non-lucid

*It’s all dark (!!!). There is my mum and my dad and we all go to some party.

**I am by a sea with some other people. We are jumping different stiles to the water form a high pontoon made of sand. We always search for a good spot to jump from and we also have to wait for a good weather. I have some chicken bones and throw them to the water, but there is some girl swimming and she starts shouting at me. I tell her that at leas the fish can eat it. Every time when I jump to water, it creates some ornaments and creative splashes. Melissa is there too and we talk about sex and swimming naked.

***I am at my mouse in Czech with Pavel and some other people. We wait for a good weather so we can go jumping as well. Then suddenly a wind starts picking up and I watch as it blows stronger and stronger, picking leaves form the garden. Next, the wind turns towards the windows and I can see how the glass is bending inwards and I am worried it’s going to break.

**** Then we stand at some bar, with Pavel and this slim tall skin head “Novotny” or what his name is. Pavel is drunk as usual and they argue who is going to go jumping first. Then Pavel punch him over his head and the guy punches him back and a rectangular piece of skin peals off Pavel’s head and starts to bleed badly. We try to put it back but as the wind blows still, a lot of dirt gets in the wound. I try to clean it but it’s still dirty. Pavel is playing hard and doesn’t want to have anything done with it. His eyes glow blue. Then Dan and I decide to take the skin off totally so it can heals better.

*****I am in some kind of space ship. Its all dark again there. There is some college of mine shooting with a gun in to some tunnel. I look at him closely and it is Dolph Lungren. Some other college looks at what she shoots at. So he turns on the lights in the tunnel and there is a large plasma screen and Lungren himself on it. When he sees that he has been shooting at himself, he is all devastated and upset.

****We are at the airport and some lady wants to fly but there is some problem. She goes to the information desk where she is told that the flight has been cancelled. She starts to scream and complain that she is going to complain higher. She is told that the plane is going to be at platform 2 but it has to be transported there.

This is probably the most surreal dream I've had so far... It would have been a great dream to go lucid in, but I'm still hilariously inexperienced.

I was taking a shower in a rather dark room, one that wasn't the shower in my house. It was a very modern looking shower, with lots of brushed chrome, and it was very clean. There were two doorways on the same wall, one next to either side, in the middle were some guitar amps.

There were amps because there was some live Metallica music playing. I looked out from behind the shower curtain and there was Ozzy Osbourne and Kirk Hammet were playing some of the solos from Metallica songs. I know Ozzy Osbourne doesn't play the guitar, but that didn't seem important at the time. I got out and started walking around them, just observing them fingering the notes on an air guitar. I've never observed someone playing an instrument in a dream before, so it's pretty interesting to note that they were playing pretty accurately.

I got back in the shower for a little while longer, and I got out to watch them again. I was focusing on Ozzy for a bit when he motioned towards Kirk, indicating that I should watch him instead.

This is where the dream ends. Pretty surreal, but pretty cool too. First instance of someone playing an instrument in a dream that I can remember, and first famous people I've seen too.

FRAGMENT: Join bio like class late/Try finding a book to read, try finding Night Angel online/Guy teaches me dream recall (don't remember it, just have it written down)/pack of pens I bought yesterday but wrong type/remember walking to chick-fil-a and thinking I don't have change to get brownie

Dream:
For some reason Russ needs an extra shirt for a basketball game, Bart is there

Dream:
If you have a big dream schlong use it, Live in a tree, dead parent, some weird sex stuff, Stefon studying and asibling knocks over a TV almost hitting dog and Stefon's mom mad at him, here her sobbing down the hall

Dream:
Want to see "your Highness" at movie theater and called Stefon to come, bought tickets with debit card, remembered I have like no money in it, worry about being able to put money in in time before I get charged with overdraft

Dream:
Outside of movie theater with Stefon, Josh, and others, go inside to text dad that I'm about to come home, see girl from business class in theater, employee comes to see what I'm doing, go back outside and can't find guys. Some people playing with frisbee, I take it, find guys and try to throw frisbee across parking lot, only goes over one row, people laugh. Everyones shooting super rubberbands.
Don't remember rest, frag: a sandwich/deck at my house

Dream:
At school going to new classes and trying to find hot girls to sit by, talk to a guy from german I've never talked to before

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This dream is from the night before the night before last


Book-ended Children

Children running down a sloping sidewalk that curved back and forth. Stone wall along the sidewalk. Cobblestone ground. My consciousness looking down on them as they ran toward “me”. Saying to myself I remember this, I remember reading this. My mom was showing me another reel.

There was something forced about what the children were doing. they didn’t like it but they did relatively well at pretending. I think I knew more about why, that it had something to do with the parents, but I don’t recall now.

Mom put on another old reel. it seemed to be of my father’s side of the family. I knew he would like to see it and wondered at my mom having it instead of him.

In waking life my father idealizes tradition and is also an extraordinarily creative and brilliant man. I think he idealizes being a child, simple carefree yet responsible times. He was a “hippie” black sheep in his family when he was younger. That side of my family had a lot of power that was used for massive capitalistic gains and political influence. There is corruption, greed, addiction, and yet amazing intelligence and creativity smattered around the people. I am curious and feel it is important to know more about this family history. It also makes me feel sick to think of knowing more. My fascination and desire to know the different sides of my family (and myself) usually wins out, though. Well, at least in the internal battles of which I am aware.

I watched the reel on an old contraption that displayed more like a television than a projector. My mom stood to the side, close to the moving picture.

Soft thwacking noises like an old projector. I could almost see the frames as they shuffled past, specks and lines of light flashing and morphing with them.

A man (I think a/the/[my?] father), somber and proud like in older photographs, sat on the right, looking at the camera. The children to the left of him in their sitting positions, and then sat a huge man in a tuxedo complete with tailcoat. The two men were like bookends, the children between them. We’d only been watching it a minute, and mom already wanted to change reels. I said no, I want to see them when they move. I said their body language would be very significant, would show me more about who they actually are. It felt intensely important and I was riveted.

The large, hulking man stood and walked to the right. Maybe 8 or 9 feet tall, who knows, maybe 10. Big, round belly, sloped shoulders. (He reminds me of the way my maternal grandpa looked when he was dying of cancer, that same kind of oval shape, but much more extreme, and more solid and thick.) I didn’t think he was a family member of mine. The father (it was my impression I think, though perhaps it was a waking reflection) stood and slowly walked to the right. I watched his body carefully (from where the audience would be if there was one) and couldn’t tell much about him from the way he walked. It was so slow, as if he was favoring physical pain. His stiffness swallowed up his personality.

There were a lot of dream characters projecting their personae in this dream, like they were conforming to older, more serious social pressures. Personae that were hollow yet strong. Weak, deep, and shallow and full of tightly woven rules.

I feel an association between the father dream character and my paternal great grandfather, father of my father's father. I never knew him. It makes sense, given my grandfather’s and his brother’s dichotomies, success and greed for one, creativity and susceptibility in the other. Or so I've interpreted and oversimplified.

The trickle of this history of family emotions is a reason I think this song taps a large body of water inside me.



“I am out here studying stones
trying to learn to be less alive
using all of my will to keep very still
still even on the inside

I've cut all the pertinent wires
so my eyes won't make their connections
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
when I'm looking in your direction

...when all the forbidden fruit is fallen and rotted
well that's when I'm gonna come down"

Even if they’re partial hogwash, I feel love flowing from new understandings.

All fragments of the same dream...

Playing video games with my sister at my moms.
Someone broke into my jeep (I actually have a neon) and they tore the leather seats off and I was very pissed off cause it was only a block away from my house. I regretted leaving it there aloud.
Little kids were playing on the street and I talked to one of them, they were amusing me.
Some lady has this lair where she kept people she wanted to kill and I was in it but just touring, I guess. I hated it so much, it was very gruesome, people were stuck in these bath tubs and being held dow by these machine spider things while a saw hovered over them ready to chop them to pieces....

oh oh oh, there was a storm at one point but I think my mother distracted me from noticing this.
Annnnd, mom's been in my dreams a lot lately...

April 19, 2011

Notes
Went to bed at half past 11pm. Woke up at 6am. Horribly tired all day, barely able to keep eyes open. Don't remember dream, but when I looked in the journal I keep by my bed I found a couple messy notes scribbled down under today's date. I've copied the scribbled entry exactly here.

Entry 007
I own a fancy car.
I have a disciple.
I'm corrupting him. Teaching him to lie and steal.

Deleted

Went to bed at a reasonably normal time tonight, and wanted to attempt WILDing tonight, so I set my clock to go off after 6½ hours of sleep. Turns out that was a very bad idea, as it made me wake up at 3am, 4am, 5.30am (turned off the alarm here, couldnt be fucked anymore) and then 10am. Also have a rahrt large scar on my tongue that is making it really hard to relax. I do remember one dream though.

I was in some kind of ruined city, and there were zombies and zombified animals everywhere. But for some reason being bitten by them did not cause the infection or whatever to spread. I was also with someone, but I can't quite recall who it was. I THINK it was my mother, but I'm really not sure. We were running around in this post-apocalyptic city anyway, and I recall watching the city from some kind of tall tower. I watched as zombies as a group caught up to a group of normal people, and I saw a few zombie animals darting past street corners here and there. I don't recall meeting any actual zombiepeople though, only zombieanimals. At some point, we apparently managed to get to some sort of safe haven, and my mom wanted me to take the car to drive somewhere and buy something. I had enough presence of mind to realize that I couldn't drive, and told her so, but apparently I had to practise. That's all I remember from it.

Non-dream | Dream

Background:

As Dead Space 2 got out in January, I figured out it'd be really cool to give it a try. However, I was skeptical whether I had to play and finish the first opus, or I could play directly. Thus, I've been looking for Dead Space for one or two month(s).

The store described in my dream is owned by the same society IRL as the one in my dream.

Dream:

I spawn in a blurry room. It's very futuristic, with somehow a modern lightning. There are LOTS of rows, on which objects are stored: they're all disposed diagonally. There are a few people: I can see a salesman walking down the rows. I go to the video games department, looking for some old PS2 games, then I find myself on a storey, with some sales(wo)men. I'm asking them if they have Dead Space -- they tell me they do, it's worth 89,99€. They also say I could buy it for 2€ somewhere else, and that I'm lucky they still have the game in their stock. One saleswoman (she's mid/small-sized, she's in her 40s, and has short brune hair) goes away to search the game, but she doesn't come back.

It's probably not where the dream ends, but it's all I could remember. I was kinda tired (went to bed at 3AM). I somehow have the feeling I'm going to have a LD soon!

It started off by me being in my foster parents home. I had my apple laptop and I was playing a game called Sword of the New World. I was busy leveling Claire but i put her in a place where there were too many high level characters. So I took out my other account to help her. However the exp was very bad so I went to another place. It took me a lot of times because I always ended up somewhere I shouldn't be. Then I wanted to load my other characters and do a raid but i got distracted by C.(my regrettable past ) He started talking. Talking a lot even, and he showed me pictures of him in the past. All of which he looked really nice in and I was amazed he talked to me that much because in real life we barely speak anymore..

After a while we ate something and I cleaned the microwave roster and put it back in the microwave. When I closed the door it started running again. I wanted to press stop but suddenly there was no stop button. I could however open the door. When i thought it was okay I pushed it back in again and then it started running again. This time I couldn't open the door and I saw electric waves and then Mt, walked in. The microwave exploded in an odd way. There were no flames or that but there were things spitting out of the microwave. The door flew open and there were really odd white things and I was dead terrified. So Mt grabbed me and I just hugged him really tightly. It felt right, and I felt save. After that my foster mom came back in and just looked at the microwave. Mt sat on the chair and I sat on his lap. He was like yea I ordered something for you. He apparently ordered something for my mobile.

I was in this expremely white house with some friends. It seemed We were actually in some kind of game. We would walk through the house and kill these people/zombies with whatever weapons We could find. We normally could kill about 2 before We turned around, saw more and died. (I didn't feel myself dying as I have felt it before in another dream). And the 'level' just started again. This happened many more times and eventually We killed quite a few zombies and I was the last man standing. I turned around and saw a very good looking female, I would rather not say what happened next as it is quite embarrassing and way out of the boundaries that I would do.

I was at a rugby match in the seats near the front. A few guys from my school were playing the match, quite a few family members of mine were sitting around me. Near the end of the match my gran got up and started talking to my dad.
This next part may be a different dream. I was at home watching a DVD on my pc. A little boy was watching my computer from outside my door. I know my dad was also watching something in his room.
This 3rd part may be another dream as well.
I was walking around with my guitar amp and it seemed light and disfigured, my friend was also carrying his. I do not recall anything happening further.

I really wish that I had more time this morning to write down these dreams, I could remember them pretty well.

Dream 1:

I am in a room with around 5 friends or so that I can't remember, and as I am looking out a window on a fantastic view of a marketplace in rio de janero, I say, "you better stop this, otherwise I'll wake up!" then I start trying to focus light into a small object in my hand. In this entire dream, I am at the lowest level of lucidity possible.

Dream 2:

I am a member of either Task Force 141 or the Navy SEALs, and am mounting an assault on an oil rig. We win with minimal losses

Dream 3:

I am in my band directed, mr. W's bar mitzvah. In WL he is not Jewish, and is like old, so he couldn't have a bar mitzvah. few people are there, and it's kind of sad, since a bar mitzvah is supposed to be fun and be a party. I eat a lot of food. When I go back home at around 10:00 pm, I talk to my friend V, who is putting up her base clarinet, and she says she forgot about the party and will write a very long apologie the next day. I then go back to eat more food.

Dream 1:

I'm in some school building with my friend K from school, and we are making ruckus and running around on top of AC vents, and sometimes dropping things on people below. This goes on for some time with teachers chasing us.

Dream 2:

I am in some hotel suite with 2 blast doors that are see through. For some reason my Dad has gone crazy and we are trying to keep him out. The smaller blast door takes 10 seconds to close and the larger blast door takes 30 seconds. The doors block the entryway to 2 separate balconies, and the balconies aere accessible by ladder. My dad chases me around when I accidentally open one of the blast doors and then I escape by swinging away on a rope dangling from a window a story above me. I eventually make it inside safely.

Blue= Non-Lucid
Red= Lucid
Orange= TOTM
Green= Real life side note



So the dream started out at my buddy gavin's house. I was in his house and i went in his basement. But his basement was way different than his usual one. His house layout was also weird. So i went in his basement where he had a nice TV and then I realized i should get out of his house since he wasn't home. So i went upstairs and saw 2 ipod nanos on the the floor. I had to find out which one was mine. So i looked at the first one and the music wasnt the type i had so i looked at the background and it wasn't mine. So i picked up the second and it was mine. So then i had now somehow got to this rich neighborhood and i was up on this hill. There was a really weird house that i was looking at. It had like really skinny supports and then had an upper floor. So somehow it made me depressed. Then to cheer myself up i started telling myself a fake story about me with a British accent. So this cheered me up enough to drive in a car similar to the one in gmod down to the house and i got in one of the supports and it was an elevator that took me up to the upper floor and i thought that was really cool and it cheered me up more. So then i went down the elevator and drove up back to my hill. Then i heard my friend cole getting out of his car. (Side note: Cole in RL lives in a nice house so that's why he lived here) So i heard his mom saying he had to do his HW. Then he went on a longboard down the street and i went after him laying down on my board thing. ( Oh b4 this I had tried to find a longboard and i found a weird one and took one of his ) So i held the two longboards and layed down on my back and i heard him saying,"I wish i kned how fast i was going". Then i followed him and the got off and went into this little place that had some trees. So i went up to him and was like, "I found your longboard". He was like, "Oh that needs to go back but you can use that other weird one". Then after that i looked around at some weird bikes that had double suspension. Then the dream faded.