lucid

Continuing to play catch-up by focusing on my favorites and just brief descriptions of the others.
(Posting pictures first then will come back to finish)

In the last lucid I thought to myself "This is the 4th LD tonight, amazing!" one LD was with son's girlfriend. 1st LD was in the one in the large stately interior floating around

and finding the beautiful and perfect bodied brunette hesitant at first.

After that short hesitation we make out and have sex, particularly intrigued with how realistic and amazing her butt felt. The last LD was probably an FA as I was laying and see my son naked and did an RC where my hands look normal the first two or three glances and finally I was able to get the visual of an extra finger!

from there I float up drop my shorts and fly saying to myself well that definitely confirms that I'm dreaming! I fly around a bright sunny beautiful green landscape with some buildings intermixed

and I play around with the idea a body part is swinging around to knock down things on the ground! I see this one building with huge video screens and one has a beautiful Asian model and another has a some ethnic dancer maybe Latin and sexy.

I swoop around planning to fly into one of the scenes but am forced just above the screen so I swoop back around landing on the ground and walk into the screen with confidence. I end up in a scene outside of a club or bar that has a small concert but different people playing instruments

and a group sitting up against the wall one of them is a younger woman that looks cute. I go into the place and I remember to rub my hands together and I also clap kind of loud, interesting. I walk around looking for a cute girl and I come across this blonde and we start talking and I said hello are you Danish and she says no I am Russian I was just looking at this Danish poster. we start kissing and her breath is a little bit strange maybe like she's a smoker. that goes away and we get kinky there in front of everyone!

Counted this series of LD's as #344-347.

6/24/15 On a long free fall from a water slide tube ride, expecting to get knocked out, I land softly and look back and up and see others on the ride and ending by flying down on parachutes when I think to myself this has to be a dream. I look at my hands to confirm. I don't get very far before waking to my alarm. #343

6/21/15 naked with wife; later hear what sounds like small explosion in kitchen, cabinets and pipes busted, water leaking onto floor thinking "please let this be a dream!" I think this is the first time thinking such a thought in such a worried state. Look at hands to confirm. I find Girl Friday and you know the rest! #341-342

Can't edit to add tags…saves time I guess.

So first, I dreamed my cousin, her friends and I were at a toy store when we were younger. Apparently, in the dream, my aunt (who lives in Hawaii) was living in our neighborhood. I asked her if she wanted to come along to the store. She says "Sorry, I can't be in this dream, I'm busy." For some reason, I didn't realize I was in a dream, even after she said that! So we went to the toy store. Stuff happened, Blah blah, and I woke up to sleep paralysis. I think. Or a false awakening, in a drem... But everything was so in detail, but blurry. I saw one of those things that hangs up pictures. I thought it was a little hole. Anyway, I couldn't see my hands, because I couldn't move. But I felt like I could move my hands. So I did a couple of reality checks. I tried to push my finger through my other palm, and it felt like it worked, But I wasn't sure. So I closed my eyes, plugged my nose (or felt like my hands were plugging my nose) And closed my mouth. Apparently I could breathe, and I tried to move my head. I sorta figured out how, for some reason a voice in my head said to "Imagine my head is a disc, and a DJ is moving it". I tried it, and I guess it worked! I turned into a dog, and my sister into a cat, and I don't remember what happened. Then, I turned into a Zayn Malik- looking guy, and after that, I lost lucidity.-

it's been a while, goodness. i haven't even been all that busy. but onto some dream stuff!

i'm going off to college for the first time this saturday so recently i've been having a lot of college dreams, as well as dreams about senior year events. as many as i've had it's been hard convincing my subconscious to take these situations as dream signs, so! lucidity hasn't happened in a school dream yet

but i did become lucid last night in a dild fashion! it was a ridiculously simple dream. i was just sitting on my bed when i suddenly felt the need to look at my hands. without my glasses they looked normal, but with my glasses on they seemed to have only three fingers each (maybe because i wear my glasses nearly every moment of the day?). i wasn't able to change the dream scene, but i did change the time of day to night, which made it easier for me to think clearly! not very eventful, but definitely a valuable experience in trying to command my dreams.

Did WILD, arrived outside my Nan's house. It was a bright, sunny day. I looked at the other houses lining the street and I saw that their design was vastly different to the real houses. In an instant, and without any fanfare or beautiful lights, the purpose behind this new design became apparent, as they were in fact large boats. The ground below and around them instantly became water and they sailed for a bit. I turned around and looked at my Nan's house. It too was different, but it was stationary and large and resembled a shopping centre more than anything else. I remembered my dream task and attempted to fly into space, to find a black hole. I failed and the world started fading out. I attempted to will clarity back, but failed at that too.

I found myself in my room, and convinced I had woken up, went on my laptop. I searched (God knows why) for humans acting as animals (can't recall the exact search term). The first link I encountered was for a TV tropes page called "elephantra". I intuitively knew it was an invented word and looked at the side of my laptop to discover the charging cable was plugged in. In real life, my sister had it. (She broke her own, so, we share). My laptop was also dead in real life and this was enough to make me lucid. Sadly, I woke up (for real, this time).

It’s about time I got back into my journalling. I haven’t really had any super special dreams that are worth journalling, but as the movie quote goes “if you build it, they will come.” So here goes nothing.

I’m at this middle school, already lucid. I’m talking with a friend, who apparently considers me a superhero because of the powers I have in the dream. Apparently I look the part too, as I have a long, black cape on. He asks me to show some of them off to him, and I happily oblige. I get a running start and take off flying. For the first time in a long time, I’m actually flying really fast, and enjoying every minute of it. After a while, I start to hit a strong headwind, and am basically floating in the air and making no forward progress. I decide to grab my cape and manipulate it into a parachute-like contraption to give me some extra height. My plan works perfectly, and it feels pretty awesome too. The whole scenario reminds me of the capes from Super Mario World.



After a while the winds subside, and I continue flying normally. However, at one point I realize that I’ve slowed down and am now flying backwards. I push harder to gain more speed, but I continue to fly backwards. I turn around to see this evil-looking guy behind me in the parking lot with a gravity gun of sorts, which is pulling me towards him. I turn around in mid-air and stop fighting the pull of the gun, which causes me to slingshot towards him at a high speed. I extend out my fist and deliver a super punch right to his face. He flies backwards and the gun falls out of his hands. I get back on my feet and prepare to fight him. He instead uses his gravity-controlling gloves to pick up a dumpster nearby and slam it into me. I hit the ground hard. As I start to get up, he pulls out this small device that looks like a Pip-Boy from Fallout.



He starts explaining that the device generates an infinitely strong gravitational field, and will destroy the world within a matter of minutes. Before I can stop him, he turns it on. The device instantly fires up, and causes a massive distortion in the scenery around it. It starts sucking in everything like a vacuum. I watch as the black hole devours a couple trees, a car, and two innocent bystanders. I start to get sucked in myself, but quickly put a ton of effort into flying away from it. It takes a lot of energy, and I realize I’m quickly getting tired, so I grab a spot on the concrete and hang on for dear life. I don’t remember exactly how, but I somehow manage to stop the machine, which causes everything to return to normal. Shortly after this, I wake up.

So I had a lucid dream yesterday after laying down for a nap. It only lasted a few seconds in dream time. So, My family and I were in an environment that looked to be a cruise ship. I became lucid when I realized there were two of my sister. The one on the left pounced on me, and I woke up.

early sort of vague, long BTS after a short WBTB, followed by a mega-TOTM top-5 (maybe best ever) LD

Note: I listened to PercyLucid's MILD audio class all the way through this week, and have taken up several of his suggestions and his mantra "I will have lucid dreams TONIGHT, or VERY SOON!" I do his MILD, holding a still mental image of my desired dream scene in my head as I fall asleep. I've been doing it for about half a week at this point.

Betime: midnight-ish. Glass of red wine some hours earlier (4?) at dinner. One Opti-Men multivitamin around 3-4pm.

06:11, ~3 minutes of voice notes

+ standing among statue/memorials, where the shape of the stone is a language conveying a message ("Hindu"). In particular the place where the column narrows in diameter and then widens out again has some sort of special meaning. I read "pardo" chiseled into one of the columns (they're about 4 feet high).

+ several big bags of galantamine capsules have arrived from Amazon, and a bag of small round B6 tablets. The boxes were opened (I guess by my wife), and the big see-through plastic baggies (Halloween candy bag sized) are lying there on my bed along with the Amazon invoice. The galantamine capsules are large, about the size of my current Alpha-GPC capsules (which are real horse pills, it takes eating bread/drinking water to get them down). I put some in my mouth and start chewing them? I wonder if I have time left in my dreaming night to take some or if it's too late.

Looking at the fine, thick, luxurious paper that Amazon uses for printing invoices, and the detailed high quality printing, I realized this is why I use Amazon, for this level of detail & quality.

+ circular cushion, it has to last a lifetime, one kid is jumping up and down and I severely discipline it, it gets progressively younger as I do so until it becomes an infant and rolls off on to the ground; two families different religious traditions are sharing this circular couch thing, it's OK with one family because their attention is usually focused outwards, you're not supposed in their tradition to use the middle part.

I'm wandering in and out of sleep as I review the prior dreams.

WBTB, BTS

It takes about an hour to get back to sleep it feels like. Need to put on a sleep mask as the room is too light now.

08:51, ~16 minutes of voice notes

+ LD #133 (TOTM advanced I & bonus success): KILD

I'm in a fairly dark area with people, I hear (students and teachers?) talking about math, I remember hearing "N-squared". I seem to be re-entering this area, and notice in front of me a teacher lady lying on a reclining garden/beach lounge chair, facing me. She's by herself. I go towards her, lean down over her in order to kiss her, and as my face approaches hers I get lucid. I continue in for a quick kiss on the lips and say "I'm dreaming!" I get up and head up a stairway to the left, saying "I didn't go up here last time through". There is a very wide open platform up there. Up ahead along a long wall stretching along the platform is an open door, and I enter.

Band Practice (TOTM basic I missed opportunity):
Inside is a large, wide, but not deep, well-lit band room. Most of the room is off to my left (the door is on the right edge of the room). There to the left on a series of risers are the band student musicians (seems like high school aged) sitting with their instruments. I look for a guy playing (my instrument), and see him in the 3rd/4th row up, and call to him to show me his instrument. He holds it up and I nod, "nice. What's your name?" I ask, "Norman," he answers (delay not too long, sometimes my DCs don't know their names well!). "I'll be back later" I say and head out the door, starting to think of TOTM.

Moon (TOTM Advanced-II)-fail:
I try to remember my TOTM task cheer song, and all I can remember at first is the rhythm. Argh! I finally remember the moon rock task. I decide I will grab a chunk of the moon and eat it. I look up into the night sky, slightly hazy, but with lots of distinct stars, the background is not totally black. I clearly see the stars at high resolution, and notice several satellites lazily making a straight path from one side of the vision to the other. I follow one's progress for a few seconds enjoying the view. I will the moon to appear, several times, but it does not appear.

I am now in the backyard of my childhood home, still looking up at the sky for the moon. I start to hear my mother's voice.

Mom:
I hear her voice clearly, like she was standing next to me. I know she's in the house. I'm now floating fairly high over the house looking down, and am amazed at the clarity and accuracy of her voice. Sometimes voices in my dreams do not sound right, but this is perfect. She is speaking coherently but I do not remember anything that she said, she's talking to my father. I'm trying to get down to the house and have some trouble, I have to air-swim a bit. The house is not right: it appears to be a sort of a modern, multi-section compound with rooms of differing shapes from above. Then I'm on the deck at the back door, still hearing her voice, and I enter, go through the kitchen, and expect to see her there and see her walking through the dining room heading towards the living room, her back is to me. I get really happy, finally I'm going to see her in a dream!
(in waking life she passed away two months ago).
I follow and enter the dining room, imagining her being really happy to see me. She turns and sees me and I open my arms wide, (I'm wearing a light jacket and quickly unzip it and hold up my arms with the ends of the jacket, kind of like bat wings), and she comes to me and I give her a big hug, kissing her cheek and I tell her "I really miss you!" I see her and her face clearly. She seems young. Either she or my dad answers, and says something like now it is time for me to be with my father.

Mom saves a FA:
I find myself waking, and I still hear my mother's voice. If I can still hear her voice, that means I'm still dreaming! I have no visuals and decide to slowly "open my eyes." I seem to be in my childhood home's living room still, with something on my head, like sheets or a blanket. I sit up and stand up. I try for a little bit while walking forwards towards the kitchen to take the thing off that feels like a towel wrapped around my head, but I can't get it off, it's like a really really long sheet is hanging there and I just can't get it off. I decide just ignore it (and then it stops bothering me). My mother is standing at the doorway between the dining room and the living room just on the kitchen side. She looks really young, thin, healthy, and happy. Shes wearing a bright lipstick, orange-ish. I say "you look like you're doing great!" while I stand close to her with my hands on her waist, and something like "we will meet again!".

Dinos! (TOTM Advanced-I success):
After seeing my mother, I go out on the deck and ask my sister to take me to show me where the dinosaurs are
(asking DCs to do stuff for me is fast becoming my favorite dream control method).
She takes me to the corner of the deck and I look down and see weird beasts walking down the stairs to the backyard lawn (in particular notice one big black quadruped freaky looking thing walking down). I go down off the end of the deck and mount some small furry thing that I think is actually a movie monster of some sort. I'm a bit concerned about this not counting since I don't think this is a dinosaur. I ride it down the stairs to the lawn. There I imagine and see a medium-sized Trex there battling with a medium-sized King Kong. They're both between 15-20 feet tall: definitely big, but not immense. I jump and land expertly on the back of the T-rex. I imagine a faintly strange beastly odor. I'm sitting fairly high on its back/lower neck, and urge it forward to run up the stairs because I'm concerned about Kong. I urge it and imagine it running really fast, I'm "pushing" it forwards by "pushing on the reins" and it's leaping up the stairs towards the street but it just doesn't get going fast enough to please me, Kong is still chasing. Up on the street Kong attacks and I jump/fall away...

Black Hole (TOTM Bonus, success):
... and (am in the void? Rub hands for a while, feel them, dream is solid, visuals return), I'm in a garage (childhood home?), I exit and turn to the right (180 degrees) and there is a large open plaza full of college-aged young people ahead of me. I try again to remember the full TOTM cheer song and I again can only remember the 2nd half (advanced) and "...Black Hole! Black Hole! Raa raa Raa!" I've already done one advanced, so why not? I decided to summon a black hole and jump in. I walk forwards a bit to get where the crowd starts, I hold out my hands straight in front of me and pull them apart quickly, imagining a massive black sphere appearing: instead something big dark and round flashes and disappears. OK, again! (I wonder what the students will think of the black hole!) I put my arms together, pull them apart quickly, and this time a large sphere appears solidly before me which I know is the black hole. Only it's partially reflective mirror-surfaced, which I think is fine because everybody knows that light plays funny tricks around black holes. I dive forwards into it and try to feel the sensations. I don't feel much, after a brief disorientation I find that I'm inside a sphere sort of like a one-way mirror, I can see out but people can't see in. There is a filtering effect looking out like sunglasses. The party is going on all around me in the plaza still and everyone is ignoring me. The black hole is about the same size inside as outside (about 8-10 feet in diameter, tall enough to stand in). There's a girl standing near the edge of the black hole on the outside and I pull her in (and kiss her?). The dream wavers/I enter a bit of the void and call for a DC to take my hand and pull me out, and "John" does just that, and the dream continues from there...

John and boobs:
I asked for a DC to take me by the hand and lead me from the Black Hole sphere, and a guy does grab my hand firmly and lead me out. We start walking together, I decide his name is "John." As we're walking through the crowd, a girl comes towards us .

Spoiler for sexy stuff:

I grab her and hold her by the shoulders and sort of push her along in front of us (she seems slightly uncooperative but doesn't make a fuss), I start squeezing her boobs through her clothing. Double handed at first with my left arm around her back. Then I decide to let John have the left boob and tell him to take it and I stick with the right one. I think I stripped her top off or at least exposed her breasts, but I was on purpose not staring at her so as to keep the dream going and it seemed to work great. Then we approach a table with some other people mulling around, and decide to have sex with her together with John, hoist her up on the table and the dream fades. In the void. I try an interesting variant on "hand rubbing" and start pulling my "ahem." Definitely feels like dream body, so I'm still dreaming. It gets longer and longer, and seems fairly small diameter, but seems to be getting a bit hard. I want John to help me enter the girl.

Eventually I have John take my hand again and lead me back into the dream, works again, visuals return. I look at and touch briefly the edge of the table. Then I leave them both and move on down the path.

Girl outside:
I've lost a bit of lucidity, I'm standing outside a door to a building, as I move towards it a girl sitting on a bench calls to me "<redacted>" which gets my attention.

Spoiler for sexy stuff:

I instantly kneel down in front of her and pull off her pants. Looking at her sex organs it seems to waver to look male for a bit, I will it to return to girl and it does and I begin oral on her. I begin moving my tongue enthusiastically and start to feel the connection superimposed with my waking tongue

and this brings me back to full lucidity. I stop with her and enter the door in to the building.

Girl inside:
Inside is a large mostly empty space, I spot two girls sitting at a desk not far away. I head right for them and sit down, noticing the girl on the left and give her my attention.

Spoiler for sexy stuff:

As I sit down I reach for her body and rub her torso a little bit with my two hands. I'm close to her face and I look at her and appreciate her beauty and lean in for a kiss, I feel it well. I try for some tongue but again it starts to superimpose with my waking tongue so I stop that. I kiss her again with just lips, short, but really nice.

I move my gaze to look back up over my shoulder to the my left so as not to stare at her too long, I catch a scene of some busy detail outside the door I came in through.

I stand up quickly and take her hand and lead her away, just desiring to be in motion. I'm holding her left hand with my right, and I start swinging our arms while we walk. <Something about a vending machine?> The dream starts to fade and I use contact with the girl to come back and continue a bit:

Spoiler for sexy stuff:

I stick my right ring finger in her mouth and push it in and out a bit, I feel the warmth and wetness of her mouth. Then the same with my middle finger then the same with my index finger, telling her to really suck hard and she does.

This brings me back into the dream. I then get the great idea to

Spoiler for sexy stuff:

repeat with my (ahem), I place it in her mouth and tell her to suck hard, I start to feel it and I see her face down there with my (ahem) in her mouth

and the dream fades, this time it feels like for good, so I start gathering my recall and prepare to record.

Awake, Non-lucid dream, Lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

[Sorry this post is so fragmented. Lately, I seem to be able to recall individual dream scenes, but not the transitions between them. I don't remember specifically when or how I became lucid last night, either.]

I'm in a shop filled with soft slippers, which are all hung on a giant, high white wall display as well as family formal wear in the section furthest back. I see a pair of soft, purple thong slippers that I really want, but I have to ask the store clerk to get them down from the wall for me.

I'm at the Matterhorn in Disneyland. I look up and see people emerging from a hole in it, and standing on the terraced stage built into the south side. There are stairs leading down from the and into the mountain. There are a whole bunch of people up there; they're all part of a wedding party and are posing for a picture. [I think I may have become lucid at this point, or maybe it was at the beginning of this scene, I don't remember.] I come closer and see that there is an open space in the bottom of the mountain, which is set up as a wedding chapel. I look up from it into the hollow, rocky interior of the mountain, thinking that the roller coaster track must spiral around the outside. There's someone kneeling down at the front of the chapel space to pray; I feel like I ought to do the same, but I decide to keep on walking out of the chapel and keep exploring.

I enter another building of some kind, where there is a woman sitting behind a desk. She talks to me at length about something [I don't recall what]. Fully lucid by this point, I say in a rather rude and snippy tone, "I'm leaving to find something more interesting to do." I turn and walk out the door. [I work in tech support; I have to be nice to people I talk to on the phone. I'm not surprised that I was inclined to be snippy toward one of my DCs; it's a good way to release stress and frustration without hurting a real person's feelings.]

I wander around outside in a city. I look at a handheld GPS device, and it shows me that I am at the edge of one of many irregularly-shaped city blocks, separated by streets that go in all different directions with no pattern. I observe aloud, "GPS works in a dream because I expect it to." Two adjacent blocks are labeled "Omaha" and "Paris," yet when I turn around and look up, I see what is clearly the tallest tower from the LA skyline. I smile at this juxtaposition and say, "I love the dream world."

At this point, the dream begins to fade, and I begin to be aware of my real body again. I think, "I don't want to wake up yet!" I try to visualize the dream environment I was just in. The mental image becomes clearer, and I successfully get back into the dream without having woken up fully. [Amazing! I've never had a dream re-entry that smooth or elegant before. I didn't know I could do that!]

I'm exploring the entrance to a long, narrow storage room in another house. The room extends off to the left of the narrow door. While trying to get something out, I accidentally cause the two layers of freestanding shelves that run the length of the room to collapse sideways and to the left. I step back and try to restore the shelves by snapping my fingers, like a Q from Star Trek. It doesn't work the first two times. I try to concentrate and focus my intentions more clearly and specifically on what I am trying to do, and then snap my fingers again. It still doesn't work.

My real-life friend JB and I are in a house that belongs to some intelligent dragons. He talks to the dragons for a bit, and then he leaves to continue the quest he's on. As he leaves the house, icons appear in the air around him, representing his current quest statistics (money, inventory, life points, goals achieved, and so on), like in a computer RPG.

Morning of August 9, 2015. Sunday.



This dream was definitely a form of remote viewing (likely metaphorical or skewed in some other way) since I recognized the perspective and layer of consciousness quite clearly. Although precognitive dreams have quite discernible layers as such (which was one of the reasons I started dream work from age six in the first place), they are often muddled composites (for example, of movies not yet seen or books not yet read combined with personal real life events). However, it did not resolve yet as such. About a year ago, a similar event relating to a website was exact (literal) and another type of “unexplainable” event happens continuously related to similar dream content, which I sometimes tag with “dream journal synchronicity”. Although precognition and remote viewing seem related to synchronicity at some levels, I am still not sure of the mechanisms involved even after experiencing it continuously for nearly fifty years (not just from day to day, but from hour to hour, though particularly more intense in the period from September 1990 to January 1994 in the path to my marriage).

At any rate, once again I dream of a website, in this case, some sort of muddled combination of two websites, it seems, or it could be the one website with a filtered perspective (such as the two versions of the remote-viewed Nancy comic strip I had no way of knowing about seen together as one composite at one point). As remote viewing dreams do not follow the same “rules” as other dreams (in that you can clearly read what you see - and it never changes or distorts - unlike other dream types), I can surmise the meaning on another level, I suppose.

I go to the webpage and in the upper left panel (below the titles and such), is a message in plain text. I have the understanding that the website has been bought or is now under the administration of another group of people. I sense that this other group of people who now run the website do not understand English very well. They have apparently changed the usernames of all the members of the site (including those who have not posted in a long time) for whatever reason.

The text on the screen says (after some generic information about the website changes) “Your new username is Immaterial”. I find that somewhat irritating as this means that none of the posters will know each other at first if everyone has different usernames (though there is no focus on what other usernames might have been changed to).

This could mean several different things. "Immaterial” can mean “unimportant under the circumstances; irrelevant”. However, it could also mean “spiritual, rather than physical”. I can say that my name is already spiritual (even though an opossum is an actual animal). The “blue” is the blue Merkaba and the opossum is my totem (though which I first thought was a fox at around age four as I only saw the eyes in the trees) and the representation as a heart (that is, heart-shaped head). The opossum was also one of thousands of validations in that my dream girl was to have a pet opossum, and of course she did at our first contact (though it was an Australian opossum).

Morning of August 7, 2015. Friday.



A child is at a door and cannot quite reach the doorknob (which is atypically high). I only see her silhouette.

“Here, let me get that for you…” She is gone. I hear the sound of the beanbag chair breaking. It is, as always, remote viewing.

I hate to interrupt an artist. Carroll (who looks eerily like my brother-in-law but only from some angles and only at certain times) acknowledges my presence with a respectful nod.

“What do you see?” He asks.

I find myself in a continuously changing three-dimensional landscape that is like a “real” version of “Zoo Scene”. I see what looks like giant butterflies fly about in and out of the structure. I enjoy the imagery for several minutes.

It becomes the real version. I see something that, once I see it, I cannot “unsee” it.

It is a “shark fin” within the structure that is in reality, the road going away from behind the structure. “A predator…” Carroll acknowledges me respectfully and nods.

“You are not to blame for every disadvantaged soul…or for any life ever taken,” he says.

I would tend to agree. Love and respect. In every place. In every time.

Finally! After two weeks of trying to lucid dream once again, I finally have another one. As usual, I woke up before sunrise and went back to sleep, reminding myself to do reality checks if I dream.

The Dream

The dream started off as a false awakening nightmare. I was lying on my bed in the dark and there were these figures in the shadow talking about how much they hate me because all my weaknesses and insecurities. They talked about how much they hated me and that my roommates are trying to kick me out because they are starting to dislike me. Then I tell myself to stay calm - this is just a dream.

I floated on up and out of my bed to use the bathroom. I did another reality check by looking at my hands. My fingers were deformed; it must be a dream then because my fingers aren't broken in real life. I looked into the bathroom mirror and saw that my hair was gray and my skin was wrinkly; this must be a dream since I'm much younger in real life. I jumped and try to fly, but could not - it felt too real. Next, I decided to open the closet. I tried to imagine something magical. But there wasn't: There was a teddy bear on the top rack and a glass of red wine in the lower one.

I was apprehensive about drinking the wine since I don't know what will happen after. Why did my subconscious offer me a teddy bear and a glass of red wine? Why did I turn into an old man with deformed hands? I don't know what possessed me about I held the large wine glass with two hands, bowed to the closet, and gulped it down as though it were an antidote. I blanked out.

Dream Signs: Looking into the mirror. Hand/finger check. Nightmare.

Interpretation: A very literal reflection of my fears and insecurities.

I was with my boyfriend in a really big building which somehow I knew was a bank. We were going down some stairs when something made me question my reality, so I looked at my hands and I saw a few more fingers than usual. I must have expressed my surprise somehow, because he asked me what was going on. I told him I was dreaming and I would try one of DV's ToTM which I had in mind: eating a moon rock. I got very excited because I would have the wings for the 8th of August, which is the day when exactly two years ago I had my first lucid dream.

At this moment I felt the dream fading away, probably because of the excitement, but I was determined not to lose this chance. When I awoke, I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on going back into the same dream. After a few seconds, I felt a strange sensation, as if my body was physically going through some kind of portal, and suddenly I was in the dream, lucid, again. I concentrated to make it look as similar to the other dream as possible and I succeeded. I then decided to go to one of the windows, which led to a terrace, and I imagined what a moon rock would look like. A white-greyish rock, the size of a tennis ball and with an uneven surface, appeared and I picked it up. I took a bite. The texture was earthy, as if it were soil (so to speak) and it was bitter in taste. I made a wry face and I put the rock down.

I suddenly became lucid during a regular dream when I looked down and noticed my hands looked strange. I was in a house... again. This time I didn't feel trapped, but I felt hopeless and unable to do anything, with no dream control at all. I walked through the house, intending to go outside, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw a square hole cut into the wooden floor. It was just big enough to climb down, and it seemed to radiate evil and darkness, with a staircase going down it... so I went down it. It seems I have this weird fearlessness in my dreams that I fail at in real life. I think its my determination to find what I want, like I'm so sick and tired of my lucids not working that I've stopped giving a fuck about nightmare things. They're only in my way, after all. As I walked down the stairs to the bottom, I turned the corner and the first thing I saw was a spider web with crazy things in it, like the big black scribble I remembered seeing on a nightmare creature in a dream a few weeks ago. I kept walking, down a huge wide hallway that was dusty with a hard packed dirt floor. It was dark but I could see a little in the distance. There was a tall, lanky grey alien standing a little bit ahead of me, and he moved closer, blinking in and out, without actually moving his body. When he finally got to me, I was just like FUCK YOU and slapped out my hand, and he turned transparent and faded away. I continued walking. I was looking for Seru to come break me free, but I was frustrated that I couldn't find him and he wasn't showing up when I called. Then I felt my dream fading and I returned to my waking body, but I lay perfectly still and attempted to re-enter the dream.

As I lay there, I went into sleep paralysis while waiting which just kept going and going until I finally gave up. But when I opened my eyes and sat up, I found I was back in the dream. It was super unstable though, so I focused on my surroundings, feeling things and noticing the sounds and smells... dank and musty. I was touching a metal bar or table and it was cold and hard. I continued down the hallway and came to an opening that was on the right side of the hallway. It was some kind of balcony open to the evening sky and the sun was going down. The ground outside was almost pitch black but the sun was bathing the balcony in a nice orange glow. But I couldn't get off it and go outside. I turned around toward the hallway and looked down it and figured I'd just sit and wait for Seru since that always seems to work. Arrogant domineering asshole, always wanting to be the initiator in any situation... Just then I saw some sunlight breaking through the hallway ceiling, illuminating it with rays of light and, and he was standing far down at the end of the hallway. He moved towards me but I couldn't see his face then, because it was in the shadow. When he came close, he jumped into the air and flew past me quickly, through the balcony into the evening sky. I jumped up and flew after him, breaking through the house and off the balcony as well. I flew behind him for a while, even though he was going pretty damn fast and I had a hard time catching up to him. But I was able to slowly catch up and fall in beside him... I was afraid he'd look over at me and have some creepy nightmarish face since I'd found him in the nightmare basement, but once I was parallel with him, he looked over at me with a smile and he looked regular. I guess moods and setting doesn't have any effect on a dream guide. I was so damn happy that he broke me out of the house again that I reached over and kissed him... it was a really vivid kiss, and felt real. Which was weird, because I can still imagine the feeling. When I did that, he stopped and wrapped his arms around me (what a sweetie. still an arrogant asshole though) We did some fun pervy things, but then I remembered I wanted to ask him something, so I asked if he really was my dream guide or if the last time I asked him was just a fluke. He reassured me that he was, but then he stopped and gave me a strange look, and I realized the dream was fading away again. Never got to finish my pervy stuff. Pityyyyyy.

I got up at 3:15 and tried for a WILD. I laid there and laid there and felt the time pass and pass...until I finally saw the sky outside my window brighten. I was pretty discouraged. But this was the first morning in a long time where I was going to be able to sleep in. I finally decided that if I kept trying for a WILD, I would just stay awake. So I decided to just get into the most comfortable position and just try to sleep and hope for a DILD. I often have that happen when I can't WILD.

As I was drifting off, I heard my dog barking. It was making me angry, because I really needed to go to sleep and not be bothered by barking. I finally got up and went outside. I was surprised to see that there were at least 6 other dogs that had gotten into the back yard. No wonder my dog had been barking. But when I looked for him I couldn't see him among the other dogs. Suddenly the yard was full of kids and teenagers. They helped me get the dogs out of the yard and would help me find my dog. As we went down the road I saw the that number of dogs had increased to about a dozen or so.

Something about this wasn't right. And really, who were these people I was with? Could I be dreaming? It suddenly seemed much more likely that I was dreaming then walking down the road with all these random dogs and people. I took a jump up....and continued to fly.

Yes!

I very quickly remembered my goal of practicing all my bending skills. I flew to a big tree and sat on a large branch. I cupped my hands in front of me and concentrated on making fire. At first nothing happened. I wasn't too worried because fire is the easiest one for me, and I have had quite a lot of practice over the years at creating fire. So I continued to concentrate and soon saw little heat waves coming up off my hands. With a little more concentration I saw a little fire form within my cupped hands. That was good enough for me. I wanted to move on to water.

I looked at my hands. The fire slowly faded away and in it's place I saw that my hands were filled with water. That was easier than I thought it could be. I have only one memory of water bending in all my lucid dreams and that was years ago--and that cup of water had already been on the table. So I was thrilled that the water just came to be. Now for the next part. I concentrated again on the small pool of water in my hands. Soon I saw a section of water start to snake up. I pulled it with my mind and made it twist and turn. I finally made it head to my mouth where I drank it all down (that had been my plan all along--and it was quite satisfying--the more interaction with the water, the better, I say). I then saw Jeff next to me. He said he was hot. I filled my hands with water again, and this time focused on it until it became ice. It was not quite solid, still kind of slushy, but still intact enough for me to pick it up with one hand and give it to Jeff. He seemed happy with it so I moved on.

I saw that I was in the park next to the airport. I flew over to the fence and saw some small rocks sitting on the fence. I concentrated until those pebbles floated over and into my hands. I then formed a dust devil and those rock went swirling up into the very small dust devil in my hands.

I felt very satisfied that I had been able to do all four elements. At this point I think I had a false awakening. Or I lost lucidity.

I was in what was supposed to be my backyard. I was looking at my tomato plants. I noticed that I had a lot of ripe tomatoes. Many more than I had remembered seeing before. I then noticed that my squash plants were also covered in these big cool looking squash, some orange and other pink with green on one end. As excited as I felt seeing all the squash, part of me started doubting. Again, I decided that there was more chance of me being in a dream than all these squash suddenly growing in my yard (had I even planted squash this year?). No, I was dreaming again. And that was okay.

I suddenly thought about all the bending I had just done. I wasn't quite finished. I wanted to make a bigger dust devil. I concentrated on the ground in front of me and made a 6-7 foot dust devil appear. At first it was just made from random dust and debris. But then I wanted to be creative. I used my mind to lift some reddish colored sand at the base of the dust devil. I watched as it started to swirl slowly up the dust devil. It was so fascinating that I did it again with more sand. Then again. The dust devil had all these swirling stripes, spinning and spinning. I focused again and made the patterns even more complex. It was beautiful, intricate, and so symmetrical. I was in awe.

But then I remembered my next goal which was to summon some new music by Angels and Airwaves. I had been wanting to do this for a while. I hadn't been successful the last time. I hope to be this time. I saw Daniel next to me. I asked him if he had a radio or music player of sorts. He said yes, and pulled out this funny orange and yellow colored box. He pushed a button and music started playing. I told him I needed to hear some Angels and Airwaves...but not just any old Angels and Airwaves, but something new. Something they hadn't created yet. He messed around with it. Several more songs came on, but none of it was what I was looking for. Then the dream faded. And I couldn't get back.

Awesome night. I'll never complain about getting up early to fix breakfast again…

earlier:

+ hailing the remote controlled car at a busy intersection, trying to get to the same curb on the street that it's driving on to meet it

+(f) my friend MR wants to apprentice for the master (guy), we both can't do it (so I'll have to drop out?), we say he may not be interested in a rank beginner, see a store with products on the shelves?

+ I'm at multiple laptops connecting to the net, with wife, transparent keyboards, connect, connect to networked ASCII game that my wife's brother is playing at his apartment, something about the asteroid material and special beings

make breakfast, then BTS, later:

+ LD #132: I'm standing outside in daylight of a white home, talking with TZ, who's leaving. I ask him how did he leave his work ("Are you retiring? Taking a sabbatical?"). After he leaves I enter the home, everything is white. I realize I haven't seen my dog L in a long time, I think he's gone/lost, I should have asked TZ about him before he left. I run crying hysterically through house that I can't find my old dog L, I imagine seeing his empty house, little poops around, then I stop & think maybe this isn't a tragedy, maybe I'm dreaming I do a nose pinch and can clearly breath. Now I'm lucid, I decide to do a TOTM. I try and try to remember a single TOTM task, I feel like they're all right there on the tip of my tongue and will come to me any second, but they just don't.

Spoiler for explicit sexual situations:

I notice a black girl leaning over a counter with her butt in my direction and all thoughts of the TOTM are gone. Always wanted to get with a black girl! I pull down her pants and try to enter her from the back. Things are a bit vague and don't quite fit. My (ahem) is sticking up out of her pointing in the air, and I grab a girl (or two?) to the left and tell her to take care of that with her mouth. The two new girls offer me to move to the cot to the right and for me to get on the bottom. I'm a bit surprised by this, girls usually don't take the initiative in sexy LDs. I ask "right over there, huh? OK" and move over there.

As I'm moving over there I notice there are a variety of odd-shaped clocks on the wall, and I think about clocks misbehaving in dreams, but I just glance at them and don't give them another thought.

Sexy time going on for a while with the two girls, I notice that this has been a fairly long experience, longer than usual. They're both down around my legs and they start to disappear. One of them comes up as if to mount me cowgirl style with her breasts hanging down over my face and I reach for them and think "this is good, this is a position I like to climax in."

The dream ends/transitions.

+ I'm next to a group of girls, sitting down against a wall.

Spoiler for sexual situations:

I lean down over them, moving my mouth to each of their's, the first several ones do not respond. The one to the left at the corner does respond with her lips and we start making out. A bit later I realize I'm still kissing her, and I'm moving my hips as if having intercourse with her with a weak sensation,

the dream ends

+ in room with friends, it's in friend MR's childhood room. There are boxes of things lining the far wall covered with a tarp, I think my things are in there but the group is covering them up (they want me to leave?). In the middle of the floor is a strange vita-mix blender. The base is normal sized, but the blender container is really small, just a few cups of capacity, I think that's a pretty useless vitamin.

Lying there on the ground towards the end of the room, I see MZ's (TZ's son) pile of sticks of gum (he likes Wrigley's Mint types, I have two of the white sticks). They've taken away the bed, don't want me around, I'm out in the hallway looking for the girl's room

+ donating typewriters to the Science museum, meeting with a guy at the front desk

+ son is sticking his face into the crotch of the (gymnast) when she spreads her legs, she's working out on the bottom bunk of bunk beds. Her back is to him so she can't see what he's doing. She's holding on to the upper bunk bed and doing the splits, that's when he sticks his nose right up against her butt. I tell him not to do that. Initially I'm from the side of the bed. Change position, I'm looking down the length of the bed now, and notice she's bottomless, and when she spreads I catch a glimpse of her (ahem) and a patch of dark pubic hair. She continues doing the splits and my sons jumps/falls in right with his head/nose stuck directly in her (ahem).

I'm naked wrapped in a yellow bath towel trying to figure out how to get with some girls. There's a group there, but they're leaving. I leave this place and enter pool area (through a door?). Immediately upon entering I see MZ (gum guy) riding a 4-wheel motorized vehicle built out of swimming pool noodles, I watch him drive away.

I arrive to another area, there's a big play rehearsal going on, I see my son in this fatigue sweats, my wife waves to me.

Two older middle-aged couples slide up on the snow from behind me (in the direction I came), the wives are riding on the slippery white bodies of their husbands on top of the snow.