12th September 2021 Fragment: (earliest dream) Mix of Avorion and Freelancer I think. I go to secret systems, where I attack and destroy (wandering?) Nomad battleships. In one system, there's a super battleship in a dry dock. No enemies at first but doesn't take long until they appear. Fragment: Stuff about mom and dad and family in general. At one point I'm in a version of the old home, an altered version of my bedroom. I have stuff all over a table or bed. Notebooks, papers, etc. Many of which have drawings of mine. I'm looking for something but it's not drawings. Then at one point mom comes in and starts to look too. Now I'm concerned she'll see some of the drawings. I sometimes take things off her so she can't look. (gap) Then mom and L are in the kitchen (upstairs). There's a context of breakfast but it's still pitch black outside. I feel really drowsy and disoriented and I feel like I may be naked but nobody comments on it, if I am. I stumble a bit, I think towards the pillar corners in the kitchen, where I feel the fridge is, despite having seen it near the entrance on the left, next to L. (gap) A relatively long segment where I'm with aunt B and we go around in her car and it has issues at one point. She knows some scruffy mechanics that are actually pretty good as it turns out. The job costs 100 and is done in fifteen minutes. During that time we went to a cafe nearby. Southern P feel and sunset? (gap) Talking to mom and dad about the previous bit. Then mom asks me if I've been getting the money dad sends me and I'm trying to say thank you, but they don't hear and interrupt me every time too. Then they comment on how I should say thank you and I say (frustrated) I would if I got a chance to speak. Then, we talk about T but I actually want to talk to H but can't remember his name for some reason (language gearing). But so then T appears anyway and he seems ok but mom and dad quickly have a go at him over something minor and he understandably gets upset. Then he goes off in a direction towards a campus or something and we walk off up a slight hilly bit, towards a town or something. (general feel of a mix of home town and L) Rest of recall gone but dream carried on for a bit.
5th September 2021 Fragment: (micro dream/daydream after having woken, slightly more aware than during regular dreaming but not lucid) Driving around in a learner car. Daytime, clear weather. I'm with a (white?) male driving instructor. Going around a countryside bit with some awareness of a river of sorts running alongside the curvy road I'm on, the view of the river is blocked by typical reeds. The driving instructor throws some litter out the window, looks like some kind of metal foil. I think this is so wasteful, so I make us stop off the road in the middle of a floodplain farm field, having cleared the more dangerous part of the road first. I get out and tell him to get out too (aggressively?) and I start heading for where the litter was thrown. Notes: - Though the instructor has a "teacher" role, he has bad habits and in fact ends up being the one who's bossed around by me. -- My attitude overall through the segment is one of confidence, not overly so, just enough to feel like I am doing the right things and not doubt myself too much. -- Notably I also wait to express my anger by first clearing any traffic and driving off a spot that's least dangerous despite doing so in a reckless/angry manner. This is some sign of self-control, something that I feel could be doing better, at the time of writing this entry now. - The dream location was very much like areas of my native home but with some mix of certain lakes near where I live now.
I had another dream set at the beach last night. What I remember most about this dream was this beautiful blonde who was probably in her early 20's. When the dream began, I was walking from the pool area to the beach looking for my friends. I couldn't find my friends anywhere but while I was walking around looking for them I bumped into this beautiful girl who was also looking for some of her friends. We started talking and soon we both forgot that we were separated from our groups and we were flirting with each other. As we continued to talk, I was trying to find out more about her like where she was from and how much longer she would be at the beach. We were suddenly interrupted when my sister showed-up and told me I needed to go with her because she and mom were ready to go and I needed to go with them. I remember feeling humiliated both that my sister had interrupted my conversation with the girl I was into and that she had announced to the girl that I was riding home with my sister and my mom. I then follow my sister through a beach access beside the resort to the parking lot where the Reliant was parked. When I saw we would all 3 have to ride up front, I tired to get my sister to get in first and scoot over to the middle, but she reminded me I was not supposed to be riding back with them so I needed to get in the middle. I went ahead and got in and scooted over to the middle and buckled up and then my sister got in the passenger seat and closed her door and buckled. While me and my sister were waiting for mom, I heard my sister say here comes your girlfriend, and then saw the blonde I had been taking two walking from the front entrance of the resort out to the parking lot. I was staring at her as she walked by and hoping that she didn't notice me and my sister waiting in the old reliant. I watched and she walked over to a red Ferrari and got a bag out of it and then walked back to the resort. I remember thinking not only was she hot, but she must also be really rich. As I was watching the girl walk into the resort, I saw my mom pass her on the front steps and then walk towards us while the girl disappeared into the resort. When my mom got into the Reliant as usual she could not get it to start. After spending several minutes trying to get it started, she got out to look under the hood and while she was out of the car, I saw the girl and a really muscular guy walking out of the resort and towards the Ferrari. I was thankful that that got into the Ferrari while my mom was still looking under the hood and that they did not notice me in the middle seat waiting for mom to get done and get back in. When mom finally got back in and began trying to start the car, I noticed the guy who had been with the girl walking back into the resort. I turned my head and saw the girl was waiting by the passenger side of the Ferrari. As mom kept turning the key trying to get the Reliant started, I kept looking over towards her hoping that she did not notice my situation. I woke up from the dream while my mom was still trying to start the car and my sister poked me in the ribs and told me my girlfriend was heading our way. I woke up right as she was walking in front of the Relaint and turned her head when she her mom trying to start it to see me in the middle of the front seat between my mother and younger sister.
I had another dream with my mother, sister, and the Reliant set at the beach last night. The main thing I remember about this dream was that at the beginning I went to the Cabana Bar by the pools and tried to order a frozen margarita. The girl working the bar asked to see my ID and when I showed it to her, she laughed and told me "better try again next summer". I think based on this, I was 21 in the dream. When I turned away from the bar, my sister was waiting and told me she and mom where ready to go and I needed to ride with them since my friends had already gone home. I then followed her out to the Reliant and reluctantly scooted over to the middle seat and buckled the tan lap belt around my waist when she threatened to tell mom I had tried to order a drink from the Cabana Bar. We then had to wait in the Reliant for several minutes while my mom checked out of the resort, and I had to keep listening to my sisters threaten to tell mom I had tried to order a drink. When my mom finally got to the Reliant and got into the driver seat to my left, she spent several minutes trying to get it started but could never get the engine to fire-up. I remember she eventually though it may need some gas and me and my sister waited in the car for several minutes while my mom walked to a gas station down the road and then came back with a big red gas can. I remember my mom then seemed to take forever putting gas in the car and I was humiliated that everyone who walked past knew I was stuck riding between two females. When my mother got done putting the gas in the car, me and my sister had to wait again for her to take the gas can back to the gas station and then get back to the car. When my mom finally got back in the car she started trying to get it started again, but putting the gas in the car did not do any good. I woke up from the dream while she was trying to get the car started and getting increasingly frustrated that it wasn't starting up.
31st August 2021 Fragment: I'm with someone I know, maybe H. We're in a building and a dream character arrives and he's like a cousin of the other person or something. There's something going on but then this dream character, a white man in his forties, invites me to have a drink or dinner with him at a nearby place. I agree with some reluctance because I didn't want to get away from here but I'm also enthusiastic as I think about how he'll likely be paying for the meal too. A bit later, I'll supposedly drive myself to the place but my car isn't so much a car as it is a light frame with pedals. I also never manage to control it very well, especially the clutch and gear stick, which sticks up from the outer right side. (recall gap) Something about Arab cities and water. Implied desert region. There's a flowing water source that's important to the region and around which much is determined. There's a lot of insect life around and I feel bothered by it, but the locals don't? There are some scenes around this part that seem to mix different points of view, from above or far away. I have some perception of these cities being coastal and at the deltas of rivers.
8th August 2021 Fragment: At one point I'm in the bedroom with H. It's morning but the light is wrong. The sun is towards the end of the street. We keep hearing noises outside interrupting our sleep and we check out the window a few times. At some point through this we hear a woman and man, struggling or fighting, we think. H looks out the window and asks her if she's OK and if she needs help. She says it's fine, but I think the man is upset still. They look fairly local I think. Then a taxi thing comes by and picks both of them up? It all happens somewhat fast. Later, we're in the car. We go around the roundabout in front of where the civic centre is supposed to be. We remark on how it was all changed, with this newer and bigger roundabout that has a glass dome building and gardens and so on in the middle of it. I comment "but still, there are no seats? what's wrong with people? first they don't like being outside, then they need to be outside but aren't allowed and then they are allowed and there's no incentive". Fragment: Something on a space station. Me and H are reclaiming it or something and we need to get something, I don't know what, some modules maybe. I remember seeing the station from the outside, in a sort of 2.5D view and it has glass on the side, or is shown as a bisection, like in some 2D and 2.5D games. Notes: - The arguing couple may partially be residue of one of the couples in our street, who are frequently getting into domestic arguments, and the man has been arrested on occasion. - The angle of the sun would have suggested mid/late afternoon, but the colour and so on indicated morning. - My thoughts on the roundabout mirror some of my waking/conscious thoughts on that sort of topic. In the dream, the area inside the roundabout was much larger than in reality and partially under construction. Come to think of it, the way we were going around it was reverse to what it should have been. - The space station is probably some Starbound residue.
Competition that turns into car hijack I'm spectating a competition were people from two different teams do different objectives. I walk around and look how they are doing their best outside. I walk into a shaft and see how people press a button as fast as they can. I person I know from Högstadiet asks me if I can help them. I don't do at first but later on I help them. It's a big hose, more than 1 dm in diameter. I press the black button on the hose as fast as I am able to and see how a liquid is starting to flow from the hose. I am filling a mini pool with the liquid and an instrument is mesuering how fast I am doing it. It goes up to a 5 and all the people around me are cheering. I do it even faster and I'm able to get it to 22 which makes it so that the team I helped won. I ask some people for their phone numbers and Max agrees that it is smart to do when you have won. Someone asks me if I have a driving license and I say I do. They are about to drive away with the car and I get a sudden impulse to drive it instead. This triggers lucidity. I think about how it is only a dream and jump in in the already full car on the driver's lap and start to drive with full gas. I notice that we are driving from the chapel's parking lot. No one is saying anything and I'm a little bit dissapointed because I excpected more action. This raises my lucidity because real people would never act like this. I notice how slow the car is going and I'm suddenly teleported to the back seat but I still have the gas pedal. I don't see anything in front of me and I tell the driver to raise the gear lever but she says that she won't. The dream is becoming darker and my whole body is starting to vibrate which wakes me up. Notes: I was really lucid there which made me surprised because I haven't tried to become lucid for a long time now. Flying in darkness and calling light. I'm in my room, climbing on the furniture that is almost falling. I'm on the top shelf, left to the door and look around me. I decide to go fly out the window instead. This triggers some lucidity. I'm flying slowly and notice that I'm at Sturkö and not in town anymore. I see how dark it is and scream out that "it will be light!", which makes me more lucid. I keep on flying and see a butterfly but it is weird. It's like a butterfly is taped on a gnome that walks back and forth but I can't see the gnome because it's too dark. I keep on flying and notice that I'm suddenly back where I started and there's finally light! I bright star is shining up everything. I fly over the same fields again and see that it wasn't a gnome but a bird with patterns on it back so that it looked like a butterfly in the dark. I'm in a big school. Mom is also there.
3rd August 2021 Fragment: I am in some kind of complex, a lab or hospital. Something about hand gel at the entrance and an old man (part of staff) is commenting on its futility. Dark and moody environment, maybe some red lighting. (recall gap) I'm in a car with my cousin T and our aunt B, plus someone else I can't recall anymore. My aunt is driving and I'm sitting in the middle at the back, with T sat to my right. I'm kind of slumping and when I try to do something about it, it feels like not much changes. Our arms are touching in some way that feels kind of sensual, I feel that she is feeling as I am feeling, that it's a good sensation but that we shouldn't be doing it. On some level I'm concerned someone in the front of the car will notice, but on another level I also feel myself not caring. In the dream I think about how I haven't felt this specific pleasure of touch in so long, (as if it had been years).
29th July 2021 Didn't make any initial notes for this, just left the recall and ended up doing other things all day. Scraps: Some bit in a "mall", but it actually looks like a 1500-1800s palace of sorts, English or Germanic style. There is a large open courtyard area and something about a rebellion or conflict happens, I become the leader of a defence force for this "mall" and start giving orders to impromptu soldiers, who wear some sort of appropriate medieval soldier outfit, wearing flowing yellow tabards with a white trim. Some of the helms have plumes, blue? At some point after that, I climb up some place high but it also looks like the area outside H's village. There's some kind of pipe organ structure but it's half-natural or built into a natural area. I activate something, a mechanism of some sort. Then or before that, something about a car and being driven around, with H driving I think. (rest of recall has all faded)
I am in what looks to be some kind of large home improvement store, having travelled here to meet up with some people. It is a very large store: towards the back, the aisles actually turn into streets, which is where I need to go. I’ve been this way enough times to where I’ve got the route memorized, and when I reach the signpost with a number of street signs, I take a left onto Montaigne Street. Montaigne street has a rather sleazy vibe, with a sort of over-the-top neon-over-historic-district aesthetic. But it seems completely confined to this particular street, and then it’s back into plain downtown area. However, something is strange: the street I’m looking for doesn’t seem to be here. This is an area full of little winding streets, so I look around for a bit to make sure I haven’t missed it, then head back out to where the store begins and go along Montaigne Street all over again. But the street really seems to have gone now. I go back to the store area and browse the stationary near the front as I consider what to do next. Maybe I forgot to check something, and the meet-ups aren’t happening right now. It’s going to be a few hours before I head back, and I need to figure out what I’m going to do for dinner at some point. I also decide, in a moment of latent lucidity, that I’m going to change the name of Montaigne Street to Montero Street, as that seems to fit it better. In the end, I just decide to look around the store for a while longer. Towards one corner, I find a series of furnished rooms. They’re a bit like display rooms you might actually find in a home improvement store showing off appliances or furnishings, only these ones seem to be set up as miniature haunted houses. I enter the room on the far end first, one that’s almost completely dark. This one seems to have a “pet ghost” theme. As I explore the various furniture and parts of the room, certain things happen, triggered by my presence, such as noises or motion, and even the visible ghosts of cats. But I don’t find the place scary at all. It’s actually rather relaxing. I lie on the bed in the corner for a while listening to things rustle and thinking about dead pets from times gone by. After a while, I move on, going into a couple more rooms I can no longer remember before heading into what’s clearly set up as a haunted nursery. This room has a lot more light coming in, so it’s easy to see the furnishings, most prominently, a young child’s bed – not actually a crib, but something that seems made for children about that age, maybe from an earlier era. The bed is dishevelled, and there are several piles of feces either on it or on the floor nearby, hinting towards neglect. It doesn’t really look real and definitely doesn’t smell real. As I examine a chest on the side of the room facing the store, I suddenly see a large group of ghosts standing together, looking in my direction. One of them, an older gentleman in a suit, gestures that I should come over to them. I do, and they lead me to a long table set up for a meal. It seems that the store has staffed their haunted rooms with real ghosts, and now that they’re off-duty, they’re closing up the rooms and inviting me to eat with them. It’s only once were seated and the meal begins – tea and pastries – that they begin talking, or possibly that’s just when I become able to understand them. The older gentleman is seated on my left, and we have a conversation in which I distinctly remember telling him about my cat, Thomas, who died 12 years ago. At some point, the scene changes – the implication seems to be that time has passed, and I’m travelling somewhere with three or four of them. One opens the back door of a black car, and another climbs in. I realize I’m supposed to get in as well. I notice I’m wearing a smooth black coat coming down somewhere between my knees and waist and a pair of black leather gloves. The scene changes further after that to a completely new setting – and while the store, at least, was almost certainly located in the U.S., this place has more the vibe of a developing country, possibly in the Caribbean. The man showing me around takes me past an area where many small boats are docked. He seems to feel this is a touristy area, not really representative of the place itself. At a clothing market, somebody comes up to him. It seems he’s needed somewhere immediately, so it looks like I’m going to be on my own for the next couple hours. We agree to meet back up here in that general timeframe – this doesn’t seem to be a place where people make appointments more precise than that. 15.7.21
30th June 2021 Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes. Fragment: (going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point) The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling. I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement. A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be. Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it. Scraps: Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say. Notes: - In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid. -- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me. - Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit. - Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.
23rd June 2021 Fragment: I'm mining in a cave with H. It's a mix of MC and BL, I find a block of ruby ore and dig it out. Disappointed with finding only one piece, I dig some more of the surrounding area, maybe two or three block radius. I don't find any more ore of any kind but I've uncovered this old and damaged wooden door. It leads into a 2x2 (blockwise) space, also mostly in wood and more realistic. It's all dark stain but looks old like watermarked and scratched. There's another door opposite, it has cracks and through them and the bottom of the door blue-ish daylight comes through. I tell H to come or something and I open the door. Then on the other side I'm in a small hall I think. It's like many palaces like ones I've visited in my native country, in terms of style and so on. There's an arching double door made of wood, painted white, it has windows on the top half and the rest of the hall has several large latticed windows along the same wall. Through the double door is a covered courtyard, kind of, it's more like a square and covered landing at the top of some stairs and apart from some iron bars and the stone-like roof, it's open to the elements. This roof is low and not far from my head, if I had claustrophobia I'd probably consider it to be a claustrophobic space. I look around. This bit has a pattern-decorated tile floor, white and yellow? It's relatively high here, some four or five stories at a guess and below I see a much bigger courtyard with a road and some dried-up stone fountains. I also look upwards where I can. It's an overcast day I think and I see more of the palace building sections, understanding it to be a convoluted layout. In the dream, I'm excited and verbally share my excitement with H, I think implying that I'll be taking it over or something. (recall gap) Arriving at some prison in a car, a road curves around the bottom of a cliffside and it's relatively flat down here. There's a look of North American deserts to this cliffy area. I get out of the car and approach the prison entrance, there are some purple-clothed gangsters that seem to have come out of GTA:SA; I shoot their leader with an oversized desert eagle, the rest of them become agitated and I threaten them calmly not to try anything or they'll be next. I walk past them, past the prison entrance and to a bit on the side of this prison complex. There's a garage and a damaged car. Someone fixes up the car and I take it away, with someone else sitting at the back. Then I see myself driving it in third person and when I go too fast, this other person sitting at the back gets whipped out from the rear window but holds on. There's some interface showing me their health rapidly decreasing and as I slow down, it returns a little. I determine that I can only do short bursts of speed because he must survive. Police chase after us but I am not too concerned, more annoyed than anything, expecting to lose them soon. Notes: - Apart from the fact that I had watched a Star Trek episode last night involving a prison planet, I can't really figure out where the GTA sequence might have stemmed from. It was an extremely casual sequence where I was not exactly myself and was more just a character myself. - The palace matched all of my expectations for how that type of place would look, single pane glazing, somewhat old and not taken care of, in a certain style, etc. I have not been to any such palace or similar styled building in quite some time, years really. - We have recently been thinking about playing Minecraft again but we haven't made any decisions yet, especially since we want to use some mods. I have some longing for mining and building, which both that part and the part about the palace seem to relate to. - There was something in that recall gap but it seems to have evaporated. I can only vaguely recall some disjointed scenes.
I had this dream last night. I don't remember everything. I was in a building which looked like the inside of my church. Except it wasn't. It was something much more important. I'm not sure what I was doing in the first half of the dream. But the 2nd half I was something like a security guard. In this half of the dream.. I saw some "bad-looking" people walking out with boxes past the "kitchen" . I was a bit suspicious so I followed them out (the outside at least this location also looked like my church) and I'm not sure excatly what the reason was but I was forced to get into a car of some man who looked to be the leader. For some reason once in the car they drived in such a werid way we ended up going up the hill past my house (which was werid) and the park oppistie. But dream ended after the man said something since I had to use bathroom
I’m at work (I’m not sure where, but it feels like some kind of retail store). I notice a quiet Asian girl wandering around and, as I perceive it, ‘scoping out the place’. I make a mental note of it but don’t do anything else. Now, I see her in a small garage (right outside of but still part of the store?), crouching down by a car. She’s taken off its license plate and is measuring it. I think this is too suspicious, so we go out and stop/talk to her. I’m with Melissa and Brooke in what seems like downtown. We’re by the river and a large bridge. To the side of the bridge is a large tree or tree trunk protruding out almost parallelly over the water. I think this tree is some sort of monument (911?). We walk out onto it to have our picture taken, but end up breaking it, which feels very serious.
I am at work. There is a man in line who has a few things and looks somewhat sketchy. He gets up to the counter and asks for some ice because he’s ‘recycling’ his beer. I think this means it’s warmed up and he’s trying to cool it down rather than throw it away. I tell him to hang on a second and go back to get some. I tell a guy in the back this scenario, as if I had to tell him yes. I’m still not sure if this is something we’re supposed to do, but I think it’s fine. The ice bin is long and also full of fabric bags. I fill one, unsure of how much he really needs. Back in the front, I see him with a small stack of DVDs and casually rushing out the front door. Julia is here and says something like ‘Wow, well go kick him out’ as if this was obviously my fault. I run out to at least get a plate. He’s gotten into a small, rusty yellow car with a woman in the passenger’s seat. He has to back straight out, so I see the plate, but it has a plastic covering and the numbers behind it start spinning like a combination lock. Terribly smart, I think, even though it’s disappointing. I pick up a rock and throw it but miss. I try a few more times, even as they’re stopped at a red light down the street.
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