non-lucid

I'm in a beyond strange dream. I don't know how I can even explain this one but I'll do the best I can. I'm in some while/ cream colored place and I'm looking into a refrigerator with no light in it. It is the size of a room and I see a fish inside, swimming all around. It sees me and comes at me aggressively with its sharp teeth, I backed away, punching it and causing it to swim away. Now I'm inside the room and there is weird sounds all around and very dark and hard to see. There was a shadow near me and I ran from it only to see that there was a fight going on. Two unidentified megazords were fight in the dark, knocking things down and punching at each other. One saw me and charged at me but I dodged just as something swiped at where me head was at. The other one grabbed it and threw it up against the wall. I trip trying to run from it and ran into him. He pushes me up against the wall and leaves me. I tried to leave but trip again and this time he pounced on me and there was a window nearby where the moonlight came in and revealed that it was the Predazord. He was in his wolf form and had a scythe to my throat, once he realized who I was he immediately let me up and was looking at me with his red eyes. I began to feel all weird and would up.

I'm awake for real but let my eyes stay shut. I see Geometric, ornate shapes consisting of triangles, circles and squares. there were in a shape like a kaleidoscope and I was amazed. I moved around so that I will not drift into SP but that was a very odd dream.

19th October 2020

Fragment:

I was helping H. There was some kind of old lottery machine thing which we'd salvaged, but it had stops like an organ, almost 100 of them even though only about 50 were required. (Think that was dream intuitive knowledge)

But as H put in a dowel thing for a stop, a wasp came out (but not really, it looked like a midge) and it bit or stung him. I suggested they might all be infested and we might be better off making all of them ourselves (the stops I think) but I think H found this to be frustrating.

---

20th October 2020

Dream:

I was in Syria, Egypt or a country near these. I was at a USA military camp. Not sure how I got there in the dream but I remember it was in a valley. From the camp I could see in the distance steep, dusty, rocky mountain peaks. Toward one direction was a city of some kind on a sloped area.

It looked more like ruins or slums and I could see flags. They were black with white Arabic script on them, but also a stylised animal trailing off the script too. This area looked vast.

In the camp, I remember hearing some soldiers saying that all new troops coming in were being parachuted instead of coming in a ground march. Apparently it'd been this way since some incident with one soldier (there was a name but can't recall) where he'd been surrounded and ganged up on (by whom?).

There was a female soldier sitting and listening. She had fake blonde hair tied up in a short pony tail. She looked worried and I realised on some level she was thinking of what I'd already thought of. If this place was a valley and the camp was surrounded by mountains and refugee camps and ruins, how would all the soldiers return home?

(recall gap)

Inside some hospital. Looks normal/clean. Similar in some sense to the one in the town where I live now. Again, somewhat vast inside. There's some kind of fighting going on but it seems like it's day-to-day business here. The fighting was happening on some other level, a basement? And there was some kind of mini plot about someone being injured and having to be carried away stealthily because he wasn't local.

(recall gap)

Commanders or captains. Some discussion about charging some kind of portal in a low basement level. Something about hearing reports of the portal's destination being in the Earth's core and really hot, rocky, red and black and also impossibly flat. Some soldiers openly said they didn't want to go or something.

(recall gap)

Inside some place, still the hospital I think. Mostly sitting on the floor? By a window, it's like a cafe or something this part. Someone tells me about being able to buy things. There are items along the sill and the prices are displayed on folded pieces of card/paper like mini billboard things. Some items were puddings and others were weapons and just random crap in general.

I remember wanting some kind of dried out mousse thing, it cost 1.50. It was chocolate-y in taste and looked slightly purple but at first it just looked like a candle. (mom used to have some purple candles that smelled nice, only remembering this now)

(recall gap)

In the downstairs place. But looked like a warehouse area with certain bits having skylights or something. There were robots and now I had some kind of level-up system and there was another system that meant I could get upgrades from scavenged parts from the robots. I remember trying to create a new fully fledged robot. They were all about 3-6m tall.

---

Notes:

- The second dream was odd. The theme of war hasn't really appeared so directly or about a real context so clearly very much in the past. The dream setting and environment all had a very genuine feel to it. There was a certain amount of thematic consistency to the dream plots, for the most part.
- The black flags with white script seem to remind me of certain terrorist/rebel groups in waking life, but in the dream they were just the flag of the nation of this place. I think the animal on the flag was a lion. The American army seemed to be there mostly to provide some sort of logistical support to the ruined city/region. But obviously there was still some kind of animosity and fighting going on, but I remember no mention of who "the enemy" actually was.

- In the hospital I didn't note anyone wearing any medical equipment or the like.

18th October 2020

Dream:

In my home town. Remember going up to some hilly areas that don't quite exist. A gravelled area by the main roundabout in town too.

Then I'm with H and we go into this little house with a frosted glass door. But it also looks a bit shop-like inside. There's a fridge or something and we just start taking food from several places in here, this fridge included and putting all the food into bags (backpacks? refuse bags? not sure anymore). I think it's day time but in here it's mainly artificial light, daylight is only noticeable on the street outside. As I look to the glass door I see the silhouettes of an adult and a child and the door opens. It's the owner, I immediately realise.

He gets upset because we're apparently robbing him. But because this is a shop, I do immediately tell him that we will pay for everything we are taking. But he doesn't care and says he'll call and report us to the police. I make some kind of snide remark (about it being pointless?).

But then I end up trying to convince him more gently that we didn't mean to cause trouble or distress. He still doesn't care and refutes every single thing I try to say. Eventually he tells us he's 18. I feel some surprise at this, as I thought he looked much older than that (mid 30s/40s), especially since he had a son with him. But suddenly I understand why he'd been refuting everything; I remember and have a feeling of how I was at that age.

Eventually, we leave through the back of the house I think. I've forgotten whatever else had happened in the conversation, unfortunately.

Fragment:

Not sure where exactly, in a flat area in a town. Surfaced or paved. Meeting up with some kids, they tell me how they defeated a legion of monsters, or orcs? Something about the kids didn't feel human, exactly, but I'm not sure why or how.

---

Notes:

- I think H was mostly passive in the first dream.

I'm sitting on a bed with IT and we are talking about something. The wall to my right is a glass wall and I see the people and town walking outside. I talk about the trachea and how I could strangle him with a throwing tool I have in my hand. He seems afraid. I Keep on pushing him mentally and he becomes unstable. He goes on a rampage and throws himself under the bed. I am scared because I don't know where he might show up. I get confidence because I was able to scare him earlier. I walk of the bed and prepare to face him, thinking that I can beat him. He jumps me from under the bed with long nails, sharp teeth and his arms stretched out against me. I become lucid and try to wake myself up. He starts to tickle me and it is terrible. I wake up.

Notes: In biology we talk about the different body parts that are active during respiration, the cell, digestion and circulation. I have a test on these subjects in two days and I am nervous and should have practiced more. In the dream I use biology as a weapon.

I'm in a cellar. I'm being hunted and decide to hide in some kind of big container in a public bathroom. There comes a green slime monster and it jumps into the container and dissolves into some kind of hidious green mixture. My vision is changed to outside the container and I see the mixture is moving disgustingly. There comes a new creature in the bathroom. It is a large man without a shirt that looks brain dead. He jumps into the container and all his body contents are being pushed out from his behind until there is only a loose skin of him. His contents are not intestines as you would expect. It is diarrhea! I am inside this container but my vision is from above and I see the mixture blending with the green slime. My senses of disgust is almost making me puke and I feel horrible. But this is not the end. Monster after monster comes in and I have this afraid feeling at the same time I have this disgusted feeling. All the monsters jump in and dissolve into diarrhea and I am somehow counting how many things have jumped in and dissolved. I counted to ten. New fragment I am at a beach with Olivia, Stefan and Gabriel. We walk inside a big cabin and it is pouring rain outside. I look at the water and the big waves outside. Gabriel shows me some kind of cylinder device with many holes in the bottom. There are four clays with distinct coulors. Blue, yellow, red and green. Gabriel shows me how the clays start to rise from the holes and that I am like the red clay. The red clay is superior and rises over the other clays. He says that this is how the different clays impact on the greenhouse effect. I am proud over it and says that is the way I am (I did not think about it in the dream but there were four people in the room and four clays. Maybe each colour represented each one of us). Olivia changes the subject and we talk about going out swimming but I say it is too cold. I think in my head how warm it would have to be for me to go and swim. I start with 19 degrees celsius but end up at 25 degrees celsius.

Notes: I felt a bit stomach sick yesterday evening which may have resulted in the disgusting dream. When I woke up I was afraid to go to the bathroom because of the disgusting dream which makes it to a nightmare too. Yesterday I did some math and showed my family how we could have saved more than 1 million kr (113 000 USD) by only eating egg each day for the past 16 years. I told them it is nutritious, cheap and better for the environment than red meat. I am fighting for the environment and doesn't know why the dream me acted as if I didn't care.

I tell my family in the dining room that I am allergic to eggs but wonder if they will know I lie because I ate eggs last week.

Notes: That was weird. Why would I ever lie about that? I talked about my allergies with my friends four days ago when we ate at a restaurant.

I have accidentally married with someone I don't like in our bathroom at home. I think dad is there too. It is a double marriage because another pair is also there to marry. My newly wedded wife and I walk into my old room next to the eating room. We talk and my sense of despair disappears because she is not that bad. I walk into my mother's and father's room and there are some naked people in there and I become somewhat lucid. I feel on my face and wonder if this is a dream. I don't quite come there and the dream disappears.

Notes: In physics yesterday I wondered about how many of the girls in my class I would be okey marrying to. I didn't think anyone had the same life goals as I have and that almost none of them would enjoy 80 years with me. I thought about how our everyday life would look like and that my religion affects a lot.

I tried to WILD 03.25 (woke up naturally) and had some kind of weird experience. I had my thoughts and knew I existed. I wake up and remember a whole dream but I didn't remember falling asleep.

No Jamie dreams this week. Even though i usually have one dream of her once a week for like almost over 2 years now??? It's not unusual for a week or two to go by where she's not present. I must say I've never had a more consistent character in my dreams. Are these dreams my own obsession? Her's? or something else trying to convince me of a delusion?

Dream 1

I was moving or something. My dad came to pick me up and we started driving to my new place. at some point the car was going up a steep hill in Olds, it stopped and I started freaking out. The dream sped up and we stopped at a Tim Horton's. I had no debit or cash but I had silver coins. I was trying to pay for coffee with silver coins. There was a table with other silver coins. the till guy was an older guy and he saw me put the coins on a stack on the table. I realized that wasn't the way to pay so I tried getting my coins back.

Dream 2

Something about living somewhere with lots of extra rooms, Some were hidden.

Tried out the mantra "I am going to dream about love" to see what my uncounscious thinks love is.

I'm outside with mom. She is supposed to go breastfeeding.

Notes: Breastfeeding may be a symbol for new family members? Maybe my love is for getting a bigger family.

I'm at Håkanssons' and they have all these cars with motorboats on them. I am supposed to drive one of the cars. The boat is on the car's back and it is hanging pretty loosely. I get nervous and think it is going to fall of. We drive to town and everything is going fine.

I am in some kind of universe where everything is a sickly green coulor. My cousins H and Therese are there. We talk about how this is heaven but there is some kind of other heaven that we want to go to. We don't know how the other heaven is, if it is actually better but we just want to go away from this heaven.

Notes: I had some discussions with my friends about what comes after this life two days ago.

I'm in a sofa with two other boys in my age. One of them is a person from my english class. There comes a camera person and we are supposed to record a short movie. The two boys go and sit upside down in the sofa so their heads are pointing down and their legs are up in the air. The camera person goes and record them from a high perspective and films down on them.

There is a giant frog in front of me on a pedestal. I have to jump on it in order to fight it. I somehow get up on the frog and starts to jump on its head. The frog starts to jump really high and I get scared of the height. There is some kind of health bar on the frog and it dies.

Something about my cousin Gabriel.

Notes: I don't remember anything except a very strong precens of Gabriel.

17th October 2020

Fragment:

Remember being my lizard form at some point and also for quite a while. Earlier in the dream I was offered a choice (by whom or what?) to have either nearly unlimited strength or nearly unlimited stamina. I picked strength.

I remember flying through several somewhat surreal places with hybrid dragon wings that would appear and disappear.

At one point, I'm in a sandy beach area and there are wasps or bees and I stamp on them, concerned for a second about what I was doing, but then remembering I had nothing to fear. This was pre-lucid, I had some awareness of being dreaming.

In some other part, I'm destroying the outer structure of a concrete sky scraper and I'm eating or biting on people as they fall from the building. The building itself is falling and we are miles up in the air, impossibly high away from any other buildings. (Reminds me of UT levels)

Rest of recall is muddled. Was awake for a while and forgot to try and retain recall properly.

---

Notes:

- The part of me that convinced me to fear nothing was the same that has come about unconsciously before. I have started to feel a much more direct connection to these parts of myself over the last months; these are the parts of me that do not actively speak through my mind except seemingly under rare circumstances such as in the visualisations I've done/experienced. These are parts of myself that I've had some sort of tacit awareness of for quite a long time but that previously I wasn't able to consciously "put my finger on". In more physical terms, the less conscious parts feel like something inside at the back of my head, but maybe this is some association I have created by accident.

- I have absolutely no recall anymore about how the choice of "strength vs stamina" was offered to me, but I feel it was some sort of interface. I do seem to remember that in the dream my reasoning was that if I had unlimited stamina, it wouldn't necessarily allow me to do everything that I wanted to do. I think my experience of being weak when I was younger had some influence on this too. Lately there's been a fair bit of "processing" of some of my childhood, such as those instances recently where I was actually younger in my dreams.

- Flight and flying by own means hasn't really ever been of any special interest to me in dreams but I think the experience with wings was novel enough for me to enjoy it, though I still prefer it when flight in dreams happens by use of a jet or space ship.

Some in-line notes.

---

15th October 2020

Fragment:

In a space hangar of some sort. Hundreds of ships, they look like haulers from NMS. I have a contract or something and I have to salvage/loot some specific ships in the middle of all of these. There's some kind of dispute with someone else who's on the contract too?

Earlier. Something about a woman my age. She shows someone, maybe one of my siblings, around her apartment. She offers them food and she has a mini-golf course inside the apartment. The person she's showing around doesn't seem interested, but they tell her that I might be interested, and this person goes out to find me or something.

---

16th October 2020

7:20

Fragment:

In a desert area. There are small towns. I was mostly here in some sort of observing role at first (but physically present?) but then I selected some kind of player faction like in an RTS game and I spawned in a pickup truck of some kind with a crew. We had to kill an American protagonist but we had to be careful. I needed to have resources gathered in order to build an anti-tank... tank.

But instead, we just got involved in a chase where the protagonist person was in a humvee or something, chasing after an Arab guy. I tried to catch up to the Arab too but he was just too fast for all of us.

Before all this, there was some other RTS segment. Defeated an enemy faction at the very last second before nearly being defeated myself. The objective was simply to destroy a core building in each others bases. Mix of Mech Commander and Supreme Commander. Remember dual-gun tanks like some of the T3 UEF.

Earlier. Some bit in a town, being told about where I was born apparently. A black mother had given birth to me at a bench on a street and I remember a distinct visual effect like the retribution aura from WoW around me, which was apparently normal for people being born here but unusual everywhere else. But some old white man found me after the mother had seemingly abandoned me and he thought the aura was beautiful and he took me in, adoptively.

10:00

Fragment:

A church. I forget most of it now but there was an upper area with a room meant for meditation and yoga. This church was built out of limestone I think, more like the churches around where I grew up, but the architectural style seemed more like those of where I live now.

I remember there were notices on paper sheets taped to walls. There were lit candles and some other people were about.

(gap or transition)

In the same church still, but underground. A short cinematic view of this big white man, with a buzzcut-style hair and beard; he was working a forge with a metal forging spoon... ladle, thing. Like a cast iron cup. He would make gold items for the church, made from other gold items that were considered scrap, which he'd smelted before-hand.

I remember then being physically there next to him and watching him work and H telling me that gold's melting point was 1142 or so, but I seemed to remember it being 1400, but then thought maybe that was aluminium.

Fragment (DFLN):

In my home town. Walking along a road or its pavement towards the roundabout. The church wasn't built yet. Buildings were in the wrong places. The sky was pitch black and it was night time, pretty much. But in the sky the sun was there, black and hollow, "an eclipse" I heard someone nearby comment. Looked like in DS3.

(As I wrote the initial notes for this, I started my pc and noticed that the background image I made has an eclipsed sun exactly like the one from the dream.)

I got to an area that looked like my old friend D's building. At this point I was still looking at the sky. The sun now looked like a cracked planet with lava flowing.

I drempt of a cyberpunk detective thriller in the style of a movie/videogame hybrid in which the main protagonist (Vague recolection of the name gus) got cursed with an odd form of lycanthropy in which he turned into a female anthropomorphic wolf.

The scenes in which he was such tended to have happy lyrisised pop music playing over the top, and the scenes were mostly done in a animated, cartoonish style in which the main protagonist relaxed and almost lead a double life, watering plants and the like.
The rest of the time, he acted as a stereotypical gruff detective, with his female teammate with short black hair and glasses mocking him for being too "assertive".

One last character I would like to mention is Mrs. Robinson, who acted as a frenemy that talked through a CGI face that was uncanney vally incarnate, it looked like a ventriloquist dummy had been given polygonal flesh instead of wood.
She was very demanding to the team, and seemed to want to insist that they don't uncover the case.

There was also a prominence of face masks as everyday items too.

Today's entry is a two-parter!

I dreamt of a new Dragonball series, presumably titled "Dragonball Mega", a lot of the older villains from Z were back, and has new "mega" forms, Freiza had managed to acquire a "wishing wand", and was slowly using it to revive goku's old opponents. I think at some point, goku managed to acquire the same wand, and was now using it against Frieza.

I dreamt that after a heavy rain, a lot of water was flowing down the hill, among the streets.
I didnt pay much mind to it, I went to the shop. Then encountered a big fckoff COBRA, but it wasnt any kind of cobra , it was FLYING all over the place. Its morphology was unique:Its lower half was of a light colour , cant tell which, the top, was vibrant red, with the hood stretching all over it's body, acting as a wing to catch wing, while doing this swirly motion mid air , supposedly to maneuver itself. I got really scared, it somehow flew up and charged me , I fell on the ground and covered my face, but nothing happened, it just went away. I ran home like mad while seeing a bunch of these things flying around, told mom, closed windows ,door , I was panicking like mad, then started to see reptillians even, flooding the street , and maybe even lions?
Someone told me that this event will die off once all the water flows down from the mountains... Nobody was worrying that much about it..but I was furious

I have some smaller friends who remind me of the Stranger Things company. Helene sends a message to me about aliens that have the ability to brainwash. Some of my smaller friends discuss whether we should try to build gear that can prevent mind control. They say that it is worth trying even if it does not work in the end. New fragment I copy paste the information Helene sent me and send it back to her because I want her to read the instructions. I talk with her over the phone too. She says that she has never seen that information earlier. We understand that Helene has been brainwashed and we prepare the gear. New fragment I sit on a rotatable circle platform with an iron helmet that is notably home made on my head with four other people. The one opposite to me also has a helmet but not the other two people. I start to spin the platform by using my feet against the ground. The smart one that is in charge of the operation says worried that the speed might be too high and that we might die. I keep on spinning and don't care about his statement. There are some of us guarding the door from the aliens. There is a platform from the ceiling were about five aliens stand on that is being lowered. I close my eyes because I think it is a movie and do not want to look on them because I don't like to see scary things on television. My closed eyes don't help me because I still see them. They are tall, green and slimy but has a normal face like humans. They reach the ground and start to walk against us. We spin faster and faster until the energy is full. There is a new platform that starts to rise and takes the aliens with it. The aliens are able to walk of the platform easily but they just stand there. The platform rises to the upper floor and an arm of one alien is trapped and cut of by the elevator. Nobody seems to care. The upper floor is very close to our floor and we decide to run away. I suddenly have very slippery heels and it is almost impossible to move in them. Stefan F is helping me to move. There is an alien that helps us and Stefan says that there is only one double agent. I tell him that we can't be sure and that there may be more. There is a staircase we come to and Stefan walks one way and I walk the other. I don't want to leave him but see that the two different paths we chose led to the same destination only that mine was shorter.

Notes: This was a nightmare and I was scared when I walked to the bathroom in the night. I saw a movie on netflix that Helene tipsed us to watch. We talk about brain control in the english lessons. That feeling when you can't run in a dream is so frustrating.

I wake up 03.20 and wrote down the alien dream. I try to WILD and have a very positive mind that I will succeed. I am able to keep my focus but the itches are bombarding me. It's impossible to relax and I decide to sleep. I had some confusing FA too.

It is some kind of Bolliad and I sit by a table with Diego. There are tables placed in the middle of the room and there are some youths dancing couple dance around us. I see some girls that look lonely that I want to cheer up by dancing with them but I decide not to. The youths that are dancing want to group dance instead but there is a young leader (about 20 years old) that encourages them to keep on dancing in pairs. I look for William and is sad when I remember that he is too old to be there. There are two old sister missionaries (about 70 years old) that talk about all the cakes on the table in front of me. There is a big cake that they want the recipe to.

Had a dream about dad and something too.

14.10.2020

Weird tree dream
There was something about trees and that apparently me and my mother and like a big community of people are turning into them and there was something about reincarnation. But my father realized something at the end of the dream and he killed us all while sad music played.

15.10.2020

Tiny lucid
There might be something about the series The Order. And then I had a moment of awareness, followed by me wondering about if I might be dreaming. And then I knew that I was, in fact, dreaming. I then tried stabilizing the dream somehow.

---

Before I entered the lucid after waking up from a lot of dreams, I actually had the suspection that my next dream might be a lucid. Guess I was right lol

I rarely ever practice reality checks or awareness training anymore, though. I don't quite know a reason to lucid dream right now.