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I'm on a lake. In the lake, there's a small island; there's an enormous tree whose roots cover almost the entire island; at the base of the tree, there's a standing mirror, silver in color this time; and in front of the mirror, there are two steel bars. There's a steel vine covered in thorns that's wrapped around the bars in an arch, serving as a lock. I unwind the thorny vine and remove it. The mirror's open now.

Traveling through the basement of a ruined mansion, where the walls have crumbled so much there's a sense of open air and greenery, there's a painting of Joan of Arc commissioned by the woman who used to own this estate, and I'm pleased to see she had it painted so that Joan resembles the commissioner herself. This would be considered disrespectful, which is why it was hidden away in the basement.

I'm in an open, airy, bright library where some event is going on, some new release that's drawn in a lot of upper class, scholarly types. It's interrupted by a woman who's some kind of monster I'm familiar with, delivering a hostile message to me and leaving again. She frightened most of the people into backing away. I'm thinking, although these things are hostile and my automatic reaction to them is equally hostile, they only exist because of my "tainted blood," which was what originally created her kind, generations back; thinking about that, there's a shift in attitude, I start to pity them. They're essentially my responsibility, though they're not aware of it.

I had a short--but interesting-- lucid dream this morning.

I had done an unintentional Wake Back to Bed--meaning that I woke up at 2:45 and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to use this to try for a lucid dream. I took me a while, but I finally drifted back to sleep, my mind thinking about lucid dreaming.

I remember being on a train, which seemed more like a roller coaster, as it winded up and down through a beautiful city. In the front of the Train I saw Tom DeLonge standing and entertaining the people around him. I don't remember what he was doing exactly, but people were laughing and enjoying it. I was envious that I wasn't closer. Finally the train stopped. I wanted to go on it again, but I was with a group of people that didn't want to. I reluctantly walked away.

The next thing I know is that I'm on this mountain. It was full of streams and waterfalls. It was pretty much like another amusement park ride. I was with my friend Sherri and were were slipping down these channels of water. We were having a good time. At one point I saw this area that I wanted to get to, but it was too high. I had somehow seen it from another angle and it was a beautiful blue pool. After more slipping and sliding, I again saw the area that had the blue pool. We were somehow above it now, but the only way in was to drop about 20 feet down a waterfall. We knew we couldn't do that so we turned around and came the way we went. We were shocked to find that that way also dropped steeply into a tall waterfall.

As we came to the edge, I grabbed a large rock that was jutting out. I caught us right before we would have plummeted below. I saw that the water below us was quite shallow, and that it would have injured us if we had fallen in that rocky shallow pool. As I clung to the rocks I wondered what I was supposed to do now. I couldn't go down, but there was no way to pull both of us upward at this point.

Before I got too panicked, I suddenly thought I might be dreaming. In that instant I knew that was true. I told Sherri that we were dreaming, and that I was going to let go, and we could fly.

I grabbed her around the waist just in case she couldn't fly. Even though this was a dream I wanted to take care of my friend. As I let go I started to fly up into the air, but then the weight of my friend started pulling me down. We gently fell back into the shallow pool below. I stood up. I told Sherri that she could fly if she wanted to. I started flying again.

I flew back to the top of the waterfall. I knew that if I followed the water back I would end up in that beautiful blue pool. I was really drawn to that area. I had to see it up close. I realized Sherri wasn't following me, but decided that it didn't matter.

I flew up and over the ridge and down the stream to where the blue pool was. I looked at it, soaking in its beauty. I then noticed in the water there looked to be a body. I had to pull it out. I dove down and grabbed it. The body was in an open box that reminded me of a coffin. I pulled both the body and the box out. I propped them up against a large rock.

Now that we were back out of the water I looked closer at the body. To my surprise, I saw that it was Tom DeLonge. His body lay, still, in the box. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt with faded white writing on it and dark colored pants, and his brown hair was dripping down on his white face.

How could this be? Tom couldn't be dead. But I reminded myself that this was a dream. I could bring him back to life.

I looked at his face again and concentrated. After a moment, I heard him suck in a breath of air. I felt a wave a relief. Then his eyes started to flutter open. He looked dazed for a minute, then focused on me. I waited.

Then, to my surprise, his arms reached out and grabbed me and pulled me against him. He pulled my face close and I felt his lips on mine as he started to kiss me. I couldn't help but kiss him back.

I briefly thought about breaking away from the kiss, so I could create my halo. I also thought that maybe Tom would like to see his halo as well. But, like how it is with most dream kisses, I was drifting into a deep bliss. I knew there was no way to stop it. All thoughts of doing anything else vanished, and I completely gave in to the kiss.

Ritual: I went to bed around midnight, but the knowledge that I had to wake up earlier than usual this morning, at 7am, created a subtle anxiety that woke me up at 4:30am and made it hard to sleep afterwards. The natural insomnia created good conditions for lucidity, and I woke up at 6:30am after this dream.

DILD: Since I was lying in bed mostly awake for a couple hours, I had already gotten up several times to use the bathroom. This seemed like another one of those times, but an odd detail caught my eye. There was a steel mesh frame surrounding the toilet paper roll and someone had left a lot of used cotton balls in it. They were stained on one side with a color like Betadine. I assumed my husband must have left them there, and wondered what he had been using them for.

On some level I suspected that there was something wrong with this scenario and decided to RC. I braced one hand on the bathroom counter and the other on the towel rack, and tried to lift myself. My body lifted effortlessly off the ground with no real muscular exertion, which made me suspect I must be dreaming. (The fact that the bathroom did not correspond to its WL layout was something I failed to notice, as usual.) I checked again, with the same results, and then to be sure, I tried the same stunt without using my arms at all—that is, levitating. Upon levitating successfully, I was confident that this was the dream state.

It's so gratifying to get unintentional LDs! But one isn't always prepared with a task. I felt an impulse to go outside, so I went back out to the bedroom and quickly exited through the screen door. Immediately I noticed a destabilization of my vision. Experience reminded me not to fret, just relax and let images suggest themselves, the problem should straighten itself out. Sure enough, a moment later I started to notice colors, then the colors organized themselves into geometry, and before long they had resolved into a new scene: I was looking at a large stack of different colored shipping containers.

I realized that the deck I was standing on overlooked a great harbor. There was water on all sides, and my house was apparently on some tall island in the middle. I was surprised by the number of ships that I could see moving to and fro. They came in all sizes, everything from large cargo ships to little tugboats, all looking very industrious. There were so many ships that I wondered if the place I was in lacked air transport entirely: I didn't see any planes flying at first, but a moment later, perhaps summoned by my thoughts, a helicopter veered very close overhead.

I decided that I should do something useful as long as I was in the dream state, and tried to remember this month's tasks. Eating a moon rock leaped to mind. Okay, how should I do that? I didn't feel like shifting scenes just yet, actually traveling to outer space. I thought, well, maybe a rocket could land nearby and an astronaut could get out and present me with the moon rock. It sounded like a good strategy but I was not strongly motivated to try it, so I tabled the idea.

As I was contemplating the possibilities, I heard music from nearby, and noticed a miniature stage on one edge of the deck. This reminded me of one of the other TOTMs, attending a concert. Well, here are some creatures playing music in public, that might count. I call them "creatures" because the music was being played by what looked like muppets, only a foot or two in height. The initial music sounded like a piano, and a female muppet was playing it, but her fingers were moving over a clear plastic stand, with no visible keys. I thought she resembled what I can only describe as the "hippie girl muppet," but googling that now, it seems to be a good search term and reveals that the name of the muppet in question (in WL, anyway) was "Janice."

After her piano solo ended, a male muppet to her right began playing guitar. This muppet resembled Fozzie Bear, and and was singing as he played. I listened closely to the lyrics and did my best to remember them. As usual in deep dream, I was impressed how easily the rhymes came—though of course on waking, it was hard to remember the lyrics clearly.

The first rhyme involved the phrase "...how we live," which later rhymed with "...give." There was another stanza that I couldn't remember at all by the time I was writing my report. I have a slightly clearer memory of the third stanza, apart from the absent first line:

...
...and I'll let you do the rest,
Because you know Amos and Andy
And can put them to the test."

After that, the muppet went into a refrain of:

Can you help me?
Stranger, can you help me?

The lines may sound plaintive in plain text, but they were a little more jazzy the way they were sung. I was listening to the song and smiling down fondly at the muppet. I felt that "Amos and Andy" was a phrase I had heard before... was it related to cookies? Or an old TV show? I was certainly willing to offer help, if it was needed, but a moment later I woke up.

Note: Googling now, I see that "Amos and Andy" was originally a radio show in the 1920s, later moved to television, and lasted until the 1950s. I have no idea why my subconcious dredged this up! I must have thought of cookies because of the similarity to the brand name "Famous Amos."

Setting loosely based on China some centuries ago, vaguely Ming dynasty. Two men have been speaking to a human woman about a book, but they're interrupted by a human man who is a friend of hers, of sorts - he offers to join their expedition. He has some manner of expertise to do with this book they're looking for, and if he comes along, the woman's presence would be unnecessary. The leader of the two at first is ready to agree, this would be much preferable.

But the human man then says, why should his cut be only 10%? Make it 100% - he'll keep the book himself, but translate it for them. To his mind, this would be a better deal for all of them, he expects this to be accepted. But the leader of the two is offended by his presumption and kills him, abandoning his human appearance in the process - his eyes are covered by a cloudy grey film, his teeth are fangs on both upper and lower jaws. I'm remembering a year earlier, when that human man had been doing something in a place where many books were stored, directly above where this man had been sleeping in the ground for a long time. The human woman, watching him kill her friend, blames herself - she was involved in something that happened in a market a year ago, when this man woke up.

Belle is in the kitchen of someone else's house, someplace that has servant quarters, and she's found a jar of a certain weed that's been spilled - it's not something that should be used for cooking, it's dangerous, causes disfigurement. The implication in finding it spilled across the counter is that a servant was carelessly exposed to it. It's said that it only affects those who say rude/cruel/insulting things while holding it - a physical disfigurement to reflect a disfigurement of the soul. She calls Rumplestiltskin to dispose of it safely, and to look into what it was doing there.

As he removes it, he looks around the building and sees old photos and negatives of him and Belle among various trophies that the owner of the house has collected - there's a sense that these photos are things that were stolen from him. He looks at one in particular, a moment when he'd stopped Belle from saying that she loved him. He regrets this, and says he would listen now. She says, "I would have meant it then." And wouldn't now, is the implication. But she stops him from moving away from her by grabbing him roughly by the hair.

She tells him her plan is to find her ideal world this time, with the money that Regina left her, and with him, as they're stuck together due to a previous deal. He reminds her that he's no longer capable of appearing human, which will cause difficulties in many other worlds. "I'll work with it," she says. A previous deal requires him to leave at least a piece of himself in this current world, and I see an image of his hand chained to the sand, in the surf.

8.15.14

Yesterday during my 2pm - sleep

Vivid
I'm looking out my parents bedroom window. Its at night but the moon and I think snow on the ground makes it almost bright outside. I'm looking at the young forest just across the narrow street. There are short 5-7 ft tall evergreens (in reality they are not evergreens). I imagine that with that strong moonlight and trees being not too close to each other I could see anything walking between them.

And ofc I start to see some animals. They are large, walking from right to the left, they keep appearing and disappearing between the trees. I think they are deer and they start jumping like african gazelle. It's all happening in total quietness, just a moonlight and the animals. It's eerie. Then the animals turn and start slowly walking towards me and to the right. Now I think they are tall and hairy lamas. And wooly mamuth are following them. I don't think those are elephants because of the fur. I'm kinda surprised.

Mow I'm on the bank of the river where I used to play as a child. I watch some animals in the water. They are goat. They get out on the other bank and some of the bank is sheer rockface. One of the goats is trying to walk on it and I see every detail of their body, hooves, the wet footsteps the goat is making and details of the rockface. The goat starts to slide down but all is ok, they are used to that.

Ritual: It's been over a month since I've done any deliberate dream practice, due to a combination of low motivation and being really busy in WL, so this morning I woke up early to feed the cats and decided to turn it into a WBTB. To reinforce my intention, I took a very small amount (2mg) of galantamine, backed up with alpha-gpc and l-theanine. I lay on my back and tried to concentrate on my intention to get lucid, but my focus was almost completely lacking, and eventually I dozed off only to be startled awake by my own snoring. I turned on my side and fell asleep without any further efforts.

I am in a store that specializes in custom-made, artisanal candy and chocolates. There is a table covered with samples, and I am surprised to see one set labeled with the names of my dad and a cousin, apparently commissioned by them for some event. It consists of three types of chocolate meant to be dipped into three different flavored creams. I want to try all three, but there is only one sample of each flavor and I am competing for them with other customers, so I miss out on one or two.

My disappointment is eased when the lady proprietor brings out more samples, but these turn out to be biscuits and candy, rather than the chocolates on the first table. Still, they are very appealing in all their colors and textures, and I am standing over the table unapologetically sampling one thing after another when I feel a strange tremor in the floor. The motion becomes more intense, and the other customers start to panic because they think it is an earthquake, but I recognize that it is a different kind of motion. It doesn't feel like the ground is shaking under the building, but rather like the building itself is sliding over the ground, which is of course impossible, unless...

"Don't worry, everybody!" I say authoritatively. "This is a dream." I open the front door to see if I was right about the movement, and sure enough, the whole building is sliding sideways through a forest at great speed. While I wait for our journey to end, I continue munching confections: I was particularly enjoying one fennel-flavored cookie shaped like twining leaves and tinted delicately green. Recalling that I was planning to resume my diet tomorrow in waking life, I figured I should take advantage of this opportunity to stuff my face with calorie-free dream food!

The building eventually came to a halt, and I went outside to explore the new environment. I recall it was now an urban area, but some of the transitional details are vague. Somehow I met up with my husband and another guy, no one I recognized, and we drove through the city in a really nice convertible sportscar (modeled on the picture of the BMW i8 he showed me last night in WL). I think we were going to see a movie but maybe it wasn't showing (I don't remember watching one) so we went back out to get the car. It was parked some distance away, so to retrieve it faster, I concentrated on making it drive itself back to us, and to speed things up even more, I had it fly through the air.

"Thank you, robot valet," I said, as the car gently landed in front of us at the curb. My husband got in the driver's seat, and I got into the back again, but when the DC squeezed into some weird sidecar niche, I climbed over to take the passenger seat. For some reason the car had a British layout, so the driver sat on the right with the passenger seat to the left.

Since I had demonstrated that the car could fly, we took off directly into the air to avoid street traffic. However, our flight path didn't feel stable: we were getting buffeted in strange ways. I pointed out that while this car was incredibly aerodynamic on the ground, it was not designed for flying: a sturdy little pod would be better for this purpose. We dropped back down to the pavement and now the car performed beautifully, hugging the ground with impressive traction even though the streets were wet, and roaring forward at incredible speed.

"Where are we going?" I asked. Even though I wasn't in the driver's seat, as the dreamer I felt like I was actually the one steering. My husband said he wanted to pick up some things from the Hall of Records, and helped me locate the building. Inside, it turned out he was retrieving some parcels that had been mailed to him. He mentioned that one package was three days late, because the sender had needed to mail out a movie script first. "Why didn't he just bring them both to the post office at the same time?" I asked, to which there was no satisfactory answer. The parcels contained research materials, and now that my husband had them in hand, he wanted to do some work. "Okay, you work," I said. "I need to go do something."

I had remained partly lucid the whole time, but I had been enjoying the dream enough to let the narrative play out. Now that things were wrapping up, I remembered that I had planned to catch a fish for the TOTMs. I went around behind the building and conveniently found a stream flowing by. The water was shallow and crystal clear, so I peered in to see if I could spot any fish. What I actually saw swimming underwater were... kittens!

"Actually this will make things easier," I reflected. Now I wouldn't need to bother with a fishing rod, hook, and bait. Kittens were much easier to catch! I dangled a length of ribbon over the water until a kitten surfaced and started batting at it, then lured it closer to me until I could scoop it right up in my arms. I concluded that the creature I had caught was a "catbird fish" (I'm not sure why it wasn't just a "catfish," but this was the term that seemed right at the time) and knew I should examine it closely so that I could write a clear description in my report.

Once I was holding the animal, it was no longer the size of a tiny kitten but had swelled into a plump armful. It was no longer quite cat-shaped, either: now looked more like a stuffed animal with the bodily proportions of a totoro: big rounded torso and very short arms and legs. Although my "catbird fish" didn't physically resemble a fish, I sensed that there was something fishlike about its bones, even if I couldn't see them.

I studied the head first, which was still cartoonishly cat-like overall, but with significant differences. The mouth was very unusual: more narrow and vertical than that of a real cat, almost beaklike the way it protruded, but with large exposed teeth. There were two large incisors on the top and bottom, but both sets of incisors were adjacent to one another in the center, more like those of a rat than a cat, but wider and flatter.

After studying the mouth closely, I looked back up and saw that the round, wideset eyes were now completely white. I recalled noticing normal pupils before and wondered if they were rolled back in the head. Just when I was thinking that the creature was starting to look a bit scary, with its weird mouth and whitened eyes, suddenly it spoke up in a very friendly voice: "Hello!" I responded in kind, smiled at it, and continued my examination.

It had the fur of a cat, brown tabby stripes with patches of white here and there: a white triangle on the throat and chest, a little white on the belly, and white gloves. I checked and determined that all four paws were white. After looking over the creature thoroughly, I returned the "catbird fish" to the stream.

The environment had shifted around me: the stream was no longer outside, but occupied a room in a building that had put together exhibits pertaining to different countries. I wondered which country had supplied my "catbird fish," and looked around until I saw the words "This is Canada," inscribed under the surface of the stream. I wondered what other countries were being exhibited—somehow I knew there were supposed to be five of them—and if I could find any rooms with bodies of water suitable for fishing. It would be cool to catch dream fish from several different countries!

I wandered around the building looking for the other exhibits, but to my disappointment, all the others were closed. I went to the front desk to ask about this, and became even more incensed when I noticed a sign informing me that the price of admission was $898.99. I complained angrily to the desk clerk: how could they justify charging so much when only one of the five exhibits was even open?! He simply pointed me to a second sign, which listed a complicated set of refunds that reduced the price of admission to only $1.25.

"Oh, alright then." I figured $1.25 was a reasonable fee for the one exhibit I had seen, and was willing to pay. I had a bunch of change in my left hand, and started trying to count out five quarters into my right palm. The first few attempts inexplicably failed due to the shifting numbers and appearances of the coins. "This is really hard to do in a dream," I commented, and wondered if it would be easier if, instead of trying to shift the correct number of coins from left hand to right, I put them directly down on the desk as I counted.

I started making a little pile of quarters, but had only counted out two before coins that had initially resembled quarters turned out to be square when I set them down, and I had to start a separate pile for them. The third round, quarter-sized coin that I managed to produce had a square hole in the center like those old Chinese coins, and the fourth one had three triangular holes, but by this point I realized that this would never get done if I was too much of a perfectionist. All I needed was one more vaguely quarter-shaped coin to complete my stack of five, but suddenly all the ones still in my hand appeared to be the wrong shape and size. I picked something arbitrarily to finish the stack. I was well aware of the irony of going to so much effort to pay for something in a dream, but since it was so unexpectedly challenging, I felt that it would be a good exercise to try to see it through!

Last night I dreamed of fish in all shapes and sizes. I found some old aquariums that I had been neglecting: there were just a few inches of water in the bottom, and I worried that the fish might be close to suffocating. Worse still, on a shelf next to another aquarium I found two koi, one orange and one silver, that had completely dried out. I recalled making the discovery that they were happy living outside the tank for a few hours every day, but then one day I forgot to put them back in. That must have been months ago. Now the fish were completely hard and dry and basically mummified, and I realized guiltily that they were probably past reviving.

I also had two very large fish, so big that if I kept them in my own tank, they would fill it completely and not have any room to swim. I decided to take them to the public aquarium, which had a room-sized tank that would give them plenty of space. They were each so big—around four or five feet long—that I needed a friend to help carry them, and we would have to make two separate trips. One of the fish was called a "Blue Rangit," with beautiful azure scales and long elegant reddish fins. The second was a plainer, silvery-tan fish called an "Alaskan Battlecod."

As my friend and I carried the Blue Rangit through the city streets, a man on a motorcycle drove by and tried to grab it from us. He didn't succeed in getting it away from us, but a moment later, my friend noticed him talking to a female police officer. The cop then came over and accused us of stealing the fish from the man! Apparently that's the story he told her, and for some reason she was completely convinced by it.

I tried to explain the situation, pointing out that the guy probably doesn't even know anything about the fish. Does he even know it is called a Blue Rangit? Well maybe he does, and that's why he's trying to steal it—they're quite rare—but does he even know what it's used for? I told her to go back and question him about it, and she would probably find him ignorant about the true nature of the fish. To make sure that the officer was well-informed when she did the questioning, so that she wouldn't fall for more of that man's lies, I explained that the Blue Rangit was used for lucid dreaming, and my other fish, the Alaskan Battlecod, was used for lucid dreaming and fish battles.

I went on to tell the officer how I didn't have enough space for these fish in my aquarium at home, so I was taking them to the public aquarium. At this point she started telling me that I wasn't allowed to do that, and I woke up.

Note: I don't have any fish in WL, but I suspect that I dreamed about them because this month's fish TOTM is the one I've been planning to work on first. It's cool how the dream was almost encouraging me to get lucid by connecting the fish with the idea of lucidity, but somehow I failed to completely pick up on this even as the words were coming out of my mouth!

I got up at 3:15 and tried for a WILD. I laid there and laid there and felt the time pass and pass...until I finally saw the sky outside my window brighten. I was pretty discouraged. But this was the first morning in a long time where I was going to be able to sleep in. I finally decided that if I kept trying for a WILD, I would just stay awake. So I decided to just get into the most comfortable position and just try to sleep and hope for a DILD. I often have that happen when I can't WILD.

As I was drifting off, I heard my dog barking. It was making me angry, because I really needed to go to sleep and not be bothered by barking. I finally got up and went outside. I was surprised to see that there were at least 6 other dogs that had gotten into the back yard. No wonder my dog had been barking. But when I looked for him I couldn't see him among the other dogs. Suddenly the yard was full of kids and teenagers. They helped me get the dogs out of the yard and would help me find my dog. As we went down the road I saw the that number of dogs had increased to about a dozen or so.

Something about this wasn't right. And really, who were these people I was with? Could I be dreaming? It suddenly seemed much more likely that I was dreaming then walking down the road with all these random dogs and people. I took a jump up....and continued to fly.

Yes!

I very quickly remembered my goal of practicing all my bending skills. I flew to a big tree and sat on a large branch. I cupped my hands in front of me and concentrated on making fire. At first nothing happened. I wasn't too worried because fire is the easiest one for me, and I have had quite a lot of practice over the years at creating fire. So I continued to concentrate and soon saw little heat waves coming up off my hands. With a little more concentration I saw a little fire form within my cupped hands. That was good enough for me. I wanted to move on to water.

I looked at my hands. The fire slowly faded away and in it's place I saw that my hands were filled with water. That was easier than I thought it could be. I have only one memory of water bending in all my lucid dreams and that was years ago--and that cup of water had already been on the table. So I was thrilled that the water just came to be. Now for the next part. I concentrated again on the small pool of water in my hands. Soon I saw a section of water start to snake up. I pulled it with my mind and made it twist and turn. I finally made it head to my mouth where I drank it all down (that had been my plan all along--and it was quite satisfying--the more interaction with the water, the better, I say). I then saw Jeff next to me. He said he was hot. I filled my hands with water again, and this time focused on it until it became ice. It was not quite solid, still kind of slushy, but still intact enough for me to pick it up with one hand and give it to Jeff. He seemed happy with it so I moved on.

I saw that I was in the park next to the airport. I flew over to the fence and saw some small rocks sitting on the fence. I concentrated until those pebbles floated over and into my hands. I then formed a dust devil and those rock went swirling up into the very small dust devil in my hands.

I felt very satisfied that I had been able to do all four elements. At this point I think I had a false awakening. Or I lost lucidity.

I was in what was supposed to be my backyard. I was looking at my tomato plants. I noticed that I had a lot of ripe tomatoes. Many more than I had remembered seeing before. I then noticed that my squash plants were also covered in these big cool looking squash, some orange and other pink with green on one end. As excited as I felt seeing all the squash, part of me started doubting. Again, I decided that there was more chance of me being in a dream than all these squash suddenly growing in my yard (had I even planted squash this year?). No, I was dreaming again. And that was okay.

I suddenly thought about all the bending I had just done. I wasn't quite finished. I wanted to make a bigger dust devil. I concentrated on the ground in front of me and made a 6-7 foot dust devil appear. At first it was just made from random dust and debris. But then I wanted to be creative. I used my mind to lift some reddish colored sand at the base of the dust devil. I watched as it started to swirl slowly up the dust devil. It was so fascinating that I did it again with more sand. Then again. The dust devil had all these swirling stripes, spinning and spinning. I focused again and made the patterns even more complex. It was beautiful, intricate, and so symmetrical. I was in awe.

But then I remembered my next goal which was to summon some new music by Angels and Airwaves. I had been wanting to do this for a while. I hadn't been successful the last time. I hope to be this time. I saw Daniel next to me. I asked him if he had a radio or music player of sorts. He said yes, and pulled out this funny orange and yellow colored box. He pushed a button and music started playing. I told him I needed to hear some Angels and Airwaves...but not just any old Angels and Airwaves, but something new. Something they hadn't created yet. He messed around with it. Several more songs came on, but none of it was what I was looking for. Then the dream faded. And I couldn't get back.

Morning of August 6, 2015. Thursday.



I am with an unknown male though also sense Zsuzsanna is around at one point. I am going with him to an unknown location, though I think it has something to do with recovering certain information on the other side of the river (possibly in a different town). We are both riding bicycles and it vaguely reminds me of riding with Kenneth W or James M at a distance (out of town or on the other side of town) that eventually seems too far, though my bicycle is functioning normally. There was another schoolmate that used to go with me most of the way home (only for a month or two), though oddly, I do not recall his name (one of the only names I had forgotten in my lifetime, in fact) and this may be the character I am thinking of. It seems fairly late at night and I can just barely make out land features.

We reach a bridge over water and cross it about halfway and I soon see it is slightly inclined to where it goes down into the water, submerged from there. This surprises me, as I thought the other male knew where he was going, though now it seems he is gone (or perhaps somehow already got to the other side). I am trying to remember if he did get to the other side (with a brief impression that he was in the water for a short time). I am not sure what to do. I am not sure if I should ride my bicycle over the surface of the water, ride in while half-submerged (with the bicycle wheels half-submerged as I cross the river) or just keep going and see what happens (though I do not really want to ride completely underwater). My dilemma causes my dream to slowly fade. I have had numerous similar dreams of partly submerged bridges and docks throughout my life since childhood. I suspect it directly relates to the waking process or state of consciousness itself as many other in-dream predicaments do (for example, a car crash may solely metaphorically represent the waking process and the termination of the temporary dream-self).

I might as well include another non-lucid dream with this entry since there is not that much to it. Caution: Violence at end. Skip to avoid.

I am shopping in a store I buy food at in real life, though it is quite different. I am looking in a very large freezer (much deeper than in reality - and it seemingly has no shelves) where there are mostly meat pie packages and a few other frozen items. I hold the glass door open for awhile and am somewhat annoyed as there is not that much food in normal packaging in the entire freezer (which is nearly the entire length of the aisle). What little items there are, are sitting on large cardboard boxes (I assume they are unopened stock) and there are also a few smaller boxes on top (a couple being open) and I contemplate getting out whatever I need as I thus far only have one meat pie package (probably containing about four to six meat pies). There are only a few loose items strewn about the top of the stack that I want to look at or perhaps buy.

I then see that there are three people on the other side of the boxes who are standing within the larger freezer area itself, the boxes of which are at least three rows deep and stacked to above the waist. There are two females and a male and at least two of them have clipboards and appear to be taking some sort of inventory. They are a bit to the left. I reach over to the right and move a couple smaller lighter boxes to get to another product, which may be the only one left.

“Why don’t you go somewhere else instead of f–king around here?” asks the male (who may be the store’s manager), sounding very annoyed. This surprises me because I am a customer in a grocery store just trying to reach a product. I inform the man that I am leaving (and I do) and that I will make sure none of my friends or family ever shop there again. (In real life, I no longer shop in the grocery store that absurdly promotes self-service through the cramped and problematic small self-service section with a trolley-full of groceries while the cashiers just stand around gawking as all the normal checkouts are blocked off.)

From here, I walk home (rather than continuing to do any shopping elsewhere), though the location and building is not that familiar, yet I know I live there with my family. It vaguely reminds me of some sort of unlikely composite of Duffy Street (Australia) and Arcadia’s North Monroe (where I have not lived since early 1968). There are many young people running around randomly in the front yard, perhaps involved in some sort of game (like informal soccer) or party, though there does not seem to be any order to any of it and some of them seem to be wearing very strange and random outfits. It may be some sort of high school or college event, such as a semester break (though I do not know why they picked this area as they obviously do not all live in the area).

As I decide to go around and enter my home through the back of the building to avoid collision or confrontation with what may be a chaotic group of addled college or high school students, a (unfamiliar and unknown) girl who seems friendly joins me. We walk to an area near the back of my apartment building (which at this point looks a bit like the apartment building across the yard from where I lived at North Monroe). The back of my building has a door to enter the premises (at about the middle of the walkway from where we are), though directly to my right seems to be another tall building so that it is like looking into a narrow alleyway. There are several boulders and large rocks within the alleyway which are blocking my way to the door (though realistically, it would be ridiculous to assume someone or even several people put them there by hand). “Who did this? How are people supposed to get into their apartment?” I ask the girl (who is standing to my left) angrily. The girl leads me to the other side of the building where the rocks are now mysteriously gone just from looking through the opposite side of the alleyway.

From here, we get to the back entrance where there is a screen door. A tall young unfamiliar male (though he seems almost thirty when I look again even though I first get the impression he might be a college football player) comes out asking “How are you doing, dad?” as if with mindless sarcasm related to my age (and I am at my own home after all and I assume he is not supposed to be there). At this point, I am annoyed, as I reach semi-lucidity and the waking stage at the same time. In previous dreams I used to shoot every annoying character during the waking process. This time I pull out a large knife and effectively run it across his throat as I wake.

This last part was strongly influenced by the “Secrets and Lies” television miniseries filmed where we used to live (where the father goes to get his oldest daughter and is insulted and pushed and told to leave by the younger male as if he had no right to look after his own children), where the little girl turns out to be the clever criminal and killer rather than the suspicious adult males or other characters. Sorry for giving it away but at least I spared you the misery of watching it. And yes, it was supposed to be a serious detective show.

#458 - DILD - 12:27AM

Wurlman visits. This never happens, but I'm sure its not a dream. I nose plug out of good practice. I have a hard time believing.

I am in hovering in the sky in some sort of Minecraft world. I see pixelated trees and cliff down to an ocean. Although I am high in the sky, I seem to be walking on a solid surface. I turn, look up, and see Wurlman next to me. I am now in a bedroom of my house though the floor still opens up to Minecraft. We start a conversation that I only recall bits of. I jokingly ask Wurlman, "What have you been doing? Jerking off in my parents bed?"
We both laugh at this and he makes some reply. We then start talking about lucid dreaming for a while.

I suddenly realize that we always talk of meeting and hanging out, but never have. I decide to make note of it.
I say, "Hold on. Now that we are together we should make sure this isn't actually a dream." I feel certain this isn't a dream, but decide it's just good practice to follow through with it. I do a quick nose plug and to my amazement I blow through. Oh wait. What? I nose plug several more times becoming more and more stunned that I am actually blowing through. After a moment, I fully accept this is indeed a dream. I tell Wurlman about it, but at that moment the dream break up and fades to black. I forget to notice this is merely a bardo nor do I remember to try to DEILD.

Time?

I am a baseball star. I am the teams all star hitter. We practice and I since no one wants to pitch to me I toss one up myself and smash it. A player throws back, but I can catch it. Now I completely have a hard time with any hand-eye coordination. The coach comes out to talk to us.

#459 - DILD - 2:25AM

I feel that I have been lucid a long time as I wonder around the dream environment. I lose some lucidity and play with a large bubble of water that causes a gigantic flood.

I forget the begging of this dream, but I recall being lucid and yelling something rude at someone through a window. I feel bad for a second then think, It's ok. This is MY dream. I shout, "THIS! IS! MY! DREEEAAAAMMMMM!" I think that I have been lucid for a really long time and I am amazed by it. I have no real goal at the moment and just wander around the dream environment.

My lucidity drops a lot, but I have some general sense that this is a dream. I find myself still outside next to some shed in a wooded area on a hill. There is a bush and a tree with a huge bubble of water attached to it. I poke at it and it flexes and bounces a bit like jello. I then smooth my hand over one side allowing the water to flow with it. This unleashes a torrent of water as if the hillside is at it's very peak of capacity and I put it all out of balance. I expect to feel wet for a second, then realize that I shouldn't. Although I have a feeling it doesn't matter, I still take my phone out of my pocket and hold it up out of the water to protect it from getting damaged. I ride waves down a massive hill into a small village. I feel butterflies in my stomach from the strong sense of falling. I shout, "Look out everyone water is coming! It's a tidal wave!" After I say this, I see another massive wave of water converging on my location. I am quickly washed farther down hill then land in a dry area near a metal shed with a garage door. I still have momentum and I slide through the doorway with some tall, bald, and muscular man. I immediately try to leave, but the man shuts the door. I am confused what has happened and have lost all lucidity now. I feel out of place here and try to push past the man, but a woman barges in the door. I try to slide past them, but they just block my way. The man and woman argue over something and the man says, "No. I have a visitor. See?"
I make a hand gesture signalling that I just mean to leave, but the man is very insistent that I stay and not blow the lie.
He goes on, "We are talking about weed and stuff." I ignore all of this and continue to search for a way out. I wake up.

5:44AM

I am to be executed by electrocution. I tell another prisoner that I don't care. They can't kill me. In fact, it will only make me stronger. I know that if they kill me here, I will come back as a god. I will enter into the internet and control everything like some all powerful AI. I do note that this is hurt very bad and be very scary. I tell myself to think of it like I am having an OBE and to slip out of my body into the network.

I am led away into the public execution area before a crowd. The man with a mic asks me if I am Jesus Christ. I tell him, "Some say this is true, but I do not." The crowd erupts into an uproar and the man belly laughs. I fell no shame only trepidation. However, I bodily step on the stage waiting for it to all go down. I actually laugh with the man and make some joke of my own. I wake up.

I'm in the living room and everything inside looks dim as if no sunlight was out. I then teleport and I find myself outside not too far from the house. I got off from the ground and see the sky is murky green. I began figuring I must be dreaming and scan the entire area to see some oddities. However not long the scene changes taking my lucidity a long with it.

After a couple of other dreams I appear in my father room. The bed was not in it's usual spot and was instead hanged on the wall. Look very interesting to sleep like this, as I climbed on to it I soon discover that the bed had holes on the other side that would've made me fall. I take all the blankets off one side of the bed to confirm that only one side has holes and the other did not. The scene changes and I am place in a broken down building with another person that looks like a Tekken character.

The water felt more heavy and my line of sight had this window in front of it. This made it difficult to see, I become lucid due to this and tried to remove it. I ended up opening the window which made everything look half and half. The character started becoming bugged and appear to have 3 look a likes. None of them were moving and before I could build up more awareness in the dream I wake up. Lucidity Time: 14 seconds

I recall only one, weird and convulted fragment. I was in the toilet of my house. When I finished using it, the toilet seat started to fill itself with water, which slowly started to flow out of it. I felt the water touching my feet, and I saw that I have no shoes on. I went to find my shoes, which were outside my house, swimming in the sewage waste flowing out of toilet window. I got them and went back to house, so I could clean them. Everything started to look weirdly stretched, but it wasn't a change in the world. I saw that my neck is getting weirdly stretched back.

I'd been looking at a map showing three islands that had been conquered by someone else; I'm unconcerned about the islands themselves but am considering their influence over the surrounding sea routes.

Now standing on the deck of a ship, I'm speaking to a military leader from another ship, part of the group that conquered those islands - he's a passenger, not the ship's captain. He addresses me as Enchanter, which amuses me. I express my surprise that he's willing to deal with me if he recognizes what I am - I was under the impression that his people thought of my kind as demons. Isn't he worried that he's risking corruption with this conversation?

He indicates that many of his attitudes have changed since coming to this region. He describes how he'd arrived with four of my kind sealed on his ship; while on the central island, they'd broken free and in doing so, as he puts it, "bound themselves to the chains of ghosts." It's a reference to the past of that island - once they were no longer sealed away, they became entangled with local legends, automatically embodying the locals' beliefs. The way this man sees it, they are no longer themselves - by breaking free of their seals and into this world, they've trapped themselves in these roles, living out ancient history. He sees this as a negative thing. I don't. It's the way we work.

This dream had an incredible scene. I was by the waters of the Pacific Northwest Unites States by the water. I think I was in a cove or maybe by a saltwater "river". The clouds would roll in and out making it sunny or cloudy at any given moment. The landscape was beautiful pine forests with a sandy shore in some places and rocky in others. the water was slightly stained. I was in a small cove when I spotted a pod of orca milling(playing) in the area. I got so excited I almost jumped. There was a raised wooden viewing platform and I immediately went over to it to get a better view. On my way up the stairs an orca was splashing enough water to send some of it over to me as i climbed the stairs. It was a spectacular sight looking out. Watching this family of orca swimming, playing, and socializing with each other. The family bonds so obviously strong in this pod. Most of the orca swam down river but one decided to stay, I think maybe for me. It played around right in front of the stand as if to show me some things. It was a massive orca, the biggest of all the family rolling on its back and sending water everywhere with powerful inverted tail lobs slapping the water with powerful force. I wanted to go see the whole family and I began to walk down river to where they had begun playing again. Walking down the rocky part of the beach I looked out over the water. I could not believe where I was. As i got to the sandy side of the beach I also was in the forest now by the water. Two adult orca were laying in the sand looking across the water. I walked up in between the two and they both looked back at me. I was slightly nervous being near there tail knowing one blow could knock me unconscious. I got near there mid sections and petted them both at once but they rejected it and slid back into the water. With my confidence hurt I went to the waters edge where a smaller one was playing by the shore. I reached down to pet it but it quickly made an effort to swim away. Now I was getting a little disheartened until finally a small calf swam over to me, excited to see me. It rolled around and let me pet it for a bit. We looked right in each others eyes and all I saw was joy, playfulness, and curiosity. It was not afraid. I was over-joyed with finally getting to interact with one. I understand this is never my choice, the orca will always determine whether or not they want to interact with people an i have no choice but to respect their decisions; but i'm glad the calf gave me a chance to interact with it, I feel honored. It swam away back to its family and I watched a little bit longer. Sad they were all leaving but happy I got to see them. That was the last I saw them.

July 1st - I was in my office with my tutor (internships) . And there was something to do or wait, and then they say we have to restore everything from some data. There was candy. And then it was another friend and chat about internships.

July 3rd - Somethng with my USB cable ( i lost it in WL). I found it and grab it.

I have to say, between those dreams, i was very stressed and sick.

July 5th - I apparead in a subway, but before that i was in my university, we were in a class room and said that a student gets beat up . and then show us a video where 3 guys showed up hit him on a play park. I am in the airport and the 3 guys showed up with 2 bats and a knife, i can fight with 2 but the third one stabs me in the stomach and i ran. i get a call from my aunt saying that i have to finish my market report (WL im doing one), i found myself ina subway again and the 3 guys showedup again. I can beat them but they are made from water¿, i pass the subway and enter in the wagon rail, suddenly there was a wagon full of water or made of water that if i touch i die¿ . I inform the station and we enter on a weapon room with schwaznegger and the rock¿ and get arms to beat them, i manage to beat the lider, same with the others and wake up.

July 6th - I was in a mall and we are going to eat pizza, walk to a hallway full of people and they were selling sutff . I thnk that i had my own store. ate a pizza in a closed pizza store.

Something about coakrches, or a world full of coackroches.

All of this non - lucid