lucid

Expedition to a freezing alien world

I'm on a massive spaceship. It's like a little moon, absolutely huge. We've made our way out of the Milky Way galaxy and reached a system we want to explore. We haven't encountered life yet, but the first planet we land on is extremely hostile.

We lose half of the crew instantly, systems are dying all around the ship. I pilot one shuttle and a crewmate pilots another. We have to fly to another part of the ship now that the systems are dead. Outside the ship there's a storm and the temperature is just some odd Kelvins, it's incredibly cold. I watch the wind slamming the other shuttle down to a liquid nitrogen "river" that the storm has created. I hear the pilots screams as the shuttle is quickly destroyed. I struggle to get to my destination too. Seems like this is the end.

Then the dream skips. I'm inside the ship again, with one of the last surviving crew members, a strong willed woman. We are in the medbay and she tells the computer to unlock the vampiric systems. I have no idea what that means. I notice a futuristic blood pressure monitor and test it out. When I activate it, the wrap cuff builds itself around my arm. My blood pressure and pulse are pretty high.

LD 106 - Lego Aliens Personal goal attempt #18
I'm a massive observer in space around Earth. I'm bigger than the planet. I see a space station in Earth's orbit and a portal opens far away. Aliens from another galaxy are invading. Instead of using weapons, the alien ships slam one by one into the station's shields. The shields hold, but the alien ship just make a big loop like a boomerang and hit it again. This repeats until the shields are destroyed and the station starts falling apart.

Awareness rises from my subconscious. It's like a whisper saying "You're dreaming" gently reached me. Lucidity changes the scene. I find myself in my childhood home, in the kitchen. The alien ships from before are floating in the kitchen. They look to be made from legos. I raise my hand towards them and try to pull them apart. One of my goals is to use dream powers without any unnecessary tricks. I can't do it. I sit down to meditate. I tell myself out loud "I'm a lucid dreamer" and try to remind myself of my role in the dream. My thoughts are not focused though. I get up and try destroy the ships again. They shrink down. Good enough for me. I crush one of the ships with my foot for good measure.

Alright, time for my personal goal. I first think I should go outside, but rethink and just go to the closest door. It's the door to my brother's old room. I close it and imagine the Frozen Planet being on the other side. I enter without looking, one bare foot first. I want to feel snow before I look. I do feel snow, but when I look, it's just the backyard covered in snow. I close the door and try again. I look behind me and focus for a second on all the details of the dream. Beautifully detailed. I see through the other windows that there's now snow outside. I step through the door again with one foot. I feel snow and look in, now it's a dark, unfamiliar room with broken windows and snow blowing in through ragged curtains. Since I don't recognize it, I believe this is it. This room is on the Frozen Planet! All I need to do is to go through the wall to see the planet. I wake up.

Aug 25 2018

Went to bed pretty late. Woke up at 5:30 or 6:30 and remembered that I had 3 long NLs, but couldn't remember them.
First dream I remember of the night was lucid. I don't know what I was doing and don't remember much about it. I was in a library, possibly on a college campus. I spontaneously became lucid and looked at my hands, and I remember saying "I'm dreaming!" excitedly. I then walked around and tried to push my fingers through my palm, but it didn't work. The dream started to fade and I remembered the advice to meditate in your dream. Instead of really meditating though, I sort of just focused on my senses for a moment (just vision and touch) and the clarity came back. I tried the finger through palm RC again and it worked! I remember walking around a little more but that's it. I think the dream continued but I lost lucidity. Vaguely remember bragging to DCs while not lucid that I could lucid dream (how did I not catch this ).

NLS:
Had another dream about two cacti in a pool house or greenhouse, and at some point they fused together into one (possibly connected with my lucid one).
Had another dream about college campus murders with some pretty gruesome mangled corpses. I think I was the murderer but was also investigating.
Had another dream in my childhood living room where my cousin dropped himself down through the beams (we didn't think he could).
Had another dream where I bought $50 dollar tickets for my fiance in some kind of stadium, but I couldn't find her and wanted to ask to use the loudspeaker.

Throughout the night, each time I woke up I tried to WILD using hypnagogic imagery. Didn't work but came close and had some cool HI. MILDed each time then using the mantra "I will be lucid in my next dream", and also tried to remind myself to RC each time I woke up, but I forgot to each time.

I had two dreams prior to this one. I'll list them below the main dream regardless. I woke up to my 5am alarm and got out of bed for a bit. Drank some water, used the restroom. I went back to bed hoping I could still have a lucid dream when I am sick.

TOTY #2 - Mephistopheles and Faust
I found myself in a dream and made it clear I was going to accomplish a lucid task this dream. I took a big risk and sat down on a thorny bush and closed my eyes to meditate for a moment. I had heard meditation does some spooky shit at times but does work quickly. I figured this would make the dream stable without me having to nurse it the whole dream. Normally when I close my eyes in a dream I wake myself up, but I made sure to focus on the sensation of the thorny bush and of birds tweeting around me. After a few seconds I decided to begin my task. As I am listening to the birds and feeling the thorny bush I try to will my eyelids open but it didn't work. I took risk #2 and opened my eyes like I would if I was awake. Thankfully I could indeed see. It didn't feel like the most vivid or lucid dream. (Lucid as in awareness) When I opened my eyes I looked directly into the sun and looked away with the after image burned into my retinas for a bit. It appeared to be dusk. I walk down the street and find my victims. There was a car that just arrived at their house. There was a mother, father, and 2 daughters. The parents went inside while the younger daughter noticed me. I said I had the power to grant her greatest desire. I then asked her what it was she wanted.

She said she was always treated like a princess, therefore she really wanted a tiara. I smiled and snapped my fingers. Done. The parents saw me and invited me inside. I went to a nearby bed and grabbed a beautiful silver crown from the bed and put it on the girl's head. I was feeling generous, so I also summoned a tiara for the older sister. I then grabbed one more larger and more adorned silver crown and placed it upon the mother's head. This crown was different as it was a full circle and had rings that went down on either side of her head. Finally, I couldn't leave the father out of the party, so I said I had a splendid crown for him as well. I reached back and to my surprise no crown was there this time. I turned around again with expectation and found it lying near the other end of the bed. I moved over and grabbed it and then waked over and put it on the father's head. Unfortunately either he had a real big head or this crown was much smaller than I intended. It looked more like a cheap accessory than a crown of power. It was still adorned with jewels and whatnot, but it's size meant it did not fit on his head.

The father walked away to another room of the house, while the mother thanked me profusely for being so generous. I said to her that I was so happy as well that I was able to complete this goal of mine that I have been attempting for a long time now, at least a few months. I was almost ready to end the dream until I realized that I forgot to take their souls! I said to her she needs to bring her husband back so I could leave my final parting gift. He came over and I told them to lock arms together. I said I had left out an important detail before, and that I must not leave until I do what I had to do. I told them I was Satan, king of hell. Due to my profile I couldn't ask God to give them what it was they desired, so I had to do it out of my own power. And my power doesn't come for free. Unfortunately the price that must be paid is their souls. I put one hand on her shoulder and the other on his shoulder. There was a flash of light, everything went dark as if the sun just burned out. The kids were gone, and the parents were both very thin and gaunt. They didn't look so good. It may have been the lighting, but I wasn't sure what taking people's souls was going to do to them. The man didn't move. I wasn't so sure either were even alive any more. The woman walked toward me while acting sexy and kissed me. I was kinda shocked. She was behaving so erratic and different than before. When she backed away from the kiss she had an evil grin on her face. I came to the conclusion that without their souls they no longer had any morals and their impulse control was gone. They turned instinctual.

Obese angry woman
I had a short dream earlier on in the night where some large chick was flying through the air and going on a rampage. She kept calling me a slut and acting all mad. I asked if she was accusing me of being a rapist and I explained that I most certainly am not. Whatever her problem was I kept talking to her and calming her down. As I talked with her I saw a visual indicator going down from 10. When it reached 2 I started talking intellectually with her. Whatever set her off I do not know.

Bomb threat
Another dream later one involved our family going to a bowling alley. We had heard there was a bomb threat but we didn't believe it. When we arrived it was dark and there were many ambulances there. The location was in a slums with graffiti and broken windows all around. The focal point appeared to be a high-rise building. It looked like an office building or an apartment maybe. I counted at least 6 or 7 ambulances. I didn't see any police or other emergency vehicles. Some people were being carried on gurneys into the backs of some ambulances. There were EMTs all around. I made the stupid remark questioning what the hell had happened here. I looked around at the graffiti and it was all referring to bombs. There were paintings of bombs and words showing the threats of blowing up the place. I pieced together that a bomb must have already gone off and many had been injured and killed. I noted that it did not seem as if we would be playing bowling tonight, given the circumstances. Good thing we left our equipment in the car or we would have really looked dumb.

As I turned to go back to the car I heard a large boom. I turned to see a giant fireball hurling toward me. I ducked behind a wall and just barely missed being incinerated. A few more large explosions followed and giant fireballs kept being thrown in every direction from the building. I managed to avoid getting hit by two or three until I hightailed it out of there and ran down the street and around the corner. As I fled the scene the dream ended.

79/19th Lucid Jogged through wooded paths. Rounded a bend and was almost cloths-lined by a skinny tree bent across the path. I limbo jogged under it at such an impossible angle. I stood up and laughed, "I'm dreaming. I'm finally asleep." I woke.

80/ In a city with a friend, we were at an outdoor gathering. I pushed an empty baby stroller. Left, went to a store to buy a small bag of potato chips and a bottle of water but the store only had obscenely large bags of potato chips and large cans of energy drinks. I was going to buy them but had no money in my pocket. I left, put the empty baby buggy, now just the buggy frame, in the middle of the street. I left it there. Ran into my cousin. She asked where her buggy was. We had to go all the way back to retrieve it in the middle of rush hour.

Fragment: killer with a chainsaw outside my window, tried to figure out how to defend myself.
Woke up and the neighbors were cutting their grass with a horribly loud lawn mower.

Log 1212 - Raid on Death Squad HQ, The Gang Steal a Car, Crazy Niece, Apartment Suite Uncanny Guide, and Spontaneous Flight DILD Fragments

Two in one. As such, I spoilered what's below to keep from cluttering up the front page.

Created Thursday 23 August 2018

Spoiler for Log 1212:

Scraps and a very short DILD today.

Scrap Group 1
In a live-action version of Liberal Crime Squad. I raid Death Squad Headquarters to steal secret documents.

Watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The gang snuck into a fancy party. Later, they stole a car, only to total it nearby. They tried deflecting blame to another party-goer, despite all the evidence to the contrary (it was said party-goer's car, and virtually everyone there witnessed that he wasn't the one driving it at the time).

In an unknown apartment room. My niece was acting like a lunatic.

Living in an apartment suite with strangers?

Riding around town in a large bus. Later, my guide, E, climbed onboard. She had a most uncanny form, having six arms ending in clawed hands, a row of cannons circling above her waist, and the legs, thorax, and abdomen of a spider below. The interface from LCS revealed she had fantastic combat skills. I asked her to show off her powers. From her cannons, she let out a barrage of energy blasts to the empty aisles of the vehicle.

Dreamlet to dream. I was walking around the block. Got aware. I ran as fast as I could, then hovered above the ground. I soon got distracted by other thoughts. Things immediately destabilized.

Log 1213 - Bandido Blaster and Other Assorted Stories
Created Friday 24 August 2018

Spoiler for Log 1213:

Quite a bit to note today. There was plenty more, though I can't recall any of that. Seems I gotta work on my memory again.

Dream 1 - Out-Of-Breath Buffet Search

The visuals were mostly clear. I was going out for a meal with my bro. We stop at a supposed Chili's/McDonald's hybrid. Among the items that interested me was a ribs combo meal (might've even a kid's meal!). But, I also "knew" of a buffet deal Chili's was offering. My brother was too full to indulge in that, so I took off on my own. I went down a hallway then through the back door of the place. Merely passing through triggered lucidity.

I stopped breathing, and kept walking. My plan was to either 'power up', or teleport elsewhere. Instead, I'd somehow felt myself not breathing IWL, causing destabilization. Some thorough hand rubbing kept me mostly in state. Brief warp to a foggy environment. As I paced through, I willed my breath to become ice. This took the form of ice needles, snow trailing behind each spikes.

Things eventually clarified. For a moment, I was in a large warehouse of a kind. After yet another warp, I found myself outside in a very long plaza, bright neon lights illuminating the cloudless night sky. Such a colorful view made me guess this was supposed to be a Vegas knock-off. Anyway, I still kept my sights set on a buffet. I passed a few restaurants, a movie theater, and many, many tax/law offices, for whatever reason. After three minutes, I couldn't find what I was searching for. The dream collapsed shortly after that.

Scrap Group 1
Washing dishes. I accidentally overheat a large ceramic bowl, causing it to break. By holding my breath, and with great concentration, I rewound time to keep it from getting shattered.

WILD loops in bed. I roll off into the void each time. There was one instance where I flew around indoors momentarily. In most cases, I tried summoning E, with inconclusive results. Woke up. DEILD transition a minute later.

Dream 2 - Bandido Blaster

DEILD transition in bed. I again roll into the void, only this time, I rubbed my hands until a scene formed. I then found myself in an old west desert at twilight, green cacti dotting the landscape, everything of which was 'drawn' in 16-bit graphics. Suitably, the Desert Theme from Bomberman Tournament sounded in the background. Wind was kicking up sand and dust, yet there was no sound of such, though my imitating those things fixed that quickly.

Just then, a cartoon bandido jumped out at me, guns blazing. I took cover behind several boulders and cacti, leaping between each when needed. I again held my breath, this time, intending to become a Spellforged Guardian. In an instant, my form changes from flesh to flowing, prismatic light. Gave me quite a boost. Yet, when I tried retaliating, I found that I couldn't quite get a grasp on this energy. I kept hidden in the meantime. It took a good half-minute of just staring at my hands before I could figure this out. I then vaporized the enemy in a single shot.

Several unknown occurrences before the dream ended.

Scrap Group 2
False awakening in bed. I started partially aware, but quickly lost that. A distant relative showed up to berate me. Cue a vicious brawl.


Watching gameplay of a 2D Dragon Ball Z fighting game (Hyper Dragon Ball Z?), an adult Gohan mirror match. At times, I feel myself performing their moves.

Dreams over the past few weeks.

Jamie dreams have all been short and not very active:

Black space

I'm Standing in a black space with her and we are both smiling.

Chat

Chatting with Jamie over facebook. We both keep saying something about next week we both seem to be really excited about it.

Long drop off from the dreams, about a week or more.

Yesterday:

2 fragments

First one me and Jamie are walking down a street at night time. Second one, she is working with me at mcdonald's and asks the cooker to put down more reg meat.

This morning:

Scary

Jamie comes up to me and says, " this is us." and shows me a kids drawing of her and me dead with x's over our eyes like we just committed suicide. I'm like, "Um, no!" and I give her a picture of us hugging instead.

Switches to another scene of a cinematic shot of ambulances pulling up to a house. Then I'm looking through Jamie's eyes and I'm on a stretcher looking at the men wheeling me into the ambulance... Cryptic.

Other dreams:

Lucid

I was in some big university with some people. It was very crowded and I was lost walking the corridors. Some SJW looking girl and her friend were with me and they kept telling me I was going the wrong way.

I left them and walked into a shower room. In the shower room were a bunch of gay guys wearing fishnets with their goods hanging out. Became lucid here and decided to leave right away. I backtracked a lot and got lost again trying to get out of the university. I found a landing with several staircases going in different directions. I went up the middle one and found a hallway which led to a door outside.

Outside I flew up to get a better view of the area. The building itself was wooden and looked centuries old. I landed on the ceiling that looked abandoned and wandered inside somewhere. I wanted to try teleportation again. I thought of Jamie and wandered through a few doors. She was nowhere but I saw a hole in the floor to small to fit through. I jumped up and tried to use the hole as a portal. When I tried that the dream ended.

Not again

I was flying through a dream portal and landed in a dream with C. "not you again," I said to her and woke myself up from the dream.

Resort

A dream of walking through a vacation resort with a different C. Can't remember much details.

Strange place

I was in a grassy field by a large wooden structure shaped kind of like a bowl. I jumped on it and Saw Bjork there. She said we had to get away from the bad man. I looked and saw a throne. I ran to it and seen a scary guy sitting on it wearing a metal mask. He was holding a metal spear.

Family trip

I was in a strange place with my dad, my brother and his girlfriend. There was a big chute or slide I had to go down but was too afraid because it was a snow slope at the other end. I wasn't even dressed so I told them I had to find a snow suit. I found a large blanket and wrapped myself in it. I woke up before I could go down the chute.

Aug 23 2018

Woke up at 3:30 am, remember bits of a long NL. I was a female (possibly jewish?) in some sort of relationship/society/sisterhood. My best friend or leader was dismissing me from the group sternly but also still loves me and was sad to see me go. I remember the words "Is it possible to always be a mama bear?" with no context (hey -- they made sense then). I also remember a DC from earlier in the dream that looked like an old (current) Seinfeld with white hair. I think I was returning to my family.

Was moderately relaxed but again had some trouble getting back to sleep*. Got up and went to the bathroom, then came back. Figured since I still couldn't get to sleep I would try to relax and WILD. No success after some time (although I had some pretty great hypnagogic imagery), so I SSILD'd and laid on my side**.

I eventually got to sleep about 45 minutes or an hour after waking. I didn't notice it, but my neck was strained because of the pillow's position. I then had a series of FA's where I would wake up in my bed and talk/move around, but my fiance would angrily tell me to go to sleep each time because she had work in the morning. Between the second and third FA, I woke up briefly and realized was happening. I resolved that if it happened again, I would take advantage of it.

Success! The next time I FA'd, I saw apple peelings on the bed, and went downstairs to get some apple juice from the fridge, and I thought about tryptophan and realized I was dreaming! I didn't immediately look at my hands and clarify the situation, but I was able to stumble through the dark dream living room (my movement felt somewhat staggering). There was a terrifying old (demon?) woman's face on the couch, so partly out of fear I decided to leave this dream. I pressed my dream head down into the "pillow" to change dream scenes and vaguely thought of a giant tree as a new destination.

I think that when I used this technique (pressing head back into pillow), I somehow became more conscious of my WL body and realized I was lying on my side with my neck strained and my left eye being pressed in by the pillow. As the new dream scene materialized, It came to me in portrait format instead of landscape, if you can imagine that -- and it was letterboxed (black bars on the left and right). This effect worked so well because I could only see out of my right "dream eye", so I didn't have the advantage of binocular vision to "3D it away". Because of my awareness of my neck strain, I also couldn't move my head at all, and the only thing I could control was zooming my vision in and out.

The dream scene wasn't a giant tree, but rather another, smaller version of the previous living room, only bright this time (with daylight coming in through the window and the indoor lights on). There was no one in the room. I understood that it went back some ways behind me and was dark that way. The couch was similar to my childhood couch (old and scratchy, had diagonal woven textiles, like thick yarn) but was grey instead of tan. There were some objects strewn about the couch. As I zoomed in closer, objects would "pop" out of existence, sort of the opposite effect of the Object Fade setting in video games; when I zoomed out, they would return. There was a largeish button, a cylindrical something, a box, and some other miscellaneous vague items.

I should have tried to change dream scenes again, but I think that would have been difficult considering I probably would have had to press left instead of back to fall into the pillow, and who knows if that would have worked. The dream faded very slowly and I probably could have held onto it longer.

Later I had another FA but failed to convert it. When I awoke I was feeling more relaxed and thought I'd casually try to WILD for a bit again. It was nice because I could feel the waves of vibration flow over me. I was doing LaBerge's "1. I'm dreaming. 2. I'm dreaming. 3. ..." method, trying to be a passive observer and let the dream take me in. Had some very vivid HI again and let it play out before me. I think I got partway there, because I remember my HI started integrating into moving imagery, then mini dream scenes, then almost a full dream scene. At the height of it, I was a point in space rotating around a stadium that looked like a giant thimble. I think I was fully aware, enough to at least call it a semi-lucid, but I don't think it was a dream as much as imagery; it didn't feel dreamlike, and I didn't feel as if I was really "in it" as much as I was just "seeing it".

Later in the night I had some more FAs and in some of them I was semi-lucid but not fully there. Once I was trying to WILD again, but got interrupted by a sudden and powerful fear of an intruder.

Overall, a pretty good night! I'm intereseted to know if anyone else has had this kind of "locked view" experience in their dreams, lucid or otherwise.



*I'm not sure why this is happening lately (waking up earlier and can't get back to sleep); I always considered myself a heavy sleeper and never have trouble getting to bed. Also, I haven't been setting alarms or autosuggestions to do WBTB, I think just possibly raised nighttime awareness after meditation is causing small disturbances to wake me. Any advice appreciated.

**I tend to lie on my back most of the time, which helps with vivid dreams and recall, but seems to be causing problems with getting to sleep and staying asleep if I'm not already tired from the day. It also makes me hyperaware of early morning hunger.

***Also just wanted to note that I've been abstaining from my nighttime tea (it makes me drowsy on weekday mornings) and any supplements (I sometimes use melatonin and/or valerian), but have been drinking half a glass of apple juice each night 30ish minutes before bed. Luckily I

4.8 Yeah I had this a while back.

I was stuck in an apartment with mind controlled people. The source of that was in the fridge, where I found a massive black snake with the ability to control minds. There was also a lady in the fridge. The dream was bizarre and eventually changed into something different. Everything was blurry. I looked at my hand and started to become lucid, but the dream was dark and slipping away.

I find myself in my room, lying in bed. I still remember that I'm dreaming, so I look at my hand. I can't move my body, but somehow managed to see my hand by just willing it to happen. I tell myself that my physical form doesn't have to move out of the bed, I can leave it behind. I roll out of the bed in my ghost form. This makes the dream crystal clear and detailed. I want to go outside and phase through the wall and window with some trouble. I stumble into the grass. It's night and the city I see in front of me is not like waking life at all.

I walk across a parking lot and do some reality checks, because everything feels so real my mind still fights the fact that it's a dream. I plug my nose and breathe through. Then I look at my hand and bend the fingers in the wrong direction. Yep, pretty sure it's a dream.

I remember my goal and shout "Give me the power I desire!". I started thinking if I needed to know what I desire and decided it was flying. With my arms wide and looking at the night sky, I waited to feel something. Nothing felt different, couldn't fly yet. DCs passed by me, looking at me like I was a weirdo. I kept following the road and met some friends who I decided to follow. I looked at the stars again and imagined power flowing to me from all the different worlds. Nothing happened. The night sky was filled with way more stars than you see irl.

I entered a restaurant with my friends and met a big group of friends from school. They were all eating. I tasted some dish with tomatoes and potatoes. Wasn't too bad, but nothing amazing. I kept trying to fly and finally a DC wanted to help. One of my oldest friends, Niko was going to help me. He told me to lie down. I cleared the top of a piano that was in the corner and lied down on it. Niko went out of the restaurant to get something and I started to lose the dream. Couldn't stop it.

I close my eyes then start moving lucidly around my surrounding then I fall to my knees holding my stomach then grip the ground bashing the floor I scream I start to fall from the heavens then I wake up in lucidity murdering every virtual opponent I start crying as my tears start to fall I start transforming god starts worshipping me trying to banish me out of heaven until I see her again then I start moving slowly I bend down on one knee then lounge forward screaming I wake up laying in bed in darkness I close my eyes tighter my eye lids start to fall then I'm flying in the heavens looking at a vast eternity I see puppets and angels getting murder In my sight the there jus subconscious being I don't know if they really have a consciousness then I wake standing in mid air falling from my chest start bleeding then I'm falling in the ocean as I get buried under water in the ocean I wake up I close my eyes tighter then I'm in a seem less adventure where I'm in a burning forest where I stand in the wake of others persecuting me until I sleep again

This weekend I started using a more intense regimen for day work and night work to increase dream recall and lucidity. It worked (somewhat)!

Day work: relaxed ADA, i.e. every few hours I do ADA for an hour. During that hour, every 10 minutes I remember in detail what I was doing 10 minutes ago. Also, each time I take my dog for a walk, I do walking meditation and focus on all of my senses.

Night work: night meditation before bed and in bed, setting intentions for WBTB, and SSILD during WBTB. Started keeping a physical DJ instead of using my phone in the morning. As I'm falling asleep initially, I revisit past NLs and visualize that I do an RC and calmly go through my lucid checklist -- calmly state that I'm dreaming, get a good look of my surroundings, start moving through the dream, once I feel somewhat stable scream "clarity now!" (and expect it), keep setting goals for myself to move forward, and most of all, feel calm and confident with an expectation of success.

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Aug 17 2018 (morning of)

Begin day work, but no night work yet -- no LDs, but recorded several NLs.

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Aug 18 2018

Day work, begin new night work.
Two semi-lucids (SL) and one LD, as well as a greater number of NLs than normal.

SL: I'm in a bus. I can feel warm sunlight through the window on my left arm. I'm going down a street near my childhood home. At some point, I become semi-lucid and begin to drive instead of being a passenger. I shift to 3rd person view, and I'm able to zoom and rotate the viewpoint to behind and around the bus, lower to the ground, higher, etc. Eventually I arrive at the end of the street and turn down a shortened version of the waking life street--this place reminds me of the wooded area near where I send my dog for day care when we go out of town. There's an outdoor party under a pavillion that in waking life is used to shelter tractors. My fiance, mother, and sister are all there with other random DCs.

LD: I find myself in an opulent room with deep red walls. The beams and columns are wooden and gold, with gold trim on everything in the room. There is a wooden desk ten feet in front of me with scattered scrolls/books/papers and other golden/brass instruments sitting atop it. The room feels cluttered but I can't remember with what -- bookshelves, tapestries? All around me deep red, wood, and gold are prevalent. I look at my hands and each of my fingertips has a small twisted mouth on it, similar to the strange writhing creature on the tree in Twin Peaks Season 3. I instantly become lucid and say "I'm dreaming". I begin to walk forward towards the table and repeat again, louder: "I'm dreaming!" Then I scream at the top of my lungs "Clarity now!", however I may have doubted myself too much, and the words come out garbled. The visual intensity increases greatly and I physically rise up from the ground. I can see there is some sort of light source on the light beige/tan ceiling, and suddenly I'm dropped back to the ground, as if the dream is rejecting me and literally spitting me out of the dream. I don't pop out of the dream, but it fades extremely quickly. The total length was probably less than 10 seconds.

Other SL omitted for quadruple X rating and just plain bizarreness.

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Aug 19 2018

Day work and night work.
One LD, lots of NLs (more than normal).

LD: As soon as I enter the dream, before even examining my surroundings, I feel aware. I look at my hands and calmly say "I'm dreaming!" and feel pretty stable. The sky is reddish and very dark. I am standing on some igneous rock or basalt, with patches of dried yellow grass, some of which look as if they're illuminated by sunlight. There is also some gravel. I walk forward a few paces and set goals to walk to this patch of grass, then this one. I start to feel worried about the stability of the dream, so I drop to the ground and scream "Clarity now!" as I rub the palms of my hands and knees against the gravel and rock. As I was falling to my knees, the position of my legs and knees relative to my hands feels off--like they didn't exist before I dropped down. As I walk I realize that the rock that I'm on is sort of a cliff or hill, and that there's a dirt path on the ground level a few feet below the dropoff. I look up and see several houses ahead. The sky is darker near the houses. I'm level with the dirt path as the path rose up and the cliff dropped down to a point where they met. I stand up and pass the first, smaller one on my left. I believe the front door was open. The second house is larger and somewhat menacing. I feel some subconscious fear, and suddenly I dream bursts and I'm awake (or in an FA, which I really need to learn to convert). I think this one lasted somewhere around 30-45 seconds.

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Aug 20 2018

Return to daily regimen only -- no lucids, only about 3 NLs remembered.

August 20th

67/ In class with piles of reading and work to be done. I packed up and left early. Had to maneuver under and over strings of ropes in the hallway to get out.

68/ At a meeting were people were dressed in clothes made of flags and bullets and feathers, eagle feathers I think. My friends were seduced into the group. It felt like a cult to me. I went into a house and sat alone wondering how to get my friends out of the group. A cat came and sat on my lap. A girl appeared out of the shadows and sat at my feet. The cat was hers so I gave it back. She wanted me to help her escape the group. I was conflicted. I wanted to help her, she looked so desperate but on the other hand I’d probably be charged with kidnapping. We tried to come up with a way for her and my friends to be rescued.

69/ I had to rush back to school, I'd missed my bus. I did intervals of jogging and walking even though school would mostly be over by the time I got there. Cars kept driving too near to me, almost running me over. At a corner a truck aimed for me. I ran behind a stop sign and the truck hit that instead. Was it even worth it to go to classes i didn't even like?

70/ 17th Lucid Can’t remember what clued me in, but I reality checked to discover I was in a dream. Told my friend we were in a dream. He didn’t believe me so I leaped into the air and drifted up and over electric lines. I told him to fly too but he couldn’t do it. I told him to sing a song he likes, run to the beat, his steps would get lighter each time. I drifted around in the sky and waited. He finally ran up into the air and flew unsteadily. He adopted a swimming through the air technique to stabalize. I drifted around in circles and rose higher into the sky. Friend swam after me. I suddenly sort of remembered one of my goals and yelled down to my friend, “I’m sorry. I have to leave. There’s something I must do.” I flew up into the clouds, which were brightly illuminated by the half moon. I couldn’t rise higher than the clouds. I didn’t know exactly what I needed to do, all I knew was I needed to get up past this world and into the next.

Fragments
Letters illuminating on a board, sort of like wheel of fortune but much larger.
A ragged cloth wrapped clumsily in blue ribbon

71/ 18th Lucid Was with a tour group in a place that looked like Arizona. We traveled for a while and came to a secret raging river and massive waterfall. People, against the tour guides’ wills, climbed down the rocks to the water’s edge. I was one of those people. I just wanted to touch the water. Everyone sat on a rock ledge and let their feet dangle in the river, chatting. I tried to sing but people talked over me. Arguing amongst the tourists ensued.
I noticed a small island mid river and was instantly filled with the unshakable desire to wade across to it. I reality checked because of the stupidity of my decision and discovered I was dreaming. I reality checked one more time to be sure. I slipped over the ledge and dropped into the water. It was cold and not very forceful but the stones under my feet were slippery. It felt very real, I reality checked again. Yes, still dreaming.
People behind me yelled for me to get out of the river. I told them it was okay. When they wouldn’t shut up, turned and angrily yelled, “I’m invisible. I was never here.” It worked. Everyone forgot about me. I reality checked again and waded across the river. It occured that I could get across some easier way but felt it was necessary for me to ford the rapids.
I got across and crawled up onto the island, which sat at the top edge of the very tall waterfall. I peeked over and could not see the bottom, it was too misty. I was tempted to fall into the mis to see where I'd end up. I didn’t. I turned back to the island there sat an old woman and man sitting in the flowers watching me.
“Will you sing us a song?” they asked, together. “I can try,” I answered. I sang for them all the songs I could think of. I don’t remember what happened after this.

Have to work harder at remembering my lucid goals and ways to not be distracted.

Afternoon of August 20, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 35 sec. Readability score: 70.



I am squatting near the edge of a pool and holding onto the tail of a barracuda in a Sea World setting. Only its front half is submerged. I know that if I let it go, it has the potential to swim around and bite me. That is not a certainty, but I am unsure what to do. My view is more as if I am watching myself from above and behind and there is no tangibility in this scene. My dream fades without incident.

---

I do not usually sleep (nap) at the time of 4:30 p.m.

The reactive representation stems from a more active mental state (barracuda) being incompatible with the lesser level of melatonin (water). My semi-lucid self is aware of this and what it implies. I do not have the biological need to enter deeper sleep at the time, so I liminally create an impasse scenario.

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When I removed myself from my body I found that I'm at my parents house. It was night. My spiritual body was black... I concentrated on my arms... It was beautiful in its own way. Very detailed. On surface it was refracting the light like on tiny diamonds here and there. And after longer observation I saw dark violet aura surrounding me.
First thing I did was calling for my soulmate in the case she is close. Astral zombie of my brother woke up at that point and told me disapprovingly that I should stop to try contact and meet her. He said something like she doesn't deserve my help. And then went back into astral zombie state. Outside of parent house, the snow was falling slowly. I knew that it is summer in reality but I had no capacity to be surprised. So I took flight to her home. As usually I got lost but I managed to retrace my travel and make it back to known surrounding. I repeated this 3 times after I got lost again and again. Pity, I didn't manage to reach her house as last time the redirection was at the same place as return point and I wasn't able to go any closer.
So I turned my eyes on sky. I tried to find the moon, but it wasn't on sky anymore. Therefore, I looked on stars... And I decided to fly to the stars instead. It took some concentration to make it happen and I started to magnify (and fly) to particular shining star. But the star vanished- did I overfly it? I looked behind. I was in space surrounded by myriads of stars, submerged in bluish and reddish nebulae. For a few minutes I tried to find course which I should take. Accelerating randomly in a random vectors to random parts of space. Or at least I thought that I'm accelerating. But my surrounding wasn't changing visibly.
So I stopped and concentrated on stars instead. After short time some stars started to shone more strongly appearing larger than shining dust particles. I took flight to them. And I overshot greatly... when I stopped the flight I was far in the intergalactic space. I didn't even know which direction was milky way. All the galaxies... and not one looked familiar- not that I have memorized shapes and coordinates of galaxies... or stars for that case. So I stopped. And stayed there.


Remarks
- I think I have subconscious block to contact my soulmate- I had discussion with a few people about shared experiences and they think that something like meeting, or waking someone in LD or OBE isn't moral thing to do. That I'm interfering with peoples privacy LOL. Funny opinion, still maybe it lingers now in my subconsciousness since I thought about it for some time.
-I looked in the table now- The moon was setting down at 23:15 and I traveled at about 1:30 at night. Still this isn't good enough proof of reality Maybe I knew that subconsciously, because at around 21:00 the moon was at approximately SWW position.

I remember bits of a dream where I was exploring a multiplayer pvp map of a game I don't recognize. I went to the top floor of the building and snuck into a secret area through some vents. It had a greater purpose in singleplayer mode, but in multiplayer it didn't do much. I found myself in an office with a computer and a doomsday laser. I was trying to reach around to the computer but when I touched the floor alarms sounded. I hid and waited for the guards to show up. After a bit only 1 guy came in, and he seemed to be the evil boss you'd normally encounter when playing this. He didn't see me. He went to his computer and readied the laser. Evidently this laser would have the power to level buildings and he was ready to use it against me. I found myself with a rocket launcher. I pointed it at a router and walked through the plan in my head. First I'd shoot the router to stop any wireless activity, then I'd shoot the computer tower, and then the laser.

Now the next two dreams may be mixed a bit. They were similar dreams and I had them one after the other.

I woke up at 5am to my alarm and attempted FILD to no success. I rolled over and played around with my imagination. I couldn't see anything, but I imagined I was holding onto a balloon. As the balloon rose and flew in the wind, so did I. Before I knew it I was in a dream with the balloon above. I then got on top of the balloon and used it to fly circles around the area I was in. After a moment I realized I actually had transitioned into a dream, so I checked my palms and found they had detail. I looked around at the area and saw I was in a neighborhood with many trees. I descended down to the nearest house I could find and willed the inside to look like my dream hub. I walked inside, turned to my right to enter the living room/main area of the hub. I was disappointed with what I saw. Instead of what should have been I only saw one sad looking chair, a flimsy desk, and a few scattered items I didn't pay much attention to. I walked through the living room and into what would be a dining room in the original location. I found myself in the living room of my current house instead. I then decided I would spawn in my DG. I started talking to her. "Sarah, I know you're behind me. I am going to turn around and you'll be with me." I turned around...and she wasn't there.
I then went back through the pitiful living room and went upstairs hoping to see the upstairs from my old house that the dream hub is based on. I turned the corner and just saw the current house's second floor. I went to my room and checked my computer out of curiosity. I could read it, but it was all dark with . It looked almost like an inverted effect. I quickly gave up on that and went back downstairs and outside. I woke up due to frustration with my dream control.

I turned over and went back to sleep. My breathing rate was far too high to be relaxed so I had to pace myself and remind myself I'm dreaming every couple of moments until I fell back sleep.
I was in the dream hub again, but it still didn't appear correctly. I again went outside to try some other things. I told myself "This is a dream. This is MY dream. I am in control. I can do whatever I want." After being unable to conjure fire from my fingers I then tried doing things that would be easier to accomplish that I could build upon to give myself control. I broke my finger backwards and felt it a bit but was able to quickly subdue the pain. I used that to tell myself the dream wasn't real and that I was in control. I was about to try some other measure of dream control until two ladies drive up to the house in separate cars. One car looked like a classic jaguar and the other a classic corvette. Both women were stunning and enticing. The corvette woman was very blunt that it was their mission to capture me and take me to their company. I declined the offer. She then took off and left. The other woman told me seductively that she knew what I really wanted. She told me to hop into her car and she'd take me somewhere special. I stupidly went along with it. As we arrived at our destination I asked if she knew how to talk to my subconscious. I had some questions I really wanted to ask of my inner self. She looked at me like I was crazy. She had no clue what I was talking about. She then took my into the building and I quickly realized I had been duped. I let my instincts take over and got myself trapped at this institute that they had intended to take me to before. I had enough of the situation and woke up later due to my 7am alarm.

So for the record the dream hub is still in the planning phase at this stage. I have been thinking of the idea for a year or two. I know what it should look like. I originally intended it to be a wonderland for a tulpa I was working on. Her name was Sarah. I'd still kind of like to succeed with tulpamancy, but it requires so much work. I have tried with tulpamancy for almost as long as I have with lucid dreaming and haven't had much success. I have had seasons of giving up tulpamancy altogether and other seasons of trying real hard to accomplish my goals. I think my main roadblock is that I want to dig straight into the most difficult parts at the start and am disheartened when I don't see results. I want to see a visually imposed tulpa and psychically hear her. I don't trust my mindvoice. It isn't very loud to begin with so a voice in my head wouldn't be much different as far as I know. Anyway, the wonderland started as just the living room in my old house. The living room had a fireplace and was connected to the dining room of the house. The living room was accessible straight from the front entrance. You would walk in and see stairs to the left going to the second floor. In front would be a mirror on a door that lead down a hallway that had the door to the basement. If you kept walking you'd find yourself in the kitchen.
If you went right from the front entrance you'd see the living room. I picture that in the far right end you'd see a large corner couch with an old T.V standing in front of it. If you can picture a television like this one from fallout, but the monitor is on a simple stand and has speakers on either side of the screen built into it. The screen you see would also be HD. To it's left would be a desk with a mirror for Sarah. To the left of that and in the corner would be a queen size bed. Across the room would be a computer desk with 3 monitors and a VR setup, because I imagine Sarah as a gamer. To it's left would be the fireplace. The fire would be lit and there would be two large red chairs next to each other facing the fireplace with a small table in between that has two fresh hot chocolate mugs ready. As I grew the home from a simple wonderland I pictured the basement as a sort of dream hub. Ideally most dreams I have would take place at this house somewhere. Any time I try teleporting and fail due to not thinking a location fast enough, etc, I'd like to return here. Any time I would cause myself to wake up early I'd like to return here instead.

The basement would take on an appearance very similar to the one from the old house. You'd go down the stairs, and on your right would be a door with a short staircase that leads to the exit through some large doors, as it used to be a shelter entered via that spot. To the right of that door was a small useless hiding area in case of storm. To the left and across the way would normally be a stack of papers and an old boiler, but in my dreams and as part of the dream hub instead there would be an additional room that would be located here. As you walk through the hallway and into this new room you'd notice it is all white. You stand on a platform with only a void below. There are many doors surrounded my a central console. Central console is just a glowing white orb, kinda like this but not. The doors again are just standard wood with glowing white inside. As I touch the central console I would create a new permanent realm in one of the doorways. I could then just walk through the doorway of my choosing, through a portal into a world of my creation. The world may have specific rules set upon creation. Some places may not have gravity, some may allow murder, etc. For the most part these realms would pause when I leave and start again when I return. If at any time I forget the realms they should have a name above the doorways and the central console can always give me the details on the portal at any time.

Also as a note the entire house would be located on a cloud. If I wanted to I could just go outside, sit on a porch swing and enjoy the breeze. I could also fly out and through the clouds and see where it takes me.

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 58 sec. Readability score: 67.



I am in an unknown location at about fifty percent lucidity, but with not as much vividness as in similar states.

The ambiguity of my physicality as perceived within the dream state becomes a representation of a moving vehicle. There is a vague association with my father driving the car (probably because I am a father now and am older), but there are several unknown people present.

The car drives by from right to left. A toolbox somehow flies out from the left side of the car, from the back, as if tossed, though it also seems as if it may have somehow slid out with the door being open as they sped off. It is not that big and is a matte gray color. It lands on the gravel. I am puzzled over this event.

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I had been sleeping on my left side. A car is often a representation of the physical body in sleep as a form of vestibular system correlation. (In fact, the human body is even considered a “vehicle.”) The toolbox comes out from the left side, from the back, oriented towards the intent of the sleeping process. The association is with sleep as a healing process, though I am near waking, so the process is “disrupted.” The biology of the body is not under the control of the conscious will, which is what the reactive representation, in this case, is all about, as coming from the back seat.

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