lucid

Sep 16 2018

Pre-WBTB:
[D1] I'm in a blue version of my childhood living room with F. She brings me a plastic rectangular package of writing utensils, and I tear it open and start looking at the different items (big fat sharpie, pencils, pens, an eyebrow brush). She looks mad at me for some reason. While I try to figure it out I fold a piece of paper in half along the middle. It's regular printer paper with one side watercolored blue, but not warped or anything. I keep prodding her as to why she's mad at me and she gives me the silent treatment, so I try to put back together the plastic box, but I can't fit all of the writing utensils back in. She's drawing a diagram of an isometric house, and I find out that she has a laminated piece of paper with different house diagrams on it that she wanted me to draw with her. It's blue and I think it might be the same one I folded, just machine-printed and laminated now. She angrily marks into the laminated paper with a pencil, but it barely shows up. I look at some of the different patterns, and while they look like they should be evenly isometric or orthographic, they're significantly skewed in multiple places. This makes me more aware of the dream state.
[L1] The scene shifts and I'm on the other side of the room, which is now incandescent. F and I are now in chairs by the fireplace, and the room is decorated for Christmas. I ask her "Are you still mad at me from the last dream?" Asking this question either triggers or strengthens my lucidity. She replies no but is still a little standoffish. I start literally pulling her leg, lengthening and transforming it willfully to about six or seven feet long, and bendy. Suddenly she switches places with me, and I'm now on the floor near the piano. I nonverbally command "Show me a clear view of F's face" and the control of my vision is taken over. It zooms and pans mechanically over to her. My vision is clearer now, but I can sort of see black bars at the top and bottom of my vision. She looks stoic or angry, but is facing directly towards me (her face is a little different than IWL). I'm pretty impressed by the effectiveness of the "show me" command, so I try again: "Show me the most beautiful thing I can imagine". The camera pans over to the picture frames against the piano wall and I think "Oh no, not this Freudian shit". Then the cameras react to me and point towards the ceiling, at a mobile that's very Christmasy, with a twisted wreath and a stuffed simplistic angel in the middle.
[D2] I'm in bed with F in an unfamiliar, dark blue place. She's trying to paste some text (a pop-up overlaid my vision). So I edit out the "http:/" and some other stuff and put into google (again via overlay) and I realize that it's the name of a reddit user? I say "oh I recognize this" but then I think maybe she'll be mad if she knows I know(?). After this she looks at me with a serious face and tells me that she's going to donate blood to A.L. (can't remember full name). When she says this, in the dream I remember an earlier NL (pre-pre-WBTB) but I don't write it down upon awakening. (4:50am)
[WBTB]
[L2.1] I'm NL in an open field, the sky is a faded blue and the earth all around me is dead and cracking. I think there's a treeline a couple of miles off in front of me and farther off to my far right. I see a huge explosion in the sky in front of me, it's bright blue in tint but not too intense to look at. I look off to the far right and see more of these, which are already shaping into crosses. The crosses are of varying sizes. I look back in front of me and the explosion has formed into a single, giant cross, with a couple of circles behind it. I realize I'm dreaming and immediately I think "I need to teleport to the bathhouse!". Because of this, my mind is preoccupied while I'm looking at my hands trying to stabilize the dream. The ground looks very clear, the detail is amazing on the cracks. But the dream feels paper-thin, and I start spinning prematurely thinking "bathhouse", and I wake up.
[L2.2] I'm in bed with F and almost immediately become lucid. Details ommitted but I tried to exert nonverbal dream control over her, and it almost worked, but the idea/expectation of her in my mind is too strong-willed and resisted me.
[L2.3] I'm a woman in a combination campsite/hotel, and again I'm almost immediately lucid. I'm situated all the way at the end of the row of rooms, and I see an older foreign-looking man with a crumpled brown leaf on his nose. He sort of reminds me of Eggman in retrospect, but friendlier in a way. I approach him because I either need something or was just looking for a DC. He's sort of ignoring me and my passage to him is blocked by a wall, so I look away and imagine a small gate. It appears and I go through. Scene shift and we're in his kitchen, he's reaching for the honey or sugar for some tea and I reach for it too. For some reason this is a grave offense, and I feel I should leave, but he forgives me. Scene shift and I'm in a gift shop, and there is a tribal african woman with body paint. Scene shift and I'm outside with the old man, and I pass by a tree with small blue scorpion creatures on its leaves. I then see down the road, a huge version of the scorpion creatures coming towards us and the cabins! I start running, but can't find my room (the layout is different now, with individual cabins). There's a man behind me so I let him pass and follow him to a small bunker. We drop in, and I feel unwelcome. One of the men has a strange-looking gun, and I make some military comment which he doesn't take kindly to. I'm still lucid so I actually offer to become another DC lol. The whole scene reminded me of FMJ for some reason. There's a fridge in the back of the bunker behind a sort of divide/cage. I'm handed some things to put in the fridge; one of them looks like ice cubes, and one of them looks like cheese or butter. I keep putting them in the wrong one, and the guys will just tell me "Fridge. Fridge. Freezer. Freezer". I keep insisting that the ice cubes need to go in the freezer but finally I look back down and they're diced carrots.
[L2.n] Within this dream chain I had another one in my apartment, and then an uncaught FA where I was DJing in bed.
[WBTB2]I woke again and had another lucid chain of (I believe) 3 different ones, but I couldn't find a pen so I didn't write them down, and got comfortable and forgot all about them!
[F1] Extremely long NL. It was cinematic, and was a sort of mix between Wreck it Ralph and a royal wedding, plus maybe Treasure Planet? It was a dark city adventure where we had to save the city from an evil corporation, some sort of power plant that you can see from anywhere which has a huge orange skullface on its building. I vividly remember the end, but the beginning and middle are fuzzy with a few distinct impressions. I think it's possible that the WiR dream and the RW dream were separate at first, but merged towards the end. Towards the end, we (the posse) are turning the corner on a cyberpunky road where all of the lights have gone out (we've shut down a few power plants already). But now as we round the corner we can see the big orange skull and we're ready for business. We drive up on the dark interstate hi-rise-ish road and approach a crowd of shadow people with yellow eyes. I throw a "shovel knight" at them, which is a rolling ball that slashes the people and turns the shadow people into normal people. The street/city setup reminds me a bit of early Duke Nukem. We round the corner and see a ship, which we untie and board. We end up walking into a sidedoor to the wedding.

Spoiler for unexpected romance:

I've been competing with this guy who looks like John from Sherlock, who is imposing, in the RW dream the whole time. We are relatively young, and there are some young girls that we are supposed to walk down the aisle during the wedding. However I (the persona I'm assuming in the dream) has feelings that have been developing for the whole dream, for the one that Sherlock John is supposed to walk down the aisle. Someone appears at the white door, and I open it, and there she is, in a beautiful white and gold dress; she looks surprised that I opened the door, I'm also in a white tux/commander's outfit with gold trim. She has black hair and pale skin, and a very straight face, which looks sheepish, somewhat sickly, but truly beautiful in a way I can't describe. I kiss her gently with closed lips. She's shocked but when I offer my hand she takes it. She's holding a paper and I'm holding a sketchbook (maybe I'm the wedding sketch artist? Who knows) and I take her paper and put it with mine. We hold hands and walk, having our pictures taken (turns weirdly digital for a second). Then I'm dancing with her and she's embarassed, like a deer in headlights, so I hold her.

Totally unexpected but interesting and enjoyable dream; can't figure out what kind of day-residue or thoughts led to this.



*Note: Counting L2.* as one dream together as they were a mostly uninterrupted chain.
**Note: I think I WILDed (or at least DEILDed) for some of the entries in L2; I distinctly remember that feeling of "crossing over" and how it sort of rushes through you and throws you off-balance. Very cool.

Morning of September 09, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 63.



I do not usually set the preconscious avatar on fire. It depends upon my acceptance of, and resonance with, the waking process (or how annoyed I might be about waking up in contrast to the more positive willingness) and whether or not vestibular system correlation is a factor of the transition.

My conscious self identity is not present at the beginning. It starts with a typical bedroom induction. The bedroom is a variation of Gellibrand Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived for many years.

Curiously, there are several other people in our bed with us, though I do not perceive them as intruders. (Our bed would need to be unrealistically wide to accommodate them, but I do not perceive it as such.) I am aware that the door into the bedroom is open, but it is to the left rather than in the middle of the opposite wall. (I am atypically sleeping on my right side, with my left more exposed to my real environment).

Two unknown males step into the bedroom. I do not know their intent, but I assume it is intrusive. Having a vague memory of my conscious self identity but not my real-life status, I consider what I should do.

Becoming aware that I am in the waking process of a dream, I become annoyed (as I had not used the induction process to sustain lucidity). I take hold of what is left of my dream self’s side of liminal space and create the intersection process, which is otherwise the choice to reenter deeper sleep or to wake. However, the feature is two rivers that cross each other perpendicularly rather than streets (though they are about the same size as urban streets). I mentally tie the preconscious avatar and his partner to a post where the rivers cross, mentally douse them with gasoline, and set them on fire. I deliberately fly up and out of the dream state much to my satisfaction.

---

12.9

LD 108 - Donuts
I was at a hotel. There was an old guild mate playing on a laptop in lobby. I talked to him about someone messaging me in-game, trying to get into the guild. I went outside the hotel. Gloomy weather, gray sky and not too warm. Some of my friends were grilling some food near the hotel. I joined them for a bit, before returning to the hotel.

I found myself in the wrong hotel room. The lights were off and the room was actually like 10 rooms. It was a massive place. Scene changed abruptly again.

I'm suddenly in my parents' place. I'm in the living room and a donut suddenly appears next to me. I grab it. Then I notice that the kitchen is full of people. My family is there along with several DCs I don't recognize. A man creates a doorway in the kitchen and I'm supposed to chase him. I can't move from where I am. All the DCs cheer me on. I try to teleport. Just willing it to happen does nothing. I throw the donut and try to teleport to it. It fails too. I close my eyes and visualize the frozen planet.

I "wake up" exactly where I was. Now there's only my family in the kitchen and no random DCs. I start talking about the previous dream. Dad asks questions about it and I explain things like dream control and stuff.

16.9

LD 109 - Sword fight with Bifrost teleporter (All the excitement happens non-lucid.)
I'm not myself, but an asian man with a superpower. It's a blood-related power, allowing me to turn myself into a blood-like liquid and engulf people to absorb them. My power is gentle, I do not harm anyone I absorb and can release them later.

The dream starts on the backyard of my parents' place. I sense danger and prepare for a fight. I'm a master swordsman so of course I have a katana. A blinding beam of light comes down from the sky with a booming sound. I recognize this to be the Bifrost. My foe appears from the light, a massive man similar to the last villain from Bleach: Yhwach. Our fight begins and he tries to overpower me with his sword. I'm stronger than him and easily parry each attack. He has the Bifrost and dances between new beams of light that he opens and closes effortlessly to teleport around me as he keeps attacking. Each time he teleports, I hear a boom as a new beam of burning rainbow light appears closeby. This sound gives me time to react and the fight goes on. When I'm about to be hit, I turn into my blood form to dodge. Since we both have powerful abilities to dodge damage, the fight doesn't end.

Scene changes. I'm in a gloomy post-apocalyptic world filled with zombies. I'm still the asian man with the absorbing power. False memories tell me that there are others with similar power, but I've engineered mine so that it doesn't destroy absorbed targets. I fight my way through a building full of zombies, looking for a man. The building is tall and I find the man on a floor 9 or something. I hold the door as zombies try to get in. The man looks like Terry Crews. He's a scientist and has a glowing magic wand. It looks like it's made from lightning. The window seems to be our only way out. I tell him to jump with me as I take the wand and get outside. When I'm already hanging outside the window, the man turns evil and tries to take back the wand he gave me. I don't give it back. I leave the man to deal with the zombies and I jump. As I fall, I try to fly. I fail, but I land safely. I'm surrounded by zombies. I try to fly again and fail.

Failing to fly reminds me of lucid dreams and I become lucid. "I'm dreaming!" I tell myself while looking at a horde of zombies around me. I want to improve my dream control and decide to start by recalling my waking life. I'm hoping that would improve lucidity. While I focus on recalling waking life stuff, I lose the dream.

Yeah, should just focus on the dream. I'm also pretty much over my flu so that should be good for dreams.

Fragments

-Winter, in a bus with dad and brother. Dad drove, I told him where to go.

-Sister and kids. At my parents' place. Outside there were kids playing around with lawn mowers and sleeping on a running lawn mower. I tried to get them to stop.

Sep 15 2018

First a summary of the pre-WBTB NLs:
It's morning on a sunny hilltop, just outside the twon, blue skies. (fragment)
I'm in a version of my childhood home which is an apartment or hotel, 4ish stories up. I'm with my fiancee.

Spoiler for lewdness:

Across the open space in another room I see three girls in lingerie getting down and dirty. I have an understanding that the intimacy is not genuine and is for show. I point them out to my fiancee and we watch.

The lighting/mood was incandescent (I seem to have incandescent dreams and fluorescent ones, and there's a clear distinction of feeling between the two). There was another longer segment before this. (dream)
I'm talking to Adam and Tom (two random DCs). It's a public place, maybe a grocery store in a small town or a town hall (this is a reach) and they're arguing about the fidelity of Adam's wife, who used to be Tom's wife. (fragment)
I'm watching Jack Nicholson, Pheobe from Friends, and some other celebrities corroborate their story in a fluorescent courtroom. (fragment)
FA where I'm writing detailed notes in my DJ, even drawing pictures (I'm an amazing artist in dreams). Very convincing and thorough. (dream)
Pen went out and I didn't write hard enough to leave marks, so I lost some. But one mentions noises, my fiancee, and my dog. It makes me think it was another intruder FA or variation of it (my dog barked a lot last night so I was afraid of having one), but I always remember those, so it wasn't that.

Wake 5am. Fiancee (I'll call her F from now on) has work at 5:30 so I don't try to fall back asleep and just half-meditate while reflecting on dreams. Get up with her and walk my dog (calling him D from now on) and look at the stars, getting a strong feeling that I'll become lucid. I end up going back to bed at 6:30 or 6:40, I wear a sleep mask because there's some light entering into the room now. D's being loud and shaking the bed with his scratching so I threaten to kick him out. I end up trying something strange, I put two of the pillows over the sides of my face and my ears to block out noise, and I sort of side-hug them like the ten commandments.

As I'm falling asleep, I have the tranpsarent eyelids effect a couple of times. The first time, I can see D, and I try to latch on to the visuals as a dream, but they pop out of existance. I have this with a few other visuals: a long stalk of grass or leaves, and a pillow or blanket with a tag and words I could clearly read ("english", "c.o.t.r."). A couple of times I feel like I'm going to WILD. I fall asleep and fully wake at 7:24am.

This time I turn on my side but still use the pillow similar to how I did before. I go back to sleep. I wake up around 8:30, although I'm barely awake; I use this time to try and WILD as my body's still in REM atonia. I finally can fully focus on an image/scene, and at some point everything blacks out and I "pop" into the scene! It full materializes around me! I have awareness of my waking body and the fact that I was awake less than a second ago. I was surprised at the blackout before it happened though, I always assumed (and when I've had DEILDs I've experienced) that you go directly from waking to the dream with no visual discontinuity. Anyway, I'm in a tan carpeted room with white walls and a staircase. The stairs are the same as in my WL apartment, tannish carpet and white rails; however the room they open up into is bigger. I'm at the bottom of the staircase sitting on one of the stairs, looking through the rails. I am sort of a point of perception rather than a body; I try to spin but can't use my body to do it, so I think "bathhouse" and will myself to spin. It works! My perception point starts spinning, but I don't go anywhere or transition to another scene, the visuals just intensify. I look closely at the stairs and the room around me, the light coming in from the kitchen window, the layout of furniture in the living room. Suddenly I wake up. (Lucid)

After this, I decided to keep trying to WILD. I kept on the edge of sleep and let myself fall into visuals another time! This time, I went directly into the dream scene with no blackout (it felt more like a DEILD). I find myself in a living room type area, near a sliding glass door. I put my finger through my thumb to stabilize it works with a little resistance. I pick up a small box or something similar and throw it through the glass, which doesn't loudly shatter but sort of just breaks and disappears. I go through the opening and it's a tight fit because the balcony railing is right against where the sliding glass door was, and it's high. I climb up and get my torso over it, then I jump from the balcony to a tree (the trunk looks like a palm but it's twisted). As I jump down onto it, I experience some sort of anti-gravity or limited gravity, which is cool. I land on the tree and grasp the trunk. At first it had branches, but when I look around and notice they're in my way, they disappear and it's all trunk. The trunk is kind of twisted. I decide to thoroughly experience the texture of the tree, so I rub my hands over it, bite it, lick it (it tasted sort of sweet with a bitter aftertaste and rough texture). Some seriously weird stuff omitted.

This dream starts a chain of DEILDs and DILDs that last a while*. In the first, I'm in bed with F. I look at my hands and become lucid. After a bit I get up and ask her to come with me but she's gone. I go to the dark hallway and turn into a bathroom with the light on (sort of reminded me of my best friend from childhood's bathroom). I feel around in the cabinet expecting a few things and although I hit a wall, I say "Oh right, wasn't there a secret compartment there?" and that part of the cabinet pivots away and I find the object I was looking for! Was pretty cool, I did this with some drawers too. I read some vivid words that I don't remember (some tags on towels, labels on some circular plastic packaging). I believe I walked down the hallway too but then it ended.

Again I found myself in a dark room, fingerpalmed, walked over to a table and grabbed a box, then threw it through a sliding glass door. The glass didn't break, so I walked up to it and punched it. I walk outside and it's night in a cyberpunkish or maybe Coruscant-like city. As I walk out onto a large circular balcony, I see that to my right there are three guys leaving theirs as well. I think to myself "I should lock up because they'll break into my apartment", but then I remember that a) it's a dream, and b) I punched through the sliding glass door. I realize that one of the guys is B, a coworker. The two guys with B are wearing old-time diving masks and carrying spears. He's wearing some sort of Rita Repulsa outfit with the big shoulders, but mostly black. I end up with a large stick (a branch from the tree before?) with a thin metal spearhead sticking out the top of it. Then another DILD which again I'll omit.

Woke again, didn't record time but I think around 9:30 or 9:45. Went back to bed and had an FA where my grandpa came up the stairs into my room and handed me something he said was a CD (I was sleeping naked so he didn't want to intrude). The package wasn't a CD though, it was a tight grouping of multicolored beads with a small gamecube-sized disk deep inside of it that I couldn't get to. (fragment) Had a lot of other NLs and I think a few more LDs during the dream chain, but it's really hard to read my writing...I'll edit my post sometime when I have time to decipher them.



*For the September Competition (and my LD Count) I'll count this dream chain as one lucid since they were all basically back-to-back, and then count the first one as its own (since there was a period of longer wake in between them), so two total.

Night of September 13, 2018. Tuesday.

Reading time: 1 min. Readability score: 62.



Vestibular system correlation begins as my dream begins, which is semi-lucid but allowed to render randomly, as I do not make a willful attempt to orient or give willful detail to any of the patchy space. However, a common thought at this stage is choosing the setting of being on a bus, which is not as expansive a process as a helicopter or airplane (or flying unaided).

So the setting stabilizes as a bus, seemingly in late afternoon, but I am not corporeal, as I have not fully “stepped in,” though I am on the right of the bus driver’s seat. There is no driver. An empty child safety seat (baby car seat) is atop the empty bus driver’s seat, closer to the steering wheel. The bus is moving in a setting that seems like an ambiguous mix of a bullring (bullfighting arena) and a Nascar venue. Although it is driving itself, my dream self is still liminally controlling its direction and speed.

The Paul Simon song, “Baby Driver,” is loudly playing from an undetermined source, diffusing through the environment. There is an enhanced awareness of energy and activity. I start to feel very amused and cheerful by the absurdity of the scenario. Most members of the audience are cheering and throwing confetti as the bus circles the area.

I start to wonder why the Paul Simon song emerged, as I had not heard or thought of it in years. Still feeling cheerful, I decide to come out of my dream.

---

The non-lucid I was with Sam h at what we thought to be a music festival. It looked like an indoor water park but the theme was a jungle so there were a lot of trees and brush all over the place. I believe there were water slides and hot tubs scattered about. There was a front desk. We had gone up to the people and mentioned that we had two tickets. At some point we saw Temple.

The semi-lucid I was walking in Kings Charter. I was cutting through someone's yard to get to my house but I heard recently IRL that the owners of this house participate in beekeeping so I was trying to go around them when I realized that the house wasn't even there. In its place was a field and there weren't any trees or houses that are usually there. I became aware that I was dreaming but was very calm about it. I just thought that it must be a dream and that I should do what I want. I was now walking in that field and there were people walking near me. I thought in my mind that I would try to ask a dream character something. Before I could ask anything a girl walked by me and she said something like "you are a beautiful one" or "you are a good one", I don't think it was exactly that but it was something similar. I can't really remember. I kept repeating what she said to myself in awe and curiosity. Someone else walked by and said something else but I can't remember. I realized my eyes were very squinted. I was trying to open them up but the dream collapsed.

Sep 12 2018

I woke up and color-coded my dreams in a weird order (Red, then Blue, then Green instead of RGB or ROY G BIV). In my first NL, I'm in a strange competition where the teams of two have to come up with a piece of art and a story (but it can be derivative?). My parents and some older relatives (aunts, uncles) are also playing. I'm ambitious and want to try something we've never read before and reinterpret it and create something original from it within the timeframe (we have 1 day, or maybe 1 night, to complete it). Everyone else is cheating and making really simple art, which I'm frustrated at because I'm trying to create something good. This is all taking place in a long room with tables and chairs/stools set up, with large windows that have whitish light coming in. The entire room has a blue, overcast tint to it (it's been rainy lately, I think lighting in dreams could be an important dreamsign).

The scene transitions and I'm in a brighter (incandescant) hallway looking at posters and diagrams. There are displays with black and white etchings or line drawings or diagrams of a man who reminds me of Nietzche in pugilist attire. The display (or a DC) says "engineers have been fascinated with the human body for hundresds (or thousands) of years". I get through the hallway and reach a balcony opening up on a room below (sort of like an operating theater but no separation). There are people in the room below, maybe related to the competition.

I'm now in a blueish comic book store. It's dark outside and in front of me in line, there's a guy trying to buy a macbook. He doesn't pay (or should have in advance) and the cashier scolds him and shoos him out, giving him a warning. Me and the cashier go way back, and he mentions my competition. He suggests a pairing of characters from a fictional anime, and we debate eastern vs western art for a while. He shows me some pictures of the characters for reference. This all felt like one long connected dream.

I'm in my childhood home backyard with my fiancee, we're playing ping-pong with some drunk guy. It's me and her against him, he has a big beard. The ball is bright orange and there's a black trash bag on the table. I miss a couple of balls (I might be drunk too) and feel bad. Suddenly the table is thinner length-wise (maybe it collapsed?). We keep losing balls and there's something on the ground (an unfamiliar dog or other creature?).

Sep 13 2018

I went to bed at 12:30am. The first NL I remember a variation of my reocurring intruder dream, but instead of the intruder, I walk into the hallway from my bedroom and see that the bathroom light is on. Our apartment's maintenance man is finally fixing our sink, but it's the middle of the night. At some point I have a fragment about the server that I've been working on for work.

I wake around 3:50 and move my dog so he stops scratching his collar. Fall asleep and have some NLs. In the next one I remember, I'm in a play place. Think McDonald's with tubes and such, but along the floor only, much too small, and made out of those pop-up tents that resemble windshield sun shades with holes in them. I'm with my fiancee, we're crawling through on hands and knees through the holes. She's ahead of me and I have to expend a lot of effort to get through. There are cobwebs all around, and some small items are stuck in them. I remember vividly that there were a lot of bees/wasps on the ground. As we crawl towards the back, my fiancee finds a large blue crystal ring. We get in a fight about it. A female therapist appears, and she sides with my fiancee. I become irate.

I'm now walking into a room with some old ladies. It's a slightly dim, carpeted, beige room with the curtains drawn but light still filtering in around the edges. I'm naked, and the old ladies, who are sitting in chairs along one of the walls, are looking at me out of the corners of their eyes. I'm standing behind my fiancee (or another DC) after entering the room to try and hide. Eventually something clicks and I realize how ridiculous the situation is, and I look at my hands and become lucid! The old ladies' chair positions have moved, their backs are to the windows now and they're looking directly at me. Some old men (more men than there are ladies) are standing behind them looking upset, and looking away. I shake their hands and tell them I'm dreaming, but they're looking away from me, and each time I shake one of their hands it's like I intercepted them trying to shake someone else's hand. I walk around the room a bit (I didn't write this down immediately so I'm not sure what else I did here), and I remember thinking how lucky I was to be lucid so frequently these past weeks (waking life awareness!!). I then decided to try spinning again. This was my first time spinning from a standing position, and it was at least mostly successful (I had thought about doing this in the night while walking my dog). I wanted to visit my incubated dream world, so I said nonverbally "waterhouse" (I meant bathhouse). My intention was vague and unclear, so it took a while longer to form the dream scene and the dream must have latched on to some floating thoughts to form something coherent out of the word.

The scene materializes (like a squareish shape of white light approaching from the distance) and my full field of vision is focused on a video playing. The video is gaudy, bright, and annoying (my fiancee showed me the new iPhone commercial last night). There were words on the screen in a tacky font, sort of like lyrics although they weren't. There was no sound. Bright neon colors (I remember green and yellow) and images of a woman in a yellow or red dress standing on a stage as if she was singing were flashing on the screen. My field of vision slowly allowed me to disconnect from the screen and realize that it was a phone or tablet that I was holding. I was in a living room similar to my own, with a glass coffee table and a long couch behind me. Although the layout is similar to mine, the dimensions, lighting, and general decor remind me of the house of one of my dad's old clients, a rich Jew.

I look back at the phone again and the screen is dimmer now, and no matter what I do I can't get it to go bright again. I put the phone on the table and decide to do a reality check, so I put my first two fingers into the palm of my left hand. With the two hands stuck together, I decide to try and stick my fingers through the roof of my mouth as well, but I can't. I turn around and look at the couch. There's now a female body on the couch, although it seems like a mannequin. I try to put my fingers through her abdomen/solar plexus, but instead of entering in, the skin flakes off like peeling paint. I peel it like an onion and take off one layer up to the face. The face underneath is different. I take more and more layers off, and each time the face is slightly different. Some parts of the skin reminded me of plastic wrap that sort of warps and has indentations, or like the shrink wrap they use on college textbooks. I start thinking too much and wake up.

It's 5:30am, I color-code my dreams (again with the weird Red, Blue, Green order) and try to stay still because I feel that I'm still in REM and can easily DEILD. I see the white light and almost get into a couple of dreams, but my dog keeps scratching and moving around, other noises keep popping up and bringing me out of it, and I end up just lying there for a while. I try to get back to sleep and maybe I drifted off for a little bit but ultimately I woke up before my 6:40 alarm and DJ'd on my phone.

I'm starting to really believe and understand Sensei's article about catching "the feeling" and holding onto it, trusting yourself that you will LD tonight rather than techniquing yourself to death. Really proud of my frequency lately! But I'm ready for a full night of deep sleep. Work is killing me.

Morning of September 12, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,895-02. Optimized 1 min 15 sec read.



I am in the Loomis Street house on the second floor and mentally form a spaceship out of the front area. Several unfamiliar men are with me.

I operate my jerry-built flying saucer, still made of wood from the house. It rises in the air and enters outer space. One unknown male (protoconsciousness emergence caused by my vestibular phasing response to the dream state) is wary.

I go to Mars and enjoy seeing its landscapes. My illusory sensations of movement (imaginary kinesthesia caused by the vestibular phasing dynamics of REM atonia) are vivid.

“I’m going to the third galaxy,” I tell the others (an association with Earth being the third planet from the sun).

With the silly pretense of metacognitive dream shaping, I cheerfully claim every solar system has at least one planet like Earth, many of which have human-like inhabitants.

I create a planet upon which to land. There are many unusual structures. The “aliens” look like people, but they say “arrow” (myoclonus association) instead of “hello.” I mentally try to prevent them from speaking English, but we hear some short phrases. Because of this, one male passenger thinks we might be on Earth.

I see spiral writing and crosshairs on a computer screen. I read “TTYL” (“Talk To You Later”). I consider I should make the text seem more “alien.” I focus, and it soon mainly contains characters like those from the Netflix “Travelers” series. (It is a science-fiction series about human time travelers).

I summon Zsuzsanna into a bedroom for an intimate experience. My somatosensory response (tactility, physical pleasure, and sense of warmth) increases exponentially. I sit on a bed, and Zsuzsanna sits on me, facing me. The protoconsciousness personification and the other passengers are watching us through a window (with no sense of intrusion). (There is a vague association with the last scene of the James Bond movie “Moonraker” from 1979.)

---

+ at the (pharmacy?) counter, there is a crowd there, I'm ordering things, there are bottles of white pills around(?). Later there is a commentary about the food, and I say "there is no no nutritious food, no good meats, no fresh vegetables, all they have is gum & candy." I look down and realize my bag is missing, I see someone moving around from me with it, I start shouting "They stole my bag!" and go after him. The thief is moving to a wall of lockers, and I think he's going to stash it inside a locked locker and I won't be able to get it back. There is a guy sitting in a chair to one side (the thief?) I want to punch him, I make a few feints (and then punch him?)

+ girl at the pool.

Spoiler for sexy time:

I notice a girl walking by. I grab her upper regions, which are small, and then I grab her (ahem) through her pants. Then I'm in a pool (with her?) and she's naked and I start oral on her, and we swim around like this for a while

+ LD #243 tk, girl.
I'm moving through a set of glass doors and there is a guy in front of me, I make an arm gesture and "force push" (TK) the guy away from me. This makes me realize I'm dreaming. I look around. It is a library-like location. There is a girl to my left, I decide to engage.
I think about stabilization, things are stable, colorful. She shrinks to the size of a small doll.

Spoiler for sexy time:

I put her on a counter and undo my belt, which takes several seconds. I then begin with her, thinking she'll return to normal size soon

. A man nearby starts a commentary on something and I lose lucidity, I think he's wrong.

another day:
+(f) running with somewhere, I move ahead of them to the destination. I'm running quickly.

Created Tuesday 11 September 2018

Got DILD (if only seconds-long for the lucid portion) and a fragment to note.

Scrap Group 1
At an arcade, playing some made-up games.

Something involving my nephew and his cousin.

Dream 1 - Flight, Floods, and a Giant Strawberry

Scene 1 - Girl's Glare Awareness
The visuals were a bit blurred. I was in a school's computer lab. My bro was there as well. We speak of an out-of-business sale for an outlet that we supposedly previously visited. When we left the lab, I started floating around, if just to show off. I did, however, have trouble balancing myself, and had to keep my legs tucked in so as not to bump into anything. Two young girls (about 8 - 10 years old) were ahead of us, one with long black hair, the other with brown. The former of the two kept glaring at me with contempt. Questioning who she was triggered lucidity. I continued flying through the hallway, when the dream began collapsing into a blue void. Thorough hand rubbing until a new scene formed.

Scene 2 - Flooding Indoor Waterside Loading Bay
The visuals were dim. Awareness lost. I was in a waterside loading bay, a huge indoor facility occupying both land and sea. Instead of warehouses, goods were sent directly to a large outlet nearby, likely the same one mentioned above. Pathways were quite narrow, leaving far too little room for porting work.

A vast barge was moored, large enough to cover all docks. It also looked highly damaged from use and age, perhaps even incapable of moving. I hopped into an exposed inner hold. Despite the room appearing dirty from years of neglect, there were plenty of perfectly intact crates left over. I thought to peek in, when the ship suddenly began sinking. So, I jumped back to land fast as I could.

I stared in awe as this disaster unfolded. Yet, I also noticed the ship had been submerged much too quickly. Just then, the water began to rise, steadily engulfing the entirety of the dock. In a panic, I rushed to the warehouse. Too late. Just as I was about to get inside, rows of steel airlock doors slammed down in the entrance. Such pressure forced me back to the rising sea, and before long, I was engulfed completely.

Hurriedly, I swam up under a canopy, hoping to suck what precious air I could. I thought to kick up some bubbles, which would hopefully stick under that surface long enough for me to breath. Still, I also knew I couldn't survive here for long... "Better rewind time", I thought. Transition.

Scene 3 - Strawberry Wizard Boon
The visuals were rather blurred. I was at a forest clearing, mists concealing much of the savage wilderness around me. Directly ahead was a dirt/ rock mound, carved and built with enough rickety constructions to make a crude dwelling. I go inside to find a stereotypical old sage, a haggard, ancient white-beareded man wearing rags and a worn out pointy hat. After handing me a sizeable knife, the old man points to a giant strawberry behind him. I hack at the oversized fruit, cleaving it in two. Then, on a guess, I take left half, and offered it to the sage. But, he only shook his head in disappointment, and pointed to the exit.

Once again, I rewound time. Now, I chose to offer the right-hand portion. The wizard nods, and, finally, began to speak. He rewarded me with a boon for my "soldiers", granting a specific type of them the power to form visible, triangular-shaped winds. False memories had me recall my fighting with, and later recruiting, some legionnaire type figures. Reckoned these were to whom the old man was referring. Furthermore, this visit somehow prevented my drowning predicament above.

Things warped. More false memories. Don't recall how this ended.

Sep 11 2018

I had two long and detailed NLs during the night, but after waking from each one, I couldn't remember anything*; I was pretty disappointed at my recall. It was around 4 in the morning and I had time to sleep in, at least until around 6:40. I decided to make the best of it. I got up and walked around, did some relaxation and tried to WILD for a bit with no luck. Finally I repeated my mantra only twice and went directly to sleep.

I had a long non-lucid in my childhood home. It was night and I was in the kitchen, looking out the window. I could see a huge field outside. My dad was there, and we were planning something (resistance?). Scene transitions to a more brightly lit room, I have a toy typewriter that types in a brownish color on a clear sheet of glass or plastic; possibly the letters are cookies. I type "how to get rid of giant crickets" and think about cockroaches briefly (fear/loathing of these is starting to become a dreamsign). I think we were fighting against giant crickets in the dark house. I walk from the living room into a long kitchen area. It reminds me of the Oculus Touch VR demo I played about a year ago (with the little robot guy with the cartridges). There's a little kid sitting to the left of the kitchen where I enter; he's sitting and looking at some complicated instruments, similar to a plane or helicopter. However I get the understanding that they're for a car. I teach him about the controls and explain what they're all for. He's doubtful in his abilities and I reassure him.

The scene shifts and the kid and I are in an airplane with the same controls. There may be another DC kid sitting there. I'm telling him to pull up, pull up, pull up! because we're flying really low almost touching an interstate highrise. Finally we're rolling on the ground, the wheels are touching the cement rails/guards on either side of the thing, I say pull up goddammit! He finally does and we're flying again.

Scene transitions and I'm flying on my own, with just my body. Waves of pleasant vibrations are washing over my body and I feel the rushing sensation of the air. I become lucid! I look at my hands to confirm and then look around, and put my hands in a superman pose. I shoot forward! The sensation was insane. I fly for a little longer and then approach another bridge, veering up to avoid hitting it, but slowing down as I consider landing on it. For some reason I hesitate and doubt my ability to land effectively; the dream doesn't destabilize but I remember that I wanted to try spinning in a dream.

I spin counterclockwise, flapping my arms side to control my motion as if I'm trying to spin while swimming. The scene fades and I feel a new one being created although I don't see anything yet. I feel myself sort of fall into a pool of water. I'm in a secluded watery area. All around me there are reddish metal walls with seams and rivets. To the left there's more of an open area. I touch the wall and look closely at the rivets. I walk along the permiter of the wall to my right and then along the wall in front of me, and arrive at a tree with a thin trunk (maybe 6 inches diameter). I can't see any leaves or branches, and the trunk is straight with smooth bark, making me think it's a palm. I try to write my initials on the bark and I can't really see them show up, but I can see them fade (I guess because my fingers were wet?). I remember my coin totem and try to summon it from my pocket. I reach into my left pocket and there's nothing there, but I pretend there is. I pretend to flip the coin with my left hand, nonverbally making the "sheeeeen" sound that it makes when it flips. I catch it in my left palm and slap it onto the back of my right hand, and after a second I feel it there! I move my hand and there it is, looking exactly as it does in real life, except for some fake-looking black rust spots (this could have been because I found an obnoxious amount of mold on my provalone last night). I look at it for a bit, excited that I could actually summon an item from waking life. Unfortunately I forgot the entire purpose of it, to rub it for stabilization. Oh well, there's always next time. Also this whole scene exhibited a huge degree of detail and solidity compared to the flying scene, possibly because I formed it/entered it while already lucid rather than being a preexisting dream. Also, I think that in this area I was in, there was a cover of some kind.

I walk the perimeter to the open area (to the left of where I initially was). I look to the raised area with some pebbles and trees/bushes in sort of a garden. The walls here look like red brick, and there's no cover above, I can see sunlight clearly. I look at a bush and see a doe walk out! She's in perfect detail, and is beautiful. Then she lifts a leg and pees on the bush. I laugh and wake up. As I'm waking up, I realize that there was beautiful, soothing music playing at this place, and I'm able to sort of recapture and hold on to it; then I realize that the music was formed partly by my fiancee's breathing.



*Note: I haven't been keeping a physical DJ on days when my fiancee is working. She's a light sleeper, so the scratching of the pen on paper sometimes wakes her up and she doesn't get enough sleep on working days anyway.

Morning of September 11, 2018. Tuesday.

Reading time: 1 min 6 sec. Readability score: 63.



I still had traces of the flu during this period. Vestibular system correlation took on a rather odd form in the otherwise typical transition, an atypical combination of internal and projected awareness. I was semi-lucid but did not maintain focus.

I enter the world of Barney Google and Snuffy Smith by liminal intent. Snuffy has a daughter of about my youngest daughter’s age. Snuffy’s daughter (fictitious as relevant to the real comic strip) walks through a doorway and my dream shifts rather than the doorway association serving as an exit. I then realize it is my daughter standing in the room in real life, but I shift back into the dream state.

Now I am viewing a Hi and Lois comic strip. It features Chip and an unknown girl (partially based on a real comic strip I had just seen previously - see image). They are riding a subway. The girl is on Chip’s left, so this is a typical rendering modeling (in real time) of how I am sleeping with Zsuzsanna with her on my left. On the left of my view of the comic strip are a few odd sketchy characters with stop signs for heads (though otherwise drawn like a Hi and Lois character).

The surreal comic strip is a result of my ongoing semi-lucid thoughts. Eventually, within a larger version of the comic strip, is an insert displaying the external movement of a real subway (like the film of a passing train, although I view its side as if from above). I say “look at that,” (even though the preconscious avatar is not visibly present) and wake slowly, feeling the illusory movement in my body.

---

Sep 9 2018

I was walking through a large paved road which felt like a walkway through a large park. It was a sunny morning or afternoon. The lawns on either side were lined with large oaks with twisting branches. There were passerby walking in either direction. Suddenly I became lucid and started running! I looked back and saw a DC. I turned around fully again, expecting to see a coworker from one of my college jobs*, and she was there! I was running backwards at this point to let her catch up, but for some reason couldn't stop or change directions, and instead had to run backwards, slower. When I reached her I made some conversation about the fact that I was dreaming, and she seemed thrilled. I took her hand and we started running together. We passed a few trucks (possibly ice cream trucks or food trucks) and signs, and I was able to read them clearly. I asked her whether she had ever flown before, and she responded that she hadn't, all she had ever done was float. I told her that that was a good start and we lifted off.

I can feel the wind on my face and body and we're still holding hands (platonically). We weren't doing superman poses or anything specifically to indicate that we were flying, just setting my intention on a direction and going there. It was a great sensation. The oaks stretched even farther up now, and I bobbed and weaved through the twisted outstretched branches. I had a few near misses but overall had pretty good control.

I decided to go higher than the trees and went skyward. At which point I could see in the top of my field of vision three or four wooden planks arranged like ceiling blade fans. I passed above the planks and at that point there were flat planes rushing past us. I looked down at my hands and while still holding my coworker's hands, I pushed my finger through my palm -- I felt some resistance at first but asserted "I'm dreaming" and was able to do it. Then I felt the dream stabilize a bit.

As I looked back up, I saw that it was approaching dusk with a sunset in front of us. Underneath was a large wooden building with multiple levels with wraparound balconies. It reminded me of the restaurant I worked at for a while. I approached it and landed on the roof (it may have just been me at this point). I saw a small shack/building on the roof. Upon further examination it looks similar to a dollhouse made of craft wood -- I can clearly see the seems and the semi-gloss finish on the wood. The dream fades quickly.

Note: I woke up from this dream at 6am on my left side.

Summary of other NLs:
I'm in a kitchen by a white door with glass panes near the head and the foot. The house reminds me of a classmate from my high school band's house. There were multiple locks that were complicated and kind of hard to turn. Once I turned them, my anonymous DC sidekick switched some small levers which had clear writing on them in a row. There is a silhouette outlined in the door and I think what lies behind it is a dark garage. I have a serious talk with my DC sidekick. We open the door and go through, and pass through the dark garage (felt ominous, there were other silent DCs there).

I'm in a garden/walkway with a girl. We look up and see bright flashing in the clouds above. It takes a triangluar shape and turns into a spaceship with clear writing on it (reminded me for some reason of the writing on a bus or van). We run over hill after hill and past trees to keep seeing it. Each time we get it back into our field of vision it's more detailed. Finally we see that there is a ledge on the back of it and there are giant women sitting there. They send down some smaller but still giant women who fire beams at us. We run in the opposite direction and become extremely cartoon-like in our actions. I fuse with her and our arms and chest start spinning; there are now two copies of me, one driving the process and one fused with her. We fire beams back at the giants chasing us as we run down a dirt path in the garden. This dream repeats twice or thrice featuring different versions (ages, genders, ethnicities, other factors changed) of both me and the girl. Very vivid and very surreal.

I'm at a store getting various items (I remember some onion bread buns in a bag that I got IWL from Walmart). I get some impulse items that I know my fiancee will be mad at me about. It's a pretty long dream as I go down the aisles. Finally I go down the clearance/general/jam aisle, where I find a stack of fresh papers. Underneath the papers I find some that I've drawn on (during my visit or my past several visits). I try to consolidate them as they're spaced out between blank pages. Someone passes me in the aisle and notices one full-color one I've done, I look up and say it's nothing, then look back down and it's even more polished and is the cover to a small booklet or magazine (maybe a doujin). I consolidate them all and tuck them into the bottom for safe keeping.

I'm in a large bathroom with long white counters and four or five sinks stretching out to the right and left, separated by double doors. I'm at the sink closest to the door on the right counter. The stalls are behind us. There are some middle-aged men holding bags and placing their miscellany on the counters, it looks like stuff you would get in those cap-balls from the 25 cent machines (where you turn the handle). Mixed in are brass gears and writing utensils.



*With my ability to summon DCs, it seems like I pretty much pick them at random; I haven't thought about these people in years but for some reason my lucid mind thinks "Gee, I would love to see X random acquanitance." I suspect that as I get better about remembering dream goals and incorporating my awareness of waking life, I'll be able to make more logical/planned decisions within my lucids.

Sep 8

Long NL. I'm in my apartment complex's front yard and office area. My manager from work is there, along with some coworkers and random DCs. We are in school sdesks arranged in the parking lot, doing work on laptops. I see an email in red letters that says "failed", although I know the test was successful. The email gets sent out again with SUCCESS, and mentions something like "good job everyone", but I notice that it's not just an email, it's a meeting invite. My boss comes around and pats people on the back, telling us to "enjoy the long weekend" and mentioning that we can work from our beds. My fiancee is there as well (either as a worker or just as my fiancee) and calls this out as bullshit as we were already working overtime. Before or during there is also the understanding that I have to assassinate someone.

Dream scene changes and I'm in a room walking towards a door. My dog is there and so is my fiancee. I am holding my dog as I pass through a door. I become lucid! I keep telling myself "I'm lucid" and "I'm dreaming" but don't do any RCs. I see a small door (like a dumbwaiter) and consider using it to teleport to my dream world I've been incubating, but for some reason I hesitate and don't (don't know if this was a conscious decision). Instead I go with the flow of the dream.

The scene shifts. I'm still holding my dog, and I think "he's the best". I'm in a somewhat cluttered room now, and I understand that I need to kill all of the DCs here. I do some jedi mind tricks to make sure they don't resist, and they work. I tell them I'm dreaming and they all react in a friendly way. Each time I go to kill one of them, it seems like they go through the 5 stages of grief for themselves in front of my eyes, always ending up at "acceptance" before dying. I kill 2 of them, and then decide to use ice powers*. At first I was intending for Skyrim ice shards, but it came out as more of a stream of icy powder/wind from my fingertips. My thumb and forefinger are pressed together and the way the stream of ice comes out is something like when you put your thumb over a garden hose to spray pressured water at someone. As I'm pondering this I go into intense visualizations of the streams, and there are 3D mesh outlines of the stream and its "weather patterns" overlain on my vision, like a series of oblong lines. The visualization shifts to a long sawblade with teeth marked with numbers. As I mentally change the number from 8 to 2 and adjust it by notches, I see the angle and strength of the stream change.

The scene shifts to a security cam view, and as I press my left thumb and forefinger together, I can send ice shards from the camera, although they're not reliable. The camera reminds me of the show Person of Interest. After this I'm transmitted into the room. There is a blue tint to the room, and I look around and see some DCs. I walk out of a door behind me and peer into the hallway (very bright incandescent light and white walls and floors), then I go back into the blue room. I tell the DCs "I'm dreaming" and again as I approach them they go through stages of grief. I do this to a couple of DCs then walk through a doorway/archway. Above the archway are two drill bits. I jump up and grab them. I test one on a wall and it drills right through, despite having barely any threads (it was basically an ice pick). I go up to an old lady DC and say "I'm dreaming". She looks at me with sadness and says "We'll take care of each other/ourselves", then I wake up.

The dream lasted around 2-3 minutes and was very vivid. I was lucid and aware the whole time, but it still felt like a guided/directed dream.

Longer NL -- I'm a young boy who is somehow a vertical venetian blind(???). I am on a quest with a young girl, we're descending into a deep level of some underground building, with a furnace and monsters. Her face doesn't seem real, more like a porcelain doll or something. We arrive and there's a giant hydra in a brightly lit room. It has a "cement burning rocket" that's burning me and melting my armor. The girl is wrapped up in one of the hydra's necks or tentacles. I back away and reach a closet with the venetian blinds. They tell me or some other voice tells me that I am one with the blinds.

I had a few other NLs and fragments. In one, I'm in my grandpa's house and there's a weird square baby with thin, posable arms. It reminds me of BMO from Adventure Time. It was a premature. The parents are proud. There's an old lady to my left who looks like my aunt, who's wearing a white shirt with gold lettering. I note it, it's in different languages (Chines, Latin, Greek) together. At some point I had my midget intruder FA again, but it was very hazy and I yelled "Fuck you!" or "I'll kill you!" loudly and it fades quickly. In another fragment, I'm Dexter and Rita is dropping in the pool next to me. I'm supposed to be enjoying it, but I'm Dexter so I hate it. I say something like "Rita, the water is going like 20 mph". Scene shift to Deb and Quin, Deb's in a room playing with a reclining bicycle for toddlers and Quin comes in and says something while smiling and laughing. Next scene, Deb is driving a bus, Rita and I and the kids are in there. She's taking a risky corner under an interstate high rise. I don't see the bus flip, but I understand it does. Rita scolds Deb in that annoying way she does. Finally, I have the transparent eyelids effect, I can see my room clearly and thought I heard my fiancee calling me, when I move my waking body my head is under the blanket and I go downstairs to find my fiancee watching TV, turns out she didn't call me.



*I don't know if this counts as the "Breathe an element" goal

Was crawling inside a cave that was too small but I was fortunately enough to fit through it. As I got to the end of it I made it in to a library. The library was wide and had numerous people reading and talking quietly to each other. I became lucid when I left the cave to the library. I roam around and notice a group seeming to have a interesting conversation.

There was 3 people at the table one girl in a grey hoodie, one guy with a red t-shirt and I was not able to see the other person clearly. The two I could see were talking and I decided to interrupt them to ask questions. I eventually went to the back and notice I was holding a doll in my hands. A teacher came and told me that doll is too old now and that I should leave it on the ground.

I eventually lose lucidity at this point.