lucid

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Dream
I managed to get lucid last night, not a great deal happened as it was my first real attempt in a long time. I get out of my bed and think 'hey, this is a dream' despite the fact that I was in my room and in my bed with nothing out of the ordinary. I'm actually a little skeptical, like maybe I sleep-walked out of my window? But surely not... Anyways, I decide to go outside which proved pretty easy, I clambered out and walked down the path towards the clothing-line. As I do this I decide to do a reality check, I was still so skeptical of the dream... I bring up the palm of my right hand and push a finger into it, my skin stretches in the way it shouldn't
"So it IS a dream..." I thought to myself
A few seconds later I decide that I had to make sure though, and redid the reality check, this time pushing even harder to be certain that it wasn't just my eyes playing tricks on me while I was in a sleepy state. Raising my right hand, I push my finger straight through it. Deciding this was convincing enough I think of a dream goal, I knew that I had one but I couldn't recall it... I think of trying to see that girl again but decide that it isn't the RIGHT dream goal, but before I can think of anything else I wake up.

Not bad for a lucid, it feels so much more natural now compared to when I started... Like I know right buttons to push on a playstation game to get a cheat to work . Now I need to focus on clarity and stability in these lucids, along with overall recall.

I was in the city, where I stood on the bus station. It was night. Lights were shining brightly. Then I saw some fighters attacking the city. People went into panic mode. I observed them for a moment and then I flew fast up into sky. I shot down attacking fighters by bolts of orange plasma emerging from my hands. Then I made aerobatic maneuvers and shot more and more fighters till no fighters remained on the sky... After that I flew down to the buss station and created a big red sofa out of thin air. I sat down and observed people... and things around me. I relaxed and let my thoughts disappear. The stars were shining... and I felt the peace. I sat there for some while, then I stood and dismissed the existence of sofa(it vanished)... then I started to walk away.
Suddenly I felt that someone caught my right hand. I froze in midstep and turned. It was my long lost friend. She took also my other hand. I felt emotions inside... Both- joyful and dismissive at the same time... I let my emotions to evaporate into nothingness and started to turn away and at the same time I tried to free my hands from hers to walk away. But she held me fast and told me: "Look, I'm sorry what I have done and what I'm doing but I'll need you still. Please don't walk away..." I stood quiet for short time... I let her to hold my hand and we went together on my way to observe the surrounding, around river.

This LD ended soon after we started walking on bank of river.
First part of dream was more or less peaceful with nice meditation on the sofa, second part was very emotional at first but then I calmed down and the peace returned.
Flying was very funny, I never felt to be in danger. I was the raptor in human body, fighters were my prey.
Creating the sofa was interesting. I only thought what I wanted. I almost never manage such feat.

After trying to lucid dream for the past two weeks, I finally had a lucid dream where I was able to maintain lucidity. I woke up at sunrise this morning (as I normally do), checked the clock, and went back to sleep because it was Saturday and I could sleep in .

I went back to sleep with the intention of lucid dreaming. I lied down, completely relaxed, imagining myself literally "falling" into my dream world. Gradually, I noticed that my body could no longer feel itself. And then I lost consciousness; this was the beginning of my first lucid dream.

The Dream

I found myself walking with my classmates outside on a warm rainy day. A friend of mine (a dream character who exists only in that dream) was shielding me from the downpours with his large umbrella as we walked outside on a school field trip. We walked leisurely in the rainy park for a bit before it stopped raining. As my friend closed his umbrella, I looked at his wristwatch and saw that it said 4:00 PM. It was then that I realized that I was dreaming. No. This can't be real. I went to sleep at 12:00 AM this morning and there was no way that I could have slept this many hours.

Normally, when I find myself to be dreaming, I would instantly wake up, but this time was different. I noticed that my consciousness and awareness increased but I did not let myself become fully conscious. I find myself in a state of consciousness between wakefulness and REM sleep. It was then when I felt the sensation of lucid dreaming for the first time.

In the dream, this sensation translated to a drunken dizziness that I had to struggle against. The colors and the sensations of the dreamscape were slowly dissolving into an unconscious sleep as I fought to keep my eyelids open. I mentally held on to the colors, sounds, and the sensations of the dreamscape around me. And, in a "Eureka" moment, it just clicked: I was completely lucid! I was able to see the colorful dreamscape clearly with perfect vision. I was able see my reflection and the reflections of the surrounding Romanesque architecture, the clouds, and the blue sky in the puddles on brick roadway. I was even able to smell my synthetic jacket against the backdrop of the petrichor of the summer rain. I was finally able to hold on to and experience lucidity in a dream.

The dream continued for another hour or so. It was a fairly mundane dream in very peaceful settings but it was exciting nonetheless. I drifted in and out of lucidity throughout the rest of the dream. I focused on my body and my environment whenever I started to drift out of lucidity. I recall walking around a lake in a beautiful park where humans and animals were enjoying the scenery together. I walked around the town in my dreamscape and visited a bakery. I took out my phone and decided to prank-call the cops but decided against it (because it was starting to feel almost too real to be a dream at this point). Instead, I prank-called my brother and left a silly message. Then I found myself at home, sitting at a desk next to my brother. Just to be ridiculous, I asked him, "Am I dreaming?" He rolled his eyes and sarcastically replied, "What have you been smoking?" At this point, not only did I completely lose lucidity, but I lost awareness of the dream.

Reflections

Dream signs: clocks, watches, imaginary animals, anachronisms
Do's: Focus on the body and sensations in the dream, colors, smells, tastes, food, surroundings
Don'ts: Ask someone whether I'm in a dream; Try too hard to conjure up of places and things that don't exist

All of this actually took place in a Wake Back To Bed. I had another non-lucid dream before this, but all of its content is lost to me now. I only vaguely remember something having to do with Marcus saying something about math. I recall waking up at around 6:30. I woke up from this dream at 8:00 so I guess that was my last sleep cycle.

I was at a country resturant, eating out with an old guy in a ship captain outfit. He was really short with this big beard and all of these curls coming out of it. I remember thinking, even as I was talking to him that he reminded me of the captian crunch mascot. He even had the big hat.

I remember he had this monocle or sighter device over one eye, kind of like an eye-patch with three lenses that would rotate depending upon what distance whatever he was looking at was.

I can't remembered what we had ordered/were eating. The food was fairly good though.

I held the expectation that he would be an unpleasant character, but he was actually extremely nice and had interesting stories to tell involving giant space monsters and the likes. (Yeah, giant space monsters. Turned out he wasn't a boat captian, but rather he had a spaceship that looked like a boat like the ships from Treasure Planet.) He had his quirks though. I told him some of my stories too.

I remember I told him I had to leave because I had to go to my taekwondo class. I walked out of the restaurant and found I was in the hardware store near my friend S's house. But the one big hardware store had been replaced with several smaller stores. One of them being the country restaurant.

I went to the taekwondo studio that turned out to be in a grocery store. We decided to practice by the freezer section since there was a lot of open space, and the freezers would help to keep us cool if we got too hot and sweaty.

Everyone lined up. Right before my taekwondo master started class, he decided instead that I should teach. (Something that happens quite often in real life). He then told me that when I taught I had to remember something:

"When is a number just a number, and when does it mean more? What does the number 9 mean to you? Also, try the fried chicken. It's good."

I had a false memory of him saying this before and it being some kind of trick question. I tried to remember what the correct answer was.

He then opened the freezer door and walked into a big pile of boxes of frozen fried chicken and disappeared. I tried to follow him in. I thought I found him but all I found was his disembodied floating head. He smiled at me then receded behind some boxes.

...

I had finished teaching class without anything interesting or memorable happening. I had to head home. It was a beautiful summer night. I started to walk toward my friend S's house. In the dream, I was living in his house because my house had met with some kind of disaster.

I walked a good distance and remembered that I had left my wallet at the country restaurant. I turned and started to walk back. I walked into a flickering streetlight and saw something move. I wished I'd had my hidden blade gauntlets because I thought it might be a criminal or something. I then looked at my wrists and realized I DID. Knowing it was a dream, I locked the blades out and advanced on the threat ready for a fight.

It came into the picture. It was just a small, skinny, feral black cat. It hissed at me. I locked the blades back in and realized it was no threat. The cat calmed down and walked into the light, where it proceeded to begin rolling on the concrete and purring loudly. I gently petted the cat for a minute then (partial lucidity talking here.) realized I still needed to go back and get my wallet.

I headed back into the hardware store. I opened the door to the country restaurant and...

Spoiler for NSFW:

People having sex. Everywhere. Everyone had blue eyes, blonde hair and pale skin though. But there were people of a wide spectrum of ages and sizes all getting it on in this restaurant. Mostly girls, but there were some men too.

Since there was a shortage of men, some of the girls approached me and asked me if I wanted to join in. I remember I was approached by three of them. Though the one in the middle who was tall, thin and very busty was easily the most attractive. I told them no but they kept trying to seduce me.

I didn't want this to end as a lowly sex dream. I willed the woman's breasts to shrink and they did, all the way down to a completely flat chest. She looked down and screamed. Her limbs flailed around randomly kind of like a cartoon or a garry's mod animation and she floated in the air screaming in terror. She spun around the room two or three and flew out a window. The other girls ran away too.

I found my wallet right on a table next to three people humping each other.

I tried to go back outside but instead find myself in another room. The entire room looks like a large square sauna with mats all along the edges. There are four big square pots filled with bamboo in each corner. There is a step or terrace all along the wall with mats layed out it. There is a back door that is well hidden in the motif of the wall, but I can see it there.

Three more girls approach me in the same kind of formation, but they're actually wearing clothes this time. What they are wearing actually looked like a version of Manei's tribe outfit, only white with blue details. Or at least two of them were. She too had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked like a younger version of the girl who's boobs I had removed a minute ago.

The one on the right was very short and had buzz-cut hair. She couldn't have been more than 13 or 14. The one on the left was short, but she looked much different. She had black hair and green eyes.

"Hi, we're your fan club. I'm the president." Said the tall one.

"What are all those other people out there?"

"They're your other fan club. We are better because we celebrate you for your philosophy and beliefs. They only celebrate you for... well... other reasons. "

The black haired girl got cheery and said she wanted to show me something. She pulled out these paintings she had made of me on parchment. They were really good. All of them had chinese/japanese/koren characters on them. I asked myself for a moment why dreams seem to associate me so closely with oriental culture.

I then rememeber while we were along the back wall someone opened the not-so-secret door. It was another blonde haired blue eyed girl. She had some black hair in her hand.

"I have some of your hair." *giggles*

She slowly receded back into the shadowy room that lay beyond and slowly closed the door.

"Okay, you're not creepy at all..."

The short haired girl came over to me and started tugging on my arm. She was much shorter than me, to the point where I had to get down on my knee to look her in the face.

"If eyes are windows into the soul, then what do I see in yours?" She asked.

I was about to say something back and I woke up.

Spoiler for Long Side Notes:

So I've been thinking a lot about lucid dreaming lately. Though I didn't expect to actually have a lucid dream last night. (much less recall anything.) I did not go to bed until around 1:00 in the morning. (So a pleasant surprise to wake up to something like this.) I've been trying to get in the habit of both meditating and practicing Taekwondo every day.

That considered, maybe this is why dreams choose to represent me as an oriental? It makes sense in the regard.

Additionally I consider the fact that I began Taekwondo lessons at right around the same time that I first began learning lucid dreaming techniques. When I was in that early phase of heavy learning, I might have made an unconscious association with the two. This may explain why other aspects of my personality are not as often represented in dreams.

It could also be more representative of my philosophy, since I don't abide by any one religion or philosophy, though most of my principles were founded on Buddhist ideas. I remember last night my friend S spent the night, he was talking about how upset he was at the thought that we might one day never be friends. I told him that from the day I met him, I had accepted the fact that one day we would not be close anymore. I allowed myself to be attached to him, but never to the point that the loss would seriously hurt me. He apparently hadn't done the same thing, but was understanding of me, as good friends should be.

I explained to him how everything in life is just a phase. Nothing lasts forever. One day, I will stop coming on Dreamviews. One day, I will move to a new home. One day, my parents will pass away. Etc. Even when I was a young child, I simply accepted the fact that I would one day die.

When I was meditating, I thought for some unusual reason, about Jonathan. I was asking myself about what he was meant to represent in my dreams. I'm not sure why I was putting so much thought into a dream character who is no longer really around. I guess I figured that just because a phase of your life is over, doesn't mean you cant still learn from it.

I couldn't figure out of he was just a dream nemesis or a dark dream guide with a sort of tough love philosophy. I figured the idea was that some dream guides can be like very close supportive friends who are at your back while others push you and challenge you by opposing you. But how is that helpful to someone like me who often very frustrated with their own underpreformance and is always pushing themselves? People like me don't need that kind of support, it just frustrates us more.

Regardless of what role he was meant to play, it never seemed like Jonathan 'clicked' into it. If he was a dream nemesis, he didn't do a very good job of making me dislike him or afraid of him. If anything, I was intrigued by him. I wanted to know why he did what he did. If he was meant to push me, then his purpose was undermined for the reason stated above.

Jonathan was, if I recall correctly, some kind of vampire or demon. He was meant to represent something evil or unlikeable.

I always judged the rate and memorability of a dream characters' appearances as a gauge of their importance. It only makes sense that a dream that shows you a character more often must mean the character is more important. This is why I spend so much time on Manei and comparatively less on the other characters. (I probably spend more time considering her actions than those of all other characters combined.)

Though if we use the rate of appearance to judge how important a character is in a dream, then I am neglecting one very critical fact. I am a character in these dreams as well.

Anyways, at this point, I feel like I am just rambling in the sake of rambling, and other activities are calling to me. If you can find a point in everything I just said, then that's better than I could have hoped for.

#456- DILD - 4:49AM

Hell. Why not? A lucid is a lucid. I have had vivid dreams all week and last night was no exception, but I'll be very brief.

I had a very long dream segment were an alien shape-shifting life form wanted to have sex with me and promised to be any woman I so desired. I visualized several very sexy women and the alien obliged me, but I ended just wanting to just be with my wife. I then had two false awakenings were I was trying to "get it" with my wife, but all sorts of crazy things kept interrupting us. I eventually had to go to work and while I was staring at a blueprint, trying to solve a problem with a cable, I became very introspective and suddenly got lucid. The dream instantly began to fade and I spent a couple fuitless moments in the bardo trying to salvage the dream.

24.7.2015

lucid, non-lucid, others

non lucid fragment

I came to visit one guy, we were talking about something and then I decided to sleep in his house (maybe I missed last autobus or similar reason, don't remember why)

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non lucid fragment

I remember some fragments of probably non-LD from this morning. In that dream I find myself a job and tomorrow it starts - I even told myself ,,wait I already has a job,, I was still nonlucid (nothing unusual about 2 jobs anyway...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DEILD(?)

This one happened shortly after the previous fragment (I think they even are somehow linked to eachother...)
I remember I am in bed trying to WILD(most likely it is DEILD) I am lying on my back and hands behind my head... I remember forming a dreaming scene (don't remember going through REM atonia which is quite unusual) after a short while I am inside a dream and I find myself in some... city? I am on city square or something... It feels a bit old-fashioned I guess. I am about to visit one church few villages away - it's a part of a ,,dream scenario,, I am doing it because of not so perfect lucidity obviously... so I start my long journey (I am going there on my own - no cars etc...) decided to fly there which worked perfectly - know that I have usually big problems with flying in my LDs but this time it goes just perfectly - I m flying there with very high speed and almost no effort. In just a several seconds up to half minute I have done half of my journey... but for some reason I unvoluntarily wake up. Dream crashes and I am finding myself in the same position as I made the dream... (I know, that english is horrible, sorry about that) oh and this is my sleep position when I DEILDed/WILDed https://www.google.sk/search?newwind...fCmz3YA48HM%3A

Lots of pee wakings, drank a full cup of water before bed, but it was actually probably the two cups of green tea a few hours before bed that caused me to wake up a lot.

earlier, about 5 hrs.

+ night baseball: I observe some fielding, (the 2nd baseman ran all the way to left field?). I'm heading out to the pitcher's mound, I'm taking 3 (softballs?) with me to the mound. I think I should give the other team one of the balls so they can practice, I hold it up and gesture towards them, and toss it to them.

I pick up a bat (I'm still on the pitcher's mound?) and prepare to swing at the pitch, I feel weak like I can't swing strong, I hit the ball but it's a weak line drive, I run for first base and just barely beat the throw but it's not clear where first base is, the lines are not clean and there's no bag there. I may in fact be off the base. The firstbaseman and a coach (sounds like Kyle Chandler?) are discussing this but I just ignore them and nobody tells me I'm out so I prepare to run for second. I think that I should be running as soon as the pitch is thrown. (I'm thrown out at second?)

+ doing an app with "wife" (not waking life wife): we're in a small office, wife's upset because the app is not going so well, I think it was probably a bad idea to go into the app business together with my wife. I speak in a reassuring manner and try to calm her down.

+ LD #128: childhood home, start in sister's room?, walk to parent's room, I think my dad is sleeping here by himself while my mom is sick, I notice he's moved the TV and other things to block off the deck-side of the room, I walk back in to my sister's room, my mother says that (some person's name) went to the Soviet Union and didn't like it, and her tone of voice suggests it was a stupid thing to do. I ask her what year he went, she answers 1987, and I say "well of course, if he had gone later he probably would have liked it a lot better."

I see spread out on the bed for me is my old GoodWill cheesy disco shiny/rayon fish shirt and a bright red patterned tie. I think I do not want to be wearing this shirt when I hear of my mother's passing away, if I'm at work when I hear the news I'll have to take it off and wonder what my coworkers will think of that.

(Entering the room again?) my mom tells me that she wants me to listen to a recording. I know it's a recording she made at night and probably shows ghost sounds. It begins with a loud sound and this is shocking. Then Then I hear a voice say something like "take this stack of books" and I get full-body goosebumps: I think I've heard this somewhere before and it must be a ghost talking! I get a vague impression of a ghostly transparent stack of books floating at me and I think I may have tried to take a book from the stack.

Then the recording becomes too quiet/unclear, and I ask my mother to turn it up, she doesn't answer, and I sit up on the bed and I keep practically screaming for her to turn it up, that I can't hear it. I notice my mom is not in the room. I start to stand up and suddenly stop and get the idea I may be dreaming. I'm pretty sure I am. I do a slow, methodical nose pinch and I can breath easily.

Now fully lucid I leave behind the whole ghost recording scenario, giving it a final fleeting thought as I leave the room and start to plan what I want to do. As in most dreams I immediately head down the stairs. As I walk down the stairs I think of trying more TOTM, then I suddenly remember my long-term LD goal: narrate the dream ala ~Dreamer~. I'm so happy that I've finally remembered to narrate the dream! Then I forget all about doing it haha. I'm more concerned about stabilization and engaging the dream. I rub my hands and look down to see them rubbing but there's not a strong sensation.

I get down almost to the bottom of the stairs where I can see into the living room. It's quite dark, like early morning, about 30% light. I think about using dream control to brighten the dream but don't. I decide to engage the environment and reach out and place my hands on the stair railing, and it comes into a clearer focus and I start to look at it closely and experience the feeling of it and then I have a slow fade to awake. Argh!

Awake for a while. Trying to sleep for about an hour, not making any progress, go online for about an hour. The cat is jumping around my room in a frenzy because it sees birds flying outside the window, so I banish it to the porch and try to get back to sleep. I'm doing a slight bit of SSILD, mostly just relaxing breaths going deeper each breath, and soon I fall asleep again for between one and two more sleep cycles! BTS success, yay yay yay!

later:

A really odd series of situations. They went on for a while but memory is mostly fragmented. Almost all happen in some vague large open room.

+(f) I'm looking at a magazine. It's not NSFW . But some girls come in to the room and giggle at me, thinking it is a NSFW magazine because I'm turning it sideways some of the time. I think they're annoying.

+(f) I wake up in bed(?) in this room and my (wife?), a few friends, and my best friend MR is there. I'm really surprised to see MR, what's he doing here? It's my birthday?

+(f) I'm trying to crawl back to this room, I'm in a house's attic crawlspace. There is construction material piled in places around. I'm holding on to the rafters pulling myself along. I think the room's been blocked but I manage to make my way back.

+(f) bunch more stuff going on in this room, forgot...

(Look at me, being a lazy ass and not transferring my dreams from my notebook to this dream journal here. Phhhft.)

CD 5 post-AF pre-O

I worked at an oddities shop that had lots of interesting dusty things laying about. I came across a little mirrored jewelry box (it looked like the black one I got in South Korea) and noticed that if you looked into the mirror, it would hypnotize you. The mirror would start to glow orange-y and your eyes would too. It took control of your mind and made it some kind of slave. I was the only one who could withstand it because of all my mental disorders fucking my mind up, so when I looked into it, I could feel it circling my mind but unable to get in. It felt nice, like a high, so I just did it for fun. People started hearing about the mirror, and they all wanted to come to the shop to try it. When they came in, I'd take them to the back room while telling them how much I loved looking into it and they would try to withstand the mind control. If I saw their eyes start glowing, I'd pull the mirror away and they'd snap out of it. Everyone loved doing it since it felt so nice. At one point I went out to get something to eat, burritos, and when I came back, someone had looked into it without me there to pull them away, so everyone was freaking out and had no idea how to pull her out of it.

I was flying along a fence, terrified, running away from some horrible monster. As I'm flying, I realize that I'm dreaming and go lucid, so I keep flying forward and then shoot up into the sky, going higher and higher. I flew high past tall trees with many branches that were barren, and when I got super high I hesitated and then I wound up falling and couldn't stop. I closed my eyes right before I hit the ground... but there wasn't an impact. The closed eyes the dream unstable when I opened them, so that was a dumb thing to do. So I was sitting on the grass and I looked up and Seru was just kinda standing over me, I guess he caught me. I watched as he just stood there, looking around defensively like he was trying to protect me from something, and that's when I remembered the horrible thing that had been chasing me, and Seru was attempting, quite successfully, to keep it away. The dream was still pretty unstable, but I remembered a sensory technique involving focusing on all five senses, so I laid down in the grass and focused. The feel of the cool grass beneath me. The foresty noises of birds and shaking branches. The humidity. The look of all the trees and birds. The smell, but I couldn't smell any forest smells even though I tried... None of it was working. All the while Seru was standing there, now watching me with this expression like he was waiting for me to do whatever silly thing I was attempting. He also looked kind of pissed... then I realized he was annoyed because I was laying down, and I remembered that was a stupid as hell thing to do in a dream because it anchored you to your waking body. So yeah, I woke up.

After over a year, dreaming has caught my attention again because I meditate every day (for about 2 weeks now)

a few days ago I was taking a nap. Because of more awareness and sleep deprivation I was able to fall asleep without drifting entirely away. I couldn't move and realized I must be sleeping, but I forced myself to wake up because I thought I heard steps

I decided to wait if I get a similar experience in the next few days.

Today I took a nap too, again with sleep deprivation. I was falling asleep and forced myself to stay in control. It was a little bit like WILD I guess, but I couldn't quite control everything when I was dreaming, the clarity and vividness were below average and the duration was ridiculous.

I remember being in the ocean at first. I knew I was dreaming so I tried to dive and breathe water. It worked, but not as good as I expected. I was floating underwater and observing a reef. I forgot that I was dreaming for a few moments, but I remembered it again when I saw a cat with a jetpack. I normally don't dream about such unrealistic things, but this time I did *shrugs*

I tried to make the cat-dream go away, took me about 20 seconds until I was on a street in a friendly looking neighborhood. Except there were huge weapons in every garage. I even had to destroy 2 weapons because they seemed to want to kill me when I stepped on their property. I didn't quite have control over this dream, I was however able to remember that it's just a dream and I was able to just walk away from the deadly weapons. I walked over to a guy who sold some random things, and I remembered that people in dreams often say interesting things, so I tried to talk with him. I didn't say anything, I just stared at him and expected him to say something but he simply stared back. I was trying really hard to make him say something, but then I woke up.

I might take another nap after my daily meditation and see if I can continue this dream.

#455 - DILD - 1:12AM

I am on a haunted pirate ship and become lucid. I try to sink the ship by biting sections of it, but eventually find the remainder of a dead body. My wife helps me take the body out as I find the teeth in my mouth. I spit them out and wake up.

I am trying to ship from some type of pirate ship. I have an encounter with a ghost that doesn't seem too scary, but then another ghastly one pops out of a wall and scares me. I jump back and find myself on the shore. I see P from work and I say something about only being able to take that in small doses. My heart is racing and take a moment to calm down. I notice that I am holding book and must have had my head in there. I actually enjoyed having such a vivid fright now that it's over.

I walk down a long deck and get back on the pirate ship. I need to find the source of the haunting so all of this will stop. I think maybe I should sink the ship, but as I am walking around the deck I realize that I must be dreaming. The dream almost fades here, but I focus visually on the ocean and the dock below. Everything becomes much more vivid and I continue on my way.

I wonder around many areas of the ship still caught up in the plot and trying to find a way to end the haunting. I see a section of piping coming out of a wall and wonder if I could just eat the ship apart. I bite the piping several times, but only feel as though me teeth pass through and clamp down on nothing. I give up and wonder to the aft of the ship.

My lucidity slips and I somehow find myself standing outside the ship and I open it like a car trunk. Water spills out along with bags of human remains. There is blood and gore mixed in and I decide that if we free this poor person the haunting will stop. My randomly shows up and helps me out. As some point I stop because I somehow get the corpse's teeth in my mouth. I spit them out with gooey blood into the water. I'm in shock as I watch the teeth float with globs of blood as I start to wake up.

Another super long dream about a boy meeting with Godzilla, but the police want to control the meeting. I help the boy try to avoid the police as Godzilla comes on a train. There is a confusing run from the cops and the boy gets away, but I am caught. I sit in a chair surrounded by some tough looking guys. They tell me this is my life now and I accept it.

My wife wants to buy a house, but we have some agreement to stay a night before we decide. The more I look my more ridiculous things I find wrong with the house. I make the decide not to buy the house and my wife is very upset. I tell her that I might be able to over look a few things if it wasn't in town. I push the point that we need to actually sell our house first.

Lucid for a second
Some time ago...last year...

After practising reality checks for a while...the reality check was usually looking at my hands and counting my fingers.

I do this test in a dream a couple of times on different nights. One time I realise I am dreaming but then lose it a second later, next time I count more fingers than I should have but then convince myself I am not actually dreaming! This happens in about two other dreams...I almost realise I am dreaming, I do the reality checks, but then I don't take myself seriously and even though I see something abnormal like six fingers I don't believe I am in a dream.

On reflection, I think I was not doing reality checks correctly and they had become a habit and reflex action rather than a point of true focus and questioning. I was so used to doing them like a chore throughout the day that that's all they became in a dream and didn't alert me to anything different

Lucid For Another Second Some time in April this year while away on holiday

I almost become lucid... I am sitting talking to my friend in one of our favourite locations and I realises that the context is wrong. Hang on, I can't be here, because I am still on holiday in a different state, I think. The dream is really clear and focused, more focused than they usually are. But I don't do anything about this realisation that they context is wrong because I then wake up - perhaps the realisation actually woke me up or perhaps there was a noise in the room.

My first lucid dream (?) 14/6/2015

After joining Lucid Academy. Lucid Academy - Harnessing the Power of Lucid Dreaming
This course didn't have any profound new information, but the way it was set out was the first thing that actually motivated me to actually stay with the practices. Sean Kelly tells us it is a mistake to just look at whether we Lucid Dream or not as whether we have succeeded or not. Instead we need to focus on all the small ways we have succeeded eg. beginning to remember more dreams, dreams becoming more clear etc. even if we hadn't actually had a lucid dream. His positive approach really had a big influence on me in terms of motivation - he gets you to focus on the fact that you will lucid dream - it is inevitable if you keep doing the work, and to look at it as you are already half way there just by taking an interest in lucid dreaming and overcoming certain initial obstacles.

About two weeks in I had been doing the practices he recommends - writing down my dreams, remembering them every night, setting intentions before bed, doing 10+ reality checks per day, changing the symbols that remind me to do the reality checks, learning and understanding more about prospective memory.

I woke up after around 8 hours of sleep...more than I usually get. I got up went to the bathroom etc. Then I wrote down my dreams, went back to bed and thought strongly about the last dream, seeing myself becoming Lucid. (MILD).

I fell into a dream:

I woke up after having another dream (I am 'awakening' in a dream) and peered at my alarm clock on my bedside table, trying to read the time. (In 'reality' my clock wasn't sitting on the bedside table but across the room on my bookshelf). My eyes feel so blurry with sleep that I can't read the time properly.

Next think I know, I'm in the car with D. We are driving somewhere - to a restaurant for dinner. I push the seat back down to lie back as I am really tired. It is D's car. I close my eyes and doze for a bit. When I open them D is still driving but we are in my car??

Next I am back at my house sitting at the table writing down my dreams in my dream diary. D's mate B is there about to head off after a day's work. I look at the time...it is now around 8:30pm at night. Huh? When I was in the car it was evening, so the rest of the night and then a whole day has passed.
"Wait, wait" I stop everyone (My mum is there, D is there and B is there).
"What is happening? I Can't remember what happened tonight, or today" I say. "How did it go from morning to night?"
I sit there very confused and feel a strange sensation wash over me as I try really hard to remember. Everything is a blank. What happened before....there is nothing but a blank like I've never had before. Complete blank

I KNOW before I even do a reality check that I am dreaming. Everything seems to slow down and it's as if an inner voice whispers "you are dreaming". I look at my hand and it's blurry. I look again and count the flinger and there are more fingers than I usually have. I do the palm push and my fingers don't actually go through but when I look at my hand again there is a thumb, and then two fingers sprouting off my index finger!

"I'm dreaming!!!" I half expect to be woken up by the realisation but I seem to be keeping my cool.

When I look up I'm in some kind of outside market. The stalls are very close together so that it is like a maze walking through them. I'm still lucid - I can feel a pressure on my body and it's as if it's hard to walk (it reminds me a bit of the feeling of being stoned - feeling a pressure from all around me). I don't like the crowded market place - I don't want to waste my time shopping when I am dreaming and the place is a bit scary.

I close my eyes (or do I?) and think *take me to the pyramids* I open them but I am still there in the market place!!! What?
I try again, harder, but it doesn't work.
I look up at the moon above my head and try to jump up towards it. I do jump higher than I normally would and with a feeling of lightness - floating down rather than thumping down. And yet I can't seem to get higher than that, and I feel a strong pressure especially around my ankles and wrists as if I am wearing invisible shackles. They are making all my movements hard.

I look up at the full moon again and say/think HIGHER SELF NOW (which is a technique that is supposed to help if you are astral projecting).

Suddenly the moon is rushing towards me (it appears to be rushing towards me but actually I am flying fast up towards it I think). I stop up high somewhere. There is something above my head blocking me.
A deep voice (higher self??!) talks to me and tells me things I can no longer remember. Not particularly good things.
A list materialises with some of these things - they are not necessarily bad things either but I am a little scared and confused - this doesn't have the good feeling of 'higher self' I imagined, in fact there is definitely something off. I realise I am in a cage! It is like I am in a dungeon that is high in the sky. It's damp and the cross hatched iron gate is covered in green slime. I don't panic but look out the gate. I hear a gruff voice bark orders for the men to pack up and go - getting the ladies out on the way. I find myself released out it to a room where women are packing fresh fruit and vegetables to take with.


There are definitely a lot of questions that this experience raised for me. In terms of symbolism there is definitely some interesting indicators of feeling trapped/helpless/restricted. However I think the last part of my dream was influenced by a book that I was reading before bed about how when Emperors died in Ancient China the Empresses were moved into a monastery and it felt like a prison to them after the royal life they were used to.

Around about the time after travelling to the moon I think I lost lucidity, but I can't pinpoint where. When I woke up from this I was confused as to whether or not I had actually lucid dreamed. For so long I thought I would have the experience, and wake up excited but I woke up feeling confused and mixed. I told my partner about my experiences and he said "you don't sound very excited about it. If you have to question it it's not a lucid dream." (He bases this on his 3 short lucid experiences.
I feel like it was a lucid dream I realised it was a dream, did a test, and kept control of my thoughts for the next little while. I had a much greater body awareness/sensation.

But why was it so hard to pinpoint where I actually lost lucidity?
Why was it so hard to control my environment?
Did my past experience on weed (only ever done 2 times) influence how I felt or expected to feel?

I noticed something was different while standing in my bedroom and I did a nose reality check and realize that I was dreaming. I proceeded to walk to my front door step outside in this dog reminded me of my dog when I was a child came to greet me. I petted the dog for a little while then the dog was off to do what he was doing. Then these two other aggressive dogs approached me out of the blue and started to attack me, I was not scared because I knew I was dreaming and they could not hurt me. They bit and chewed on my arms for a little bit but as I accepted that they soon disappeared without a trace. I thought to myself that the whole objective of this lucid dream is to remain calm and stabilize the dream exploring the surrounding environment. I tried to stay aware and as relaxed as possible as I walked around the apartment complex observing the people and the differences in the environment. As I approached the main road the task of the month popped into my mind so I plan to visit a restaurant if I could. This did not happen because I felt as if my physical body was becoming tense thru excitement of just thinking about completing the task of a month. At this point the dream faded but then reappeared with me lying down feeling my physical body observing a dream environment with the tree overhead. It was very interesting to be in my physical body while observing completely a dream environment .

I realized I was dreaming when I was walking in a school area. There was a lot of people around and I noticed they were wearing soccer outfits from Korea. I saw my friend Andre in the background and approached him saying whats up man haven't seen you in a while. He looked really young and he had his beard shaved. I tried to hang out with them but he ignore me anymore walked off doing something else. Immediately I had the thought of a horse I look to my left and there was a horse. I thought since I can do that maybe I shall try manifesting something else. So I looked up to the sky and wished for the Hindu God from to appear. Nothing happened so I started walking away from the school in the damn night light sky. I thought maybe I should use this vast night sky to practice sky gazing meditation.

I woke up a 7:10 am and quickly went back to sleep and automatically entered a Ld.

I was in a shopping mall and I remembered my mission and started looking for Gabriel. I screamed at the top of my lungs:
- Gabriel, Where the fuck are you? I need answers.
Then a random guy came towards me and asked me to follow him.

Me: Who are you?
Him: You know who I am.
Me: Give me an answer to my life, I’m getting lost.
Him: Right now, on your current life situation you have a problem. You want to make your mother happy, your father happy and yourself happy, all at the same time. You want to do these 3 things all at once, look into that.
I was baffled by his comment, left me thinking.
So he took me to a room where a very particular lady was. She had very long blue hair, white colored and reminded me of a small fairy.
Him: This is your lucky charm. She follows you everywhere and there are only 16 of them in your world.
Me: Where can I find you when I wake up? I asked her.
Me: How can I contact you when I’m awake?
No one answered ...
Him: Alright, let me take you to a special place, hold my hands and we will travel.
He started to open some kind of portal and the room went black,
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? I WOKE UP, shit.

(Excuse the messy Journal writing.It was done fast)
I was on my bed creating a music on a music box type of item. There were a few girls around in pajamas congratulating me for making such beautiful music. Even my mom. But than i started thinking about how i want to dream of dawn. I closed my eyes and lay down than appeared outside a house. Where a girl with red/orange spiky hair was in. I wanted to touch her hair and was pulled in by curiosity. I had come in with googles in my hand an was told by the girl that i could play with her. Oddly i felt today was the day of a tragedy event. We were playing around in the colorful park like field that was in the house when suddenly i had the urge that i should go cause i wanted to find Dawn. There were two boys there present and a mom who was telling the girl that it was time to leave. I lost lucidity and felt like the boys took my camera. I ran after them and they mentioned how they didn't have it. I went back and found it somewhere. After that i think i appeared on a bed than thought of Dawn.

After thinking of Dawn i appeared in what looked like the same place i was in before. Dawn came too but didn't seem interested. For some odd reason the place changed into a big bathroom and i asked him to brush his teeth with me. He said no because i was going to try and get him in the shower with me. Thats when things started to turn into a clothing store. I wanted to pick out interesting, cool clothing for Dawn but as i was choosing he walked away to kiss a girl. I told a girl dc near me how Dawn was being super annoying ignoring me when i was going to choose clothes for him. I followed him and some others and the place became a huge mall with orange/brown covered walls. We were trying to find our way around together but than Dawn didn't want to go with me the way i was going. He wanted to go the other way with the girl. I decided to leave them be and ranted to a somewhat fat guy dc that was with me.

He mentioned how dawn was just being a (insert word i forgot here). Than we ran around some stairs with a kung fu old guy behind us trying to teach us something. The big guy got too excited though and ran too fast around. He made the stairs jump and broke a step. We ran to tell security about the broken stairs but a girl dc came back saying that they were just lining people up and not listening.I went up to the person she talked to than the person who ran the place and he mentioned how i explained it a lot better cause he understood now. After that we walked away and i ended up walking behind my family,some people i dont know and it was in a city place. My mom mentioned about how one of the people there was carrying a money bag and i felt my head because the back part was hurting a bit. When i woke myself up my neck was hurting because of the bun on my head or because it was turned in a uncomfortable position. I'm fine now though.^^