All DJ Entries

I am with Dad at his house. I think it looks mostly the same, but the view out of the front window is different. Instead, there is a view of a slight desert ravine or at least some fairly steep desert hills. There is nothing but sand, rock, and sagebrush until a very tiny patch of what looks like buildings on the very far horizon. In a corner of the house opposite the window there is some machine, no bigger than a small couch, that apparently launches missiles/bombs. I think there is an atom bomb, a hydrogen bomb, and a magnet bomb? The last is the smallest, but still a very serious bomb. One of the larger bombs, still a long, thin cylindrical shape that fits on the device, is loaded and ready to be sent to Russia. I think this must have been Dad’s idea, and it is all very nonchalant. It has been launched out through the open front window now, and I am waiting. After a while, I see dark clouds forming on the horizon. They aren’t really black, but look more like storm clouds. After these clouds form, I see dense, white smoke. It is coming this way, slowly, from my vantage point. The sunlight seems to dim here now, and I look again at the approaching white smoke. The mass is travelling up the hills, and I know it won’t stop for us. The ravine’s length is quickly becoming consumed; it is moving a bit faster than I thought possible at this distance. I fear it might break the window, so I turn away and move towards the kitchen. In an instant, the light is drained, looking like there is an eclipse or total, dark cloud cover. It is only the smoke though, as I hear it pass over the house with an airy impact, like a plane passing through clouds. I see it cover the far windows and pass seemingly slower than it came. I wonder what Russia looks right now, what city had the most impact, what history has been completely erased or rewritten. I then wonder who will retaliate and send a bomb to the US, thinking it inevitable. I think about dying like that, and it is not something I want. It all feels too real.

I am at 10 Torr for a celebration for one of the cousin’s graduation. This place looks similar, but not exactly the same. It seems to be a little smaller and a bit more homey. It’s still a square room but has more of a kitchen vibe due to the counter and the décor. It also seems to be wrapping up; Aly is behind the counter, putting things away. It seems like nobody is left at this point. I was going to try one more drink, but I’ll be fine without it. Mom is sitting with me at the counter. It looks like it’s going to be closed now, but then a 20-something year old guy shows up behind the bar. It seems they’re now open or regular business. Two girls, maybe in their late 20s or early 30s, are already taking a seat at the bar. The guy looks to them, looking a little disheveled. The girl closer to me starts ordering something with orange/grapefruit juice, but the girl by her completely cuts her off, ordering something with the same juice but a little more specific. The guy doesn’t seem to care; he lets her finish and then turns to the first girl to let her finish. The first girl waits a moment and then makes a snide comment to the other. The guy is now looking to us. I notice two small, empty glasses on the counter in front of us, and it worries me for a moment, making me think for some reason that Mom might have a drink. I ask for ‘just a coffee liqueur and vodka’, oddly self conscious of my voice. Mom orders something kind of specific that I’ve never heard of; it sounds like some kind of mock tail. The drinks come out quickly, and it looks like they’re in small white bowls and not glasses. Mom’s looks like a strawberry ice cream or really frothy strawberry milk topped with whipped cream and a slice of banana. Mine looks like it has cream in it and then it tastes like it does too. When the guy comes back over I assertively but kindly tell him what it was supposed to be, and he fixes it. I now try Mom’, and it does seem nonalcoholic. Her face looks a little sad to me. Melissa has been waiting in a car outside, and I’ve been texting her. She’s being kind of sassy. I’m not sure why she’s just been waiting out there. I look outside and briefly see her and it looks like she’s changed into a pajama shirt.



(fragment) I am outside and climbing/ scrambling around on some granite boulders all together and overlapping one another. I hear Kat? narrating like Jon (or Luke Larson?) is climbing, though it’s definitely just me here. She is sort of talking it up and pointing out the danger of the boulders being right behind you. I am in street shoes and sort of pulling on some holds and playing with different moves. The grainy holds are pretty decent and slightly chalked. I don’t think it’s even completely vertical, and I don’t think it’s all that hard. I think the boulder behind you is close enough that you could put out a leg or arm and stop yourself before you would fall into it. This small boulder field slowly turns into the top of a backyard. I’m standing on top of the smaller boulders with Kat, looking toward the house. There is a small, neat lawn and a few neat trees nearer the house. The house also gives the impression of being neat.



(fragment) I am at work with Laynie and a small group has done a grab and run out of the door 18 emergency exit. We catch up with them in the stairwell. It’s about 3-4 teens or preteens. One of the girls is reminiscent of the blond 13 year old girl that was taking pictures of herself doing gang signs. She sort of talks back, but ultimately we are in control. We are being hard on them but they seem to not get it. I think we have them out in the parking lot.



(fragment) I’m with Scott and Tyson? downtown when they see something going on through a hotel room. We are going to go in to see what’s going on. These hotel rooms seem to be in an overpass that we are walking under. I don’t like not being able to see and not really know what’s going on. I think it has to do with a shooting or someone with a gun.

I am with Melisa in Switzerland. Apparently, Alex has come here for a week or two and we decided to buy plane tickets and go as well. It seems like it hardly took any time to get here. I realize that I haven’t brought a change of clothes (or anything else, seemingly). This is slightly discomforting since I don’t know how long we’re going to be here. I’m under the impression that we aren’t staying that long (maybe a day or so?) but probably long enough to need a change of clothes. I think we are on a bus. The scenery sort of looks like Ireland. I think I do feel pretty far from home. There is a guy here what is speaking with a pretty heavy German? accent; everyone else is speaking English without an accent.

I tried very hard. It was pretty much Ada. Perhaps maybe 10 min longest of non awareness or mindfulness.

No lds though. A bit disappointing and dissuading. But it was very interesting to be able to observe every thought. I did not do it as hard today but I still practiced it for most of the day. It helped to change or redirect a certain negative thought pattern for sure. Astounding progress in certain ways really if you don't consider it only as a ld practice.

I tried injecting thoughts regarding dream each time my thoughts wandered to help question reality while dreaming.

I did do mild with sw and got some excitement but maybe not 100% feeling. Nor did I visualize it much. I thought I did well but I could probably improve a lot more.

Dreams :

Had 3 long ones, 2 notes were gibberish though. I should just take 1 second longer to make 2 words legible then id remember it all.

I was on the upper most floor of the jap school. My teacher was doing a presentation I recall she was not one that I liked. Me and a friend decide to play hooky. I wanted to go to bathroom so we leave. We head down the stairs to the right and pass classrooms of kids from lower grades.

We head to the right on the ground floor and we pass through the kindergarten area. I ask them how to get to bathroom. Etc

We go further and into hell or something similar. Hot lava place. Pretty nice temp. We gotta get some thing to help us through demons down here. Although most are chill some are not. We end up getting a familiar or something like a fire elemental.

Long arse journey. We go through many series of puzzles and rooms, fighting some drunk demons by bars and gain new abilities and what not as we progress to get to...

The bathroom. It was pretty dirty there.

Peed in dream but I was safe. Decided to wake up to check.

Perhaps a little lucid in the end after all.

Someone says the tide is too high at Ahipara. I'm thinking if it's not covering the road it's not that high. I want to go and have a look.

I'm on the beach, running away from the waves, trying to reach safety. As the water reaches me I lift my feet so I'm in a sitting position and ride the wave until I can run again. I do this repeatedly with each surge of waves until I reach a hill I can scramble up.

I'm safe and watching the waves down below with my dad. He says there's been a murder. I look around and he points and says there are thirty Dragon Gang members. I see them in the distance, emerging from a bush area near the beach.


I'm in a room with a girl, a guy friend, and a Dragon Gang member. Other Dragon Gang members enter the room and drag my guy friend away to murder him.

Now there's just me, the girl and the original Dragon Gang member in the room. He makes me pull strange faces and find dimples on the side of each eye and along my jaw. I have the ones by my eyes but can't find them along my jaw line. He tires of waiting and says I have lots along my jaw. I'm scared. He says he has a sore foot and I say I have a sore foot too.

He wants to take me for a ride with another gang member. We go outside and I sense he's going to drive me somewhere to murder me. I run for it and get into my old white van. The two Dragon Gang members get into a black sports car.

I am far ahead but worried they will catch up because they have a sports car. Suddenly, instead of being behind me, I see them coming toward me on the other side of the road. I know they'll turn around and chase me. I am desperate now. I decide to drive off a high bridge, through a wooden railing and into deep, murky water.

I'm standing on some grass, trying to pull up my underwear. Antoinette drives past and laughs at me because I'm too fat. She is upset with me for not meeting weekly anymore. She tells me she canceled my meeting with someone else and laughs as she drives away.

I walk for a long way and come across a boy looking off into the distance, towards my left. He looks peaceful and happy. I look where he's looking expecting a beautiful view but there is only an empty dirt road stretching into the distance, grass, and a tree here and there.

I look up into some tree tops and see an arm reaching from one tree to another. It's reaching toward an alligator. The arm belongs to a giant ape-like creature. No wonder it's not afraid of the alligator.

Suddenly the creature starts to sit down on me, crushing me. Then it stands up a bit and I see a coconut falling from its body.

Next scene, I'm in a bathroom washing off excrement from the ape-like creature.

I don't remember very well the dreams i had last night but i have some fragments.

In one dream my uncle comes from picking up his son from school, saying he succeeded. Interpretation: the school is like 15 minutes away walking, and i went there one time but i have kinda forgotten exactly how the path is (although if i go there i'll probably know where to go). My uncle has been away for like 5 days and his son missed 2 days of school. I could have taken him but i didn't know he still had school. The sencence where my uncle says he succeeded i think that it's connected with me, realizing i could have succeeded in taking him/picking him up from school myself. Lol.

In the other dream i was in a house. It was like a party, but also the people lived there. I came in with Brit Marling, we came at night, with a few more friends too (some friends from school). We inhabited this place before, but we came back after months apparently. Still the place was big and it has always been occupied, so it was taken care of. Our things and places were respected and when we went to our part of the house/mansion/castle (it was something very big, but kinda deteriorated, like abandoned. But also since we lived there it was clean and liveable.) As we entered the rooms there was like a creepy feeling. I think i went to the bathroom after that. It was a colective bathroom. The lights weren't that bright, they were like orange and there was sufficient light to see where around but not to illuminate everything with clarity. And again there was this creepy feeling like something bad is going to happen. Interpretation: Last week i've watched the OA. I was very impressed by it. Yesterday i searched for more Brit Marling's content and i watched the East film. I interpret the house and the people as the house of the film. Then about the creepy feeling, it's like a dream sign i have. Even though it's scary, it's been recurrent in many dreams i've been having. I think it means i have to face something. Maybe i should be more inquisitive when i face these situations. Use logic, use intelligence, ask questions, investigate or if not know why not.

2019, 06-25

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

School Daze

I am in school. I am in a classroom, though I’m not sure what class is going to be here. I sit down at a desk about halfway to the back of the room. I look around at the other desks and students. I see a rack of comic books on one side of the room. My attention is caught by a Ranma graphic novel and a Ranma comic. The graphic novel is a collection of many of the comics, the single comic is a new release. I hear Vegeta’s voice in my head telling me to buy them both. I go over to the comic rack and take the graphic novel. Somehow someone else managed to get to the comic before I could. So I go back to my desk with the graphic novel. Vegeta will have to be satisfied with that.

I put the graphic novel under my desk to keep from being distracted. I notice on the cover it looks like Ranma has punched someone into orbit. I think a comic book rack in a classroom is just asking for distractions. A boy in the desk in front of me looks a lot like Ryoga from the Ranma comics. He hands me a green marker. I ask what I’m supposed to do with that. He says take notes. I give the marker back and tell him I prefer pen. He hands the marker back to me again, so I return it again. He lies the marker on my desk. I don’t know why he wants me to have it so badly. I am looking at my black notebook when I wake up.

had 4-5 ld. Did not jot down much. I was more focused on recalling steps I took yesterday rather than the dream content. Maybe am a little jaded of recording dreams.

I focused mostly on questioning if I'm dreaming or telling self a dream throughout the day. Did mild, Shadow work. For shadow work I spoke to my subconscious candidly. I was 100% sure I would get lucid. Also tried to wbtb, set alarm but woke earlier than alarm so turned off alarm. Did raduga alarm not sure if that helped since I didn't use it last week. I'm getting better at this: kind of getting a feel for it.

It was mostly dild towards the end of dream. Dreams were long I think felt like a week worth of events. A day each. Did not mediate in the dreams so didn't have continuous lucidity.

Lds: mostly about game themed stuff. In the first one I was doing rc but they did not work, but I kept the idea in my head and worked near the end. Well maybe was lucid earlier but had a small doubt that made rc fail. Was also pretty realistic.

one had link from Zelda, I think I was link and there was Gandalf like figure helping me to progress through puzzles.

I dreamt about playing against the pro gamer. Became a more serious theme towards the end. He became evil and was trying to stop him mostly.

In the last one I cried at the end of dream. Crying woke me and stopped ld chains. It was something sad.

*maybe it's my belief that crying would stop ld chains that stopped it

Dream: had an unpleasant dream Mario party, also teleported. It was an amusement park needed to poo. Saw a relationship thing. Pretty violent content.

23 June 2019

I know I'm dreaming. I force my eyes open. I struggle to get my legs out of bed. They're heavy and feel paralyzed and I'm worried I might hurt Zoe (my dog who is sleeping on my bed with me).

I know I can do anything, so I force myself to the ceiling. I'm upside down on the ceiling on my hands and knees. I'm feeling good. I look sideways at the wall and start to feel disoriented and feel a small amount of panic.

The scene changes. I'm in a strange room with strangers. I ask one to tell me my name. She says manima (I think that's what she said... I remember telling myself to remember it).

I ask another woman what she wants to tell me but she doesn't answer.

Lucidity ends...

At some point I begin to see each person in the room is there because each has witnessed a murder by one of us and has had to commit another murder to cover it up. (To kill other witnesses.)

Each murder is played back in front of me. Like I'm watching it on tv.

Next there is a flood through my house. I call my boss to say I can't go to work.

I need to secure my birds in make shift cages. I need to block holes in the front porch area so rats can't come in. My mother is there helping me.

Now I'm running away from a man. He chases me over an obstacle course over land and sea. There are ships, and highways across the sea. Shipping containers "fly" from the highway to the ships flying in the sky. I can see where golf balls have landed in the sea from a nearby golf course. I can see a luxury cruise ship among the industrial ones.

I'm doing the same obstacle course over and over again, trying to outsmart the man chasing me. Doing things slightly different each time. Laying traps. But the man chasing me gets better too. He's always close behind me.

What?

A dream of Jamie's voice or, The Voice. Telling me she's upset at something I'm doing online IRL... Not sure how she would know that. I'm always cautious of the voice. Is it a familiar spirit repeating her thoughts to me and mixing it up with lies? Or does she really sense what I'm thinking or doing?Hard to say, but if you wanna call the shots in my life, you kinda gotta be in it you know.

crazy

I was on top of a building overlooking a scene. there was a hole with a building over it like in the show: LOST. Something exploded inside and I saw a bunch of metal getting pulled in. The building collapsed and got sucked up. Next random cars were getting magnetically pulled in. The town nearby was in a panic and I saw military pulling into the town. People were saying it was an excuse to bring in martial law.

Creepy guy

I was walking through a huge shopping building with my dog. I was heading outside when a blond man approached me. He said we had to take my dog somewhere safe or something and he was offering a ride. I said, "NO," He kept insisting. I kept refusing and he started getting angry. I mentioned to the people walking near us that this guy had an agenda or something. Two guys with him insisted that he was okay. I didn't buy it and kept ranting as I was walking away. He kept following but backed off when some women walking by came to my defence. Last part of the dream is driving away and seeing a bunch of tornadoes in the distance.

I have gotten a tattoo on the inside of my left bicep. It’s closest to the very inside of my arm and runs from the elbow to almost my armpit. It is about four square panels, each with the outline of a teenage mutant ninja turtle? They are simple and thin, yet realistic and very well done. The outlining squares’ lines are just a little thicker, giving it a pleasing contrast. While I am sitting with the artist, he begins to ink the first line in the area, and I panic slightly, under the impression that it was going elsewhere. I am then fine, deciding it looks the best where he is placing it. When it is finished, I think Mom is unrolling some saran wrap for me to put over it. I also show it to someone what likes TMNT. I also think about how I have it for life, this thought being pretty neutral.

2019, 06-24

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Fus You Again, Eldred Jonas! A Dream Goal Fulfilled!

I am in some tall grass looking at a small cabin. I go towards the cabin and I see a young woman in the door. She is sitting on the stoop. It’s Susan Delgado. I ask her if she and her friends are all ok. She says she is, but Roland and the others are going into danger. I tell her I need her help with something. I have a goal I have wanted to complete ever since I saw Eldred Jonas for the first time, but I need her help. I am now remembering that Eldred Jonas is watching Susan through the pink glass of the Wizard’s Rainbow, so I will use that to lead him where I want him to be. Susan says she will help me, but she won’t leave Sheemie here alone. I say that’s fine, but I don’t think we have much time. Susan, Sheemie, and I head to The Drop.

I tell Susan I’m going to stay out of sight and wait for our guest, but don’t worry… I won’t let anything happen. And Sheemie should stay out of sight, too. Susan hesitates for a bit then agrees. Sheemie and I get out of sight in a clump of tall grass and wait. It doesn’t take too long before Eldred Jonas and a couple of thugs arrive. Susan has been looking out over The Drop and she doesn’t realize he’s there until he puts a gun at her neck. I hear him talking to her and telling her to come with him, she shouldn’t be out there alone. I tell Sheemie to stay put then I step out into the open. I tell Jonas that Susan isn’t alone. He glares at me and takes a couple steps towards me, moving away from Susan. I motion Susan to get behind me, which she does. Sheemie joins her. Now Jonas and his two thugs are between me and the edge of The Drop. Jonas says I’m going to regret messing with the Big Coffin Hunters.

Jonas tells his thugs to take me out. I ask Jonas if he has already forgotten what I can do. He stops short and looks behind him towards The Drop. He motions his thugs to stay put and now seems like he wants to be reasonable. He uses his most amicable voice when he says there must be some agreement we can come to. I say no, there is only one thing I want to do now. Jonas draws his gun and shoots as fast as lightning. The bullet hits me right in the chest and leaves a red hole, I feel no pain. I tell him he went and put a hole in my favorite shirt! He gets a shocked look on his face. I fus him and his two thugs. FUS-RO-DAH! The fus sends all three of them flying right off of The Drop, plunging to the rocks far below. Susan says she can’t believe Jonas missed! I show her the hole and say he didn’t, but my body regenerates instantly. I show her the unmarked skin beneath the hole. I tell her everything should be safe for her and Sheemie now, but I will return if they need me.

Ominous night
I walk around my local area at night. A lot of the areas are way different from real life, though. It sort of resembles a dream from long ago where the same sort of jumbling happened.
As I walk, I feel excited, while also feeling like I shouldn't be doing this. I decided to continue on. I kept walking across roads, leading to densely populated areas, then to less densely populated areas, while also coming across some landmarks.
After a while, I come across a field behind a sort of village. There are hills around and I see a funnel cloud touching down in the distance. I think that I should simply walk away, but I remember my father saying (this didn't actually happen) that tornadoes can be avoided by walking to the side. I knew that I couldn't do that as I would be too slow. So I go into a house, then into a sort of basement, I think, hoping I was doing it right. But not entirely, just on the stairs. I expect tornado noises to happen all around me soon, but I wake up before it could happen.

---

I again used a mantra and it worked out unexpectedly well. I will use this every day now.

FNaF + school + Doctor Who + ...¹
²I remember being in my old primary school, about first or second grade. I am one of the children, seemingly coming from another class because I had to be assigned a new place to sit, a kid changing seats to the one next to him to let me sit there. I place down my bag at my new sitting place and listen to the female teacher.
It seems we will go to visit.. something having to do with the Five Nights at Freddy's animatronic 'Circus Baby', according to what she says. Can't exactly remember what she says, though.

The dream is skipping to our teacher going down to check on the animatronic, opening a chamber with a hissing noise as a sort of white smoke came out of it and it revealed the chamber to be a metallic, dark and blue tube with Circus Baby standing in the middle, the tube just large enough to fit her in. Upon looking into the chamber, the teacher started to scream as Circus Baby activated.

Scene change to a bar, restaurant or some sort of store standing in a forest, the teacher laying motionless in front of it. I know that she fell from a hole in the sky. I am suddenly inside the store and an unfriendly man, possibly some sort of elve or dwarf seems to have something to do with the death of the teacher. Then either I turn into the doctor or the doctor appears, in his eleventh regeneration. He suddenly begins a speech about that the man can't just "play with lives". I don't remember the rest of the conversation.

Now I am again somewhere having to do with a storm, but I don't remember anything except that.

---

¹: The school came from the fact that I am constantly stressed out about it, Doctor Who came from my excitement of it coming on One (A German TV channel) every Tuesday, FNaF came from me watching an entire series of Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted on YouTube and the storm came from me looking at stormchasing videos again.

²: I had chanted a mantra for a second before drifting off. Seemed to have helped with recall a lot, even when chanting it such a low amount. I will retry this next night.