit much, especially because I think that’s a sale price, I rethink how much I really need a new one. Now I’m in a different store - the outside looks like a CVS and the inside looks like a cross between that and more of a department store. I think I’m with Mom and Makayla. There’s an employee inside the entrance with a handful of masks, but no one in here is wearing one. There is a sense of things being ‘back to normal.’ I think I’ve come here for a pedicure and something else. Now I’m about to enter one more store. Kelli and Carl are with me. It’s the first time I’ve seen them in a while and I’m not sure if they’re going to wear a mask into the store - it feels awkward not to if they’re going to - but none of us do.

I am with Melissa in some building. I can’t tell if it seems more like a casino or a huge apartment building. I think we’re trying to go up a floor or two and end up taking a staircase that actually takes us lower. At some point, the staircase opens to an area with half a dozen or more staircases. It seems they’re leading in all different directions. We end up on what must be the ground level and then outside on a sidewalk. I was briefly thinking about what it was like for the architect to design all those staircases in that one space.

I am climbing on some rock formation. It seems really small. I can’t tell how high up I am - it seems like there’s a patch of ground off to the side but like it’s still at a high elevation. Danielle from work is on this ledge. I’m trying to find a good grip and a small chunk of the stone comes loose. I take it and want to pass it to her but she’s just out of reach. I don’t really want to throw it down to the ledge but I gently do and it lands okay.

I am somewhere, in a kitchen it looks like, and eating what looks like one of the Oreo ball desserts that Melissa makes. I’ve either torn it apart or have only taken a small bite. The thought then crosses my mind that this is an edible, and I start to wonder/worry if I’ve eaten too much. Now, I’m sitting in some unfamiliar living room, in front of a TV. The edible is kicking in; it’s noticeable but not overpowering.

I am either at a concert or watching a recording of one. I seem to be extremely close to the small stage, with a point of view a bit taller than I really am. I think it’s the Jerry Garcia Band playing, though I can only see Jerry on the dim stage. He looks like an early 70s Jerry right now and in the next moment he looks like a 90s Jerry. This makes me wonder if this is a recording or some kind of psychedelic experience (i.e. me just hallucinating his earlier appearance). He sings and fumbles with some lyrics but returns to the right words with a grin. He’s now singing Friend of the Devil and does the same thing. Someone in the crowd starts singing the wrong verse - Jerry confidently sings the correct one and then says “nice try.”



I am in an airport or other large, public place. I need to find a bathroom and end up walking into one (there are no walls or signs or anything). This space is slightly raised and features a dozen or more circular booth tables. Walking closer, I see that they are not tables but an almost full circle or urinals. There are so many of them and it’s so empty in here that it's almost both peaceful and overwhelming. I pick one that seems to be slightly off to the side in case someone else shows up.



I am getting on a bus. The driver, a lady with a perfectly relaxed and peaceful energy, stops me on the way in to give me what looks like a stamp or a blotter. She has a small stack of them and picks one out for me. It features a tiny psychedelic design, what looks like space or just a stellar design. This bus is smaller and has been converted. Melissa is with me and we sit on its floor, against some pillows. The energy here is also incredibly peaceful and relaxed.

Another lucid, another entry.

I awoke in the middle of the night. Usually, I go about it by getting out of my bed, maybe drinking some water, and going back to bed to do the attempt. This time though, I didn't really feel like doing all of that. I decided to try something new. I'm sure you've felt very drowsy after waking up; so drowsy that you can barely open your eyes and have to try really hard to do so. I was in this state. I resolved to at least fully open my eyes, since I wasn't going to get up. Turns out, that was the perfect amount of awareness I needed. The moment my eyes were fully open, I laid down and closed them again. I did my relaxation breaths, and began saying my mantra. Almost immediately, I was going into a dream. If you guys have ever seen the new Moon Knight show, then the transition from wakefulness to dreaming was like when the main character blacks out.

The dream, like the last 7, was less than ideal. After I got up, it was so real that I had to check to see if I was dreaming. I kicked a nearby radiator, and I didn't feel any pain. Right now I'm unable to describe it well. It was vivid, but also not vivid. I still did not feel like I was fully in the dream world, but the dream world itself was clear.

So, I recalled back to when I kept reading these stories where people just shout "Stabilize" or something like that and it works. I thought stabilization was based on sensory input so I wasn't really sure it would work, but I was open to the possibility since anything is possible within a dream. So, last night, I tried something similar. I said, "Ok, Dream. When I snap my fingers, I want you to stabilize. I want this dream to be as clear and as Vivid as possible, OK? 3,2,1..." I snapped, and nothing changed. I snapped again, and still nothing. The dream ended shorty thereafter.

For reasons I don't think I've made clear here, I think i'm rushing. It used to be because I was racing to try and stabilize the dream before it ended, of course to no avail. I'm rushing now because I just want to get it over with so I can do cool things in my dream. I've got to take it much slower than I am, I think.

Still, it is kind of frustrating. I have problems with dream control despite believing in myself. I thought that was all you needed. Even once I got past the stabilization hurdle, I want to summon something, but I've never been able to do it. I've controlled the dream before. In a lucid a while back, I was flying. After I landed, I couldn't summon anything. In my first lucid ever, I tried to summon something but again, nothing worked. It seems like that action in particular is where I'm having problems, but to be fair, I haven't tried much else. The only other thing is stabilization, but is that dream control or just stimulating my senses? I guess now that I think of it, I don't really know what it means to stabilize. I guess it means to stimulate as many senses as possible to boost your presence in the dream.

Well in any case, commanding the dream to stabilize didn't work last night, so I guess I'll try touching stuff and rubbing my hands together. Maybe I'll stretch or spin around. I wonder if exercise works. Anyway, after that, I'll try and find a dream character so I can talk to my subconscious about where my mental block is. Maybe then I can finally get some dream control. I should probably take my time too; maybe then I'll actually get a dream that lasts longer than 2 minutes.

I think I have to treat this as the beginning of my journey. I'm getting frustrated because I've been at this for years now, but It's only the last 3 months where I've actually learned anything. It was then that WILD finally clicked for me, and I was able to use it to get consistent Lucid dreams. Maybe acting as if I only started learning how to lucid dream 3 months ago will help reduce frustration.

**As for the blue guy that showed up to make me lucid a couple weeks ago, (I named him Azure) He has yet to appear since then. Sad

2022 May 8th

Fragment:

Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

(recall gap)

Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

(recall gap)

Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

Notes:

- The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

- I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
-- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

- The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

- Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.

Explanation: A dream map is an interconnecting map detailing places you've been to or seen in your dreams, lucid or not. If a line connects two places, they are connected, if not they are not. Question marks depict a recall gap. I got the idea for a dream map from a certain thread on Uboachan's yume board. It's very fun seeing how your dreams connect to one another and helps you remember the landscapes so you may go back to them later and explore more.

The first through third editions of my dream map are nothing special. So I'm starting here on the most recent fourth.

Attached Thumbnails

 

2022 May 7th

8:20
Dream:

I'm on WoW, I'm playing as a human paladin, by the gear probably level 30ish. Model is vanilla style. I'm with a female caster, a night elf or a human, I think it changes. We're part of the same guild, one which I just joined very recently and we're doing a quest together. This is an alt for her, but this is a main for me. She has a mechanical squirrel mount. She's the same level or a bit higher and her character seems more life-like and "flowing" in terms of animations.

There's another player nearby from the guild who is at max level. The quest me and the caster are doing requires killing an NPC that is scripted to put a certain buff on us, but I kill the NPC too fast at first. I think I apologise and get the feeling she may be annoyed by the fact I killed it too fast. A random player of a similar level appears and joins us for the quest. We do the thing properly this time and then this player leaves us again. Neither of us lost much health and I sufficiently use a holy light rank one to heal her. I think about how I wish I had flash of light.

She quickly goes to duel the max level guildie nearby and gets very low HP, so I use some current-rank holy light casts on her. I think she's amused by all of this. She says she's spoken to management and I've been cleared (DRG intrusion) for "dungeon proc ID". I'm not sure what this means but can guess, I tell her. She tells me that she can see the raw data and where ores/herbs spawn and such like.

Earlier. I'm with other guild members in a large communal bed thing, about seven of us I think? We're all supposedly trying to sleep. And at the foot-end of the bed there's player information, like there would be in the guild roster, but physical. I'm next to all the other paladins, I see, and many of whom are level 70, max level I think. I'm a noob in the guild. The guild has been around for seven years, I think to myself, and then I spot this paladin who's been here for five years and several months, being one of the oldest members who's still around.

Even earlier. Something about an adventure and a town on water and natives or something. (Was not interested enough to write down recall and too tired.)

10:00
Fragment:

Another WoW dream. Something about being a rogue. I'm in a forest not unlike Feralas and there are tall mountain sides near where I am. Again, something to do with a guild and a quest. I remember looking through or into a tree trunk of a large tree?

9th
Notes:

- These dreams have two primary meanings that I'm seeing currently; one part is a sense of nostalgia for what playing the game was like, while the other part is the currently recurring collective aspect to my dreams lately.

(Need to make further notes on this but am unable to concentrate enough at present)

2022 May 3rd

Dream:

I'm somewhere with H, at or near some kind of compound. His dad or a friend of his dad's is around too. There's something about precious stones in the compound, they spawn at random and in areas inhabited by some unusual creatures. It's not a nature reserve or anything like that, it's more like it's been abandoned despite still being apparently owned by someone. One of these strange creatures is a cat thing, the size of a dog and with more legs. It wants scratches but I'm wary of it, as it also wants to escape if given a chance, so I'm mindful about the door and my position. I consider that these animals may all be dangerous.

I find one of the stones nearby and I leave. I somehow know it's worth 100K or so. I tell H and I feel proud and relieved, since it will be a huge help to us. I think to myself that we should make sure people aren't needlessly making this place known publicly or we won't even get a chance to get some more stones when we need the money.

Later, a group of people who had also been getting gemstones is near an exit area. One of the people in the group is D, old school friend. Most of them seem a bit greedy, having hoarded many stones, rather than just getting one or two. I say to them that I can't see why they can't be more reasonable, and that I would always try to compromise when possible.

(recall gap)

Some other bit, also in some complex?


2022 May 4th

Dream:

(Left recall a bit late)

I'm at home with H. We go into the kitchen to do something. We're naked? I open the blinds and see a bunch of the neighbourhood kids out the back, some on the walls, others in the yard itself. (Quick note, this actually happened four days later, on the 8th)

We motion from inside for them to get out and such, and then we go out a side door from the kitchen to the back, where the heart should have been. I lose track of H. In the yard, I see that some of the kids look a bit miserable, they're stuck in here by accident and I now feel sorry for them, and less upset about the fact they're here.

Then, the back wall changes when I'm not paying attention. It's a cut-down wooden fence and I see loads of people around, playing around, having BBQs and so on. To my right, I see that we're on a sort of large plateau area and there are new apartment buildings in this area, some still being built. About twenty story high each. One has a green-ish and white colour scheme going. It's no wonder there are so many people here, I now feel. I feel annoyed and get into a sort of argument with a random woman, I think she was someone from school. As a character, I express confusion at all this and feel neglected. I ask why they built all this, why didn't the local authority let us know about any of it? And so on. I get unsatisfactory replies and just feel more and more frustrated.

Later. At a supermarket inside a larger mall. (Like one in A but bigger) Initially I'm with H but then we split up because I need to go swap some pasta cheese ice cream thing. It looks like it has a blue cheese in it. Then, that woman from before again, she shows me some chocolate ice cream like knock-off Magnums. I try a sample or something, and so does she.

I dreamt about a price-gouging resort that had a bunch of computers, it also had its own currency (like "limbra pounds", "l£") eventually after getting into a spat about fall damage with the owner, I started a revolution and riot with the unhappy guests. There was also a lot of computers lying about, a lot of them had old windows 95 games on them. There was also one of my friends being possesed by a shapeshifting reptillian, and a vending machine that dispensed old grape fanta that had a promotion from the 2000s on them.

I also dreamt about Deltarune, there was a "Mirror" universe everyone found themselves in. Everything was flipped, and after the party found themselves in trouble, they found Frisk, who appeared to be able to shapeshift in and out of a goat form, as well as conjure objects.

I also remember taking a shopping cart from one world to another, and seeing alternate versions of my family.

I was basically reliving the years when my mom had dad had just divorced and I lived alone with dad. We barely talked. He had a new girlfriend (black girl, kind of cute) almost immediately, which I despised. He called me down for dinner, but when I got there he just placed two plates for him and his GF, and ignored me completely as if I wasn't even there. I said, "fine, if it's going to be like this, I'm headed back upstairs". I did. At some point, while heading downstairs for dinner, I came across some pretty deep water. I decided to try and walk on water by running really quickly. It worked, I only sank an inch of so into the water, but made it across.

In the next dream I was with a girl, engaging in some foot fetishist sex. She enjoyed it.