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    1. 18-02-15 Blowing Up Boss With Huge Bomb

      by , 02-15-2018 at 05:36 PM
      All I remember was being in a building, and fighting a video game 'boss'. The whole setting was 100% realistic, not all all like a game, but I could retry the fight as often as I wanted. The boss was just a person, but taller and very strong. Conventional weapons didn't seem to hurt him very much. I had this bomb, it looked like a German stick grenade from the second World War, but it had multiple explosives. I say 'bomb' and not 'grenade' because this thing was utterly devastating. I think I put the grenade in his backpack (or somehow attached it to his back) while distracting him. Then I ran away very fast. The explosion pretty much vaporized the large, multi-storey building. I assumed this killed the boss. I tried that fight a few more times. At some point, the explosion happened underground. I ran outdoors, yelling to people to flee as fast as they could, as the blast radius was easily a kilometer. We were on the street when the bomb went off. The ground literally started cracking open, releasing hot gas from the explosion. Someone yelled at people to avoid the cracks.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. The Hot Sun

      by , 02-15-2018 at 08:15 AM
      Morning of February 15, 2018. Thursday.



      My dream starts in a house that I had never lived in. It seems to be what would have been the second house west of the King Street mansion, where I have not lived in over twenty years. My wife Zsuzsanna is with me. We had apparently been sleeping on the porch. However, two people are talking very loudly kitty-corner (diagonally) from the intersection on our street, and they are on West 10th Street. They are on their porch. It is three o'clock in the morning.

      I am annoyed, as I want to sleep longer (though I do not feel tired in my dream so its link to a biological need for more sleep is not a key factor here, especially as first-level dream state indicators or DSI1s, such as beds or other subliminal signs of being in the dream state occur in over twenty percent of my dreams as does vestibular system autosymbolism). Eventually, a police officer shows up in a police car on the other side of the street. He notices me at the porch windows and I point with my right finger in the direction of the annoying people (to my right, which means I have subliminal awareness that I am in the dream state, as I sleep on my left side, which is resultantly more closed off from the environment I sleep in). He goes over to tell them not to be doing this. (I assume that someone else had called the police.)

      A short time later, Zsuzsanna and I are in the Cubitis house without my dream self even noticing. It is still around three o’clock in the morning, yet I notice the sky has the appearance of approaching dawn. (I see this through the back and front windows, in that order. I am never outside at any point in this dream.) This concerns me. I know it probably means humanity does not have much longer. Still, Zsuzsanna has a cheerful attitude and it seems that it may actually be a lesser threat than I had thought, as it might be normal for this time of year. I am overheated when I wake but not with as ill of a feeling as I sometimes get when it is too warm.



      Two environmental factors had influence on this dream; the heat, and someone talking outside our window as I was sleeping. Still, the sun symbolizes emergent consciousness and dawn would be analogous to leaving the dream state. RAS does not take the form of a police officer very often, but it is a good indicator, as RAS could be seen as a biological “police officer”, with the purpose of preventing sleep from lasting too long, especially under perceived real environmental aspects as a survival mechanism.

      Because of this dream, I can more specifically validate the intersection symbolism as relevant to most dreams that feature this as a main focus. It is simply autosymbolism for the neural gating of RAS mediation, the subliminal choice to remain asleep or to wake. The evidence is obvious. The police officer as RAS, though not here inherent to the WAF in this case as he is on the opposite side of the street rather than being close to my dream self, is going to the house kitty corner from where Zsuzsanna and I are sleeping on the porch (which is autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness closer to the end of the sleep cycle). I point out (to RAS) the house diagonally from where I am (and this is actually a form of faux lucidity with actual liminal dream control being a lesser factor, faux lucidity being dream self behavior based on the virtuous circle of dream state knowledge without being lucid and liminal dream control more about creating and controlling the dream at its core without recall of what a dream is as in apex lucidity). Instead of dominating my dreams as RAS usually does in the final stage of the sleep-wake transition, he goes over to tell them to stop so that Zsuzsanna and I can sleep (dream) longer. However, even though RAS autosymbolism did not trigger the WAF (waking alert factor), I see evidence of the approaching day, "sooner and brighter than I want”, as the emergent consciousness factor, and in this heat, it is seen as a somewhat negative environmental aspect.


      Updated 05-06-2018 at 10:16 AM by 1390

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    3. Skywatching, with Atypical Distortions

      by , 02-15-2018 at 08:15 AM
      Morning of February 15, 2017. Wednesday.



      I am with Zsuzsanna in Cubitis. We are mostly watching the nighttime sky and standing near Highway Seventeen at first. The stars are beautiful. There are no other people around.

      At one point, there is a large sparse group of what I first take to be stars. It turns out that they are UFOs that move northeasterly across the sky (above the western horizon), almost like equidistant dust motes. As I watch, there is one larger object amidst the others that moves to the front of the group. It is white and glowing. It goes through two transformations; an overhead view of the Starship Enterprise (original design) and a white silhouette of a man (as big as the previous Enterprise image) with his arms out (perpendicular to his body). This feature moves erratically ahead of the group as if moving through an invisible maze, with a comedic sense. There is a typical factor of liminal dream control here, as I am very vaguely aware my expectations are influencing the UFOs somehow, but it is not enough to cause me to question my level of consciousness, even though it relates to my most common form of autosymbolism - vestibular system correlation that is additionally validated by the “body as vehicle” dream state association where the spaceship becomes the figure of a man. (Also, it is curious that I witness both the Enterprise and flying man from the top, which, from my viewpoint, would imply “they” are flying sideways, though this is a result of sleeping on my left side in the same orientation as the flying “man”.)

      My dream shifts and I am in my Cubitis bedroom. I still seem to be watching the entire sky, though there is a strange bilocated distortion (as if my view is from indoors and outdoors at the same time - a very common dream state ambiguity caused by the liminal awareness of my physical body being in bed). The stars appear somewhat dim even though there are dense clusters. Ambiguity, caused by a shift in the level of unconsciousness, seems to be that I am looking at cheap wallpaper with a sketchy outer space design on it (which is also a result of liminal space autosymbolism, a wall being the implied barrier between dream self identity and conscious self identity, thus this dream is a unique form of combined autosymbolism of liminal space awareness with vestibular system correlation). The wallpaper at least covers the west area of the room (where there were otherwise large windows) and at least part of the south area.


      Tags: sky, star trek, stars
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. The Hot Sun

      by , 02-15-2018 at 08:15 AM
      Morning of February 15, 2018. Thursday.



      My dream starts in a house that I had never lived in. It seems to be what would have been the second house west of the King Street mansion, where I have not lived in over twenty years. My wife Zsuzsanna is with me. We had apparently been sleeping on the porch. However, two people are talking very loudly kitty-corner (diagonally) from the intersection on our street, and they are on West 10th Street. They are on their porch. It is three o'clock in the morning.

      I am annoyed, as I want to sleep longer (though I do not feel tired in my dream so its link to a biological need for more sleep is not a key factor here, especially as first-level dream state indicators or DSI1s, such as beds or other subliminal signs of being in the dream state occur in over twenty percent of my dreams as does vestibular system autosymbolism). Eventually, a police officer shows up in a police car on the other side of the street. He notices me at the porch windows and I point with my right finger in the direction of the annoying people (to my right, which means I have subliminal awareness that I am in the dream state, as I sleep on my left side, which is resultantly more closed off from the environment I sleep in). He goes over to tell them not to be doing this. (I assume that someone else had called the police.)

      A short time later, Zsuzsanna and I are in the Cubitis house without my dream self even noticing. It is still around three o’clock in the morning, yet I notice the sky has the appearance of approaching dawn. (I see this through the back and front windows, in that order. I am never outside at any point in this dream.) This concerns me. I know it probably means humanity does not have much longer. Still, Zsuzsanna has a cheerful attitude and it seems that it may actually be a lesser threat than I had thought, as it might be normal for this time of year. I am overheated when I wake but not with as ill of a feeling as I sometimes get when it is too warm.

      Two environmental factors had influence on this dream; the heat, and someone talking outside our window as I was sleeping. Still, the sun is autosymbolic of emergent consciousness and dawn would be analogous to leaving the dream state. RAS does not take the form of a police officer very often, but it is a good indicator, as RAS could be seen as a biological “police officer”, with the purpose of preventing sleep from lasting too long, especially under perceived real environmental aspects as a survival mechanism.



      Because of this dream, I can more specifically validate the intersection symbolism as relevant to most dreams that feature this as a main focus. It is simply autosymbolism for the neural gating of RAS mediation, the subliminal choice to remain asleep or to wake. The evidence is obvious. The police officer as RAS, though not here inherent to the WAF in this case as he is on the opposite side of the street rather than being close to my dream self, is going to the house kitty corner from where Zsuzsanna and I are sleeping on the porch (which is autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness closer to the end of the sleep cycle). I point out (to RAS) the house diagonally from where I am (and this is actually a form of faux lucidity with actual liminal dream control being a lesser factor, faux lucidity being dream self behavior based on the virtuous circle of dream state knowledge without being lucid and liminal dream control more about creating and controlling the dream at its core without recall of what a dream is as in apex lucidity). Instead of dominating my dreams as RAS usually does in the final stage of the sleep-wake transition, he goes over to tell them to stop so that Zsuzsanna and I can sleep (dream) longer. However, even though RAS autosymbolism did not trigger the WAF (waking alert factor), I see evidence of the approaching day, "sooner and brighter than I want”, as the emergent consciousness factor, and in this heat, it is seen as a somewhat negative environmental aspect.


      Categories
      Uncategorized
    5. Spider Webs

      by , 02-15-2018 at 07:57 AM
      I’m walking out on my deck
      I start walking down the steps
      But my eyes wouldn’t open completely
      I see spider webs
      I walk through one
      Near the bottom I see whispy webs
      Then I had a moment where I was out of my timeline
      I thought about those floating webs that float through the air
      Those thoughts became a reality
      And they had landed on the steps and grass
      I say i was out of time because they were suddenly just there
      Then my eyes decided to close completely
      I didn’t want to see if there were spiders 🕷
      I ran across the grass towards the bottom of my garden
      But I thought perhaps I had gotten off track?
      I believed I was heading towards the Cherry tree
      I managed to open my eyes a little
      I see branches and twigs
      I can’t stop myself from going into the tree
      I feel nothing though
      I’m so close, that it shocks me awake

      I had this dream during an afternoon nap. I’m trying to work out what it could mean. I’m waking life I am petrified of spiders, even though I didn’t actually see one in my dream, just white floating webs landing on the stairs and grass.
    6. Day Two: Intensive Jounalling [BUST]

      by , 02-15-2018 at 03:14 AM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

      Woke up at: 6:30 AM


      I think the dreams I had last night were about as vivid as Day One, but I'm pretty sure I forgot about them as soon as I woke up. All I remember are bright white flashes.

      Updated 02-15-2018 at 03:18 AM by 93490

      Categories
      dream fragment , side notes
    7. Transformation

      by , 02-15-2018 at 12:39 AM
      1) A game was going on where we had to find something. There was a guy bothering me though. As soon as I got away I uncovered something and transformed into a character with a glittery yellow/bone white top hat/bunny ears, long staff and suit.

      2) I recall a point where I became lucid and was looking around a alley but it didn't last long.

      Updated 02-15-2018 at 12:43 AM by 67570

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    8. Something DILD

      by , 02-14-2018 at 11:12 PM (Inner World حلم Gamma Waves)
      I was at a school with other people, can not remember what I was there for. I then found myself in my apartment and open my front door. Something felt very strange but I could not put my mind on what it was. That's when I hear a loud bang behind me. It sounded like it came from my room but I am the only one who lives in my apartment. I run out from room and saw the light from the other room in my apartment turned on and then turned off.

      The strange thing is I don't have room lights for the room so there's no way it could have turned on. That's when I knew I was dreaming. Both of the door's slammed shut while I was outside at the living room. I look to my room and made an attempt to open the door but it would not open no matter how much I pulled on. I began to feel heavy and I began saying you are not going to do this to me.

      That's when I felt a sharp pain at my stomach as I try to turn on the living room lights as they kept turning on and off. I fell to the floor and woke up feeling confuse.
      Categories
      lucid , nightmare
    9. 2-13 to 2-14, lucid, telekinesis, flight, establish lucidity

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:27 PM
      Here are the dreams from the night of February 13 to 14. I had a lucid dream in the middle of it all and the rest were non lucid. Feb 13 was a really busy day, so I was probably more tired than usual throughout the night, which led to kind of deeper dreams in a way.


      CTrl+F"lucid" if you want to skip to that part.





      Round 1 of Dreams.

      These dreams were really interesting. I don't remember even one clear detail but it was like I was remembering a bunch of dreams within that dream that I hadn't actually had. I was so tired from the day that I couldn't remember a thing from these.



      Round 2 of Dreams.
      "Eating Quarters" / "Chocolate Hands" / "Flamethrower Police. "

      I think there were some earlier parts that I forgot. Where my memory of this dream starts, I was sitting around with some friends setting up for a meeting. I had my text book for the group and as I looked through it, a 20 dollar bill popped out. I was surprised to find it but the thought if it being a dream didn't occur to me. I asked the other group members whose it was. I was reassuring them that I am the treasurer of the group, and therefore, they could trust me with the money.

      Next thing I remember is sitting at a table with some people including my friend S J from high school, who spoke very quietly. (I am going to switch to present tense and see how that goes. ) S J is telling us all how he remembered his first round of dreams, and they were very interesting. "Remembering the first round of dreams" has significance to me because I often see those as some of the most unlikely to remember, but can be very interesting. S J is at the head of the table and maybe I am too, and someone along the left is asking S J to speak louder.

      Next scene I remember, I am in a room, feeling some apprehension. I have some art which I am attempting to hide. Built into my bed is a long rectangular box, as if a rectangular section is cut out of the bed, for the box to be put into, like it is a hiding place. At one point I am pouring some liquid into the bottom of this card board box. Then I am there with the Land Before Time Characters and we are cowering in fear behind some desks or dressers around the room. We are afraid there is someone or something coming to get us. A dog comes into the room but instead of being fearsome, it turns out to be very friendly and nurturing. We are no longer afraid.

      In the same room there is a scene where I and/or some other people are using spray deodorant. My Dad and Uncle M are talking about some kind of party.

      Next Scene. I am heading down the road past my high school, thinking of being on the way to some kind of club. (Note to self #1*. ) I am battling in my head with my Dad and Uncle about whether or not I should be going to this club, kind of like a partying bar kind of place. As I drive, I notice that some huge trees are laying accross the road in front of the school. One of the trees must be over 100 feet tall. Several workers are clearing all of the fallen trees as I drive through. Now, instead of driving, I am walking. I see some guys on blue skate board things with foot pedals so they can ride around on them while using saws or weed whackers to clear the debris.

      I walk further on and reach a chain link fence. My friends R A and T S are by the chain link fence on their hover board things, clearing debris. I tell them their job looks like fun. As I walk through, people are saying I am so weird.

      Now R A and T S are snapping a football to each other. I walk through the chain link fence.

      Now I am walking by the barber shop in my town and the place I had my first job. It is kind of dark. Some women I know, including M B and other women, come out of the place I had my first job at, and I turn around before they can see me. As I walk the other way, another woman I know from High School is walking along the sidewalk. She has black hair and looks very pretty. I start to talk to her and she morphs between M and S F. I am asking her what it is like to live up in that apartment above the barber shop, where N C lived in waking life. There is a big bay window poking out of the apartment which isn't there in waking life. We are also talking about how it is sad so many trees are being destroyed. As this woman and I talk, the other women come from the direction of that restaurant and now we are all talking.

      I have five hands, each with a different kind of chocolate in them. In each hand, the chocolate is un wrapped and melting. I am also eating quarters. They feel hard and metallic. M B asks to try some of the white chocolate in my left hand. She is also wondering why the chocolate is all unwrapped, and I feel embarassed. I try to explain that the chocolate comes out of my hands or something like that. Two quarters in one of my hands become four quarters. I am not really enjoying the sensation of eating the quarters but I continue eating them.

      An Asian guy walks by with a bunch of coins and dumps them in the back seat of a car that is parked there. I think he is eating coins too. A police officer comes by and puts him in the back of the car. The police officer pours gasoline on him. All of the women and I are feeling fear because of the police brutality. We can't see anything the Asian guy did to provoke this. The police officer blasts the Asian guy with a flame thrower, and most of the flame does not seem to damage him. But his right hand looks all blackened and charred and it looks very painful.

      Now the police officer has me on my back and is pouring gasoline out of a vaccuum kind of thing on my forehead and hair. I am feeling scared what it will feel like to be burned.

      The location changes and we are in a study room within a library. The women are looking from outside the room as the police officer and I are in the room. The tides have turned and now it is me who has the flame thrower and gasoline. I am not intending to hurt the police officer, but I want him to stay in that room, I guess until some other authorities come to take him to prison or something. My Dad and Uncle M from earlier in the dream come and look through the glass window at me. I start to worry that they think I am the bad guy here, and I try to explain how I am not the bad guy. I have taken the police officer's flame thrower because he was using it to burn people and I am only keeping it from him so he doesn't harm any one else. I am still afraid they think I am holding everyone hostage.

      There might have been more to these dreams but I don't remember. When I woke up from these dreams, I was in one of those streams of thought again. I noticed it sooner this time because I identified this phenomenon, and started to think what I had dreamed of. I had a good recall of these dreams.

      I think my dream recall is boosted by how I am doing waking life recall. Throughout the day I lay down and close my eyes and try to pretend I have just woken up from a dream and now I am in bed. So I try to recall what has just happened as if I had just been dreaming. I think this is already strengthening my ability to "reach" for dream details and use my memory.















      Round 3 of Dreams.
      "Establish Lucidity LD" / "Flying and telekinesis LD" / "Pain management technique. "

      (I will go back to past tense for writing the dreams for now since it comes more naturally. )

      The first thing I remember from this round of dreams was that I was looking at a box for a black massage table that could put the body at various angles. I have always wanted something like that for sleeping on my front, and I thought I had finally found it. There was a really comfortable part for my face. I was thinking I need to put that in my room for me to sleep on. (Note to self #2*. )

      In the next part I remember, there is a guy talking about some pain he is having. The "dream screen" is showing how he does mental exercises to help alleviate his pain. The mental exercises involve single consonant sounds, colors and memory exercises. The guy is also saying how drugs are good, and I am wondering how he can afford so many drugs and keep using them to self medicate without anyone finding out. (I don't use drugs myself and I don't recommend anyone use drugs, this was just a dream figure. )

      The next thing I remember, there was an Asian baby who the dream told me to follow. He was some sort of guide. So I am following this Asian baby through this blue maze or crawl space kind of thing which is above the main floor. As the Asian baby leads me along, he is picking up brown rice off the blue surfaces and eating it. We reach a point where it seems I am going to get stuck, as it gets very diagonal and narrow, but I trust the dream guide baby and follow along. Right as I think I am going to get stuck, the whole blue zone opens up. For some reason I wake myself up. (I don't think I was lucid, but I think I decided to wake up or something, not sure exactly what happened. )

      I laid still and thought through those parts, and fell back to sleep.

      In the next dream, I am in a kitchen, hiding some dirty cloths. I am wiping some messes up from the floor and the stove. It is not a house I have been in before in waking life, but maybe I have been there in a previous dream. In this dream, I think I was the only one home. There may have been some food in the fridge I was thinking about. There was more to this part but I only remembered it vaguely.

      Now here is where I become lucidly aware I am dreaming. I am cleaning in a bathroom. I have a plastic bag like a clear produce bag, full of other plastic bags, like what I bring to the grocery store to get produce. I am trying to put it in the top drawer by the sink. There is something else in the bag, too. The drawers keep opening on their own, and I am afraid if I leave the bag poking out like that, people will throw garbage into it. I feel a lot of anxiety about this and try to get the drawers to close, including trying to slide the content of the drawers to the back, but they keep opening up.

      I am not wearing any clothes in the bathroom. I hear my Mom come up the stairs to the room in front of the bathroom and I am afraid she will see my bottom. When i turn around, one door is open, but another is closed, so no one can see into the bathroom. That door seems to have appeared without having been there before.

      I am looking in a giant mirror that takes up a whole wall and I notice a dream sign. It seems like waking life, and I explain to myself how this is possible in waking life. Then, I think to myself, maybe I am dreaming. I almost don't want to be dreaming! I go to do a finger palm test, completely expecting for it to not go through and for me to be in the physical world. Then I see the finger poking through on the other side of my left palm. I am somewhat dissappointed it is a dream! I continue to enjoy the dream sign anyway. (Note to self #3*. )

      Eventually I lose interest in that and now I am lucidly aware it is a dream, there in the same bathroom. I can't think of anything to do. I try to come up with something cool to do since it seems like one of those L D's where there is nothing already going on within the dream. (Note to self #4*. )

      I think of going to outer space, but I don't feel confident that I would succeed at that right now. There is a window I could fly out of, but I don't want to fly right now. I pretty much think if I try anything like that, I will wake up due to instability.

      The thought "establish lucidity" comes into my mind. I do more finger palm tests, rub my hands a bit, and spin around with my eyes closed. While doing all this, I am kind of afraid that it will make me wake up, too. the dream continues though and I do some nose pinched breathing, with two breaths in and out fully. With my dream eyes closed, I see this very vivid, almost neon looking image of a stool. (I wonder if I could have used this to sort of create a new dream within that dream but I was afraid it would make me wake up so I opened my dream eyes again. ) With my dreams eyes open again, I see one of the walls is missing from the bath room. I see a bunch of people in the next room past the bathroom.

      I see a woman I know who is kind of like G D. I think she wants me to talk to her, but it is like I can't decide to really do anything. I see a glass window on the next door up ahead, and my first move is to fly straight into it. I think I will go through it, and maybe impress everyone, but I just collide with it, making a noise. As I do this, two girls and their mom or an older woman are leaving, heading down four to six flights of stairs. I decide next that I will race them down, so I dive headfirst down the stair well, flying down and controlling my flight. They are impressed when they meet me at the bottom of the stairs. I open the front door telekinetically and we all walk out. There is a fence ahead with a closed gate. I fly over it while opening it with telekinesis for the other dream figures. I also notice some white screws and bolts on the ground near the fence, which I try to lift to myself with telekinesis. I am able to successfully make one come to me but the other stay put. I don't feel in total control but I am going pretty well and I know it is a dream.

      I may have forgot the very end of that L D if there was anything else. I kind of think I didn't really get to do the coolest stuff in the world, but I had some fun. Any L D is good practice. Actually, remembering to try to "establish lucidity" was great progress, and I should focus on progress I did make rather than what I didn't do. My stabilization efforts resulted in a longer dream and if I would remember to do another round of that every few minutes, I might be able to go further in exploring an L D. Also, it is my second time trying to nose pinch breathe, and I like it. It feels good to breathe in a dream and it kind of reminds me of meditating, since I am focusing on my breathing. Also, I flew and did telekinesis! That is pretty cool for cryin' out loud.













      Round 4 of Dreams.
      "Baby Guide" / "Nice Hug" / "teeth exposed" / "dad is a car" / "Rock music contest. "

      My memory of these dreams started with me in a market place. There was more stuff before this but the first thing I remember is walking around some shelves in a market place looking at various types of oil. I am talking to a woman near by about the oil. There is a big bottle of coconut oil and another kid. We are sampling some of the oil. The shelf is about shoulder height.

      In another part, there are two dogs both out for a walk. They go near each other and play nicely. This is also a vague memory.

      Now the memories get a little clearer. I am at some guy's house, in his room. He has bunk beds. He has assigned me to watch something on a big television. The picture on the television looks very 3 dimensional. I also notice a bright computer screen to the left of it. I worry that the screen is too bright and I search for and put on my orange glasses. I don't really remember everything about this but it was like I was working for the guy or he was mentoring me.

      In the next scene, I am in a bigger room outside his room. He his rubbing peanut butter or some other type of food spread on a cat's bottom, which makes a mouse go bite the cat's bottom. Then, the cat bites the mouse. I am watching this, thinking it is very cruel, because the mouse might have otherwise not been in harms way. The guys wife is around the scenario. In the context of this dream, my friendship with this guy is very stagnant, but I am not willing to really put more energy into it. It is sort of something I am taking for granted. I dimly want to put some more enthusiasm into it, but I don't feel I can muster it. The guy invites me to sleep over his house, seemingly as a way to be better friends. I felt like I just couldn't handle moving forward in our friendship but I was just feeling stuck. He was standing to my right when he said this. (I remember feeling this way with a girl I was dating in college, just emotionally frozen. )

      Next there is a part with some ramps. My friends J D and J V and others are there. Maybe some young kids or some people that remind me of my Jamaican friend. A lot of this part is vague but in the dream I think it was eventful.

      My friend J V (female) is already with another guy but she has a baby she wants me to hold. She is saying that I should listen to the baby and it will be good for me. I carry the baby around and in one part of the dream it is feeding me pickles from a jar of pickles. I worry that the pickles contain too much sugar or salt and they don't fit my dietary restrictions.

      Later in this scene, I am with J V, the baby, and some other people, watching a movie of some kind of surgery on a projector. I am not sure if it was circumcision or something else gorey. I was feeling really squeamish and I just couldn't handle watching this. I admitted to them that it was too much for me and I couldn't finish watching it. I felt admitting this took a lot of courage and might have helped other people feel comfortable admitting that they, too, needed a break from watching all this violence. I left the group.

      Next there was something where I was taking a disability test. There was this container of blue vitamin liquid that an older man was giving me and one or two other people. I was walking through two shelves thinking I should have asked for the full dose since when he poured me mine, I could tell it was less than what he gave the other guys, and I pulled my cup away early for some reason.

      I was trying to put on two button down shirts at once. The bottom shirt was a short sleeve plaid one with various reds and blues that has a cool zipper on the shirt pocket. The shirt I was putting on top was a long sleeve button down shirt, but I forgot which one. I realized this might be too many shirts and decided to take them off instead, in order to put on a coat without being overheated on the bus. Then I was getting on a bus.

      In the next part of the dream, I was in a place like a mall, and there were women around. I was surprised to see a woman from high school, M E, (those are her initials), and it seemed there were two of her. When I looked from her to the other copy of her, I wondered who the first woman I had looked at was, but I think they were both M E. She looked pretty and I remembered she used to seem to like me. I hugged the copy of her that was closer to me, and it was a nice hug. I was sort of rubbing the sides of her arms or torso. We were happy to see each other. I realized I wasn't wearing my retainer and dental bridge which has my false teeth on it. (I have two missing teeth in the front of my mouth). As I talked to her, she seemed to be looking at my teeth. She asked me, "what, are those colored or something?" and I explained to her that i was missing those front two lateral incizors. I felt kind of embarassed and I tried to talk with my upper lip over my front teeth like I do when i am trying to hide my missing teeth. Suddenly her teeth morphed before my eyes and they had some gaps too. So then we were smiling at each other. I forgot what else happened but I guess I was happy not to be totally rejected, as I usually expect to be. (Commentary: This part of the dream brings up strong emotions since I think my missing teeth hold me back in a lot of ways in life, but I can't afford the surgery. So I don't think I can really date or even be very social due to my missing teeth. I guess the dream wanted me to see this, and although it was some comfort that perhaps I could be in a relationship with someone with dental problems, too, I would rather get my teeth fixed and then be in a relationship with someone with "normal" teeth too. )

      In the next part of this dream I am with my dad, mom and sister. There was something about eating a meal together. My Dad was tired and stressed because he was having difficulty providing for the family.

      There was this part with this yellow leaf thing that was supposed to wrap around something. It opened up on one side to go around the thing, whatever it was, and on the back was a flap made of leaf that I noticed was more yellow than the other side. I was trying to explain to my Dad how the leaf thing has to be wrapped around the other thing but he didn't seem to agree. He was telling me how his Dad was just a car to him. Even in the family photo, instead of showing a picture of his Dad, it showed a picture of a car. I wanted to say that this was not the correct paternal relationship but I was afraid to actually say that.

      Then I was walking at a local nature trail I go to often in waking life. I was carrying one of my house plants and lots of soil kept falling out. I didn't really understand how because the drainage hole wasn't that big in the planter. I was walking towards the gazebo. When I arrived at the chair I was going to put the planter on, I turned around to collect all the soil that had fallen out. I was worried that someone would take the plant while I was walking back through the trail collecting the fallen soil.

      At this point I think I woke up on my front and my head was twisted all the way to the side which I usually try to avoid. Then once I adjusted I fell asleep really soon after that. The weird thing was, I woke up positioned on my left side more, with my neck straighter, but I didn't see how I could have even been laying flat given how the pillows were situated. Maybe I dreamed about being in that sleeping position.

      In the next scene, a lucid, dreaming author, who I have been listening to a lot of pod casts by and just got 2 of his audio books, was writing for some kind of contest where he was talking about his future goals with lucid, dreaming. I was seeing the writing from the first person and I noticed the screen didn't have any blue light filter. It seemed he was struggling to think of anything or feeling discouraged. Some words appeared on the screen but I forgot what they were.

      This part of the dream kind of became a rock song contest. There were two rock singer voices collaborating in a song together which I thought was cool. it seemed like one contestant had asked the other contestant to be part of his song. There was this box with an exclamation mark on it in the corner, like a darker purple box and a yellower exclamation mark, but the whole room was dark, so it is hard to tell. There was something about drug addictions. The judge of the contest was talking about drug addictions. This part of the dream was more surreal and hard to describe. That was all I remembered.









      Round 5 of dreams.
      "Mom heading home" / "Blue ear plugs on Jungle Gym. "

      These dreams were about 2 hours of dozing, sleeping and dreaming. I woke up a little while I thought through some of them and then let myself fall back asleep and dream more.

      I think I fell back to sleep and lost some memories here.

      In the beginning, I was with my friends M R and N H and we were in a food court at the mall. I remember getting something like fries at McDonald's and some other food at another place. I was low on money. I might have toggled to being an employee there. There was someone saying it was unhealthy. This part is really vague.

      One part I remember very clearly felt clear as waking life. But it was very simple. I had the dining room chair positioned with some legs off the carpet and some legs on the carpet. I was doing body weight step ups from that range of motion but as I did them, I noticed that the chair was uneven. So I moved it but then one of my feet was stepping on the carpet while one was stepping off. I couldn't get it to line up right. It was somewhat light out, like it would be during early morning hours as the sun is rising, but on a cloudier morning. The front windows to the dining room had the curtains open. For some reason that very simple part of the dream had a very solid feel to it.

      Okay so then I was in some kind of a school yard. I was on a jungle gym and there was a blue ear plug on the ground. I had another blue ear plug in my hand. There was something about how people with blue ear plugs were weird or something. But I was like, these aren't even mine, I am just here at the same time as they are. Don't think I am weird.

      Then I was in a bathroom and still had the blue ear plugs. I had a tupperware of urine in the sink with the lid on it. It was my more cube shaped tupperware. I was trying to hide it under some soap water or a towel and I was taking a bath. Then two other people wanted to use the bath. I said I will go but just let me dry off and everything. (Note to self #5*. ) The bath became a bed behind me. I remember this one part where I sort of fell out of the bath and fell in slow motion towards the floor. I didn't know it was a dream. As I fell, I fixed my gaze on this orange straw with pink lines on it, like a D and D or seven eleven straw. I remember gazing at it, thinking it would appear in a dream due to the emotions I was feeling in that moment becoming attached to or associated with it. Little did I know I was already in a dream. But I do that more and more now, if I feel a strong emotion, I will notice an object I am looking at and sort of create an association between those feelings and that object. Then in a dream I might notice the object and it could be kind of a dream sign. Funny I was doing that when I was already in a dream.

      There was a little plastic bin of styluses on the floor. I was trying to put a pen cap on the stylus. I wanted to write, so I took one of the styluses and tried to write on the floor tiles of the bath room. I was writing accross four floor tiles, then beneath the first, on the next tile down, about how it is hard to have to make choices. I remember seeing that it was more etching it into the floor than putting ink on top of the existing floor. I was thinking I will never make it as a writer. In the box I was looking for pen caps to put on the styluses.

      In the next scene, I was walking up a road from the water's edge, and I had long hair. I was brushing it and kept getting the brush jammed at the very end. (note to self #6*. ) It turned out there was this weird metal pen cap stuck in my hair that seemed to appear there out of no where. But it was a pen cap similar to the ones in the previous scene. My hair was all clumped up in it and I started trying to pull it out, but it was ripping my hair. Eventually I got all my hair out but was afraid it would be moldy from being in there. It turned out it was fine. It was silver with a blue end. I think I just tossed it on the ground and kept walking.

      Then I was walking down the road more and saw my Mom's old white car in a semi circle drive way of a single story white house. It was my Uncle R's house because of the smoking. Another older white car appeared behind hers, with orange or red tinted windows, and then I actually saw her come outside to leave. It was good timing because in the context of the dream, she was just about to drive all the way up state to go home.

      In waking life my Mom doesn't smoke cigarettes but in the dream she had a cigarette in her left hand. It looked like it had been partially smoked, and had ash on one end, but it wasn't actually burning at the moment, like she had put it out and was saving it for later. She was packing the car. She said "thank G O D for this cigarette." I hate cigarettes and I figured she picked up some cigarettes while staying at my Uncles. But I told her that the cigarette was not a think to "thank G O D" for and tried to discourage her from smoking any more. She hadn't picked up the habit long ago and it would be easier to break it now than later. I felt angry just to see the cigarette but when I realized I couldn't smell it, I didn't totally flip out. My Mom was telling me she was so numb and I knew it was from being active in that cigarette addiction again.

      Then the car transformed into a pick up truck with some mean guys driving it and it nearly ran me over. It was like a red truck and it almost didn't have a wind shield, the way the view of the guys looked through it.

      I woke up and tried to think all of that through. It took a few minutes to even come up with a single detail, but from there, a whole bunch of the dream flowed back into my mind.

      That's all my dreams. Man, it takes a long time to write all this some days, but I would rather remember too much than remember less. I wonder if I will ever have so much dream recall that it will take 8 hours a day to write.
    10. February 14, 2018 Non-Lucid

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:04 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      The dream scene was in an amusement park, I don't believe it was any one I've ever been to IRL but it looks noticeable when I think back to all the dreams I've had about these places. I'm with my childhood friend Nate. It's early in the morning and we're trying to decide which ride to go on. I suggest to him that we go on the ride that usually has the longest line but probably does not because it's so early.

      We go over to the area where the ride is and look up to see the line is empty. The ride entrance is sort of purple and looks a little bit like a weird castle like staircase of some sort. It looked sort of like a water slide too but it was meant to be a rollercoaster. So we get up to the top of the ride and a person up there is showing us what the ride actually is. We're watching a simulation and there's Nate on this flat cart that had four wheels and was made of wooden planks. People are lifting him up by each end and shaking him and carrying him across this dark room of a dungeon. After that he's thrown down this hill that goes up and down. He's hitting these jumps and spinning and flipping uncontrollably to the point where it isn't even possible IRL.

      We aren't even afraid to go but before we can say anything a cart appears from the left out of the wall and the person throws me on top. I fly down this slope and start hitting these hills too.

      This ride was very strange. The ride was not a full rollercoaster but was actually like I was riding around on this cart trying to complete different objectives all the while there is a zombie or scary person chasing me in between objectives and to get them off I had to hit them or push them away.

      The ride was called something like "Infernal Man" or "Internal Person" or "Naughtorical something." It wasn't any of these but it was something close to that. That name kept coming to me everywhere on this ride. So now I'm on this cart at the bottom going around to different areas. The ride had a pool at the bottom with a hottub and a lot of people swimming around and doing various things. It almost felt like I was back at rockbridge in a way.

      I'm going to different areas and completing different things. I go up to this hottub area where there's people in the hottub and one of them comes up to me and is like "You have to blow 5 lines of parmesan cheese on this pizza" and I'm thinking 'what the fuck' as I turn around and see there's this person chasing me behind me so I smack that person in the face or punch them and start flowing cheese on this massive slice of pizza into separate lines. I manage to make 6 or 7 distinct lines so I say "see can I go now?" and then I leave to another task.

      It's really hard to remember what the other tasks were but I must've completed 10-15 in this dream with no exaggeration. Eventually I get into this room where Nate had been lifted up. I see a guy to the right of me and I'm thinking "oh no not this place" with a lack of enthusiasm or care. There's usually supposed to be two big guys lifting up the cart but they only had the one guy and then a fill in girl who never did this sort of thing so when they picked me up the back was barely getting off the ground. Another person comes in and helps the back. The place is gray and dark, filled with dust, and had stoned covered walls and floors. There might've been some medieval furniture in there too. Someone starts reading to me how I had conquered the ride or something like that but I was not interested at all. I had been distracted by something.

      Another dream I had which might've been an extension of the other one was I was running with my family away in some sort of apocalypse. There were massive storm clouds ahead shooting lightning at the ground. I was really afraid we were going to get struck. We were running along this giant wooden boardwalks above land/sea towards somewhere. There's a bunch of people running towards a safehouse. It's a two story run down white house. There's two lines of people at the front door trying to get in. One line was not making any progress while the right line people were moving quickly. I jump into the front and into the house. I get in there and there's a room with a dirt floor and kitchen appliances next to a staircase that lead to the second floor. I turn around and try to see where my family is. There's a person there who had no hair and dark skin asking me how I got in and I told him I "used the express line." Finally, my family gets in there but it isn't even my family anymore it's just these four random people I've never met. The dream ends when the person says the reason he let us in is because "you are my spirits."
    11. Dream - You Scratch My Back, I Scratch Yours

      by , 02-14-2018 at 01:51 PM
      Date of Dream: WED 14 FEB - 2018



      Dream No. 282 - You Scratch My Back, I Scratch Yours

      I don't remember what happened at the start of the dream. From where I do remember, I was in a renovated version of Waverley Gardens shopping centre which was four or five stories high. After looking in some shops of my own, like Kmart, I went back into the mall. I was now looking for some fancier clothes shops and at the same time, calling for Dreamy WB. I wasn't sure where the clothes shops were but eventually, someone told me they were on the third floor. I was on the second floor and so I had to go up one set of escalators. I called for Dreamy WB a bit before stepping up onto the escalators but I couldn't perceive anything, so I proceeded to the third floor.

      When I got to the third floor, I continued calling for her, at a more repetitive frequency. A middle aged lady approached me and said that Dreamy WB was on the second floor and that I should meet her down there. I quietly thought to myself, “I was just down there a minute ago, I'm not going back”. That interpreted to me saying to the lady, “Dreamy WB can come up here, as a dream guide she is very capable of it”. For the remainder of that portion of the scene, I just wondered aimlessly around the escalators on the third floor while continuing to call for her. She wasn't there and so I wondered a bit farther to see some people that looked like her but I could tell it wasn't her because there wasn't that special energy around yet.

      I eventually ended up near another set of escalators and I saw Dreamy WB near them, casually strolling as if she had gotten off them some time ago. In this dream, she looked very small and cute and was literally only half my size. Her hair was in the style of a ladybug split at the top with a small frizzy pigtail peering out the back. She was wearing a black singlet top and black jean-like pants... Dreamy WB always seems to wear all-black these days. We hugged for a very long time and then because she was so small, we swapped roles and I picked her up and carried her around the shops while looking around at the various stock on offer.

      After a while the scene changed and it was past midnight, in the early hours of the morning at my current house. I was in my bedroom but I forgot what I was doing in there. My mum came in there and said that she was going to go soon to take CK back to Melton. She said I should come with her and so I agreed. We ended up leaving after having a piece of Valentine's Day cake. It ended up being that the whole family went even though the dream specified that it was something like 2:00 AM in the morning. Only a short scene played after that where my mum and I were driving around this random suburb; it must have been Melton.

      The next scene played and it was on the way back from Melton. On the way back, the family were in two cars except the arrangement was weird. My mum and dad were in my mum's car and me and my brother were taking my dad's car. In real life, none of us are good at driving our dad's car and this reflected in the dream too. My brother was nervous because he didn't know who was going drive but eventually, I decided to do so.

      What's weird is that I was in the front seat but on the left side, not the right side where the steering wheel was. I did nothing and the car automatically went straight. It was only when approaching traffic lights that we had to do something. While still glued to the left-side seat, I put my foot over the gearbox and stretched to apply it onto the brake. I had to apply the same method a couple of times as traffic lights turned red on us.

      I found the method of driving okay until I found out we were about to approach the freeway and that's when I started panicking. Although I was nervous, I did go onto the freeway but things started to go wrong on there. Before we got too far away, I managed to somehow do a u-turn on the freeway and got off at the exit we originally got on from. When we were back on the normal roads, I found some way to pull over and get out of the car and then come back in and into the correct position, being the actual driver's seat. While we were driving back towards the freeway, I did make a comment to my brother, something like “This is ridiculous, mum and dad are in a car together and we're all by ourselves with no one skilled enough to instruct me!”.

      As soon as we drove ahead of their car and out of their sight, a faded hologram of Dreamy WB is seen floating within the passenger's seat of our car, not sitting down but rather half her body is seen upright and hovering as she looked directly towards me and my driving habits. I saw that she was wearing her white, red and black Oktoberfest outfit with her asymmetrical but neat afro. In this scene she didn't speak but rather pointed and made various smiling facial expressions to give me instructions. I was now confident behind the wheel and continued to drive with no sense of doubt until I woke up.



      Dream Trophies Achieved:
      - Invincible Dreamer (Receive 25 hugs from Dreamy WB)

      >> 1. Tight hug at the swimming carnival (136 A)
      >> 2. Hugged me after the hissing kitten (164 A)
      >> 3. Hugged me when I found her at the hairdressers (167 A)
      >> 4. Hugged me when the water was rising (183)
      >> 5. Held me in a hugging position before the dental appointment (201 A)
      >> 6. Held me in a hugging position on the board (201 B)
      >> 7. Gave both my mum and I affection when we were distressed (206)
      >> 8. Just randomly gave me a hug out of the blue (208)
      >> 9. Gave me heaps of affection before promising to put me to bed (216 B)
      >> 10. Hugged me when practising a position for the lift (223)
      >> 11. Hugged me outside when on the two chairs (225)
      >> 12. Hugged me when I found her around the corner (227)
      >> 13. Hugged me in the bathroom in front of the basin (228)
      >> 14. Felt like I was being hugged when she carried me down the hill (231)
      >> 15. Was hugged when I saw her on the oval (235 A)
      >> 16. Hugged each other in bed in the lucid dream (239)
      >> 17. Felt like I was being hugged when she strapped me in for fast travel (240 A)
      >> 18. Hugged me while carrying me through the nature walk track (245)
      >> 19. Held me while transporting me back to the TAFE (249)
      >> 20. Hugged each other at the end of the lucid component (251 B)
      >> 21. Hugged as she helped me with the lift situation (263)
      >> 22. Hugged as she helped me with the lift situation, again (273 B)
      >> 23. Comforted me when I was upset (275 B)
      >> 24. Hugged me and my family in the house (280 A)
      >> 25. Hugged each other when we met up at the shops (282)

      Updated 02-19-2018 at 07:19 AM by 93119

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    12. Surreal Non-Lucid RAS (as Snake) Manipulation

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:14 AM
      Morning of February 14, 2018. Wednesday.



      By way of liminal dream control (manipulation of the dream state without lucidity as a result of virtuous circle liminal understanding of what the dream state is), features and events in a dream can get really surreal and abstract, yet still with deep involvement of the dream self and inherent autosymbolism representing the dream state and waking process itself.

      My dream’s setting is mainly in the dining room of the Loomis Street house. My dream self does not regard it as a typical wrong setting. My wife Zsuzsanna is with me (mostly remaining on my left as in our sleeping orientation). I have the task of digging up roots from parts of sections of grass to make a new garden within the floor so that only dirt remains. In this case, after spending several minutes pulling roots from the dirt of the dining room “floor”, I notice the end of a section of a miniature culvert within a hole in the ground of about four inches deep.

      Snakes will come as a RAS trigger during any time period, regardless of life circumstances or the experiences of the dreamer. It is a biological process in all primates. The purpose is often simply to alert the sleeper to prepare for waking, regardless of any real threat (and often light environmental noise, or even a vague awareness of the real environment, is enough to trigger RAS mediation of this kind).

      As such, when I focus on the miniature culvert, I am thinking an animal may live within, that is, that it leads to the animal’s home. I do not even consider how ridiculous the idea is for an animal to build a tiny “culvert” with human design aspects. There is something in the back of my mind, the very familiar anticipatory feeling caused by subliminal expectation of RAS mediation, a main factor of my dreams since early childhood.

      I briefly mention it to Zsuzsanna. My dream temporarily distorts into my older sister Marilyn making a very brief appearance (though mostly as she was in the 1960s) and my illogical thoughts relating to whether or not she had died (though she had in real life in 2014). My brother-in-law Bob is moving stuff around that belonged to her, relating to her death, even though she had been in the house minutes before. The ambiguity of me living with Zsuzsanna on Loomis Street when Marilyn and her husband were not even living there when she died does not come into focus. This error of Marilyn and her husband occurs very often, likely because it was their last address of which I saw in real life before my move to Australia.

      Eventually, my expectations are answered, and a very small grayish snake (though of various shades, including a sort of brown tone) crawls from the miniature culvert. It is only about the size of an earthworm. It eventually crawls to the kitchen. My dreaming mind is expecting this RAS mediation, but it is so weak an attempt, the snake stops moving. I am not sure if I mentally killed it or not.

      Looking into the living room from the open dining room area, I see several separate longer blades of grass on the floor, about a dozen in total. There seems to be an unrealistically large table taking up much of the living room space as I am looking under it from the opposite end of the dining room. I am wondering if one of these grass pieces is actually the snake (which makes no sense as it had just been in the kitchen). The whole time, there is not much of a perceived threat and it is almost as if my dream self is trying to activate RAS again by anticipating a small snake manifesting from a grass blade. No snake appears and I eventually awake, feeling too warm (even with our fan on).


      Tags: dirt floor, snake
      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. Surreal Non-Lucid RAS (as Snake) Manipulation

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:14 AM
      Morning of February 14, 2018. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 18,685-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



      My dream’s irrelevant setting is the dining room of the Loomis Street house. Zsuzsanna is with me (mostly remaining on my left as in our sleeping orientation). I am digging up roots from parts of sections of grass for a new garden within the “ground” (floor), so only dirt remains.

      After spending several minutes pulling roots from the dirt of the dining room “floor,” I notice the end of a section of a little culvert within a hole in the ground of about four inches deep.

      When I focus on the little culvert, I think an animal may live in it or that it leads to the animal’s home underground. (I do not consider how ridiculous the idea is for an animal to build a tiny culvert as if by human design). There is a familiar anticipatory feeling caused by the subliminal expectation of waking process dynamics.

      I briefly mention it to Zsuzsanna. My older sister Marilyn makes a brief appearance (mostly as she was in the 1960s) and I have illogical thoughts about whether she had died. Because of her death, Bob is moving her belongings even though she had been in the house minutes before.

      An answer to my expectation begins. A tiny grayish snake (though of various shades, including a brown tone) crawls from the little culvert. It is only about the size of an earthworm. It eventually crawls to the kitchen. My dreaming mind is expecting this, but it is so vague, the snake stops moving. I consider I may have killed it with my thoughts.

      Looking into the living room from the dining room, I see about a dozen long blades of grass on the floor. There seems to be an unrealistically large table taking up much of the living room as I am looking under it from the opposite end of the dining room. I wonder if one of these grass pieces is the snake (which makes no sense as it had just been in the kitchen). There is never a perceived threat. It is as if my dream self is trying to activate RAS again by anticipating a small snake manifesting from a grass blade. No snake appears, and I awake, too warm (even with our fan on).


    14. Day One: Intensive Journaling

      by , 02-14-2018 at 03:22 AM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

      Woke up at: 6:30 AM


      Dream 01: A New Member in the Family


      I'm wandering around my house when I spot a pug-like dog on top of some towels. I go and tell my mom about it, asking if I could keep him (Or her). She said yes, but that she won't be responsible for what Dad does. She also said to call her when I'm in Mr. F's class.

      He didn't like it when I brought those two stray puppies into the house, and we already have one other dog, so I kind of dreaded what would happen if Dad found out.

      I put the puppy on the floor to to lay with the other pups. My puppies are quite the wily bunch however, so I pick the pug back up.

      Dream 02: Gray Concrete


      I find myself in, of course, a gray, concrete building. A couple of the unreputable students from my school are there. I go to a cafeteria where there's a soda fountain on top of the counter. It's at this point I start thinking about light-speed travel and transport myself to the "Thinkspace".

      Because that's just the kind of think I think about when I'm bored. Maybe I watch too much Vsauce...

      The Thinkspace is a thing I made up. It's basically what happens when the dream version of me starts imagining things in his mind, separating him from the dream for a little bit.


      Bizarrely enough, it isn't a Vsauce video that plays in the Thinkspace, but an Oxhorn video. He talks about light-speed travel and shows a visual of a woman sleeping in a raft with her lower body being a castle wall. She may not be a "brick house", but she certainly is a castle wall.

      Dream 03: Raider Troubles

      Now I'm traversing a Raider infested parking garage with my sister, K. I manage to trick the Raiders into a linear platforming course (Think Donkey Kong Country) on the grounds of:

      "They're not platformer characters, K. They won't make it past the first jump and certainly not the first run jump. Nobody holds onto the run button..." And I take my leave.

      I go through a set of double doors and find myself in a school courtyard. I am by my lonesome, following a couple when I split up with them to join up with my friend, J2, a percussionist, who is sitting on a really tall chair.

      I awkwardly say to him, "J2, let me...ascend..." As I shuffle my way up that stupidly tall chair.


      Dream 04: Oh Shit, I--


      I'm now in my history teacher's class, Mr. F. I remember that Mom told me to call her a bit too late, as class just ended and I'm too scared to pick up the phone.

      A day later (In the dream, not real life) passes and I wake up on the couch. It must've been a Saturday, since I had no school.

      My brother (J) tells me to get ready, since my mom wants to go take us surfing. Now, I am neither good at nor interested in surfing, so I groan to the top of my lungs to get the message across.

      I tell my mom I feel sick and can't go surfing, and she gets noticably angry. She's in the restroom, by the way. With the door closed. And as soon as I reach out to grab my phone, she tells me to go to bed.

      Then she snaps.

      In a distorted, banshee-like voice, she tells me, "Why didn't you text me when you were in Mr. F's class yesterday, huh?!"

      This woke me up. No joke, I woke up with an enveloping sense of both dread and shock because of this.
    15. 02-12 to 02-13-2018

      by , 02-13-2018 at 10:49 PM
      I know it is a lot of writing, just not sure how to write any less, as it is all the dream details I can remember with really minimal explanation or analysis. If you want to skip to the lucid parts just Ctrl+F Lucid. Also there was a cool Pokemon part if you want to skip ahead to that.



      Here are my dreams from the night of February 12 to the thirteemph. I had a nap on my back around 2 and then fell asleep pretty easily around 7 P M after doing my waking life recall stuff. Also I have been doing some other memory exercises when I "meditate" to help my dream recall go further too.






      First round of dreams.
      "Space ship battle / Fear of night / Helping clean up from party. "

      There may have been some earlier parts with eating at a table with some people I knew, including G. and perhaps my mom and sister.

      I forgot some of this round of dreams, but I will start with the space ship battle. I remember flying in some kind of space ship or boat thing above a big body of water, in some kind of battle with other such space ships or boats. It was day time in the dream. Some how I felt that the space ship I was using was not mine. I don't remember anything else of this except kind of feeling some fear that I would be defeated and crash into the water or get hurt. Maybe I was blasting at someone else or they were blasting at me. There was an island somewhere in the part of the body of water we were flying over. I was seeing the space ships more from the outside than from a pilot position in the ship but I identified personally with one of the ships.

      In the next scene I remember, I was in this room with some kind of checkout or deli counter. I had this big bag of cheese puffs that someone had given me as a gift, but I didn't really want, because they aren't healthy in waking life. There were two heavy set African American guys, one of whom had this kind of black scarf on around his face. They were apparently police officers or some kind of good samaritans. I made a joke saying to the one guy that he was such a bad person, the humor of which coming from being based on the fact that he is actually a very good person and never gets in trouble. His face kind of lit up in a laugh. I felt bad about that joke upon awakening since it was kind of a put down in some ways, which I try not to do. Then towards a corner of some counter tops, I was giving the bag of cheesey puffs away to my friend Patrick. I was afraid for anyone to see me giving them away because I felt like whoever gave them to me was right nearby and would be offended. The bag of cheese puffs seemed to shrink in size as I gave it to Patrick.


      Then, we were looking at those brown coffee stirrers or thin straws, and then a thicker black straw. There was something about combining them by sliding the brown little straw through the big black straw, but the big black straw had an extra tube in the middle just wide enough to slide the brown straw through? It caused a knot to form toward the end of the straw and it wouldn't work. I remember thinking of that straw as I walked down the road to the Arboretum where I live, in the day time, seeing a metal chain link fence. Maybe that was a kind of transition but is more a vague memory.

      There may have been something with a lawn mower in the way beginning of the dream so I wrote "lawn mower" just to be thorough.

      In another part, I was in a house kind of like the one I live in now. By the back sliding door, there was a glow coming through, but it was night time. I had to slide the door shut an extra time because I was afraid of things of the night. My other family members were sleeping safe upstairs but I had to sleep down near the door for some reason.

      Within that scene there was also a part where I was seeing someone on their computer late at night. The dream told me to have compassion for someone who stays up late on the computer or T V because they do it out of fear of the night. It was my friend Tucker who the dream was showing me.

      In the next scene, a guy was making a microwave full of chicken or soup or something like that. It was kind of like Speed Cooking where he had actually filled the whole microwave with stuff and cooked directly in the microwave, instead of using a dish. I forgot some parts of this but it was kind of a late night party and the guy was very hungry. He said he would clean the microwave after he ate. I felt helpful so I decided to clean it myself. We were worried it was broken because a white circular part from along one of the sides had come off.

      In another part, my friend Lauren was there, and she was showing me this video thing of two numbers in rectangles, 3 and 5. One was in a red rectangle, the other another color. They kept bumping into each other like Venn Diagrams. Lauren was very upset because the number 3 kept oscillating between being a 3 or being an 8. As I watched, I could feel how upset she was, and I was thinking of responses in my head such as advice or reassurance. Then, I remembered all this stuff I learned about listening to others but not trying to rescue or "fix" them or change how they feel, which is supposed to be healthier. So I just said, "Thanks for sharing that with me," in a compassionate way, but felt it wasn't quite enough of a reply for how upset she was, as if it seemed cold.

      In another part, a woman was outside the back slider door. I heard her calling me and went out to meet her. She was probably 4 to 5 feet tall. She jumped up and gave me a big hug. I responded by holding her in the air with a big bear hug for a while. It was a very positive and nurturing feeling. I remember the woman had dark hair and may have been wearing a hoodie but not much else.

      Then in another part, people were throwing fruit at these plain muffin things to make the fruit stick to the top. They were trying with various fruit, strawberries, cherries, raspberries, stuff like that. A woman I know had a big red berry which was understood as a raspberry, and she tossed it at the muffin thing on the little living room table. It missed and bounced off. My Aunt was in this part and maybe a woman who used to live near me.

      Apparently this whole scene was a late night party I was at. My friend's Mom was needing help with all the mess, and instead of just going home after the party like everyone else, I wanted to go "above and beyond" and help clean everything up. I could also tell my friend's mom was a little overwhelmed so i wanted to sort of support her emotionally. I was walking home along that road to the Arboretum again (in the day time again?) wondering if I had helped enough.

      Then there was a part where I was in a bath tub putting soap on my legs and arms. I was reflecting on how helpful of a person I was. Kind of proud of myself or pleased with myself.






      Round 2 of Dreams.
      "Magnemite Squid / Scrub Mummy / Toilets should be Yellow"

      I woke up from one set of dreams and thought through the dreams, but felt a bit tingly and sleep must have come again before I knew it. I still remembered some of the first cycle of dreams, and I remembered the dreams in the second cycle of sleep very well.

      One of the earliest things I remember was looking at the breeze way doors of my old house and thinking they were very "solid" for it being a dream. What I meant by this was that I felt I had been to this location in the dream a few times already and every time, the doors were in the same place, open if I had left them open, closed if I had left them closed. The doors were bent though like a triangle. I remember playing with the door handle. The thing about this is, I don't have a sense that I was actually lucid in the dreams. When I was initially recalling this dream, I remember wondering if there were lucid parts, but I couldn't think of any lucid parts. So it could have been a lucid thought but I was having a non lucid dream of having a lucid thought?

      towards the end of this dream I was walking my sister somewhere for the second time at night. She came to my room to get me so i could walk her there. i kind of wanted to sleep but she needed me to walk or drive her there.

      I was going to change into blue jeans, of which I had a pair in a cabinet or shelf. I was taking a moment to use the rest room for a number two, and squatting down. We were at my previous house, but the bathroom was where the teal room used to be. I was thinking that toilets should not be white because that accentuates any yellow or brown stuff that gets on them. Toilets should be yellow or brown because then they won't look dirty with number 1 or number 2 in them. Those were my thoughts within the dream.

      At the end of the dream, I was laying down, and saw someone I knew. (Note to self #1*. ) Then, I woke up in my physical bed.

      Like I said, I laid there thinking about the dreams, but felt sleep paralysis come back to my limbs and was asleep before I knew it. I remember remembering parts during that period of time between dreaming, but I don't remember what it was I remembered! .

      In the next dream or series of dreams, I was reading from a text book. On the upper right hand corner, there was some wording that seemed un needed, so I was editing the text right there in the text book somehow. It was something like the word "Guard" but I don't remember exactly. I do remember the text seemed pretty solid, not to keep morphing on me. There was some fan running really loud, or other back ground noise, and I sang a line from a rock song in a high pitched rock star voice. A guy was like, wow, that was cool, and the noise went off, and he wanted me to do it again. But I didn't want anyone to hear me with the back ground noise off. I think I sung it again any way but felt silly.

      Then a woman was reading from another copy of the text, maybe my sister, and there was another buzzing or beeping noise in the back ground. The guy said to shut up and I was like, how dare he tell my sister to shut up! But then I realized he was saying shut up to the back ground noise, not to my sister, and I felt better. I tried to make sure my sister knew he was not telling her to shut up, but instead he was telling the noise to shut up.

      Then, it was my turn to read the text book, as if we were going around in a circle, taking turns reading. I wanted to hide the fact that I had modified the text book, but I had no copy of the original text by now, so I was faced with a conundrum of what to do. My section to read turned out to be the one I had just been editing.

      I don't remember what happened next in that part or how it got from there to here.

      I was in a room with people my age playing guitar. It was some people from my high school. Some music kind of like Andy McKee came on, and my friend was sitting in a wooden booth table, playing along with it. He was saying how he was going to be away for one year, and he was going into a room in the corner to talk with someone about it. I felt left out. Then he told me I could come along and listen, too, but then I felt bad that my friend Richie hadn't been invited. I kind of looked at my friend Richie who may or may not have realized he was left out. I had two tupperware cups with red lids and some kind of black cola type of soda in them, and my usual water bottle. I was going to carry them all to that room but it seemed like a lot.

      The next parts of the dream were a little more surreal.

      I was playing a Pokemon game, which was probably from listening to Pokemon Route music before going to bed. I had some generation one starters who I was going to "level grind". I saw some interesting pictures of the starters from red, blue and green, and I think that was how they got into my dream. I had a grass type, maybe venusaur, i was about to give two hold items to. Then i was like, wait, two hold items? I didn't give the Pokemon the items because I didn't want to lose them if the Pokemon fainted. (Different game mechanics. ) I walked from this one part off to the right side of the map where there was tall grass. I walked into the tall grass, seeing myself from above, like in the game, but then decided to press start and open the start menu. I took a few steps as the start menu was opening and a battle began. I tried to open the start menu as the battle was beginning but it wouldn't work. The game was telling me that a wild Jolteon and Magnemite had appeared, and I was prompted to choose which ability my Charmander would use. I forgot who my other Pokemon was, but Charmander was on the left, accross from magnemite, and my other Pokemon was accross from Jolteon. One of Charmanders abilities was called Magnetism, which meant that if a steel or electric Pokemon attacked him, he could attack again right after, even in the same turn. There were rectangular menus like in the game boy games. What the game called "Magnemite" turned out to be a squid type of thing, and this made me kind of do a double take. I could also see another Pokemon way off to the right of the map, as if it were in the battle too, but just from afar. So my Charmander attacked the "Magnemite Squid" and then the Magnemite Squid attacked my Charmander. I felt scared that my Charmander would lose the battle. Actually since the beginning of the battle I was afraid I would lose because I only had one leveled up Pokemon and the rest were there for E X P Share, so I was not prepared for a double battle. But, Charmander was able to attack Magnemite for a second time with its ability, and Magnemite was knocked out. I forgot the rest of that part.

      From the same map, it kind of transitioned more to the right and I was in some kind of Spongebob town. This part seemed like a very sort of blurry or foggy dream, not so solid like the others, but still vivid in a way. There was this guy we were calling a scrub which was actually more like one of the towns people of Bikini Bottom in Sponge Bob, the fish people with the big lips. We had done something like blown its face off and killed it because it was this scary monster called a Scrub. This was from its front door while it was in its house? Then we turned around and behind us was this mummy thing. I think it happened twice. We were telling the mummy thing that we killed the "Scrub" but it was saying that "Scrub" is me! So it went inside its house and we were talking to it some more or something. It was at a sink to the right and its bed had pink blankets, right in front of the front door.

      Then, a wall of white text on a black back ground appeared. I was reading it and it seemed to contain all of my dreams, fully written already. I was amazed because it seemed to contain some dreams I forgot, so I was thinking this "script" of my dreams already existed somewhere, and I could do as much dream recall as I wanted on my own, but I would always have the "full script" of my dreams to compare it to. There was some mention of Mario which I did not dream about. I thought I was already awake.

      Then i woke up physically and realized I had just had more dreams. They came to my mind without much difficulty, and then I thought through the previous dreams I had fallen back asleep before writing, recovering some of those memories, too.

      I think I forgot a part before the Pokemon scene but not sure.





      Round 3 of dreams.
      "Indoor Baseball" / "Lucid without control. "

      The first thing I remember is driving in a car with Will Ferrell and some other guy. They were doing some Lonely Island kind of rap, like one of those gangster raps but with the silly lyrics. I remember a part where I was driving a car, and it was hot outside. I put the air conditioner on, but had the windows wide open, and it still cooled down the car a lot. I was kind of worried that this was wasting energy. Will Ferrell was wearing a blue suit and he was to my left. It had blue and light blue on the suit.

      Then my Dad and my two Uncles who live nearby were all at my house and so was my sister. Everyone was drinking alcohol. We were then standing or sitting all facing the corner of this room which was ten square feet of space at the most. But we were going to play baseball. The bases were maybe each 5 to 8 feet apart. My Uncle was up to bat and I was wondering where he was going to hit the ball to. One door was open to his left, but I doubted he could aim the ball to get out through that door. So I was imagining that the ball was going to smash a window or make a huge dent in the wall. My Dad seemed to be okay with it though, like he would patch up the hole before our lease was up. I don't remember if anyone actually pitched or hit the ball, but I just remember feeling nervous. I was next up to bat. It might have been a competition between me and my uncle. Actually I wrote that I missed the baseball so maybe I was up to bat and missed the ball. I was thinking that if I did hit the ball, I would just do a "bunt" and then walk the bases, so I didn't damage anything.

      I walked around the side of the stairs and saw a silver and light brown spider walking accross the floor. It had a gigantic abdomen. It reminded me of this hair ball that's been on our stair case for a while now that every time I see it, I think it is a spider. So in the dream, I looked, did a double take, saw if it was a hair ball, but then, it turned out it was a spider! I just let it carry on with its walk, but I kind of wondered if it would creep up and crawl on me one day.

      So then I was at the counter drinking from a glass of yellowy beer. I drank like the first three quarters of it, and then I noticed I was thinking I felt like a different person. Then I noticed on a deeper level that it was more psychological. Really, I was always this person, but it was just that I trained myself to only let it out when I drank? So then I stopped drinking because I realized I don't need alcohol for me to be who I want to be. (I haven't had a drink since 2/1/2014. ) My sister was in that scene and also drinking alcohol.

      I don't know if anything else happened, but I woke up from all those, and thought through it. Then I fell back asleep.

      In the next dream I was sharing a room with my friend Ryan. I only remember it vaguely, but he was saying that I stay in too much. There was a big rectangular hamper and I was pouring urine on top of my clothes thinking I would be washing them soon anyway. I had some misgivings about pouring the urine on there but decided to go ahead and pour it in. I was working on some writing, maybe a dream journal entry, but I don't remember that.

      There was also something about something at a beach. maybe with kites or walking along the shore, but I don't remember anything else about it clearly.

      Okay so then there was something on the rooftop of a brick building. And it was like one of those dreams where I am seeing it from the outside, like watching a T V show sort of. Somehow I noticed that this was a dream. Spongebob was on the show and there were some other graphics that were kind of exciting. While watching this, I realized I was lucidly aware, but had no sense of being able to control anything within the "dream screen". But I felt very happy because the "dream show" was giving me good vibes. So I thought of those cat videos I saw where the cat is sort of twitching in its sleep, as if it is dreaming. From within the dream, I imagined twitching my physical body this way and having a big bright smile on my physical face as it slept. I felt my body do this but it may have been a non physical body rather than a physical body. Something scary might have happened at some point like a dragon came on the screen. I couldn't remember a lot of the images from that part but I just remembered brick building roof top, sponge bob and maybe patrick star.

      I woke up from that and thought through all those dreams some more, first the most recent, then going back over the previous round to be sure I hadn't lost them.

      As I did that, I fell back to sleep and dreamed more about the Lonely island rap I had already dreamed about. Sometimes that happens to me because I am thinking about a dream memory with so much concentration and focus, in order to remember it, that if I fall back to sleep, I dream about that same thing. It was like the same guys in a pick up truck but I don't remember it very clearly.






      Round 4 of Dreams.
      "Surfing and Flying LD" / "Pickpocketing Leprechaun" / "Late for family meal. "

      It seemed that in this round of dreams there were some continuations of previous dreams.

      I have a vague memory of being with my Dad in my Nana's room. he was standing where she keeps the T V in waking life and I was by the marble table. My Dad was saying something and I was trying to tell him the main problem was workaholism, but I accidentally slipped and said something like circaholism or circumcision is the main problem. When I thought about it, I realized that verbal slip actually reveals more of the truth, since when so many males are traumatized with the horror of circumcision at birth, they will develop workaholism among many other problems. But I think I tried to correct myself within the dream, and accidentally said circumcision trauma that time, too. I don't remember anything else from that part.

      The next part I remember is my sister was setting up for something inside. Maybe another baseball game? There was more scenes with Dad and my Uncles from the previous dream. This time, there was food being prepared. My sister and aunt and other relatives were looking for me, I think calling my name, but I was stuck in the basement. I could hear them calling for me, but I could not reply. My voice wouldn't travel up the stairs. Rivers of water kept being poured down over the stairs past me to the floor of the basement. It didn't really feel like a drowning dream or anything, it was just more of a mild thing with water. But I did feel it was perhaps tragic that I was right there in the basement, trying to get up, but they must have felt like I abandoned them.

      I don't remember what happened but next thing I remember I was up the stairs. My relatives were all serving food at some kind of banquet. I think I ate some and it tasted good. Maybe some pasta and cheese thing or ice cream was the closest I could remember to what food it was. It was day time outside and we were all eating out there.

      So then I was sitting with my Nana or another older relative. But then I was seeing a view point from behind this relative where this little leprechaun or Mario like character was pick pocketing my relative and then plucking various pieces of gold and jewelry off their clothes and hair without them noticing. Then, the dream kind of showed this little gnome type of character running around the house, stealing different valuable things. Then, everyone was chasing after him, angry at him, and searching all over the house to find him. The dream showed the little guy finding a hiding place while some men passed by looking for him, then he moved to hide in some storage bin while they passed by another way. Then, I came back into having a "dream body" in the same room as him. I knew he was in this blue storage bin with some wooden rods in it, but I had compassion for him. I didn't want him to be hurt and punished. So my intent was to move the box he was in into the closet so he could hide in the closet instead of being crammed into one tiny box. I was trying to protect him. As I was moving the blue bin, my friends Carlos and Omar came into the room, looking for the guy who was hiding there. He was staying perfectly still in this plastic bag within the bin. Then, the bin morphed into my black airport luggage with no one noticing. They asked what was in there, or did I find the guy in there, and I said, no, it is just all my own stuff. In it was my fraternity paddle, a funny samurai knife and sword thing and some other wooden objects. (Funny because I just unearthed those objects the other day while looking through the basement. ) I pulled out a wooden brush and felt like, oh, no that belongs to Carlos. Sure enough, Carlos said that it was his brush, so I was kind of like, oops, sorry, you can have it. There was also some kind of wooden music player that was cylindrical. Carlos was going to pay me four dollars for me to return his brush to him, but I was like, it is your brush, I should be paying you for it. The wood had red lettering on it like in waking life. The bristles were pointy and black.

      Then, I woke up and laid there, thinking through the dream. Just when I had formed some solid memories of them, I felt the tingles return and my limbs get heavy, so sleep paralysis was setting in again. Sleep paralysis was really cooperating very well with me on this night. It was like within 10 minutes of laying down and not moving, I would feel everything get heavy, and I would know sleep was right around the corner. It was nice to have that happen instead of all the fidgeting I sometimes have gotten.

      I don't think it was a true WILD but I regained consciousness within this next dream fairly early on. It began with a music video of some guys flying around at a beach, rapping or singing lyrics to a song. The words appeared as captions on the bottom of the screen and I followed along with the captions, hoping to remember them when I woke up. The captions had different colors like blue or gold or tan around them. It reminded me of the captions on a recent Stephen LaBerge lecture I watched and maybe that's why it appeared in my dream that way. As I followed along with the words, which by the way I remembered none of upon awakening, I realized this was a dream. The idea of people rapping had continued throughout the night so that might have been partly why. Then, I noticed I was watching this on a phone, laying on my side, the same side I was sleeping on in physical world, and I could see light on in my room behind the phone screen. I started to think I would be able to put down the phone and go do something, but I was afraid to move and wake myself up physically, so i just kept watching. Then, I was actually at the beach floating there with them, still seeing the same music video. After a few moments of this I felt ready to start moving my dream body, and I flew towards these sand dunes which were shaped like a skate boarding half pipe. I sort of surfed along the curves of the half pipe thing and got stuck mid way because it was just sand. But that started my sensation of surfing or "boarding" around.

      I almost just kept watching the music video, but I realized that I could passively watch music videos all day. But that might not be as cool as going out and engaging "life" or in this case the dream. So it was kind of empowering to be able to be active instead of passive.

      I continued "surf boarding" to the edge of the sand and then over this ice which had frozen over the dark water. Once I got to the edge of the ice, i was flying through the air. The sky was dark but things were dimly illuminated. I saw a guy in midair and flew straight into him, kind of on purpose, not sure why though. We bounced off each other harmlessly and talked about how cool it was to be flying here. He was a somewhat heavy African American guy, maybe my age. I thought it might be social to ask him his name, and he said Adrian. Then I saw my friend Tom from college down by the water's surface, and I shouted down, "Tom, is the water dangerous?" He said, "No, the water is totally safe!" I was totally reassured and completely trusted him. Then he looked more like my friend Amelio, and then he turned into a navy blue silhouette with white glowing rings all over it, within the silhouette, not around it. I wanted to go in the water but didn't end up doing that. Then I was flying near the top of a tall book shelf with Adrian and one of the book covers said, "How certain kinds of media make us not like our noses," Which I thought was interesting. the book cover had red on it and a cartoon of a guy in black ink drawing. I understood the intent of the book to be to communicate how when people watch too much T V or celebrity stuff, they feel inferior, such as not liking their own nose any more. I thought that was some good dream wisdom. Not to compare myself to others and not to consume a lot of mass media or look at celebrities or photos of people a lot because that is where the comparing can start.

      I thought to see if I could play a Dream Theater song within the dream, but sort of shot down my own idea. in hindsight, that would have been really cool, to try to hear a song I like in waking life, within my lucid, dream.
      (Note to self #2*. )

      I guess I flew around a little more or observed some more stuff and then woke up. I forgot the exact moment I woke up. I was able to think it through very clearly though.









      Round of 5 sleep.
      I went back to bed, hoping for one last round of dreams. Maybe even some lucidly aware dreams after my last little taste of lucidity in round 4. But, when I awoke, I had no memory of any dreams. I tried to sleep again after that, but could not get back to sleep. It was 7 A M and sunny already so usually I can't sleep much past sun up. It was a good night of dreams though and glad to be done typing it up in full.

      I know my D J entries are pretty long so I might try to come up with some way to highlight what I would want people to read if they only wanted to read 25%.