non-lucid

12/4/20

Joel is showing off Chiang Mai locations. There are fragments of food and countryside businesses as we hop around a map of Thailand. It is borderline cartoonish at times. Too many fragments.

I was dreaming then suddenly walking into a bar/poolhall/game center which happened to be close to my house. I was excited and full of energy to be there. There are fun lights and awesome smells, the place is packed with people. I was moving quickly through the crowd just exploring the entire place. It felt like a new well financed business which had everything entertainment you could imagine. People my age were just hanging out drinking, playing games and the mood was elevated. I begin singing at the top of my lungs like chester with a couple other guys. It sounds good and we rock out while people walk around us just causally listening and bobbing their heads.
At a certain point I find Nathan in there so we hang out some, I want a beer so we go to the bar in the center of the building. I don't remember arriving here so I ask the guy bartending like 3 times if this is really happening because I didn't think any of it was real. He laughs and assures me it's real, telling me I seem to be having a really good time. I felt like it was a dream the majority of the time.

I walk with Nathan down the street to go smoke or something, he is staying at a house which is close by.
It was like 12:50 when we left to go to the other house. When we finish we walk back and it is like 1:15 when we get there. All the lights are off and no one is there but the owners, they are still happy to have us in. They let us in and I am confused. It was so packed and now it is completely empty.
They inform us they do close at 1 due to it being a new business and having so many people in one place at once. It was only the second day they had been open and it was incredibly successful.
We all hang out with the owners for a while.
It is a sweet business. Diner food, arcade games, karaoke, pool hall, and a fancy bar in the center to boot. I ran multiple laps while they were open. Kept finding myself in the upstairs 'employees only' area. The woman owner saw me up there once and didn't seem to mind, just casually pointing out which way I should go.
Hang out with the owners talking about the business for a while, they are really cool and laid back.
While talking I gather there are now two couples or at least another guy and girl with the couple who own the place. The girl owner is sleeping on a cot face down and the new girl who looks like the brunette from Raised by Wolves makes a comment about how her friend always sleeps in super late because she gave her extra NyQuil. While giving me a knowing look. I gather she has killed her quietly somehow and is aiming to take her place. (This is what happened in the show, no spoilers). There is another guy I don't really recognize, he has a shaved head and bright grey eyes, he is in on it as well. I don't understand why any of this is happening so I just quietly excuse myself. In talking to them as I am leaving I must have filled out an application to work there as it is on the counter of the bar. I consider taking it with me so I am not connected to this thing which is obviously about to blow up. But decide that may look suspicious so I leave it where it was.

It's the next day and I am walking back again, I end up in a large complex which is a public space built to be a hangout spot. It is a large indoor dome structure with a water feature on top of a pile of boulders in the center. It is well landscaped and looks ritzy and well lit. Perfectly manicured little odd shapes of grass and perfectly fitted red brick paths all leading around the area. With concrete circular tables and benches scattered about.
I walk around and find a food court area with music coming from it. It is decorated like a 30's style speakeasy, brass rails, wooden carved accents, large tan fans, black and white tiles, the works. Just past a Starbucks there is a stage with a guy and a girl playing instruments singing. I feel like I've heard the song before, it sounds like some kind of folk music, they look like people from my old church. This whole thing has a very Sunday afternoon vibe. There is a large crowd of teenagers sitting in the audience watching. Only half paying attention because, you know, teenagers. I try to walk around the back of the crowd to get out the side door but there is just a mass of people mostly girls all sitting asses to elbows blocking the walking path with their stools and tables.
I walk around and in front of everyone to leave the building.

Walking back down the strip mall it is the next morning and I am super tired. I realize I have been barefoot and look for a pair of my shoes in the mass of pairs of shoes that have been left in front of the poolhall. I find several pairs that look like mine but none of them fit. Before laying down the 'other' guy shows up out front. He has a concerned look on his face but he attempts to make smalltalk with me. He mentions working for a launch provider which is close to here and they have a couple satellites to launch in the next few days. I am not really interested and don't want to talk to him much longer. I have a bed/my big winter sleeping bag rolled out and I try to get some sleep on the sidewalk while people are walking/driving by. While falling asleep I see a group of three cops standing on the sidewalk down the way from me. I pretend not to notice them and begin to fall asleep in the dream.

I wake up to a sort of middle aged hispanic woman getting my attention standing over me, I immediately tell her I was about to scuttle off, I am still fairly drowsy. But I notice she is a police officer, she asks if I am 'No-ha' I say yes and shake her hand from laying down. I ask her name and she says 'In-ki-ya' her friends call her. I already know exactly what all of this is about. But I play dumb and look around to notice there are now 6 or 7 police cruisers of various designs on the street now. I say 'Whooa, what's this all about?? I see a lot of cop cars, and one really messed up car' then I notice another car/van which looks like it has been completely stripped for parts, no doors or wheels or anything sitting in front of the shopping mall, (I have been sleeping in front of the pool hall where it all went down apparently).
I put on my best clueless face/attitude not wanting to get involved. I gather she's not buying it and already suspicious of me.

I am traveling to Doug's house with G, we've never visited him before so we're very excited. When we get there he is overwhelmed to see us. We are all hanging out around him in his living room. We're all nude and his hair is longer and comes down over his eyes. It's casual and I gather we're all kind of passively watching a ritual taking place in the corner of the room. It opens up into a rocky cave and in the distance I can see a burning monument of sorts. It kind of looks like a mini greek colosseum with life-sized figurines all holding hands around the border, like the Indian Circle of Friends sculpture. The flames are yellow and white but not consuming the structure. I understand what we are witnessing is very important and thousands of years old. Doug is talking about people he knows who have trouble understanding their own reality. I make a remark about 'how many people get to see a 5,000 year old ritual, in a cave, while nude?' it is comforting and reassuring to watch.
We are now in an oversized tub, almost like a hot tub mixed with an overly large Victorian footed porcelain tub. We're all sitting around the edges. There is a squid like octopus swimming around. Everytime it touches me it latches onto my hand, the suckers kind of hurt and it doesn't want to let go.

12/3/20

I am with a group of people who all feel like outcasts of some kind. Marc Ruffalo is with us and at one point he throws a bus as hulk with us on it for rapid transportation. We are a sort of mutant club with all varying abilities. I can shoot web from my wrists like Spidey but I don't believe I have any of the other abilities. There is a part where the goblin is attacking me and I keep shooting web at his face. Only the web is thin and spindly like a normal spiders web and not doing anything besides making him webby, not like thick Spidey web. Goblin is somewhat inconvenienced but not overly upset with me.

I am at a general country store and notice they have fireworks for super cheap. Like 1¢ bottle rockets and 5¢ firecrackers. I want to buy some but don't have any money. It's such a great deal.

I am watching a movie with some mother, I think it is someone I used to work with. Her
son gets home, he bought a pack of fireworks.
When he hands them to me I notice they are burning like an ember. Out of caution for them not exploding I douse them with water. While by the sink I accidentally turn on a burner on low and burn up a towel that was sitting on the oven. It smokes up the house but no one noticed until just the corners were remaining. There is a plasticy synthetic smell in the air.
The father of the family gets home, he doesn't know I am there and sees me before his family and isn't very happy to see me. He offers to drive me home, I am grateful. While driving the mood was somewhat tense and I noticed we get off on the wrong exit driving towards the city rather than my neighborhood.

Wartime we are being shot at. I am with friends and we have a goal to accomplish by setting certain checkpoints. They are small white buttons on the battlefield that we need to active one at a time. The last one my friend gets shot up pretty bad he can't move very well and I am tearing apart some raw chicken over the button but cannot set the checkpoint. A guy is standing maybe ten feet away shooting at us. I have no more bullets so I pull out a chef's knife and yell like a crazy person while charging at him. He gives up before I get to him and throws his gun away. We set the checkpoint and the war is over. I bump fists with the guy who gave up as a sign of good faith. My friend is fine. My arms are shot up and really sore but everyone lives.

I am in an older elementary school after-hours. There is some sort of biden campaign event going on that I am not totally connected to, I don't see anyone involved but know it's happening.
When helping clear up one of the classrooms I go into a small supply closet
My parents are in there as well as other workers. My coworkers from the spa I used to work at come in all in the same uniform.
I say hey old fam but none of them recognize me or acknowledge me really, I am wearing blue jeans.
My old boss who I had a falling out with walks in she has a mask on and a sideways red painters hat. I am wearing a mask and realize we are all in too close of quarters. She starts talking to my father and I excuse myself out of the small room.
I accidentally knock her knee with my backpack when walking around her, she rubs it like I hurt her and I leave the room without her recognizing me.
I had fallen asleep in another room and was very drowsy when collecting my things, and I kept picking up other people's things. There are three hispanic black girls who are my friends in the room. I keep trying to leave but keep going back into the room because I seem to think I forgot something.
I remember where my phone was, only when I pick it up it is purple and has a girl's name on it. It is the same as my phone but looks like someone else's. I am confused. When looking for it the girls are gathered around helping me they are confused too. Then I notice my phone outline in my jean pocket. I don't tell them and put the phone back in its place telling them not to worry about it. I am sure I will find my phone somewhere.
I am very drowsy and nothing is making sense. I go to leave again and the older woman teacher tells me to give my jacket back to the other girl. I am confused but then realize she had given me the tight fitting jacket to wear because I was cold. I apologise again and take it off to give back to her. I also have a backpack on I am not sure is mine. Severe imposter syndrome combined with heavy 'i just woke up' drowsiness. They all like me, like they look up to me but I am acting like an idiot. One of them thinks I live in texas. I tell them where I'm from is not far from here. I spend a while looking for my car in the parking lot though I know I rode here with my parents.
At a certain point I am chasing my cat through the hallways, only it's dark and I don't think it's my cat once I catch it.

2nd December 2020

Fragment:

Our street, mixed with a street back in L. Sunny. The L-side had shade from taller buildings. It was generally busy. Dad's mother was there under such a shade and looking at some kind of wall graffiti; I come to her and she sees me and looks surprised to see me, but she seems a bit lost or confused and I try to guide her somehow. I remember having some low level concern that people might think I'm not related at all and that I'm just trying to take advantage of her.

Earlier in the dream, there was a gang of three hooligans or whatever coming up from down the end of our street but then I remember feeling/realising that they were likely just passing through.

3rd December 2020

Dream, fragmented:

An early bit of the dream with an overview/interactive "map" of Wales and England; this so-called map was made of dirt and leaves, which I'm walking on.

3D-like but nonetheless real, leaves were swirling around some locality markers in the West Midlands and near a central point in Wales. It looks like a tornado of leaves is persistently swirling around each one and they seem to overlap in their motions, creating some literal border friction in this sense. I talk with H. I ask in almost rhetoric manner why this can't be sorted out. It looks entirely simple from my point of view, I think.

I use a stick, or something like and try to mark or uncover a border marker for where the Welsh/English border should actually be (as far as I know/can work out) and I manage to get the Welsh leaf tornado to be "sensible" and stick within its remit but the West Midlands tornado refuses to comply and be contained in any sense.

The tornados seemed to represent local governmental authorities responsibilities for picking up recycling and other such waste.

I remember just nearby there's a large tree with bulgy and bulky roots; relative to the map, it's situated just at the very North-most point of the border between Wales and England.

Eventually, the dream moves on or I lose interest and I start looking at some junk nearby. The front of a diesel or electric train? Not sure, but then we were able to enter it from the side or something, and it's a really old house. It's dark and the daylight from outside has that cloudy day/blue tinge that I find characterises days with that weather. I think I'm still with H or another character. I have some special and unique item I traded earlier? I vaguely recall a chiselled stone, lapis lazuli, with a golden ring around some part of it; it has an oblong/obeliskish shape. (I begin to recall a much earlier bit?)

I'm at an apartment. It's a single room and it's no bigger than my old room. There's a girl here, I have the impression I'm a girl too but I don't check in any way. This girl has a pony tail and a sharp face, she looks about 20 or so. I need something from her but she's unwilling to trade; I can't recall any of the dialogue.

Eventually she walks up to the window and I kick her out; she falls several stories and I take the item somehow (was it in the flat?) and this item is one of nine or something which I need for my quest. In the flat, I notice she had some kind of modern CRT TV. For some reason, I give the screen a knock with my right hand knuckles and it resonates slightly.

I am now downstairs immediately outside the apartment building. There's a crowd and police. I'm on the phone or something and this person I'm working with tells me to remain calm and that they've taken care of everything (male voice?). A big white man is out here and he distracts the crowd, shouting and announcing that he did it, he'd killed this girl. He has medium-length hair curls of a fair colour.

I go through and past the crowd and there's some advanced cyber police of sorts. They have egg shaped hover drones, no bigger than a fist, and red scanners. They are doing forensic scans of everyone leaving the area and internally I feel concerned but I keep going and stop when asked to; they find nothing in their scan, to my relief. I continue through a street with tall buildings, it's night time, I feel? Deus Ex (classic) feel to the area here. I look at my phone and read debates about cannibalism, for some reason. One state in the USA had apparently had it as something legal for a very very long time (hundreds of years). I hear people nearby but don't look or pay attention to them.

I reach a small building. It is modern but dilapidated; all the glass is missing or broken. It's dark outside and the odd part is I recall no sky at all. I go inside this building and go up a semi-spiralling staircase. It's brighter in the top floor. There's a curtain or something. (This dream memory starts to get mixed with the other one)

I have traded all the unique and special items at some point, I don't recall with whom. Now, I have a dulled copper-y looking signet ring; I hold it in my palm and I also have a small bag made from untreated leather, of a tan colour. I open the bag and from inside I take out a live miniature Japanese racoon or something, which fits on my palm. It doesn't move much, but I hold it up to a white and bright fluffy ceiling; it yelps and sniffs as I move it around the room; I intuitively understand it's detecting something, to allow me passage from this otherwise dead-end octagonal room.

Then, behind the curtain is a door. i can open it because of the signet ring, I think. I try to close it behind me as I hear voices nearing and think I shouldn't let them follow me.

(the recall becomes too mixed)

All else I remember is a view of some train with people I know being inside it, laser rifles shooting from inside and outside the train, at each other, as the train passes through a platform. It's night-time. I have vague recall of being somewhere, waiting, and some of my aunts and my mom are there; they are complaining between themselves for some reason and I remember something about a Nazi man visiting and demanding something.

I was going to military enrollment this morning.

I wake up 5.30 am naturally and can't resleep. I am nervous for military enrollment and go to the train. Recall gap. I stand in the train and go to a back seat. There are a man that enters. I think about corona distance because they warned us about that in the military mail. There comes more and more people and we get pretty crowded in there.

Notes: I dreamt about being nervous and that I can't sleep but in reality I slept good.

I'm sitting in my chair and look on the big screen in the TV-room upstairs. Gustav show me a music video that he has made from my guitar playing. It sounds like through the fire and flames and I am really impressed with the video. There are some Mike Wachowski memes in the video about him being a big a big sea monster eating a big boat or something. There is a part where the music sounds weird. I ask Gustav about it and he wonders what I mean. He tells me to play the part on the guitar. I don't know what part it is so I try to play something else instead. I improvise Cliffs of Dover and I get some notes wrong but it sounds good. I am impressed with myself and I tell Gustav that I have never played it before.

Notes: In the dream I played an open Em with a high G on the E-string. When I woke up I laughed at myself how I could believe I actually played Cliffs of Dover with that fingering on the guitar.

12/2/20

Elon is giving some kind of presentation. I am in the audience. I win a contest allowing me to play the guitar to accompany his band. When they play I still sit in the audience but my guitar is wired into the sound system. It sounds really good and I play better than I have ever played before. There are lead plucking parts and van Halen style taping at one point. The crowd enjoys the show and I can tell Elon was pleasantly surprised at my performance as well. We talk after the show while walking out onto a runway and to his car. His entourage is behind him and we walk side by side. I am starstruck but maintain my composure. I make a joke he likes about how people usually treat him when they meet him "omg I know right! That's totally true, like seriously people!" he responds laughing. We arrive at his car and he says we should totally do this again sometime soon. I assume he is just being nice. But later in the dream I am at another function sitting at a roundtable with some friends and Elon asks me to play along with them again. He is on stage rocking his heart out, he is obviously showing off playing a large drum and the band is just generally jamming. I start playing my guitar along with them only at some point it becomes a bass guitar in my hands. I can't play the bass as well IRL, but in the dream it sounds really good, I remember some of the chord progressions and the accompanyment meshes really well. The crowd enjoys the jam, Elon is in full performer mode sweating up a storm. At a certain point I think he has his shirt off wearing black wrist cuffs and a black headband. My friends around the table are flabbergasted that I am playing with the band from the audience. This time I scoot my chair over in front of the sound guys table who has some lights on his table projecting onto the stage. I sit in front of the light and my silhouette is outlined on the stage. The song goes really well and people clap at the end. I don't get to conversate with him after this time. But I still brag to my friends that I got to hang out with Elon in person 2 times in one week. I am still beside myself.

There is another performance this time I don't know who is on stage but I have an oversized midi controller in the shape of a larger misformed original grey nintendo gameboy. It has several lines on it with options on each line like a mad lib. But when I press them they play different sampled sounds that are all in the same key. It is hard to describe but I am pretty much head banging mashing buttons and it sounds like trip hop techno. I see an old friend from highschool and he throws me the rock on horns while smiling devilishly. He asks about the controller after the performance and I attempt to explain it. People around me are generally impressed at the show. I played from the audience again but only the people around me knew I was coming through the speakers.

Vr headset playing in a room. Don't recognize the game but it is somewhat surreal. My cat comes and lays down next to me while I am playing and the game sees her and puts her in the game as a dog with a cat's face. I walk into a table in the room I am in while walking around in vr. (I've never tried vr irl)

I am looking for G and gather she is at some trump fundraiser, or has been kidnapped to go there or something. I drive my car to a rich neighborhood that I think the place is at and for some reason I keep looking for the place called "Goat Barn" I am unsure if it's a street or location. I park my car and begin walking around the neighborhood. It is very cold and snowy out. I wonder why I got out to walk as none of the street names match what I am looking for. I have a flyer in my hand that is for the fundraiser in typical propaganda style but there is no address on the flyer. I try googling Goat Barn on my phone but come up with nothing. I am standing in front of one of the large houses and for some reason I pull their mailbox off the post. No one is home but I am still cautious someone might have seen me mess up the mailbox. I start to walk away and see the person pull into their driveway. I cut through some yards and smaller walkways between houses to get to the other side of the neighborhood. The Goat Barn is no where to be seen.

I have very high lucid chances when I go to sleep again in the morning. That's why I set an alarm 9 am and re-sleep when I wake up in the morning.

I'm home and there is some kind of big man without a shirt I'm fighting against. He weights about 300 kg maybe. He is in our kitchen and I try to hit him but he doesn't get hurt. Another man enters the room who is at the big man's team. He is tall and thin. I tell them that this is unfair and I ask them where my teammates are. They are quiet as if they are hiding something. I say a weird name, Galatzhar or something. I ask them where this man is because I need him in order to be able to punch the big man. They don't know who I'm talking about. I go look in the house for my teammates. When I enter my parent's room they are sleeping next to each other. I come back to the kitchen and now my mom stands there. I get somewhat lucid and tell myself it is a dream loudly but I wake up.

I wake up 7.30 am and go to the bathroom. I go to sleep again and enter a dream.

I'm home and see that the clock is 17:00. I become lucid and walk out. I fly over some buildings and I am a little bit afraid that someone will grab me but it doesn't happen. I try to summon someone who will start to fly next to me but it fails. I want to fly to a star and I see one. I start to fly to it but it disappears. I look for another one but I can't find one. A star appears at the top of my vision. As I move my eyes to look at it the star moves away, always so that it is at the top of my vision. It's moving out from my view so that I can never look at it directly. I ignore that I can't see a star and just fly up into the darkness. As I fly it becomes darker and darker. I start to lose myself to the darkness. The sense of my body slowly disappears. I close my eyes and think to myself that it is going to be a FA in my bed. I wake up in my room and I'm not sure if it is a dream. I do my RC but I'm still not sure. I try to turn on the switch to the lamps with my mind but fail. I try to do some telekinesis to a book and succeed. I open up my window and fly out. It's dark outside. I fly to a big house and ask if anyone is home through a window. A girl in my age answers. The windows are too small to enter through. I start to punch the brick wall and I am able to destroy it. She is amused and says that it is another way to enter. She is playing some kind of Mario game on a small TV screen by her feet as she lays on a sofa. The TV screen is in a bad position for her so I use my telekinesis in order to fix it. It is fairly hard but I am able to fix it. I lay on the other side of the sofa with my head against her lap. I think about whether I should play Mario with her. The dream fades away.

Notes: I have tried to reach the stars several times now. Maybe I need another approach. I want to learn how to walk through walls so that I don't need to enter through windows all the time.

12/1/20

I am at a school lock-in at a large period style manor with my old classmates.
I saw her dressed in an all black victorian style dress walking calmly, standing out in the crowd she is graceful and glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.
We walk by each other, I notice her notice me but I do not acknowledge her as I walk slowly with my hands behind my back. I don't see her again.
I am with a group of guys who look like power lifters wearing singlets. We are all cutting up laughing.
We put wigs on and joke loudly about starting a strip club, girls line up for us to jokingly grind on them while trapy thump music plays in the background.
The joke gets old.

It's time for bed and we're all herded into different rooms. They are large dormitory style rooms only the beds are also large, some have several pillows on them.
I don't see any open beds really so I sleep at the foot of one of the large beds.
They are all kids now, I am unsure if I am also a kid.
Another kid lays down next to me unaware there are pillow positions.
I ask him if he wants the other bed next to us, he says no, I am fine with it and fall asleep anyway.
In the morning time the old nanny-like ladies are waking us up
We are all standing around them as the introductions are happening. There are laminated numbers hanging from the ceiling. I gather we will be here for a few weeks.
The room starts to rotate and I see out the windows a line of coloured small circus style tents outside that the african american boys were sleeping in.
I think I want to sleep outside the next night as the segregation is totally unfair.
I look and most of the boys inside are african american too, I am confused.
The caretaker (who looks like Paterson Joseph) outside tells us while standing on a ladder that this place has history and our water comes from the creek which has had slaves shitting in it for centuries and we should feel lucky to have this history in our water.
We are all sprayed at once to shower and brush our teeth. I continued brushing my teeth after and am scolded by one of the nannies.
The morning chores begin
I am the oldest one so I am unsure what to do and wander around. They are preparing food in the kitchen so I offer to cut stuff up. Everyone is using their hands instead of utensils and all the counters are cutting boards.
He hands me a few slices of pineapple to dice. I take them to a station and grab a knife. The blade has been bent twisted sideways so it is not straight holding the handle. I cut them up anyway.
Walking around more they are spreading new concrete/floor sealer in one of the rooms and a boy is being charged with the activity with two adult guardians.
The older guys tell me they do this every 2 days or so. The kid does a horrible job spreading as the coloured dye on top doesn't swirl right and they bash him for it.
I tell the guys I am massage therapist and kind of the all around guy so I can do many things.
One of them asks me about a rumour he heard about Massage therapists having all the right words to sell their craft but their skill is sometimes lacking. I go in on the topic of there being too many therapists in my state so there are plenty who don't take their practice seriously. He tells me he can tell I am smart one and we should get along just fine.

I am in a cooking competition like master chef. Another stressful one. It is the first challenge and we are tasked with making a dish that describes us, we only have 45 minutes. We can only use the ingredients we brought with us. I wanted to braise some pork but don't have the time. I am standing next to that one bald guy with glasses and neck tattoos. Everyone is far more experienced than I am. He mentions going across the street to get some ingredients and asks if I need anything, I still haven't decided what I will cook and spend most of my time brainstorming. My box is full of frozen meat and reminds me of my deep freeze. No time to dethaw. I end up cooking some small chicken pieces that were marinaded. There is a small garnish station set up so I make a small salad like garnish on the side. I remember I have some rice as well and make a fried spanish rice in a cup form next to my chicken slices on a long plate with the leafy greens on the end. Gordon yells at me for making a salad. This is the worst meal I have made in my entire life. I am ashamed. There are maybe 20 people all at their desks in the competition. A kid who only got one vegetable on his plate ends up going home. I am relieved but still believe I am the worst one here.

Snipers pin down me and some kids at a hilly mountainous home.
Drama drama drama
A mounty looking navy seal guy shows up and I task him with helping us.
He sees the snipers and throws me his huge binoculars.
I hold a 4 wheeler while he starts it on a hill to go to a better vantage point.
He dies a gorey death sliding down a skiing lift cable, gets cut in half and his upper half lands on top of a cooked hog sitting on a picnic table. He screams the whole way.

Things wind down and the house is now a run down hillbilly home with just 2 somewhat disabled people living in it.
I walk down the driveway and they have a vendors tent set up selling only various types of plastic pencils. One of them looks like an ice cream cone and I ask if this is the only edible one.

1st December 2020

Dream:

By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times.

The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset.

In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus.

(recall gap)

Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger.

We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise.

I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time."

His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream.

I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical."

We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit.

The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door.

---

Notes:

- It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense.

- JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though.

- Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking.

- I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation.
-- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC.

- I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them.

- My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.

Jamie

3rd person perspective dream. just images of me and jamie walking around at night. we were holding hands and smiling. It's nice to have a dream like that, lately she's been more distant or cold... So this is good.

Lucid

I was with a group of people by a mountain. We went inside a house. Forgot what happened. Became lucid randomly in a living room. A bunch of people were on a couple of couches. One guy said, "Who why does the floor keep changing color?" I said it's because this is a dream. I saw a girl sitting on a couch and i like the look of her.Instinct took over and I was going to rip her clothes off. But she vanished. Another girl was lying on the couch, She looked like Bri an old manager that no longer works where I do. I asked if it was her. She groggily said, "yes," and that's when I woke up.

I'm sitting in church with Martin and William. I'm learning some kind of sentance about the sacrament (?) by heart

Notes: I had to learn a sentance about baptism by heart some days ago.

29th November 2020

Fragment:

Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details.

(recall gap)

Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship.

I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection.

This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout.

Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did.

There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream.

---

Notes:

- This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try.

- The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.

22nd November 2020

Dream:

I was sitting at a desk and there was a piece of paper; it was blank or had something recently drawn on it. I wanted to practice doing buildings and started off with a very simple rectangular one. I wasn't being able to keep the lines steady in any direction, which annoyed me.

Then, next to this building, I started drawing another building starting with a sloping roof and then drawing in some windows but then quite soon I was drawing these small cross sections in parts of this building and these sections started draw themselves full of complete scenes of what the rooms were like. I kept drawing cross section bits and adding in small details and finding details adding themselves to the drawing. As I kept my focus on drawing, perceptually, it started to feel like I kept getting closer and closer to the paper.

Very gradually and seamlessly, I entered one of these scenes but I could somehow still see things sort of in cross section, like in a 2.5D platformer game or something.

I remember a few characters, there was an elephant lady on a bed in a room above or adjacent to the main view/focus; she had some lights on but it was otherwise dark in her room and she was sliding the end of her trunk on a grating to a ventilation shaft; this made noise that scared another character in a different room and I think that character became angry out of embarrassment or something.

Later on, some bit where there was a nurse character, whose details I don't remember so well. I knocked her on the head with something massive and she went down (through the floor or over a mezzanine?) and something broke her fall, I think maybe me. I remember telling her "you idiot, this is my dream!". In the dream this was meant as some sort of explanation to the confusion she displayed when she realised she was fine after the hit and the fall. Nearby up some steps on a flat tier was a giant cobra, but in the dream I thought it was an adder, for some reason.

Fragment:

An earlier dream focused on NCIS, but which I don't care enough to make full note of the details. The dream focused on McGee and he was flying a small private jet and then someone is with him passes him a phone, with Gibbs on the line. In the dream it was like in the actual show, in terms of witticisms, humour and timings. McGee was more self-aware as a character than any other and questioned how could it be possible that Ducky and Gibbs were already at the scene in this other country he'd now be landing in at.

---

Notes:

- In the first dream, the whole thing reminded me a bit of the type of crazy and silly drawings in "finding Wally". I went through a few of those books quite often when I was younger. I don't know where those books are or if they were thrown away.

- A lot of detail was missing from my recall but the from the moment the scenes started being filled in as I drew cross sections and windows, there was a huge amount of ornamental detailing to the scenes that made them feel overly complete.

- I haven't seen a snake in my dreams for a while and I don't think I'd ever had an elephant in a dream before (hm, which also has a "snake" on its face?).

- There was some kind of dark and red-ish lighting to the room/area the giant cobra was in.

- The nurse did elicit some type of pre-lucid awareness, especially considering my remark to her confusion.

- I slept quite poorly. My neck and lower teeth were aching as I wrote my notes and afterwards.

11/29/20

I am back in my old grade school. All of my old classmates are there, we are all dressed in our uniforms. But we are all our current ages. It's like a combination of a class reunion and an assembly/lunchroom gathering. All the teachers are treating us like kids, all the classmates are acting exactly like they were when we were younger. I say the word Ass while talking to a teacher and the whole table gasps and the teacher starts to get mad. I seem to be the only one who knows I'm 32. I sarcastically ask her, what??? Are you going to do?? Give me a detention?? Ha! I kind of shout that we are all between 28 and 32 but no one seems to have changed. Everyone is exactly who they were when we were kids. I am partly disgusted by everyone's demeanour. The first girl I met when I was visiting my middle school as a kid was there sitting next to me. I try to talk to her but she is visibly bothered with my attitude and thinks I am bad for cussing. It figures.

In school an older woman lets me play her musical instrument which resembles a hang drum, only the underside has many springs in it. She tells me she bought it for $8 and was able to tune the springs to make good sounds. I love playing it because it sounds awesome. She tells me I can have it because I obviously enjoy it more than she does. I take it apart trying to figure out how it is a chair. I cannot get it back together and once the lady is gone I cannot get it to make the nice sounds again. She has it in her car for me to pick up when I leave.

I was friends with Karl Urban. As a joke we spray tanned his face and dyed his hair blonde. It was funny and he was in on the joke. We were both dressed like cupid and running around the school like idiots laughing.

I have the datsun car, it is parked at an old school. It has been broken into while I was in school and the windshield is broken and one of the change holders was unscrewed and taken.
While driving to Bob Evans, Karl was in the car with me. I notice the glove compartment has a dollar hanging out it and open it. It is filled with money. Various denominations all in bankroll paper bands the largest I found was 20 $50 dollar bills. I told Karl I just found a thousand dollars. I am super confused because the car was running when I came back to it so I assumed I was robbed. But there was all this money in the glove compartment.
I gathered that maybe someone stole the car for a ride/escape and stuffed a bunch of money in the glove box as a sort of 'sorry' for the repairs before returning it to the parking lot where I had it parked.
We are driving and I tell him to go back to the lot because I forgot to get the pan/chair stool the older lady told me I could have. We go back and I get the pan, Karl is confused because it doesn't look like a pan, I took it apart and can't get it back together. I take it anyway.

I gather we are supposed to meet some people at Bob Evans, but there are 3 Bob Evans close to us and I don't know which one they have gone to. No one is answering my calls. We go to one and I walk around the crowded restaurant. I don't see them so I call the other restaurant from the lobby. I ask the hostess if they have anyone by the name of our friends and she kind of scoffs like 'how would I know' I ask her if there is any sort of sign in sheet for people she is taking. She says no. I am frustrated so I hang up.

I am at a church waiting to go in. There are tons of old ladies.
We are standing along a border fence that's really just a tall wired fence with huge gaps in it.
2 mexican boys try to make a run for the fence (from our side) and I know they are being watched so I try to encourage them not to do it. One changes his mind one tries anyway. The police run after them.
Church opens up and the people standing in line all file in while the border police are running the other way to get the kid trying to jump the fence.
When I get inside I notice one of those interchangeable letters poster boards with the lines on it. There was a post-it note on it warning people not to change the letters. They were all mixed around to make funny statements, something along the lines of the Taco Lord is Coming to Save us All.

I play Minecraft and use a wooden hoe to destroy some wooden blocks. I find some kind of treasure inside but Gustav comes and steal it. I become a bit mad and walk to another location. I dig some more wooden blocks with my hoe and it goes really fast. I find one more treasure under the wood but Gustav takes it again. I dig into the ground and find a cave. There are a lot of monsters there. I jump around, kill some of them with my sword and get a lot of EXP. I get up to over lvl 2000. I dig some more and find another cave. Gustav is there. I hit him with my hand and he kills me with his diamond sword. I am angry with him because all my EXP disappeared and he stole my things before.

Notes: I don't know why I dream about Gustav being mean to me now and some dreams ago. We had thanksgiving dinner yesterday with Bernpaintners.

I'm in some kind of dark place with Diego, Edvard and David. We all have laptops and try to join a discord call. Diego's new friend Albert is also in the discord call but not physically with us. Edvard asks Albert if he can become the leader of the call. Albert says sure and gives Edvard the leader role. Edvard drags some application to the call and everyone gets Zerg, Protos or Terran cartoon background pictures. I get a Zerg picture of a cartoon Zergling. We all close our laptops. After a while we reopen them and Albert is still on the call. Diego says that we should all have a prayer and asks Albert if it is okay. Albert says it is okay.

Notes: I just met Albert three days ago. It's probably why he only was present in the call. I heard William played StarCraft II some days ago.

I play some kind of Halo game with Jonathan and Oscar. Jonathan and William use some kind of launcher that shoots containers. They try to hit targets that are being dropped from a very tall building. When they hit the targets a multiplier score thing is showed in the top of the screen. When they miss it disappears. They shoot some and are able to get the multiplier up to X72. I tell them that they can't miss now because of the high score multiplier.

Notes: Jonathan and Oscar wanted me to play Halo with them during Diego's party three days ago. I met the Håkanssons' yesterday. Diego was baptized. Diego is the only one that pray in my dreams it seems like.

11/28/20

I'm in a large dimly lit room with various beds and chairs in it. I notice an old friend Micheal laying towards the back of the room across some chairs. He's using clothes to keep warm while sleeping. I shake out a large heavy blanket for him to sleep with and drape it over him.
There's a rough looking english guy who looks like ed sheeran sitting on the couch leaning on a girl who's laying on one side. She doesn't like it. I make fun of him for it, he gets an attitude with me so I mock a British accent singing the Beatles "she don't caaaare, she don't care". She likes me. We end up cuddling and making out.
She mentions having a troubled past. At some point we are making music that's sort of punk and I'm yelling lyrics. It's still night time but I know no one who is sleeping will mind.

Something south park related

I am watching a livestream of some girl. She gets knee'd in the face and the phone gets picked up and the stream goes dead. I am concerned for her even though I don't know her. I tell Matt Smith who is suddenly around. All I remember is the address on the screen which said 305 S th. I tell him and he does some sciencey thing to locate her. We are at a strip mall and walk outside. She is sitting at a park bench across the street. I find it incredibly lucky. She has blue eyes and straight dirty blonde hair, she is dainty and fair skinned. I am enamoured. She assures me I don't want to get mixed up with her. But we are still concerned for her well being.

Dodgeball tournament mixed with overwatch.
They take all of our things in our pockets and put them all together before the match.
We win barely
I remember I was kind of rude to the Symmetra and knock her off the second story rail with my shield. I don't play rein usually but somehow we win. I am confused. I apologise to her after the match saying it was nothing personal.
The coach of the other team is kind of mad at me for beating his team. He complains they were going to make state finals and his team worked so hard to get to where they were. I am walking to my car and I see the fair skinned girl again. I invite her to come with. I don't have my phone and have gathered it went missing in the big pile of peoples things. There is a nokia in my car I call the coach on. I assure him everything will be ok and I am sorry his team lost. But I am sure they will do better next time. He is surprised I am so supportive of my competitors. I wish them well and tell him I lost my actual phone at the competition, I say goodbye.

She is now completely nude standing over me. I motion for her to come here. She lays on top of me straddling one of my thighs. She is petite and incredibly soft. I just caress her skin from the neck down her back, her arms and sides and legs. I tell her I cannot believe how soft she is. And I could just touch her skin all day, I count her freckles down the side of her body. She is comforted and we just lay together in each other's arms. Nothing sexual, more sensual. We are incredibly close.