nightmare

Recently, I have been having dreams where people are trying to kill me... sometimes I don't know who they are, but other times they're famous actors.

Last night's dream started with a storm coming. I was with my mother and another woman came over to prepare for the hurricane. All of the sudden, a bus pulls in front of the house. I realize now that the house is unknown to be. A large black man who is an actor in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (you know, the big funny chef guy) bangs open the door and pulls a gun on me. I managed to fight the gun away from him and shoot him. He kept coming at me, so I had to continue shooting.

When he finally stopped, someone else came to the door. I couldn't make out who it was until we fought for a few minutes, but I finally came to realize he was an old friend of mine. Every time I'd wrestle the gun away from him, he'd pull out another...

I woke as soon as there was a gun pointing me straight in the face, as I usually do...


What do these dreams mean? They frighten me.. I woke up screaming when they first started.
If anyone has any idea.... please share.I'm at a loss.

Iv'e had a couple of dreams when i was much younger about my mother injecting me with something with a syringe.

Dream 1.
We were at my great-grandmothers and there were a bunch of family members of mine there. I couldn't find my mom anywhere. So i go to look in the bedroom, i find my mom and my grandma doing something and i couldn't see what they were doing. My mom looks over her shoulder, she says "hahaha" and starts coming after me. In the front room, i fall down or i got tripped by someone, she injects me with something. I started screaming and pounding on the floor and looked up at everyone and nobody did anything but look at me. and that was it.

Dream 2.
It was me, my boyfriend (at the time), and my mom.
We were at this abandoned broken down house. There was stuff everywhere! My boyfriend was in one of the bedrooms. My mom was in the kitchen area. I went to go see what she was doing and she chased after me with a syringe in her hand. I actually made it to the bedroom where my boyfriend was. I got the door closed on her and my boyfriend tried putting furniture in front of the door to keep her out. It went quiet... Here she comes through another door! She tackles me to the floor and injects me with whatever she had. I cried and rolled around, felt helpless. The end.

Both dreams happened when i was about 16. My mom has always been my best friend and i hate needles!!

"Sometimes you look at the aftermath of a horrible event with a feeling of pride"

Had a semi lucid dream today. I had no real idea that I was dreaming other than the fact the l that the dream was a previous nightmare so I was walking through it remembering the fun times I had.


I don't know if I actually had this dream or not before but I do know that the monster chasing me was a T.Rex and I spawned a T.Rex yesterday.

The dream was a town that was pretty safe at the real time, but I kept having flashbacks to when I was being chased by the dinosaur. It was a mix off nostalgia, fear, and cheerfulness as I remembered each impossible thing I had to do to escape the dinosaur.

One of those tasks to escape the dinosaur was to run up a destroyed 3 story building and hide behind the small walls that remained while the dinosaur was just outside the building.

At the end of the dream I was in a line with a child missing his parents and I told him that his parents where still at their cousins house. I then imagined his parents killed by a group of adults and their corpses burnt so I believe that in the dream I was lying.

My dream started off with me at my home. My dad was trying to make something in the kitchen but I messed him up somehow than he told me to leave and I did. After doing something I don't remember I appeared at a apartment. A young cousin of mine told me I had to sleep there with them for the night. He said my brother called and said be careful because of the 1970's killer. That the 1970's killer came into the apartment before with a gun. Than my cousin showed me a gun. I was like OK... Than someone else said keep the door closed. Well, I was laying on the bed and turned to see someone sitting on a baby. I was like oh my god! Move! When was this baby here!? I grabbed the baby calming it down and the person next to me said they don't know. I than got up and left and found myself in my brothers room in the basement. I could see a 2 little girls and their mom but I felt somewhat transparent to them. I became aware I was dreaming and tryed to jump/fly upstairs without them seeing me. But the little girl turned to her mom and said she saw me. The little girl took a broom and tryed hitting me and so I got scared. Than a thought popped up. A long time ago when I wrote about a airplane dream on dream central the guy said it was good I didn't stay downstairs. So I thought it might be bad and ran for the stairs. But someone chased me from behind screaming no! Than grabbed me when I was on the stairs so close to reaching the top. She grabbed my stomach and held me tight. I actually felt real pain and I was like stop! Trying to get up. I looked up and I could see a basketball court with players but than I woke up. It turned out my neck was actually in pain and I could smell smoke. There was a fire somewhere I don't know but not close enough to where I live. So we were safe but my dad closed my window for me cause it smelled bad and I went back to sleep. It was like at 4 or 5 I woke up.

February 23, 2014

3:33 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I went to Japanese camp to teach, but when I got there together with my husband who was dropping me off, I was having second thoughts. I didn't want to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, no cell phone contact. So I had to confront my employers, who knew me since I went to Japanese camp as a teen. There was a Chinese male and a white female. Went to the back room offices to talk. At first small talk, but the Chinese man could tell something was wrong. I hugged him at one point since it's been a while since I've seen him. When I mentioned how I didn't think this was going to work, he said not all marriages work out. Then I said hold up, no, I'm talking about the job. We were confused over the word pre-meditated, or a word similar to that, which caused the misunderstanding. The word's definition in the dream eluded to something not working out, not the definition in waking life. He told me to reconsider working there and how it is only two weeks and my Japanese would improve a lot.

The lighting was very dim, like nighttime throughout the dream. I remember going out and reminiscing over the camp. Then I went over to a bunch of children's books that were about mythical native American or Inuit creatures in the snow. Theme of heritage, culture being passed down. I read one of the books, which had a theme of pride in one's culture. The book had a few foreign words in it, but not in Japanese. It could've been a book about the same content, but in Japanese, yet it wasn't. I didn't understand why.

Before I confronted my employers, there was another worker in the dream who when found out about the cell phone rule, also felt she couldn't do that. She was short, I think her hair was pulled back, dark hair. Not a language employee, instead another kind of staff. Her face kind of resembled my piano instructor's. She was encouraged to speak up after hearing that I wanted to and has a husband too. She's older than me.

I remembering arguing to the Chinese man that if only my husband could work that summer too, but couldn't because of his job, implying that he should hire him and pay him to solve things.

When contemplating, I was leaning my head on a wall or pole.

I was having second thoughts before we even left to go to the camp, which is states away, but still decided to drive there with my husband.

I felt sad to be conflicted. Loved Japanese camp so much, but had to choose between keeping my marriage strong (which could end up fine even if I did work at the camp) or working at a place I loved and grew from. Reminiscent, though setting not at all like the actual camp, as usual in dreams.

The white lady resembled my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor, who is pregnant in waking life and pregnant in the dream. Dream was in English and non-lucid.

I woke up with a song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf playing in my head. I immediately realized I had a dream when I woke up, wanted to record it and jumped to my dream journal.

Time after writing down this dream: 4:01am.

Mantra: 夢を見ることを分かっています (I will realize I'm dreaming) 野原に風で空を飛びたい (I will fly in a field using the wind)

I had asked my husband if he has had a flying dream before, and he said yes, many times. He recalled one in which he was being caught up by the wind in a field and flying really high. So I imagined using that method to fly.

4:07 am Haven't fallen asleep
4:15 am Still not asleep
4:40 am Still not asleep

6:02 am

Dream 1 MILD

I realize that I am dreaming and check through the thumb/palm RC. I am so excited to confirm my thoughts that I am dreaming by seeing my thumb go through my palm. I try to jump so that I can levitate/fly, excited that I am lucid dreaming, afraid to be short on time. The gravity is definitely not normal and I kind of float through the air as I jump, but I don't exactly get far off of the ground. This is probably because I'm inside a building.

Before I become lucid, my dream is set in my apartment at night and I feel there has been an intruder. The intruder is female and I could hear her have a phone call in Spanish and sing from my bed. My husband and I are both in the bed and I try to alert him but he doesn't really think there's any threat and just goes back to sleep. I am extremely afraid and I think at some point my husband does leave the bed and is harmed, but the scenario resets itself. I eventually realize I am dreaming and next to my bed practice jumping.

The dream is in English and was induced with MILD. Along with saying my mantas about flying, I also was a little paranoid about an intruder, though I tried to push the thought away.

Dream 2 non-lucid

I was heading towards a babysitting job for a Japanese family. When I met the mother, she talked to me in Japanese and I replied in Japanese, though I didn't remember any of the dialogue. She lived in an apartment.

I remember walking down the hall to the apartment and seeing her neighbors, who aren't Japanese. Her neighbors were intimate and I remember it being embarrassing to witness, but I don't remember what happened. I think their bathroom was in the hall and one was using the toilet, yet with no shame of being in public and still smiling and waving.

This was non-lucid.

I think I might've woken up in between the 1st and 2nd dream, or if not consciously thought in between the dreams that I need to write down my lucid dream before I forget, but instead moved onto a 2nd dream.

Time after writing down these dreams: 6:22am

I suffer with fibromyalgia so sometimes I have trouble sleeping and am waking several times in the night. As result of this I've experienced many non-recurring dreams and nightmares.

Last night I woke several times in the night with these dreams:

Dream 1

I was in a small room with my husband Tony, not the house we live in but like a smaller version of one we used to live in only the windows weren't going from wall to ceiling like they did. I was sat at my computer and Tony was just stood up, we were conversing about something but I couldn't recall what we were saying. I then looked at the window and noticed that there was a flood that had gone about 3 inches past the bottom of the window and the whole world outside looked like a big ocean. I said to Tony "wow, the water is really high up." He walked to the window and looked through it, then a big splash of water smacked into the window causing it to shatter and the water started to pour in. Tony leaped to the side as the water gushed in and I let out a loud scream. At this point the dream started to get a bit lucid as I thought not so much about the water filling the room but that it was running onto the electrics and was going to electrocute us, and then I woke up.

Dream 2

Me and Tony were in what looked like an old church building with loads of brick-a-brack, and we were playfully smacking each others' faces, but each time he hit back it was harder than mine. I attempted to hit him and he ducked, so I pretended I was going to hit him and then I gave him a really quick and hard slap. Now he wasn't my husband anymore but a girl in a long grey woolen coat, and she cowered away from me and began to cry quietly. I apologized realising I hit her way too hard, but even though it was a girl it was still Tony. I turned my attention away from her and started pulling at a drawer to an old chest of drawers. At the bottom I found old tapes I owned as a child and old game cartridges. I said "now we've found the jackpot" and pulled out a cassette of the musical tales of red riding hood. I was excited about finding old stuff I used to own as a child and began discussing how I could convert the tapes into digital format if they still had the data on them and hadn't rusted, and I could hear clearly the song "it's a wonderful time for a walk in the woods so I'm happily on my way" being played loudly and clearly in my head. I looked again at the young girl and went to comfort her and tell her about the tape of red riding hood, but she winced and cringed away from me and began to quietly cry again.

Dream 3

I think this was becoming lucid at some point. I was saying to someone around me that when I'm unwell I dream of teeth falling out or being pulled out. I pulled at a loose tooth that had shattered into a small stub, and then I pulled out another next to it and began to worry that I had an extra large gap in my teeth. I looked at the second one I pulled out and it had a small black dot on it but it wasn't necessary for me to have removed it. I then noticed other teeth were loose and able to be pulled out and I didn't want them to come out in the dream, I think this is where it started to get a little lucid.

Dream 4

I was in a very dark room with a single light shining down towards a rotastack hamster system. Inside were lots of little hamsters and a shrew or gopher which was inside it. I had to get the shrew out without letting the hamsters escape as I needed to take it to a vet for examination and then given to a sanctuary, but every time I pulled a section apart more hamsters were trying to crawl out of them. I attempted to trap the shrew in one of the units and seal it off, but I didn't have enough stopper pieces to stop the hamsters or the shrew from escaping. The shrew also used its weight to knock apart the units it was being held captive in, so I was juggling the shrew, bits of rotastack, and trying to stop the hamsters from getting away. The shrew was trying to turn its head to bite my hand. I knew if it got its teeth embedded into my skin it could easily rip off one of my fingers, so I was struggling with it to prevent it from getting its teeth around my fingers. Hamsters were running all over the floor, and there was also a large black spider the size of a football entering the scene. It raised its front legs readying to grab and paralyze a hamster if it ran into its path. I was now desperately trying to stop the hamsters from going near the spider and trying to stop more from escaping the exposed tunnels whilst remaking the system with one hand and trying to hold the shrew and avoid being bitten by it with the other hand.

Despite the dreams developing some lucid moments I wasn't able to control them to stop the bad things happening. It's like as if I wanted to play it out.

This has been a rather strange night for me. Firstly, I had a mnemonically induced lucid dream, though I was still at a fairly low level of awareness. I soon consciously oversaw this dream collapse into blackness; but that was not the end of it. In retrospect, I'm not sure if I really retained memory and consciousness of my dreaming throughout the experience or if I inadvertently performed at least one DEILD or just a WBTB; but after I believed the dream to be gone, I became lucid again in the next dream - and, in a way, the same dream - several times. And becoming more and more aware each time.

In the first of these dreams, I was in my home, getting ready for school and my mother was packing my lunch for me. With apparent spontaneity, I then realised that I was dreaming. I tried to exercise my dream freedom and act with the truth in mind that nothing I said or did before a dream character had any real repercussions. So I approached my mother's dream character and, taking note of her complacent reaction, took her arm and, after a brief delay, passed my hand/finger through it, for no reason other than to check the power that I had. After this, the dream was broken.

I felt myself lying within my bed, remembering that I'd just had a lucid dream but now seeing naught but blackness. I wanted to go back to the lucid dream. I tried not moving in my current position and going back to where I had just been. In the next dream, I was already aware on some level that this was a dream, though I'm not sure if it was from the very beginning.

Upon performing some kind of reality check, I made sure that I was dreaming once again. Also, I saw this dream beginning in a similar way to last time, as if it was that dream happening all over again. This time, however, I decided to build on my previous, faulty experience. I tried transporting myself away from my current location, which was then in my own bedroom and with my mother’s dream character, in which I had no interest and who was inhibiting my ability to think freely without worry of consequences.

I thought of where a good place to transport myself inside my dream might be and, at least in part remembering the bonus task of the month that's in place right now on this website, I tried transporting myself to a mountain covered in snow. But instead of changing my environment, all my dream did was put me in front of my computer monitor, still in my bedroom, and turn it into a video game that was set atop a snowy mountain. It wasn't even that fun of a game but I went on to play it anyway, rather than protest or attempt to go bigger, because I imagined that I had myself made some sort of mistake and that that was the best my mind could be expected to do under the circumstances. This shows that I still didn't have the brightest level of dream awareness.

In what was either my next dream or a distant continuation of my current one, I endeavoured to truly go to the snowy mountain once again and shouted at my subconscious, as a dream control method I'd learned, to turn my scene into that. However, I could only partially manage the transformation. When I looked around, there were still my mother's dream character and some pieces of furniture from my own house standing there. Soon, I lost my grip on the dream again.

These times when the dreams kept fading were not something that felt like they could be stopped. I don’t remember seeing any warning signals before they fell apart to keep my grasp on the dream; at some point, sooner or later, I simply saw my dream environments disappear and be replaced by blackness, followed by an apparent realisation that I was lying in my bed. Yet every time, I retained that light of dream lucidity.

Every next lucid dream I had, I seemed to gain more and more lucidity and dream awareness - though it still wasn’t as impressive as I’d have endeavoured for in the end. In my next dream, however, after performing a reality check by observing the anomalous face of a clock, I remembered the goals I'd formed long before to use in-dream techniques to increase my dream’s lucidity as much as possible. I was in my living room, where I saw a couple of superheroes hanging out (without finding it strange) and I rubbed my hands together. As I did this, my dream really did come to look more vivid. This was the first time I've ever used this hand-rubbing technique, along with a direct shout to my mind to increase the lucidity, in one of my lucid dreams.

This technique turned out to be successful. The scene before me had become clear and vibrant; but then, for some reason, I kept seeing momentary interludes of blackness in my vision, as if I had been blinking very rapidly or as if frames in the dream movie were breaking up. One of the dream characters who sat before me noted this. The dream then broke again.

In my next dream, I started back at my bedroom and looked at the clock, as I remembered having done last time. The numbers were wonky and the hands were off-centre, which was well enough to clue me into the fact that I was dreaming yet again. My mother's dream character actually came along and helped show me how strange it looked, now aiding me with the reality check. I picked myself up where I left off, with rubbing my hands to increase lucidity (which eventually faded if not cared for enough) in the living room, with superheroes on my couch.

I appeared on the balcony of my home and decided to fly off. As I was flying past one of the tall buildings in my neighbourhood, I detected supervillain activity inside of it (to the superheroes on my couch?) and resolved to confront it. I also detected some kind of note from the villain - like a ransom note. But, since reading tends to be so difficult in dreams, I struggled to make any sense of it. I paid so much attention to trying to read the note, not taking this important detail into mind, that I must have been losing awareness points by now. And my dream broke once again.

Next time, I knew right away that I was dreaming and I became extra-wary to preserve my dream and my awareness and to avoid confusing situations that I couldn’t control. Also, this was the first time when I started off in a different setting. I was in a school environment, one that was in chaos. There were people running around in the classroom and there was a teacher standing in front of me, who clearly was not happy. On the desk beside her were test papers and each one seemed to have a bad score on it - as well as vastly varying score denominators. One of them had a score of only 5 of an unrealistically large number, with too many zeroes to count. This, the teacher, was the score I had gotten on her last test. I was trying to not let this dream get to me and retain my lucidity; but it wasn't always easy. This scene was particularly dark and intimidating.

I remember having other dreams that succeeded this one; but I doubt any more of them were lucid. I don't have much recollection of these dreams anyway, so there isn't much more to say.

Although I'd looked forward to lucid dreaming as this night began, by the end of it, I was feeling kind of drained - even a little turned off to lucid dreaming the following day. Hopefully, as I gain knowledge and experience, dream control and retaining awareness will be easier in DILDs that I experience in the future.

Dream
Nightmare
False Awakening
Notes

Last night was strange. I think I had a false awakening and was close to lucidity before that. I had plenty of dreams but the important one was early in the night.

I was standing on train tracks in a snowy area. There was a train stopped on the tracks to mi right. At first, I thought I was seeing myself in third person but I discovered it was a clone or something of me. He had camera equipment and was yelling "It's not gonna happen!" to a group of people. I knew they were getting ready to film me while I was lucid. I realized this but didn't think it was true because my clone kept saying "you're awake! Look!" My view changed and I was staying at the TV in my GF's room, laying in bed. The vision was cloudy and the TV was off. I then re-appeared in my 'dream'. I did a reality check: Looked at my hands. At first, it was difficult but I managed to do it. My hands looked stockier and bigger than usual and were a dark color, as if they were burned or scorched. I kept looking at my hands but my clone kept saying "You can't do it, you're already awake! You're thinking this!" I was still looking at my hands when the world around me started shaking uncontrollably until I woke up.

In my next dream, I was in my room looking down at my rat, Juanita. She was out of her cage, under my chair. I noticed something red in her left eye and when she turned her face, her eye had been torn off. She was oozing blood and I suspected one of the other rats did it. I yelled something and ended up waking up, agitated.

I was in a bar-restaurant but there were no booths, only communal tables. I was sitting with a couple really good friends and a lot of their friends that I didn't really know at all. This gorgeous girl that looks just like this actress sat down next to me and we started talking. I kind of have a thing for mousy looking girls.


She embodied everything that I love in a partner (kind, compassionate, funny, weird,...). After hanging out with her for awhile she ended up exchanging phone #'s with one of my best friends. In the dream they were meant to be together and it made me very sad. I woke up after that.

Then the dream started over. This time, instead of exchanging phone numbers they got up to leave together and I stood up too and walked over to talk to my buddy. I calmly said to him, "I just became lucid". Then I tried to make the girl like me instead of him but she just turned into a lifeless puppet zombie that did whatever I asked. All her actions were very crude and vulgar. I didn't like it so I let her be her own character and she went back to my friend. I woke up again.

Dream started over. The girl was the bartender this time, and I was semi-lucid at the start. I sat down at the bar and talked with her for awhile as she mixed drinks. I wanted to prevent her from even meeting my friend. Ten to fifteen minutes passed and I went to sit down at the table again. She brought us drinks and I looked around for my friend and I couldn't see him. The girl disappeared outside and I heard a gunshot. She had shot herself in the head and there were bits of brain and bone all over the pavement outside. I somehow found out that she had found my friend, dead, in the bathroom. He had killed himself by taking a lot of opiates. A little too Romeo and Juliet for me. I woke up and felt a great emptiness in my chest.

Im on a stage in front of 200-275 people, 3 pepole are facing the crowd in frount of me and i cant see who they are on their knees hands tied behind their backs. I have a gun in my hand. I take the gun and shoot the one on the far left in the back of the head after I shoot him I cant make out his face because his face has been blown off because of the gun. I proceed to shoot the other two in the head with the same result. Then I put the gun and just as pull the trigger I wake up. (Help I have been having this dream for a month now.)

2/14/13 Friday

DR from 2/12/14

Had a bunch of dreams. Too bad that I can't decipher what I wrote : (

All I have from 2:30 am dream is:

???bags with grapes?
toilet
fruit threw
walking away
water ???

Oh, now after finishing typing below, I did have a dream about going to toilet. Then I woke up thinking "why do I still need to go, I just went/"

Last DR is still clear:

I'm at a house of a family member Jucka. For some reason, she wants to give my bunch of her books. They look old. Those type that don't have colorfull bindings, just monochrome cloth type of thing. I keep looking at them in multiple bookcases, thinking, that my mom will love them too.

She also offers very neat and expensive coffee maker and flat screen TV. Here is when I get suspicious, if she is giving them free or for some money. It turns out not free.

She is also giving me her telescope. It's very cool, just a simple tube, but looks professional and sophisticated. Every time I look at it, it's bigger. Untill it's a telescope, that's sticking out of the roof, that is split open, just like at the observatory.

DR:
I'm at the guest house. Counting money. Somebody walks in. They are coming for a visit to the house, they just took a wrong turn to the guest house. I'm mad. They were not suppose to see the money. Now it's not safe there.

From what i can remember of this dream it was very sinister.

It started with both my family and some others sitting round the table eating a meal. in my girlfriends house. There was some more of this dream before this happened but i cant remember it.
We were sitting eating this meal when suddenly everyone stopped, everyone went quiet. I looked over to my mother, she had no expression on her face. i looking down to her arm and she had a saline drip but it was feeding in BLEACH instead of saline.
Panicking, i looked over to my Dad, it was the same with him. a bleach drip and a 1000 yard stare.
i was sat there frozen with fear until i finally moved out the house and into the yard. I didnt know what to do.
Knowing what this 'proceedure' would do to them i decided to "pay my respects" and see them one last time before i left this house for good and the bleach killed them.
I rushed into the house and upstairs, into the room my dad was in.
His fat bloated body was slumped face first over the bed, already killed from the bleach. Scared and freaked out by this sight i ran out the house, straight into my car a drove away.

Dream end.

Will be another quick entry. "Possible" WILD because I am not sure that I maintained awareness all of the way to the entry. Mostly data for myself...so those easily bored, beware. Go to bathroom after 4 hours, hmm...usually 90 minute increments (though 120 minute increments seem more common if less sleep the night before, but not enough data recorded to support that yet...previous night didn't sleep great though). Woke up recalling a dream about lucid dreaming and relaying them in two different ways. Back to bed quickly. Woke up from the actual LD about 25 minutes after laying back down so also supports the idea that I might have woken up to go to the bathroom in the middle of REM since I got back to REM so quickly...or REM rebound...Anyway no big plans tonight but did the old mantra that never seemed to be consistent: "The next time I am dreaming, I will realize I am dreaming" maybe 5 times but I think this was not the key. I think it was a combination of nightmarish SP-like HH's raising my awareness just before the vibrations hit. I don't remember the "villain" but I remember thinking it was based off of a paranormal movie. Regardless, I recognized it as not being a real threat, felt the vibrations and nudged them on. I felt myself being carried into the air but I flew back to the floor and happened upon a sexy DC woman. I removed her pants to reveal white cotton underwear bunched up in places as if it wasn't the right size. I removed those and was awe-struck once again at how realistic a DC's skin could feel. I removed her bra and for was surprised that the breasts were not larger but they were just right and so realistic to the touch. At some point during all of this sensuality I heard a DC of my wife waking up across the room and I went over to her and she said that she was dreaming of silk purses and silk dresses. I wondered if this was some form of a false awakening for me but clearly still a dream since I was in a studio apartment nothing like my house with a kitchen and bedroom adjoined with no wall between. I had been getting busy with the sexy DC woman in between the futon(?) where my wife was and the kitchen but she had disappeared. Thinking about FAs I started actually waking up and I attempted my idea of what I think BB's awakening test/teleport technique must be or at least what I think an effective one would be for me but apparently I was too awake to go back in despite staying calm and still...probably finished up that REM cycle..? 104

I remember that instead of my husband in this dream fragment my five year old son was the one loosing hair.

Upon waking up I remembered another fragment, but by now All I remember is that it was also disturbing and tense.

Hello, this dream was so realistic but again surrealistic I know it may happen but I know it doesn't happen. freaky if you ask me.
I dreamt that I failed in life. become an "street woman" or you may also call it an hitman. but I woke up in the dream in an chair. I stood up, and looked around me. I was in an asylium. behind iron doors thick as an wall. I kicked up that door. just as easy it is to break glass. an person keept saying "follow me, follow me, lost child" and I followed that man on instickt. I didn't think, just ran after him. he stopped and said " you child, is still an hurt, pined and feared child in heart." and after a while he said " but I can help you grow up to an beautiful woman, with an purpose in life" I stopped, took up my gun, and shot him on that spot and yelled " you doesen't exsist, you dosen't exsist." and with some blood, and room spinning around, i shoot myself.

I woke up in the same sec that I shot myself. I was in alot of pain. and didn't sleep so good yesterday.