false awakening

So, I'm in my room. A dream one that's a little off but dream me does not notice that. It's in first person. Outside of my window I see the sky with clouds floating below me, I'm pretty high up I guess. (something happened to get here but I don't remember it.) The sky shifts into a dark, bloody crimson and starts storming as in my room blood akin to Silent Hill wall textures starts appearing on my walls. This is a strange start already. Me, considerably confused, feels it is best for me to immediately take out a weapon. It's an old iron flail mace. I can control the chain too, or at least I could handle it much easier. The main event comes and a stone face with the expression of one of those sad theatre masks comes out of the wall and glows. I knew in my dream mind that something was coming and prepared, it was a sort of boss rush in a video game but for me in reality. I couldn't see who was saying it, but a crowd of people chanted "FIIIIGHT!!! KIIIILL!!!" in my mind over and over, which pumped me up.

Out of the face and into my room came swarthy hoards of these humanoid beasts ripped out of uncanny valley, things that looked human but weren't quite to downright a new species. Must be bug people like in the waking world lol. Anyways This goes on for a while where I'm fighting these things in my room as they try to kill me, eventually everything just stops. A dead stop, the face goes away, the blood, I'm on ground, and I can't find my mace. But that's okay because what happens next is funnier.

Now for some goddamn reason, Christopher Moltisanti from the goddamn Sopranos of all people just comes into my room and starts lecturing me about standing up for myself and taking initiative. I just killed like 15 eldritch creatures, what more do you want from me asshole??? Anyways though he takes my hand and forces me into a room somewhere. It switched to third person this time so I have no idea where I went. All I know is, here comes the false awakening part, I "woke up".

I "woke up" in the same dream room I was in before, and was wondering what I even did last night. My mouth was bleeding a little. I walk out of my bedroom door and the landscape now transformed into a dense woods which transitioned into a beach side which looked like it was in a secluded area of Japan. It was nighttime. There was a very VERY small village area on the beach, architecture Japanese again. There was a lot of wildlife out there, so it was noisy but a nice kind of noisy. One that fit the tone. I walked into what looked to be a shrine. There was a book placed upon an altar type-thing. I picked it up to read it. It was in a glyphic language, looked like classical Mayan glyphs but I don't know enough of them to make out more than a simple sentence so a lot of them were definitely made up. Dream me could still read them though, and it was a story about a certain character dubbed the "Aztec Wolf". There are basically no wolves in southern Mexico so why it's a wolf I have no idea. Anyways, though, the story read something like this:

There lives a man, name unknown but legends call him the Aztec Wolf. He hunted and killed not for sacrificial or food reasons, but for no reason at all. Many creatures of the forests, rain or not, and deserts were wiped out by the Aztec Wolf's bloodlust. These creatures would be trapped as spirits, and one day they will have their revenge on the Aztec Wolf. When that time comes, the land will go silent, with Ehecatl guiding them on. (Ehecatl is the wind god in Aztec. Why is what's seemingly a Mayan written story using Nahuatl god names? No clue). Wanna hear the scary part now? After reading this, the beach went completely silent. I couldn't see any of the wildlife I previously saw.

There was only a strong breeze coming my way that made any noise. And while I didn't see anything, I felt a presence or more coming after me. At that point I realized... Oh shit......I'M the Aztec Wolf??
(Awesome chase music!)
I ran into the dense woods area and struggled around to get out. I could see civilization on the other side, glimpses of it. I kept clumsily running through the woods, definitely not in the fashion someone nicknamed the AZTEC WOLF would make it through the woodlands. Here comes another complete plot overhaul for the final part of this dream.

I eventually made it to the other side of the forest. Angry animal spirits are no longer after me. Something was really weird about this part, though. It was a small city area much like one in a previous dream, but everything was just white. Plain white. And didn't look natural. I realized pretty quickly this was a digital interpretation of a city, not a real city. Some Silicon Valley roachperson billionaire was talking about all the features of this virtual world over a massive screen that looked bigger than the moon in the sky. I ran to where I thought my house would be, and sure enough it was there. The only thing that was not a plain white in the entire world it seemed. I went in but there was only one room. The dream room. I saw me sleeping in the bed with blood coming out of my mouth.

I woke up. For real this time though. I think.

2022 May 2nd

Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

Some in-line notes.


Dream (Fragmented):

I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

(recall gap)

I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

(The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

(recall gap)

Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


Notes:

- Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

- This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

- I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
-- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
-- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

- The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

- I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

- The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
-- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

- Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

- The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

- The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.

I was in my car checking my phone to see when it would be 1:30 pm to meet up with a group function I was in. I was trying to lower the volume on my phone and noticed it was acting weird. It would go to video's I never click on before and play music on its own. I decided to ignore it and got out of my car once it was 1:30. Outside appeared to be very cloudy as I made my way to the store.

While in the store I was checking certain items out when two people catch my attention. They seem familiar to me in this dream as I do not know them in waking life. They came closer to me to check out the items. Both were quite tall with blonde hair and the taller one was wearing glasses. If I had to make a guess I'd say they are from Irish descent. The taller one and I made eye contact as if we understood this was not our first encounter.

After that they went in to a different section of the supermarket. I started thinking to myself something feels strange. That's when a Youtuber I watch came behind and was staring at me as well. Didn't say anything but just stared and then walk away. That's when I knew something is wrong here and gave my vision a full view of what I was surrounded by. At the front of the supermarket was a man outside unable to get in to the store.

His eyes were complete black as if he was possess with something. I look to him as he begin to say something bad is going to happen and that you need to leave the store. At first seeing him made me feel slightly anxious but it started to all click to me as I began to open the door.

He then lunge at me as soon as the opportunity arrived and I caught his hand and smile. I could feel fear emitting from him as the feeling of lucidity grew more and more from with in me. It felt as if I transfer the feeling I had to him. I pick him up with one arm and started running with him through the door. As I am running with him in my hand , I tell him I am one with everything here and that anything I believe I can do will happen.

I then punch a truck side door as it was in our way. I then jump high up in the air in to the forest. With him still in my hands I look to find a place to meditate as I wanted to progress with my development. Then a bear suddenly comes and attacks me from behind. I told myself again there is no threat, this bear is not capable of causing me harm. Although the pain started to disappear , the bear did succeed in causing me enough distraction to let go of the man and to make me attempt to fly in the air.

It didn't work and I was floating mid air for a few seconds before dropping back to grassy fields. It was nighttime outside so I had a hard time seeing where the bear was but I could feel it was near. That's when I decided now is the right time to do meditation. As I sat down I could hear the bear get closer and attack me again but not too long everything in the environment broke down and I was in a darkness alone with only my awareness.

After 10 seconds of meditating, I felt a different feeling beginning to happen. Enough to make me try to open my eyes but it wasn't working. That's when I felt my body detach from something and was feeling weightless. The same chocking feeling in my neck occur as I struggle to breathe. As I move my body I felt nothing attach to it, I stayed calm and soon the grip around my neck disappeared.

That's when I could feel myself reattaching to my body with no success. I began to worry if I could ever get back in my body because it was taking too long. But once I was fully relax in my mind it happen. I felt a strong pull and felt myself moved up with in my body and then I woke up. I saw my father talking to my mother on the phone as he seemed busy.
I look at my hand to confirm if I was awake or not but then I woke up again.

I was sitting on the sidewalk with a guy eating Chinese food. He was sitting in a chair. I look at him and we share a common nod. Before I begin to day dream which led me to different dream scenarios before I came out of it and was back on the sidewalk sitting with the same guy.

I started thinking it's strange to be day dreaming on the sidewalk and now that I think of it not only did the day dream felt very real but I was somewhere else and was shock to be back here. I then realize I was dreaming as it didn't add up why I would be at the sidewalk eating with a random guy. I turn my attention to him and he gave me the same chilled smile. I fist bump him and we both look in to the distance eating Chinese food.

I started sensing something was off as it suddenly became night time instead of the evening. Immediately a guy drive in a car stop near us and started shooting everywhere. The guy in the chair and I knew this was bad and attempted to flee the scene as soon possible. I could hear the bullets coming closer to me so I figure this will probably wake me up for sure. I then wake up and said I had a lucid dream.

For some reason though I thought I had two lucid dreams before I then woke up again to a false awakening,

30-03-22

1) WBTB As I float off to sleep I try to create a dialogue to myself, a bit of self hypnotism and a bit of describing where I am.

Now I am writing it all down next to my bed, this story I telling or possibly the dream I just had? As I try to read it back I realise it is not really here, it keeps changing, changing what I wrote. I sleeping already, but not fully asleep enough. So I continue writing.

After a while I have written myself into this dream, I am in my house helping Fabi looking for something in a large wardrobe. There is a big secret we are trying to hide from the police. I've had enough, so I decide to leave the house. Fabi is calling after me - but it's my dream, my story so I continue out of the house. I need to look for V
As I open the front door it's just a void outside, avoid and awakening is my guess. Fuck, I've written myself out and into a dead end.

SO I continue narrating: I have to go to a train station, to travel into the city for important business. Now the dream forms around me and I am just outside a quant train station in the countryside. It's sunny, the train station is made of a beige colored stone and I appear to be in a kind of garden area for it. (this is interesting because I thought I would end up in the city) Dream is still washy though, not strong enough to leave and search for V yet. SO I look around, stare at the flowers and the courtyard area around me. It's starting to solidify a bit. A dream character tells me to smell the flowers - great idea! I go to each flower and take a strong sniff, beautiful scents enter my nose. The first is like a rose, the second is more of an exotic type flower. I do a few flowers, each has it's own particular scent. (I'm impressed at how well I can smell in a dream!) then I smell the last flower, and it stings my nose a little because it has a kind of gingery peppery type of scent (I mention this to the DC) and then try to get another flower and grab at it's stem, but I get a bunch of small thorns stuck into my palm so I pul back my hand immediatley

'ouch!' I say. Then I look at my hand more closely - wow - I just felt pain! I'm impressed again! But... just as I am about to search for V I awake. grrrr

AWAKE: Now there is only 30 minutes before getting up, so I figure try to continue focus, meditate, self hynotise and observe V from this vantage point. SO I spend 10 - 15 minutes feeling myself go deeper and deeper and when I feel like I am relaxed enough I instruct myself to see a screen in front of me - a blank tv like screen, and that screen is broadcasting a direct image from 'V's mind. I use a kind of tuner to get a signal (searching) and then I start seeing images. Now I feel I am inside the mind, I am drifting through images left and right, swiping left and right to look for anything interesting or relevant. I see people's faces, woman, men, older and younger. I see objects I can't quite understand what they are and objects that are simple everyday things. I see some furniture in a house, and UI grab it and pull toward me to inspect it and this causes more things to appear. I see a man outside with a spotlight on him like a UFO - hmm - interested in UFO's? I put aside as a maybe. (each time I feel like I am associating and putting my own thoughts in I put aside, I am only interested in what is in her head) some more images, a large guy, tall and quite big, I overlay Keven from the Office (series) onto his face because he reminds me of him. (ack, doing it again, stay out!) I see another UFO, this time it's flynig through the sky... interesting. I then see V, she's behind an old wooden framed 4 panel window. Looks like it belongs in a garden out house. she looks .. trapped? There are paints around the window, a bunch of paint brushes I think. She looks at me and simply says 'this sucks' I cna't quite recall if the brushes are outside or inside with her. But as she says this I am pulled out a little, because it's a delicate balance, and not reacting I would simply forget, but reacting too much I pull myself out of the scene and now she is gone

I get out of bed and realize I'm dreaming. At first I start to narrate my experience to myself to help me focus but I begin to worry about waking my girlfriend irl (I realize this is irrational now) I begin walking through the house and enter a living room. I start trying to open a portal, Dr Strange style by moving my hands in a circle, nothing happens. Then I decide I'll try to summon a sling ring to aid me in opening the portal. I reach for it on the couch beside me but I feel nothing but the couch. I think for a second and look around. I see this lamp on the table with a bunch of small lights that are all different colors. I hold my hand up so that it blocks my view of a few of the small lights. When I move my hand several of the lights have changed color and shape. I experiment with this a few times and each time the lights are different. I'm able to change the colors of the lights at will. This gives me an idea. I look at a far wall and hold my hand up blocking my view of a large portion of the wall. I imagine that behind my hand on the wall is a portal that leads to the beach. I lower my hand and there is a black portal with a shimmering iridescent surface. I run at full speed and lunge through it.

I plunge through into darkness and immediately begin looking for and feeling around for sand. After a couple moments I feel it and it begins to appear. I'm on the ground looking straight down at the sand. I now look for water to begin rushing in with the tide and it does. I look up to find myself in a beach scene! (This is a huge success, I've been attempting this for the last couple months) I'm super excited and laughing with joy at my success. However I maintain my attention on my surroundings to keep from losing track of the dream. I leap in the air and begin bouncing along this giant pipeline that is running into the ocean. It seems the longer I'm on it the bigger it gets. As I follow it out into the ocean I reach some kind of machine that is connected to it that is around 3 to 5 stories tall. I fly over it to the other side and there is grass instead of ocean. I fly up the side of a brick wall and lose lucidity at this point. This last part is a little hazy but I remember cooking a bunch of fish. I start to tell my GF and a friend about my dream. My GF asks me before I begin telling it if I was lucid and I say yes. She says she could tell because she could hear me! Anyways I tell them the dream and wake

29th November 2021

Very abridged, many details weren't retained after waking; this was a brief lucid involving a false awakening and the lucid part felt continuous and lasting several minutes.

Dream:

I am out and about in a place like old home. Reminds me of 98 and I am with mom maybe, and a group of kids. It's some kind of school trip. (mom is here as a teacher?) I cross some foot bridge thing. It's sunny. I then go into a cafe or shop place, somewhat dark and unlit, except by the bounced light from outside. There are a few dream characters here, there's a counter of some kind on the left side and the place is deep-ish, being long and relatively narrow more than anything else.

I start hearing my thoughts and they are very present. My thoughts tell me I'm dreaming and I confirm this in some way by interacting in some specific way with the people. For some reason, I still feel self-conscious, or like it's impolite to do anything right away, excusing myself and eventually going outside again. My memory in the dream feels decent and I perceive all the visual details vividly but physical sensations are faint.

As I walk between two buildings, I start feeling some kind of arousal but successfully repress it. Instead of letting myself give in to an urge of making myself grow, I start trying to fly. Unable to fly, I am more leaping in large bounds of varying gravity each time. At some point I lose a bit of lucid awareness but I realise this and so I regain some clarity. Eventually I slip away into non-lucidness again and "wake up" falsely, into some other dream segment.

Then I am in a sofa bed with S; she seems needlessly concerned, anxious. This looks like the room me and H have stayed in, when I've visited my parents; it feels like old home, anyway. Thinking I'm actually awake, I try to ignore her a bit and I take my phone out to write down my dream, starting on some detail. But I stop because I'm interrupted by H, who's prompting me to get up as he comes into the room. We discuss something about our day coming ahead.

(recall gap?) Still in the same place, I am playing some game? Something about the original DOOM. Then I realise it's 3PM somehow, and wonder why or how it got so late, kind of in shock. But I don't dwell on it very long. (missed a perfect cue here)

(recall gap)

In some kind of ship, something about a fridge and some chemicals, including screenwash?

Notes:

- I mostly repressed the urge for growing because I always end up feeling like lucidity makes me want to do sexual things, which is fine, but at the same time I also want to focus on other things. Many times I've tried falling asleep with painting, or even art in general, in mind as a lucid objective just in case I ever do become lucid, since it's rare for me.

- After I became lucid, I have some recall that after the two buildings there was a cityscape past a dip (river?) but also a sort of digital-looking existence, like in some old 2000s 3D cartoons. There was something bizarre and unusual about the background, anyway, as well as some other kind of foot bridge.

- The manner in which I became lucid was unusual, not that I have a great deal of samples to compare with.

I took a nap this evening starting around 5:30-6:00 and just woke up a few minutes ago (around 8:00). I seem to have been having a decent amount of dreams, which I will try to recall here. I had been more or less successful in catching myself either having FAs or entering dreams. I think at least one of this developed into a decent lucid dream.

Making Food

There is someone that keeps asking me for things. I'm going to make her a sandwich. I have some awareness that this is a dream, or else I only have an idea that some of the food is dream food. Anyway, I decide I'm going to give my friend dream food, since it's not real anyway. I also duplicate a sandwich using dream control (lucid or not). I try to make another one appear, but seem to be having difficulty. I possibly close my eyes in the process, and then think that I shouldn't have done that.

Mystery

Either as a false awakening or a true awakening, I find myself laying facedown on the couch. But am I awake? I notice that there is something on my back. It feels like a person, but as I explore this I find that it is an automobile. I'm laying under the back of this automobile, which has gone off of the road and wrecked. Both of the people in the car are dead. I don't remember what happened, but it looks like the car swerved off of the road and hit me, possibly dragging me for a few feet. I'm worried that I caused the accident somehow, by being a distraction or something.

This seems to develop further into a more complex plot. There are other characters. I'm taking pictures of the scene so that I can try to piece together what happened on my own. The police are there too, doing an actual investigation. My phone battery is wearing out, and I'm having trouble getting decent pictures. I think to myself that I might be able to get "crime" scene photos from the police later.

I photograph some tracks I see on the ground/snow. Somehow I get involved with other characters. A late-middle-aged couple are there. They go off together somewhere. I am later sent to look for them. I have a wet wash cloth for the woman. I find her later, and it seems that her husband has died...

Awake or Not?

My friend M- is calling me. We're talking through a video chat I think, but I suspect that I'm not really awake. To test it, I get a harmonica from a table and bring it back to the couch with me. My thought is to see if it's still there when I wake up later. I also blow a few notes, and my friend (who lives in Africa) mentions something about it sounding like "American music".

Arabian Nights

...Some bad guys (and maybe a woman). They have me captured. It has an Arabian Nights kind of feel to it. At one point I think they are forcing me to pull them in a chariot? I'm trying to talk to them about something - maybe complimenting the eyes of the woman?

They want something from me. Also, they used to be my friends. The sad thing is, I would have given them what they wanted anyway. There was some unfortunate events that happened that made them try to hurt me instead.

But now they're standing at the top of a set of stairs. This is an opportunity for me, so I push them down the stairs together. It seems that by the time they reach the bottom they are just toys, and about the size of large action figures.

I go down to the bottom of the steps. My mother is there. I feel a bit silly about playing with toys at my age. I pick them up, and set one (which is like a robotic Genghis Kahn or something) on top of the bookcase next to us. My Mom asks if these are driven by an internal spring or by something like "the room behind the chimney at the top of the stairs". I ask her to repeat this a couple of times, because I don't understand what she's saying. Finally I get the idea that she means a room in my grandparents' old house that we used as an attic. In the dream, there is some kind of clockwork mechanism that could be used to drive a clockwork toy like the robot thing I have. I laugh at this, because obviously if I had plugged it in there, then there would have to be a cord attached to the toy I have downstairs!

My Friend (Lucid)

During this nap, I kept dreaming that I was waking up. I have been expecting a package to be delivered, and wanted to check outside the door to see if it had been. So at least once or twice I found myself getting up, only for it to be a dream. This time I find myself getting up. It's kind of that fuzzy half dreamlike feeling where I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or just "daydreaming". I do a couple of nose pinch RC's, I think. I also try to engage with my surroundings.

I reach to the stand by my couch and pick up a mug. It's so dark I can barely see, but I can feel it. I pick the mug up by the rim, and take a drink. I think it's tea. I think this helps me anchor into the dream a bit, even though I worry that tilting my head back to take a drink will cause me to close my eyes which can be detrimental sometimes. I then look at a picture above the electric fireplace that shows some family members, and am able to recognize some individuals. I think I might do another nose pinch, and after waiting a moment or two find that I am able to breathe a little (this doesn't always work right away for some reason).

I decide to do a bit of flying, partly to help anchor the dream I think. I'm inside, but I try to fly up through the ceiling like I did at least once before. Not having a lot of success this time, so I decide to go outside. I'm a bit concerned that I might lose the dream or lucidity in the meantime, so I do another nose pinch RC. Things seem to be going OK. I go outside and try to fly. I will myself to levitate, and kind of narrate to myself something like "I go up and up". I rise up to the level of the roof of the house. There I see C., one of my colleague/friends (she stopped by in the lab to see me during waking life today). She is standing there, and I join her. She says something to me about not having been to the lab for real yet. I get the idea that it hasn't ever been the "real" C. that has been to the lab, and her true self is yet to show up.

In waking life, I find this girl to be attractive, but due to a difference in a deeply held conviction it seems unlikely that she and I could ever have a romantic relationship. I reflect on how it's kind of nice to be hanging out with her in a way where this wouldn't necessarily be a problem. Somewhere around here I either wake up or have another FA.

Parking Garage

I’m leaving the University (I think) and walking into a parking garage. I can hear someone behind me, and act as though he might be chasing me (he probably isn’t). I try to lose him by taking a set of stairs to my right. I jump down these stairs pretty quickly. I think I hear another person behind me too.

Fragments

Maybe part of the parking garage dream – maybe it’s how that one started? I’m walking somewhere. I see another person approaching me across a walkway...

...Something about being in my grandmother's old house. People walk through one door of the sunroom and out the other sometimes during the night...

The scenery change to a new environment where I was in a crowd rushing to a certain direction for a special announcement. I then realize I had forgotten something and went the opposite direction. As I am brushing against people going the other way from me. I notice the panic in their face , this sense of need to go somewhere without knowing what it is. The pace got faster , more people were running passing me even trampling over other people. I decided I too should hurry to the thing I forgot.

I then made it to the stairs to this room made of metal. As I am going up the stairs I could feel myself now naked. I was embarrass wondering when did this happen? I then tried to think back when I was trying to get here did i have clothes or not. I then remember I did and thought how bizarre that I don't have them on me now. It doesn't make sense to me in till for some reason I didn't care about it anymore.

Lucidity began to hit me and I knew I was dreaming. I enter inside the facility and saw only green lit lanterns in a square room made of solid metal. I look all around and decided I wanted to try meditation for the first time in my dream. I sat down on the floor and made sure to keep my eyes open. I could feel my awareness changing as if it became aware of itself. My dream body while sitting down began to quickly slide backwards and went through the metal.

I then had a false awakening and found myself in my old apartment room. I had gain lucidity again and saw the television come on by itself with words that I no longer recall being displayed. The light got brighter as I attempt to cover my eyes but it was too much and I woke up.

Dunkin' trip in my pajamas 5:08am

My teacher was so cool that he let me go to the store next to the school after he was done with the main lesson. I got some donuts, but apparently I needed batteries. I did not get them.

In the following class, the teacher was not so kind. He got on me for not remembering certain aspects of the class, and I told him I wasn't mentally there. He then said that he knows people like me could use some coffee; I guess "people like me" was supposed to mean ADHD or something.

Anyway he gave me $10 and told me to just go to Dunkin' donuts. So I went to the same store that I went to in the first part of the dream. Interestingly, after exiting the building and walking to the store, I looked at my reflection in the side of a glass building. I was in my pajamas, or rather what I was wearing when I went to sleep. I thought, "yeah this is what I'm going to the store in" sarcastically. I was still going to the store because I didn't feel like changing, but that was a point that I could have realized.

Anyways I got there and I thought that I was going to get a coffee, two donuts, and maybe a hash brown if I had left over. The interesting thing is when I got to the counter, there was a battery pack with my name on them. Now normally that doesn't mean an item is reserved for you. Like it doesn't print with your name on it. I thought this is weird, but chalked it up to the last teacher remembering that I needed batteries and he decided to buy them for me. Anyway I must have succeeded in getting the coffee and donuts. And now I really want some tomorrow morning.

Dream casino

There was one dream a long time ago I had where I pulled a slot machine and whatever I would get would determine how I woke up. Apparently this casino has evolved and now there's an actual currency to win. I don't remember what that currency is used for, but it is used and shared across different dreams.

Tranzit first stop

I was in Black ops 2 and I was playing zombies by myself. I was playing Tranzit and I was on that first lava part of the map. I got a turbine and then I thought that I was going to farm until I got the galvaknuckles. Then I realized I didn't know how to set up on that map so I got scared because I thought the zombies were real and I woke up.

FA Caught!!! - 8:27am

An attractive woman approached me. Before she could say anything to me her image fizzled out but then I went back to another dream. I said, "Wait a minute that was a false awakening. This is going to keep happening until I catch it." So I kept hopping around from dream to dream and eventually I got to the point where I was in my bed. I decided to do the nose reality check, and wouldn't you know it, I could breathe through my nose.

At this point I was just trying to stabilize my dream. All of my limbs were kind of weird. My hands and feet had this blurry liquid around them. And the rest of my surroundings were also quite blurry. I was in my room. To stabilize, I explained my situation out loud. I said stuff like, my light is on, so is the fan, the carpet feels how I'd expect the carpet to feel, and I even rubbed my hands together.

I did all these things but they didn't really help to stabilize the dream. I mean they did help, but not very much. I've still yet to try stimulating other senses like taste. If I were in that situation again I'm going to really try to remember to lick the first thing I see, because maybe that'll be better than rubbing my hands together. I should know this by now, but rubbing my hands together does not really help the dream stabilize in my experience, unless I'm doing it wrong. Also, I need to stop and take a deep breath too.

I'm happy with that for only 1 day of training. Anyway, the first lucid(in a very long time) of many!

I performed my usual routine . woke up after 3.5 hours of falling sleep , studied chemistry for 45 minutes , did Reality checks , read dreams and did some visualisation , relaxed by a breathing technique and performed 3 SSILD cycles in the next 15 minutes and then fell asleep while focusing on an anchor .

though WILD didn't work outright and fell asleep , I had a false awakening in what seemed like minutes after performing the techniques and I just knew I was lucid . I walked out and it was nighttime . I went outside to see a great sunrise , one of the better ones I have seen in dreams . I went out of my house and started walking trying to find something of interest , suddenly a cop attacked me out of nowhere and the dream ended in panick . I felt the bed and was calm , I let images form in my head and one of them turned into another dream .

I was in another room of my house and saw my parents leaving , I knew I was dreaming but did an RC anyway . I wanted to try something and tried to phase through the wall . I got stuck in middle and It was a bit uncomfortable , though I did it with a push but just as I did the dream faded , I was so preoccupied with the wall that I forgot to take the anchor out of my pocket
. I woke up but tried to imagine a garden without moving . I saw a soft toy lying around and just as I touched it the visualisation became a full fledged dream .

It was a wedding garden , I saw a lot of people and lets say.... dream characters aren't my strong suite . My dreams end quickly when I am near them and they are always up to some whacky non sense . I started walking and they started following me , I willed them to stop and go the other way but it didn't work . I wasn't really concerned so I just kept running , I focused on the feeling of my legs on the ground and it was rough but it helped maintain my Lucidity . I was panting actually and it felt good . It was quite dark and I thought I had lost them but no they were just behind me , the shock of seeing them made me fizzle out of Lucidity .

I woke up again but I waited for images in my head to arise and they did . I was sitting at my study stable in the dream and then I saw a group of tiny birds above , a white one fell on my lap , then I saw a black one which didn't have an eye or a beak but just a black "shape" for a beak . I felt something was off and knew it was dream but confirmed it by nose pinch . I went to the mirror and the birds from earlier just disappeared without a trace .

frustated from my previous dream , I wanted a place without dream characters . I had planned it beforehand and it was based on a cartoon called Doraemon I watched as a child . Basically he had a mirror , if you enter the mirror you will find a mirrored version of the world without any humans or animals . basically a sandbox . I tried doing this with my mirror . I tried to go through it , I pushed harder and found myself melting into it . I was on other side and It was like a mirrored version of my room ..... the only catch was that I saw my uncle there and he didn't look normal . He had a HUGE WIDE smile on his face but it looked as if it was "compressed" by his chin and by god his chin was pointed and really slim , he had no lips and it made him look terryfying . Then I saw my father and mother like that too , They advanced towards me . I normally don't feel strong emotions in my dreams so I wasn't scared a bit ( though it certainly was offputting ) but I didn't want the dream to end so I walked through the mirror again and then I just fizzled out of Lucidity .

Today I had another LD and I went through the mirror again , they were still there . Seems like I have made some subconscious expectation that I will always find the entities when i enter the mirrors in my dreams and I really like this to be honest . Its so cool to have some consistency and persistence in a completely random dream world

What started out as trying to find more about a VR Undertale/Deltarune plot eventually devolved into a meta-commentary about how my dreams tend to change a lot. Within the dream, there were a few figures that appeared to be changing the dream for their own benefit, and one of the figures .

• Dr. Cor[..] appeared to want to kick off the events that lead to me discovering that they were making my dreams' environments unstable, I remember his name having 3 syllables to it in total
• The Eggsmith A mysterious figure that was obsessed with luxurious bathroom equipment and bathing. He's probably why I tend to see extensive bathrooms and comfortable equipment in my dreams. interestingly, a miniature trans pride flag was dangling from the big sink he created. I vaguely remember seeing him in another dream, in which he was represented by chicken eggs on legs. He was also a capricious and whimsical figure.
• Jim hall (approximate name) The creator of a lot of arcades and recreation in my dreams, as well as probably some cinemas, He warped the environment into his domain, a funhouse, and summoned me to come see him. Eventually another dreamwarper thought I knew too much and put me into a false awakening.
• Chara (ya know, the kid from undertale) Disappeared and appeared randomly, was ambivalent to the politics of the dreamwarpers, and appeared in both male and female forms.

Overall, I'm probably going to have the plot of this dream resolve in another night.

Oh, I also remember this playing during some segments of the dream for some reason.

i see someone walking in a neighborhood then i close my eyes then i see a man holding pills that offer me sum hey says hey young man do you want to know what it like to dream in someone else mind im baffled because the dream is that someone else mind i go up to the man where he rises like a angel then start dropping ecstasy from the sky i was close enough to see the texture of his hand before he began flight his body white and blue sticky dots sweating in the palm of his hand brody brody i hear my friend start talking and there cake up on snacks in the pantry they start to get entice i see a boy dress like superman saying racist remarks as he jumps out of a pipe into a burning volcano the volcano didn't explode then in the distance you see a cyclops towering over the mountain where i see a crisp orange soda being drunk this is where i see a stranger that give me acid and then i see a bunch of people with there eyeballs in the sink a demigod appears where he say the only dream you have is people offer you drugs my lucidity starts to fade i try to get higher in my lucid dream i see a revolving world where i throw a blunt a khole kardashian and see holly madison in a pink jump suit while in virtual reality

To preface this, I have to admit that I didn't really lucid dream on acid. This would probably be even more fascinating, if it wasn't for the inability to sleep while under the influence of such substances. Sorry for the clickbait-ish title - I just had to call it this.

Anyway, it all started with a long non-lucid dream with the usual mess of changing people, places and storylines. At some point I ended up observing a plot in which a teenage girl dosed her unprepared friend with LSD, who was then having a difficult time... The story ended and it turned out that I had been watching a video on youtube. I proceeded to some music when I suddenly saw myself in a reflecting surface and noticed my own huge pupils. This made me "remember" that I (too?) was on acid (yeah, that's obviously how this usually works *facepalm). I just laid back and enjoyed the effects which mainly consisted of some strange visual phenomena and a pleasurably relaxed, slightly confused headspace.

At some point I "woke up" and wondered how I could have fallen asleep in the first place and that it was too early to wake up, that I should still be tripping. Nonetheless, I went into the living-room where I found my niece. This seemed even weirder as I knew she was away for holiday. While hugging her I pinched my nose...and could still breath. Now, this seemed to clear things up for me. Gravity disappeared and we both started floating upwards, until we went straight through the ceiling. Suddenly, I was alone again, now floating in a gray mist. I wondered what to do now... While I was perfectly aware of my current dream state, I still took the previous events as waking reality. And so I ended up believing that I was indeed lucid dreaming on acid...

Under these circumstances I thought that I'd be able to conjure up almost anything - which I normally fail to do. So, I just asked my subconscious to take me to a beautiful place. At first, everything turned dark but I waited patiently (despite questioning if this would work). Then, an intense sensation of being accelerated built up throughout my body. I felt like being shot out of a canon, flying through darkness. Slowly surroundings began to form again. I was flying at breakneck speed along a street with forest on both sides. When I was nearing a bend, I slowed down and finally came to a halt. There it was: A mountain lake shimmering in the sunlight, surrounded by trees of the darkest green and huge mountains to either side. I was in complete awe, both by the sight and that this all was even possible.

Then, I was accelerated again and taken to another mountain road with a picturesque hotel. The surroundings reminded me of a real place with a huge volcanic crater nearby through which I always wanted to fly in a lucid dream. So, I just went into that direction. When I crossed the ridge, my wish was fulfilled and I could indeed fly through this amazing landscape that almost looked like a canyon. With an euphoric feeling of freedom I navigated through the changing scenery.

When I came closer to the other end, I started waking up...and slowly realized that it all - also the first part - had been a dream. The whole story made me laugh quite a bit.
My two take-away messages are: Even if one is lucid enough to be aware of the own dream state, memory and rational thinking can stil be heavily impaired. And, the limitations that I experience in lucid dreaming (and analogous in waking reality) are ultimately only self-imposed.

First entry this year - first proper lucid dream in the last 6 months (well, there also was one last week I may or may not write about later as it was so confusing).

Slept for about 4 hours, woke up and couldn't fall back asleep for a long time. Set some intention to lucid dream during this as I knew it would increase my chances. When I finally got to sleep again, a confusing mess of dreams ensued...One was a false awakening I didn't recognize. I got up feeling extremely groggy with a very limited control over my actions and emotions. I tried to communicate my strange state to the dream characters a.k.a. my family but words were just as hard to use.
At some point I woke up again, now with a far clearer head. Everything seemed normal and I was certain of being awake now, but with the memory of the false awakening that just occured I wanted to make absolutely sure with a reality check. So I pinched my nose and took a breath. Wait a moment, this is not how this should work. This means....I'm dreaming still!
Almost immediately all perceived gravity vanished and I began floating around the house. There were again some family members there but they didn't seem to care about my new form of moving around. Instead they were talking loudly about every-day stuff. I ignored them.
When I got to a window I simply floated through it. But when I wanted to fly higher there again was the ceiling above me and I was back inside. At first I wanted to leave through the roof now but didn't feel quite sure about that so I chose to use the window again. Suddenly I was back outside. The dream environment was certainly somewhat unstable.
Anyway, I didn't have a particular plan for this lucid dream and so I just kept flying (far better than walking in my opinion ;) ) to see where it would take me. I made my way through the well-known neighborhood, once again admiring the detail of my mind's creation, also looking for differences to waking reality. Of course there were some, but while in the dream I was quite oblivious to these.
Then, I got to a forest and reassessed what I wanted to do. I found a path getting narrower in the distance and a thought crossed my mind: If I follow this path to its end I'll meet my embodied subconscious there.
Before I could even set out though, the dream just fell apart and left me wide awake.