side notes

Date of Dream: WED 29 AUG - 2018





Dream No. 410 - Separated Sections

Dream 410 A - Everything Except My Request (Lucid Dream 25)
I can’t remember how the dream started. From where I can remember, I was in some unknown building and the corridors had lifts everywhere, ultimately freaking me out. I said to myself, “I’m not going in any of them without 18-Volt”. I then picked up my pace and tried to walk the heck out of that building. I noticed that the scene was fading on me and changing into a new scene.

For the second scene, I was in my brother’s room, just casually walking around when I suddenly got the intuition to look at my hands. When I looked down at my hands, I only had five fingers but they were clutched around a pen… The hand looked no different to real life but I ended up reciting the automatic response of “I am dreaming”. I then decided to do some more reality checks to make sure that I was actually lucid.

I decided to approach the kitchenette area where there was not one, not two, but multiple mirrors on the wall in this dream. On second thought though, I actually did want to go and look into the mirrors as I was worried about what I would look like and thought that the dream was going to make me look scary. Instead, I decided that I would count my toes, so I walked over to the couch and put my foot on there, counting six toes!

Once I knew I was lucid, the intention hit me and I started diligently calling for 18-Volt but the dream was not going to co-operate for him either. I was calling “18-Volt!” like a broken record while now walking around the entire house on a hunt. At first, there was nothing but because I was lucid, I did not give up. Eventually, something did appear but the dream was only trying to give me some green coloured animal, I forgot which animal it was though.

I shook my head in disbelief and sighed “no...” to the dream and so then the holographic animal disappeared and I continued on with “18 Volt!”, now heading out through the laundry and into the backyard. Half way down the slope of the backyard, the dream decides to try something else on me… My dad starts fading into the scene and again, this time I yell, “no!”, then muttering to myself “Oh my god, you give me everything but 18-Volt”.

Then I went into the garage and out the front door, completing the loop of the house after calling for 18-Volt about 100+ times. When I was walking out of the front driveway, I finally noticed 18-Volt holographically appearing lower down in the court but as that was happening, I was waking up… I wasn’t happy about it but my ability to talk in the dream was now ceased.

Dream 410 B - The Croatian Tongue
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was standing just outside the back door to my house, on the skinny concrete strip, talking to 18-Volt; I was facing towards the house, he was facing towards the lawn. Without thinking, I ended up for the first time in a dream, saying something in Croatian, I have forgotten what I said though. Looking absolutely confused and baffled, he then asked me what the heck I was going on about. He said something along the lines of “What kind of gibberish is that?”.

Before I had time to think of a reply, and to my surprise, Dreamy WB appeared in her dark-rust coloured hair, year 12 hoodie and black leggings and shoes, floating beside 18-Volt and she told him while pointing to me that I was not speaking gibberish, but rather “In the Croatian language”. 18-Volt then looks and goes to Dreamy WB, “She’s Croatian?”. And when Dreamy WB nodded in confirmation, 18-Volt grew this look of sheer amazement on his face, then looking to me and saying “No way!”. As this was happening, the dream was fading out and I woke up.



Dream Tasks
- Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? Partially)
- Have all members on the dream guide team obtain and apply knowledge on how to provide in-dream discipline to unruly parents (Achieved? No)

Challenges
- Start the dream off with Dreamy WB already present (Achieved? No)



Dream 410: Results (Competition #6)

410 A
Competition Night: 28
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

410 B
Competition Night: 28
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: Dreamy WB & 18-Volt (On Trial)
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 18.0
Calculation Details:
- First Lucid Of The Night (10.0)
- Was Introduced By DILD (5.0)
- WBTB Included (2.0)
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)
- Have A Dream Guide Automatically Appear: Dreamy WB (0.5)

+ Previous Total: 118.5
Total Accumulated Points: 136.5




At the start of the night, I actually had an endless stream of nightmares; the only thing is that I can't recall any of the details. Due to this endless stream of nightmares, I woke up at 5:00 AM and didn't fall asleep until 7:00 AM; this was after I came back from the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and thought "if you don't get some more sleep, your mum won't even be able to recognise her own daughter"... I looked absolutely horrifying, especially around the eyes (I think I should have taken a selfie and posted it here on DV as proof!... Jokes).

Where the intention for 18-Volt in the lucid came in is that I all of sudden discover that the workplace I am doing work-experience at in December is actually conducting the interviews from the 10th of September! You might be thinking, what does 18-Volt and attending the real life interview have to do with each other? That's not the correlation though. It's the fact that I will be required to go to the 13th floor and as past dreams have suggested, I have a big phobia of elevators. Originally, Dreamy WB has been providing me with the in-dream therapy but lately the dream has been tampering with her and not allowing her to appear.

I could have ultimately put an intense amount of time into getting Dreamy WB back but there isn't much time until September the 10th. I feel that with this approach, the dream would only try to mess her up more and more and I would be wasting my time, rather than actually trying to get a reasoning with my phobia, allowing me to become somewhat competent. So instead of pursuing Dreamy WB at the moment, I have decided to go with 18-Volt. I like dream characters with a larger complexion when it comes to things like helping me face my fears as they can not only hug me, but also pick me up off the ground and hold me if need be, so I feel a higher sense of security with them, especially with a big, strong man. As September the 10th is very soon, I'm trying to make a very concerted effort to get as much exposure as possible, spending approximately 2 - 3 hours in the day, writing detailed letters or task plans in my exercise book. I stated that the minimum amount of times I would accept before September the 10th is twice (once each week) but these interviews can happen any time from then until the 27th of September, so if it is later, then I would prefer to have practice with 18-Volt at least 4 - 6 times as a minimum. I said that I would be competent to ride elevators in real life when I no longer have to touch 18-Volt (or Dreamy WB if she decides to come back on her own) and I feel okay when I wake up. Otherwise, if I don't have enough practice in-dream, then I'll be clambering to find a stair-well. Once the interview period is over (and hopefully 18-Volt's calmed me down enough), then I will be having a big crack-down on the Awareness Behind The Dream in-order to get Dreamy WB back.

A bit about Dream 410 B now. I find it impressive that as 18-Volt is expressing his confusion, Dreamy WB appears on his side to clarify it to him. Usually, when there is a new significant dream character, I often have a series of "getting to know you dreams" (I don't plan these ones, they just come) where we meet for the first time and then they end up interacting with me and then learning about me as well. In real life, I have written that if it was possible to have 18-Volt go and see Dreamy WB to get behind the scenes tutorials on how my dreams work and how I conduct myself; so that's maybe what manifested in her appearing to him to explain my "Croatian" situation. By the way, Dreamy WB was telling the truth; in real life, I am actually Croatian.

Backstory: I ordered a dybbuk box from ebay, and also some free holy oil from a church that claims to have a bible that leaks the oil by itself. I am now only waiting the oil in the mail. Also day after I messaged Jamie for real after several years. Still haven't gotten any response.

Keyboards

I was in a giant antique looking store. There big sections, and I walked through a few until I realized it was a musical instrument shop. I immediately went to the keyboard section. I walked up to a funny looking soundboard from a keyboard and somehow pulled the keyboard to me and it almost crushed me. It seemed to be a piano with a retractable keyboard....

Dream skips to outside and Jamie is with me, but can't remember if she was in the shop with me. She was starting to tell me she played keyboard or currently plays it... something like that. I say something about what I like to play on the keyboard. She responds to what I am saying but her words get jumbled up. I ask her to repeat what she said. She starts again but she can't speak properly. I am realizing she is having one of those dreams where you have trouble speaking like I used to get. Then she vanishes as if she had woken up. I wake up soon after.

Inside a house.

As I'm drifting off I briefly enter a dream where Jamie is walking past me, we are in a living room with dark lighting.

Dybbuk

First I'm standing in a house. The dream had been going on for quite some time but I can't recall the details. I'm in front of a couch where Jamie is sitting and she is smiling at me. My dad is next to her and has his arm around her... I'm thinking why would she allow such a thing to happen? I conclude she is perhaps unaware of what is happening and has her attention solely focused on me.

Dream speeds up. I'm alone in the basement living room now and a dybbuk box opens by itself on the floor and a black and white picture of a boy standing in front of a house flies out of the box and onto a wall. Then a ghost boy emerges from the wall.

I fall into sleep paralysis right away and can feel a dark presence. I can't move anything right then but I'm not worried and I know how to get out of it. I focus on the dark presence trying to enter into me by spinning the vibrations faster and again I see the picture against the wall of the boy. I am unsure of what I am trying to accomplish here so I begin praying to Jesus to get me out of this state. For a few seconds I can't seem to move any limbs but then I break free and wake up


Oil

Dream of getting the oil that I ordered for free. Instead of being in a vial, which is what I expected. It was in a large Jar. I pondered what to use it for. People said it heals the sick cancer even. Some said it had even restored marriages, relationships and friendships. I suddenly had an idea of what to use it for.

Oil again

Dream I came home and my aunt had a package for me. It was the oil. She asked what it was for. I explained it to her and then I woke up
The only other dream i had was sex related and it was very intense.

Non-dream stuff - woke up earlier than 10 a couple of times but got up at about 10:10. Was having a non-lucid but some details are missing.

---

Dream:
I remember that this was the start of a transition between two dreams, and I was walking to a gravel car park. It was day, and I had a backpack, full of stuff, whatever it was. Then in the car park were two of my old school friends. At first they didn't notice me because of the distance, but I hoped they would because they were walking away from the car park in my general direction but I also wanted to leave my backpack in their car.

As I approached, I remember I was struggling with walking; it felt like it took a long time to get to them and they had at least spotted me. They walked back a few paces with me to their car, which looked like the car my dad has in waking life. One of my friends opened the boot and I dumped my heavy black backpack in there, remembering I still had some lessons that day, so I took out a couple of my pencil cases, ones which in waking life I use to keep pens and pencils separately and that I've always used.

Then there was either a transition or it was implied we walked somewhere else.
We were in an old building, ruined. There were more people, and now this was some sort of game. Me and my two friends ran out of the building first and it looked like it was some sort of hunger games/battle royale thing, so the three of us had an advantage for getting out first and we went through areas of a ruined city. I remember seeing our health numbers, 64, 40 something and another. I spotted some monkeys or something and decided to make them friendly with us; my friend asked what the point was, and I explained that as the other people came by, the monkeys would attack them and weaken them, without putting us at risk.

Then the rest of the groups started arriving in a scattered manner. I grabbed a stone and watched each person cautiously. Many of them went by ignoring me, running and looking for things to use. I went past a girl with a dog, that initially was on a lead, and then the lead vanished. The girl went one direction down some steps and the dog went another direction, where I came from.

Then there was some sort of flat area lower from where I had been, and everyone was here now. In a way it was like people had a short field of vision, like they couldn't see how close I was, like how ridiculous stealth can be in some video games. I remember the stone I held was limestone square cobble; it had a very sharp edge. I slashed a girl on her naked back and prowled away; the girl became complaintative to the rest of the people something like "how am I going to win now?!" with some sort of moody attitude.

The slash I'd inflicted on her was quite deep along the spine, but in retrospect she didn't seem to struggle or feel too much pain about it. I remember as I prowled around the area that these people all looked like former classmates or were simply random dream characters. My two old friends, I couldn't spot anywhere.

Then I remember I cut two other people, on their shoulders and arms. Not as serious, more like scratches. I seem to remember either everyone was naked or something. I think this was inconsistent in the dream.

Then there was a group of 5 or 6 older adults, in their 40s, 50s, 60s. They stood straight and graciously at one end of this area and one, a white, large lady, barked some complaints she had about something. Another, a black man, disagreed with her and said something about mental illness, and the reality of it. The comments were all related to the "game".

---

Notes:

• In this dream sequence, my old school friends would probably have been the best cue for RCing. I have not seen or spoken to them in several years now.
• I think that to make the monkeys friendly with us I had given them something they could eat, though I can't remember what.
• Through the whole second part of the dream I was mostly calm but in that mode where one observes everything very carefully as if anyone could be a threat. It's a basic instinct feeling, which is not surprising given the dream's context.
• I'm not sure why I cut the others with less force than that first girl; I remember the cut on her spine looked a vivid red. I think I felt like perhaps I'd caused too much harm, even if I should be concerned about my own "survival". I could have just killed any of them, but I didn't, and I don't know why.
• I think the man at the end was making a point that conflict could make us mentally ill. That's how I felt about it, somehow.

Non-dream stuff - a couple of non-lucid fragments and small DILD lucid.

---

Dream fragment 1:
I was at a garden centre place and there was an old man that (in the dream) was a regular I came to talk to. Come to think of it he looked a bit like the kind of old man like the guy who delivers certain parcels to us. He was on a small step-ladder tending to some sort of plant colony on a pot. He was flipping a "plate" of dirt around, because of seeds or something. There were many terracotta plant pots displayed around this outside part of the garden centre, in a somewhat hectic manner, but that seems to be how it tends to be in waking life too.

Dream fragment 2:

I remember playing a game, like Path of Exile, and I remember seeing the screen. Some monsters from another game such as Monster Hunter appeared and I didn't make note of that fact. But then I got a lot of oddly lucky item drops, and the character (or my dream self?) said something odd and I remembered to do a RC as I've been getting used to doing every so often while I'm on the computer too.

I held up my hands with my palms facing me, partially blocking the screen and I realised I was dreaming because my right hand's fingers were missing segments. It felt like I became too excited, as with other times, and the dream quickly destabilised, but I also made particular note of being too aware of the waking world environment at the same time that the dream visual detail was getting lost. I tried spinning, and doing something with my hands, and also produced a chocolate bar (that I could no longer see) and tried eating that; it did taste somewhat of chocolate, though I'm not certain if it was dark or not, but the dream faded anyway.

---

Notes:

• Before I went to sleep the last night, I remembered I haven't been setting an intention properly for dreaming lately.
• I initially set an intention that I might lucid dream and reminded myself that I could do it; then I realised that there was something wrong about the way I set my intention but did it again and it felt different.
• Despite not being able to see the chocolate bar, I know it was a Cadbury's chocolate bar, because I could still "see" the purple wrapper, even though I couldn't see.
• After waking up I did a RC and when I came to write this DJ entry I did a few more too. I tend to always RC in the morning.
• I may have lost some detail on the memory of the dreams overall because between looking after my partner's dad's yowly cat and needing to use the bathroom desperately, it was being a bit difficult to hang on to the memories.

Non-dream stuff - had a long non-lucid dream, but didn't immediately come to make note of it, so it's become more of a dream fragment.

---

Fragment:
I was getting married to my partner, who didn't look like himself but instead looked like a woman wearing a white wedding dress. I remember a Gothic style church, though I don't remember the layout exactly. The part I was in had some stained glass and the light came through directly, though I don't remember the light being coloured. There was a lower tier with square steps surrounding it (difficult to describe) and there were candles.

There was something about me needing a suit because I only had a hand-me-down suit and I suggested to my partner that getting a new one so late would be too expensive and that maybe we shouldn't bother.

Then I remember getting in a car with my oldest sibling. The driver seat was oddly positioned at the back, and I wondered how we were going to be able to see where we were going. I think it was evening in the dream at this point.

---

Notes:

• The whole dream reminded me somewhat of when I went to visit my oldest sibling for their wedding. None of the locations in the dream are familiar to me though.
• I don't particularly like wearing suits, so my suggestion to my partner was partly taking this into account.
• In waking life, me and my partner are really not interested in a wedding at all and in the dream neither of us seemed that keen on it anyway. The wedding theme has probably been brought on the dream-world because I've recently been hearing about weddings.
• There were more than a few good cues to RC, especially given the (unusual to me) context of the dream.

Date of Dream: TUE 21 AUG - 2018



Dream No. 403 - Little Dreamer-To-Be

I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, my friend JH had originally invited me to attend a party with her on Sunday night. When it got to Sunday night, I received a message from her on Facebook. She said that she wasn’t going on Sunday night anymore and rather that we would go on Monday night. I then went and asked my mum if I could attend the party and she said no. I kept trying to convince her but then she very sternly yelled “no!” and started to get very angry with me now.

The next scene took place in the dining room of my old house but there was no transition into this scene, rather, it was a direct link of the last scene. I was sitting on the table but I forgot what I was doing specifically. There was talk of the boys from my brother’s university having a games night and it had something to do with either dominoes or dice. I wanted to attend but my mum said I wasn’t allowed to and I felt cut about that.

Then out of nowhere, an envelope appears on the dining room table. I open the envelope to find that it is something from JO. It looks like an elegantly written letter on some good quality thick cardboard paper. At the start of it, she uses emotional appeal by somehow almost over-praising my talent of music. On reading the letter further, I found that she was inviting me to an event. I said to myself, “She’s just trying to promote herself.

My mum then comes up to me and insists that I go to JO’s function but I said I didn’t want to. No matter what I said, my mum kept going and once again got angry at me. I was thinking to myself, “She forces me to go to this thing yet she won’t let me go to a party with JH...”. I kept saying no for a while but my mum got angrier and angrier and actually quite soon, I felt the need to run away.

This boy appeared and his name was Andreas, I was going to be mentoring this boy for the rest of the dream. He ran with me though the dining room which was now made of a longer area than in real life, so it almost felt like the room was endless. The house then morphed back into the layout of my current house again but that’s when my dad also now joined in on the chase.

Andreas and I ended up outside, I don’t know how we got down from the balcony though… You’d kill yourself in real life. We were now running in the pergola area, towards the fence and it was the area between the Greek residents at the back of the house and the next door neighbour to the left of my house if you were looking out towards the front driveway from the garage. Sometimes I would look to Andreas to make sure he was keeping up and at other times, I would look back to see my parents hot on our tails and not falling back anytime soon.

At some point on the run, even if not his parents, Andreas was looking worried. I said to Andreas while still running, “If you call for Dreamy WB, Murray, or 18-Volt, someone will come and help you”, emphasising their names their names in a clear tone so he would understand. Firstly Andreas tried calling for Dreamy WB but nothing happened. He then decided to try 18-Volt next but nothing happened either. Andreas looked at me like “we’re doomed”; I suggested that he should try for 18-Volt again.

Second time lucky we were as something happened. The dream camera lifted up a bit to show the crystal clear blue sky. A very feint projection of 18-Volt showed, pointing towards the sun. He then disappeared and the sun came closer, shooting a thin ring of visible energy out from it. It didn’t affect me or Andreas but as the ring hit my mum and dad, they were pushed back slightly, allowing us a window of time to get away.

We indeed had more time that I could now plan how we were going to get out of the area. In order to be able to leave the area, we would have to go over all the houses, and so I taught Andreas how to jump onto rooftops in a sort of moon-jump motion. I was standing on one rooftop as I instructed Andreas on how to get onto consecutive rooftops without touching the ground. I then also told him that it was easier if he could find flat rooftops.

For some reason, after that, my attention was drawn back to the music room and so I actually went backwards. Andreas followed and I entered the music room to investigate some piece of musical equipment. I then had a thought that I have every colour of belt in my wardrobe except orange. There I saw it, apparently it was my orange belt with flower decorations attached onto it and my dad was using that belt to secure a piece of his equipment in place.

I quietly removed the belt off the piece of equipment and put in on myself. As I looked though the glass door, it acted as a mirror and so I was able to see the outfit I was wearing. Once I discovered the outfit I was wearing, I felt starstruck and so proud of myself… I love colourful outfits and that’s what I was wearing. It was a light blue denim dress with the orange belt, as well as coral coloured leggings and orange flats.

Soon though, the sight of my dad coming towards the music room caught my eye and I started to freak out. I had started running too late though as my dad saw but then he said something to me, I forgot what it was though. A big sign of relief had hit me and I had stopped, knowing that my dad wasn’t angry at me. With Andreas still standing at the side, not doing anything, my dad made a comment on my clothing and said that he liked more plain designs; he said he would have preferred it if I was wearing something like a dark grey and murky green. The dream then ended there.



Dream Tasks
- Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? Partially)
- In case of extended absences with Dreamy WB, train Murray on how to provide in-dream discipline to unruly parents (Achieved? No)

Challenges
- Start the dream off with Dreamy WB already present (Achieved? No)



Dream 403: Results (Competition #6)
Competition Night: 20
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: 18-Volt (Not on DG team yet - See side note)
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 7.0
Calculation Details:
- Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)
- Help Someone In Need: Andreas (1.0)
- 5-Day Recall Chain (5.0)

+ Previous Total: 94.5
Total Accumulated Points: 101.5



As soon as I write to someone new, the dream thinks I want another dream guide. I literally quoted in my letter to 18-Volt that as a full-time gamer in 4th grade, he is likely to have little to no understanding of the dream world and its principles. So therefore, I was anticipating a more casual interaction, kind of like interacting with a friend in real life. I thought to be either directing and orientating him myself or alternatively, going down to his level and doing what he wants to do. So even though the dream seems to be pushing 18-Volt towards the direction of dream guide, I've placed him on trial for the rest of August (meaning he will not score points for dream guide assistance in this competition). If he continues to provide meaningful advice and assistance, then he will be granted the position of the third Dream Guide Team Member from September. 18-Volt's trial will be fast-tracked if he manages to pull off something amazing (based on the dreamer's discretion), this is feasible because the August guide currently in Slot 3 has not performed, so there are no points that have to be altered if 18-Volt exceeds the expectations of his trial.

I close my eyes then start moving lucidly around my surrounding then I fall to my knees holding my stomach then grip the ground bashing the floor I scream I start to fall from the heavens then I wake up in lucidity murdering every virtual opponent I start crying as my tears start to fall I start transforming god starts worshipping me trying to banish me out of heaven until I see her again then I start moving slowly I bend down on one knee then lounge forward screaming I wake up laying in bed in darkness I close my eyes tighter my eye lids start to fall then I'm flying in the heavens looking at a vast eternity I see puppets and angels getting murder In my sight the there jus subconscious being I don't know if they really have a consciousness then I wake standing in mid air falling from my chest start bleeding then I'm falling in the ocean as I get buried under water in the ocean I wake up I close my eyes tighter then I'm in a seem less adventure where I'm in a burning forest where I stand in the wake of others persecuting me until I sleep again

Non-dream stuff - this has been the pattern for the last few days. I woke up at 8:30 but somehow fell asleep again despite not wanting to, waking up two hours later. Been having long non-lucid dreams on the first waking but usually forget too many details by the second waking.

---

Dream part 1:
I was playing a game like the new Monster Hunter, I even remember thinking "this game is too similar to Monster Hunter, feels a bit like a rip-off". It was day time but dim. I was playing a male hunter, walking around some marshland and there was an old ruin/structure, and there was an inscription on top. For some reason I changed character to a female hunter, and then used the grappling hook to get on top of the old structure. I was a bit clumsy about it but I stood close to the inscription and read it.

I can't remember what it said, but it was 3 sentences and was cryptic.

Details are missing here between the next part.

Dream part 2:
I remember I was hunting a large creature in the marshland with other hunters but then at some point there is a transition and I become a giant creature myself. I seem to remember the form I took was of a female reptilian biped, with creamy/dirty white scales. I then went around the world and met other creatures and either changed the type I was or simply got bigger.

Eventually I remember seeing a (in the dream context) god-like creature, which was so big it's difficult to describe with words; only the foot was under the clouds and even though I was a giant too my size was only of this creature's toes.

I climbed up the furry leg, which I seem to remember being brown or orange fur, getting past the clouds and seeing the sun; it had a skirt and I came to the conclusion it was female and kept climbing up her leg until eventually I reached her shoulder.

I can't remember what happened next other than I had a brief discussion with her; her father had made her upset for some reason.

---

Notes:

• This is the very rare dream type I typically enjoy quite a lot even if it's non-lucid. Unfortunately I did not think to RC at any point, despite the "massive" cues.
• The last dream I had of a similar sort was a couple of years ago, but it wasn't half as detailed nor was it of the same scale.
• I think I'm still doing poorly in regards to setting intentions about dreaming lately.
• The "goddess" creature reminds me now of a character I've seen an artist portray, so I'm thinking that's where her visual appearance stemmed from.
• From the first part to the second part, the feeling of being in a game was gradually reduced, until it felt more "real", especially with the climbing. Maybe because of the physical "effort"?

This weekend I started using a more intense regimen for day work and night work to increase dream recall and lucidity. It worked (somewhat)!

Day work: relaxed ADA, i.e. every few hours I do ADA for an hour. During that hour, every 10 minutes I remember in detail what I was doing 10 minutes ago. Also, each time I take my dog for a walk, I do walking meditation and focus on all of my senses.

Night work: night meditation before bed and in bed, setting intentions for WBTB, and SSILD during WBTB. Started keeping a physical DJ instead of using my phone in the morning. As I'm falling asleep initially, I revisit past NLs and visualize that I do an RC and calmly go through my lucid checklist -- calmly state that I'm dreaming, get a good look of my surroundings, start moving through the dream, once I feel somewhat stable scream "clarity now!" (and expect it), keep setting goals for myself to move forward, and most of all, feel calm and confident with an expectation of success.

---

Aug 17 2018 (morning of)

Begin day work, but no night work yet -- no LDs, but recorded several NLs.

---

Aug 18 2018

Day work, begin new night work.
Two semi-lucids (SL) and one LD, as well as a greater number of NLs than normal.

SL: I'm in a bus. I can feel warm sunlight through the window on my left arm. I'm going down a street near my childhood home. At some point, I become semi-lucid and begin to drive instead of being a passenger. I shift to 3rd person view, and I'm able to zoom and rotate the viewpoint to behind and around the bus, lower to the ground, higher, etc. Eventually I arrive at the end of the street and turn down a shortened version of the waking life street--this place reminds me of the wooded area near where I send my dog for day care when we go out of town. There's an outdoor party under a pavillion that in waking life is used to shelter tractors. My fiance, mother, and sister are all there with other random DCs.

LD: I find myself in an opulent room with deep red walls. The beams and columns are wooden and gold, with gold trim on everything in the room. There is a wooden desk ten feet in front of me with scattered scrolls/books/papers and other golden/brass instruments sitting atop it. The room feels cluttered but I can't remember with what -- bookshelves, tapestries? All around me deep red, wood, and gold are prevalent. I look at my hands and each of my fingertips has a small twisted mouth on it, similar to the strange writhing creature on the tree in Twin Peaks Season 3. I instantly become lucid and say "I'm dreaming". I begin to walk forward towards the table and repeat again, louder: "I'm dreaming!" Then I scream at the top of my lungs "Clarity now!", however I may have doubted myself too much, and the words come out garbled. The visual intensity increases greatly and I physically rise up from the ground. I can see there is some sort of light source on the light beige/tan ceiling, and suddenly I'm dropped back to the ground, as if the dream is rejecting me and literally spitting me out of the dream. I don't pop out of the dream, but it fades extremely quickly. The total length was probably less than 10 seconds.

Other SL omitted for quadruple X rating and just plain bizarreness.

---

Aug 19 2018

Day work and night work.
One LD, lots of NLs (more than normal).

LD: As soon as I enter the dream, before even examining my surroundings, I feel aware. I look at my hands and calmly say "I'm dreaming!" and feel pretty stable. The sky is reddish and very dark. I am standing on some igneous rock or basalt, with patches of dried yellow grass, some of which look as if they're illuminated by sunlight. There is also some gravel. I walk forward a few paces and set goals to walk to this patch of grass, then this one. I start to feel worried about the stability of the dream, so I drop to the ground and scream "Clarity now!" as I rub the palms of my hands and knees against the gravel and rock. As I was falling to my knees, the position of my legs and knees relative to my hands feels off--like they didn't exist before I dropped down. As I walk I realize that the rock that I'm on is sort of a cliff or hill, and that there's a dirt path on the ground level a few feet below the dropoff. I look up and see several houses ahead. The sky is darker near the houses. I'm level with the dirt path as the path rose up and the cliff dropped down to a point where they met. I stand up and pass the first, smaller one on my left. I believe the front door was open. The second house is larger and somewhat menacing. I feel some subconscious fear, and suddenly I dream bursts and I'm awake (or in an FA, which I really need to learn to convert). I think this one lasted somewhere around 30-45 seconds.

---

Aug 20 2018

Return to daily regimen only -- no lucids, only about 3 NLs remembered.

This morning I dreamt that there were freaky storms and tornados going over my house.
It all started when I looked out the window in the living room due to the loud noises outside. I saw that pretty much the whole street except the buildings were flying in a linear matter right , there was a rainstorm and the wind was so strong that we panicked that this is the end for us. It was surreal, things went flying in a linear manner , not like in a real storm where things fall apart and fly everywhere, it was weird, and scary.
Then we went out at a point , now there was no wind no storm, things were a bit damaged around me but it didnt seem to be a full on annihilation of the street. Then I started to hear the noises again, it was tornados. one touched down nearby so fast and then passed by us so fast it gave out a machinery sound. Then another came and another came, I almost got caught up in one.

So
When this one begins my mom tells me to walk over to our Neighbor Ali's house and toss some of our garbage in his can. For whatever reason, we can't throw away our garbage at our own house, so we made this agreement with him. Anyways, I walk on over to Ali's house and enter through the side door without ringing the doorbell

When I enter the house Ali and his family are all watching a movie in the living room, but I pass by them without acknowledging them, thinking that I can come and go whenever I want without question. However, just as I walk into the other room towards the trash can, Ali's Father says, "Josh [my name] is that you? Come in here", beckoning me to the family room. He and Ali's mother put the movie on pause and scold me for just walking in the house, saying that even though we have an agreement I still have to knock. They're pretty pissed off at me, almost disgusted, so I apologize many times, dump my trash on the way out and leave feeling like a fool. The feeling sucks, and I vow never to screw up like that again with them. But then I realize something; I have no clothes on.
Sidenote: weird, this is my second "naked dream" in a row

I have no idea why, but I figure that I must have taken them off inside without thinking. And since I didn't want to do anything else to disturb Ali's family, I decided to take off running down the street to my house. Above me was a dark night sky, so I doubt anyone saw me. It wouldn't have mattered though, because halfway down the street I ran into my brother. I explained my current situation and told him that I told him that there was no time to talk. He leaned in closer to get a good look at me before saying, "What? You're not naked." I looked down at myself, only to realize that he was right; all my clothes were still on.

Since I was definitely full clothed, my Brother and I met up with some of the neighborhood fellas to play a game that involved jumping over rock walls. The game led us to a house on the street that the kids had no problem approaching, so I followed. In the driveway was a silver Les Paul style guitar, and since I'm a guitar player I picked the thing up and started strumming a few chords. But before long, the owner of the house, a ~30 year old woman with two kids, walked outside and yelled at me. She said that she didn't let white people touch her guitar and it was for mexicans only, and made me give it back to her. This seemed odd though, since this woman looked and sounded quite white and not hispanic at all to me. However, just before I could hand her the guitar, I dropped it, leaving a huge dent in the bottom of it. She didn't seem to notice though, so I quickly headed home and off to bed.

In the morning I woke up thinking about how silly the whole "mexicans only guitar" thing was, and scoffed a few times before looking in the mirror. When I did look in the mirror, I saw that I had long hair down to my shpulders. Apparently it had grew 7 inched in one night. I looked at myself for a long while before deciding that I really liked how it looked, and went to show my mom and brother. They both seemed to like it as well. Then I remember thinking to myself, "Hold on, this is silly. I have short hair in real life and there's no way it grew this long by now. This must be a dream." From there, I set my mind on waking up. Everything went hazy, and exactly that happened; I woke up, ending the dream.

This is the most important part of this post. Very often I have these moments of realization that should lead to a DILD, but I always end up thinking that I have to wake up, even though I could just stay lucid if I wanted to. If I can change this, I know I'll have many, many more LDs. So, next time I have a moment of realization like this, Instead of forcing myself to wake up I'm going to immerse myself in the dream world and carry on with the dream, the only difference being that I'll be at the reigns.

Non-dream stuff - woke up at about 10:45, remembering mainly one non-lucid dream.

---

Dream sequence:
The first part I can remember is in an underground tunnel, with a road. It was dark and there were old sodium-type lights, the orange streetlight kind of lamps. There was also this area that joined with the tunnel.

There were no cars and I went through the joined area and there was a man; I stabbed him in the back and continued on forward, running I think.

Then my "view" changed, from the same height as him, I could see the man lying face down on the ground, with a lot of blood under him, and with his face in a state of surprise and shock, eyes opened. But then he got up. Now he was naked, and he had tattoos, he also had a 9mm type pistol and he was scared and paced backwards toward an elevator. My view followed in front of him as he got into the elevator.

Inside it was mostly chrome/steel, maybe with one mirror. It was very bright inside the elevator and the man was still shaking; he made it go up, I think. My point of view changed to be behind him, as the lift arrived.

There were some bodyguard types in a dark room and he asked them for help, they were like his henchmen; I can't remember what happened here exactly but then he walked into that room and then another, and the other guys were gone again. And in the other room was me, and the man was surprised to see me. He got a katana from somewhere and tried to cut my head off, and succeeded, but only for my dream self to disappear and another to reappear in the same place, taunting him. I explained to him, this was his dream, and he could not get rid of me (which doesn't make sense 100% and also I failed to realise it was a dream... )

He kept trying to cut my head off, the same thing happening repeatedly, and he was obviously getting frustrated.

Then the dark room was not a room at all anymore; we were outdoors in a japanese-style house garden and it was day, with a few clouds. He still had his katana but I was at a distance now, and I had a weapon now too, either a katana or a naginata. I rushed to attack him with confidence and he struggled to predict my moves.

I can't really seem to remember the ending.

---

Notes:

• I don't really know who the man was, but I remember his role was that of a criminal leader or something. He had long black hair, but I do not remember his clothes, when he had them.
• The elevator is a common recurring dream-sign, though it usually involves me rather than someone else.
• As far as I can remember, most of the setting was dream-generated.
• I spoke to the man about the nature of the dream, his dream, even. But then I didn't realise the nature of my own dream; it is as though I was a dream character to this dream character man of mine.
• I did not feel pain from the beheading but perhaps remember feeling a slight pressure from the blade initially.

Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 10:45 and started writing this about half an hour later. Several non-lucid dreams;

---

Dream sequence 1:
I was in a game, but it was a mix of reality and World of Warcraft. I was playing with one of my siblings I think and the area was like a place called Dire Maul (DM) in the game; it is an ancient elven structure or city and the most prominent feature is a Colosseum-like area. "Me" was level 57 and the dream's context was set in the original version of the game where the level limit was 60.

We were at this place to kill some generic enemies, though in the actual game there would have been ogres here. But where we were at now there were vampires. I remember something about a quest to get infected by vampirism (this started to blend a bit with ES Oblivion) and I did by going into a dark hallway (the halls are very large in DM) and then left the area and went outside.

I approached an exit to the area and saw a dead Wyvern past the exit archway, and I suddenly felt very wary of danger, and continued approaching this archway, then going through it and looking around carefully. The area on the other side was very open but it was like it hadn't been designed yet by the developers, as there was some jungle but generally it was very bare and flat, which it shouldn't have been. There was a Wyvern master and a Gryphon master, for Horde/Alliance factions respectively. There were some shop stands under a small covered area and they were selling some crafting recipes. They looked cheap and I knew they had limited availability so I bought some.

Some sort of transition after looking at a preview item which was like a blue t-shirt with white stripes on the collar.

Dream sequence 2:
I remember walking down a pavement, alongside a road, sloping down. I was near a palace which I could see through metal fencing. I remember seeing Corinthian pillars with gold leafed tops. I was going to go in through the front, but then remembered I was carrying something for a dinner or party at the palace, so I thought I best use a servant's access lest someone complain at me for not using it. I did not feel like I was a servant, but a guest bringing something to add.

I found the access further down the road and went in. Someone from the palace was here to greet me but otherwise there was a long queue over some zig-zagging ramp upward. I went past people, as I didn't have to be in this queue, but I noticed there was rubbish on the floor and I suggested to the person that came to greet me that I might pick up the trash and they said "no no don't bother" or something. It did bother me, as I hate seeing litter.

Then maybe there was some sort of transition but now I could see a big climbing rope ladder thing, made of green plastic. It went up many many stories in height. I'd say somewhere between 6 and 8 and I started climbing it. At the top was a flat segment that then went into a tower thing. I went in there I think.

Now there were more stairs and some more people from the palace were here to greet me, I remember an old black man with a nice smile. The stairs were not normal, neither was the inside of this tower. Everything was square. The steps were massively wide and made of thin wood, almost like they were made of veneered multi-layer plywood. I remember it was a bit of an effort to climb them and then I reached a final step, there were no more steps but the tower still went up. I looked at one of the people from the palace who was still near the entrance and they did something and suddenly the steps were moving, reorganising themselves into more climbing.

Dream fragment 3:
An instant transition, I think.

Some like a false awakening. It was dark and I was in our real bathroom, though things looked a bit off. I was naked, which matches the way I sleep, but I remember noticing I had two extra genital organs. I was either sitting on the edge of the tub or in it. For some reason I started playing with myself until I reached a climax though I did not feel any real excitement doing any of it, more just curiosity about the extra organs.

I remember putting on clothes for some reason before leaving the bathroom and then going back into bed.

There was another dream after this, though I don't remember it anymore because of the time its taken to write all of these... I did do reality checks after I actually woke up while doing regular morning stuff before sitting down to write.

---

Some notes:

• The first dream is very typical and it's the kind of dream where I find it really difficult to notice things as being "odd" because of the context. Everything that's "odd" just feels normal, since it's a game.
• I'm not really certain what happened with my sibling in that first dream, as I didn't see them again after the first part.
• I've forgotten a lot of details about the both the first and second dream, but I remember that it was day-time apart from inside some sections in the first dream which were in the large, dark, hallways of DM, which were unlit in the dream.
• I don't think I've ever had vampires in appear in a dream context before.
• In the second dream, I think outside was sunny, but the road I walked down initially was covered by tree canopy, though I don't remember seeing the trees.
• The setting of this second dream was somewhere like my native country, but I'm not sure that I felt I was anywhere specific in the world. The scenes were all dream-generated, anyway.
• I think what I was carrying was a large object though I honestly don't remember what it was. Maybe a large vegetable like a pumpkin or a giant turnip.
• The third dream was quite unusual, as I rarely have false awakening dreams and the sexual side of it was unexpected.
• Additionally, I did have some coffee last night before bed. A very weak coffee, which seems to help me with dreaming, and doesn't really make me not be sleepy anyway. Coffee doesn't generally make me feel "awake" in a way that is opposite to sleepiness, it simply makes me feel somewhat more focused.

Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 9:30 and got up to write this long non-lucid dream, that I've split into 3.

---

Dream part 1:
I remember being at the place that used to be a store, on the ground floor of my childhood home. in the dream this place was just a room, like a dining room. An old school friend of mine was there and he was sat down at a table and I had been too but now I was preparing some meals, like sandwiches for a trip. I remember I made 8 buns and 4 of something else. I distinctly remember putting the buns in kitchen paper and folding pairs over themselves.

Then I remember needing to go to the bathroom or needing the attention of my dad or one of my siblings for some reason, and they were in the bathroom. I remember it was dark. The previous room was bright, it had a light on or something.

Dream part 2:
Then I remember being underground, at a subway train station. I was walking toward where I knew the platform to be in the dream. It was a long journey, it felt more like I was at an airport terminal, in that sense. I remember thinking the way was through a certain place but it was just a bread shop and actually it was a dead end full of bread stands. I turned around and went toward some stairs up that then had escalator stairs down...

I remember being at the platform now. There was a massive red train waiting at the platform but on a rail that wasn't right next to the platform, then another slightly taller but much much thinner train was arriving, and everyone was thinking this one was gonna stop and be the train to take them where they needed to go. I thought maybe it would be, too, and got closer to the edge as it was going past, but it never stopped. It was a very odd train and I wondered how it even looked inside with the shape it had.

Looking around, the platform was only one of several. This was in some sort of enclosed valley. Surrounding the platforms were walls of stone but the top was open sky. Past the closest rails was not another platform, but a cliff, and down there were more platforms in different orientations and directions. It was night, but I could see clearly, though I don't remember illumination posts.

I was annoyed it had taken me so long to get here, and I remember I was carrying a backpack, presumably with all those food things I made. I was looking at a tiny unfoldable map, which I remember being an unsaturated magenta colour, like a light pink, and it felt more like it was for a cd to be in it, but there was no cd. I faffed on with it trying to understand it but gave up and a boy came up to me and mocked me and we got into a bit of an argument and I said something like "this map doesn't make any sense!" at which point the child agreed with a grin.

I remember I was sitting down now and there were many other sitting down too, seemingly students of some kind. One was arriving now and showing people this transparent but large crystal, with an oblong shape with beveled edges. He said it was part of the research he did with some old guy. Then he addressed a girl there and showed her the crystal, saying like: "this is what your grandfather and i worked on" and she took the crystal into both her hands and examined it.

At some point I was holding a beer, like a pale ale.

Now I remember only seeing a machine of some kind. A portable machine, made of glass or clear plastic, and the machine took liquid inputs at the top and they'd go down into larger tubed areas and then down into a tiny transparent chamber, where there seemed to be a mushroom, for each of the chambers. I remember 4 inputs, tubes and ends. The mushrooms seemed to magically absorb the liquids, mostly water.

Dream part 3:
Then an instant transition as far as I remember. I was seeing like a film scene but I was in the role of what was a future sci-fi German tank driver. The tank looked high tech and the metal plating had a blue hue. The tank was being dropped off into a warzone in a city in Poland or somewhere like that by a plane or helicopter.

On landing, the driver looking around for targets, mostly infantry on the ground or on top of buildings. The view zoomed in on a police car that was wrecked, then on a door, and then on some rooftops, as seen from the tank's position. There was some infantry on top of the buildings and the cannon was aimed and fired at the rooftop. Then looked around for more targets and didn't find any so moved on through the road, into a parking lot. Going up the parking lot twisty ramp, met with a mech armed with machine guns and rockets, and it outmaneuvered the tank easily but the tank kept the cannon aimed at it as well as possible; then the mech jumped and latched onto a wall, and the tank was in a bit of a bad position, stuck, and the mech was about to fire its weapons, and took some shells from the tank but without really doing much damage. I remember going "no, no, no" and bailing the tank very quickly. Now I was still the driver but I had some dual machine guns and fired on the mech which quickly destroyed it.

I continued on foot up the parking lot. Then I saw some agents, and I tried fighting them and did manage to get them but there was a sort of paralyising trap that proved to be difficult during the fight. My memory on the details here has been lost a bit. Then I just remember going out of the parking lot building at a higher tier and it was night but it would be day soon, and I was walking around past the edge of some kind of military base where there were several agents.

The last part I remember was some mutated war dogs that tried attacking me, and then a worm that came out of the ground and got me. The dream didn't end there but I don't remember what came next.

---

Some notes:

• The old school friend was the first potential cue for a RC. He was one of my closer friends during college.
• As soon as I was underground at the subway station, even before the platforms, it was a good cue to RC because I know that train stations are very rarely that big.
• The trains were an obvious dream-sign, one of my more common ones. Though it was the first time they had such weird shapes.
• In the third part, the dream was initially the context of some kind of future world war, like a hundred years in the future or something. The country the tank was deployed to was not an enemy, but an ally being invaded, in the dream context.
• The final context of the third part was that it was a digital thing, like the Matrix. Because of the contexts, I don't think I'd be likely to have noticed any RC cues at this point.
• I remember a music playing the last dream part. It was a mix of the soundtrack from the film "Fifth Element" and something else more dramatic. I can never remember music clearly after a dream ends.

Non-dream stuff; I woke up at 5:59 initially, then being up for a few minutes and then going back to bed and waking up again later around 7 and later at 10:30 when I got up. I haven't numbered the following sequences because the order in which they happened is really messed up in my memory.

---

Fragment and intermission:
This was when I first woke up at 5:59; I simply remember music playing softly. The next paragraph is from waking life:

I woke up from the sound of torrential rain, as did my partner, and we both got up from bed to look. I realised I was still hearing the vague memory of this music very faintly, at which point it stopped completely as I also realised the rain was the likely cause for it in the dream world. After a few minutes we went back to bed, but I did reality checks because it felt like an odd situation, to find that this was indeed reality. I realised that perhaps the fact that I was lucid already by being awoken by something odd was what made me think to do a few RCs. I seem to remember going back to bed with the intention of confronting the man from the next dream written...

Dream sequence:
I was in the car with my partner and we arrived at a parking lot. It was day but it looked dark grey and cloudy. The parking lot was in front of a few shops, and my partner wanted to go to one of the shops for groceries, but closest to us as we got out of the car was a little shop, and I went in and my partner followed. It was a vintage toy shop. There were metallic scale models of WWI and WWII tanks and artillery cannons, and the shop's owner was a man. He had two children, who were also at the shop.

I remember having a look around and taking a liking to a cargo wagon model and a WWII Panzer-like tank model. I always liked the shapes on some of the German tanks. The models were all on display on some glass shelves of some kind, I think. There was a strange red mood lighting and no other lights seemed to be present, actually. This has happened in other dreams though it is uncommon.

Then I was going to buy the model of the tank and my partner was sitting on a sofa thing in the reception area, bored, getting worried the other shop was going to close (which in the dream I felt like he was right about) and then we heard some noise from the other display room and the shop man just said it was his kids.

Then we went out and my partner walked into the other shop, and I was about to too, and I dropped something and I stopped and looked to my left as I was going to pick it up and there was now a small wall close to me but a gap between the wall and the shop. There was a man, crawling forward on his stomach and making raving noises like "oooaaa oooaaa" repeatedly. He looked right out of his mind, and he took what I dropped. I got a bit angry and stepped forward menacingly, remembering now that I was scowling too.

He got up and stood tall; he was a fair bit taller than me and still had an odd expression on his face, and initally just walked forward a bit toward me at which point I threatened him in my native language saying something to the effect of "you wanna get some?!", he stepped forward again and I stepped back because he had long arms and I was wary of him being able to strike me from further than I'd be able to hit him back. Another man stood up from a seat to the left (that I had previously not noticed, in fact there was a whole row of seats and people like at a clinic) and that second man grabbed the first one and directed him toward a bathroom in the wall of the big shop building and bashed the first man's head on the toilet lid.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in some sort of game, with a lot of water. There were big naval vessels and I remember an interface with a map showing lots of dots and dots with circles around them. All of them were coloured, and I remember most of them were yellow or white, and there were some red ones too. They seemed to represent other ships and naval bases. I remember later being on land and something about a military base and my siblings being there.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in a room with a round table. The table was modern and large, but not actually very high. Around the table were myself, some random people and of particular note an old school friend of mine, which I'll call C. I didn't speak to C directly in the dream, she looked moody and was turned away from the table and she looked as I remembered her. Another girl was talking to me and explaining that C and her girlfriend broke up and that C was upset because of it and that they'd been trying to have kids. I initially thought that was a bit odd.

This other girl started having a discussion with me about a random method I'd never heard of for a woman to get pregnant, and I said something like "well, why didn't they just try insemination?" and the girl looked at me with a funny face and said "insemination?" like she'd never even heard the word. She scrawled some crude diagrams of the female reproductive system and of how this other method was going to work.

C left at some point, and that's all I remember.

---

Finally, some notes:

• The raving mad man was someone I perceived in the dream to be like a beggar or vagabond. Not the kind of person I would have felt like I'd be threatening with violence, but I was angry for having something taken from me.
• It was odd that in the dream my partner didn't come looking for me but I didn't think of it in the dream either.
• The lighting in the toy model shop could have been a good cue to RC. I need to add it to my list of Uncommon dream-signs, as I've had it before.
• My old friend C was someone I had a crush on during school time. This should was a dream-sign and good cue for RC. For context, a couple of years later I did talk to her about it and she said that it wouldn't have mattered because at the time I was interested in her, she wasn't intersted in going out with anyone because she was fed up, but we were still friends.
• The fact that C and whoever her girlfriend was were breaking up seemed sudden to me in the dream. In waking life I do know that she has a girlfriend now but I so rarely speak with C that I don't really know anything about her life.
• The other very explanatory girl, felt like one of those irritating people who you can't really have a discussion with. Ironically I'm fairly certain she was dream-generated.
• It is somewhat curious to me that the dream-generated woman I recently had appear in some dreams, the receptionist, was a woman that represents the black hair archetype of woman I've found in waking life, such as C and some other friends. The Anima I've previously had appear in dreams was blonde, quiet, and of somewhat firm attitude. This second dream-generated archetype seems to be a different kind of Anima, more likely to respond and talk but also being firm in attitude.

I should make note that this DJ entry marks a bit of a milestone since starting this dream journal, that my dream recall has generally improved a lot solely by having the intention of writing down the dreams and having a routine to do so. I am no longer forgetting fragments easily between sleeping and waking, though it still happens.