All DJ Entries

This week, my cousin who was visiting and detoxing from fentanyl Died while everyone in the house was asleep, she had a seizure by herself and choked to death... In spite of that I had some recall.

Jamie 1

A dream where we were in the car she used to drive in 2011, it was a really old style car, but it really suited her. Don't remember much else from the dream.

Jamie 2

Bit of an intimate dream i had while dozing off during watching something on Youtube... I guess she was trying to make up for the weeks that weren't good?

Work

Dream about work but you had to climb a large metal chute just to get into the building. I realized i left my jacket there so I crawled uo the chute and knocked a few times. A co worker I know answered and got my Jacket when I asked for it.

???

Dream abotut seeing an old friend from chilliwack. He seemed really standoffish. I wanted to ask him why he suddenly hated me so. He said he didn't hate me and gave some weird reason. We were all in a very large house in this dream.

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.

I am in a large house that seems to be up on a hillside. I think the house is Jim and Rhianna’s. (It reminds me of Harry’s house, including where it’s located). I’m in the large pool room, and it seems that the walls are almost entirely glass. Looking out, the landscape cascades down almost immediately after the house in a series of small but steep hills. They are the typical desert sand, sage, and stone. It is rather beautiful with them in the foreground and a view of the entire city in the background. It seems to be evening, and I imagine hiking/exploring through these hills.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Riverstone is showing the house to his professor and I haven't met him yet because the house is big. Actually, some 4 floors, including a whole restaurant on ground floor. I realize the professor is leaving and they are at the restaurant, so I go down there. He asks me how I am and I complain that I hardly have time to visit parts of this house, let alone clean it, but I need to work on the computer to make a living. When he leaves, I look at the restaurant and think "why don't we rent it to someone?" Really good idea, but then I wonder "Wait, when did we buy this house?" And I realize it is only a dream.
But I lose my train of thought to some story about a murder of a kid in a medieval town.
There was a couple who used very incipient forensic techniques to investigate crimes and they were trying to investigate this case, but the mostly ignorant people thought they were actually serial killers with a fetish for corpses and didn't understand their observations and collection of evidences and samples. One day a mob attacked their carriage and they died stupidly. I am sitting at a library table, reading about these stories and I am disturbed by a guy who is sitting too close to me on the bench that runs along the table length. I ask him please to move away and he behaves irrationally, keeps harassing me. Then he farts. So then I decide to do the same to him and start moving closer and pushing him away from the bench until he almost falls to the ground, and he gets pissed and goes away. Some kid passing by sees all my forensics books and goes ask an adult what the hell is taxidermy and why I am studying those disgusting things. I feel them looking at me with the same type of incomprehension I believe that couple from the past probably experienced.
Then I visit a friend who just started working at some food processing plant or big supermarket with food processing. She is sleep deprived and something happened that she was scolded for and she is crying. But a couple colleagues come to praise her, aware that she is working overtime as she is replacing two other people who left. So they also get teary while thanking her for actually having brought some relief to them, who were previously taking up that workload. I feel bad for them, because I work from home, make my own schedule and sit on the computer and definitely don't go through that level of stress and exhaustion. I tell them I wouldn't trade places with them, and it comes out not the way I intended, so they give me a blank stare, but then they admit they could not do my job and it is what it is.

I am with Dad and Makayla, trying to find a hotel room. I think the number includes 2,6, and 4? It seems we are walking through a hotel building, but it also looks like a large house, with the entrance to each room looking like a doorway. At times it seems we’re in a different hotel, or maybe it’s just that the theme has changed. Watching the room numbers as we go, we come up to where ours should be but is not. We comment how this makes no sense. Now we’re in a portion that looks more like a typical hotel, and I think Makayla spots our room. The door is open and reveals a room I didn’t really expect. It is very small for a hotel room, and three beds of varying sizes are taking up just about all of the floor space. There is a ledge on the wall with a row of thin-curtained windows. They seem to be lightly illuminated from behind the curtains. The beds are topped with very thick and bohemian-patterned comforters that help give the space a comfy feel (it also reminds me of the Enchanted Forest in Placerville). I see a door that must be to the bathroom and wonder if it is nice. I’m also initially worried about getting good sleep with the beds being so close together. We all settle onto a bed, and I say something like ‘I would love to do mushrooms here.’ Dad looks disappointed/irritated, but Makayla seems to agree.

I am outside with some others. We are following a middle aged British lady to a house that must be hers. We nonchalantly ascend an impossibly steep staircase as she tells us about the house. I make a comment about the architecture, in admiration of it. I also tough the black façade (it’s steeply inclined, almost 90 degrees) and rock on my heels to put weight on whatever I’m standing on, finding it to feel hollow and not altogether sturdy seeming. We are inside the large house now. I think the others are some of my coworkers and we’re staying in a room with one of the residents. Mine is a girl, maybe in her teens. This room is large, upstairs, and completely baroque. The color scheme seems to be greys and dark wood, but every surface is ornamental, sculpted, or decorated. There is a shelf along the entirety of the far wall that is set with china as if for a meal. I find it odd at first but then come to like the idea. The bed is in the center of the room and impeccably made. The feeling is somewhat sterile, but maybe more so refined and elegant. I see Eric in the room across the hallway. I go over and close either his door or the door to this room, hoping he doesn’t find it suspicious. I say something that the girl takes sexually?, which puts me off because this is not at all how I meant it.

I am in a large and opulent house with an unfamiliar girl. There is the sense that the family is out for some amount of time. I am carrying this girl, she, and probably me too, completely nude into a large bathroom. The space is lots of tile, I think L shaped, and with a tier or two. There are many in ground tubs, either hot tubs, bathtubs, or both. Each seems to be a different dimension and lit from within by its own color. I walk very carefully as I carry this girl at chest height facing me. I then lift her, while walking, this being feasible only by her extreme petiteness, and bury my face between her legs to begin going down on her. It is unfamiliar, sweet, pungent. We then near a pool and I start setting her down. Now, the couple? that lives here shows up. They see us, and the situation is slightly awkward. Now, I am walking through the house and it’s like the family is gone again. Each room is indicative of that, shades drawn, lights off. I can walk for a while and find a new room at each turn. I’m now outside and looking at the house. It is angular and somewhat modern, and off-white. I notice that the windows are reflective so they can’t really be seen though.




I’m with Laynie in a store that must be in a mall. Behind a rack of clothes I see a preteen girl throw a thing of makeup into her pants/pocket behind her back. We also see her friend bringing makeup items towards a fitting room and begin taking bras off of hangers. I think we agree that we’re going to stop them even though we don’t work AP anymore?

The dream had begun around my mother's old house. We were walking on her street. I was next to the mailbox when I started to realize this was a dream. Everything became so vivid. I wasn't in control but I had the thought that it was a dream. The sky above was a beautiful light blue with the sun shining onto the clouds that made them a light orange. I walked up the street amazed at how vivid everything was. At the top of the street I got a better view of the sky and was in awe. I thought 'this couldn't be a dream, it seems so real.' I was so confused by how real everything seemed, I couldn't tell it was a dream. I turned left and walked down the street. I passed a dream character who acknowledged me, it felt like I was the main character in a movie and people were doing finger guns as they passed me. I walked up the hill and the same dream character I walked by would appear again and again each time I looked at them while they passed. We stopped by an old neighbors house and the same dream character was laying on a chair sunbathing.

I am in a house with Brittney and Melissa. This house seems large. I am in or by a bed with Melissa and another, unfamiliar girl. They are both asleep. I know it’s only 6 or 6:30 pm, which irritates me. I get up and go find Brittney in another bedroom. I tell her about how this irritates me. This room is large and long. There is a step down after the bed and a sunken tub and fire pit before a sliding glass door. I walk over there and at first think the fire pit is another tub because it is sunken and empty. There are kids’ shoes outside the door, and it looks like a familial backyard.

Jamie 1

One flash of a dream with her standing in a black space staring at me. she looks mad at me about something.

Jamie 2

This one I had just yesterday. We are walking down a street, it reminds me of olds when we use to hang out and walk down the street. We come across a house that has burned down. I have false memories of knowing the owner that lived there and he had some secret rooms with a stash of... i don't know what. when we walk by Jamie says she wants to find it. There's basically a pile of ashes where the house was along with some wooden boards on the ground still red in ambers. We walk on the lawn and I wake up. Well at least she wasn't mad anymore.

Lucid

Was walking outside at night. Got lucid but forget how. I was in a primal instinct mood. Didn't remember to look for Jamie. I was by a house and i tried to look in the window. i thought i saw a couple sleeping. I was going to fly through the window, but it shifted into a giant TV screen of a show where a couple were sleeping in bed. I was going to fly into it...

FA, check my phone to see how much time on my alarm is left. The phone has strange symbols. Become lucid but I am more concerned with how much time i have left so i try to wake up for real.

FA, check my phone to see how much time on my alarm is left. The phone has the same strange symbols. Become lucid and try to wake up again.

FA, check my phone to see how much time on my alarm is left. The phone has the same strange symbols. Become lucid and try to wake up again.

Yes that happened four or five times in a row and really woke up with 2 minutes on my alarm left.

Dad

somewhere with my dad in a house or something. I am telling him how he was really emotinally abusive when I was younger. I was mad and really accusing him. He looked really pissed off.

Accidental house demolishing
Apparently I seem to have accidentally ordered a house demolishing. A very small (human size) crane appeared in the corner a sort of room where apparently I and my father live and started hitting the walls and the walls slowly crumbled. I told my father what I had done and he got really angry and I ran to the crane and tried holding it off, and, apparently, it worked. Then, later, another one appeared and started hitting the walls, but this time they didn't crumble which apparently meant it was there for a different purpose.

---

Strange that I remembered a dream on a school day. But I'm not complaining.

Reviewing life moments after death
I am in complete darkness, and the only thing that I can still sense are my memories. There is a sort of sad music, but it has a happy and ethereal to it, like I was done now and no longer had to worry about anything, but now it is all over in exchange. It was some sort of synth instrument maybe, but there was definitely piano. I relive the memory of when I was 4 and apparently a cousin and his mother were coming up to visit us. I came to see them. Then, probably a few years later, apparently the house of them were now right next to ours, only about 8 meters needed to walk to the other's house entrance. It was night, and the cousin was visiting. At some point later we apparently flooded their house, which was extremely big, with phosgene for some reason and left to my house. At some point I looked to the window and it was pitch black outside. My mother smelled something weird at some point, and I suggested it might be the phosgene, so I closed our windows. Had problems closing the left one, though, and it had a weird design. Back in the black, I kept thinking how I really wished that you could just turn back time. At some point I also thought about my borther.

---

That was deep.. also, that phosgene part was weird.

Joining a forum about spirits after a ghostly experience
I am in a dark house, it seems to be my home. A TV is running on static. Suddenly I have some sort of paranormal experience which freaks me out which seems to be about some recently deceased grandpa or uncle, so I join a forum about that and try not to glance at threads, especially not image threads because I was still very freaked out. I either make a post or read a post that was like the experience I had. The experience might have had something to do with American Indian mythology.

---

School started, so all lucid progress is basically lost until next holidays.

23rd July 2020

Dream:

In a house like in Terraria, with a similar viewing angle/style just with more realistic detailing. But the dream itself started out more like reality and I got in this house bit. I was on a cliff ledge or something, there was a sandstone building and it was kind of dark, I believe there was a sort of cliff overhang above. It was daytime but there was no direct sunlight here, just bounced light. I was there to kick some people out?

There was a bit of bedlam inside the house when I first got in. Some of my family was there and there was a lot of old and dark stain furniture. Eventually I left the house while it was in the Terraria view mode and things became 3D again and more like BL.

Remember some bit about fighting a special UFO boss. (DFLN thread) Travelled really far at high speed while fighting it. Come to think of it, reminds me of some old Sega Megadrive games... I defeated this boss and it crashed in a body of water and the high-speed chase thing was over. Then I wanted to get inside the machine via a hatch and I remember jumping in the water or something but the hatch was like a massive AAA battery port too and I had to disconnect and remove the terminals and parts of the casing? I remember initially thinking about needing air, but then realising or thinking that it didn't matter or something.

I seem to remember there was a lot more to this dream, but the detail is all gone.

I can't remember the dream scene but at some point I was walking and the dream looked very real and the idea came about that this was a dream, and I thought 'no that can't be true... wait is it?' and then I realized it was a dream and the dream exploded into vividness. The dream was a bit dark so I shouted "clarity now!" but the dream sort of warped, it reacted but did not necessarily light up, I was at the KC pool and a girl stepped backwards into me and was leaning on me.

At another point I went lucid again and was in a room on the floor looking up at someone on a bed, I started rubbing my hands together to try to get the dream to stabilize. I looked up at the person and said 3x3 is 9, 4x4 is 16 and they just sort of looked at me, the dream suddenly went very blurry and crashed.

I was in my bed on my back looking up, I was in that in between state where my body was stiff but I could move, I felt my left kidney tensing up and it was very uncomfortable, this happened a few times and then it switched to SP, I was in my bed and the room went dark, I didn't think I was going into another lucid, I suddenly thought 'Okay so this is when I astral project... astral project!" and I tried to will myself into getting out of my body but it didn't budge.

I also had a non-lucid earlier where I was in a house, everything felt off, it felt like I was alone there. My vision turned to an interactive overview map of a beach resort, my friends' faces were icons on different parts of the map, I felt like I hadn't been invited but then my face icon popped up at a location and I thought I had now been invited. Back in the house I needed to get ready, the upstairs seemed like an unfinished attic. A rat ran up to me and I thought that I didn't want to be sleeping and have a rat near me. I went downstairs and in my mind if felt like a very intricate basement that went deep into the ground, again it felt like I was alone, I went down into the basement through a hallway into a room and I could see a rat casually hop into the room and look at me. I felt strange and decided I needed to get out of there as the place felt haunted and I felt like it was going to be a struggle to find my way back upstairs, I walked backwards in order to keep my eye on the room, I could see another smaller room attached to the room lit up by itself.