Non-Lucid Dreams
5th September 2020 Dream: One of several long ones. At a version of the clinic I'm registered with. I see a receptionist in a narrow hall and ask about whether they are still doing appointments. She said that appointments have to be booked nine days in advance, at least. Then I proceed to the waiting room anyway. It's different from how it should be and a whole lot bigger. The room is packed, reminds me of an airport. It's well lit with natural light. I try to find somewhere to wait and become aware that I'm wearing a dust cover mask. it feels like it keeps slipping down and uncovering my nose, which bothers me. Only a few other people are wearing masks of any kind at all. The vast majority is not, I don't feel that this is right but I feel there's nothing to be done about it and carry on. Eventually I find a little corner around a pillar. I think of sitting down at a chair but I remember thinking I don't want to be as close as everyone else is to each other. So I just lean back against the pillar. At some point I realise I'm wearing one of my black t-shirts and the trousers I have typically been wearing lately. My mask slips off again, and I adjust it again. This time I try to make the upper strap stay in place better. I simple consider this recurring thing to be the fault of my choice of wearing a second version I found of the mask at home. (This would have been a good RC moment) I see people come and go, in and out of appointments and the hall. I have thoughts about whether I'll be able to hear my name called from here. Then as I'm waiting, around the corner I spot two black guys are having an argument with each other, they are at opposite ends of the area. Something about a game, but not? One of them is more calm than the other but is also upset. He's chunkier and nerdier in some sense. He has a cap, dark navy colour. His skin is about as dark as the cap, reminds me of Franklin from GTA5 but darker. The angrier guy is taller and is much closer to where I am, he is well built and again partly reminds me of Lamar, but no cap? I forget their words to each other. I become curious if the angrier guy is going to get physical or not in his anger, he does a little, gesticulating violently but seemingly out of frustration, then letting go of the subject and simply walking away. Then when he's left a large number of people follow behind him. For some reason, I eventually leave too. I'm outside, it's an unknown street. I remember a sandstone bridge over the road, it's daytime. Eventually a very full bus goes past, after I'd already crossed the road. There's a white girl, with curly hair (what colour?). She's on the other side of the road, I feel I know her somehow in the dream. I forget exactly what happens next but then I'm going around on the back of a bike or something. Streets remind me of native country. Eventually I/we arrive somewhere. It's a house along a row of impressive houses with a typical local look with sandstone features. There's an open courtyard. Reminds me of Hei's place. Then I'm on foot and it seems to be on a hill/cliff, overlooking a semi-populated area. That girl from before is now sitting on a bench here, naked? She gets up and walks toward a ledge wall and I walk up close. Then, looking down from over the low-ish wall, I see a baby cat trying to climb a tree from lower down to get to us. Fragment: At a beach place, overcast day. There's a big bridge over this bit, really high up. Some rocks at the base of one of the support pillars. It's like a highway overpass? There's writing in Arabic and maybe Hebrew, but also a third language which glyphs I don't recognise or recall. Notes: - I remember the dispute between the two guys was interesting to watch. Looking back at it now, it seems like it was some kind of metaphor for internal debate and the fact that many of the other vague dream characters left with the angry guy kind of reinforces this idea for me. - The mask slipping off on its own is something that I found was happening with some face coverings I tried to wear because of the virus situation. It doesn't happen at all with dust cover masks but this seemed to have slipped by me in the dream. - The second fragment may have been because we recently re-watched Prince of Egypt, a film I didn't remember very well at all anymore.
3rd September 2020 Fragment: Some garden, part of a big house. Remember being there with someone else but not sure who now; also there were some dream characters that were like old schoolmates? I remember the house vaguely, a bit like a manor and fancy glass? Gardens with low hedges. Then I remember walking down a street, typical appearance of my native country, cobbled paths, a road in along the middle, walls painted a white colour. It was daytime, overcast? At a church entrance with my sibling T and at some point we're both waiting for dad, but eventually we go in I think. Dad had gone to a car garage? The church was at the end of the street from before. The church was built out of big limestone blocks. 4th September 2020 Fragment: End of dream, dark area, maybe night time. Sort of urban? There were buildings and maybe scaffolding, wooden planking. There was this wide open hall area but it was still dark or poorly lit and it lead into a more central chamber. Maybe there was a hole in the middle of that chamber? There was a very blue light coming from below and a boss of some kind. Felt like a mix of KF and WoW and the area seemed inspired by the Sceptre of God in PoE. Notes: - The church from the first fragment bears some resemblance to the church we used to go to as a family when I was younger. - I'm thinking now that it's interesting that dreams don't often feature dad, but in this case the dream featured an absence of dad. In my childhood I often felt dad was a bit absent. Besides mom, T was probably who I spent most time with from the direct family. - The blue light has made me curious. Blue lights often have a sort of recurring/stereotypical appearance in dark areas for me if I look back through dreams. There's usually an accompanying sense of mystery.
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid I'm running on a roof with a girl about 11 years old. There are zombies hunting us and we try to escape. There is an elevator that we enter but the zombies are getting closer so we take a door from a pile next to us and block the entrance. A zombie grabs the door and pulls it away. We manage to take the elevator. We manage to escape but decide to take the elevator to an even deeper layer. We press a button but the elevator takes us to the roof again. We have to run but now there's an assassin on the roof that is doing cool flips and is hunting me. She takes a knife and stabs me. Notes: I saw a movie where someone got stabbed yesterday. I'm outside a building and do a RC. It succeeds and I fly away. There is a sharp turn for cars and I follow one of them as flying practice. I manage okey but keeps on following the car. I look into the window and a man that is about 40 years old and big. We interact but I don't remember what we talked about/did. I loose my lucidity. I start to work at a restaurant. I get an assignment to attach advertising papers on the walls. I fail and put the paper on the glass where it's not supposed to be so I take it away and put it on the wall instead. Notes: I am working today at a restaurant IRL. I'm in the schoolyard and Alexandra and Linnéa is walking in front of me. I catch up with them and I'm apparently in a relationship with Linnéa. We walk to the entrance of Chapman and I ask them where they are going. They reply that they are going to a place I have never heard of before. I think about joining them but I decline and walk home instead. On my way home I wonder if it would be fun to go with them. I also think that I have other important things to do home like practicing driver licens theory. Notes: I have always thought Alexandra is cool but I have not seen Linnéa in a long time.
1st September 2020 Unrecorded time. Dream: Long and vivid but left it a while before I started to make notes though. Mostly bits from the end. (recall gap) Outside, something about planting a banana tree that grows massive. This took place outside my old home? (rg) I'm at a restaurant paying for a massively long bill? Amount due was over 300 in total, but it was for many people. (rg) In some place like the USA and something happened in this town I was in? Suddenly, loads of people were throwing their guns and grenades away because they were going off randomly on their own. Something about a stubborn woman. I tell her I'm not a super environmentalist but explain to her that some gum she chews and spits out onto the grass has antimonic acid. I explain to her that it's toxic to plant life and even to her. It's just that her body is so much bigger it ends up not mattering so much, by comparison. (rg) Some other part where I'm a "superhero" and some local guy and his partner are being dicks. Also they seem to have something against me, so I stop trying to be so nice at some point and resort to hitting one of them but then we go out into an open garden/yard/cloister thing inside a hospital and I call out to some sidekicks that will help me. Vague recall of us ganging up on them. ~8:30 Not actually sleeping. White albino Gecko visual, red eyes. ~9 or 10 Fragment: In a dream there was this NATO thing me and H were visiting. A little bootcamp of some sort? There was an attached mini-mart place of sorts. We were going to watch some demonstration at this camp but we had to buy some CD for the specific day of the week since we hadn't done it beforehand. They were priced in pence for some reason. We wanted either a Tuesday or Wednesday CD and they were seven and ten pence, respectively. These were at a corner of the mart. Someone at the camp explained to us that they could use a CD of the same day in the moment but they'd have to call Cambridge to make it work for whatever reason and the weather would have to be good too, otherwise it was apparently a waste of everyone's time. In any case, we had a trolley and we got some 3L drinks like cola and there were massive versions of everything. Sliced bread loaves about two yards long, 1kg/2lb tins of beans. For some reason our trolley had loads of loose red kidney beans but we were apparently fine with this. I think H explained away my curiosity about all these oddities by telling me that the massive sizes of all these items were probably due to the fact they were aimed at soldiers. Later in a room somewhere, H's dad's cat appears at a doorway. Initially I am incredulous but as I get a close look at his ear, it seemed like it really was him, forgetting to do a RC at the bizarre situation. The cat behaved and meowed the same way as it should if it was the right cat. I told H to look but by the time he did, the cat got on his shoulders and his fur was a fiery orange, so H didn't believe me about it being his dad's cat. Then the fur changed back to black when H looked away and then the cat went away out another door on the left, H not looking again before the cat was gone. Notes: - At the time of this dream I hadn't really (at least consciously) heard of antimonic acid in any sense, so I read up about it online after this dream. - Wanted to make other notes but feeling to sleepy and forgot what I wanted to make notes about.
30th August 2020 7:20 Dream: Last part mostly. Not too interested in full recall. Was walking around somewhere with someone, an old schoolmate, maybe C? We're talking about buildings for some reason and then there's no transition but we're in "China" and I see Chinese soldiers in what looks to be a kind of ceremonial uniform. Covid times in the dream. But nobody is wearing a mask, not even myself or who I'm with. We're at some exhibit building and it involves going down a long set of stairs underground. People don't seem to be respecting distancing rules and through all of this I'm getting casual contact with random people and I'm touching my face, for some reason. I become concerned, but feel that because there's nothing I can do now, I just carry on. Eventually we leave back up the stairs. Even the soldier and the attendants don't care about distancing and contact, this bothers me on a very basic level. My dad then appears at some point and complains about it all. Some transition and then Deus Ex themes and fighting Paul Denton, but I'm still myself? Before all of this, I remember roaming cobble pavements late at night? I make note of the fact that it's the past, I just have this knowledge in the dream somehow, something like the 60s? Don't know exactly but some cars have unusual UV headlights or something, because everything that's got white on it lights up bright because of the UV headlights when cars go past sometimes. I distinctly remember old-styled cars and lorries. There's a dog walker at some point while I'm walking along the pavements; we try to avoid each other and I'm on the grass. Notes: - There was a very loose and casual link, I think, between the Chinese soldiers and Deus Ex, since there are several levels in the game that take place in China. It was also a game that I played back when I knew C. - Dad's appearance seems to just be a reflection of some of my own thoughts but besides that his behaviour was mostly as I might expect it to be. - The covid themes in this dream I think were mostly part of a subconscious digestion of my own processing of certain situations in waking life.
More catching up. 29th August 2020 ~9:00 Dream: Playing TF2 as Demo, don't remember for which team. Had the pipe bomb launcher, an RPG-7 too, but looked like the HL1 launcher... Later on in the dream, after a very slim win of the match, by kills score alone (would have been a draw otherwise), I am walking around with old classmates. Unusually, I feel tired in the dream. Then I think about covid, and how we aren't wearing any masks or anything. I remember a concrete building I'm in? Lots of staircases maybe. But well lit, overall, high ceilings too. The place outside looks like L. I walked out of some lobby place? I start to feel uncomfortable being so close to everyone else (because of covid), but nobody else seems to care. As we're going down some cobbled steps, I notice a uniforms shop. The stairs are very wide and go down quite a distance, but this seems typical of L. The logo reminds me of UPS, same colour scheme but not shape? I think to myself "I can buy a labcoat there, later", having some follow-up feelings about not wanting to have classmates around me for that. But unfortunately, despite my very clear dream sign thought, I didn't remember to do a RC, I think because I didn't see a visual cue of the DS advertised or on display at the shop. (relating to the feelings) I remember thinking that I didn't want to go in now since my classmates were around and I'd feel embarrassed. But I also think about how the shop looks closed anyway. Cloudy day? But not overcast? Then further down along the stairs or whatever, on the left, there's a pair of black and bearded/old vagabonds, one having a cane or long stick. I think I woke up after this while still going down the cobble steps of the stairway. I remember a (typical) long green railing in the middle, but I think this colour isn't used anymore actually. At the bottom of all the steps was a road cornering from the left to straight ahead, in terms relative to my own position. Squareish building on the bend across the road? Maybe quay or dock area further along. Visual recall is too poor after over a week since the dream now. ~9:12? Trying to fall asleep again as WBTB. Slideshow of 80s style VANS shoes advert? No visual recall of this anymore. ~10:40 Fragment: Return to the first dream theme, was with old classmates again. Sausage rolls and other such typical pastries. No visual recall that I can gather. Notes: - Although I didn't realise it, I suppose there's a semi-direct link between uniforms and TF2. I thought it was curious that TF2 showed up in dreaming, since I haven't played it for years, though I have had passing thoughts of it recently. - Covid didn't start featuring in my dreams at all until recently, but I'm not entirely sure why yet. - The thoughts about my artificial DS would have been enough to prompt a RC in waking life. - The appearance of one of the vagabonds (to my recall) makes me think of some vagabond in the Matrix? Or some other stereotype appearance. - Old classmates have been reappearing a fair bit lately, it had become an uncommon DS for a while but seems to be getting common again. Need to re-think about significance for waking life purposes.
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid I'm with some shady people in a dark room. There are some cigarettes I hold in my hand and a lady suddenly grabs one of them but I resist and try to take it back. The one she took has an iron cap at the end. As we struggle who should get the cigarette it breaks and all these glass like balls come out of it. One of the others in the room shout that it's diamonds and I start to quickly take as many as I can from the floor. The lady runs away because she has been exposed. The other people in the room doesn't pick the diamonds up, they are just happy that she got exposed. They don't seem shady any more. Notes: I don't even smoke cigarettes, it's weird that I would like to have them. I also have a memory of another creepy lade that liked me from the same dream. I watched a movie about a creepy lady that was in love with a boy yesterday. That is why I dreamt about that. I'm driving a car with dad next to me and two girls in the back seats about 11 years old. I'm driving by the road up to Wämö. They tell me that I don't drive that good and after they said that the steering wheel doesn't follow my directions anymore. I turn right but the car goes to the left and luckily there is a grass field before the opposite traffic starts so I have time to brake. There is a car that followed us up to the same spot we were. Notes: I'm practicing car driving with dad IRL. I'm not that confident over my driving as this dream proves. I'm by Det Röda Huset in Sturkö but it's surrounded by a big hedge except by the entrance. By the entrance there is a path that leads into the hedge. I walk in and come up to a forest inside the hedge, but it's a tight path that you can't walk from. There is a hindrance in front of me made out of sharp looking rose bushes. Half the dream I just dig and dig and dig in order clear the path. When I'm done dad and the two girls from the past dream joins me. We walk up the path and reach the end of the forest. When we come out we notice that we came back to the house. I think it was a weird forest that is hidden inside a hedge that leads nowhere. Suddenly I'm by the west side of the house and there are my church friends from Kristianstad. I remember Andre most. They are playing lol and we join them. There is a fight over the dragon and I manage to take it. After I take it we return to reality and me and my team (dad and the two girls) hurry to go to Det Röda Huset in order to eat the food so we can win(?). Notes: When we were gaming it was like my vision was the computer screen, I never saw any computers there. I don't know why we had to eat the food to win. It seems so random.
Updated 09-11-2020 at 10:00 AM by 97565
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid I'm in Sturkö with my William, David and the rest of their family. There is a baby and I don't like it. It's about one year old and I tell Therese about the baby. I walk into the living room and the baby strangles me with its telekinesis. I had another dream but I didn't have my tag book so I couldn't write it down and forgot it.
28th August 2020 DFLN Fragment 8:30 Woke up unusually early (not needing to, at least) and from some kind of FA. I was in bed with H and I turned and there was a mantis/grasshopper thing on his pillow. I woke him up and alerted him to it. Then I got up from bed as H was asking me to find his cheapo soldering iron to kill the bug with. It was skittering about and seemed smarter than an average bug. It was about the size of a ping-pong ball. The bug then eventually appeared on top of the bed again and H tried to make it go away (by blowing at it?) and when he did, the soldering iron then just appeared (the red and white one) and he grabbed it and started whacking at the bug with it like a weird whip. Semi-Lucid Fragment 9:30 In a strange (and even more) cluttered version of our home. I went downstairs to the kitchen, the tap was dripping (as it had been for a while) and I knocked my fist against it and a bunch of water splurted out. I was then doing something but H was here and had to go, his dad was here to pick him up. I walk with them down some blue carpeted stairs? Awful railing/banister, far too high. There's some sunlight at some point, that I appreciate. They leave and I come further down to close the front door, which is off its hinges. It's a big thick blue painted door made of actual wood, not exactly like our door actually is. Outside the doorway was a busy city street, like the capital of my native home. Then as I'm faffing around with door, trying to get it back on its hinges, M (from MB) shows up. She's on a bike and so is her new boyfriend, which looks to be a bit of a nasty one, superficially. She asks me how I'm doing and remarks I'm not looking so good. I notice that she's much thinner and she even mentions it herself. I congratulate her on her weight loss and give her a thumbs up as she cycles away, I think with a smile. Her mouth had been slavering like hell the whole time and her nose looked icky inside. Then I'm slightly outside, still struggling with the door. But I realise I'm naked and think of going back in so the people in the street don't start staring at me. But then I say to myself "Hang on a minute, I'm naked, in a public street, with loads of people... But I'm dreaming." I become semi-lucid at this point and became increasingly aware of my real body, not managing to stay in the dream properly, especially as I started to become aroused for no reason, my real body just became too evident and so I just woke up Notes: - In the second dream, M's better outer appearance felt like a genuine message of self-improvement on her part, but now that I'm thinking about it, her icky nose/mouth context sort of suggests a rotten inside in some sense. In addition to that, she was together with a (seemingly) bad person, again. - Oddly enough, I didn't remember the bit where she'd mentioned I wasn't looking so good but I don't remember feeling unwell in the dream. - In the first fragment, I think I was naked, but there was nothing unusual about it since I'd just gotten out of bed in the FA; the bug would have been a good cue for a RC in that fragment.
26th August 2020 DFLN Long dreams, poor recall because of noisy workers outside. Fragment: Remember being at my old best friends' house. His younger brother was there too, but was older? I think I talked to my friend about my art. I thought about showing him some drawings, I remembered he used to draw a bit, including by tracing. Notes: - Back when we were actually friends, I considered tracing to be a "cheat", a notion I have dropped in recent years.
23rd August 2020: DFLN 24th August 2020 DFLN Dream: About classic WoW. On my gnome rogue, using a 100% riding horse. I'm in Winterspring? I fight some lions (but they don't look wintery/snowy like the local tigers should). In-line note: The night before this dream I had watched for the first time the trailer for the remake of Lion King, which I had heard of but not seen much about. I'm Combat-specced, I think. There were other player characters nearby but I don't remember any interactions, mix of Horde and Alliance, I think. Then Hnk messages me as I'm going to the town, which is more realistic and I walk toward a little shop in one of the buildings. Hnk was upset about guild recruiting. Some girl lied about something specific in the application to join? But apparently this was normal. I remember we messaged each other for a while, whilst I was still outside but in the middle of the town. Then I'm in the shop. I remember eventually I stop making notice of the chat UI for a bit. The shop is like one of those little convenience stores where you buy newspapers, magazines and play lottos, etc. There's a lady who runs the shop, behind a counter. I just look around at first. Something changes as I'm talking to Hnk via messages. Now, all of a sudden, the shop is full of "dirty" magazines. They are pretty much the only thing for sale here now, mostly featuring naked women with artificially bigger breasts. Most of them seem to be around my age. I find it all to be more distasteful than I normally would somehow. Then the lady at the counter complains to herself about how people keep going into the private areas at the back. I sort of join in and comment that it's ridiculous, people should surely know not to go past the counter. The lady appreciates my understanding of her situation and then I approach and ask her about something. (What?) And then I remember that I was supposed to sort something out while I was here, but I forget what, so we both take guesses at what it could be, for a while. I remember closing my eyes and resting against the counter while I try to remember. Eventually I "recall" that I needed to sort out some kind of prepayment card. For Hnk? But mom asked me to do it? The lady shows me a plastic plate/card with some information and I try to take a photo of it with my phone, which feels unusually big and unwieldy. The dream ended shortly after, and there were other dreams but I couldn't recall them. Notes: - This dream features mixed parts of recent life (classic WoW) and parts of my late teens. - In the dream, I vaguely recall having thoughts that although I found the magazines distasteful, they were this lady's business, so I made sure to not comment anything out loud about it to myself. This may be a partially direct message aimed at some part of me, using some role reversal as metaphor in the dream. - The chat with Hnk was particularly long via whisper messages. I only wish I could have recalled more specific wordings or details. - This dream felt nostalgic in a sense; WoW dreams are generally nostalgic anyway for me but they also tend to be novel, featuring adventures unique to myself and often in alternate versions of game locations or completely new areas. But the shop was reminiscent of when I would go to such shops to play the lottery in my late teens and I often did notice there were these types of lewd magazines at those shops; as I got older I felt like it became more common but maybe this was just a shift of my own perspective. Because of this, in a way, the dream felt nostalgic of how things were before everything started to feel sexualised in some sense.
Been having motivational issues around dreaming because of how mornings (and days in general) have been lately, but really need to finish catching up my DJ. Will also try to give this some relevant title... 22nd August 2020 (DFLN thread) Dream: Something about being in a town and visiting a cultural centre thing with a group of people, like a field trip (from how I remember them at school). There were some little statuette things atop a doorway bit at the entrance of a museum area? The statuettes were the legacy of an Aztec culture that (in the dream) had existed in Europe until the 800s. I remember some people in the group were old classmates of mine. Many of them were simply messing around and some of them got some chairs to try and reach up to the statuettes to touch them. The statues had some visual resemblance to football players? Or to table football figurines. The statuettes were very blocky and maybe made of some kind of painted terracotta. I was completely uninterested in messing around like them and so went for a walk. I remember the inside of the museum looked dark, no lights were on inside since it was daytime. I think I went with one of the teachers around the area. There were gardens of some kind and it was sunny. There was a little artificial water feature, like a mini concrete pond. Then I had walked a really long way. Eventually I'm jogging or running? And then there's a guy along the pavement and I sort of prompt him to race with me. It's night time now but bright from moonlight (I vaguely recall a sunset transition as I walked); we're in a suburban type of area, reminds me of North American suburbs. I don't quite remember how, but eventually we're very high up, we climbed or ran up some thick steel cabling to get here. We're higher than some of the tallest buildings' rooftops in the area. This is some kind of construction site. Then a thunderstorm begins and this guy I raced with tells me about some villain he has to assassinate, like I'd earned his trust or something? I somehow have a focused zoom-view looking straight down from the girders we're on an I see what I can only describe as a convertible white limo. The villain steps out and he looks like King Pin. I use some kind of oversized (comically?) rocket launcher, featuring a red colour scheme. I shoot straight down at the limo, I don't remember exactly what happened but the dream went on for a while, but at this point recall had faded too much. Notes: - The area the museum was in was very much like the areas around my old home, but more so of the town next over from mine (Bran).
Piano or forte? In school, some classmate of me whose face I can't discern asks if, metaphorically, piano or forte would indicate something stronger, and I said forte. Something else It's blurry, but it might be at home. More than yesterday.
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid I'm downstairs and my cousins are there. Therese asks me if they can borrow a cheaper guitar that I am not afraid of to Oskar. I'm a little bit afraid that Oskar will destroy it but I say okey. I walk upstairs and hear someone play electric guitar. I look into the small room to the right when you walk from the TV-room upstairs to the stairs. Edvard has my guitar in an uncomfortable position due to the little space he has. There is also a drum kit there. There is another lady playing John Mayer music in the TV-room. My cousins come upstairs and are going to watch a movie. Suddenly I'm in my room with Signe. There are some other people there too. A girl I don't know and maybe Gabriel. Signe and I snuggle and sleep next to each other, it's really a blissful feeling. Later on she moves away but comes back only to put my head on her stomach as a resting place. Her stomach is comfortable. Both of us fall down the bed together. The other girl comes in and I ask her if she didn't watch the movie. She replied that she has a series that she's watching. I'm by a beach but there is like a big pedestal we stand on and my other cousins are there. Gustav, Klaus, William and Peter are the ones I remember most. Gustav throws me into the water on the left side of the pedestal and I can't move. the water is like quicksand. When I reach the bottom of the water I am able to swim up with effort. I am really mad at Gustav because I think he knew that the water was like that. I throw Gustav in and he quickly swims up to the surface. I tell him that he can't do that to me but he says that he had no bad intentions and that the water is perfectly fine. Suddenly we all are by the water and Hans is also there. He holds in my body and puts it under the water so that I can't breathe. It's some kind of game we are playing. I think that he will drag me up to the surface soon but I'm still worried that he might not. After some seconds he takes me back to the surface.
Updated 09-09-2020 at 09:23 AM by 97565
Morning of September 8, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,622-02. Reading time: 4 min 18 sec. I instinctually summon imaginary kinaesthesia to vivify and sustain my dreaming experience. It is crucial to comprehend that this process is not symbolic, interpretable, or influenced by waking life but is a deliberate attempt to become more immersed in my dream. (Summoning imaginary kinaesthesia means instinctually directing the vestibular system ambiguity resulting from the lack of viable discernment of my physical body and its orientation while in dream sleep to favor the inward illusory side of this ambiguity to increase the illusion of movement and momentum. I have indulged in this practice since I was a toddler.) I am also instinctually aware of Zsuzsanna sleeping close to me on my left. As a result, in my dream, she is sitting on my left in what first seems like a small open train but soon becomes a car on a roller coaster. There are no other roller coaster cars or people. (Meanwhile, Zsuzsanna is dreaming of being on a train, intimating we are in the same stage of dreaming, not necessarily transpersonal as it is a fundamental process.) My dream vivifies with realistic movement (correlating with my imaginary physicality) as we ride the roller coaster. I see its unusual structures ahead, but I remain unconcerned, and our ride is smooth. The landscape is similar to that along West Avenue North in La Crosse. I realize that the ride will take us to a resort that features a beach. This factor is an instinctual summoning of melatonin mediation. Water exemplifies the illusory essence and nuances of sleep. (Meanwhile, Zsuzsanna continues in the same dreaming stage. However, in her dream, she remains on the train. Rain starts to come in because of a leak in the roof.) At the unfamiliar resort, the beach is suddenly an indoor feature after the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity of this dreaming mode begins but favors the indoor factor. It is now more like a big indoor swimming pool. Our oldest son is now with us (even though he did not travel here with us), but he is only about ten years old. (There is no recall of our other four children at this point.) He cheerfully jumps into the water. Several other people are swimming while I sit with my legs hanging over the edge of the pool and sarcastically complain about there being no beach. At this point, because of sustained virtual melatonin mediation, I become aware our son is not resurfacing. I soon see him below the water’s surface and pull him up, and he seems to be unconscious (instinctual awareness I am sleeping). He recovers and complains about a man grabbing him underwater and doing something to his face. Zsuzsanna, our son, and I walk down a hall as I complain about the place and the man who may have hurt our son. A sleep-wake manager (also the manager of the resort) comes to us with another unknown male and states how he removed a small stick from our son’s nose and also intended to bring him up to the surface. Even so, I am annoyed that such a business would allow debris where people are swimming. In the next scene, Zsuzsanna, our son, and I are in a small room with windows encompassing three sides and benches attached to three walls. We watch an unrealistically large shark swimming around, though it does not bump the glass or pose a threat. The height of its head is higher than the windows when it is closest. (This scene was directly influenced by “Underwater” from 2020, though in the movie, it was people watching a giant fictitious oceanic creature through a window. Despite the influence, it correlates with precursory liminality that I informally call wall mediation, instinctual awareness of the concurrent division between imaginary dream space and potential waking space.) At a service counter, I become annoyed when the manager gives us complimentary bowls of ice cream. I knock them to the floor, as I do not want to spend any more time here, and end up leaving on my own with less of my waking-life identity. I climb up the roller coaster and attempt to ride a car back home (mistakenly perceived as Northside La Crosse, where I have not been in waking life since 1994). Even though my dream exponentially vivifies at this point, it also transitions to the emergence side of physicality and kinaesthesia. It now seems I am on a mechanic’s creeper (instead of a roller coaster car) and trying to move through a small wooden tunnel, feet first while on my back. (This type of dream state process occurs when precursory liminality becomes predominant in that I am then liminally aware of my physical body being immobile and beyond my control while sleeping. At this point, I am also instinctually aware of my sleeping position, which is mostly on my back.) I think about the unusual restrictions of the design and consider how men of a bigger size than me could not use the transportation at all. Even so, it seems likely that I will not be able to continue comfortably. I decide to teleport (with only vague myoclonus). I am suddenly in an unknown outdoor location in Northside La Crosse. Two people are present; an unfamiliar man and a woman (quantum model of Zsuzsanna). I tell the man that I teleported here. He seems puzzled and incredulous. I prove it to him by teleporting about six feet to the left of my present position with the sense of quickly blinking and becoming more aware of the dream state’s essence again. He cheerfully holds up his cell phone to film me in a conspiratorial manner, but I turn so that my face is out of range. I cause his cell phone to stop working. The screen cracks, and it displays what looks like an analogue television on an empty channel. I explain that whatever I say happens. I summon somatosensory dynamics (to augment my dream self’s sense of touch), but with big diamonds rather than eggs or coins. I open my hand to reveal an unrealistically large diamond that I give to the man. I tell him it is only worth about $30,000.00. Other diamonds appear in my hand. I give the woman one. In the last scene, she happily approaches me as I am leaving to remind me I had already given her a diamond on a previous day. She opens her hand to show me two large diamonds.
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