nightmare

#1 Racing through Trackmania-like obstacles, loops and such, but with speedboats. My classmates appeared as my opponents for this year's annual race, which happened to take place on a very nice and sunny day. After being the first to complete the track on water, with my classmates right behind me, we left our boats and ran onto land. The race went into a big abandoned hotel. As I entered the building, I noticed it was very dark. Looking out of its windows, it appeared that it had now suddenly turned night. A few light bulbs lit up the labyrinthy corridors here and there, but not even enough to cover half of the shadows. I heard a lot of strange noises, and saw some shady figures, but never got a clear sight of what was hiding, just waiting for us to approach. One of my classmates clung to me, which I found was somewhat an annoyance. We went up a flight of stairs and to the left, where we were met by the moans and screams of something that had just started chasing us. I didn't get a look at it before it came out of the darkness, but I had an idea of it being a humanoid creature, possibly similar to what one might find in the Dead Space games. We ran for our lives back past the flight of stairs, where I now noticed a set of numbers, but this time we ran to the right. I passed a chair which had a body in it, laying completely motionless and in a position as if it had plumped down from the ceiling in a lying position and just landed on the chair (arms sticking out to the sides, legs stiffly in front of the chair, sitting off the edge of the chair). I didn't have the balls to look it in the face to find out whether it was alive, or if it was one of my classmates - knowing it could suddenly spring up and scare me - so I just ran past it. We figured the set of numbers was the place we had to go for the race, but we didn't get a specific letter (the hotel had some special mirrored room-number system so the right half had the same room numbers as the left half), so we weren't sure whether we had to run back to the left of the flight of stairs or take the door leading out to the fire escape. We decided not to go back to the creatures, and just wanted to get out of that hotel. When we got outside, it was indeed night time. We got to the ground, and noticed the host of the race as well as the remaining participants sitting in the lobby watching an old movie on a projector. Apparently three classmates were lost in the hotel and the race was called off.

I woke up after this part, but it continued in another dream.

#2 The host and I went to search the hotel for the missing classmates. As we entered each room, the host had to do something with his briefcase before we could continue, often resulting in a creature creeping up on us and scaring the shit out of us by screaming from behind when we least expected it. I was scared shitless of creatures hiding somewhere in the rooms we entered, such as behind curtains, in the bathrooms, or behind the bathroom curtains, so I checked every possible hiding spot. We never found the missing classmates.

After going to bed late and waking up quite late during the weekend, I decided to restart my biological clock, taking melatonin supplement (3mg also has a small amount of B6). It turned out to be quite a vivid night and morning after, some brief LD including.

Dream1: So, I in my dream me and some other DC were running away as fast as we could from this other person, DC, that morphed into a guy from my uni. We were running inside a building but then we reached a dead end, there was no door to go through, so we just had to go back. There the DC chaser was standing blocking something that looked like a sliding door from my wardrobe years ago. After finding a card on which some numbers appeared, I assumed these numbers were pointing to some kind of exit. I entered into a room which initially was a toilet (subconscious giving me signs again), with numbers above the different sections. A guy came in and I let him have his privacy. It turned out that the number was hanging above one of the toilet seats. How am I supposed to run away passing through it? (Though I’ve done so one or two times). At this time, the room transforms completely, and there is a bed where the toilets used to be. I feel that the chaser is coming as I try to close the door to the room. The other guy that was doing his job in the toilet starts to act creepy and roars, which really has a terrifying effect on me. Then, I remember that I should have more confidence when I am chased, so I try to overcome my fear and send a ripple of “go-away” intention. Though it was a very weak ripple, it seems to have worked, because both nasty characters suddenly disappear. I try to barricade myself in the room by putting some chairs against the door. I continue to have the feeling that he is coming. Then I manage to awaken from this unpleasant dream.

Dream2: I was walking down a western-looking city, which in my mind was Cologne. As I was pondering how much the place has changed, I ran into an old friend from school. We happily greeted each other, and then I continued on my way. I was going down the street, looking at some street stalls, where they were selling really beautiful and strange looking scarves. I wanted to buy one, and it was quite cheap, some cost 7, some cost 8, written as large numbers in front of them. I continued walking, the street seemed to be elevated, and it became darker towards the end, I guess I continued walking till I had entered a building at the end of the street. I was inside a home, when I realized I was dreaming. I just looked around what seemed to be magnificent furniture in Asian style. I tried holding the view of items around me, but when I moved to the next room, some dream entity was trying to interact with me, with a touch of aggression, distracting me and I soon sank into unconscious dreaming.

Dream3: I was sitting on a table with a number of women (40-50 yrs of age maybe), discussing the part that I was being chased, and how I tried to get rid of the my chasers , and why it partially worked. I was amazed how we were all sitting there, in my mind those were not mere DCs but rather inorganic being projections and I told them I marvelled that. The woman in front of me said that she was not actually inorganic but a type of tree. I knew I saw her as a person because I filtered everything through the human form. I asked her “So you come here when you are sleeping”. I can’t remember if got a reply from her. Then the paranoia of the night came back and we had to leave because I had the feeling that somebody might be coming. Thankfully, nobody was. The scene moved into another dream where we, don’t know who that we is anymore, went to this Chinese museum. We paid but I wasn’t really sure if we will have the time to see all that was there. In the museum everything was accessible, there were a lot of Buddha figures, small ones, golden, or covered in some shiny paint, also some ancient objects, which the women of the time used to put their make up in, as if they were shells, really beautiful things.


Mood after initial wake: fear
Mood after final wake: uplifted, happy

Original entry dated Feb. 16, 2002:
Regarding several dreams taking place over a period of time:

I had a dream that D__ and I went to buy a new bike. I was gonna trade in my old one. I wound up with a pink one with this weird little engine-thing attached. Anyway, where we lived was this scary supernatural world. Like, the laundry room - nobody went in after dark. If you opened up three of the washers, you'd find creepy, on the verge of horrifying, things. But if you opened the fourth washer, you saw something so incredibly and awesomely terrible that NOBODY was willing to go anywhere NEAR that washer (much less open it). There was a little girl ghost in a bonnet who would wander around collecting change for my laundry for me, and I always warned her not to go into the laundry room at night, and to go nowhere near the fourth washer. Anyway, back to me. There was this weird... like... demon overlord dude who masqueraded as an eight year old child with ice-blue eyes and white hair. When the kid died through some freak accident, he decided that he was gonna make the world a really shitty place. He specifically tried to hurt my friends and me. There was also a house called "Harriet's House", which was a museum of sorts. It was now a Londonesque sort of home, but used to be an asylum type place with torture chambers. People would go on tours through there, but were warned before they did. The proprietor was a tall African American lady with her hair drawn back in a bun. She wore a brown sort of pilgrim-looking dress. The rest of the dream was pretty blurry.

I also had a dream that I worked for a company that produced video-games. We were in direct competition with another company that an ex-friend of mine worked for. It all sort of sucked. It wasn't so much scary as really depressing, and I can't remember most of it, except that the rival company stole our hit title idea.

Well... this was an interesting night. The first thing I'd have to say I noticed was that all of my dreams took place at home. And not a home rendered wrongly or somewhere else perceived as home, just my regular old house. Doesn't seem like that happens too often with this many dreams, but it's probably just a coincidence.

Anyway, this time I took 50 mg of zinc at 9:30 and smoked some calea at ~10:00, and then I smoked more for technical WBTBs at 5:22 and 7:40, according to my phone log. This night actually started out very unpleasant.... I passed out with my laptop in bed and must have fallen asleep on my arm at a weird angle, because around like 2-3 in the morning I had this odd hypnagogia of orange dots in a grid setup expanding to orange circles with a weird hissing sound, and then I woke up with a high level of anxiety and very extreme right arm pain. I freaked out and ran to the bathroom to inspect myself and my whole perception was going hazy and getting really bright, and I ended up taking a couple Librium pills as well, which are chlordiazepoxide, a close relative of diazepam, or Valium, hoping to calm myself down. Like half an hour to an hour after that, I woke up again with a lot of stomach discomfort and had a very uncomfortable bathroom visit, which I blame on all the pizza I ate yesterday and the day before.

That was finally the end of the festivities though, and I hadn't had any actual dreams before all of that, so after I fell asleep again from that point on is where my night really began.

#1 - I wondered when this would happen again. [Non-Lucid]

I don't remember how exactly, but I met a girl and I want to say her name was Jessica (and I was looking up pictures of Jessica Rabbit cosplay last night, so maybe that had something to do with it?), and I invited her over to my house because I had some feelings for her. Once she came over, the dream continued on under the impression that we were already in a relationship together and this was the first time she was visiting my house. I can't remember exactly what it was we were doing... watching TV or playing games or something, but we were just cuddling and acting all cute with each other the whole time, and then later we were eating a meal and my dad and one of his friends were standing out on the back porch and he was peeking in to tell me some odd instructions for burying something in his room that my mom was purposely ignoring. Then I gave Jessica a tour of where our food was, the two fridges and the pantry, which were completely packed with all kinds of heavily-detailed food (influenced by the calea?), and she made some joke about the cereal that I can't recall now. I was really happy to be with her, she was really cool and collected and definitely my type, but then as we were headed to my room I woke up.

#2 - I get the reference, but... Butters? [Non-Lucid]

I believe I was waiting for a game to be delivered in the mail, when a group of policemen showed up at the front door. I barely cracked it open to talk to them, and after a little discussion they held up some chemistry glassware and told me that my dad and "my friend" (who I immediately perceived as Butters from South Park) are both hardcore cookers of random drugs and they were after them. This was very clearly influenced by the fact that I just started rewatching Breaking Bad with a friend of mine. They asked me to get him and tell him to go out back, and I went to tell him what was going on and then returned to the front door, and I started freaking out knowing that they were going to search the house because I didn't want them to find my stoner stuff too, but then I woke up.

#3 - Well this dream was pretty dark.... [DILD]

I was again in my house with my parents and a group of friends and there was some killer with a gun stalking us, she kept moving all around the house trying to get a good view of the inside through the windows so she could shoot us. My parents took my friends somewhere to hide safely while I just kept hiding around in the house in strategic places where I couldn't be seen, but where I could just barely peek out every now and then and continue to track the killer's movements. Eventually it seemed like she wasn't going to be able to get us easily, so I ran to my bathroom where there were no visible windows and met up with my parents there. I asked them where everyone was and they just laughed and told me that they weren't actually my parents, they were people that the killer payed to disguise themselves like that so they could get close to me undetected and take me out. My heart sank, and at least one of them pulled out a handgun. I had to wrestle with them until I could get one free, and then I managed to take them down and shot them both in the head multiple times to make sure that they were dead, because they kept moving. I headed back out and my memory gets a little blurry here, but somehow I managed to track the killer down from the inside and shot her too before she could shoot me.

At that point a few of my friends and some family members came out from hiding and we all were celebrating. But then this TV show came on in the living room with lots of shooting going on and will still perceived it as people coming after us, so I pick up this big machine gun out nowhere and start shooting at them, but just one shot at a time. I managed to shoot one guy and felt good abot myself, but then my cousin A, who's birthday party we went to last night (and ate pizza), just rolls her eyes and takes the gun from me. Somehow (I'm not sure if I looked away and back at her or what) she had actually entered the TV show completely and was rapid-firing at everyone and easily takes down all of them. Around this time I randomly became lucid. I actually managed to remember that I had smoked all that calea, which is really a first for me, and I decided to try to jump into the TV screen as well which was now in the area of the living room where the corners of the couches meet for some reason. I just wanted to hug A, but as I jumped my perception just zoomed in and then floated around the room for a couple seconds before restabilizing, and a couple DCs (I want to say they were my parents?) just looked at me like I was weird. I looked over and the TV was now back in its proper place and there was some Star Wars game just sitting there on the startup screen. I decided to try again with entering that game, but just as I was about to go for it I woke up.

#4 - Why couldn't we have just watched it in person? ._. [Non-Lucid]

J and Z, this girl I just met recently, came over to watch some sort of Lincoln play that was going on somewhere in my house, but we were going to watch it through random TV screens around the house instead of just seeing the actual thing. I can't remember exactly what it was about, but I know that a lot of the speech Lincoln was giving was based on that clip from a show I really can't remember the name of right now, but it's the one where it starts with the girl asking a panel of politicians why America is the greatest country in the world and the one guy goes off on this long rant about how it isn't. Unfortunately we kept changing rooms trying to get a better reception or a bigger TV screen, and we basically missed all of it. Afterward everyone was leaving, because there were a lot of people here, and J hitched a ride back to his campus (in another state ) with some girls who were going to some bar or club called "88" that was supposedly right next to it. This other big group of girls was about to leave too, but some random guy came in the house and told them that their car got towed because they didn't have a parking permit to park on the street in front of my house when there were already so many cars there, and they would've known that would happen if they had just listened to him before instead of just brushing him off. One of the guys still at the house volunteered to drive a couple of them home, and I asked where the rest of them were headed, but before they could respond I woke up.

And that's it. All of these dreams were actually pretty vivid too, so I suppose the supplements did their job.

Original entry dated Feb. 18th, 2002:

I dreamed that I woke up and pressed my hand against my forehead. My skin was moving. You know how it feels when goldfish (or any other sort of fish, except for maybe piranhas and oscars) nibble at your fingers? It felt like that - all over my forehead - dozens of tiny moist nibbles.

I got up and looked in the mirror. My forehead was covered in dozens of tiny red... mouth-things... only without teeth. Moist, cherry-red little mouths, each about the size of a pimple, gapping open and closed and each of them making tiny peeping sounds like baby chicks. I couldn't stand looking at them, or bringing my hands anywhere near my face - I just wanted to gouge them off...

...I went to the doctor, and they were apparently some sort of parasitic infection. I learned that, unfortunately, it spread really fast and through skin-contact. There was only one way to treat them, too. The doctor had to inject each mouth - individually - with an antibiotic ointment. It wasn't so much painful as disgusting. When they died, they shriveled up and fell out in tiny brown balls, leaving dozens of tiny, deep holes in my forehead.

This bat looking creature, he only looks this way though if hes been touche by light, he looks human otherwise as long as he dousent get into the light. This creature man is on our side, till my brother betrays him, because my brother dousent want me with him, it almost kills my brother. Then the bat creature goes evil. We then begin to hunt this bat man down, i have these mind powers that are very wide, so i can do a lot of things. we then find a lead, where he is hiding under a tent similar to one you would see at someones wedding reception and we go in. Its dark under the tent but its daylight, so if anything goes bad the bat man cant hunt us. Suddenly the tent goes down, my brother and everyone's gets out but i get trapped. I begin to scream and cry as i can hear this thing coming towards me, hes not in his human form but the bat form. I begin to scream to him " i love you" and he begins to sniff around my head like a dog does when you playing with it, i cry horribly loud and cry deeply. He recognizes me and takes me to where he is hiding, while i continue to cry and realize im crying because i do love him but i cant handle this other form of him. Then my brother goes and hangs him from a tree but somehow he gets free and does it to my brother and now i have to go and save him.

Alright, so this time I decided to take 500 mg of L-arginine before going to bed to see what the effect would be.... This one wasn't based so much on neurochemistry research so much as just going off of anecdotal evidence. Vivid dreams are not infrequently reported with L-arginine. My trial with it was interesting.... My first impression was that it had been unsuccessful. I awoke after roughly seven hours of sleep without memory of any other awakenings and no dream recall at all. You know, often even when you don't remember your dreams you can still remember that you experienced something, you just don't know what it was. Not so with this... I had a totally blank slate. I remembered thinking a couple things, but that's it. I wasn't even sure if those were actually parts of dreams or not. I also woke up very much "in the mood", another reported effect, so I figured that that would probably be the end of it and I wouldn't really get anything out of it because I generally have a hard time falling back to sleep in that case. Then I rolled over and passed out very quickly.

And here's... what I got.

Emotional Responses [Non-Lucid]

My memory first really steps in when I was locked in the bathroom in my house in the dark, lying in the bathtub. Probably related to the fact that I took a bath last night, but there was no water in it in the dream. The fact that it was almost pitch black makes this part of the dream a little hazy in my memory, but otherwise the dream was quite vivid. I had some memory of what exactly was going on.... Basically, there was this evil witch, or some other dark force, who was haunting our house, and she worked by using illusions to play with your emotions and lure you into her traps. I guess that's what was going on here, because there were bats flying all around the bathroom and I was freaking out. Likely inspired by the fact that I watched The Dark Knight Rises last night, too. I kept trying to imagine the bathroom door opening up hoping that it actually would somehow, and trying to get the bats to do things with my mind because I guess I realized that it was just another illusion, but it wasn't working. Finally I took a chance and overcame my fear and just ran for the door and made it out to the hallway. I met my mom there, and we both ran out to the main part of the house.

Let me give a quick description here.... At the end of this hall, immediately to the front and left is a little walkway after the front door, and just beyond that is the living room. If you go right and follow the walkway to its end you get to the kitchen and eventually the laundry room, and just beyond the kitchen in the same direction as the living room is the den. Finally, there's a bar in its own little square design placed directly in the four corners of these rooms, so you can continuously walk through all four of them without changing direction if you just walk around the bar over and over again. Got it? Alright, so basically, my mom and I went right into the kitchen and my mom started frantically searching for things on the counter. All of the lights in the house were still out except for the distant one in the laundry room, and she started telling me to look for the "seven-fruited" something.... I can't remember exactly what it was, but the point was that it would hold seven souls, or seven fragments of the witch's soul, or something like that that would basically mean that she was somehow weakened without it, and it would be actually be just some basic household object we wouldn't just have immediately suspected. My mom ended up running through the den into the living room and searching through presents or something beneath a tree that didn't look like a Christmas tree but was exactly where ours always was, and I followed her because I was afraid that she was going to get caught in an illusion somehow since she was freaking out. I started looking around the house to make sure nothing was going on since she was lost in her own world.

I stepped back on the walkway where the hall ends and looked down into the kitchen again. That's when I saw him.... My cat that just died in waking life was sitting on one of the machines in the laundry room and just staring right at me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this was wrong, but I was struck with an overwhelming desire to run up to him, and I called out to him as I did so. (Yup, I'm the dumb girl that dies in this horror movie.) As I was looking at him this weird phantom double of his face kind of burst out at me and made me feel kind of like this trance state blip, and then the scene had changed. We were in some creepy kitchen that I was unfamiliar with and I was a little nervous, but I didn't care. He was sitting on the kitchen counter now, and I ran up to him and started holding him and petting him, but something was wrong.... He felt real but he was totally still and lifeless, and his head was really turned or twisted to the side in a bizarre way. He didn't try to move or respond to anything that I did and I was becoming emotional, and then I felt this ominous feeling starting to creep up on me... but then I woke up.

I'm not sure if I'll be trying this supplement again yet.

Last night I said some mantras to try to induce a lucid dream. No such luck...I did have a quite an interesting dream though. I was in a very nice house with some important people - some kind of get together. Apparently Bill Cosby was head of the house. We were really getting along and he enjoyed my personality. He said "Come this way, I'd like to show you something." I followed him down a dark hallway and saw two large doors at the end of it. The doors were separated about an inch - enough for me to realize that there were women tied up to chairs in there! Before walking any closer I bolted out of the house. I ran down the street. It was cold out and I was in some everyday neighborhood with average looking houses. I ran up the stairs to one and banged on the door. A smaller blonde woman opened up and let me in. I said "I know this sounds crazy but someone down the street tried to attack me! I don't have a cell phone could I please use your phone!?" I remember not being able to get my words out clearly. She agreed to let me in. I sat down at the table. She had a man living with her. She was maybe in her late 20s and he looked early 40s. He was very nice. They seemed like friends. I told them both about everything going on.

Moments later we were joined by who was supposed to be the man who looked like Bill Cosby's wife. I was terrified when she entered the door. She was white, had hair a few inches above her shoulders. She was glowing and good looking for someone who was supposed to be in their 60s. We had dinner together and everything seemed fine. At the end of dinner Bill Cosby's wife said "You have it all wrong". My husband isn't the man who killed you and this is all your imagination. I panicked. Suddenly her glowing face turned back to normal which was the average face of someone her age and the woman in her 20s disappeared. She led me outside and showed me that I was laying on the ground and the man who killed me was the man I had just met in the house I ran to! How bizarre.

03.08.2013

Old Hag Syndrome (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I "wake up," incredibly thirsty. "Definitely gotta get up and get some water," I think groggily. My mouth is so dry that my tongue is practically sticking to the back of my throat.

When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is a tall, dark figure. It is a tall old woman, wearing a black hat and a big black dress. I stare at the woman calmly, fully believing that I'm really just seeing a normal object, my refrigerator maybe, and that my brain is just still half asleep and making me hallucinate. I fully expect her to disappear within a few moments.

She doesn't.

Instead, she glares directly into my eyes and lunges right at me! I let out a yelp of terror and shut my eyes. "OhmygodOhmygod I'm being attacked," I think frantically.

Then I realize that I can't move and that I've been stuck in sleep paralysis this whole time.

The realization actually makes me feel a bit better. At least now I know that the old woman isn't really real. Every time I open my eyes, I see her back in the doorway. Each time, she lunges toward me. I always close my eyes before she reaches me. Even though I know she's not real, it's still creepy as hell.

I really want to look at my clock: my one anchor to the physical world. But with the old hag constantly attacking me, I can't focus enough to do so. I have to get rid of her.

I open my eyes once more. The old woman comes toward me. I focus on speaking. "Don't. Touch. Me." It is an effort to get the words out, but I am pleased at how dangerously angry I sound. At the same time, I use an old trick of mine: I gather my fear and send it outward in an aggressive wave. The old woman halts in her tracks, stunned at my sudden retaliation.

After her initial shock, she says something along the lines of, "I will destroy you!"

"You can't hurt me," I growl in the same deadly tone.

She cackles. "Wanna bet?" She grabs ahold of my elbow. Pain radiates down my arm, but I've had worse and I only laugh.

"Even if you can hurt me, it doesn't make any difference," I taunt. "You're not real. You don't even exist."

Infuriated, she releases her hold on me and howls in rage.

"Now get away from me!" I yell. She stands in the doorway for the rest of the dream, not daring to attack again.

Now I can look at the clock. I struggle to make out the numbers: It's almost six in the morning. I've been stuck in SP for a while now, and I'm getting sick of it. SADLY, I fail to remember that I'm SUPPOSED to turn it into an LD or an OBE. Instead, I focus all my efforts into trying to wake myself up.

Nothing I do is helping. The only physical parts of me that I can control are my breathing, my eyes, and my tongue, but I can't do anything significant enough to wake myself up! Now that I'm not being attacked (and the vibrations aren't as intense as they have been), I'm getting incredibly bored and fed up with being forced to lie here not doing anything. How much longer could this possibly LAST!?

Screaming at my roommate to wake me up just results in more pointless hallucinations. So I remain stuck in SP for a while longer until I FINALLY snap out of it and wake up for real.

In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life).

In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted.

See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be.

Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it.
I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with.

Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you.

But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper.

This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me.

If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that!

In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.

I have been having a hard time recalling dreams, but this one shocked me, it was a semi-nightmare, I suppose. Now that I recalled it, it is pretty stupid now.

I'm in the computer class, and the teacher was being butthurt about me not handing it the first assignment from the last term (which doesn't exist IRL by the way) and was getting on my case all the time. For some reasons everyone in the room were from my previous school, but the room itself is something I have never seen before, and the teacher is a New Zealander who speak Thai with perfect fluency. I got him a paper and asked him to get the topic for me, but he started writing up a transfer note (AKA kicking me out of class) instead. I was distressed by this and started sobbing and bowing at his feet while he acted like a smug bitch about it. Then I woke up.

I had a dream last night that was kind of nightmarish. My coworkers Dan, Dustin, and I were all giants; like Gulliver's Travels size, so that as we waded through the ocean the waves lapped up against our knees. We were wading our way down towards Antarctica. Why? When you're that tall, why not?

We got to the south pole, and from my perspective, the entirety of the Antarctic continent was about the size of an extra large pizza with a conical shaped mountain in the center. We stood around it, gawking and joking about how small it was in person. For some odd reason, I remember dipping my finger into the waters just offshore of the continent and schools of tuna would swarm around it. They would disperse and reconvene as I raised and dipped my finger, so I did it for a little bit out of amusement.

I turned my attention back to the continent, and the was a yellow mamba snake coiled around the mountain wearing a yellow cloth hood (?). Dan and Dustin encouraged me to grab it and toss it, but I was so terrified I couldn't move (actually sleep paralysis). I tried to back away from the snake, worried it would turn around and strike, but I literally could not move because my body was still in sleep paralysis. Eventually my bod came to and in turn I awoke from the dream. Snake averted!

I'm sure some of you are tired of posts about "Cheating/Love" dreams.
But the dreams I have are so realistic, and frank that i really need answers. My great grandmother had a gift of premonition , and i was always told to listen to my dreams. Well not every single dream. But the real serious ones. Like the one i had last night ...
This dream was about us going out to a resturant to celebrate my birthday, we were walking to the resturant and suddenly he started speeding up his pace (which is something he really does in public when we're out and i hate it) so i started to get frustrated and reminded him "we are a couple, we should be walking together hand in hand". He brushed it off. Before we could get to our destination a girl caught his eye. A smiled appeared across his face, and no matter how i reacted he would stop not smiling. He then informed me that she was an ex, who he loved dearly. He went forward with saying "she loves me a lot," getting panicky i shouted "But we are in love, i love you!" He still didnt stop smiling. Then he shouted out her name "Jazz! Jazz! Jazz!" (he doesnt have an ex named jazz in reality) She kept walking, then out of no where a microphone appeared in his hand, and he continued to shout her name over the mic. I was astonished. So when he caught up with her they said their hellos, and he went in for a hug, but i stepped in the way. A bracelet he gave me latched onto her and fell off my wrist onto the ground. She picked it up and handed it to me, then walked off. He was still in a daze... i cried so hard i woke out of my sleep crying.. Ugh, i hate these type of dreams.. But should I be worried? Some of the things he did in the dream are thing he does in real life such as, brush me off when im making a point, walk ahead of me when we're out and about, and ignore me when something bothers me. I know he loves me, but i wonder if he's falling out of love with me. By the way, im 5months pregnant and it scares me to think my fiance doesn't want me. Someone Help!

Torture... person strapping people to tables... cutting them up and playing with insides... he thought he was just having fun with people... I was one of the victims.

((I had this dream a while ago, so I don't remember anything from it. I'll just put what I wrote in my DJ)) Little brother got shot, massive depression.