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I dreamed I was in school, as in college. But it was a weird school and I forgot quite what class I was taking. And I had an assignment to go pick a certain type of plant that grew wild in the area(the 'school' itself was a cabin somewhere I think I had classmates but I don't remember them well).
So I went out to pick the plants, but the as I drove up to the field I was going to take them from, I saw that a storm was coming. The sky got darker and darker and I saw streaks of lightning. I wasn't lucid but I was aware enough to know that I, picking the plants in that field, would be the tallest object around and that was dangerous. So I shot a quick video on my phone showing the sky and lightning and explaining that would not be completing the assignment on time(it was due that evening for some reason) because it just wasn't safe.
Back at the school, I showed the video as evidence to the teacher, who said I could it later, no problem. A classmate who had gone somewhere else to pick the plants gave hers to the teacher. I wandered away to play with a small dog on the cabin's porch.
---
Cut to me at my retail job. I was still somehow in the cabin but it looked a little more like a storefront now. I went to the register to ring a guy up. I forgot what he was buying aside from a magazine. The guy was friendly and quite good-looking and I was talking to him, I forget about what. Then I noticed that the magazine was called Transmasc, short for trans masculine. So am I. I wanted to strike up a conversation based on that, but I wasn't out in the dream just like in real life, so I kept quiet within earshot of my coworkers. For the last few seconds of the dream, after the guy had left, I was staring at the magazine display and trying to figure out an excuse for buying a remaining copy of Transmasc that wouldn't look weird.

So I'm chilling in kikos house, I go outside to feed some plantain to the bird feeder. As I exit the house I notice there were two new birds in the corridor but on the right side of the house, not by the feeder. So I go inside the house to not scare them, the birds were big and veryy beautiful, the colors were of all the phases of blue and purple, I googled them and found out it's called the Victoria crowned pigeon, they had a very beautiful blue crest on their head, they were very exotic birds indeed. So I'm inside the house spying on them and so is my uncle, so I whisper to him to bring me my cellphone so I can record them, and so he does.
I get my cellphone, I peak outside the house to record them and one of them says "Hello", I look over to my uncle and he says that he didn't speak. I look back at the birds and the bird says "Yes, I'm talking to you", I got scared for a bit because a bird was talking to me.
I said: "Heello (shaky voice), please don't go, I won't harm you"
Male bird: "Yes, I know you won't"
And so our conversation started.
I started asking questions, and the first obvious one I asked was:
me: "How can you speak in spanish?"
Then both of the birds started talking to me,
Birds: "We are special beings from another planet, we have lived on earth for many years now and we learned how to speak with humans and with birds. We really enjoy your planet earth so we like being here, we know how to speak really good spanish "
My uncle disappeared, we were us three speaking. They never told me why they visited me.
They also told me their names, their names reminded me of the greek alphabet but their is no way I could remember this.
Me:" from where do you guys come from?"
Birds: "We come from another planet, we travel through portals."
Portals just like you see in the movies.
Me: "how do you make the portals?"
Birds: "They told me the name of a very weird material that they used to make the portals, it was something from their planet that made it possible to open the portal."
Me: "Does your planet have a sun?"
Birds:"Yeah, of course"
Me: "How is your sun, yellow like mine?"
Birds: "It's actually more orange than yours."
Me: "Is the oxygen of your planet like earth?"
Birds: "Yeah it is, you could actually go to our planet and breath normally"
Me: "What is the predominant or superior species of your planet?"
Birds: "It's us, my species, in our bird form, we also have an ability to transform into different creatures but we like the human form. With our intelligence our species is the most powerful one of our planet, our planet is about 500 (light years or something) away. The only way humans can get there is by using the portal. One time we saw a human in our planet but we think he was astral projecting because he disappeared suddenly or maybe he died."
Me: "Can you guys speak with the bird species of earth?"
Birds: "yeah we can, we can speak in their language"
Me: "Do birds speak to each other when they tweet at each other?"
Birds: "All birds of earth speak the same language, an eagle can speak with a pigeon, when you hear a bird tweet it's actually a secret phrase, it's actually a coded message that only the same species knows and the tweet actually means a long sentence. For example a short tweet can mean - go away fast that they are hunting us"

Then both of them transformed into their human form, I couldn't see the process in which they transformed to humans, I only saw them as humans, it was a man and a woman.
Then they explained to me that they needed to to a ritual in order to conserve their energy and to recharge their energy so they could maintain their shape and open portal, this ritual consisted of something with hugging a lot and being very close to each others bodies.
They showed me a portal, I could see through the portal and the other side in their planet, I saw the portal but I was scared of entering it because maybe I couldn't return to my body.

I'm at a beach, I've never seen this beach before but the ocean didn't have blue water, it was more like the cartagena beach.
I was at this beach with a dance partner (Julissa) and we were walking in the water but the tide was really low so we could see the ocean floor, although there was nothing really interesting to find on the floor. Me and Juli grabbed a shell so we could keep it as a souvenir.
We then decided to walk towards a local park that was very near, it was an ecological park that had many animals, it was like an animal zoo. To get there we had to go through a forest, we start our journey and I notice that the floor was infested with thousands of crabs, white/pink crabs all crawling around the forest floor. As I'm walking over the crabs I was being very careful that a crab didn't bite me because I had sandals on and I was worried for my feet.
After completing the journey across the crabs we come to an open road inside the forest. We follow this path and as we're walking I notice that ahead of us some weird footprints start appearing out of nowhere. The floor was wet so you could easily see the shape of the footprint, and it was from a horse. The footprints started going faster away from us, I came to the conclusion that it was a ghost horse or something like that and it was going fast, we couldn't see it because the horse was transparent but we could see it's print.
I told July to take out her phone and to start recording the scene, in the video you could clearly see how the footprints were being formed out of thin air, at this point we were running behind the prints. After chasing him a little bit more the horse went to a stop, then I could clearly see it's silhouette. I saw it's silhouette because I noticed it had an BLUE aura around him, it was a very bright blue aura, a blue like the color of a horse, a very beautiful blue, I loved that color of the horses aura. Then after I saw it's aura the horse turned visible again, you could see the horse now and it was a black horse, a very big and beautiful black horse.
I was that we had made it to the entrance of the park we were going to, we left the horse behind and entered. We go in the park and it was a total chaos inside. All the animals had escaped, the tourists were running from the animals, everything was crazy, people screaming, we went inside, ran a bit to the right side of the park and ended up in a small wooden cabin. Inside the cabin there were many kittens!
There were 2 adult cats and 4 small kittens, we played with the little kittens. They were so adorable! I was playing with them, they were really small, I carried them around and petted them. Juli notices that one of the cats had a pattern of stripes, I analyzed them and realized it was a baby leopard! I was playing with a small baby leopard. I tell her that we have to take him to a guard that can care for him. I'm going outside the cabin and as I'm going outside the door I see a big adult tiger outside looking at me right in my eyes.
This tiger had a collar so he was from the zoo but had escaped. I look at him and he jumps at my to try to eat me, I quickly close the door so we stayed locked inside. The tiger was very beautiful, amazing orange and black stripes, big and alpha but he wanted to eat me jeje.
So we look outside through the window to check when the tiger was gone, as soon as he left we go outside the cabin. We come across a path were we saw all sorts of birds passing by, Ducks, turkeys, and all sorts of the duck family. The dream ends with me trying to find a guard to hand over the small leopard.

Two weeks later I visit a farm that had the exact birds I was on this dream, the farm was in támesis.

So, I'm in my room. A dream one that's a little off but dream me does not notice that. It's in first person. Outside of my window I see the sky with clouds floating below me, I'm pretty high up I guess. (something happened to get here but I don't remember it.) The sky shifts into a dark, bloody crimson and starts storming as in my room blood akin to Silent Hill wall textures starts appearing on my walls. This is a strange start already. Me, considerably confused, feels it is best for me to immediately take out a weapon. It's an old iron flail mace. I can control the chain too, or at least I could handle it much easier. The main event comes and a stone face with the expression of one of those sad theatre masks comes out of the wall and glows. I knew in my dream mind that something was coming and prepared, it was a sort of boss rush in a video game but for me in reality. I couldn't see who was saying it, but a crowd of people chanted "FIIIIGHT!!! KIIIILL!!!" in my mind over and over, which pumped me up.

Out of the face and into my room came swarthy hoards of these humanoid beasts ripped out of uncanny valley, things that looked human but weren't quite to downright a new species. Must be bug people like in the waking world lol. Anyways This goes on for a while where I'm fighting these things in my room as they try to kill me, eventually everything just stops. A dead stop, the face goes away, the blood, I'm on ground, and I can't find my mace. But that's okay because what happens next is funnier.

Now for some goddamn reason, Christopher Moltisanti from the goddamn Sopranos of all people just comes into my room and starts lecturing me about standing up for myself and taking initiative. I just killed like 15 eldritch creatures, what more do you want from me asshole??? Anyways though he takes my hand and forces me into a room somewhere. It switched to third person this time so I have no idea where I went. All I know is, here comes the false awakening part, I "woke up".

I "woke up" in the same dream room I was in before, and was wondering what I even did last night. My mouth was bleeding a little. I walk out of my bedroom door and the landscape now transformed into a dense woods which transitioned into a beach side which looked like it was in a secluded area of Japan. It was nighttime. There was a very VERY small village area on the beach, architecture Japanese again. There was a lot of wildlife out there, so it was noisy but a nice kind of noisy. One that fit the tone. I walked into what looked to be a shrine. There was a book placed upon an altar type-thing. I picked it up to read it. It was in a glyphic language, looked like classical Mayan glyphs but I don't know enough of them to make out more than a simple sentence so a lot of them were definitely made up. Dream me could still read them though, and it was a story about a certain character dubbed the "Aztec Wolf". There are basically no wolves in southern Mexico so why it's a wolf I have no idea. Anyways, though, the story read something like this:

There lives a man, name unknown but legends call him the Aztec Wolf. He hunted and killed not for sacrificial or food reasons, but for no reason at all. Many creatures of the forests, rain or not, and deserts were wiped out by the Aztec Wolf's bloodlust. These creatures would be trapped as spirits, and one day they will have their revenge on the Aztec Wolf. When that time comes, the land will go silent, with Ehecatl guiding them on. (Ehecatl is the wind god in Aztec. Why is what's seemingly a Mayan written story using Nahuatl god names? No clue). Wanna hear the scary part now? After reading this, the beach went completely silent. I couldn't see any of the wildlife I previously saw.

There was only a strong breeze coming my way that made any noise. And while I didn't see anything, I felt a presence or more coming after me. At that point I realized... Oh shit......I'M the Aztec Wolf??
(Awesome chase music!)
I ran into the dense woods area and struggled around to get out. I could see civilization on the other side, glimpses of it. I kept clumsily running through the woods, definitely not in the fashion someone nicknamed the AZTEC WOLF would make it through the woodlands. Here comes another complete plot overhaul for the final part of this dream.

I eventually made it to the other side of the forest. Angry animal spirits are no longer after me. Something was really weird about this part, though. It was a small city area much like one in a previous dream, but everything was just white. Plain white. And didn't look natural. I realized pretty quickly this was a digital interpretation of a city, not a real city. Some Silicon Valley roachperson billionaire was talking about all the features of this virtual world over a massive screen that looked bigger than the moon in the sky. I ran to where I thought my house would be, and sure enough it was there. The only thing that was not a plain white in the entire world it seemed. I went in but there was only one room. The dream room. I saw me sleeping in the bed with blood coming out of my mouth.

I woke up. For real this time though. I think.

2022 May 2nd

Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

Some in-line notes.


Dream (Fragmented):

I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

(recall gap)

I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

(The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

(recall gap)

Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


Notes:

- Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

- This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

- I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
-- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
-- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

- The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

- I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

- The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
-- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

- Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

- The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

- The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.

26th April 2022

Fragment:

Something about WoW. I remember discussing Sunken Temple in chat and also being near the actual place.


28th April 2022

Fragment:

Something about drawing. I draw or notice in a character drawing, some different way of shading around the edges? (Wish I'd retained recall better)


29th April 2022

~9:00
Fragment:

(Left recall too long, about two hours from waking)

A dream bit where I'm either an observer or just watching in some sense. These two women are fighting each other, one of them is in her mid fourties or so and she's using a pole or something like one to attack the other woman. She has semi Asian features but would otherwise seem Caucasian, with a sort of gristly and greying black wavy hair.

The other woman is in her mid twenties or so. She's white, has straight black hair. The area is like some outdoor stone steps, cream colours, modern architectural feel.

As the two of them fight, the younger one starts growing, at first only her breasts but then all of her, proportionally. The older woman remarks cheekily on this and the growing younger woman complains that now she won't be able to go to the ball or gala (?) and in the end her breasts end up being smaller in proportion compared to how they were before the growth. She's also upset about the fact that she won't be able to get any clothes to fit her now.

(Dream went on, rest of recall was lost)


Notes:

- Mostly some notes for the last fragment: It is not too typical for me to be present in a dream only as an observer, though it does happen. In this case however, the relation between the dream characters seems like a dynamic that might happen between some of my characters like S and N, though with a detached relationship between each other in this case.

- The older woman had more air of confidence to herself than the younger one did, and if anything the younger woman had more anger to her. This may be a reflection of what I've found through my own conscious and waking retrospection as I've gotten older.

- In a sense, both women were the same woman. The older woman could be said to be an altered or warped version of the younger and what she lacked in drive she made up for in the self-confidence; this seems evident from how she made a cheeky remark when the younger woman started growing, rather than being intimidated by the fact. And likewise, the younger woman's angry drive became more of a hapless confusion as the situation changed unexpectedly, her concerns turning away from the immediate fighting (perhaps because the threat appeared diminished relative to her) and onto concerns about a unspecified future (the clothes, the ball/gala).

- A side note here, S and N appeared as characters mostly through non-conscious manifestation, whilst their development became partly consciously adopted. So for me the relationship between these two women in this dream is of special interest because it happened entirely out of a non-conscious dynamic, which evolved on its own. I had no influence or interaction, I was simply an observer, which meant that their development was not influenced by my thought, because as the type of observer I was, I had no specific thoughts, perhaps because any part of me that was capable of thought and emotion was inhabiting the women, whilst the senses themselves were not removed from my point of view, as an observer.

17th April 2022

Scraps:

At old home, the shop underneath. I'm talking to the old owner, T. Mom is at the shop too after a while? I look for some cereal but I either can't find what I want or it's all weirdly overpriced. Something about being in the kitchen at old home. A pizza that bakes for too long? I am distracted by something, and also need to take S for a walk.


23rd April 2022

Fragment:

Half-game, half-real. I'm killing some secret cow level mobs in an area that makes me think of the old home cul-de-sac. Then, I'm talking to L about XP per mob, I say I can do 400XP per second or about 120 something K per minute. We then ask J (family friend) who's nearby at a doorframe, see what he thinks.

(Rest of recall was lost. Recall was left too long.)


25th April 2022

~5:00
Fragment:

I am naked and H is here with me, probably naked as well. I have female genitals and H is inserting a sex toy. The sensations all feel very vivid and lifelike.

(Left recall too long, couldn't muster enough will to make initial notes even though I intended to do so.)

deleted

Date: 05/05/2022
Bedtime: 3.15am
Awakening: 7.10am
Return to bed: 7.20am
Method of entry: dream consciousness
Attempt: successful
Awakening: 11.15am
DILD: The Insertion Experiment

DREAMING

I'm queueing behind a man in a shop. I'm next to be served but actress Julia Roberts jumps in front of me. She briefly looks back at me and I shake my head in disapproval before saying with sarcastic chivalry, 'Go ahead, you first!' Scene shift: I'm playing computer games with my wife in my youngest son's bedroom. Suddenly I'm by myself and several screens surround me, allowing me to switch from one game to the next without wasting time. I tend to select fighting over racing games. Suddenly, I'm inside one of the games—which takes a life-like appearance—and I observe people sink into walls with water flowing over their composite-stone surfaces; it seems that whoever gets too close to these peculiar walls ends up literally flushed away, vanishing into their deep gaps. The environment is like a gallery and people are warned to stay away from the walls. I pose for a picture with actor Cuba Gooding Jr. and the photographer accidentally reverses into a wall. I try to save the man by attempting to grab him but he gets flushed away pretty quickly.

WAKING

I wake up at the sound of the alarm and make some notes in my journal before getting my son up for school. I realise that I keep dreaming about celebrities lately, a theme which could turn into a potential dream cue. Playing computer games in my son's bedroom never happens and I also identify two instances of mechanical weirdness, such as, multiple screens and the subsequent flushing system on slippery wet walls observed after the impossibility of suddenly appearing inside a life-like game. Feeling tired, I return to bed.

DREAMING

At a nightclub a stately Rastafarian in dreadlocks insists that I stand in the corner of the dancefloor. This makes me very angry, especially when he refers to me as 'bitch'. I vehemently refuse to do as he says but he continues to press me so we lock horns and I end up killing him by bashing his head on steps at the edge of the dancefloor. I hear calls for security and scram as guards walk in my direction and call the police. Frightened, I exit the building, noticing that I am completely covered in blood. I meet up with my friend Musaddique who promises to help by taking me to his house. When we get there he tells me his door is the fourth one from a brick wall, but I see that the fourth one is blocked by a fence, so I ask him if he is sure and he appears confused. Weirdly, he starts counting doors before telling me that perhaps it's the third one. 'Do you not know your house?' I tease him before we enter the house and meet his family—which consists of his parents, his grown-up sister and some little siblings. Scene shift: It's time to go and, coincidentally, the back door of Musaddique's house allows direct access to a train station platform.

I am kindly given a travelcard so I can get a train home. As I head for some barriers beyond which some information screens are visible, I hear Musaddique and his sister calling me. I turn around to see them running towards me. They want the travelcard back because, as it turns out, they will need it. When I hand back what they gave me previously, I notice that I have two blue travelcards made of plastic, making them resemble my citizen card. I find it a little strange but reason that they must've given me two passes by mistake. They turn around and presumably start walking back to their house. I reach for my wallet and realise that it's missing so I panic. How will I get home now? I can still see the siblings walking at a distance and rush after them in the hope of borrowing some money to get home. Suddenly the platform is bustling with people and I lose them. 'Where are they? They were just here!' I think to myself. Feeling lost and confounded by their sudden disappearance, I begin to wonder if I'm dreaming. It's the only explanation ...

LUCID DREAMING

I no longer worry about anything but feel curious when I see Musaddique get on a train with the crowd. (Realism: 100%) The sliding doors close but I pass through the carriage like a ghost, encountering some resistance as I do so. I can see inside the train as I hover near the ceiling. A semblance of Musaddique and the rest of the passengers look up from their seats. Wondering about what reaction I might get, I say to Musaddique, 'Don't bother with the travelcard! This is a dream!' Musaddique and the passengers start hooting with laughter as if they had been actors all along in some Truman show and I just got 'punked'. I feel like I'm surrounded by tricksters as I stand in the aisle thinking that I must be careful not to get sucked into a dream plot.

I remember the Insertion Experiment and quickly lift a white shirt I'm wearing to plunge my right hand into my belly. As I watch my hand getting gradually absorbed by my torso, I make the following observations: there is some resistance, there is no blood, and there is no pain; as I wiggle the hand inside my tummy to feel for organs, I encounter a vacuous pressure—there is more feeling in my hand than my stomach area and no organs to be found. The environment begins to fade and I wake up eager to record my observations.

WAKING

I scribble some notes and recall the previous dream. Fights and confrontations in dreams are also quite common where strong emotions like anger tend to flare up. Being pursued by the police is also an extremely unlikely situation accompanied by feeling terrified of being captured. Each dream seems to come with at least one scene shift and there are some long-term memory-based elements such as Musaddique—a friend I have not seen since secondary school. I also need to practice being more critical of suspicious events such as Musaddique not knowing exactly which house door is his.

15th April 2022

9:45
Dream:

In a somewhat surreal place. Daytime. There are some platforms? Doesn't seem like there's anybody else around.

(recall gap)

I'm at a dinner or lunch. It's sunny and bright outside, it looks a bit cold actually. The room isn't very big for a dining room and looks kind of bare apart from the table which fits in lengthways with the room. The window is a bit like the ones we have at home, double-glazed I think. Mom, dad and sibling T are sat at the table and I think I take a seat or am already sitting down too.

Then some people enter the room I think, a man in his sixties and one in his fourties; the younger man is the other's son and has a wife who is also in her fourties. All of them are naked from the waist down and have unusually large genitals, two or three times what should be average. The wife has male genitals too, of such a size though she's otherwise average and modest. She has a faded blonde-ish-ness and her hair is tied back. I see all of this while being sat down but they are standing up and talking to us. The couple sits down next to T. Dad is sitting to my left and the other "dad" is serving me bits of food. It looks like we're mostly having meat, possibly mostly charcuterie at that.

My small plate has some paprika-ish looking meat and then the older man cuts me some of those thin and long ones. Dad steals it from my plate and then the other guy makes a mock complaint while serving me some more, sitting down himself afterwards. Not sure what happens next, short gap in recall.

I'm in the bathroom now, with T? The bathroom has a big double-glazed window down to ankle level or so, with no frosting or anything. I need a wee and try to do something about it but I also watch outside and see a doing being walked just near the window. There are other houses with large front-yard gardens very much like this one, no fences. All grass is neatly mown.

After something, we're all leaving for us to go somewhere else. For some reason however, I stay behind and I think I watch the outside some more. It's different now or I'm at a different window, and see a street sloping down. Cobbled? I see them all go down this street, I think the hosts are actually fully clothed by this point. Eventually, as they get just about out of view, I decide that I should come with them too. Another short gap in recall.

Then, we're at some kind of restaurant-like place. There are large tables and we walk over to one with six seats ready, but which would have room for eight or more people. There are other people in the restaurant and they're just sitting there. They seem to be staring at us and smiling slightly, I feel a little observed I think. The older man from our host group asks me if I want any crackers and I say yes. It looks like he's made himself a cracker with peanut butter on it.

T seems to think this is a bad idea. I don't care and want to eat something, I think after having drunk some Schweppes or something. I'm about to eat the cracker, but my alarm goes off and I wake up.

9th April 2022

9:30-9:45
Dream (disjointed):

I'm in a little town-ish area. Flat with a few green spaces. It seems clear or sunny but dim too somehow, like nearing the end of the day, though not colour-wise? I go towards a small building thing. It's supposed to be like a little kiosk but for McDonald's, these two things don't really seem related, almost. I pick up some order from a young woman, reminds me of A, H's sister. My order is in a big but strong brown paper bag and I check it over quickly.

It all seems fine and I have awareness of having ordered a few happy meals menus. I walk away from the building with the bag, towards some stone stairs bit. Here, there's some dream-generated or popular character, and sibling T. They're sitting and we are about to start getting things out of the bag so we can eat here, but I suggest we should go up the steps instead and eat at one of the white tables up there. We go to the tables and they sit down. I open the bag now and get everything out. However, there's only 1 menu, which T takes.

I feel confused, and then annoyed, asking him why he didn't order menus for everyone (implied to have been the point) and as he eats a bagel from his menu, he looks at me and does that smug shrug. I feel annoyed and go back down the steps and to that kiosk building. I get annoyed once more, as the woman has shut the shutters to the shop and is probably gone by now too. In my head, I think something about it being 3PM. I open the door to the building, and inside it looks like old home, the downstairs kitchen. There's a pressure cooker on top of the hob and I open it, finding nothing inside despite some expectation otherwise.

I feel generally disappointed and annoyed. (Rest of recall for this part was lost)

(recall gap, a late part of the dream?)

I'm in a street and sitting down, talking to an unshaven Irish man (strong accent). He's a train conductor, and I'm being informally interviewed to determine whether I'm a suitable passenger for the city train he drives. I see the train in the background, we're sort of on a platform for it and there are people waiting inside the train. The Irish man is Catholic and as he's smoking a cigarette, he remarks something like "... thank God I don't follow it all to the letter."

I mention my own Catholic upbringing and he seems to quietly appreciate this. When he asks about my general behaviour, I also tell him I won't be misbehaving or loud or anything like that, and that I tend to be quiet and out of the way in general. After a bit more talking and some other questions I can't recall, he then seems satisfied with me and I can now be a passenger on his trains. I get in and there's something about seat assignment that should be happening, but because I'm new there is no seat assigned to me yet. Then, I have some discussion with the driver about this, while the train goes into a subterranean area.

He says something about refitting or remodelling the train in a few stops/minutes. Some man gets annoyed with the driver as he overhears this. The man says that he's late as is and can't wait that long. Then, something about disembarking with most other passengers. The conductor is down on the floor?

(recall gap, unknown chronology)

Something about a cyber man and cyber woman. They have a discussion about some memory. A third and younger cyber man checks his own memory for the event in question and confirms witnessing the details as relayed by the older man. The woman was lying, apparently. It was something about a loom of wires, part of an arm, and how it had been lifted. (?)

(recall gap, unknown time again)

Walking in a town, overcast. My hands feel very noticeably calloused and/or rough and I think to myself that it's the tenth day or something. I think that they're almost done forming the needed callus.

I am at work and a man comes in. He looks pretty gruff, and is loosely wearing a bandana or scarf for a mask. He wanders for a minute and then starts talking under his breath at us. I think they are derogatory comments, as I get angry and end up yelling at him. I think it’s Jessica here with me, and she unexpectedly looks glad or impressed that I’m yelling at him. I keep yelling until he leaves, not putting up a fight. Now, Zoe is here and she wants to talk to the man. I’m irritated that she’s so calm about it and treats him like he didn’t do anything wrong.

For my birthday? Mom has arranged for me to climb Half Dome. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve climbed, but I think I’m excited. I am looking at the wall now (I’m not sure it’s actually Half Dome) and it’s incredibly tall and somewhat slabby. There’s something about some bolts at the top and me considering top roping it but not being sure if the rope is long enough.



I am in some building with Luke and Danielle from work. I think it’s an apartment building that both or one of them lives in. Walking through it, it is vast, but none of the space seems like living space so far. There is a succession of common rooms that have art on the walls and some others viewing it. Now I am walking through a hallway that seems upstairs and like it has the living spaces. I complete a lap around the place, back at the main room. There’s a fair amount of people here; I think there’s some event happening.

I am in some shopping mall. (I want to say it is unfamiliar, but it almost seems familiar from another dream). It seems large and it’s not all that crowded. Right now it looks like I’m in a section with an atrium. I notice some people with masks and some without, myself included, and it seems like there’s no judgment from either party toward the other.

I have showed up to some house for some appointment. The house is fairly large and very well kept. The natural lighting is soft and I don’t initially notice anyone else here. I then see a boy about my age in plain clothes who I assume works here. I tentatively ask if they’re still taking appointments today. He informally but not unkindly says yes and asks my name. I tell him and notice a few closed doors along this hallway that I assume must be the rooms for the appointments.