non-lucid

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7/10/2020
Took melatonin and B-complex vitamins
Fell asleep at 12:45-1AM.
Woke up at 6:30AM, woke up, went pee, Used SSILD
Woke up at 8AM, with recall, fell asleep
Woke up at 9:30AM, with recall. Wrote down all the dreams I remembered

What to work on: SSILDing for longer when trying to fall back asleep
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Dream 1+2(Working for Riaz then first class, making pizza for uncle.): I was working at big cheese and the makeline was set up very differently. We were doing things like making sides and prepping pizzas but Riaz was doing all the topping. I imagined thats why he can keep his stats so good at such a high volume store, he controls everything. He finished up and we clocked out really early at like 5:30, I thought thats all he really needs to keep the store profitable, he'd rather spend his time doing other things with the extra time. Another time I was at first class and I remember Ana letting her hair down with no hairnet after her shift near the food. At one point my uncle(maybe an employee too) wanted a pizza. I was helping him make a pizza and got the order of things all wrong. I ended up with the dough at the bottom of a bucket and pouring some sauce on top. I thought I had to make more wings too but there were some in the fridge.

Dream 3(Austin comes over for food, slaps me, I bring him outside to talk, grapes): I was chilling on the driveway or garage and Austin came up to us looking for to hang out or get some food. We went inside and I realized its because he has no food at home. I offered him everything and he ended up with like a ice cream drumstick and some orange ice cream/popsicle looking thing. I got near him and he slapped me with the orange thing. I asked him why he would do that and then told him to follow me and I brought him outside onto the front lawn. I again tried to get an explanation and then he left. I felt so bad for him, wasting the only food he had at the moment just because he was angry. Then Pheobe helped clean me up and tried to cheer me up by saying well make chocolate covered grapes. I remember just sitting or lying down feeling sad for Austin.

I'm inside of a building, in Jersey City, NJ. I'm on the top floor. Two man pass by and grab red condoms, one each, from a basket near the exit door. They exit the room, and I'm watching from behind. I aproach the door and across the stair I see a man sleeping in a hospital bed. My vision zooms in, and I could see clearly is John Travolta. He is sleeping deeply after a long travel; I notice he is too close to an edge of the small room, sure enough he rolls over the bed rails and falls to a deeper ground level. I see how he rolls in his blanket, like a burrito, until I loose sight of him. I levitate down towards him and try to focus my view, since is darker in this area. I see him getting out of a small door, he seems confused, and I help him getting back to bed, then I exit the room.

To say the two women had no distinguishing features would be a lie. But it was unimaginably dark the moment we headed down the corridor, there was never a chance I could see their faces. We passed a door to the left that opened to a small bathroom. The glass door at the other side of the corridor was the only visible thing in the darkness. The mood was abnormally silent and eerie. They stopped before a door to the right about halfway through. When I went inside, I saw only a bed and a couch in an otherwise empty room. The two women spoke between themselves while I found myself comfortable.

The both of them were well versed in lucid dreaming. I saw a person standing beside me, perhaps another student? I tried to listen to their lessons and attempted to become lucid. We would gather each night for our sessions. Every time the lesson ended, our teachers would lead us back down the corridor into a separate bedroom. I never knew who the women were, their names, nor were they in any way familiar to me. They were very patient with us, however. We would always practice during the late hours of the night.

Sometimes, the place we stayed in changed overnight. One time we slept inside a vacant office. The room had a series of shelves around its walls with nuts, bolts, and other stuff, and a desk with a small T.V. There was a cooking show on screen about an Argentinian chef preparing an alluring sauce. Another time we were sitting outside the women's porch. I remained puzzled as to how it was we kept changing places.

A ghost resided in the house. The first time I saw it, it had brushed past us while we were on the corridor. The ghost would always follow the same route from the glass door to the bathroom. Though it never materialized, I believed it was a small child. The women were aware of the ghost but did not feared it. The ghost never bothered with our lessons, but I never stopped being scared of it.

During one particular night, one of the women delved into the many methods for attaining lucidity. Sitting on the couch the two practitioners guided us through their teachings. Suddenly, I could mentally see each lesson like choices on a menu screen. From the five on display (which I can't remember), I decided on the first one and gave it a chance. Immediately my body went numb, as if with sleep paralysis. An ever growing pressure settled on both sides of my neck. Anxious, I tried to shake it off, but my body would not move. As if responding to my fear, the pressing subsided. When we finished that night, one of the women stood beside me and thanked a disembodied presence for our well-being.

* * *

I try moving my hands but notice they are tied to a pole. It is very dark in here, wherever I am. I am, again, bordering on the threshold of lucidity. I remember discussing lucid dreaming with two other people. We don't seem to have a body with us while the conversation takes place.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Been away for a while now. I've had this troubling theme of war and big bombs.

I'm by some kind of half circled arena and there is a kid in the middle. He is to show us his invention and there is a prize to the person who has the best invention. He shows us his rocket and it starts. It flies up in the sky and there is a big explosion, but it doesn't end there. There is another rocket coming from the explosion and one more time. After some explosions there is only a very small rocket left. This small rocket fires of the biggest explosion of them all. The kid won the competition and got a golden slipper.

I'm by an army camp and they are training for war. There is a big airplane flying very close to the ground and it's releasing big bombs of different sizes and shapes. I think it's weird that it isn't only loaded with one kind of bomb.

I'm by our summer place and I fly with some people. I'm not that good and it's really hard to fly. I don't even manage to fly off the ground. This was a scary dream but I don't remember what was scary.

Notes: Me and my mom talked about war and it's negative effects.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Semi-lucid jumps through different times and places. E.g. Watching some japanese kids graduation ceremony in a school.
Then staying a while at a really nice place where people from my sangha are settling. There are two locations with bungalows in green hills. I am staying in one, but taking a bus to the other, out of curiosity. In there people are gathering in the garden and enjoying a spontaneous party. It gets late for me to go back to my location, so I kinda stay there, but no place to sleep.

I reencounter Evangelion, he is married now, but we kiss and without much talking we plan to see each other secretly. To avoid text messages and phone calls, he subscribed to a local paper I just had with me and we post ads with appointments to meet that only we can understand. The location is a kind of a motel in a train station. We meet there. We don't talk much. We start getting comfortable, I prepare to take a shower, but he challenges me to talk for a bit. So we lay down in bed and talk. He asks me if I have any big regret. I think hard and first say no, but then start telling him the story about Wolfboy and how we were in love and he proposed to me. Someone knocks on the door. I go check and see a woman looking angry. It's not his wife, so I open, but in an angle she can't see Evangelion anyway. She asks if I am alone, I say yes, she calls me a liar, says she heard two voices talking and one was a man. I say go away and shut the door to her face. But there is another door on the back and someone knocks there too. I tell Evangelion to hide as I send her away but she just barges in with another woman, they see him crawling away but don't see who he is. Anyway they don't know any of us. They just start preaching that they are some kind of women's league for the protection of marriages and they disrupt lovers meeting.

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Lucid dream

I went to bed around 11:30 PM, and forgot to set my alarms. I woke up around 3 AM from a dream and didn't voice memo it, so I only remember a sliver:

I was in a store with a friend of mine (Brooks, who shows up in a lot of dreams apparently) and we were looking around, when I spotted a rack of video-games. Curious, I stopped to thumb through them (this also happens a lot in dreams, lol, I guess in real life too in thrift stores). There were games there of various generations but no prices really lept out at me as good enough to pull the trigger on.

That's pretty much it for that fragment, then I remember lying down to WILD. I forced myself to get up and use the restroom (I was about to fall back asleep straight out) and when I got back I laid down and closed my eyes. It went very quickly, and suddenly I was startled back into waking mind by the sensation that my whole body was vibrating and there was a loud, train like sound in my ears. I knew these were just sleep vibrations, and as they passed, I laid still and listened. I kept my eyes shut and felt my heart beating fast from the start that I was given.

At this point I don't remember what happened. I think that after the noises passed, I may have actually been asleep and didn't realize it. It's also possible the noises passed, left me startled in bed, and I quickly fell asleep normally. I probably should have sat up and reality checked after the noises passed, because it may have been a totally successful WILD if I had.

At any rate, when I woke up this morning it was from another fragment:

I was in my car driving up a high-way ramp when for some reason I pulled over onto the side of the ramp and waited for a gap in cars (something made me do this but I can't remember what). Eventually, a gap came and I pulled out into the road, then pulled into the left lane because there was nobody there behind me and I figured I'd have time to get up to speed. As I did this and turned forwards, I realized another car was coming down the ramp the wrong way, and I quickly yanked my car into the right lane again. There were two guys riding on one motorcycle in-front of me, and I put on the brakes to not run into them. They put on their brakes at the same time, and as I wasn't braking hard enough, I pulled my wheel to the right to go off the ramp again. However, they pulled to the right too, and my car gently pushed their motorcycle off the embankment down the hill, while they both jumped off.

I quickly jumped out of my car and, for some reason, immediately ran down the hill to catch the motorcycle. When I got there, I picked it up and realized it wasn't much of a motorcycle at all-- it was like a little tiny motorcycle for children. I picked it up and hauled it back up the hill and set it on the pavement. The guy who was driving was the older brother of two siblings, and he apologized to me first, saying that he had slammed on the brakes because he was afraid there was a car coming, and if he had just kept going it would have been fine. I told him it was okay, I also could have just gone around them I guess, but anyway no harm done. Then he tried to start his bike and it wouldn't work.

I told him, which I knew from earlier in the dream somehow, that there was a mechanic up the ramp and across the street on the other side, as I walked with him and his brother up the ramp. I pointed it out to him, and he went inside a nearby building for some reason (I think it was a fast food joint). I started walking across the street (for some reason abandoning my car), and that's the last thing I remember before waking up.

only dreams i had this week were very short.

one dream with Jesus in it, but i don't really remember it.

Another dream had something to do with picard. He had all these extra starfleet shirts or something and some teenager guy needed a new shirt.

Nothing about Jamie. I hope to remember something good from her this week.

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7/3/2020
Took melatonin and B-complex vitamins
Fell asleep at 1:30AM.
Woke up at 6:30AM, woke up, went pee, came back. Used SSILD
Woke up at 8AM,
Woke up at 9:30AM, with recall. Wrote down all the dreams I remembered

What to work on: Writing down tags upon waking from alarm and using SSILD
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Dream 1(,slow breach and clear, Shaun watching me play game): I was in a slow-mo breach and clear sort of game and after clearing a few rooms it was done and I was interacting with this small screen which itself was a game. Shaun was watching me play this one and I felt bad because I thought I had been playing it for hours and he was just watching.

Dream 2(matteo and I living in room, cant find underwear, teacher offering prize, principal robot): Matteo and I were living in a room together only a school trip or something. I needed to change but couldnt find where I put my underwear. Right before we decided to leave a girl(maybe erica) came down the stairwell in our place. We all went to a presentation and a teacher was trying to get our attentiont by offering a prize to the people who do. I wanted the prize. We all sat down and then he started talking and handed off the presentation to the principal. Shortly after the principle started, a robot that looked very much like her came in through the door on the side and started saying stuff. It appeared preplanned.

Dream 3(Risk in backyard): I was playing risk with the boys in my backyard and at one point the board was gone and only the pieces remained on the grass so we decided fuck it the game is over.

Dream 4(course w/ boxes and moving platforms, tons of hot tubs and closer wants to get us all in trouble): I was in this VR game where you go through like this dungeon and I had to kill some baddies and find the end. I found a crowbar and another item and was wielding those. There were things to crouch under or I had to lie under one at one point. I found the end. Then there was this course with a moving platform that went next to a lot of glowing boxes and I had to use my weapon to touch all the boxes and they would change color. I finished the course and then Phoebe wanted me to jump and hit the last ones so I tried that. Then when we were done on our course we visited Lorne's course where there was a ton of hot tubs lined up and he was putting the covers back on to close up. He put them on TERRIBLY so we started readjusting them and an employee of the palce came out saying he didnt like how we did it and he had already had to fix them once today. He wanted to get us all in trouble and so I told him it was only Lorne, we were just helping to fix it. He didnt believe us so I told him to look at the footage from the cameras and he said oh for sure he will.

Finally a WILD success to report! WILD 12 did the trick, and was followed by a DEILD of its own! Let's get into it:

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

12:00 AM - 3:00 AM

I fell asleep so late last night I decided to abandon my first 2 hour alarm at 1:30 AM, because I knew if I slept only 1h30m, I wouldn't have had any dreams. When my alarm woke me at 3:00 AM however (approx. 3 hours of sleep), I remembered a dream!

I was trying to go into some kind of swimming pool/resort place, but I realized my phone was losing charge and I wouldn't be able to listen to any music/books, so I decided not to stay after all. I was in my car driving home, when I crossed through the parking lot of some place called Cafe... something. I can't remember the name, but as I was looking at it, I thought-- that sounds pretty nice. I could go for some coffee. And it also was the end of my work-day and I was driving home anyway, so I pull over into the parking lot.

There was a lady in a phonebooth nearby who was arguing so loudly I could hear her screaming, but I couldn't understand what she was saying specifically. I locked my door and started to walk away from my car, and as I got about halfway there, two people came out of the store, a guy and a girl, and I suddenly remembered I left my wallet sitting in the passenger seat of my car. So I went back, unlocked the door, pulled it out, and headed in-- while still listening to phonebooth woman yelling at someone over the phone.

I go into the store and notice it's much larger than I expected, with a full first floor, and also an escalator that goes up to a second floor. I'm a little overwhelmed because I really don't know much about coffee, though I like it alright, so I just start walking around in a counterclockwise circle looking at the walls. As I pass the escalator I see a group of 4-5 children with a woman watching over them, who seem to be getting something for themselves, like decaffeinated coffee, and they're all picking various flavors and creamers while she watches. I walk past them and notice I'm in a "kids' section" of coffee, and just sort of glance over things there and keep walking.

As I'm walking near the back aisles of the store, I hear a woman say, "everything alright?" and I just ignore her for some reason, thinking she's not talking to me I guess. She says again, "Can I help you with anything?" and I turn and look at her a little startled and say, "Oh, no, I'm just enjoying looking around," with a little laugh, and then say, "all this coffee is making me almost want to buy something." She laughs too and says, "Imagine how I feel working here." I notice she's an older lady, probably in her 50s, a little chubby and wrinkly and she seems nice. I tell her, "I just was on my way home and saw the store and decided to come have a look," and she says, "Oh, you're on your way home, did you stop downtown?" I tell her no, and she says, "There's an film festival happening there, you should have went and looked around!"

Someone had mentioned this to me earlier in the dream I remember, but I can't remember when, but as I was telling her, "yeah, someone mentioned that to me earlier," I woke up.

When I woke up, I decided to do my WILD, and as usual I fell asleep without transitioning.

3:00 AM - 4:30 AM

I woke up again before my next alarm which was set at 5 AM, and I think because my alarm has been set at 4:30 I didn't comprehend this, because I got up as usual, peed, and laid back down. Here I began thinking about King Yoshi's WILD Guide which I have mentioned before. In it, he mentions that a technique for stopping dry-spells is to pretend that you are an expert at what you're doing, and very confident you'll have the lucid dream.

Taking this a step further in my groggy state, I first start saying to myself, "Oh, yes, I know exactly what I'm doing," in my head, and, "I'll definitely succeed at this WILD, I do it all the time, it's very natural to me, like breathing." I'm kinda amused by this and suddenly while adjusting myself I'm just playing along with the idea and find myself talking to a fake audience, saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to see a lucid dream performed live on stage for your entertainment-- I'll be lying here and for the next two hours you'll be utterly entertained by the world of fantasy unfolding on the screen above your heads, whereon you can see everything I can see..."

I continue running with this mind-voice, promising them that it will be fantastic, as I comfy myself, then saying, "Now, I need absolute silence from the audience as I enter into one of the most difficult parts, wherein I must fall asleep comfortably," and I chuckle at this and get comfortable on my side and begin trying to count down in my head with each breath in and out.

4:30 AM - 5 AM

Suddenly, I'm awoken by my actual alarm going off, and I roll over and shut it off and lie back down, mentally saying to my fake audience, "That was a close call, ladies and gentlemen, what you saw was almost me failing for the entire night, but fear not! The alarm has caught me and now I will roll over and begin anew, and once more I need total silence please." I laid down on my right side now, and began counting down again, and quickly, I found myself lying in my bed in the morning with the sun shining through the window and the smell of breakfast from the other room.

I sat up, thinking, darnit, I messed up again! But then I reach up and plug my nose and find that I can breathe. I'm baffled by this, because I feel 100% awake and as if this is the realest, most regular awakening ever. Everything looks normal, sounds normal, feels normal. I plug my nose and try again and can still breathe. I'm so confused I think something is wrong with my nose, I can't understand how I can breathe.

But, I think, I have to be dreaming! There's nothing else that it could mean! So I basically leap out of bed and look at my hands, which look normal, and I start rubbing them together to increase the stability of the dream. I walk through the kitchen where my dad's making breakfast, and tell him I'm going outside. He seems puzzled by this but I open the door without waiting for his response and walk down the sidewalk and into the front yard. I'm still telling myself, "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming!" because everything is so real I'm afraid I could lose it at any time.

As I'm walking into the front yard I remember my goal of "splitting a mountain with my aura" for the lucid dream tasks of July. So, wondering how to even do that, I begin screaming at the top of my lungs trying to somehow "charge up" like in DragonBall Z or something. Nothing really happens and I feel my voice becoming raspy, and have a faint moment of hoping I'm not actually awake and screaming in my front yard at the top of my lungs, lol.

But, to quell my fears, I immediately run an acre or two into the yard as fast as possible, and I'm able to run so quickly I know that it can't be real life. I stop again, and begin yelling again, trying to do... something, and my next idea is to stomp on the ground so hard it sends my aura out and splits the mountains. So I stomp on the ground, and nothing happens. Next, I bend down and punch the ground as hard as I can, then stand up and look around. Suddenly, I notice something falling and look up, only to see the moon has turned dull grey and is falling through the atmosphere breaking into pieces and falling to Earth, lol. So, I think, I can destroy the moon-- surely I can destroy a mountain. (Also I don't know why the moon was directly overhead during the day, don't ask questions.)

Again I punch the ground as hard as I can, then look up once more, and in the distance I see a mountain breaking into pieces and crumbling into dust, and I feel self-satisfied that I achieved my goal. When I woke up I feared I had failed, thinking the goal was to "split the mountain," but it turns out the goal was simply to "break a mountain," so I think I passed after all!

Content with this, I remember I had wanted to explore the mountain after it split. It kind of just crumpled into dust, but I figured it still might be worth seeing what was there. So I head over that way and find some small lumps of tiny mountain still standing next to a house. What's more, they seem to be lightly glowing, so I begin kicking at them and trying to see what's underneath. Eventually I take my hands and slash the air in their direction, as if cutting X's into them, and soon one begins to erupt, as if it were a tiny volcano. Without thinking I reach out with my hand and catch a piece of lava, and find out it is unbearably hot and drop it on the ground (not sure what I was expecting). I pull my hood up over my head (suddenly wearing a hoodie I guess) and pick up a piece of rock that has some lava sitting on it, and throw it at the nearby house, just to see if I can catch it on fire (I guess I'm kind of destructive, huh?).

It doesn't, so I head over to the house; I somehow teleport inside the house and don't know how. This confuses me and makes me worry I'm losing control, so I begin rubbing my hands together again to reassert control and stability in the dream, and then I decide to exit the house by holding onto a banister and kicking my way through a window. I do so and slide out onto the ground awkwardly, but get out nonetheless, lol.

I walk away from the houses and notice that I'm on a hill, overlooking a golf-course, and there's another hill above me-- and people are hitting golf-balls off the hill into the course as if it's a driving range. I head up on the hill and at this time, a friend of mine, Brooks, comes and begins talking but I don't listen well, and soon after a girl he used to date comes up and begins complaining that someone has broken the window out of her house. She questions him, and then me, and remembering that I don't have to stay here for this and have better things to do, I smile at her and then turn and jump off the hill and begin gliding down into the golf course with my arms out like wings.

However, I'm not satisfied to glide, and think about how I always have trouble truly flying. I remember how on the forums here at Dreamviews, someone said that the key to dream control was to simply know that it would work. As a symbolic gesture, I simply drop my arms by my side and begin saying to myself, "I don't need to worry, I'll simply lift into the air and float. This is my mind; I control everything here."

Surely enough, I begin rising into the air, fairly rapidly, up above the trees, until suddenly I see a cliff overhang I hadn't noticed before. I float along underneath it and land on a small platform and notice there is a nametag on it, and a ragtag house. The nametag says "William" something or other, and I turn around to see a little anthropomorphic mole (standing on his hind legs) looking up at me. When turning around, I accidentally bump him and he falls off the platform, like 10 stories, and hits the ground. I look down after him trying to ascertain that he's okay, and when I see him get up and brush himself off I decide he is.

I start walking into his little house (uninvited, lol) and soon encounter another little mole person who is pointing a shovel at me warily, and I tell him, "Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to intrude!" and he threatens me with the tiny shovel again, and I say, "Your friend is okay, he's coming, look!" and I point down at him coming up in a little elevator. The one pointing the shovel at me continues holding it out but looks down at him.

And suddenly, just like that, the lights go out. I have no idea what time it is, but I realize I've woken up, and I hold my eyes firmly shut and just lie there. I feel like I'm struggling to fall asleep again. Eventually, I open my eyes and I'm in my room, but now it's dark. Once more I think, "Darn, the DEILD attempt didn't work," and start to get up, thinking it's the middle of the night still. Then I stop, and plug my nose again as I'm getting out of bed. And I find I can breathe! Once again I'm baffled by how real the false awakening feels, and how quickly I dismissed it as being real life, and am glad I did another reality check before taking it for granted. I stand up and go over to my door in the dark, and think, "When I open this door, I'll be overlooking the rings of Saturn," which is the first thing that comes to mind. I open the door, and instead I'm looking at my hallway, and my dog is at my feet wagging her tail. I close the door in her face (lol), and think, "When I open this door, I'll be somewhere fantastic!" and I open the door again. Once again, I'm in the hallway and my dog is at my feet wagging her tail.

I say, "alright, fine," and walk through the door with my dog following me. It's now light as I exit the hallway, and my dad is in the kitchen making breakfast, and I say, "Good lord, how long have you been making breakfast?" and he says, "About an hour," (LOL) and I walk past him and go out the door into the yard again. This time I stop and bend down to pet my dog, and I notice her eyes are shut and her face is even more greyed than in real life, and I sympathetically say, "Oh no, you're getting all old girl!" and as I say it I realize I've made a mistake. She starts bending down and coughing up phlegm and stuff and I think, "Oh no, I set the expectation that my dog is old and sickly and now she's gonna die in front of me," so I start backing away from her and saying, "No, just kidding, you're young and spritely! You're even younger than real life! I've never seen you so energetic!" but I'm also backing away from her because I don't want to get distracted with this and want to go do more lucid dreaming stuff.

As I'm heading into the driveway, I look back and see my dog is indeed young and healthy again like when she was a puppy, and she comes bounding down after me into the driveway. I start jumping in the air repeatedly, thinking to fly again, and then I stop and think, "Oh yeah, there was that other dream task of milking something!"

No sooner did I think this than I suddenly found myself trapped in some strange, half-awake state, unable to move. It was like one of my eyes was seeing my bed in real life, and the other eye was seeing the dream, and the dream was suddenly "locked up." I was just stuck there floating in space, and I closed my real life eye (this was purely an illusion/dream, not reality I think) and still I was stuck in the dream, but now I was back in the mole house sitting on a sofa, unable to move. There was a man there talking to me about lucid dreaming in theory, and I told him, "Actually, I'm lucid dreaming right now, I just can't move!"

He went bug-eyed at this and then began scoffing at the idea, and I said, "No, no! I really am, I'm just stuck!" and while ignoring his scoffing I somehow accidentally found myself awake for real.

I did another reality check JUST TO BE SURE, and then laid down again in my bed and patted myself on the back. Finally, at least one decent LD after a week of work!

Edit: listening to my audio logs I also discovered I reported a dream fragment I had forgotten, but I don't know when it happened:

I had a dream I was playing Runescape (lol) and came across these two guys swarming around this emerald lying on the ground as if they were protecting it. I walked up to them and watched them for a bit and then just ran up and took it off the ground. They both ran after me telling me they were trying to protect it and I needed to drop it, and I just said, "No, that's okay," and logged out and changed to another world (lol). Once I got there I used a spell to go home and then walked away still holding the emerald, but I accidentally wandered into a dangerous area and got the crap kicked out of me and died, dropping all my stuff.

Panicking a little, I ran back there again and picked it all back up and tried to run back to the home town, but again got killed and dropped everything again, but a little closer back to home.

But I woke up shortly thereafter.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

My cousin David showed me some pain diving yesterday. It's a competition were people are supposed to jump from high places into water and do flips and trix.

I'm by an inside pool but I'm only a spectator. I don't see anyone but I know David is jumping from a high height and I hear and know the water is splashing. My mom is there and she is sceptical as she says that this seems way to dangerous.

As a formless observer I see myself at the front door of the house where I'm currently staying. There's two other people with me. C stands beside the sofa and U. Ch in front of the kitchen table. The observer part in me locates an object approaching from outside towards the entrance. It is a square-looking thing that my dream self recognizes as my reality check (it is). It rolls its way up the steps and stops before the door. But my dream self denies it passage, explaining to my two guests, that because I don’t know what the object entails, unless we're to open the door and find out, then it would "defeat the purpose" of the reality check altogether, and so I couldn't invite it in.

* * *

Authorities are searching for a boy who has been missing. I'm inside a completely dark room covered in black drapes, accompanied by a creepy lady who holds the boy hostage. This lady, whose name is not known, looks like a very sophisticated clairvoyant dressed in black robes. The kid, who will never speak during the course of the dream, resembles a very young Anakin Skywalker. He is neither scared nor unfazed about his present situation. While we stand together, a bunch of computer screens turn on, revealing the face of FBI agents that know of the boy's whereabouts. The lady leaves the room and escapes.

I'm left with the boy and convince him to tag along. We follow a tunnel that leads to the outskirts of a large castle. We change into new attires to match with the times and setting of this place. The boy in particular now resembles a very young Link, except for his blonde hair. We walk around a lake lying to the side of one of the castle's towers. As we reach the other side of the lake we sneak past some guards standing watch by a gate and reach what appears a small town.

There's folk going by doing their business. The streets are crowded with merchants, women, and children. A string of houses lie on both sides of the street. The armors of the city watch shine under the light of the sun as they patrol around every now and then. If we walk close to any of the town's inhabitants a prompt appears above their heads like those in a video game.

We make our way to the roof of these houses to remain hidden from the authorities and think about our best course of action. The kid seems to take this little adventure rather well. From above, an underground passage leading to a cellar lies to our left. When we reach the bottom, we find a large room of beds with people sleeping. I turn on some lights to see what we can use.

Suddenly the agents (also dressed in armor) have discovered our location and reach the gate with a whole army to spare. I frantically search for weapons but can't find any. A lady approaches the inlet to the cellar. She interrogates the man who guards the entrance. He refuses to speak so she sticks a sword up his side and leaves him to die. She returns for her army but we take this opportunity to sneak out and run for our lives.

We run around the corners of the town, and climb atop people's homes, keeping out of grasp from the city watch. On rooftop we find a long round door that covers a tunnel. It is a long path that leads to the other side of town, away from danger. We enter and I find three sets of sandals and shoes, mostly light to wear and white in color. They look beautiful and I can't help but store them in my bag.

Outside we reach another gate surrounded by a dangerous current. The precipice is tall enough to prove deadly. I fall and in true "Dark Souls" fashion lose my "souls". Now I'm trapped on top of a very small hill while three crocodiles roam around in the water.

* * *

There's a door I keep opening and closing. I keep explaining to someone or more than one person about what happens when you open a door. I make sure they know that it takes at least three times for the person who crosses it while entering for it to mean something, and the same when someone exits the same amount of times. Was it perhaps, lucidity? Ah, the memory eludes me.

Again I won't describe my WILD process other than what has changed. As before I set three alarms, but as you'll see below only two of them were used.

I attempted both the "counting down (and up)" WILD anchor, as well as once trying the "FILD." All three were failures, though I obviously don't blame the anchors. I'm not sure what is going wrong, I just seem to be unable to keep my consciousness, there hits a point and suddenly I'm out like a light-switch.

That being said, I had a few strange experiences last night that I can't remember the timing of.

-----

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

I went to be at 11:30 AM.

11:30 PM - 1:30 AM

I woke up and found I remembered no dreams (as yesterday, it seems 2 hours is not enough for me to get REM cycles going. I'll try 2h30m next time. I got up, peed, went back to bed and attempted a WILD. Almost no sooner than I laid down and closed my eyes, I realized it was 3:00 AM!

1:30 AM - 3 AM

I still don't know what happened here. Part of me thinks I may have succeeded in my WILD and had a false awakening, but I only remember turning off my 3 AM alarm once, so it seems like it had to be real. I should have reality checked, or maybe I did, I can't even remember. I just remember I laid my head down, closed my eyes, and without any dreams or even a feeling of passage of time, it was 3 AM and I was awake again!

I learned for one: I need to start doing reality checks the SECOND I wake up. I keep telling myself to do this and forgetting, sometimes remembering as I'm headed towards the bathroom or etc. I need to do them as soon as I wake up. I also think I will get in the habit of recording a voice memo just saying, "I woke up at 3 AM, and don't remember any dreams" so I can be sure in the morning if I had false awakenings. Anyway...

When I did this WILD, I can't remember if it was during the WILD or during a dream, but I have this weird memory of seeing a very white woman's face and upper body (I don't mean caucasian, I mean whited out, like a piece of paper, and featureless), against a light blue background. And just really trying to get my way inside what felt like a dream. It was as if I was looking through a telescope, and if I tried, I could get closer, but then I would slide back out again and the black circle around the image would close.

3 AM - 4:30 AM

I dreamed I was at my middle-school, but it was actually a college. Somehow, just like last night, I managed to lose my shoes at school, and ended up wearing a pair of white sneakers-- I was looking down at them walking through the hallways. I ended up walking outside onto the sidewalk where our busses used to line up (I've had many a dream about this particular sidewalk and missing the bus for some reason, then having to walk home-- perhaps a dream trigger).

As I walked outside I noticed there was a hubbub regarding a giant trailer carrying multiple huge missiles sitting in the parking lot. Almost before anyone could do anything about it, the school principal (who was actually my high-school principal) jumped in a nearby bus, hooked it to the trailer, and backed it out of the parking lot into the adjoining parking lot-- so quickly that he ran the truck up onto the curb (causing us all to go, "ohhhh!"). The trailer smacked against the front of the bus after the collision, and put a huge dent in the back of it. Nobody seemed to know why this thing was here, but the principal took it upon himself to get the dent out. He took a giant wet sponge on a stick and just started beating the crap out of the back of the dent, shouting, "no problem! It'll be out in no time!" and similar.

Now here was a time skip. I may have woken up temporarily, as evidenced by this next bit:

I was now at my home, which was an incredibly ratty rusty shack built up on a hill in the middle of what looked like a literal dump. There was a ravine running near our house which essentially served as our driveway. For some reason, I was lying in my ratty bed in my room that was missing two walls (simply looking out onto the night-sky and this dump), and next to me was this giant missile launcher from school. I had somehow ended up with this thing in my house, though it wasn't on a trailer anymore, it was simple a computer console attached to a couple missiles.

Now for some reason, I thought it seemed like an incredibly grand idea to set the timer on these missiles, which made a beeping noise, as my anchor in attempting to do a WILD... in my dream. So I set the beeping timer, and I realized I set it wrongly. I wanted it to go longer, because I obviously didn't want the missile to launch, I just wanted the timer to run so I could listen to it as an anchor. So I tried to clear the timer. And clear it I did, because the missile immediately launched into the air, changed direction and shot off. I quickly looked at the console to try and see where it was headed and noticed the coordinates were a few miles south-east from here. I got up from the bed and looked out over the demolished wall of my room and saw the missile land with tremendous impact, creating a giant mushroom cloud, and causing the entire city nearby to light up. All the nearby animals were barking and car alarms were going off in the middle of the night.

Panicking, I ran back to the missile console unsure of what to do. How did I even end up with this? I couldn't remember. Would I be put in jail for accidentally launching a missile? I'm an adult, not a child, so I'd certainly be tried as a competent adult who did it on purpose. Why else would I steal the missiles? Then I noticed the timer was ticking again. Once more I panicked and tried to turn it off, and once more I immediately launched the missile, which shot off and landed in the same place with a similar explosion. I imagined everything within a mile of it was dead already, so it didn't really matter, but now I worried that somehow they could trace the origin of the missile.

I ran into the other room and grabbed my keys, and snuck through the room where my dad was sleeping on the floor. I felt bad leaving him and like it was my duty to stay with him, but I knew I didn't have time to wake him up or explain. I figured he would be fine since it seemed easily provable I was the one who launched the missiles accidentally. I snuck through the room, and went outside-- but as I looked downhill to where my car was, I saw flashing red and blue lights. They were already rolling up and surrounding where I could exit, so I instantly turned to my left to try to run away, and saw a fence about 5 feet high.

I ran at it and dove over it (and under the barbed wire about a foot off the top), and as I hit the ground on the other side I woke up in my bed, relieved I didn't have to really run from the cops!

I woke up before my alarm set at 5:00! At this point I had quite a bit of dream to record, thought back through it, and instead of describing it all (which has taken upwards of 5 minutes some nights), tried to hit the key points in my voice memo and hoped I could reconstruct it in the morning. I also went ahead and disabled my 5 AM alarm. I tried another WILD, which I felt pretty much like I'd succeed at, but once again, nothing.

4:30 AM - 9 AM

I could only recall a dream fragment at this point. Before I went to bed last night I had been reading "King Henry VI - Part 1" in my Shakespeare's Complete Works book. Lately in my spare-time I've been watching "Taxi" (an 80's sitcom) on Hulu, as well. Both of those things are relevant, because:

At some point before I woke up, I had a dream I was watching "King Henry VI - Part 1" being acted on Youtube, and the recording was from the '80s. But much to my delight, I realized as I turned it on and watched it that it was King Henry VI as acted by several of the main actors from the sitcom, "Taxi." The scene opened in some kind of cellar and inside were Judd Hirsch, Jeff Conaway, Tony Danza, and Marilu Henner acting as the various Dukes and Earls during the scene where Tony and Judd were acting as the Duke of Somerset and Richard Plantagenet arguing and getting people on their sides by having them pluck and wear white/red roses.

Afterwards, they all headed upstairs to the courtroom scene where Richard (Judd in this case) tries to have his family status as Duke of York restored, and who else to play the young King Henry VI, than Danny DeVito! When the camera scrolled up to him he was picking his nose sitting on the throne and the audience gave a huge laugh. They came up and began appealing to him in Shakespearean words, with the correct lines, (you know, 'thee,' 'thou' etc). Danny DeVito simply looked down after a few lines and said, "What do you bums want? Speak regular!" which elicited another huge laugh.

Unfortunately I can't remember almost anything else from this dream, which is a shame because it actually made me laugh when I woke up too. If only this were a real thing I could watch, lol.

Afterwards I got up and went about my morning routine!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7/3/2020
Before bed I did multiple prayers to increase recall, vividness and to remember to used SSILD after first couple alarms. Also recalled the events of the day while falling asleep.
Fell asleep at 1:30AM.
Woke up at 6:30AM, wrote down 1 tag
Woke up at 8AM, wrote down 1 tag
Woke up at 9:30AM, with recall no recall. Laid down for a while and wrote a bunch of tags.

What to work on: Writing down tags upon waking from alarm and using SSILD
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Dream 1(party w/ roxanne): I was going to a party with a couple of the boys and when we entered we both decided to not say hi to anyone and go straight for the drinks. We thought that was funny. Roxanne hugged me from behind. I was surprised and happy to see her. She said she had something for me, we all sat at the table and she had a bunch of foreign candies. She gave a bunch to me and we talked about them. There were these green chinese candies I really like and then a knock-off version of them.

Dream 2(Chill @ karleys w/ poop, sleeping, celebrate w/ kids, backflip, tired backflip):Some friend and I went over to Karleys place and were hanging out on the couch. We were there for a pool party. At one point Karley fell asleep on me. To get out of that situation I said I was going to go get my bathing suit. I came back and then asked katelyn about all the poop that was piled up on the table. She said it was her dogs, that was the room he poops in while no one is home and they put it there to throw it out. Later we went outside to the pool and grassy area. We were sitting at some small tables like for kids almost. Then a bunch of other people came to celebrate with us, like a bunch of parents and then a lot of small kids. After a while a few people started going to the pool and Matthew was going to do a backflip so the kids were cheering him on. He did it and they all really liked that. I wanted to get away from the kids so I went to the pool too but when I tried to back flip I was so tired that I kind of did a backwards dive without being stretched out.

Dream 3(work, no labels, call): I was at work but it was a special event because we were not at our usual location. We were doing well but having a bunch of problems with the computers. Labels werent printing right and me and Dave were trying to get this working again. We were both trying to use 1 computer to reprint this 1 label and then the screen started doing some weird thing where it looked like it was slowly generating an image. He gave up and I went back at it. I didnt get it to work properly. I also got a call at one point and I took it in the back. I remember enjoying the call. At the end it was me and 1 other employee left.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening[/B]

Among humans there are reptilians and vampires living peacefully as humans. They are so integrated nobody even cares about who's who, basically people have vampire or reptilian blood so diluted over time they don't even manifest powers, it's just traces of genes in their blood. But some reptilians started to manifest shapeshifting powers again and secretly organized and decided they want to rise to power. They are deeply infiltrated in the police and with the support of a large police force they attack a vampire "church". They aren't even able to fight back and they are totally massacred. I was nearby with friends and we watched it all in shock. Curfews are implemented, horrible stories of random groups and people being attacked and killed and heads cut off. But then some degree of normalcy is established and the authorities themselves implement rounding up all vampires, supposedly for their safety, but we know they re being sent to concentration camps or killed. I am in school when a letter arrives and the teachers call me in front of everybody. They are telling the other kids that people like me are being taken to beautiful camps with leisure activities and they even have a brochure to show me. I call BS and tell them all I have watched massacres and kids like me being beheaded and serving as food for reptilians. And there is something they don't know about me, I can fly. So I quickly jump on a window and fly away. The teachers sound the alarm and they activate a chase but they can't fly like I do so I get to a safe distance quickly. I draw plans to get a compass and a map and fly at night and hide during the day, so I am not spotted, until I reach the neighboring country which seems not to have descended into madness.

Today I won't bother to describe the specifics of my WILD attempts so much, not much has changed other than this:

I read KingYoshi's WILD technique last night and took away a couple things (I'm still following Sageous' class, I just wanted to see what other information was out there that I could mix with his to fit my situation):

• It reinforced my idea that maybe I should just freely move as a way of helping myself fall asleep more quickly, which seems to work for him. I don't know if it's "right," but it seems right for my situation. However I have to find a way to strike a balance between moving whenever I feel like it, and moving when if I waited a little longer I would have made it.
• I can make multiple WILD attempts in a night. This hadn't really occurred to me, so last night I set 3 alarms, woke up, did very quick WBTBs (went and peed if I needed to, went back to bed).
• If I make multiple WILD attempts, not only my chance of success goes up per day, but also I have plenty of chances to improve my dream recall.

-----

Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

11:30 PM - 1:30 AM

I woke up from my first WBTB. Here I struggled to think but couldn't recall any dreams that had happened. After just 2 hours this wasn't surprising, but I attempted a WILD anyway, and fell asleep unaware.

1:30 AM - 3:30 AM

I woke up for my second WBTB and had some dream which I traced backwards and then recorded in a voice memo!

I was in some kind of store and ran into my friend from high-school (I need to start doing reality checks whenever I see or think about a friend from high-school because they show up a lot and I don't see them much irl...) whom we'll just call Sean. Sean was hooking up and demonstrating some Call of Duty in VR, as if the store were his house. I watched what he was doing, and we may have talked I can't remember (this is at the edges of what I could recall from this dream).

After watching him, I wanted to play it too. So almost out of nowhere I pulled on a VR headset and started up the game and began playing some kind of tutorial section. However, not long into playing the game, another friend of mine (we'll call him Brooks, and we do still talk)'s mother showed up and said something about the game, so I paused it, and she made a comment about how the game had frozen up. I told her I had just paused it, and she just laughed or something and walked away.

After the distraction I decided not to play anymore and took the headset off. At this point, I turned my attention towards this connected room in the store which was a bathroom and a had a shower in it. I had this shower-head attachment that my mother wanted me to install for her, so I attempted to do so. The instructions were kind of complicated and had like a 6-step process for after it was installed, about using it 2-3 times in various conditions, then taking apart and running it again, and etc.

I installed it and then ran it a couple times, and Brooks' dad now (who is a handyman type) shows up and offers to help, kind of criticizing my work jokingly. I hand him the thing and he takes it apart, and he's reading the instructions and starts to tell me to do something, when someone walks up and starts talking to him about some kind of event or something (I couldn't remember what he had been saying, I was looking at the shower head thing, and noticing how it was put together inside).

While this was happening, I heard piano music coming from outside the room behind me. I thought this was Sean in the other room now playing piano at first. But it turned out to be my alarm going off and its piano music, and I eventually woke up!

3:30 AM - 5:30 AM

I was at a convention, standing on the edge of a tall roof of a building inside a ginormous warehouse (HUGE, the size of a city) and I was trying to get art commissioned for a friend, when I ran into ANOTHER person from high-school, Zach (man, they might seriously be a dream trigger after all) who agreed to do an art commission for me. However, he told me he wanted to do it of me, and he wanted to paint me as Spider-Man. Amused, I just said, "yeah okay, sure," and he told me there was something he wanted to show me and asked me to follow him. He suddenly stepped off the building and flew away over a couple more buildings, so I jumped off the building too and followed him-- suddenly, I had Spider-Man's powers, and I was using web to stick to buildings and pull myself up and over. As I went overtop one of the first buildings, I made a parachute out of web like Spider-Man does in the comics and hovered down to ground level where some construction was happening.

Down there, they were working on this enormously tall tower which consisted of just one extremely skinny midsection going up hundreds of stories in the air, culminating in a big wide platform-- basically the most structurally unsound thing possible. So I somehow get up on the tower, I don't know how, and as we're standing on top, the thing predictably starts wobbling. The floor is shimmying side to side, and suddenly, it collapses and the 10 or so people standing on it go down the 100 floors with it, but I remain just hovering in the air for some reason, I guess because I saw myself as a superhero at this point (though not that much of a hero because I didn't even try to help them, lol, though they were all somehow fine anyway).

So there's all this stuff still stuck to the ceilings and walls where they were working on the tower (it was near the roof of the warehouse), so I glide down and ask them if they want any of that stuff. They name a few things so I fly back up with my fists in-front of me like Super-Man, and bring down some bags and drop them off, and then I'm getting ready to leave the convention-- I exit the warehouse, jump in my car, and am driving home through a path I'm not sure I really recognize (in-fact, I'm feeling pretty lost).

For some reason, I suddenly got pulled over by some cops. Also somehow, I realized I was driving from the backseat of the vehicle. At this point, my real life alarm started going off, but in the dream I thought that the alarm was coming from my phone (which it was, in real life lol), and afraid of pissing off the police officer because I had music playing, I took the phone and stuffed it in the glovebox (... on the back of the right back-seat) to try and quiet it down.

The cops then came up to the back door, two of them, a younger and older guy, and I put my hands up on the back-seat to show where my hands were so they didn't see me messing around in my glovebox. The cop started questioning me, and he took my license. Beside me in the cup-holder I had an almost empty Powerade, and he asked if it was alcohol. I said it wasn't, and he reached in the car and took it out and sniffed it and said, "Yeah, it smells like alcohol." I protested that I didn't even drink, but he handed it to his partner who took it and told me they'd be testing it.

Then for some reason he asked for my keys, and I was pretty sure that wasn't allowed of him to ask but I just took them out and handed them to him anyway, and then next thing I knew he was asking for my shoes (lol), so I took those off and handed them to him also. Now him and his partner got in the car with me, still in the backseat, but driving from the front-seat and his older partner riding shotgun. Somehow, suddenly, I was scooted over to the right seat and now also some blonde woman was riding in the back-left seat.

At this point I suspect this is not a normal police stop (lol), and as we're driving along his older partner pulls out his gun and starts waving it in the air and I realize he's extremely drunk. They continue driving to my house, weirdly, and eventually his partner starts getting really wild and starts turning around in his seat pointing the gun at me and yelling. I just put my hands up and try not to agitate him, hoping they'll let me out soon.

He then grabs my left hand and puts the muzzle of the gun up against at point blank, and at this point the woman is panicking too. He tells me he's gonna "shoot my hand off," and I don't know what to do, and he starts counting down, so I just lie there thinking "well this is about to really hurt," and wait. Then he counts down to 0 and pulls the trigger and the gun clicks because it was empty, and he laughs but keeps holding my hand.

Next he puts the gun barrel in-between my fingers and starts shooting real bullets out the back-window of my car through my fingers for some reason, not hitting me, just between the gaps. At this point his partner slams on the brakes and pulls him out of the car, as if this was too far. I try to get up and notice his partner is now pointing HIS gun at me from outside and he's dragging this guy away. As they both walk away, carrying my keys still (!), there's a time skip and I realize I'm on a bus.

The bus stops at my house and I get out, and start walking up the driveway with no shoes on lol. I also now had this giant convention bag, which I didn't know where it came from but I was just carrying it with me. As I was walking, my brother drove into the driveway in his car, rolled down the window and said something to me, and as that was happening I woke up!

When I woke up I realized my alarm had been going off for 10 minutes lol. I guess I need to make it a little louder.

5:30 AM - 9:00 AM or something

I tried one more WILD, was unsuccessful, and this time didn't even remember my dreams really, I thought about it a bit and just eventually got up and ate breakfast. I think I woke up out of REM or something because I couldn't remember anything at all.